Chapter 29: A Surprise
"Rose…?! Rose darling?!"
Rose sighs. It's been two weeks since the disaster and Rose has been doing her best to raise the money she needs for her escape. She's been acting like the lady her mother expects her to be, which frustrates her even further. She began coming down for breakfast again in the mornings and eating a bit more than before. She doesn't say much to her mother, but Ruth is busy with the wedding plans anyways. Rose decides it would be best to let her mother take over everything, keep her busy and out of Rose's hair for as long as possible. She knows Ruth loves to take control of everything and since Rose doesn't plan to be around for the wedding, she lets her mother make all the decisions. One would think that Ruth was the one getting married.
Rose's new façade is painful and tiresome. She wears all the dresses her mother picks out for her; corsets, petticoats and all, she sits most of the time in the library or in the garden, under supervision, reading boring books and merely staring out into space. She feels sick to her stomach most of the time, she feels like she is betraying Jack, being the prim and proper doll that he hated. She keeps reminding herself that she will break free, eventually. It's the only thing that keeps her from screaming out at the top of her lungs.
"Yes, mother…" Rose grumbles.
"Can you please come here, we need to pick out centerpieces for the tables."
Rose bites her lip and gets up to do so. She puts down a frightfully boring book about William the First of England, which she was forcing herself to read for the sake being the "perfect girl."
She goes into the kitchen and sees her mother with the florist looking at several pictures/designs for the centerpieces for the wedding.
"Now I like this one the most…" Ruth was saying as Rose enters. "White roses are indeed very romantic for such an important occasion."
The florist smiles. "Yes ma' me, I will keep your opinion in mind, but it will be your daughter's final say."
"Of course, it will be," Ruth says sternly. "I just like my opinion to be heard."
We all know that! Rose grumbles in her head.
The supposed young bride to be sits down and looks at the different layouts in front of her. The sketch work of the flowers reminds her a lot of Jack's artwork, which causes a lump to form in her throat. She examines each centerpiece carefully, all of which are beautiful in their own way. She knows it seems rather pointless to be looking at things like this, since she doesn't plan to be around for the wedding anyways, but she knows she must bite her tongue for now.
Rose particularly likes the Lily place setting, it has always been her favourite flower; her namesake came in a close second, but Rose knows that in order to gain her freedom a bit more, she has to agree with her mother at every chance she got.
"I think they are beautiful, but…the white roses suit the venue the most."
Rose can hear her mother sigh in satisfied relief and takes the designs back and gives them to the florist.
"White roses it is," Ruth says proudly, feeling very happy that her daughter was seeing sense now.
The florist gets up to leave.
"I'll be back tomorrow with the bouquets," he says.
"Thank you very much," Ruth says. "Wendy will show you to the door."
Wendy was the new maid for both Rose and Ruth to replace Trudy who died in the disaster. Rose could tell that Wendy was eager to please her new mistresses. She was young and inexperienced, something Rose could tell quite often as her mother was constantly scolding Wendy when she did something wrong. Rose felt sorry for the girl, to be working for her mother and yet she wanted to get to know Wendy better. Trudy had been her friend and confidant when she needed it most and Rose was sad to lose her as well as Jack and Emma.
Later on that day, Rose was in her room staring at herself in the vanity mirror when Wendy comes in.
"I'm terribly sorry Miss…" Wendy says. "But I was told to clean the fireplace."
"That's perfectly alright Wendy come right in."
The young girl struggles with her equipment as she drags it over to the fireplace. She begins scrapping ashes into a dustpan. Rose sits in her rocking chair and pretends to read a book about Queen Elizabeth the First. Rose decides that now was as good of a time as any to get to know Wendy.
"So Wendy, where are you from exactly?"
The maid looks up in surprise. She never expected one of her mistresses to speak to her other than to give her orders. Her mother, who had also been in service had told Wendy never to speak unless spoken to and to never see their masters as their friends.
"I'm sorry Miss?"
Rose could tell the girl was surprised.
"It's alright Wendy, you can talk to me, I'm not like my mother at all. I do not see you as an employee, but as a friend."
"Really Miss?!" Wendy says.
"Yes," Rose smiles. "Tell me about yourself."
"I'm from Illinois originally Miss, I grew up on a farm until my father moved us here to Philadelphia. He said the farmland was going dry and he had a better chance of making money in the city, so we moved here when I was about…ten or so. My mother works as a maid as well and my father in a factory. When I was old enough, I began working in service as well."
"What's that like?" Rose asks. "Working in service."
"It can be hard," Wendy admits, scraping at the ashes in the fireplace. "Especially if your boss is not very nice or when the work is hard, but most of the time it is okay"
Rose can tell that was a jab at her mother but says nothing. "Do you think you want to be in service all your life?"
Wendy swallows hard before answering. "No Miss, I do not really want to be in service all my life."
"What do you want to do?" Rose asks.
Wendy is scared that if she reveals her long kept secret, she might be made fun of. Her mother told her to bury her dream because people in their class hardly ever had their dreams granted, but Wendy still hoped. She decides that Miss Rose is nice enough to keep her secret and would never scold her for dreaming about it.
"I wanted to be a writer Miss, Like Charlotte Bronte or Margret Fuller or Jane Austen, but the chances of that happening are very small."
"Don't say that Wendy, everyone has a chance to be anything they want to be," Rose says. "Nothing is ever impossible!"
"It is for me, Miss…" Wendy says glumly, putting more ashes into the bucket next to her.
"No, it's not, I'm sure you can write down anything you wanted to and then get it published."
"I can't write Miss…"
"Can you read?"
"No, Miss I can't read at all…"
"Would you like me to teach you?" Rose asks.
Wendy drops the dustpan on the floor in shock, spilling ash and dust everywhere. Wendy immediately gets down on her hands and knees to clean up the mess. Rose goes down and helps her.
"I'm so sorry Miss Rose, you don't have to help it was my mistake," Wendy says frantically.
"But I want to help Wendy, you see if I'm going to be a wife someday, I must learn to clean up messes and such."
Wendy looks confused. "Wouldn't your husband have staff for that miss?"
Rose nods, knowing she doesn't know Wendy well enough to tell the maid her plan yet.
"It never hurts to be prepared," Rose shrugs. "But getting back to the reading and writing, I'd be happy to teach you."
Wendy can barely believe her ears. No one has ever offered her anything before and she can't help but feel very grateful to Miss Rose. She begins wondering if her dream to be a writer could possibly come true.
"Are…are you sure Miss Rose,"
"Of course, I'm sure and I mean it too."
Rose smiles. She needs something else to do with her time and she feels like she needs to rebel a bit more. She wants to help the maid as best she can, help Wendy achieve her dreams like Jack was and is helping with hers. She knows that the world is changing and that everyone should be given a chance to do something great and do what they want to do. She doesn't want Wendy to waste her life in service to others, she deserves her chance to break free.
A wonderful feeling is growing inside of Rose, excitement, she wonders is this is what Jack felt like when he was helping her.
"B-But I can't pay you or…"
"Don't worry about payment Wendy…" Rose says. "I'm doing this as your friend."
"F-friend?" Wendy says in awe. She doesn't have many friends of her own and Miss Rose seems so nice, much nicer than her mother and different. Miss Rose is daring and willing to risk her reputation to help a lowly maid.
"Yes, I hope you will let me be your friend."
Wendy leans over and impulsively hugs Rose. There are tears in the maid's eyes.
She suddenly pushes back in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry…"
Rose laughs, pleased to have a hug from someone she cares about.
"It is perfectly alright," Rose smiles. "Come up after everyone's gone to bed and I'll start teaching you."
"But what can I do to repay you?" Wendy asks insistently.
"Would you be willing to teach me about cooking and cleaning…all the things that make up a good housewife?" Rose asks.
Wendy looks bewildered and very confused. Why would a lady of such high society want to learn about service work?
"Are…are you s-sure you want to…?"
Rose nods. She knows this is part of her plan to start over, she will need to learn to cook and clean and basically care for herself when she is on her own. She needs some kind of skills to help her in the real world.
"It would be wonderful to learn, we will be teaching each other," Rose smiles.
Wendy nods hesitantly. "Please keep in mind Miss Rose, I am not very good."
"You are good enough for me," Rose says. "Besides, how would I know that you are doing anything wrong?"
Wendy smiles.
"WENDY!" a voice calls from down the hall.
"I better go," Wendy says. She gathers her supplies and turns to leave.
"I can't thank you enough Miss Rose."
"Please, Wendy call me Rose."
…
Two more weeks later, Rose is feeling better and better every day. The lessons with Wendy are going well, she is picking up on everything really quickly. They practice writing in her room on the floor, usually by candlelight, and then has Wendy read out passages from different books in whispers. She feels amazing, sharing what few skills she ever got from finishing school with someone who needs them more than she does. Rose wonders if she could ever be a teacher when she starts her life over.
Rose is learning from Wendy as well. She often sneaks down to the kitchen and watches Wendy and the cook makes dishes for the house. She asks lots of questions and her reasoning to the cook is that she wants to make a good housewife. None of the other employees question it and since she is with the maid at all times, Ruth hardly pays attention to it. The mother is too busy with wedding plans anyways. Rose also watches Wendy clean and fold the laundry as well as wash the windows, dust the halls and mop the floors. On the odd occasion, Wendy allows Rose to try her hand in cleaning, it's not easy at first, but Rose learns quickly.
The sessions with Wendy are a distraction from the wedding plans. Rose has been forced to pick bouquets, china patterns and place settings as well as trying different food items and cake flavours. Rose always picks the one her mother wants, making the decision process a little easier and gives her more time to spend with Wendy. Rose's days are so busy that she's exhausted by the end and ends up sleeping a lot more. She's noticed she feels a bit more drained now and dizzy on the odd occasion. She wonders what is wrong with her, perhaps all the rushing around and multi-tasking, but that all changed quite quickly.
It is a Wednesday morning; Rose is sorting through some of Wendy's practice papers as the maid dusts the room.
"You are doing very well Wendy" Rose compliments the young girl. "Soon you'll be a regular Jane Austen."
"Thank you so much, Miss… uh sorry, Rose,"
"You are…"
Suddenly, Rose becomes dizzy and runs to the bathroom.
"Miss Rose!" Wendy the maid gasps in horror, rushing to her aid.
She barely makes it to the toilet before she throws up the contents of her stomach into the bowl.
Wendy wrings her hands in a worried fashion as she watches the mistress lean back in what seems like exhaustion.
"Are you alright Miss Rose?" Wendy asks.
Rose goes to the sink and washes her mouth out before answering.
"I'm alright Wendy… At least I think I am."
"Can I get you something?" Wendy asks.
"A glass of water please…" Rose moans, the blood racing from her head, making it pound.
"I think you should lie in bed for the rest of the day," Wendy suggests.
"Really Wendy, I will be fine…" Rose tries to reassure her friend. She tries to stand up but has to grab the sink for support.
"You certainly do not look fine… please just lie down for a little while." Wendy pleads.
"Alright, I will," Rose nods. She lies down and Wendy goes to fetch her some water.
Rose feels a little bit better after a short nap and some water. Her strength comes right back and she's able to function for the rest of the day. It seems so strange, but Rose assumes that it is from all the rich food she ate for the menu selection. She is soon able to eat again and eats more than her fair share.
Wendy tells Rose that she told her mother and Ruth actually comes to make sure she's okay. Her mother insists her daughter get as much rest as possible. However, the next day and the day after, the same thing happens, she throws up, she rests and then is very hungry at dinner time. She is strangely asking for seconds and drinking quite a lot of sweet drinks like lemonade.
When she asks for a second piece of pie for dessert, her mother scolds her.
"Rose, please you cannot eat all that, you will get fat and then you won't be able to fit into the wedding dress I ordered for you. It is a custom designer, made to fit your specific measurements, plus if you eat too much your stomach will become upset again."
Rose tries not to roll her eyes in annoyance.
"I will be fine mother."
"You most certainly will," Ruth says gruffly. "I have set up an appointment with the doctor for tomorrow at 9:00. Wendy will accompany you."
"Don't give yourself a nosebleed, mother there is no need for you to waste money on a doctor when I feel fine."
Ruth looks sharply at her daughter but continues on.
"I'm not wasting money, I want my daughter in perfect health for the wedding and that will clearly not happen if you carry on this way."
Rose swallows the last piece of pie and bites her lip. She did find her appetite and vomiting unusual, but not enough to warrant a doctor. She decides there is not point in arguing with her mother.
"Alright, I will go."
"Good, and see if he can get you any diet pills, all that extra food can cause you to put on a few pounds."
"Yes Mother," Rose groans
…
The next day, Rose and Wendy walk to the doctor's office together.
The doctor is an elderly gentleman, about 50 or so, with a kindly smile and a firm demeanor. He greets Rose and then checks her over thoroughly. He listens to her current symptoms and then leaves the room to confirm something. Rose can see his expression is confused and possibly skeptical. She wonders if she has a stomach virus or something like that.
The doctor comes back in.
"Well, Miss Bukater, I can tell you what you have,"
"Good, is it a stomach bug doctor?" Rose asks.
"No, but I will have to reject your mother's request for dieting pills or anything to make you lose weight. The "overeating" is common in your condition…"
"My…condition?" Rose swallows.
"You're pregnant Miss DeWitt Bukater,"
Rose's heart skips a beat. She can feel a rush of emotions, happy, sad, scared and angry all at the same time. She knows immediately that it is Jack's. She has a little piece of him inside her. She knows that this will cause numerous problems with her mother and Cal, but she wants to savor the moment knowing that Jack will not be lost forever. Her eyes fill with tears.
"Don't cry Miss Bukater," the doctor says. "There are many steps you can take to deal with this…"
"Deal…?"
"Yes, adequate diet and exercise will ensure the baby's health and I can give you some brochures for adoption."
"Adoption?!" Rose gasps in horror.
"Why yes…" The doctor says. "Pardon me, but I'm sure your…fiancé will not be pleased, with the wedding and..."
Darn Philadelphia society! Of course, the wedding would be all over the news. Rose almost gets up and slaps the doctor. How dare he assume that she would not want this baby. This baby was the last piece of Jack and her time with him and this doctor is assuming that she wants to give it up.
"Of course, if you do not want adoption we could always terminate…"
Rose gets up and leaves right then and there. She can't believe what she is hearing, she will most definitely not get rid of this baby. She rushes to the office with Wendy scrambling after her.
"Miss Rose, what is it?" she says, rushing to catch up with her.
"It's nothing Wendy…" Rose lies. She trusts Wendy, but not enough to disclose this secret…not yet. "He would not give me the pills, but it is just a stomach virus, it will clear up soon."
"That is good to hear Miss, your mother will be pleased."
Yes, she will. Rose moans in her head.
When she gets home she tells her mother the news and then goes up to bed for some rest.
She lays on her bed and allows the emotions to come back up. She cries in sadness that Jack would never meet their child, hold him or her when they are born, to see their first step. She also cries in the joy that this baby is Jack's, he will always be with her. She also cries in stress because she knows she will have to work even harder in order to raise this child alone. She starts wishing that Jack was still alive. She knows that she has to move her plans of escaping up before her mother starts to suspect things. She knows if her mother or Cal learned about it, they would force her to terminate the pregnancy. If they did, she would most likely kill herself.
Rose pushes the stresses from her head, wanting to only focus on the positive right now. This baby was a gift, not a burden. She thinks about what the baby will look like. Would it be a boy or a girl? Would it have Jack's eyes and hair? What about her red curls? Would it be as cute as Sybil was? Would he or she be a beautiful artist like their father? Whatever the baby was, Rose was certain that she would be a better mother than Ruth ever was and she would love this child until her last breath.
She fell asleep that night, dreaming about the perfect child, a new ray of happiness in her life. She was no longer alone and something good came from that horrible tragedy. She was going to break free…
For her child and for Jack.