A/N: *reads reviews* How long toward Charah? Huh...aren't we kinda there? SC? BTW, find something to hold on to, because SC is determined to kill you all with a few lines in this one. I was faint from the vapors.
Disclaimer: We don't own Chuck. We don't make money from writing this story.
Sarah sat on Casey's couch watching two monitors at once. She could feel herself being watched.
"I know you've got one hundred jokes, but now is not the time for them," Sarah said, not meaning to sound harsh, but knowing she did.
"I agree," Casey replied. Sarah turned to him. "Too many damn things aren't making sense, Walker. You ever heard of tech that brings a man back from the dead? Because I killed his ass...no offense."
"I think he would take more offense to that than I would," Sarah replied. Casey shrugged, taking a sip of coffee. He brought her hers, already fixed the way she liked it. He was the absolute best partner she'd ever had if she was honest. She and Bryce were like a well oiled machine in the field, but there was the constant head butting with Bryce over field ops. Casey was an expert, but he conceded to anyone with a better plan, including Chuck.
"You ever heard of a computer going in someone's brain?" Casey had to give her that one.
"There is one person I trust in the CIA," Casey said, making Sarah grin at him. "And you don't know shit about what is going on." She tried to give him a flat look but he wasn't wrong. Casey stood there a moment, uncomfortable.
"Say it, Casey, whatever it is."
"If we screw this up tomorrow and lose Larkin, it's gonna mess that kid up."
"When you say lose…"
"If they get to him, killing him…." Casey trailed off and shrugged.
"Do you have orders to…" she trailed off, not able to finish that thought.
"No, but...it's your call, Walker."
She knew what the call should be. She knew what Bryce would do, she knew what Casey would do. If they lost Bryce, and they had a shot, to protect Chuck, they should take Bryce out. That was the mission, protect the Intersect. She looked at Chuck sitting on his bed, worry on his face. She sighed and shook her head.
"Hell, Walker," Casey mumbled.
"You knew what I'd say," Sarah said spinning toward Casey. "I'm not the only one here who's compromised."
Casey shook his head. "I won't tell if you won't." Sarah threw her head back and laughed. The past twenty-four hours had been absolute hell. She looked at the monitor where Chuck was sitting on his bed. Okay, maybe not absolute hell….
"Get some rest, Walker, you've been through it, and we both know you've got more to get through tomorrow."
}o{
Chuck was helping customers after hearing a less than encouraging speech from Big Mike. He had to get this right, or Bryce could get killed. Or Casey….or Sarah…. He couldn't think about that. He was starting to understand what Casey meant about feelings and friends in this job. For some reason it made him feel more for her. More pride, more...he wasn't going to say it. God, this SUCKED. What if Sarah went back with Bryce? That wasn't fair to her, she deserved to work with a partner she trusted, and Bryce wasn't that guy. Not that he was the jerk they both thought he was, but he had broken her trust. For her sake if she had to go back, he really hoped that they could trust each other. He wasn't going to think about anything else where they were concerned, he couldn't and not have a stomach ache.
He was directing traffic when Sarah's voice cut through his thoughts telling him they were on their way in. He looked up at the entrance and immediately saw Sarah and Bryce. It was showtime. He was gonna do this for Bryce, because Bryce, for all his bullshit, had tried to keep him safe, like a friend would. It was then Chuck saw it and he couldn't do anything to stop it. Morgan was there, standing off to the side, and it was obvious he had recognized Bryce. He walked right up to him, shocked and upset, and they interacted for a minute until Anna pulled Morgan away, thank God.
"The CIA pickup is here. Chuck do your pass," he heard in his ear.
He took off, feeling the eyes of his team on him. He studied the two men, trying to force himself to flash on them, then he realized he needed to be cool and let the flash happen naturally. Nothing. And then he realized how he had been looking at them, and gave a, "Hi, welcome to Buy More." The two CIA agents walked off, giving him a look like he was an idiot.
"Hey." Nerves were shooting through him. "Hey, hey, hey, Nothing happened. Nothing happened. There were no flashes, so the CIA guys are legit." He blew out a sigh of relief.
He looked over and saw Bryce standing by the TVs. Chuck realized he might never see Bryce again and some things needed to be said. Chuck might never get another chance if he didn't. He walked over to him.
"Excuse me, sir, can I help you?" he said to Bryce.
"Yes, thank you. These HD screens almost look like the real thing," Bryce said, glancing at Chuck.
"Yeah, they do, huh?" Chuck replied, not sure how to start this.
"You know, I didn't mean to offend you, last night...about living with your sister. Sarah told me about your team, what you've done together."
"And you're still the superspy, right?" Chuck said turning to him, smirking. Damn it, this wasn't how this was supposed to go.
"Chuck, I said your team." Chuck stared at him. "Not Sarah's or Casey's, yours. If you were just an asset, Sarah wouldn't have an eye on you like that while I was eating breakfast. By the way, did you know Casey could make such amazing eggs?"
"You should have his quiche," Chuck replied, falling back into the old back and forth they used to have.
Bryce grinned at him. "It's your team, but more importantly, me being a superspy...it's nothing." Bryce studied him a second, getting serious. "I've got one friend in this world. You've got a home and a store full of them."
Chuck was silent for a second. "You do," he said. Bryce's face was full of shock. "You have me, and you need to remember that. You also need to remember that your friend likes to make his own decisions."
"Chuck, I couldn't—"
"Save it, Buddy," he said gently, with a smile. "We don't have time for this, you gotta get out of here." Chuck extended his hand. Bryce shook it.
He let his hand go. "You know you wanna hug me," Bryce replied, smirking.
"You're pushing it," Chuck said. "So what happens now, Bryce? You just disappear all over again?"
"That's what I do well," Bryce replied. "Thanks, Chuck. For everything."
"You know where to find me. Maybe send an email every now and then, just not the ones that give me a headache."
"Chuck," he began.
"I know, I know, but Bryce, you do, you have a friend...and you're welcome."
"You do wanna hug me," Bryce repeated, the cock sure grin on his face.
"I do," Chuck replied. "But it might blow the cover."
Sarah appeared between them. "I'm taking him in, Chuck. You stay here."
"Right," he said. There was something in the way she looked at him. "Hey, stay safe."
She gave him a look, and a smile. "I will."
"Sarah, I mean it. Stay safe," he repeated. There'd been something in her tone, like she'd just automatically said the thing you say when someone tells you to stay safe. But he needed her to hear him. Really hear him.
She stared at him and started to speak. "Sarah, we gotta go," Bryce said.
She nodded, walking away, looking over her shoulder at him.
Chuck stared after her with a soft gaze, just watching her go.
Casey came up to him. "Kid—"
"I know. Stay in the store, Chuck. Don't fall for your handler, Chuck. Be a good asset, Chuck." Chuck looked at him. "I guess it's time I start trying to do all those things, right? I need to go do my job here. Let me know if they need anything." He looked at them as they left the Buy More. "Not that they will."
}o{
The first five minutes in the car were mercifully silent. She'd been expecting him to pull a Bryce and immediately try to talk her into...something. She didn't quite know what because she couldn't read him. She never really could read him. And it hadn't unsettled her until recently—since he'd come back, actually. Maybe he was going to try to make her forgive him. Because he would never just come right out and ask for forgiveness like someone without his overblown ego might do. He'd just try to talk her into it. Manipulate her into it.
But he was quiet instead. And the backseat was filled with tension through all of it.
Chuck had given her a strange look when she walked away from him to take Bryce in. She didn't understand it, but she hadn't had time to really think about it because she and Bryce climbed into the back of this car and were whisked away.
How in the hell did they get here? Her ex-partner had been dead not even a week earlier. What the fuck?
"Are we good?"
Sarah inwardly cursed at the sound of his voice. At least it wasn't some forgiveness crap. Well, it sort of was, wasn't it? She glanced over her shoulder, eyeing the cars behind them, like she'd been doing for the last five minutes. None of them seemed familiar, none of them set off warning bells. "Yeah. We're clear," she said then, turning back, hoping that was the end of that.
"No," he said seriously, and she glanced at him. "Us."
She frowned, holding his gaze for a while, too long probably. "You say 'us' like this was something big, Bryce."
He didn't seem bothered by the insinuation. Instead he shrugged. "Maybe it was, though. I mean, compared to everything else in this life, in this world, two spies finding each other the way we did? It is kinda big. Maybe it wouldn't be to...regular people. But for people like us...?"
Sighing, Sarah nodded minutely. "You might have a point there."
And even if he did have a point there, even if their relationship had been a good one...in the context of the life they both lived...it was tainted now. Spoiled.
"Come back with me."
She turned and stared at him. Was he serious? After everything he'd done, after he'd refused to trust her, after she'd thought he betrayed his country, after she'd thought he'd been killed, and with everything Chuck now had to deal with because of his actions… he was asking her to leave her mission behind and go...she didn't even know where...with him?
And, what, stand by at Langley waiting for him to be exonerated and reassigned, or perhaps even arrested? Maybe he was the one who'd end up locked away in a bunker somewhere for his actions. Or maybe he was going to be sent on some deep cover mission. And what then? Hey, Director, so I abandoned my last assignment to be with my not-boyfriend-ex-partner, can you put me on assignment with him? Thanks.
That wasn't how real life worked. That wasn't how this business worked. They wouldn't give a fuck who did or didn't want to be with this agent, or that agent, and even if love was involved for a couple in the spy game—which was surely rare anyway because nobody had time for that—the agency wouldn't jump through hoops to accommodate that. Especially not for Presumed Traitor Agent Bryce Larkin.
What was he smoking?
But more importantly…
"I have my assignment," she explained, shaking her head. And she thought that should really be the only thing she had to say.
Bryce just kept smiling at her, that knowing glint in his eyes. He was still attractive and it bothered her that she couldn't help admitting it to herself, even silently, deep down inside. "You were never good at this." She furrowed her brow in question, hearing the knowing but teasing thread in his voice. "The whole saying what you're feeling part."
Neither was he. And that was why she had sex with him in the first place. No damn feelings. No running their mouths. Just sex. She couldn't help the smirk, and she flicked her eyes over at him. "Neither of us ever really talked much."
Bryce gave her that look that he used to give her when they were alone after a mission had gone well, the one that made her gladly crawl into bed with him back then. But when he leaned in to kiss her, she lifted a hand to stop him…
And she didn't see the SUV speeding towards their car until the shiny grilles slammed through Bryce's window.
}o{
Chuck walked up to the Nerd Herd desk, lost in his thoughts. "Excuse me, can I get some service?" he heard the man in front of him ask. He raised his head and saw the man who he had seen talking to Bryce in the elevator. OH, SHIT! "You're Charles Bartowski, aren't you? We met the other day."
Chuck froze. He hoped this meant Sarah and Bryce got away. He really hoped that. "Did we? So how, how can I, uh... How can I help you?"
"I'm looking for a computer." He said with a shrug. "You might be familiar with this one, it's called the Intersect." Chuck gulped. "You don't seem to understand the situation, Charles. You think that all these witnesses are a guarantee that nothing's gonna happen to you? You couldn't be more wrong."
Chuck had to do something. Stalling seemed best. "I, I am so slammed right now. It's really busy. So I should probably get back to work."
"My team reacquired Bryce Larkin and Sarah Walker five minutes ago. I have seven trained killers stationed throughout the store. If you look over there.." Chuck did and saw Casey surrounded. "You can also see that my men have neutralized Mr. Casey. See, here's the thing, Charles. Nothing stops me from fulfilling my orders….innocents...civilians." He gave a shrug. "If you make me, I'll execute every last person in this place."
Chuck was sure he was going to die, so there was no sense in getting anyone else hurt. The past few days had been especially shitty. He and Sarah had fought a few nights ago, and he had found courage then when he thought he was going to die. He needed to summon that same courage. His only chance to save himself, Sarah, and Bryce was to cause this guy to make a mistake. He had an idea, and it was a supremely bad idea, but an idea it was.
"Wow," Chuck said as he was being moved to where the Fulcrum agent wanted him. "Did you have to go to cheesy dialogue school?"
"What do you mean?" The Fulcrum agent asked, stopping.
Chuck turned toward him. "How am I supposed to address you?"
"Tommy," he replied. Chuck shook his head and grinned. "What?" Tommy was looking around, and staring at Chuck, confused. If Chuck had to guess he was wondering why this guy was being brave?
"Every. Single. Time," he said, emphasizing each word. "You bad guys tell your plans, you give your name, you threaten, and how does it work out?" Chuck quickly raised his hands, praying they wouldn't tremble. "I know, I know, you could kill everyone in here, but let me ask you something, Tommy." Tommy leaned close. "Do you have me….or do I have you?"
Tommy looked at him for a minute, like he was considering what Chuck was saying, and then he laughed in Chuck's face.
"Chuck," Jeff yelled, running up to him in a panic. "Chuck, the registers are down. I can't get them back up. What should I do?"
"You say more than one word and I'll kill him right here," Tommy whispered.
Chuck turned to Jeff, the ultimate idea in his head. And if it didn't work, he and the Buy More would go out with a bang. "Pineapple." Jeff's eyes widened and he darted off.
"Let's go," Tommy said, pushing him. Chuck walked slowly, and then he heard the bullhorn kick on and Morgan's voice filled the Buy More.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have an emergency. I need everyone to leave the store in an orderly fashion." He paused, and then said the magic words. "Anna. Pineapple."
Bedlam hit. Chuck got away from Tommy, only to be bodily picked up and shoved under Casey's arm, promptly carried into the home theater room. Casey tossed him down, while pulling out a cellphone. "Code black. Hostiles in the Buy More. I need a containment team right away." He pressed something on the bottom of the table and the top slid back, containing a small armory.
"Are you kidding me?" Chuck asked. "Some kid could find this, or Morgan."
Casey pulled a weapon out and looked up at him. "That's why we didn't tell you the code." Chuck made a ha-ha face. "Stay down, Chuck. This is when the shooting starts." Casey looked quite excited, which would have scared the shit out of Chuck, but he had been past having the shit scared out of him ten minutes ago.
"Right... right now?" he asked, ducking for cover. Bullets began to fly and Chuck ducked under the table. He knew Casey would give him hell later for the terrified sounds he was making, but if he lived through this, he would gladly accept all mocking. The bullets quit flying and Chuck chanced peeking out from behind his safe space. They were back. Sarah and Bryce were back and had joined the fray.
They quickly took out several of the thugs and Chuck saw the two of them turn face to face, the smirks evident on both of their faces.
They looked perfect together. They looked the way two spies were supposed to look. They looked like they belonged together. They turned so that they were back to back again, and the significance wasn't lost on Chuck.
Chuck and Sarah were the cofounders of the Bryce Larkin is an Asshole club. He and Bryce had made up earlier, and Sarah obviously trusted Bryce enough to fight back to back with him. Bryce had done it, he had come back from the dead, and made up with the two people in his life that probably meant the most to him. Bryce always did get all the best girls.
In that moment, Chuck knew. He knew he wasn't enough. It was his biggest fear come true. It didn't matter about bunkers, or anything else, he would never be able to compete with Bryce Larkin.
A hand grabbed him from behind and pulled him away. " Come on, Chuck, let's go," Casey insisted.
"I'm really getting sick and tired of being pulled around by you all the time," Chuck muttered getting hauled through the door. That was when Tommy hit Casey in the face with his gun, knocking Casey out.
He heard Sarah's voice then, the determined tone of voice she always used when she was in full spy mode. "Where's Chuck?" she asked as Tommy dragged him out to the middle of the aisle.
"Over here," Tommy answered.
There was a look on Sarah's face that Chuck didn't recognize. Was it...worry? Fear? Outright anger? A mixture? "Let him go... Now," she ordered, as she and Bryce both drew their guns and pointed them at Tommy.
"Does this look like my first time?" Tommy asked.
"Isn't it somebody else's turn to be the human shield?" Chuck complained. "I mean, really."
"Shut up," Tommy ordered.
"I asked you before, Tommy, but...do you have me, or do I have you?" Tommy cocked the gun. "Okay, okay, you have me." He saw Bryce try not to smirk at him.
"Stay there, Bryce," Tommy ordered as Bryce came forward.
"You all right, Chuck?" Bryce asked.
Chuck looked at him, his eyes growing wide. "I'm peachy," he replied flatly "Does it look like I'm all right?"
"I need to ask you something," Bryce said, looking him in the eyes.
This was a little weird. "Shoot," he replied and then he thought about it. "Not you, please."
"Khi-ja? Gho-be?" Bryce asked. No way… Bryce was not asking him what he thought he was asking him. "Khi-ja? Gho-be?" he asked more forcefully.
Crap, he was. Chuck winced and braced himself. "Khi-ja."
Bryce had a sorrowful look on his face. "Sorry, Chuck," Bryce said, and he shot him in the chest. Chuck hit the ground hard. There were more sounds and he heard someone yelling, but most importantly, his chest HURT. Like a million Alien eggs hatched at once and were bursting out of his chest cavity. Then he lost consciousness altogether.
He felt someone patting his face, asking him to wake up. He coughed and tried to explain. Lord, did it HURT.
"Khi-ja... Khi-ja." Sarah's eyelids fluttered and he felt her fingers in his hair. "Yes. Yes... I am wearing a vest." He laughed a little at the absurdity of it all and coughed. "That stings a little bit," he said, pointing to his chest. Sarah helped him up. "Seriously, that is…" He finally started to catch his breath as Sarah helped him up, Bryce helping on his other side. "That is not fair to not tell someone how much a bulletproof vest still hurts."
Firemen entered the Buy More, guns drawn. "NSA! Nobody move!"
Sarah took control quickly, stepping in front of Bryce, her badge out. "Stand down, he's one of us." The NSA agents ran past as Sarah turned looking first at Chuck, and then at Bryce. Her face went completely blank then and she walked away. Chuck watched Bryce go after her, leaving him alone. He looked around the wreck of the Buy More, thinking about how symbolic it was. Just a few months ago, he had been ready to leave, to move on, and then Sarah Walker had walked into his life, turning said life upside down. She and Bryce were amazing agents, and he wasn't. It was that simple. Sarah told him she didn't think he should be an agent, but she gave him the choice.
What if Bryce hadn't gotten him kicked out of Stanford? Would he have met Agent Walker in the CIA? Could things be different between them now if they did meet? If they were put on the same time? He would never know, and that hurt more than the most likely growing welt on his chest did. He saw Bryce pulled into the home theater room by other agents, and he spotted Sarah off to the side watching. He saw the look on her face. She was torn, and while he didn't know for sure, he had to believe it was about what to do now that Bryce was alive and well. Her partner she obviously worked so well with considering what he'd seen them just do to Tommy's men.
Chuck wandered around the store for a bit, trying to get his head on straight. He wanted to kick the sign at his feet, but he reached down to pick it up instead. He found Sarah at the Nerd Herd desk, staring at the home theater room. He wondered if he shouldn't walk away for just a moment, but then he shuffled over and pulled himself up to sit the counter beside her. Casey ambled up behind him.
"What are we going to do?" he asked rhetorically. He meant about the team, he and Sarah, Bryce, but what he didn't care about was the Buy More.
"Relax, Chuck." Casey answered. "These are NSA cleaners. They'll have the Buy More back to normal in a jiffy."
He hated his life right then. He didn't want to ask the question...but he need to know. "What's happening with Bryce?"
"He's in there giving his report to General Beckman," Sarah replied. Chuck wanted to look at her, but he couldn't. Bryce came out of the room just then, wearing a tux, and headed over to the trio.
"It would appear I have a new assignment," Bryce reported, his normal trademark grin on his face.
"As a maitre d'?" Chuck asked.
"Actually, it's a consulate dinner," Bryce replied. "They want me to go after Fulcrum, on my own, off the radar."
"Sounds like heaven," Casey said in a low breathy voice that more than creeped Chuck out just a little.
"That means Bryce Larkin is dead. And he's going to stay that way this time." Bryce held his hand out to Chuck. Chuck eyed it for a moment, then gladly grabbed it, shaking it. "Good-bye, Chuck."
"This is so weird. Where you going to go? Who you going to be?"
"Sorry, not even you can know." Bryce switched his gaze to Sarah then, and stepped closer. Chuck felt his own stomach drop. "Sarah... We'll always have Omaha." Chuck saw the look on Sarah's face, her eyes widening, recognition dawning in her features, and they all watched Bryce walk away.
Sarah turned to look at them. "Will you make sure he gets home okay?" she asked Casey then, gesturing to Chuck. She winced and Chuck wondered if he'd looked like he'd just been slapped. "Sorry," she said to him then, "it's just been a day, and I need a long bath. I didn't mean to imply you were a puppy or something."
"I am questionable at being housebroken," Chuck replied. But she didn't react to his quip.
"I'll get him home, Walker," Casey said, and he looked between them for a long moment before he grunted and walked away.
"Anything I can do, Sarah?" Chuck asked her then once they were alone.
"No, I just need to decompress."
Chuck nodded. "I understand. Just...just remember what I told you on the beach: anything you need, I'm here for you, whatever it is, okay?"
She just looked at him and he couldn't read her. "Yeah, I know."
He saw her look around, and he followed her gaze. They were surrounded by agents. He decided not to offer a reassuring touch the way he knew she would do for him if the roles were reversed. "Whole lot of NSA agents in here, huh?" he asked, and she gave him a knowing smile. She nodded. "Good-bye, Sarah," he said softly.
"Bye, Chuck," she said, giving him an inquisitive look, then turning and leaving. She stopped at the door and looked over her shoulder at him. He gave a wave with his fingers, and the best smile he could muster. She waved back, and walked out of the Buy More. He looked around at how it was nearly turned upside down. What a perfect metaphor for his life.
}o{
Chuck knocked on Casey's door. He wanted to go see her, but she didn't need that. Not the pushing, if she needed him, she'd tell him. If she needed him she'd reach out...wouldn't she? Hell, it was Sarah, there was every chance she'd push him away. "Hey," Chuck said as Casey opened the door.
"Took you longer than I thought," Casey said.
"I don't know what you mean, but we do have some turkey leftovers… Actually, we have a lot of turkey left over, so I was wondering if I could interest you in some sandwiches or something."
Casey looked quite uncomfortable, which was impressive considering how uncomfortable he looked when he had opened the door. "Thanks, but work to do." He lifted the bonsai tree he had in his hand.
"She's gone, isn't she?" Chuck asked. Casey looked up at him. "That's what Omaha meant, right? I mean, it could be some weird Casablanca reference but it means something."
Casey nodded, looking like he was constipated or something. "Probably a code, where to meet." Chuck was silent. "Bryce is going deep, Chuck. No messages out. If Sarah wants to join up with him she has to do it now."
Chuck swallowed hard. "I hope he doesn't screw her over again."
Casey stared at him. "For Christ's sake, Bartowski, I'm not the person you should be talking to about this."
"So if I came in right now, you wouldn't have a bottle of Johnny Walker and two glasses out?" Casey glared at him. "Don't worry, I'm going back to my room where I'll behave and be a good Intersect." Chuck turned to leave.
"Bartowski…" Casey began and trailed off. He seemed to decide not to say it, whatever it was.
Chuck nodded and headed back to his apartment. Everyone was there eating leftovers. Morgan was talking about how great it was having it just be them this time. But Chuck didn't join in. Instead, he went over to the couch to have some peace and quiet. He pulled out his phone, and sent a text.
C: I just want to make sure you're okay with everything that happened today.
There was no response and a couple of minutes later he sent one more.
C: Whatever happens, wherever you go, you can count on me. As your friend. I'm here for you always.
He put his phone down and joined his family, the one that was there for him and had been through everything. He didn't know how he was going to explain this to them, but he'd figure out a way when the time was right.
After Morgan left and Ellie and Awesome went to bed, he did the same. He was going to sleep, he really tried to convince himself of that. He gave up, got up, got dressed, quietly moved to the front door, opened it, and nearly had a heart attack when he saw Casey standing there.
"What happened to being a good asset?" Casey asked.
"I just needed to… You know what? I'm going back to bed," Chuck replied. Forget it.
Casey clamped a hand on his shoulder and dragged him out the door. "Here are the rules. We never talk about this, EVER. ...You don't know she's gone, kid."
Chuck walked to the car, quietly. Casey glanced at him. "You don't know she's still here."
Casey didn't have an answer for him. He drove Chuck to the beach, and stayed in the car as Chuck went to their spot and sat, watching the sun rise, thinking about how different his existence had been before he met Sarah Walker, and wondering what it would be like now that she was gone.
}o{
She didn't know why she had yet to turn the lights on in her room. But the moment she stepped inside, she bypassed the lights and peeled off all of her clothes, leaving a trail of them on the way to the bathroom. She'd left her robe off as she ran a bath, afraid of maybe getting some of her blood on it. She hadn't even turned on the lights in that room, bathing in the darkness, nothing but the moonlight coming in the window providing enough light for her to see where she had to be careful washing—places with cuts and bruises from their car being side-swiped.
And after she climbed out, she put a bit of ointment on the worst ones, applied a few band-aids, and got dressed...all still in the dark.
She didn't even think about it until an hour had passed and she sat in the plush chair in the corner of the room, staring at the stripe of moonlight slicing through the dark room… but maybe she hadn't turned on the lamps in the room because it would make the room feel a little too lived in. No, it was that leaving the lights off made it feel like no one was here. And if no one was here it meant she wasn't here. If she wasn't here, and she wasn't anywhere else...well, maybe that was just like her being...nowhere at all.
Rolling her head back against the chair, she took a deep breath. She wasn't going to try to work that out.
She didn't want to work anything out.
But there was this nagging persistent voice in her head reminding her that she had a path to get away from everything complicated. She had a way to get out. Because in spite of the fact that she'd never felt anything close to love with Agent Bryce Larkin, in spite of knowing she likely never would, she knew he'd be completely fine with that. Because even if they'd butt heads on cases back then, it had still been so much easier than this.
She'd never felt any extra tugs outside of her libido on occasion. And now she was dealing with tugs from every single direction. Her mission, yes. What she'd come here to do. What she promised herself she wouldn't stop doing until it was no longer necessary. But also, just...him. Him alone, the Intersect aside. He tugged at...everything.
There would be a lot more freedom away from here. And then she didn't know what that even meant. She'd never had freedom. The only time she felt anything close to that was on that stupid beach—no video surveillance, no bugs. When it was just the two of them sitting there. She didn't even have to say anything. Sometimes it was just listening to him unload, the way things came out from between those lips of his so easily, knowing he felt completely safe and comfortable being candid with her. And maybe that realization scared the CIA agent.
There wouldn't be more freedom away from here. There'd be less. And part of her wanted to run towards that, with her tail tucked between her legs. She knew what to expect out there. And here, she was always on her toes—sometimes in a good way, but if she were honest with herself, it was mostly in a bad way. She was in the dark so often.
But it didn't matter how much of her wanted to run, how much of her wanted that easy, predictable spy life with a partner who was pretty good at sex and good enough as a partner, who didn't expect more than that from her… It didn't matter, because she wasn't going.
We'll always have Omaha…
Bryce was waiting. He was waiting for her before he left and went deep undercover. Waiting for her to join him. She knew he wouldn't wait long, so at least there was that. He'd leave soon...She glanced at her watch, angling it so the lights from outside shone on it. If he hadn't already figured out she wasn't coming and left by now.
She somewhat wished she was the type of person who always took the easy road. Scoffing at herself, she pushed herself up to her feet and shuffled over to the window, crossing her arms and watching Los Angeles live outside. The traffic in the streets below was probably enough to make some people leave, if they had a way out. She snorted quietly to herself, but the smirk died just as fast.
Chuck Bartowski. He was waiting, too. Somewhere. Probably at home. Was he reading a comic book? Watching some karate movie with Morgan? Playing a video game? Was he waiting for her to respond to the texts he'd sent? Probably.
She couldn't help huffing in frustration and turning her phone over on the bed when she'd seen them come through, first one...then another a few minutes later, like he'd agonized over whether he should send another when she hadn't responded to the first. She could feel how hard he wasn't pushing, and yet he was texting her, as if he needed some sign she was still around. She didn't know what he thought she was doing besides taking a bath like she said she was going to do. It didn't matter. She was here. She'd probably see him tomorrow. She had to. She was his handler, his protector. And somebody had to make sure he was okay, after everything that had happened.
A chill wracked through her as she remembered the sight of Bryce's bullet slamming into Chuck's chest. The way Chuck had been thrust backward, his whole body lurching, the way he'd been so limp on the ground. She'd known inherently that Bryce wouldn't have shot him like that without a plan. He'd done a lot to keep Chuck safe in the first place; killing him would undo all of that work, and...there was the fact that she knew Bryce genuinely cared about Chuck. Just like most people did when they knew him.
But it had been more than a relief to see that vest, and to watch his eyes open, even as he coughed horribly. And to know that there'd just be a horrible bruise, a welt, but that there was no bullet lodged in his chest.
Yes, she'd have to check on him. Not just because he was her asset but because he'd been through too much. Again. She'd entrust Casey with him tonight.
Sarah Walker just couldn't do that right now. She needed a God damn break. From everything and everyone. Just a few hours to herself. Without...all of this shit. She didn't want to think. She didn't need to think. She just wanted to clear her brain, get in bed, and sleep 'til her muscles practically atrophied.
She needed to reset.
She needed to realize that she'd just passed up the chance to go back to the life she had before, and that was no small thing. But she didn't want to realize it or dwell on it. She wanted to bash her head into this wall repeatedly.
This was supposed to be her last mission, so of course she wasn't going back to the spy life, back to Bryce. That ship had sailed. She was done with it. The only spy life she could stomach was this right here—working with Casey to protect Chuck. Though even this was hard to stomach sometimes.
And even though she did plan to walk away from this business after Chuck was free from the Intersect and safe from the government's sneaky grip, she was still an agent. One of the best. And she took her job seriously.
She didn't abandon missions. Agent Sarah Walker finished her damn job. And she wasn't quitting this one. Not with how much she prided herself in being a professional.
That was honestly the least important reason why she was still here.
The most important reason was something she was genuinely scared to even think about. So she wouldn't. She'd just get pissed, probably. Pissed that this whole thing was just going to continue to get harder, more complicated. The longer she stayed.
And still she wasn't budging.
She kind of hated herself for it. She didn't understand what was happening. And she felt some horrible, mean emotion start to bubble up in her chest. Maybe it was just that she was actually saying goodbye to Bryce in a sense. Like, really saying goodbye. This wasn't him disappearing, going on the lam with important government software, betraying her, then getting killed. That hadn't been a goodbye, it had been like...a painful good riddance. Bryce was alive. He was just leaving. He wanted her to leave with him and she was saying no. In every sense.
It was goodbye.
And maybe part of her felt a bit of an ache, even if she didn't want him or that life anymore. Walking away from things that once made you feel good...hurt. It hurt.
Suddenly her room phone rang and she spun to look at it sitting there on the nightstand, vibrating with each loud ring. It was Bryce. It had to be. He didn't have her burner number, but he'd found out this number. Somehow. He was a spy. That was how.
She didn't know what to say as she crossed the room towards it. Answering it and snapping a crisp and final, "NO" in his ear would be too cruel. And she wasn't so sure he'd understand what she even meant by it.
So she just stood and stared. And then she moved to answer it anyway, but then her cellphone buzzed, lighting up where she'd left it on the mattress. She froze and turned to look at it. A third text from Chuck, probably.
And that frustrated her like crazy, but it frustrated her even more that she was too curious not to just leave it alone and answer the damn phone to tell Bryce to go without her. She snatched the phone up from the bed with a quiet, sharp, "What!" directed at no one in particular. She turned it in her palm and saw that it wasn't from Chuck, but Ellie instead.
Sarah's eyes bulged and she blinked.
She opened the message with shaking fingers and watched as the picture popped up in the conversation. No words, just one picture. It was Chuck on the couch, completely knocked out, head lolling to the side, his body splayed out. But the kicker was Morgan splayed out just like he was, half on top of him, his head on his shoulder, mouth open in what had to be a snore.
Another text came in then, popping up under the picture. I thought you should know, as his girlfriend, that this is what Turkey Coma Chuck looks like. She added a wink.
Ellie. Sweet Ellie. She had no idea about anything that had happened today. She had no idea that her brother had a large welt on his chest under those two layers he was wearing on his torso. She'd just sent a funny text, an inside joke, to the woman she thought was dating her brother.
Sarah realized belatedly that the ringing had stopped and she glanced over at the phone again. So that was that.
But then it started ringing again, and in spite of everything, she felt some sort of warped humor come up from somewhere inside of her and she snorted, smirking. She even let out a quiet chuckle and shook her head.
She glanced down at the picture again, at how comfortable the bond between these two grown straight men was that they fell asleep on top of one another after eating too much of Ellie's turkey. She didn't get why, she couldn't even begin to understand...but it gave her the push she'd apparently needed to go and answer the phone.
Rushing to the phone, Sarah grabbed the receiver and lifted it to her ear. "Hi."
There was a quiet scratching sound, then a sigh. "I didn't think you were going to answer. I'm glad ya did."
She smiled. "I am, too."
There was a long pause, and then, "I feel like this is probably the most I've ever had to wait for a woman. Not that I'm trying to brag or anything. It feels weird."
Sarah rolled her eyes with a smirk. "Sorry I made you wait. But…"
"But?" She heard how tentative his voice was as she paused. "When you didn't call my burner after a half hour, an hour...another half hour after that...I got a little worried, Sarah."
She frowned. "I didn't call because...I'm not coming with you, Bryce."
"Nonsense. You can toss some stuff in a suitcase and make it here in less than a half hour. I'm at the Getty. I can even meet you at the bottom of the hill…"
"Bryce, you know very well that it's crazy you're still here in the first place."
"I'm still here for you, Sarah."
She heard how serious he was, the flirtation and laid back tone gone from his voice. "But you're going to leave without me," she responded, in just as serious of a tone, making sure he really heard her. "Because that's the way it has to be."
"It doesn't have to be that way and you know it."
"Well, then...if you need me to say it, I will." She sighed, nibbling on the inside of her cheek. "This is what I want, Bryce. I can't disappear with you. I can't let Sarah Walker die with Bryce Larkin. I'm here for a job and I'm not going to abandon it. Not for anything." She heard him let out a heavy sigh. "You of all people should know how important the...operation is. How important he is. And I don't trust anyone else with this." She raised an eyebrow. "You shouldn't, either, if you're really serious about him staying safe."
She could almost hear the smirk in his voice. "You're right. I don't think there's a better agent for the job. I just thought we'd do really well out there together again, you and me."
"Maybe before all of this. But there's no going back, Bryce. That's…" She took a long, deep breath. "That's done."
There was a low whistle on the other side of the phone, and then he chuckled. She could hear that she'd hurt him, but he was Agent Bryce Larkin at the end of the day. He took lickings before, she knew. Maybe not this kind. He'd be okay.
"Take care of that guy, huh? Tell him I'm sorry for that bruise on his chest. And Sarah?"
"Hm?" She bit her lip hard.
"We'll still always have Omaha. You know, if you change your mind at any point in the future."
Sarah didn't really want to respond to that. Because as far as she was concerned, Omaha was gone. Wiped off the face of the Earth. Instead, she said, "Be safe, Bryce."
"You too, Sarah."
The phone disconnected and she put the receiver down. She grabbed at the duvet on her bed, yanked at it, and crawled inside, throwing it back over her head and curling into the fetal position. She fell asleep finally with a few tears on her pillow.
Walking away from things that once made you feel good hurt.
And maybe...maybe that was why she was still here.
A/N: EDC here (puts away kleenex) Listen...if you're still alive after reading that, and yes, SC nearly killed me, (I mean, Chuck Bartowski. He was waiting, too. Somewhere. I needed to lie down the first time I read that) that does mean what you think. But it's not going to be easy, because life isn't easy for Chuck and Sarah. They have SO much to deal with, SO much, and there will be serious hurdles. I need you to understand that. I also need you to understand we are the two biggest Charah shippers you will EVAH see. Trust. We will get them there. So strap in, hang on, because I feel pretty safe to say, you ain't seen nuthin' yet. Sing it SC!...SC?
...Nah ah. Please review! Thanks! -SC