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Chapter 4: "…As you watch me wander, curse the powers that be…"
The two pilots sat there, on top of pillars leading to their respective entry plugs. The moonlight gave them a beautiful view of the countryside, Shinji threw it up to his imagination, but the moon appeared to be much larger than usual tonight.
Perhaps it had to do with the fact that there was no light pollution. From the tip of Japan to its southernmost islands, the whole island chain's electrical grid was being funneled right to them.
The only indication of life was the strings of lights for workers as they connected miles of wires to get all that power to them. No matter how many times he had this view, he always found it to be one of the most beautiful sights he had the privilege of seeing with his own eyes.
Rei sat beside him at a reasonable distance, staring out into the same vastness. Neither of them had said a word, in all honesty he didn't know what to say, was there anything more for him to say?
"Go ahead and blurt something out, I bet you could think of something stupid to say." She barked at him.
Shinji looked over to Unit-01, leaning against its' purple armor plates stood his dread. Despite a bandage covering her left eye and her right arm being wrapped as well, the redhead that haunted him still looked beautiful to the Third Children.
"Salivating over me again Third? You're disgusting."
Disgusting…
He was…
"Rei?" he asked, looking to free his mind of this.
"Yes?" She asked in that same monotone voice he had come to know.
Shinji couldn't remember the last time when her voice was actually alive. When it was truly Rei Ayanami, the clone/hybrid, he could never tell if it was the drugs they gave her or just the natural order of things.
If there was such a thing….
"Why do you pilot the EVA?"
That was a stupid question, one he was sure he'd asked before.
"I might've asked that before, I guess you didn't hear…"
"No, I was informed of your current condition" she interrupted him, looking over she eyed him up and down, like he was some curiosity. "I… do not know what I felt after I was informed you had died."
That was a new one.
"Um…"
"I believe the information was kept from me for some time, soon after I was told you were actually alive." she explained.
Shinji frowned "It's a bit much for them to keep that from you, don't you think?"
"They did not want to distract me; I would have to take the shot if you had died."
"I did die though…"
He watched her closely, the moonlight did its best to show him what little emotion found its way onto her blank face.
"You can't remember any of our previous interactions?" she asked suddenly.
Rubbing the back of his head sheepishly he wasn't necessarily lying, after all he didn't remember their interactions per say.
"Except right before I piloted Unit-01, there's not a whole lot there."
"Perhaps they will return in time." she suggested, making no notion that there had been anything to transpire between them that was out of the ordinary.
Shinji kept his small smile to himself, they might, though something like that was rarely a guarantee.
Neither said anything for a few moments, each just looking back out to the countryside.
"Because it's a bond." she said softly, breaking the silence.
"What?"
"You asked why I pilot the EVA. It's a bond," she said, her eyes refusing to leave the vastness in front of them "with everyone."
That was… new.
Standing up, her figure silhouetted against the moon and the countless stars in the sky, Shinji's mind wandered back to his original life, one where he had watched as an infinitely larger form had done the same.
"It's time," she said quietly, no panic or tension in her voice "goodbye."
That's not ominous at all.
"Get in the EVA Shinji," the phantom growled, this time in his ear "it's all you're really good for anyways."
ʡʘʢ
A bead of sweat ran down Misato's face as the enclosed bunker began to heat up. Between the computers and the people manning them, she figured they had about an hour till they all died of heat stroke in this poorly ventilated space.
She watched as the two pilots entered their entry plugs, both beginning to be submerged in LCL.
Syncing procedures were called out in the bunker, she only half listened, instead she stared intently at the boy on the screen in front of her.
Shinji's eyes were closed, his head dipped, she couldn't help but look at that face and see for the first time the timid boy she had been caring for was at peace for some reason.
"Commander…"
She turned to one of the terminal operators. Leaning over, Misato stared at their screen.
It was vital signs, Rei's seemed normal enough, elevated, but normal, even that monotone girl couldn't keep her body from producing adrenaline.
Then there was Shinji…
Her eyes narrowed, his heart rate was steady, not elevated in the slightest, like he was taking a nap.
But more impressively the Sync Rate.
"Make sure this data gets to Ritsuko." She told the operator, who nodded.
Turning back to the screen with Shinji's resting face on it, she forced down the string of thoughts going through her mind.
74.3%
That sync rate hadn't even been achieved by the Second Child, someone who trained the better part of their life to do this one job.
Part of her felt glad though, perhaps Shinji's whole resurrection experience had helped him in some way, made him more confident, though it had nothing to do with his abilities.
Part of her wanted to call him back, she had to live for hours with the thought… no, knowledge that she had sent that child to his death. Part of her wanted him out of the Eva forever and stuck in some bunker for the rest of his life, just to keep him safe.
"Shinji." she started, as she pressed a button for the comm link to his EVA.
The boy man no indication that he heard her voice; it was like she wasn't even there.
What was she supposed to say? 'I got you killed last time, but don't worry that won't happen again?', no, there were no good words for her to say now.
"Look, whatever happens out there… I'm grateful to you, just for trying,"
"Thank you." she spoke softly, hoping he understood how she felt.
At that he opened his eyes and had she not been turned away the Lieutenant Colonel would have noticed how different he looked; how old those eyes were.
ʡʘʢ
Shinji blocked out all other noise.
Right now, all he needed to hear was the deep rhythmic thump of his own heartbeat.
Laying there, he looked at the Angel floating over the city he had come to know, the positron cannon he'd fired countless times, shouldered and waiting for power.
The night sky lit up with the streaks of hundreds of missiles being launched at the Angel. He was laser focused, perhaps he'd even hit it with one shot for once.
"Dummkopf! You've had thousands of tries, like you'd make it this time!"
Typically, he didn't have to worry about her inside the entry plug, for some reason it was a rarity that she'd even be here, but here she was, right behind him, yelling into his ear, it was almost as if they were back in the middle of the Pacific. Crammed together in Unit-02 after meeting for the first time.
Those were simpler times.
Shinji did his best to block her out, but the real distraction came from the Sixth Angel itself.
"Their Sixth Baka, it's still Ramiel to you!"
Ignoring the comment, the Third Children watched as it morphed, or more accurately seemed to shatter and scream, a horrible sound that seemed to cut into his ears.
He'd never seen something like this, in all his time he'd only ever seen the Angel as the floating solid diamond.
Though its basic offensive and defensive attributes remained the same, it was always a tricky situation, he'd always wished NERV had purpose built an insanely powerful rifle for the EVAs, but perhaps they never truly anticipated this. Despite the fact there were people whose jobs were specifically to think up these strange situations.
The targeting display that had folded down over the top half of his face flashed its special symbols and targeting information, if he really wanted to, he could understand it, but he didn't want to, if anything, he was annoyed with the flashing colors.
He could have sworn the system had never been this bulky, but it didn't matter, he was only there to pull a trigger. Hopefully once, but it never seemed to be that easy.
He heard callouts for the command bunker, power was being transferred to the rifle, hundreds of miles of cable electrified, thousands of workers eyed their own gauges so that nothing would fail.
Then the countdown began.
"Thirteen."
Shinji breathed in a nose full of LCL, he always expected his body to react like his very first time, but it never did.
"Twelve"
Maybe that's just what happens after you do something too many times, you become desensitized.
"Eleven"
How many times had he sat with this rifle in his hands?
"Ten"
How many times had he missed this first shot?
"Nine."
How many times had Rei been killed in front of him because he wasn't fast enough?
"Eight."
"Yeah, how many times have you screwed everything up?!"
"Seven."
"How many times have you let everyone die?!"
"Six."
"How many times have you let me die?!"
"Five"
Perhaps he could never change.
"Four."
Another life, another world on his shoulders.
"Three."
The fate of the world on his shoulders was just another Tuesday for him at this point.
"Two"
"You're just able to hide it now, but you're just as scared as the first day you stepped in an EVA!"
"One!"
Maybe he was.
"NOW FIRE!" he heard Misato shouted through the com system.
Maybe he wasn't.
Reminding himself not to jerk the trigger as the reticle aligned with the center mass of the Angel, Shinji squeezed the trigger on the rifle with smoothness that could only come from taking the same shoot countless times.
A flash of blue from behind him, tenths of a second long, all strings of energy converging into the rifle. Another flash, this one from the barrel, sending the whole power of Japan condensed into a single beam of energy towards the target.
Surprisingly to the Third Children, there was nothing in return for him, no opposing beam warping his own.
Instead, his eyes told him that it had punched through the core of Ramiel, and then it screamed.
Later they would only be able to describe it as a scream, but the sound had more in kind with a poorly played violin then a human, it still cut at his ears despite the protective shell of the EVA.
Through the rifle's scope he could see a wash of red flood over buildings in Tokyo-3, but it wasn't dead.
"We missed it?!" he heard over the coms.
"But how our timing was perfect?"
"It's charging, energy readings rising!"
"Everyone Brace for direct impact!"
Readying his AT field, Shinji prepared for the inevitable.
Taking a breath of LCL, he ignored the bloody taste.
He wasn't going to let anyone die today.