Relapse:∣▍
Chapter 3: "…we spoke of was and when…"
Kōzō Fuyutsuki could admit he hated the sterile smell of hospitals; the medical wing was no different. Though to be fair it wasn't as if these places were well regarded by the general populace, to begin with.
That being said, he couldn't say he even noticed the smell right now, not standing in front of this boy that he knew was dead.
Had been dead, he corrected himself.
Yet here the boy was, sitting on the exam table, shirt off, skin full of color, and breathing.
Breathing...
If he were still a religious man, he'd consider it a miracle.
But in this world, with everything he'd seen and every sin he had been an accomplice to, he could hardly say he'd held those beliefs in quite some time.
"I'd like to ask you some questions." The grey-haired man asked the young boy.
The nurse who had done a full check-up on him had swiftly vacated the room when he arrived, and the sub-commander was sure that she wouldn't intrude on them until he left.
Lt. Colonel Katsuragi had left to see to her plan of harnessing the entire Japanese power grid to pierce the AT field of the Sixth Angel. Now it was just the boy and him.
The Third Child nodded in agreement to his question.
Kōzō pulled up a chair that had been situated next to the door, the exam rooms were much smaller than some of the other rooms in the medical wing and they didn't have the luxury of a window either.
He looked at the boy seated at nearly eye level, the man could spot the child's mother's features in his face, though much of it was overshadowed by his father. The older man assumed that as the boy grew into a man he'd see far less of his mother and more of his father every time he looked at him.
But those eyes were different from either of them, they lacked the compassion of Yui's. Even after the Second Impact, Shinji's mother had a way of lightening whichever room she was in. Kōzō couldn't help but feel envious of his former student's optimism, he knew it wasn't out of her naivety, she was much too smart for that he was sure.
Shinji's eyes weren't like his father's either, however, neither before nor after Yui's death. Gendo Ikari had always seemed cold and distant, it just happened to become worse after his wife's death as she had been the only one who had been able to break through that icy exterior.
The elderly professor had to admit he hadn't interacted much with the boy, apparently, he was a meek, timid boy, an extreme introvert, but those eyes…
They didn't match the person listen in his file. They blazed with life while still being cold and collected, they were hollow, yet capable of boring into you. They looked much too old for a child, though he could expect dying had something to do with it.
Most importantly, they were examining him with razor focus, it was almost like Gendo's eyes on something new, looking for ways to exploit some new information. Kōzō couldn't help but think Shinji doing the very same thing to him.
The same way a lion looked at something, unsure of its' intentions, thinking about whether it should dismiss it… or tear it to pieces.
"The doctors informed me that you're having trouble recalling events?"
The boy blinked.
"Um, I sort of remember the Sixth Angel, but," his shoulders slumped "After that, I can't really recall much."
That bravado that he had seen in the boy's eyes seemed to disappear… how strange. Perhaps he was a bit like his father after all.
"Nothing about dying, before or after that experience?" he pried a bit further.
Shinji shook his head.
"I don't know, I just woke up in a freezer down in the Morgue."
"Speaking of which…" Kōzō changed to his next point "Why did you run out of the morgue?"
Shinji just sat there, not answering.
"You sent this base into quite a panic, someone presumed dead after fighting an Angel? They could have been contaminated."
He looked up at the former professor.
"Do you think I'm contaminated sir?"
His old joints groaned as he shrugged "I don't know, that's why we gave you a checkup, that's why we need to see if you can still sync with Unit 01 after this."
"Running like that, after me explaining this to you, you may see why we're interested in your behavior." The man elaborated.
The fourteen-year-old frowned "How would you feel?"
Kōzō looked at the boy who looked back down to his hands, flexing them, curling them.
"I woke up in a morgue, after fighting some monster in a giant robot… what exactly would you have done? Lay there and freeze to death?"
"You evaded security for quite some time." Kōzō responded.
"I don't know this place." Shinji said, gesturing to the base around him "What do you want from me? It's lucky I even made it to the GeoFront, I bet I could have gotten lost for days down here."
Kōzō had to begrudgingly agree with that point, it wasn't as if this base was exactly friendly to incoming staff.
"Do you remember anything happening? Do you have any memory between getting into Unit-01 and the Sixth Angel?"
The boy closed his eyes like he was recalling any memory he had.
"Screaming," he breathed "and pain."
Opening his eyes, he looked at the man "I can't say which fight it was."
Those eyes seemed to transform back into the ones that the professor had initially seen.
How interesting.
Kōzō just nodded and stood up.
"I can't say I'm satisfied with these answers, but I'm willing to say you're not satisfied as well."
The Third Child nodded slowly.
Reaching out he put his hand on the boy's shoulder "We'll need you for this plan Shinji. If we get through tonight, I think you'll be surprised at what kind of life you've had in the last 2 months."
Turning to leave Kozo was stopped by the boy's voice.
"I guess the commander didn't find any reason to see me."
Kozo cringed at the fact that was more of a statement.
And a true one.
"Your father is working his connections to see to Lt. Colonel Katsuragi's plan, he grieved in his own way before the news of your… condition came to him."
It was a lie, but Kōzō could freely admit that the world ran on white lies.
What disturbed him most was the response, dripping with venom.
"Sure, he did."
ʡʘʢ
Shinji stood there, breathing in the view of the purple humanoid in front of him.
He was just standing there in his plug suit waiting for the crews to do their final checks before he'd be able to hop in.
They forwent any testing, there wasn't time, it would be almost like his first battle again, only this time he actually had a good chance of dying.
Misato briefed them on her plan, the same old plan.
Shinji had just stood there, listened, and nodded. There wasn't a whole lot he could do; he already knew what to expect.
He would miss the first shot, then he'd kill it with a second one.
He'd tried more than once to compensate for the rifle, but there wasn't a whole lot to be done, it wasn't the most predictable thing and after a few lives he'd just given up, let the MAGI do all that, he just pulled the trigger.
A hand clapped him on his shoulder startling him from his thoughts, looking back he saw the woman, a smile of confidence on her face.
He really couldn't be certain if she was putting up an act or she really believed in her plan. It was hard to tell with her and despite everything, Shinji had to begrudgingly admit she was an overly optimistic person.
"Ready?" she asked him, that same confidence coursing through her voice.
"No, but I don't have a choice…" he mumbled.
"Don't worry, all you have to do is pull the trigger, the MAGI will do the rest." She smiled, reassuringly.
Shinji shrugged "But what if I can't even pilot the thing?"
Misato looked at him, "Shinji you've killed two Angels already, it'll be like riding a bike."
Shinji looked back up at the plates of purple armor, resting against them that same figure he had seen in the morgue leaned against them.
"Same old Baka Shinji." She spat, glaring at him.
"Like riding a bike." he echoed.
She pulled something from her coat, it wasn't much more than a simple voice recorder. Handing out to him, Shinji just looked at the dark rectangle.
"It's a message left with the PR department at Headquarters." Misato said, handing the black rectangle to the pilot.
Shinji took the NERV-branded device from the older woman, clicking the play button, the long beep of a messaging machine played, much to his confusion.
"Um, this is Toji, hey new kid, um I mean Shinji. We're counting on you man; you can do it."
Shinji just looked dumbfounded at the device, Toji had sounded so… sincere. Had this happened in his first life? No, no he would have remembered, right?
"Kensuke here, Shinji? Hang in there, ok?" the timid voice of the military geek rang from the tiny speakers inside the device.
The message ended, leaving the Third Children with a heavy weight in his chest.
What if they had sent that simple message the first time? What if he had heard those words when they really could have helped him?
He just handed the black rectangle back to Misato, doing his best to keep his hand steady.
Those words had been too little too late, for him at least. Had this been his first time around… well.
He was sure it would have made all the difference in the world.