Chapter 57: Ruth's Choice

Ruth's mind has stopped. She had tears in her eyes. She re-reads the letter once more before beginning to cry. Tears had been a common feature on her aging face the past little while, so this was nothing new, but this time the tears were of confusion, not grief.

Her daughter had finally been found, or rather gotten in contact with her and demanded that Ruth gives up everything she knew for her to be a part of her daughter's life. Not only that, but she was engaged to that third-class boy…something Dawson and she was pregnant with his child…

Ruth's mind was overwhelmed with questions. Why was her daughter doing this? Didn't she care at all about the family name? Who were these friends that she was staying with? How had Mr. Dawson survived? Is what she said about Caledon true?

Ruth takes out a handkerchief and dabs her eyes, pulling herself together a bit. She was so confused and so distraught that she wanted to go home and think. She also wanted to find her daughter and hug her again. Rose had been missing over a month and a half and Ruth missed her little girl. Although they never got along that well, Rose was too much like her father, hot-headed and passionate; it was one of the reasons that she pushed Rose into the marriage with Caledon. All Ruth wanted was for her daughter to take care of and their lives would go on undisturbed. It had been sad when her husband passed on, but it only seemed to be getting worse afterward. If Mr. Hockley had not come along, Ruth would've surely died on the street of stress and grief and Rose would be forced into a life of scandal and most likely prostitution. No mother ever wanted that for her child. She knew Mr. Hockley offered the safety they needed and Rose would live a prosperous life…but now she pondered what Rose's letter said about her wanting to end her life and her foolish pursuit of a lower-class man that almost got her killed. And then she selfishly ran away weeks before the wedding with the same man and was living in this big city with strange friends and causing her a lot of grief and worry. Ruth's health had taken a nose dive and she had to go see a doctor, plus the news of Rose running away could not be hidden for long. The whole Philadelphia society was in an uproar, causing scandal and the smearing of their already precarious name. One of the reasons Ruth was hiding in New York was to avoid the scandal and find her daughter… She had faith that the private investigator could bring Rose home where she belonged, but now it was clear, she didn't want to, not ever. She was living a new life without her mother.

And even through everything that Rose had done to cause Ruth grief, she was still her daughter and every mother loved her child unconditionally and missed her when she was gone. There was a hole in her heart that could only be filled by seeing Rose again.

Ruth folds the paper neatly and places it in her pocketbook as the private investigator comes back. Ruth wipes her eyes once more before turning to face the man with a cloud of smoke over his face.

"Are you alright Mrs. DeWitt Bukater?"

"I…I suppose dear sir…"

"I can tell that this is not easy for you, finding out your daughter ran away…"

"It certainly is not…" Ruth sniffs.

"My sympathies ma' me and if I can say for you, I do hope that your daughter reconnects with you. I am no parent, but I know every child should have a mother in their life…"

Ruth stares at the man for a long few moments. She had always felt uncomfortable that this man never showed his face as he smoked those cigars and kept his identity from the world around him. Perhaps it was his own disguise…or perhaps it was a shield to hide from the pain of others.

"How can I be sure that you are sincere, I can't see your face and clearly all you would care about is the money you get," Ruth blurts out. She immediately regrets her choice. She was so overwhelmed by her situation that this man offering her sympathy when it was he didn't have any made her quite upset. She was acting like Rose. "I'm terribly sorry sir, that just slipped out."

The private investigator says nothing for a long moment. He peers through the smoke at this woman. By her statement alone, the man could tell that this woman was indeed like her daughter, just heavily suppressed inside of herself. Wanting to express her opinions when something upset her, and yet too polite to admit it. The man had learned a lot through his investigation and even though these two women were so different, wanting different things and walking on opposite sides of the train tracks, they did love each other.

The PI finishes the cigar in his mouth and then dabs it on a nearby ashtray as he had several strewn about his office. His hand hovers over his pocket for a moment, thinking about lighting another one, but as he considers this, he looks into the mother's tired green eyes… he hesitates. The smoke slowly dissipates from around his head and in the afternoon sun streaming through his blinds, Ruth DeWitt Bukater sees the man's face for the first time.

He's a tall man, with stubble around his very square jaw. He had bags under his soft blue eyes that had seen many sad things in his life and wrinkles indicating his aging face. His brow crinkles in the moment of stillness and his white blonde hair leans in with his expression. His entire face then moves to form a rather soft and sympathetic look. A look he often hid in his cloud of protection.

Ruth drinks in the face and found it so unusual. She had not pictured that this was the man behind the mask. She had expected a rough man, perhaps squinting a lot with a full beard and a grim and greasy face. The man in front of her was gentle and had a slight tinge of youthful curiosity in his expression. It had certainly taken her by surprise. He looked almost like her late husband, strong and yet gentle, it made her heart pound loudly in her ears for a few moment.

The two continued to stare at one another as the minutes ticked by slowly. Their connection grew deeper, one of perhaps understanding, but also of mutual respect. Ruth could now see that the man did have sympathy for and he was doing his best to comfort her by taking away the cloud of smoke.

"Is this better Mrs. Bukater?" he asks quietly.

Ruth opens her mouth to speak and then shuts it. She clears her throat and puts away her handkerchief.

"Y-Yes sir, thank you."

The private investigator says nothing more before going to his desk and pulling out a piece of paper and his fountain pen.

"How it goes from here is entirely up to you. If you would like to get in touch with your daughter, simply telegram me or give me a call. I will give you my home number in case you ever need me for something else. Do not worry about the money, I will bill Mr. Hockley, but if you do decide to close this case, it is by your authority and your authority only…" the man says.

He hands over the information and then gives the mother a sympathetic smile.

"I cannot pretend that I know what you are going through Mrs. Bukater, but I can say that you're are some of the lucky few of my clients that may have a happy ending to their story…" he reaches his hand out to offer her a goodbye handshake.

Ruth reluctantly lifts her gloved hand and accepts the man's offer.

"I wish you all the luck in the world," he says.

"T-thank you," Ruth whispers. She gets up to leave but she pauses at the door.

"Might I ask for your name?" she says softly.

"Henry, Henry Calvert."

…

Ruth flags a taxi home and goes into the apartment. Sally is there to greet her and politely asks how it went. Ruth merely gives a subtle nod before going out to the balcony to be alone.

Ruth sits in the same chair she had convened in many times over the past few weeks. In this chair, she had pondered where her daughter might be and all the worst-case scenarios had run through her head, but this time as she sat and watched the sun set behind the city's buildings she had many more things to ponder.

Ruth took out the letter again and read it several more times. The tears came back and Ruth thought all about her daughter. How selfish she was being…if at all. Had she ever thought of the consequences and how this would affect her own mother?

This question suddenly made Ruth think about her late husband, how he had been so determined and passionate in everything that he did. He hardly ever thought of the consequences of what he did and yet… it made him endearing to her. He was unpredictable at times, perhaps even a little stupid and still, it entertained her, it's what kept her amused on those nights when they were alone together. His willingness to crack a few jokes or fold a swan out of a fancy cloth napkin, just to push her buttons. He usually only got a rise from Ruth, but it amused her to no end after she was alone… Also, the loving connection he had with Rose, something she had longed for and dare she admit it, jealous of. Rose certainly was her father's child, she wanted to explore and see new things and she also knew how to push Ruth over the edge and still… Ruth enjoyed it on some level if she looked deep inside herself. Rose always wanted to be independent, just like her father had been when he ran his own company. Even though it left them with debts, he had the strength and perseverance to carry on and if Ruth thought hard, the collapse of his company might have been what killed him in the end. The stress and the grief of losing his life's ambition took the spark he had that drew Ruth to him like a moth to a flame. In those final moments, as Ruth sat next to him, she saw the shine slowly extinguish from his eyes before he shut them and breathed his final breath. Ruth felt like she had died after that and all she had left of him was his hot-headed little girl.

Except, Rose wasn't a little girl anymore. She was a woman and like her father, she was taking control of her own life. She was engaged to a man who must have some sort of spark that drew her to him and she was living with people who made her happy. If Ruth was honest with herself, she was relieved that Rose was not a prostitute on the street or being held captive somewhere, she was with people that she loved… Ruth feels anger inside her, but more jealous anger rather than rage. A mother should be able to make her daughter feel happy and loved.

Ruth read over Rose's conditions several more times. The last few could be difficult for her, but much easier than the first request. To leave Caledon and the wealth he would provide was almost unthinkable and Ruth was still not convinced that the man was dangerous. He was offering to give Rose everything she ever wanted. He had treated them to the trip on Titanic, despite how it turned out, he was paying for their mansion in Philadelphia and most of the wedding. He was heading the search for Rose, was a respected member of society and the perfect husband for her daughter. How could Rose possibly say such things about this man…?

The door behind her slams loudly. Ruth jumps in her seat. She slowly turns to see Caledon looking very angry and tired. She was about to get up and greet him when the man suddenly yells out for his manservant, so loudly that he most surely would wake the neighbors. The manservant comes and brings Caledon a bottle of whiskey and a glass and ordered the man to fetch the paper. Cal tosses his coat to the floor and puts his feet up on the desk. He orders Sally into the room and tells her very rudely to pour him a glass. Sally is rather startled and quite frightened by Mr. Hockley's display as was Ruth. Sally's hand shakes as she attempts to pour him a drink, but she ends up spilling some on his suit. This sends Cal into a vicious tantrum. He picks up the glass and tosses it against the wall. He shouts obscenities at the maid, telling her this was an Italian suit and would cost more than her precious life. He then raises his hand as if he is about to strike her, but Sally shrinks away before he has the chance, going onto her knees and apologizing profusely. He orders her to clean up the mess he made, grabs the paper and the entire bottle of whiskey before storming up to his room. Ruth is utterly stunned. Her heart is beating so loudly she can hardly hear Sally crying as she cleans up the mess. She herself was crying, her sympathy went out to the maid, but it was mostly at being proven wrong

Rose was right. The man was violent… and very rude. He had little respect for anyone and only cared about himself. He didn't care how he treated women, if he got what he wanted and certainly would not be above striking anyone. Ruth feels tears in her eyes and her heart breaks out of betrayal. Mr. Hockley was their safety net and a man whom she deemed worthy of her daughter, but now it seemed he would never be worthy of anyone. He was a monster on the inside, masking it behind this cloud of wealth and a good name. He was the opposite of the private investigator and would not be a good choice for anyone.

Ruth looks down at her letter and wipes a few tears from her eyes. Now that she had seen what was the truth, despite how much she hated being proved wrong, Rose's second request would be much easier to fulfill now. She enters the apartment quietly and goes over to Sally, who is sobbing and very shaken by the ordeal.

"Sally…" Ruth says.

"Y-Yes ma 'me,"

"Please pack the bags, we're going home."