Chapter 3

During rehearsals for the show…

"Jay!" called Trudy Platt from her perch behind the desk in the lobby of the 21st precinct.

"What's up Sarge?" He replied kindly, trying not to rush past her up the stairs.

"How's Kim?" she had noticed some changes in Kim's body due to her severe ballet schedule and she was worried. She looked worn out and exhausted, and every time she was in the station she was limping or trying not to limp. She had always been in shape and in the top 5% of the city's police force.

"Tired, sore, hungry, cranky, stubborn, determined, stressed, hurt." He answered honestly. "While I'm here, can I get some paperwork for requested time off?"

"Sure can." She handed it to him willingly. "I'll sign off on it as soon as you get it back to me. You both deserve it."

"Thanks Sarge." He said gratefully and he headed up the stairs to meet with the team. He didn't get too far when he was questioned again by Platt.

"Any other paperwork you need Halstead?" Trudy wondered curiously, teasing the detective. But her question went right over Jay's head.

"Am I missing some paperwork?" He asked, puzzled. Did he forget to submit something with the undercover case he and Kim were working on? He had taken on doing the majority of the paperwork since Kim had to do so much physical work to follow the trail of the missing ballerina, and it only seemed fair.

"I don't know," she paused for effect. "Maybe a change of address form or a name change form?" She asked slyly.

Jay laughed out loud. "Not yet Sarge, but you will be one of the first to know." Jay replied with a grin. You had to love Trudy Platt, he thought, shaking his head and going up the stairs.

"Here are some persons of interest as far as we can see," Hailey began as she put pictures up on the evidence board. "Anna Victoria, also in the Russian Ballet, was she jealous of Mischa's standing in the company? Or Maria Soklova, her understudy would want her gone so she could play Juliet." Upton offered up some possibilities they had dug up who might have a motive.

"Or her ex-partner Antony Prokof, were they more than partners and he knew she was going back to her ex-husband?" Hank added a name to the board.

"What was she doing the day she disappeared?" Kevin Atwater retraced the famous ballerina's graceful steps of that fateful day she never came to rehearsal after lunch.

"Alex said she left the apartment at 7:30 am. Adam began, posting a picture of Mischa and what she was wearing the day she went missing on the board.

"Her Starbucks app showed she got a nonfat soy vanilla latte at Starbucks at 7:43 am. She went to Walgreens at 7:45 and used the ATM at 7:52am. Kim explained, posting pictures of the receipts next to her friend's photo.

During lunch she went to Panera at 12:15pm. Cameras show her in the auditorium at 12:45 but she never made it to rehearsal at 1:30pm. That's the last time anyone saw her." Ruzek finished the timeline on the board.

Voight jumped in. "We need to get street cams to see if she is on video somewhere in that area at that time. How far is Panera from the theater? Let's run the buildings and homes in that area. That should give us a good jumping off start." He directed the team and sent them scurrying in different directions to track down some leads and meet back up at the station the next morning.

Kim had taken off her sneakers to relieve some of the pain in her feet when she arrived back at the station. She had regained some stamina and found it was easier to walk now, her body adapting to her new routine rehearsing in the morning, eating lunch and going to work to check in, and then an afternoon rehearsal.

As usual, she was perched on someone's desk, this time it happened to be Jay's because it was closer to the evidence board. She didn't notice the horrified looks on the faces of her co-workers when they realized her white socks had turned mostly red.

"Kim, are you okay?" Adam asked, concerned. She seemed not to know why he was asking her that. "I mean my feet hurt but that's normal." She shrugged it off, not even looking down.

"Your feet are supposed to be red?" Kevin asked, joining in with his own concern.

"Throw me a pair of socks from my dance bag." Kim suggested, annoyed at the distraction. She continued to watch camera footage on the team's ipad, trying to make the evidence make sense.

Kevin looked in her bag, but all he found were more red socks, and an enormous amount of bandages, cream and tape. "Just more red socks Burgess." he said concerned, staring at her worried.

Jay heard the conversation and reached into his drawer for a pair of his socks. He would have carried her into the break room so she wasn't on display in the bullpen but he didn't want to embarrass her. He did convince her to go to the breakroom and he would look at her feet hoping to give her some privacy but Kevin and Adam followed anyway.

Jay appreciated their concern for his girlfriend, but he knew Kim was going to be annoyed at their attention. She was limping across the room, he winced watching her in such discomfort.

He gently pulled one sock off and was shocked at how black and broken her toenails were, how bloody her toes were, how bruised and calloused her feet were, blisters, and how swollen her ankles were.

"This is beyond first aid kit treatment. We're going to see Will." Kim knew she wasn't winning any arguments with the way the three men were glaring at her. Only Hailey gave her a sympathetic look.

"This is not abnormal for a ballerina." Kim argued uselessly, trying to get Jay to calm down.

"Well it's not normal for me to see someone I love bleeding so much and being in such pain." Jay complained truthfully, kissing her gently on the forehead after he helped her into his truck. She couldn't be upset with him for caring about her, she knew he meant well.

"You try dancing on your toes." Kim retorted in response, trying to relax, leaning back onto the seat as she went unwillingly to the ER.

"Somehow I don't think I'll look as good as you in a tutu." He smirked as her cheeks reddened.

Jay carried her into the Emergency Department at Gaffney Medical Center in downtown Chicago. "Maggie, is Will available?" he asked as he placed Kim on an empty stretcher provided by a nurse when he walked through the sliding doors. "I'll page him." she responded quickly to Jay's request.

Will was down to the waiting room in under a minute, having been between patients for the time being. "Kim, what's going on?" he asked, concerned. He hadn't heard anything involving the police come over the radio.

"Her feet, Will. Can you clean them up, she is having trouble walking let alone dancing on them." Jay described. Will grabbed a nurse and had them start processing Kim and putting an ID bracelet on her and an IV with antibiotics and pain meds.

"Let's get some x-rays, and then we'll clean these up and tape them, okay Kim?" Will described his plan of action to which Kim nodded her agreement to. Will allowed Jay to tag along, he held Kim's hand the entire time, except for during the x-rays.

"We've got some toe fractures, blisters, bruises, broken toenails and some ankle sprains." Will said after looking at the x-rays. "Typical dancer injuries. You can ice them, soak them in epsom salts, use biofreeze spray, and tape. I'll write you a prescription for pain meds and an anti-inflammatory." By now Kim was stretched out on a patient bed in a trauma bay as Will set to task cleaning her feet to keep out infection. Once she cleared a round of antibiotics through her IV she was cleared to go and anxious to get back to rehearsals.

"I know you know that they won't get better until you stop dancing. Especially at your age." Dr. Will Halstead explained gently. Kim wasn't offended, she knew the risks she was taking when she agreed to do this. "Try to cut back when you can, and try some of these remedies after your rehearsals."

"I brought Alexander in to critique your audition piece. He choreographed everything for Mischa." Mikhail announced to Kim as she warmed up. She knew he was a world class choreographer. If she could learn and perform what he designed for her, she thought she would be able to make it into the ballet.

He arrived a few minutes later, his nanny in tow. She and Katerina sat in the back by Jay, who took the time to be friendly without arousing suspicion. Alex knew they were both cops, but no one else other than Mikhail knew. If Kim got cast in Romeo and Juliet, no one would know that she was undercover; so there was pressure to make the cast on her own merit.

Jay watched Alex, Mikhail and Kim on stage. It was fun to watch Kim do something she was obviously very talented in, she just glowed when she performed. While Mikhail gave her some notes, Jay turned his attention to the young woman next to him.

"How long have you worked for Mischa and Alex?" Jay asked, slipping casually into detective mode.

"Oh, I just work for Alex." Elaina explained very clearly. "About 2 years, I think." Jay found that information interesting.

"Is that good water?" he asked, noting the unusual bottled water choice called Essentia Water. All he knew about it was that Lebron James drank it. And that it was far too expensive for his liking.

"It's better than Chicago tap water." Elaina noted as she took a sip. Katerina stirred after that, crying so Elaina picked her up so as not to disturb the rehearsal. "Shh, angel moy. Matuska is here."

"Did you get any vibes from Elaina?" Kim asked Jay what he had learned from her friend's nanny as they settled in on the couch after dinner.

"Does she know Mischa?" he asked her, wrapping her up with an arm around her shoulders.

"I think so, why?" Kim replied curiously, turning to face Jay next to her.

"It was the way she said she works only for Alexander when I asked her how long she has worked for Mischa and Alex." He answered thoughtfully. "And the way she looked at the baby, she just seemed too attached, you know?" Jay didn't have much experience with kids but something seemed off.

"Did she say something?" Burgess inquired intently, turning to face him.

"She called her moy angel." he returned in a horrible Russian accent which made Kim laugh. "And she called herself Matuska?" He asked if that meant something.

"Moy angel is my angel." Kim explained, "but matuska means mother."

"That is strange for her to call herself mama." Jay stated and Kim agreed. They would get the team to dig more into Elaina's past.

The day of the audition…

"Isn't she too old to be a ballerina?" A young ballerina, probably around 22 years old remarked to her little ballerina troop. They didn't try to hide their comments and laughter from Kim, who heard the whole discussion.

"Then you should be able to easily win the part." Kim retorted breezily, walking past the girls with as much confidence as she could muster. She may be older but she was definitely wiser. She knew how the judges would stare at you silently as you took center stage, she had felt the heat of the lights above beaming down on only you, the hours of waiting for the list to post. With her experience, only the normal fluttering of butterflies reminded her of what was at stake. Despite only being under cover, she still wanted the approval of her performance.

The tryouts were torture, the routines were difficult but the feedback was brutal. Much to Kim's surprise she had fared pretty well among the judges. If looks could kill though, she would be dead from the daggers some of the younger dancers were shooting at her.

"Congrats, Kimberly! You made it in the cast. You are going to be Juliet's nurse." Mikhail praised her for her efforts. Kim let out a sigh of relief, now she could get close to the people who had seen Mischa last. And to be honest she did miss ballet a little. Maybe it had been too much pressure from her mother that made her slowly resent ballet. It had been a lose-lose situation, where no matter what she did she could never please her.

She smiled brightly at Jay, "I did it. I'm in the show." She announced happily. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her up to him for a kiss. He was so happy for her personally, she had worked so hard to regain her ballet form, and professionally she wanted to help her friend and solve the case.

"That role doesn't have a duet does it?", he teased her. "No." She laughed as she punched his arm, laughing at him as they headed out to meet the team at Molly's to celebrate. Normally she would drink beer happily, but being more aware of being calorie conscious she switched to a vodka soda, one to be exact.

"Hey, congrats Kim!" shouted Stella Kidd as soon as Kim and Jay walked through the doors at Molly's.

"Where can we get tickets to the show?" Matt asked curiously, shocking Kim as other people echoed the sentiments of the captain much to her embarrassment.

"I will take care of the tickets." Jay promised and he casually changed the subject to get the attention off of night went quickly when you have a bedtime of 11pm, she enjoyed the two hours hanging out with her friends. At least for a while she was able to forget about ballet, but not about Mischa.

Jay got up early so he could go and talk to Voight before he had to take Kim to rehearsal. Her schedule was so intense, with a rehearsal in the morning and another one at night, and working the case in between, she would crash immediately after eating dinner and taking a shower. He was looking forward to solving this case and going back to a normal routine, or a normal Intelligence routine.

He jogged up the stairs to intercept their boss before the rest of the team was sent out on assignment.

"She's not sleeping, she's not eating. She's losing pounds she can't afford to lose. She's dancing 8-10 hours a day, plus doing our job. We need to solve this case soon." Jay pleaded with their sergeant to convince him to pull Kim.

Hank accepted the truth behind Jay's words, he could see it for himself. "Jay, I know you're concerned. You also know that Burgess is stubborn; she's not going to stop until she finds out what happened to Mischa." Jay had to admit that his boss was right, there was no way that Kim was going to stop. They would just have to solve the case faster.

"Jay, you also know that Kim would be furious with you and me if we pulled her." He explained rationally and Jay nodded in understanding. It didn't make it any easier to see her suffering though.

Hailey spoke up to the room of men, feeling compelled to defend her friend. As a female detective, she knew the pressure Kim put on herself to prove herself. "We have to trust Kim to know her body, her limitations." She insisted. "Kim is strong." she stated and no one could argue with that.

"Her going undercover is going to solve this case. She knows what she needs to do and we need to support her." The blonde detective assured the unit.

"Look Jay, I know you're worried." Hailey spoke to her partner of three years, following him into the break room. "How are you doing? You have been taking great care of Kim, but take care of yourself too okay?"

Jay sighed. "Hailey, there's a reason Kim walked away from ballet besides tearing her ACL. This is brutal." He confessed his fear for his girlfriend. "She loves ballet, but I don't want it to destroy her again. It's been ten years and she still won't talk about it."

Jay sat down on the couch and pulled her feet into his lap as he settled in. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked her gently, she had been zoned out since she left rehearsal. The stress on her body and spirit was high. He made sure she ate and drank lots of water to help her be strong enough to endure in the competitive ballet world.

"I couldn't escape the comments and criticisms of my dancing ability, my costumes, hair or makeup, of my body. It wasn't just the ballet community and my teachers, it was my mom." Kim confessed, trying hard to keep the tears at bay. "She was the worst."

"I hated counting calories, dancing for hours a day every day. Then go home and do your homework. You dance when you are sick, you dance when you are injured. You dance when you're sad, when you've had a bad day. There was never a break from dancing. I never had playdates, never had other hobbies besides ballet." Tears were leaving tracks on her cheeks.

"The girls were so catty, friendships were rare. I was a shy but friendly kid when I met Mischa. She was outgoing and bubbly. She was the best kind of friend." Kim admitted softly.

"But I was good at it. Became great at it. And I loved being on stage, dressed up. It was like I became a different person. Like I had a different life." she said wistfully. "Mikhail was like a father to me, and when Mischa left and I stopped doing ballet I was alone."

"I loved it, I loved it so much that it killed me when I didn't do it anymore." Kim confessed as the dam of emotions finally broke. While Jay knew it was good for her to release them it didn't make it easier to see her so defeated. "So I became a flight attendant to avoid ballet and my mother."

"Well, you're not alone now." Jay promised her, gently turning her face to look in her eyes.

"Thank you." She murmured, burying her head back into his neck, his arms wrapping her tightly to him. He would do everything he could to make sure she felt safe.

"Come on, let me run you a bath." Jay soothed, realizing Kim was emotionally spent. He got up from the couch, pausing only to press a kiss to the top of her head.