A/N: Have I mentioned….ISH ? Also SC is right, it is a match made in heaven, I've never had more fun writing. (She loooooooves Michael Bolton, don't let her tell you differently)
Bolton makes me want to punch a window. Don't let DC tell you differently. - SC
Disclaimer: We don't own Chuck or its characters.
Sarah walked into Casey's apartment for the hastily called meeting. "When this is over we need to talk about a cover problem," Sarah said. Casey raised an eyebrow. "It's not bad, and we can fix it, but I told Chuck we need to make love."
Casey studied her a minute. "I'll kill the feed tonight," he said softly. Beckman popped up and it was all Sarah could do to school her features into the Agent Walker mask.
"Team," she said in greeting. Sarah noticed Graham wasn't there and chalked it up as he had other things to do. "Chuck was correct in identifying Mason Whitney; subject had nuclear intel. However, Bartowski incorrectly perceived Whitney as a threat."
Sarah's mind raced. Beckman had called him Chuck, and there was nuclear intelligence involved. Where was Graham? "Chuck's not wrong very often," she replied automatically. It was a true statement but she felt more at ease defending him in front of Beckman than she did in front of Graham.
"But he's annoying all the time," Casey muttered. Sarah looked up at Casey. His face didn't match his tone.
"It was probably Chuck freaking out and jumping to conclusions once his sister got involved," Sarah added.
"Hmm, interestin. Let's keep Mr. Bartowski's emotions in mind when he flashes." Casey and Sarah shared a look. "Whitney was a programmer for a top-secret project, code name: sanctuary. When Whitney disappeared, so did the sanctuary data embedded on a computer chip," Beckman explained.
"Wait," Sarah said, putting all the pieces together out loud. "So whoever has the chip essentially has a skeleton key to access our nuclear facilities?"
"Precisely, Agent Walker. In the wrong hands, this is potentially catastrophic." Sarah and Casey exchanged a look. This just became something big. Beckman began to give out their assignments. "Casey, bring Chuck with you to the morgue. Maybe there's a clue only he can see to ascertain Whitney's true cause of death. Agent Walker, search the body for the missing codes. Maybe there's a chance he still has them on him. Good luck, you two. The world is counting on you." The feed cut.
"Picked a good time, Walker. If the world ends because we don't find this guy, tonight won't be an issue."
"Casey..." Sarah began.
"Relax," Casey said. "I know what you're talking about. I've heard Ellie and Devon talking about it." He looked away, grunted and rolled his eyes all at the same time. "They are beginning to wonder."
Sarah looked away, frustrated. "Any other asset in this situation, we'd just have them come to a secure facility a couple of nights a week and that would solve the problem." She looked back to Casey. "Last night after dinner Ellie and Awesome were making out like hormonal high schoolers and Chuck and I stood there like awkward middle schoolers. Any other asset would have jumped at the opportunity."
"Chuck's not an asset," Casey said softly. Sarah looked at him. "You know it, I know it…" He paused. "I'm not saying this to blow smoke up your ass, but I think Beckman knows it."
"I don't disagree with you." Casey grinned. "What?"
"I was just picturing the Intersect literally blowing out of his head if you kissed him that way," Casey said, laughing.
"Stop," Sarah replied, rolling her eyes.
"He wouldn't be the only one," he said giving her a level look.
"Casey—" she began.
He held up his hands. "Walker...the amount of...professionalism you have brought to this op is commendable." He paused and shook his head. "Bartowski's not a professional at all."
"Don't I know it," she muttered.
"I watched it all happen last night," he admitted with a grin on his face. "Were you trying to kill him, Walker?"
"What? No! I was just stating the obvious." Casey turned his head and looked at her. "How else was I supposed to tell him?"
"Like I said, I can cut the feeds." She glared at him. "Walker, all you had to do was say it's time to make them think we're having sex. You clearly said it's time for us to make love. That's scrubbed by the way."
Sarah stared at him for a minute. "Okay, John, let's say I have the first clue what you're talking about. If you cut the feeds, then what? You know how he'll be."
Casey shrugged. "I know how he is now, can he be that much worse?"
She was knocked on her ass. "Casey are you suggesting…" she couldn't finish that sentence.
"I'm not suggesting anything. You are HANDLING the asset."
"Oh, I get it, you're jealous," Sarah said with a grin, trying desperately to get Casey off what he was suggesting. Trying desperately not think about what he was implying.
"Walker," he growled.
"You wish he was making you the mix tapes. It all makes so much sense now why you get so sullen when he makes me one."
"Walker, I'm warning you."
"Too many lonely nights watching him?" Sarah asked.
His eyes flashed. "How about I hand that assignment off to you, or we switch apartments, huh? How about you watch him in his bedroom at night?"
Sarah swallowed. "Truce," she said, her mouth dry. Casey nodded. "I'll go get Chuck."
"You want the tapes on for Graham, don't you?" Sarah couldn't answer. "And you." Sarah didn't say anything, but the look she gave him was answer enough.
"You change your mind, say bullshit and you'll be clear." Sarah stared at him and then nodded. What in the hell was going on?
}o{
Chuck was at the Nerd Herd desk thinking about the strange conversation he had just had with Morgan about Harry Tang's wife and an anniversary present, when he saw Lou walk in holding a package. "Okay, just give me the verdict, Chuck; I can take it," she said.
Chuck came around the desk, enjoying this. "You sure you want to hear?"
"If you're teasing me, please stop. If you're not teasing me, don't lie to me."
Chuck gave her a tight smile and held up the phone. "Good as new-ish," he said.
She took it from his hand and began to check for herself. "I don't believe you."
"You can learn a lot about a person through their cell phone, by the way," Chuck said, grinning. "For example, I saw that you listed your nana first, under 'A Nana.'"
She gave him a hug, surprising him. "Thank you," she said.
"Hey, yeah," he replied, a little surprised she was this excited.
"You really saved my ass, Chuck."
"Wow, you love your nana and you have the mouth of a trucker. You're a very complicated woman, Lou."
She held out a box to him. "I brought you something, for fixing it."
He took it from her. "Thanks, you didn't have to," he said grinning. He gave it a shake. "Uh, a sandwich?"
"It is, uh, the sandwich. Turkey, Munster, Eggbread, I'm even gonna call it the Chuck Bartowski."
His eyes grew wide. "I can't believe you named a sandwich after me."
She gave him a shy look. "You know, you should come by the shop sometime and taste it fresh."
Chuck was rocked back on his heels. "Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yes, I'd love that. Lou, this is kind of the biggest honor... Sarah!" Chuck saw Sarah walk up. "Guess what Lou just did for me for fixing her phone?" Sarah gave him a look and then looked at Lou.
"What's that, Chuck?" she asked.
"Lou, here, owns a sandwich shop and she's so grateful I fixed her phone she's naming a sandwich after me," Chuck explained.
Sarah gave him a look again and then glanced at Lou. "I'm sorry," Sarah said. Chuck looked over at Lou who also had a strange look on her face.
"OH! Lou, this is Sarah, my girlfriend." Lou's face was unreadable. Sarah glanced at Chuck again and then at Lou. Lou glanced at Chuck and then back to Sarah. Sarah sighed and looked at Chuck. She moved a curl back from his forehead then turned back to Lou.
"Nice to meet you, Lou," Sarah said.
"Nice to meet you, too, Sarah," Lou replied. They both turned to look at Chuck.
"I'm confused. I'm so confused," Chuck said, looking back and forth between the two. "Did I do something wrong?" Chuck looked back and forth again. "I'm not getting the sandwich, am I?" Sarah pressed her lips together and looked at Lou as if to say, "see."
"Is he for real?" Lou asked. Sarah nodded, lips still pressed together. "Sarah, it's just an opinion but he seems like a great guy."
Sarah looked at Chuck who was blushing. She turned back to Lou. "It's not an opinion, it's a fact."
Lou nodded.
"I'm not getting the sandwich, am I?" Chuck asked forlornly, deciding not to be annoyed by the way they were talking over and around him, as if he wasn't standing right there. He felt like he'd maybe misstepped somehow.
Lou gave Sarah another look and then grinned. She turned to Chuck. "Yes, Chuck. You keep that sandwich. You two come by anytime." She started to leave but paused and turned back to Sarah. "Don't hurt him."
"I won't," she replied. Lou nodded and walked away. Sarah looked at Chuck and she shook her head.
"What did I do?" he asked. She just gave him a slow, understanding grin. And it dawned on him. Crap. He winced and nodded. "I wasn't trying to...you know."
"Oh, I know, it's just what you do, but if you didn't do it quite so much, it would make this easier."
"Sorry, I don't mean to screw up the cover," he said softly.
"Come on, there's more to Mason Whitney than we thought," she said, starting to walk off. She stopped, turned to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "I just don't want to see anyone get hurt Chuck. This life…"
"I get it, Sarah. I wouldn't be able to have an honest relationship. I totally get that, but I really wasn't trying to flirt."
"I know, Chuck," she said softly. "I know." She nodded her head. "Come on, we gotta get to the, uh...storage room."
"Storage room?"
}o{
"Okay, this is just a storage room," Chuck said giving Sarah a look. She twisted her lips to the side and kept working on the body. "They just happen to store people in this room, people who are no longer breathing and who are refrigerated," he rambled on. "Come on, Sarah, is this for me making you listen to Right Said Fred last night?" She continued not to make eye contact, the smirk dancing across her face.
"What's wrong, Chuck?" she asked. "Are you too sexy for the morgue?"
"Sarah…" Chuck replied in an exasperated voice. "You're better than that." He was shaking his head, and glanced at the corpse on the table in front of Sarah. He managed not to faint.
"Man up, Bartowski," Casey replied. Chuck got the feeling Casey enjoyed this part of the job. "Got to store 'em somewhere. Better than stacked up on a curb like garbage, right?" Sarah was looking over the corpse making Chuck want to gag a little. "Eyes on the prize," Casey reminded him. "Getting any flashes?"
Chuck glanced over at the corpse. "Good lord, the man is naked!" he yelled covering his eyes.
Casey looked back at the body. "Appears rigor mortis has set in, too," he said, jabbing a needle into the body to remove fluid.
"I hope not, for his sake," Sarah muttered. Both Casey and Chuck stopped, turned slowly, and started at her. She looked from one to the other. "What?! You two CONSTANTLY make innuendos and I do it ONCE and you're offended? Double standards much?"
"Casey does that, not me."
Casey looked at Chuck and grunted. He turned back to Sarah. "Find anything?"
"Nothing yet," she replied, looking over the body. "No codes. Hang on a second. What is this?" She found something behind his right ear. She dug a bit and when she pulled away it looked like a piece of fake skin with a transmitter implanted in it. "Bug," she said to Casey.
He worked on the computer for a minute waiting for the results to come back on the blood pulled from the deceased's body. It made a beeping noise. "The guy was poisoned," Casey replied. He turned back to her as she began to put the bug in a container. "Toxic derivative of pentothal. Initially, the subject becomes uncontrollably truthful. After it accumulates in the occipital lobe, victim suffers from unconsciousness and eventually... death."
What's the timeline on this thing?" Sarah asked as Chuck looked more and more concerned.
"Can't say," Casey replied. "Could be a couple hours. Could be minutes depending on the concentration."
"Am I in any danger?" Chuck asked.
Casey turned to him, trying to keep the smirk off of his face. "Don't know." Sarah looked up at Casey. "But apparently Walker has pretty high standards. Make sure there's no chill in the bedroom tonight." Sarah glared at Casey, as did Chuck. "Oh, you meant from the poison. Just don't touch it and you'll be fine." Sarah left the room first. "Don't skimp on the heat tonight."
"I hate you. I really hate you."
When they got outside, Sarah pulled him aside. "We need to talk, meet me at the Wienerlicious, without Casey."
"Oooo, cover date? Another just me and you mission?" Chuck asked.
She was silent for a second, looking into his eyes as if she were trying to figure out something. "Did you forget? It's about our mission tonight, making love."
Chuck gulped and nodded. "Definitely don't need Casey."
She started to turn when she just couldn't help herself. "He'll be listening you know," and then she turned and got into the car.
Chuck dropped his head straight back. "It's no picnic for me," Casey muttered behind him, making him jump.
Chuck glared at Casey. "Again...I hate you."
}o{
Sarah had just finished scraping charred bits of beef off of the fryers when there was an urgent rapping on the door of the Wienerlicious. She'd been hoping Chuck would arrive early and save her from the menial task, but it was apparently too much to hope for. She was already done with the damn fryer.
She hurried around the counter to go to the door and let him in, and she had every intention of just pretending Scooter wasn't there until his voice intruded her space. "Ah, ah, ah!" he called out as he counted the money in the drawer. "You know the rules, Walker. Not while the green's out of the machine."
Yeah. She knew the rules. He'd written that shit on his list of rules that he presented her with when she first started at this lousy crap job. She rolled her eyes at Chuck as he looked at her through the door, lifted one finger for him to wait, and slowly turned. "Someday, Scooter, I hope you're able to get the stick out of your ass long enough for you to experience life."
"Kind of you. Really," he responded sarcastically.
Gritting her teeth, she unlocked the Wienerlicious door and pushed outside. "Hi. C'mere." She grabbed his hand and walked him over to one of their tables outside. "Sorry. I'd let you come in but, um, Scooter's being a dick."
"Is that his thing? That kind of seems like it's his thing."
"Yep!"
He winced in sympathy for her, which she appreciated.
As she sat across from him and leaned across the table, she noticed he looked like he was in over his head, his eyes a little wide. And as she pretended to rub his hand for the cover, she let her fingers slip over his pulse point on his wrist. His heartrate was elevated. "You okay? Something happen?"
"Um. No. No, but I sort of ran here. And I'm out of shape. Definitely." He gave her an embarrassed look. "Also, I had a lot of stuff I had to catch up on at the desk because I spent most of the day looking at a guy's dead body with you and Casey. That was a lot."
Sarah bit her lip. "Oh. Yeah."
"I mean, that guy was poisoned. And it's got me thinking, like, how easy it is to do that to somebody. Just slip that bug thing onto them and wham, they're done. I mean, not wham. There's a period of abject suffering before death. What if someone does something like that to me?"
"Chuck, we're not going to let something like that happen to you. Okay?" She laid her hand over his again and squeezed. "That's why we're here. We were investigating someone else's death and it had nothing to do with the Intersect. You're fine."
He nodded. "Enough about that, though, you, uh, you said you wanted to talk to me?"
"Right. Yes." She cleared her throat, then scooted her chair closer to the table. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay for tonight's mission. I mean, I want to be sure we're all set."
"Y-Yeah, I—Wait, are we-we calling this a mission?"
"Uh." It was a weird, random question. But she still decided to answer it because it seemed important to him for some reason. "Yes."
"Right, okay." He nodded. "A mission. I am...set. For the mission."
"You seem a little nervous so I want to sort of set you at ease if I can. It's just your family, Morgan, um...Devon…"
"Oh, God..."
"Yeah. But they sort of have a point. I mean, I get that it must look sort of bizarre from the outside. For all intents and purposes, they think we're dating and a lot of time has gone by without us…having...had..."
"Yep," he cut off, scratching the back of his head. "Um, not really their business, though."
"No, it isn't. But it's the sort of thing I guess they can't help but notice. And considering how that personal questions game went last month, um, Morgan is weirdly interested in that part of your life."
"Thank you," he drawled, chuckling. "Thank you for that observation."
She winced and giggled, squeezing his hand again. "Sorry. It's true. We need to protect the cover, though. That's what tonight is. And after it's over, hopefully everyone gets off your back."
Chuck nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I mean it's...been a while since I've slept with someone. Not-Not like slept with someone, but slept with someone."
Sarah blinked. "What's that mean?"
"Uh, I...don't know." He laughed at himself. "It's actually been a really long time since I've done anything at all, so there's that."
She pulled back a little and clasped her hands together on top of the table. That had been very honest and she wasn't really sure what to do with it so she tried to just pretend he hadn't said it. "Chuck, listen. It's okay. I-I know this is kind of...uncomfortable."
"I'm—No. I'm good. I'm fine. It's fine."
"It's just that we have to do it—" Shit.
"I got it."
"I mean, not do it do it." Shit shit.
"Got it, thanks."
"We just have to make sure we don't blow—"
"I got it I got it."
"—our cover."
"Well this has been a good talk, Sarah, thank you. I feel a lot better." He put his elbows on the table and clutched his head between his hands, fingers tangled in his curls.
It was his damn fault. He'd done this to her. Saying things and reading into the words she was using… This was never a freaking problem before. "Look, it'll be over in the morning, Chuck. And then we're in the clear for a while."
"I swear to God, if you say 'Lie back and think of England', I'm going to go walk in front of one of those speed demon cars that always dart around in the Buy More parking lot."
Sarah cracked up, shaking her head, fighting back a blush. "Let's just make it through the night, huh? I'll show up, let Ellie and Devon see I'm there, let them make their assumptions, and then we just stay in your room. Nothing difficult about it, right?"
She knew how ridiculous that sounded and she inwardly rolled her eyes. Everything about it was difficult. The worst part of it was going to be the two of them locked behind his bedroom door, having to stay there together until morning, both of them knowing that the other couple in the apartment thought they were having sex.
Why did humans do this to each other?
"Uh, yeah. Sounds like a breeze. Should I, should I dress up or anything?"
Sarah straightened up and pulled her chin back, looking up at him through her eyelashes. "Dress up? Like a...costume?"
His eyes widened and she realized that no, that wasn't what he meant. Oh God, she needed to get them both out of this situation. Stat. "No, no! No, not—What? Jesus, Sarah, no. Like role play? I'm not—No. I just meant like...formal wear. Should I look nice?"
"No! I'm just sleeping over. This isn't a black tie event."
"I'll just see you later; how's that?"
"That seems like a good idea," she said through a wince.
Chuck pat the table with an awkward, "okay", and got up, walking away from her with a quick wave. She waved back lamely, then pressed her fingers against her mouth and sighed, her eyes flickering shut.
That certainly went well.
So well.
}o{
The rest of the day went by way too quickly. And after she'd left the Wienerlicious, she'd thought about checking with Chuck about the time again, but they'd already said what time, she was sure he knew, and honestly, she just needed to give them both space before this...mission.
A mission she'd spent almost an hour at a lingerie shop preparing for. It wasn't anything she'd seen fit to go through the CIA for, like she had for the soufflé. And a few other things. If Graham saw that bill...Well, it just wasn't necessary for them to be a part of this.
It was her mission. She was a good agent and was more than capable of getting missions done her own way, without guidance. She had it in the bag.
And so she'd bought something for the night that would make it clear she was seducing Chuck. Clear to Chuck's sister and the nosey boyfriend who insisted he was teasing even though he brought it up over and over. And over. And over.
She was wearing it under her coat now as she sat in her car, staring straight ahead as she turned it off and swallowed thickly. She checked her watch and saw she was seven minutes early. She didn't want to just sit in the car for seven minutes in this damn purpleish lingerie with the see-through slip she'd liked so much when she looked at herself in the mirror wearing it. She felt ridiculous now. So stupid. And the more she sat here, the stupider she felt. She should've just worn some damn jeans and a blouse, for God's sake. Why had she done this to herself? To both of them?
So Agent Walker got out of the car and fixed her coat, tightening the knot keeping it shut and locking her car before clicking along the pavement in her heels, onto the sidewalk, and over to the entrance into the courtyard. Her shoes sounded foolish against the ground, so loud and gaudy. She felt foolish and campy.
And she'd spent extra time on her makeup, painstakingly putting flirty curls in her long blond hair. Specifically flirty curls.
She stopped at the door and composed herself. Then she glanced over her shoulder towards Casey's apartment. He was in there, knowing exactly what was going to happen tonight, probably snickering about it, too. Damn it. He knew as well as she did that it was going to be awkward and uncomfortable...for both of them, but mostly for Chuck probably.
She'd pretended a lot of things with partners before, but this wasn't Chuck's life. And this had to be...a lot. Especially after the talks they'd had and her awareness of his extra feelings he had for her. She wasn't even gonna pretend that wasn't a thing.
Sarah took a deep breath, stole herself, and knocked. And the moment Ellie opened the door and gaped at her, she thought maybe she was coming to a bit of a realization. Maybe the extra trip to the mall to slip into a lingerie shop, the makeup and hair, wasn't just about maintaining a cover, selling the idea that she was a girl showing up to seduce her boyfriend. Maybe she wanted to know how a guy like Chuck would react to said girl—even if she was just a cover girlfriend—dressed in a see-through shift that revealed lacy lingerie underneath. No, it wasn't just the reaction from a guy like Chuck she was interested in; she was interested in how Chuck himself would react.
She felt like a tool now as she smiled a bit shyly at Chuck's sister.
"Hi, Ellie." She gave a little wave. In spite of the coat she wore, a lot of leg was exposed beneath the hem and she tugged it down ineffectively.
"Sarah, hi!" The other woman went in and hugged her tightly. "Hellooooo! Wow, you look like a cabaret dancer," she breathed as she pulled out of the hug, hands still on Sarah's shoulders.
"Wow, I...do?" Cabaret? What the fuck? How did she respond to that?
"Sorry, that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing, I promise. They just have really nice, long legs. I'm really envious of your legs."
Sarah gaped. "Oh. Yeah? Well, thanks. Just, uh, a little jogging in the mornings. I guess."
"You're here to see Chuck, though. You're here to see Chuck so I'm gonna just...let you go in there and do that. I mean, not do that. But just…" She made her hands into fists and let out a sound Sarah could not decipher for the life of her. "Don't mind me. I'm happy. Take those legs down that hallway to my brother."
The younger woman stared, mouth agape. "Uh...So I take it...Chuck's in his bedroom."
"Yep." Ellie hugged herself with both arms and gave her a closed mouth smile.
"Okay. Um...have a good night. Nice to...see you, Ellie."
"Yep!"
She felt Ellie walking with her, though, as she moved down the hallway, and she waited for the other woman to disappear into her own bedroom before she closed the rest of the distance to Chuck's door. She hoped there was nothing in the water in this apartment complex because if Chuck was also acting weird as hell like this, she'd just have to straight-up leave. Wash her hands of this insanity.
But she heard music coming through the cracked door then, and she furrowed her brow in confusion. It was smooth, silky...the epitome of mood music. That mood. And she inched around the door to look inside of the room, only to find Chuck...not dressed as anything, thank God. Instead he was just in his pajamas.
Not only had he lit candles, he had the mood music and...what in the hell was he doing?
Was it dancing? Or was he...thrusting? Or both? She wasn't even sure if she thought it was cute or not.
Putting her hand on the door, she decided to put him out of his misery sooner rather than later, and make herself known, so she stepped inside and just waited for him to turn towards her. He made little "oooo" sounds, bent his knees to do one last thrust and finally caught sight of her. He straightened up so fast he nearly fell over. "Oh. Oh, hi. Hey." His face went bright red as he smoothed a hand down his shirt. "Y-You're a little...early. Which is fine."
"Uh, Ellie...let me in." She really, really did. And then she did...Sarah didn't know what in the hell his sister did after that. Hallucinogens? She stepped further inside and shut the door behind her. Chuck was just frozen, looking mortified. "Wow, Chuck, the, uh...candles and the music? Pretty good touch."
He cleared his throat and gestured to everything around him. "I—Uh, full disclosure, I had to move a whole lot of comics to make sure I didn't burn the place down." She smirked and he made a face like he regretted saying that. "If this were a, um, real thing, that'd probably be something I shouldn't say. Not really a mood builder, is it?"
She let out an amused huff and crossed her arms at her chest. "Depending on the girl…? But, uh, I can't say either way."
"Right, right. Of course not. 'Cause this isn't...a real thing. But, um, but did the first part—the first part went okay. Ellie saw you and um…" His eyes fastened on her coat, then slowly traversed her long legs down to the heels. He blinked once, then looked away, scratching his temple, turning and pretending to scan through his iPod. "I take it she sort of got an idea about...why you're here."
She wondered if she should go into detail. And then she decided that no...no, she shouldn't. "Uh, pretty sure she figured it out. Yep."
"Oh, good. Good. Super awkward and embarrassing but good. For the cover."
"Right."
"Which is why you're here."
"Yes."
"In my bedroom. Dressed like—Did you-Did you curl your hair? It, uh, it looks really pretty...like that." He swallowed thickly.
"Uh, yeah. It's kind of a special occasion so I thought the flirty curls would be an nice touch."
"Cool! Yeah. Makes sense. I'd totally be into that. I mean, if you were really my girlfriend. What I mean to say, if you were a girl actually coming here to your real boyfriend's bedroom trying to, uh, you know. This is perfect." He gestured to his bed and that somehow made things all the more uncomfortable.
She was supposed to climb into that and sleep now? After he pointed at his bed while hinting at sex? And he'd be sleeping right there next to her. This really wasn't supposed to be so difficult. And she thought it wouldn't be if she were here with literally anyone else.
"Yeah. Got it. Thanks. I thought it was a good idea. Sells the idea that's why I'm here...to your sister and her boyfriend."
"Brilliant."
"And then tomorrow, we're all set."
"Yep!" He changed the song and then clapped his hands together. "I also figured, you know, the music is sort of a way to...Well, I mean, sometimes you can hear through the walls. Not that they'd hear anything or even be listening for…" He made a traumatized face. "I'm just saying, like, the...music sort of covers up...anything. Everything."
"No, that's a good idea." She twisted her lips to the side.
"Okay, hold on. Let's reel it back, here." He let out a frustrated huff and shook his head. "This is fine, right? We're both fine."
"I think so," she said with a nod, shrugging as she crossed her arms.
"Yeah! We're in here now, the door's shut. We can do whatever we want and nobody would know." He thrust his hands out, palms up, and made a duh face. She knew how he'd wanted that to sound—it was perfectly innocent—but she heard it another way. And she cursed her damn brain for it. He was right. They really could do...anything they wanted. Especially if she used that keyword and Casey killed the feed.
That wasn't going to happen. Not just because she wouldn't do that, but she had a feeling that in spite of the crush of sorts he'd developed, he had an intrinsic awareness about this whole situation, about her, about her and him, that sometimes left her unsettled. But right now, she just sort of admired him for it. He wouldn't take this kind of opportunity.
"So...video games again?" she teased.
Chuck wasn't in the right mindset for teasing, she realized, because he shook his head, taking her seriously. "Nah, I think they'd be too loud. They'd hear some guy getting blasted and they'd realize we were gaming instead of...other stuff."
Sarah snorted. "I was mostly joking." He looked embarrassed as he nodded. "But what the hell is this, anyway? A couple of adults, two professionals, and we haven't been able to use the word 'sex' this whole time."
Chuck blanched. Then he let out a nervous chuckle. "You just did." She shrugged in agreement. "And whaddya mean 'two professionals'? You're the pro. I'm not. This whole thing is way outta my wheelhouse, ya know?"
Leaning against his desk with a wince, she tucked some hair behind her ear. "Yeah, I know. Sorry. I was teasing again. I know this is really uncomfortable, and not something you've ever had to do."
He nodded and crossed to the bed, pulling the sheets down and crawling under them. "It really isn't. But, uh…" He stopped then and cleared his throat. "I was gonna ask—But then I've learned my lesson since the first time I was kind of disrespectful with my questioning. So I'm just gonna...zzzzip."
She narrowed her eyes dubiously. "You can't just say that and expect me not to wanna know what you were gonna ask."
Chuck winced. "No, really. It isn't appropriate. And it's kind of...It's just not right, that's all. Really."
"Ask me. I won't get mad."
With a groan, he scratched his shoulder in discomfort. "Fine. I guess I thought for a split second to ask you if this is something you've had to do before." He made like he was bracing himself for her ire.
It did sting just a little bit, but she didn't blame him. He'd stopped himself from asking it and she'd made him anyway. She shook her head. "Not this exactly, no. And definitely not with a guy as trustworthy as you are." Her eyes widened but she caught herself and covered it up with her spy mask. "It wasn't about...sex, though. Just, you know, the usual husband and wife on a mission routine."
"Ah. Gotcha. Yeah, I'm sure this is probably the weirdest thing you've had to do for a mission." He reached over and grabbed a small remote, pointing it at his speakers and turning the music off altogether. It made her smile inwardly. He was sort of cute, she could at least admit it to herself. Going through all that effort to set up music and then turning it off just like that.
"Um. I can't say," she murmured.
"Oh. Sure, you've probably been on a million epic missions and assignments and couldn't remember all of 'em. That makes total sense."
It wasn't that at all, but she didn't much feel like telling Chuck she just really couldn't tell him about past missions and assignments. They were top secret. And she wasn't about to entrust that information with anyone. She didn't want to hurt his feelings tonight. Or really...ever.
"It doesn't matter," he said, stretching out a hand towards her, almost placating. "We're here now anyway, the two of us, having to make the best of this. I mean, or not make the best of it. Though it isn't like we're making the worst of it, either. We're not doing anything at all, more like it. And what the hell am I even saying?"
Sarah giggled. "Maybe it'll just be easier if we get in bed and...fall asleep or something. It's late enough," she said with a shrug.
"That works. Uh, if you want to, you can get changed in the bathroom," he said, lying back against his pillows with a comfortable sigh.
"No, that's okay. I just came wearing the thing I'm sleeping in because changing in the bathroom doesn't really work for the storyline we're trying to sell here." She untied the coat and pulled it off of her shoulders, secretly peeking through her eyelashes at Chuck as he slowly turned his head in curiosity.
The curiosity crumbled as he looked like he'd just swallowed his tongue and pushed himself up to lean on his elbows. "What?! You—I didn't—You said no dressing up."
"This isn't dressing up," she said with a shrug, and maybe she liked the way his gaze took in every last inch of her before darting up to her face extra fast. His pupils almost seemed to quiver as if he was willing them not to stray back to her body that was on near full display for him. "It's for the cover."
"Well, it doesn't cover a thing."
She bit back a smirk. "If I showed up in sweats and put no effort into this thing, their brains wouldn't go to sex the way Ellie's did when I showed up like this. I mean, that didn't sound right, but you get what I mean."
"Y-Yeah, I do. But I'm…"
Chuck didn't seem to know what he was trying to say and the words stopped altogether when she approached the bed to get in with him.
"If Ellie or Awesome were to walk in for whatever reason, this is exactly what a girlfriend would wear to seduce her boyfriend. Especially if it's our first time." She picked up the covers and climbed in.
"Yeah...I-I guess so." He huffed. "But I dunno, I've seen a lot of sexy get-ups and they don't all have so much...uncovered." There was a pause. "I mean, not in real life. In catalogs mostly."
Sarah bit her lip and laid back against the pillows, blinking at the ceiling. She felt a smile threaten. "Look at a lot of those catalogs growin' up, Chuck?"
"Shut up! Not any more than any other healthy, straight teenage boy, okay?" She heard amusement in his tone though, and then he outright chuckled, readjusting his position. It shook the mattress a little beneath her and for some reason, that made her squirm a bit in discomfort, even if this was one of the most comfortable beds she'd ever been in. Her bed at Maison23 felt like a cloud and it was almost...too perfect. Life in the CIA had meant a lot of sleeping on floors, on the ground outside, on rooftops, in planes and cars. Chuck's mattress was nice and sleeped in, not like an untouched cloud, but just...cozy. She sank into it perfectly.
And she supposed thoughts about how comfortable his bed was were better than her previous thoughts about how close his warmth was to her under the covers. Shit, she was thinking about it again now.
"Listen, I'm just being professional. Preparing for anything. I really wanted to make sure we sell this."
"All right, all right," he said, holding his hands up in surrender, and he turned his head to look at her. "I relent. It's good for the cover."
"Anyway, what does it matter? I'm all covered up now and all you can see are my shoulders."
Chuck sat up a bit and looked down at her. "And your face, which, to be honest, is enough. Especially with the, uh, what'd you call 'em? Flirty curls?"
"Shut up," she giggled swatting his shoulder. She didn't realize how much he was setting her at ease by getting into the teasing now that he'd settled into this situation a bit more.
"Which leads me to ask this question…"
"I'd rather you not."
"No, no. Hear me out." He held up a finger. "What exactly constitutes, quote, flirty curls, unquote? Like, my hair is always like this." Chuck picked at one of his curls and gave it a tug. She watched a bit fondly as it spring back against his head. "Are these flirty? Or is there something special about a curl that makes it flirt?"
Sarah laughed, shaking her head, but before she could chastise him for being an idiot, they heard Ellie's raised voice coming from the other bedroom in the apartment.
"—And what's up with the porno shorts? Huh?" she heard Ellie ask. That was...interesting. "I mean clearly Mrs. Heditsian likes to enjoy all the hills and valleys, but really? Really? They leave, like, nothing to the imagination!"
Wow, what was going on over there? She turned and exchanged a look with Chuck. He just looked confused, and maybe a little embarrassed to boot. "I told you the walls were kinda thin sometimes," he murmured.
"And then there's that! 'Awesome.' Everything is so. freaking. AWESOME! Let me tell you something. If everything is awesome and there is no unawesome, then awesome by definition is just MEDIOCRE!"
"She has a point," Sarah whispered, mostly to herself, but she had a feeling Chuck heard.
"What the hell is going on?" Chuck asked, propping himself up on his elbows.
"And when was the last time you did something nice for me? Just bought me something for no reason just because it's a Monday?!"
As she heard Devon tell Ellie to calm down, she winced and turned to prop herself up on her elbows. "Hey, well...the good news about this not being real is, um, no conversations like that, right?" She bared her teeth in a bit of a wince.
"Mm." He plopped back down and stared at his ceiling, a bit of melancholy coming across his face. "And it's not looking super...likely...I'm gonna have to worry about having arguments like that with a girlfriend anytime soon. If eeever," he drawled, a tinge of bitterness to the teasing look on his face.
She just watched him for a long moment, and then she pursed her lips. "You okay? Is there anything you wanna talk about?"
He shut his eyes for a moment, and when he reopened them, he turned to face her better and folded his arm under his head. She propped her own head up on her hand and looked down at him. "Are there—Are there, like, rules? To this? I-I mean our...thing. The cover."
"What do you mean?"
She was afraid of where this conversation was going. She thought she knew what he meant.
"Well, like, hypothetically speaking...are either of us allowed to see...other people?"
Sarah chewed on her lip. "Um…"
"No. You don't have to answer because I know. I can tell by the look on your face. It'd be hard to pull off something like that anyway, since it could potentially undermine our cover as boyfriend/girlfriend." He sighed. "I was just curious I guess."
"Because of that girl Lou?" Sarah sort of hated herself for asking that question. "I mean, you said 'hypothetically', but you're talking about her, aren't you?" She forced herself to smile a little at him.
But he scoffed and shook his head. "Listen, in another life, some other timeline in which I don't have a super computer filled with government secrets crammed into my brain, maybe that might be a possibility. And even under normal circumstances, it's still a maybe. She brought me a sandwich but, like, in no way, shape, or form was that thing a done deal. I've learned that the hard way too many times."
Sarah made a face. "You really don't get women if you think she wasn't into you."
"I mean, I'm not denying that." He chuckled. She just stared at him for a while, then, until he squirmed a bit under her penetrating gaze. "Look, I asked that question just out of curiosity, not because I'm thinking about...that. With her, I mean."
"This isn't exactly the easiest situation you're in, Chuck. It's unfair and shitty. You're not immune to...thinking about things like this. I get it." She winced. "It isn't exactly viable...just yet. But you can't just shut that part of yourself off." She knew that firsthand, a lot more often lately. Like...maybe right now. For instance.
He sighed and pushed himself up onto his elbow so that he was face to face with her. In fact, his sudden movement brought his face way too close to hers, but she was willing herself not to let it bother her. "No, Sarah. I mean it. Lou the Sandwich Girl is not...She's just not. Because I need to start realizing that while maybe—someday—I'll get my life back to what it was before, you know, with some semblance of normalcy, well, I just don't think I can act like any of this is normal. I can't act like my life is the way it was before. Because it isn't. It can't be. Not with the Intersect, and you, Casey, Graham and Beckman. Everything else. I need to try to come to terms with that. And that means that...well, thinking a girl is kinda cute can't be something that I pursue. Even if I wanted to. It'd be unfair on every level."
She couldn't help asking. "Even if you wanted to?"
"You read that right. I don't want to." He shook his head. No, she hadn't really read him right at all. Because she thought that maybe...he might want to at least try to go on a date with Lou. He'd seemed at least somewhat interested. There'd been something there between the two of them when she'd walked up the other day.
"Because of the Intersect…" she guessed.
"I dunno. Maybe!" He thrust a hand out. "Bryce sent me the Intersect and it dragged me into this new life of danger and tiptoeing and lies. I didn't get a choice in the matter. He put a target on my back, Sarah. And I like Lou. She seems nice. She deserves better than having a target on her back. And anybody connected with me gets one of those fucking targets on their backs. I'm not dragging anyone into this who isn't already in. Awesome, Morgan...Ellie—they're in without knowing it. Because they're the people I love. And it just feels wrong to pull someone else in when there's, what, a hint of minor flirtation there? I just can't do that."
Sarah sank a bit more into the mattress, or maybe she was melting without realizing that was what it was. But not for the first time, she found herself wondering how someone like this could be real. "Those are superhero levels of altruism there, Chuck."
He chuckled and grinned at her. "You really know what to say to a guy. And nah. It's not really altruism. If I'm bein' honest. Like I said, my life isn't normal and I can't pretend it is. Lou seems really nice, chill...normal. When I'm surrounded by CIA and NSA crap, getting shot at and thrown off of balconies, in car chases...the idea of sitting down and eating a sandwich with a nice, pretty girl seems like Heaven." She was smiling at him in spite of herself. "But I can't have that right now. And what's more, there's not enough there for me to go through all this trouble—endangering the cover that's potentially protecting me from terrorists or assassins or whatever, sneaking around, lying to yet another person, disappearing and reappearing because the government needs the Intersect. It's so much work and I just...don't like her that much. Sounds mean," he said, wincing, "I don't want it to sound mean. I don't mean it that way. It's just the truth. I don't like her enough for all this. And I'd rather stop that whole thing before it has the potential to begin. She thinks I'm dating a beautiful girl I'm head over heels for...and I'm gonna let her keep thinking that. She can make her sandwiches and date some other dude who doesn't have the Intersect in his brain. She deserves better than...this mess." He shrugged. "Everybody deserves better than this mess."
Sarah smiled quietly at his breathy laugh, the way he plopped back down onto the pillows, his arms folded under his head. And then she realized Casey had been listening to this whole thing. "Bullshit," she said. And she waited a few moments to give the NSA agent time to kill the feed. Chuck gave her a weird look and she widened her eyes a bit. "Um, I mean...bullshit that you have to...make a decision like that. Normal people get to go on dates with someone they've just flirted with a little. You know...just to see what's there, if there can be something there."
"Oh. Yeah. True. That's just not what my life is right now. And I'm not gonna say it's okay, because it isn't. But I'm...surviving. I just think it's best that I keep my numbers of people who I'm close to at...well...this. What it is now. Ellie, Awesome, Morgan, you and Casey." She blinked at the way he'd just included her and Casey. "The people I love could get hurt, so I'm not adding anybody else. Not even someone I could flirt with over a sub when things in this Spy World are gettin' too...overwhelming."
Sarah nodded. "Well, for the record, I think you're doing the right thing. For her at the very least. I probably shouldn't tell you all of this, but if by chance my superiors hadn't decided to make me your cover girlfriend and you were free to date, before you go out on a date with anyone, said prospective date would have to endure a rigorous vetting process to determine her motivation."
He spun to regard her, a bit of an offended look on his face. "Wouldn't her motivation be that she's attracted to me?"
"Yeah, of course," she said, grinning a little at how cute that just was. "Ideally. But you also have to remember how important you are. The intelligence you have in your brain is incredibly precious to the safety and future of this country—maybe even the world. Anyone who gets...close to you...well, we have to handle that situation with great care."
Chuck huffed in frustration and looked upset again. "Man, that sucks! I mean, I guess it doesn't matter now since you're my girlfriend—cover girlfriend. But how freaking shitty."
"I'm not disagreeing."
"I mean, is this how you top secret agents feel?" She wasn't prepared for him to ask that, and she found herself gaping a little at him. But without looking at her, without making her search for some way to answer that, he reached out and wrapped his fingers around her wrist. "You don't have to answer that. Sorry. It's none of my business. It just flew outta my mouth 'cause I'm frustrated."
He climbed out from under the covers and let go of her, sitting on the edge of his bed, his back to her. "It's like I said, I need to just figure out a way to come to terms with my life not being normal for the time being, stop reaching for normal where I can get it, just...go through the motions. The federal government telling me what to do motions."
Sarah crawled up to her knees and followed him to the edge of the bed, unfolding her legs and plopping down next to him. "You've got me and Casey still. Especially me. I don't think Casey would wear something like this for you."
That made him snort. "I've already got a shit ton of disturbing images in my head from the Intersect. Didja hafta add one more? I mean that's the worst one yet."
She laughed, and suddenly the door burst open behind them.
"I have known him since the day he was born obviously," Ellie blurted, just walking right on in and going straight for the bed. Devon looked incredibly apologetic and, frankly, confused as he followed her in, almost as if to try to pull her back out again.
Sarah turned and gave Chuck a look as Ellie crawled up right between them and draped her arms over both of their shoulders. "When people would ask him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would always say the same thing. 'A big boy.' HOW CUTE IS THAT?!"
Admittedly, it was really freaking cute, and in spite of how crazy his sister was being, Sarah couldn't help sending a significant look in Chuck's direction.
"Ellie, you're killing me here," Chuck sang through his teeth, still trying to play up the cover. Or maybe he was legitimately embarrassed.
"And now he is a big boy," Ellie continued as though he hadn't said anything. She even reached up to grab onto his cheek, pinching it hard. He made a face and let out an affronted, "ow!", rubbing his cheek. "And I can tell that he is because he is with a big girl!" She turned to Sarah. "A big mature girl with great legs that belong at a cabaret and not some Wiener shop."
Chuck's jaw fell open and all Sarah could really do was blink at him.
"Sorry, guys. Don't mean to muck up your mojo. Tried to stop her," Devon said, coming closer to the bed, concern in his face now.
"Is she drunk?" Chuck asked. Sarah glanced over her shoulder to see Devon shrug in confusion.
Then Ellie spun on Chuck and narrowed her eyes. For a moment, she wondered if she should do something to protect him. She wasn't sure what in the hell his sister had going on. "Chuck, you need a haircut. It's starting to make funny animal shapes."
Chuck frowned, looking a little offended at that.
Devon stepped in. "Let's go, babe. These two need their privacy, huh?"
But Ellie shrugged her boyfriend's grip off of her and he stood up, wincing, not really knowing what to do in this situation apparently. He wasn't alone. "When you were seven, I told you that a burglar stole the money from your piggy bank. That was a lie. It was me. At the time, I felt it was very important for me to have a New Kids fanny pack."
Chuck furrowed his brow and stared straight ahead. But the rapidity at which she was talking now made Sarah think something was very wrong...Ellie couldn't just be drunk. She'd witnessed tipsy Ellie Bartowski at least once and it was nothing like this.
"Ellie, are you okay?" she asked, and the woman spun and looked at her with that narrowed-eyed look, as if she really wasn't paying attention. Her eyes didn't look right. The pupils were dilated. Oh God… "Have you done anything...out of the ordinary?"
Ellie looked to be concentrating for a moment, thinking about it. But then she sucked in a bit of air through her lips and narrowed her eyes again. "Words taste like peaches."
"Okaaaay!" Devon belted. "We're gonna go now and let you kids get back to doin' whatever it is you're doin'!" He grabbed Ellie by her arms and pulled her away from them, helping her climb off the bed and stand next to him. "Have fun, all right?"
Sarah had a terrible feeling as they left the room, and she could tell Chuck was concerned, too. She climbed to her feet and followed the couple down the hallway as the doorbell sounded. What in the hell was going on? And who was that?
She didn't bring a weapon with her, it was in her coat in Chuck's bedroom. Shit…
Devon made Ellie sit on the couch and he went to the door, opening it. Casey was there, holding a carton of milk. "Hey, sorry to bother you folks. Can you spare some milk? All out," he rushed, shaking the empty carton back and forth.
"Moo juice, comin' right up!" Devon said, pointing and leaving the door open for Casey to come in. He went to the kitchen as Casey stepped inside.
"Casey, what are you doin' here?" Chuck hissed.
"Getting some cross-talk," the NSA agent muttered, and she saw he'd inserted a bug finder in the milk carton he'd brought with him. He followed the blip in his feed further into the room as what he said dawned on her. "Heard Ellie acting weird and I changed channels to her room." He gave Sarah a look that she knew he had gotten the word.
"Why?" she snapped. "What from?"
Who in the hell had bugs in this place besides what they'd put here themselves?
Casey stopped in front of Ellie and looked up at her with wide eyes. She just snorted at him and shook her head. "Those pajamas make you look like Dennis the Menace's father."
She let out a woozy chuckle, and just like that, she went limp, falling to the side and landing facedown into the couch. Casey moved the carton closer to Ellie and it beeped faster. There was a bug...on Ellie. This was worse than anything...
"Ellie." Chuck dove to his knees next to her and grabbed her hand, shaking her a little. "Ellie, Ellie! Hey, El…"
Casey reached out and carefully pushed the hair from her neck. Sarah saw the slight discoloration there… She knew. Her heart was pounding, and she felt herself break out into a cold sweat as she carefully reached down and pulled the bug out from behind Ellie's ear.
"Welp! She was poisoned," Casey said, matter-of-factly.
Sarah immediately turned to look down at Chuck. His face went pale, terror in his eyes. And her heart seized in her chest.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review! Next chapter soon!
-SC and DC