Chapter 60: Try for a New Beginning
"Would you like some iced tea Mrs. DeWitt Bukater?" Emma asks.
Ruth has come to sit in the living room, in a chair, while Jack and Rose sit together on the couch. Sybil sits on the floor playing and Emma is trying to prepare drinks for the guests to get rid of some of the awkward tension.
"N-no thank you, my dear," Ruth says. "Just a glass of water please."
"Jack? Rose? Iced tea?" Emma asks.
"Yes, please," Rose says.
"Make mine a Long Island," Jack whispers in Rose's ear. "I'm going to need it." Rose tries to hide her smile. He then speaks up. "I'd like some too Em."
Ruth swallows hard and tries to make herself comfortable. The living room is presentable; plenty of furniture, a fireplace, a throw rug, lamps, drapes, and vases. Not all of it is coordinated and it is a little messy, but Ruth can excuse that with a small child in the house. The atmosphere is bright and welcoming, certainly not the DeWitt Bukater mansion, but at least Rose had a roof over her head.
Rose can hardly look at her mother. She's spent so much time trying to escape Ruth's influence and here she is, sitting in the living room of her friend's house, a place Rose thought she could live a free life, at least until her and Jack got a place of her own. Waves of emotions wash over her; fear, anger, nervousness, hatred, guilt, a bit of happiness and everything in between. Rose immediately regrets inviting her mother here. She just wanted sanctuary, away from the life she loathed and her mother was a constant reminder of that. The baby is also continually kicking her, making her even more uncomfortable, but also reminding her of why she is doing this in the first place. Jack holds her hand, giving her a bit of comfort and reassurance. If he is here, she can do this, at least is what she keeps telling herself.
Emma comes in with the tray of drinks and hands them out to everyone. She then sits next to Peter on an adjacent couch.
Emma clears her throat.
"So Mrs. Bukater, did you have an okay trip?"
Ruth is startled by the questions and sips her water before answering.
"Y-Yes, I did, the train ride was alright, but the taxi ride was a bit rough with all the noonday traffic."
Rose bites her lip hard. The group is forced into another awkward silence.
Ruth swallows and turns to Peter. "S-So what do you do for a living Mr.…uh…"
"Whitman," Peter prompts. "Peter Whitman, and I am a lawyer."
"Oh…" Ruth says in surprise. "That must be an interesting profession."
"It can be," Peter admits. "Sometimes it is a bit boring, there is always lots of paperwork to do."
"I can imagine," Ruth says. "My late husband was a business man, he… was somewhat successful to a point as I am sure Rose has told you. Tell me do you own the law firm?"
"No actually, Emma does."
Ruth nearly drops her drink in shock and cannot help but gasp at this statement. Her face immediately hardens in disapproval. Rose's teeth dig deeper into her lip in anxiety and she's holding back her anger towards her mother. Rose knew that Ruth was very close minded and saw women as things to be desired and to be married off to men, meaning she would be very shocked that a woman owns the company instead of a man.
Emma, however, comes to the rescue. "My father originally owned the company, but he passed away several months ago. Since all that is left is me and Sybil, the entire company was willed to me. It's okay, though, Peter and I will be joint partners when we get married."
Ruth's harden face softens just a little bit.
"I'm sure you will do quite well together," Ruth manages to say. The words from Rose's letter about not judging her friends echo in her mind.
"Thank you…"
"And… Mr. … Dawson, what do you do now?" Ruth asks, her stomach turning with nerves.
"I work at the police station," Jack says, feeling just a nervous. At least now, he had a stable job and a home, not the penniless artist he was at the dinner on Titanic. He knew Ruth would never approve of his choice of job, but at least he can reassure the woman that he could care for Rose and their baby. Plus, without her snooty friends around, Ruth would not be motivated to try and humiliate him. He was surrounded by friends and he knew if Ruth was disrespectful, Emma and Peter would defend him and Rose would certainly tell her mother off. "I work as a sketch artist."
Ruth bites her own lip very hard, hard enough to bleed but remains silent. She knew she had to keep her opinions to herself, especially since her daughter was going to marry this man. Of course, it is not the ideal profession she would like Rose's future husband to have, at least he was employed and as far as she could tell, he was good to Rose.
"How nice," Ruth says quietly.
Sybil suddenly squeals from the floor, cutting the tension in the room. Emma scoops her sister into her arms.
"What a lovely child," Ruth says. "She is quite beautiful."
"Thank you, she looks exactly like my mother, but she's also quite feisty like my father."
"She has a pair of lungs too," Peter adds.
"How old is she?"
"Almost nine months old."
"Crawling?"
"All over the place, none of us can keep up with her anymore," Emma says. "She also gets into everything."
"Rose was like that as a child as well," Ruth says. "She never wanted to sit and be quiet like a lady, she wanted to get dirty and run about. She always wanted to see everything and often got in the way of parties, therefore she had a nanny at the time to tame her and teach her manners."
Rose swallows hard.
"Do you have a nanny?" Ruth asks.
"No, uh actually Rose takes care of Sybil most days," Emma says, knowing that Ruth is pushing Rose to her breaking point.
"Really?" Ruth says in shock. "I can now understand why Wendy gave you all those lessons Rose, to teach you to run a household, become a housewife."
Rose is fighting tears now.
"It's good practice for when they have their own baby," Emma says.
"Yes, of course, and their own house I imagine. Perhaps a nice apartment… or in a neighbourhood where a child can mingle with others. And I imagine that Rose will be staying home with the baby?"
"Just until she can get a job," Emma says, trying to keep the conversations as pleasant as possible. "She's hoping to be an actress."
"You still have that silly fantasy, Rose?" Ruth says sternly.
Rose gets up after that and immediately heads upstairs. Tears are in her eyes now and she slams the door when she gets to her room.
Rose's face is flushed and soaked with tears when she lays on top of her bed. She's so embarrassed by all of this. Of course, her mother would never approve of any of this, her life, her choice of husband, her friends, anything. Nothing was ever good enough for her mother and here she was embarrassing Rose in front of her friends, her own friends, who treated her like family. Rose places her hand on her belly and holds it tight.
There's a knock at the door.
"It's Jack," a soft voice says.
"It's open," Rose whispers.
Jack comes in and his heart breaks at the sight of his fiancée, broken and upset. He immediately rushes over to her and wraps his arms around her. He pulls her into his lap.
"Shhh, it's okay Rose."
"I'm sorry Jack, I really am…" Rose whimpers.
"You have nothing to be sorry about Rose petal," Jack says, kissing her head.
"I'm the one who brought her here, I'm the one she gave birth to, none of you should have to suffer…"
"We're suffering together Rose," Jack says. "Besides, it's actually a lot easier to tolerate her without the other snooty first-class assholes."
Rose tries to smile but continues to weep.
"She's never going to change," Rose whines.
"We can't expect her to," Jack murmurs.
"It's just that nothing is ever good enough for her, nothing! And I am so very tired of trying to impress her. It's wearing me out, Jack. I just can't stand it anymore, it's torture. I can't act like everything is forgiven and she never did anything wrong. She made my life a living hell and she still is! She's never going to approve of anything we do and she'll just discourage us. And I don't want our baby to be exposed to this, to be put down and told he or she cannot achieve their dreams… and I don't want to turn into her…if I did…" Rose sobs. She's worried Jack might leave her.
"Rose look at me," Jack says. He lifts her chin in his hand. "You were no picnic either when I met you. You were a selfish and spoiled little rich girl, but I stayed by your side. I was willing to save you because I knew you didn't belong. I knew you could change, I saw something that no one else could see at the time… I saw love and that spark of passion. That is what set you apart from all the other rich people. You're nothing like your mother, not then, not now, not ever. It's what made me fall in love with you and I promise…" Jack puts his hand on her stomach. "You will never turn into her. You're you Rose, and if your mother can't accept that, then… that's her problem, but I and this baby love you for who you are, not who anyone expects you to be…"
Rose reaches up and pulls Jack into a long kiss. She feels better with the love of her life in her arms. She loved him too, for who he was. She envies him for being so free, so strong, he didn't care what anyone thought of him and no one expected him to be anything. She knew she didn't have that luxury as much, but clearly, Jack saw that she didn't need to change for anyone at all.
"Thank you," she whispers. "I love you."
"I love you too," Jack smiles.
Jack gets up and he sees Ruth standing in the doorway. He sees tears on her face and he realizes that she's been listening.
"Hello," Jack says. Rose looks up to see her mother. She immediately wants to get mad at her, but the look on her mother's face makes her stop short. The look on her mother's face was one she hadn't seen before. It's a look of sadness, but also love. It's a soft look and it looks okay on her, making her look like a concerned mother.
"M-Mr. Dawson. I-I'm sorry…I"
"Please call me Jack, Mrs. DeWitt Bukater…"
Ruth nods. "M-may I speak to my daughter for a moment?"
"Sure," Jack nods. He kisses Rose once more and then allows Ruth into the room. He shuts the door quietly behind him.
Ruth sits on the edge of the bed. She gazes into her daughter's green eyes for a moment, her husband's eyes and she begins to cry.
"I-I am s-so very sorry Rose," Ruth weeps. "I'm so sorry for what I said and for everything I put you through. There is no excuse for my behaviour. Sometimes I wish I could shut off my judgments and statements, but sometimes they just come out… I know I've likely ruined the chance you'll ever accept me into your life, but I want you to know… I love you, Rose, I always have, I just… I just don't have a very good way to show it. I know what I've done to you is hardly forgivable, but I wanted you to know that I am trying to meet your demands. I do want to be a part of your life…"
Rose slowly reaches out and grabs her mother's hand. The fragile woman shakes in her grasp.
"I've just only ever been raised one way and I thought that was the proper way to raise you. Your father and I never really had the love that you and Mr. Dawson have…"
"Jack," Rose says quietly.
"Right, Jack. I really, truly am sorry Rose," Ruth says through her tears. "It's just a lot of change at once and I really do not want to lose you. I've already lost your father, but I can't lose you. It's just when I see how happy you are and how loved you are, it makes me very jealous and very guilty that I never gave you that growing up. You were always with nannies and I said I never had time for you. And now here you are, with a family that loves you and a man who respects you and loves you more than I probably ever did. I'm proud of you Rose and I'm glad you ran away from that monster of a man and found someone who cares for you. I know this isn't the life I imagined for you, but I see that you are happy and…I love that…to be honest I want that too. I want to get to know M-Jack, I want to know your friends and what your life is like. I want the adventure your life provides. When I was growing up, everything was planned for me and I'm sorry that I tried to do that for you too… I should have always wanted you to be happy and I should have always told you that you were loved. It's just when I see you, I see the woman I want to be, who I should have been, but it's too late for me. I'm an old aging woman with little left. I am certainly of no use being a grandmother to your child, but…"
Rose is now crying too. Tears of joy mostly, but also tears of understanding. She has finally seen the interior of her mother, the vulnerable human being under that hard shell. The woman who wanted what Rose had and who only wanted to be loved by her daughter.
"I want you to feel something," Rose interrupts. She takes her mother's hand and places it on her stomach. The baby kicks against her belly.
Ruth gasps in surprise and smiles. She even starts laughing in joy, something Rose never saw her mother do before.
"Oh, Rose…" Ruth says. "It's so beautiful."
Rose smiles. "You are of some use, Mother. You may not have done well with me, but you can start a new…with this new beginning, this new life." Rose looks into her mother's frail eyes. "Do you really mean what you said?"
"Every word," Ruth says.
"I…I'm beginning tp forgive you, Mother," Rose says, a lump in her throat. "I want you to have a happy life too. I want you to be apart of this too. It just took me a little longer to realize it. Can you forgive me for running away?"
"Of course," Ruth says, smiling again, the widest she'd ever smiled in her life. She reaches over and hugs her daughter. Rose is a little uncomfortable at first, but then she squeezes her mother tightly.
There's a knock at the door.
Jack pokes his head in.
"I'm just relaying a message that Emma has made dinner. Would you like some Mrs. DeWitt Bukater?"
"Please Jack, call me Ruth."