CHAPTER 10

(CHRISTIAN)

"How long are you in Seattle for?" I ask as I turn towards Gideon who has his eyes fixed on Eva and Ana, both of whom have said nothing since Frank stormed out of the room.

He pulls his gaze from the ladies, looks at me and shrugs. "I think I'll play it by ear, after that little performance I believe Ana and Eva need some time together to process what just happened".

I nod in agreement, "You are both welcome to come and stay with us" I offer and I watch as Ana looks up at me and smiles at me gratefully.

"Oh yes, please do" she says excitedly and then she looks questioningly at Eva.

Gideon looks at Eva, awaiting her response, "Angel?" he asks and Eva nods.

"I'd love to, after all… I just made that big speech about family. I'd love to spend some time with you. We were planning on staying overnight and flying back to New York tomorrow and I think I'd sooner stay with Ana and Christian, rather than in a hotel". She looks up at Gideon as though she is searching his reaction to that, "Are you ok with that?" she asks warily and he nods in agreement before turning to me.

"Thank you" he says simply.

I wave my hand dismissively as I pull out my cell phone to call Gail and inform her of our houseguests and to ask her to prepare a guest room. I glance at Gideon once more and see he looks a little bit uncomfortable and I wonder what that is about but I don't push it. I think I would be feeling a little off centre if I was about to spend the night in what is essentially a stranger's home.

"What are your plans now?" I ask and I see Eva hesitate and look at Ana.

"I don't want to get in the way, but I think I'd like to stay with Ana if she doesn't mind?" she says.

Ana smiles widely and nods her head enthusiastically.

I look at Gideon and shrug, "Well that's the ladies sorted, you are welcome to come with me to Grey House…?" I pause as I watch his reaction carefully.

He seems to think about that and then he nods, "I'd like that, I'm interested to see your cell phone project and see how Nexus comes into it" he says.

"Certainly, it would be my pleasure to show you" I say.

As Gideon opens his mouth to speak Ray strides into the room, he looks dishevelled and very, very angry.

"Ray?" I ask and he just holds up his hand to stop me.

"Dad, what's happened?" Ana says as she rushes to her father.

Ray sighs and shakes his head, before giving Ana a reassuring smile. "Let's just say I gave Frank Lambert a piece of my mind, I don't think he will be bothering you ladies again".

Ana reaches for Ray's hand and I see his knuckles are red and look as though they are bruising. "DAD! You hit him?!" she gasps.

Ray looks uncomfortable as he shuffles from one foot to another and he doesn't answer her. "He made some derogatory remarks about you two and his reasoning behind why you married who you did. I couldn't let comments like that go unpunished" he says evasively. I glance at Gideon and see the latent fury in his eyes as he knows exactly what Ray was insinuating. I am also feeling a degree of anger upon hearing that as I can just imagine what shit Lambert was spouting and I have a feeling that this really isn't the last we have heard from him.

Gideon and I watch as both Eva and Ana smile widely at him and hug him. He looks even more uncomfortable at this display of open affection but he responds to both of them and gruffly tells them that it was his pleasure as they profusely thank him.

"I really think you'd get on with my dad" Eva says as she pulls away, "When I take Ana to meet him, would you consider coming too? My dad is struggling at the moment with the realisation that he isn't my dad and I think talking with you could help with that?" She asks looking at Ray hopefully.

Ray nods and shrugs, "Sure, of course I will… although I don't see how anything I could say would make a difference" he says.

Eva grins, "You are very like my dad in demeanour and in the way you think so I'm sure he would warm to you and if he could have someone to talk to… someone who made a spectacular success of raising a daughter who wasn't biologically his it might help him come to terms with all this".

Ray smiles at Eva and nods, "I'd be happy to help, but my situation was very different. I always knew Annie wasn't mine, but I took on the job anyway and loved her like my own. Your dad was essentially lied to and he always believed you were his… there is the difference, a big one. The way I see it, and this is just me speculating… he isn't concerned about the fact you are not his per se, as I would imagine it makes no difference to him because he still loves you just the same, it's the fact he was lied to for years".

Eva thinks about that and nods, "Yeah, you're right it is. He phoned my mom and tore into her when it all came out; he was furious" she says.

Ray nods, "She made a mistake, a massive one but… and I'm not condoning what she did in any way, but she had essentially been abandoned, she was young and pregnant so she made some decisions which at that time she never thought would come back and bite her in the ass".

Eva nods, "I think that is why she always refused to marry my dad, I think her conscience wouldn't let her go that far. She was young… I mean she was only 18 years old…"

Ana nods in agreement, "So was Carla, she was about that age when Frank got her pregnant with me, and let's just say mom has always been a bit of an airhead. She was never cut out to be a mom, she was missing the essential maternal instincts which are needed to be a mother. So, I was just lucky that dad stepped up and agreed to raise me". Ana pauses and looks at Ray with obvious love and affection as she says this.

"So… what happens now?" Ray asks. He is clearly uncomfortable and embarrassed by this level of affection being directed at him.

Ana links her arm in his and looks at her watch. "Well, as it's nearly lunchtime I suggest we all go out to lunch and then afterwards we can all head off and do our own thing?" she looks around and I nod in agreement with that plan. Eva quickly agrees as does Gideon and we all look at Ray.

"Ok then" he says with a shrug, "but nowhere fancy" he adds.

oooOOOooo

After a delicious lunch we watch Taylor take Eva and Ana back to Grey Publishing. While Ray, Gideon and myself wait for him to return I voice my opinion on what should happen next with regard to Frank Lambert.

"So… what do you think will happen now?" I ask warily.

Ray shrugs and Gideon shakes his head.

"I have no idea but he certainly wasn't happy with how that meeting went" Ray says. "But he has totally twisted everything in his head and put the blame firmly on Eva and Ana for rejecting him. I have no idea what he was thinking. Frank was always a bit of a fantasist and twisted stuff to suit himself but that was a display of pure delusion today" he adds sadly.

Gideon sighs, "This is just my opinion, but I believe he will try and cause trouble… therefore I think we should follow through with the threat to report him to the military. After all he did essentially go AWOL, and then deserted… Abandoning his unit" he says carefully.

Ray nods emphatically, "I agree, the cost of the search for him not to mention the enquiry afterwards. It was all totally unnecessary. I can put you in touch with a few contacts. I was honourably discharged, but a few of my buddies who were around at that time and who will remember the whole fiasco surrounding Frank stayed in the military and are now pretty high up… top brass you might say, so I could put you in touch with them and if you give them what you have on Frank I'm certain they would put it to good use" he says.

Gideon nods, "Not to mention the fraud he committed in civilian life as he pretended to be someone else for over 20 years" he says.

I turn to Ray, "Are you in any hurry to get home?" I ask and Ray shakes his head.

"No, not really, why?" he asks.

"Come with us to Grey house and we can set the ball rolling as I don't trust Frank Lambert. I have a feeling he is going to cause trouble sooner rather than later, so I want us to be ready" I explain.

Ray nods and agrees, I look at Gideon questioningly and he nods his head in silent agreement with what I have just proposed.

The drive to Grey house is a pleasant one, there aren't any awkward silences and we are all chatting amiably. When we arrive, there is a flurry of movement and activity as a number of people turn to stare as we all troop in. I know that we aren't going to manage to keep the information about Ana and Eva being sisters a secret for much longer especially if Frank follows through with his threat. However, I am confident that no leaks will come from here as all my staff have signed NDA's as a matter of course and there is a confidentiality clause in everyone's employment contract. Everyone has seen Ray before as he has been to see me a number of times in the past but having Gideon here is causing somewhat of a stir, with a lot of whispering and furtive looks towards us.

"Your presence is causing more than a slight reaction with my staff" I mutter wryly to Gideon and his mouth twitches in amusement.

"Nah, it's not me it's Ray" he retorts which produces a small snort of amusement from Ray.

Andrea looks up and looks surprised when she sees us. "Oh, good afternoon Mr Grey… I…" I hold up my hand to stop her.

"Relax Andrea, it's fine". I pause and turn towards the two men accompanying me, "This is Gideon Cross, he is here to see the cell phone project development as he is sharing some technology with us for it" I explain. Andrea nods and then she glances at Ray and smiles at him as he politely greets her. I quickly wave my hand at Ray. "You know my father in law, he has dropped by for a visit. I am still officially off the premises, so continue to hold my calls. I will only take any calls from Ana and I will be in my office". Andrea nods in understanding at that.

"Would you like any coffee or anything?" she asks and I shake my head.

"No, I'm fine… what about you Ray? Gideon?" I ask looking at each of the men in turn. They both shake their heads and mutter a quiet no thank you. With that we all troop into my office and I close the door.

Gideon and I sit quietly listening to Ray on the telephone, talking to 'Arnie' who is one of his old military buddies who is as he put it, 'one of the top brass now'. Ray quickly outlines the story of Frank and it is clear that the person he is talking to not only remembers Frank but also has had the same underlying suspicions that Frank was never killed in that training exercise. As soon as Ray explained the situation as it is now, Gideon and I were brought into the conversation to give the information we held on Frank as to his current location and the evidence we had that he was the same Frank Lambert who had allegedly died years previously. Information, that we could legally provide for the military to send the relevant military authorities to pick him up and arrest him for desertion.

I explained that Frank had actually approached Ana and offered a story detailing his own real-life activities hoping for it to be published. I also explained that he was aware that she was in fact his biological daughter and that it appeared clear that he was looking for some kind of publicity or pay-out, due to who Ana now was and who she was married to. I also commented on how it hadn't occurred to him that if he made his link to Ana public that could also bring him unwanted attention from the military for his action's years previously.

Gideon was brought in and asked for his reasons for his involvement in this situation and he explained how not only had Frank abandoned Ana's mother when she discovered she was pregnant with Ana, but he appeared to have somewhat of a track record and had previously abandoned Eva's mother Monica. We both made it clear that this information was strictly on a need to know basis and that for obvious reasons we didn't want it to reach the media. We were assured of total discretion and we were thanked for the information which we were able to provide. I was grateful to Ray who also reiterated the need for discretion in this matter and he also was reassured that the information that had been provided as to Franks biological link with our wives would go no further.

Gideon and I both listen as Ray brings the call to an end and as he does so he looks up at me. "There, done. You can trust Arnie; he won't blab about the situation with Ana and Eva. He'll also make sure that this information is on a need to know basis".

Gideon and I both nod in unison. I don't know about Gideon but I am grateful for Ray's reassurance. Before I can say anything though, Ray speaks again.

"I think I'll be heading off now" he says warily and I nod in understanding. He looks up at Gideon and holds out his hand to him which Gideon immediately and readily accepts. "It was nice seeing you again Gideon, and I guess this won't be the last time either, with all the plans our girls are making".

Gideon smiles and nods, "Likewise, it has been a pleasure. I look forward to the next time" he says.

Ray then turns to me with his hand outstretched. "Bye for now and I'll talk to you soon, Christian" he says and I accept the handshake and say my own goodbyes. Then I pull out my phone to call Taylor to take Ray to fetch his car from Grey Publishing, ignoring my father in law as he protests loudly, adamantly insisting that he can call a cab.

We both watch as Ray leaves and as the door closes Gideon turns towards me.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, I like Ray" he says and I nod in agreement.

"He's a good man, and I know he always has Ana's best interests at heart, which is more than can be said for her mother".

Gideon's eyebrows rise at that, "Ana doesn't get along with her mother? I did wonder after… after her comments regarding her mother earlier when she said she was missing something essential maternally?"

I hesitate a moment and then nod. "Yes, she is and no, Ana doesn't really have a relationship with her" I say simply. I sigh, "I'm sorry that was indiscreet of me to say that" I add.

Gideon holds up his hand, "No don't apologise, what's the old saying you can't choose your family? I am fully aware of that fact through my own personal experiences" he says somewhat bitterly and then he stops speaking and looks embarrassed by what he has said. "Although I feel slightly uncomfortable now, saying that considering your history… being adopted, you essentially did get to pick your family" he says awkwardly as he tries to dig himself out of the hole he has made.

I smile kindly at him, "Grace Trevelyan Grey saved me and that is no exaggeration, I do wonder sometimes what would have become of me had she not been in that ER the night I was brought in by the police". I pause and Gideon looks at me questioningly and with open curiosity.

"If you don't mind me asking, what was your story?" he asks after a moment.

I shrug, "I was found in a stinking shithole slum apartment in Detroit beside the body of my dead mother. She was dead because she was a crack whore who had taken one hit too many and overdosed… I was four years old. I was malnourished, dehydrated and I had numerous open wounds and injuries from the abuse her pimp inflicted on me. I was taken to the hospital and Grace was the doctor in the ER… I remember that day as if it was yesterday, she spoke to me kindly and she was so gentle. I wasn't used to either of those things. I thought she was an angel, I thought I had died and I was in heaven and she was an angel".

Gideon looks shocked, "Jesus Christ" he mutters and I smile.

"It was a long time ago" I say dismissively. Although I am fully aware that the legacy of that time still lives with me to this day. However, I'm not about to go into that right now. I look at Gideon carefully and once again I wonder what his story is? I decide that as I have shared, I will ask him, he can only refuse to say anything.

"So, what's your story? You sounded distinctly bitter when you said you couldn't choose your family?" I say, trying to keep the atmosphere light.

I watch as he shifts uncomfortably and shakes his head. "My mother didn't love me enough" he says cryptically and I frown wondering what he means by that.

I know of his background; I mean who doesn't. His father was the disgraced financier Geoffrey Cross who was arrested for fronting a crooked Ponzi Scheme and who took his own life to avoid prison.

"Look if you don't want to talk about it, it's fine" I say after another moments silence.

Gideon smiles at me, and I can tell he is clearly very uncomfortable about what he is wrestling with and deciding whether or not to say anything.

"I need to say something as I am going to be spending the night in your home, and there will be no hiding my fucked-up issues after tonight as they have a nasty habit of making themselves known when I am sleeping" he says.

I gesture to the seating area as I realise this is going to be something big and after another hesitation, Gideon sits down and clasps his hands in front of him. I sit beside him and wait as he gathers himself, giving him time to say what he needs to say.

"I have nightmares" he says after another long silence.

"Ok" I say, as I think about my own issues with night terrors, which I have thankfully been free of since Ana came into my life.

Gideon turns and looks at me carefully. "What I am about to tell you… this is strictly between you and me. I wouldn't even be considering opening myself up like this was it not for the fact I will be spending the night in your home and there is the very high chance that you will be made aware of it". He pauses again and I feel the need to jump in here.

"I empathise with your situation, I suffered from night terrors for years. I functioned on only about 4 hours sleep each night because of them… I relived the abuse at the hands of the crack whore's pimp. They only stopped when I met Ana" I say with a shrug.

Gideon is watching me closely as I say this, "The abuse… was it just physical or…?" he stops and I go cold at the intimation of his question.

I shake my head and let out a quiet snort. "Just physical. He kicked me across rooms, beat me with his belt and his boots and he put out his cigarettes on me". I pause as Gideon gasps. "However, I find it ironic you ask that as I am assuming you are referring to sexual abuse? When I was a teenager, I was seduced by one of my mother's friends. I thought she helped me, but Ana always insists that it was abuse and that she was nothing more than a dirty paedophile. It took me a long while to accept that Ana was right about her".

I stop, shocked at the amount of very personal information I have just willingly shared with Gideon. I have never been this willingly open with anyone. It took me a long while to open up to Ana about my past and even longer with John Flynn but for some reason I feel safe doing so. I feel he understands and empathises with what happened to me and for some reason I can't fathom… I trust him.

The silence spreads out between us again and then as Gideon keeps his eyes fixed on his hands he speaks, very quietly he mutters the words, and I barely hear them, but what he says floors me.

"I was raped" he mumbles, and I let out a small gasp.

He looks up at me, almost as if he is trying to read my reaction to what he has just told me. "That is what my night terrors are, I re-live the time I was raped when I was a child" he says.

"Fucking hell!" I say and I reach out and tentatively touch his arm.

"Have you seen anyone about this?" I begin but Gideon lets out a mirthless laugh at that and I wonder why?

"Hardly, considering it was a fucking psychiatrist who raped me!" he spits. That completely throws me and I stare at him, not knowing how to answer that.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so harsh, you weren't to know" he says and I wave my hand dismissively at his apology.

"No, there is no need to apologise" I say immediately, as I try and reassure him. "I take it Eva knows?" I say and he nods.

"Yes, she found out the hard way when I tried to attack her while I was asleep" he says and I see the shame and self-loathing fill his face as he is obviously recalling that time.

"Hey, she understands. If you were asleep there was no way you could control what you were doing. She stayed with you, didn't she? So, she understands" I say as I am grasping for anything to try and offer a positive slant on this truly shocking revelation.

I watch as he considers this and nods. he is still looking at his hands, "If I have a night terror and you hear me tonight… at home, Eva and I sleep separately. In separate beds. We are in the same room, but I daren't share a bed with her… in case…" he trails off and I realise that is why he looked so uncomfortable earlier when it was discussed about him and Eva staying with us. I immediately pull out my phone and call Gail.

"Gail, I need you to prepare a second guest room please" I say as she answers.

"Certainly, Mr Grey" she replies without question.

"Thank you, Gail," I say and hang up.

"Well, you have nothing to be concerned about tonight" I say brightly and Gideon looks up and offers me a weak yet grateful smile.

"Thank you" he says.

I go through everything he has told me and my mind sticks on his comment that his mother didn't love him enough and then it hits me… she didn't believe him; she didn't believe that he had been abused. I stare at Gideon, not quite knowing what to say or if I should say anything.

He looks up at me once more and the look on my face makes him smile.

"It's alright, you don't have to say anything… did you tell your mother about the abuse at all, I mean when you were a teenager?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, you have to realise that I didn't realise it was abuse. I was fifteen when she seduced me. I honestly thought she helped me and I held on to that notion for years. It was only when I met Ana and she showed me a different way did it slowly start to dawn on me the reality of what we did. My mother found out eventually though… completely by accident, only about 3 years or so ago. It was the night Ana and I announced our engagement, and it was my birthday. My parents threw a birthday party for me and Elena was there, after all she was a family friend. Ana hated her and the feeling was mutual with Elena… she didn't like it that I had fallen in love with Ana and was now following a different path. I see now she still tried to exert her influence over me and control me even though our physical relationship had long since ended". I pause as I think about how Elena had manipulated me over the years. I realise that I have stopped talking and look up at Gideon who is watching me closely.

"Anyway, after we announced our engagement Elena cornered Ana and tried to tell her to leave me. She tried to get into Ana's head and tell her she would never be enough for me; I was furious when I overheard that and I walked in on them". I smile as I recall the sight that confronted me as I entered the room that night.

"I entered the room just as Ana was throwing her drink all over Elena. I'd heard everything that Elena had said, and I was livid. She tried to say that she was just looking out for me and that she knew me and my needs best, I told her she had no fucking idea what my needs were. We started arguing and that was when my mother found out. She walked in just as I told Elena that all she did for me was teach me how to fuck".

Gideon gasps as he hears that. "That's not something you need your mother to hear!" he says sardonically.

I let out a snort at that as I continue to remember that night. Gideon narrows his eyes and looks confused at my reaction, as this is obviously not a comical situation and so I feel the need to explain my amusement. "My mother slapped her and told her to get out. You had to be there, you see Elena was a Dominant but seeing her standing there dripping wet with Ana's cocktail all over her and a red hand print on her face where my mother had slapped it… it was just an amusing sight" I say.

"Dominant… she… she didn't seduce you into a BDSM relationship, did she?" Gideon asks incredulously.

I nod and he gasps again, clearly appalled by this. "Ana was right, you were abused and severely, you were fifteen years old and she not only had a sexual relationship with you, but she introduced you into a lifestyle certainly not appropriate for a fifteen-year-old child!"

I nod, "I realise that now" I say quietly.

"But your mother, she stood by you?" he asks, and I nod.

"Of course she did, she is a wonderful woman. She felt incredibly guilty for a long time afterwards as when it all came out into the open the way she saw it was that she had practically offered me to Elena on a plate. But she cut her off and both she and my father stood by me when it came out that she was abusing other underage children. They supported me when I gave evidence as to what she did to me at her trial. A number of videos were found in her safe of what she did to underage boys. All the boys were traced and all the surviving ones testified against her; because of who I am, and the influence I have it was hushed up about the video footage which was found of me… at first. My father also intervened on my behalf. But by then I realised that what she did, didn't help me and that I was abused so I insisted on doing my part and testifying as well, I realised with my position and influence it could make a difference and help all the boys she abused get their justice… and yes, my parents stood by me and supported me and I have to say it was one of the best things I ever did". I pause and watch Gideon's reaction and he looks… envious.

"I told my mother about the abuse, she took me to a paediatrician and he lied to her, saying I hadn't been abused so she believed him… we have been estranged ever since" Gideon says with a shrug and it is my turn once again to look astounded.

"Why on earth would a paediatrician of all people lie about something like that?" I gasp.

Gideon lets out a mirthless snort, "Because his brother in law was the abuser, he did it to protect his wife who was my abuser's sister" he explains.

"Fucking hell!" I say, as that is all I can summon up at hearing that tale.

"Quite" Gideon replies.

"He shouldn't be a practicing paediatrician" I blurt out.

Gideon nods, "I don't disagree, which is why I got my revenge. Quite comprehensively as it turned out" he says with a small satisfied smile. I look at him questioningly but don't like to ask how, but Gideon quickly continues.

"When I met his wife a few years ago and realised who she was and more importantly who she was married to… I slept with her. I played with her and when she was ready to leave her husband for me, I ended it and sent her back to him after telling her everything that he did… along with everything her brother did. She was appalled not only because her brother had molested me but because her husband had covered it up in a misguided sense of loyalty towards her. She helped me to get him stripped of his licence to practice as a paediatrician and she divorced him. Left him a broken man, he was disgraced and he had lost his family, just as his actions had previously helped me to lose mine".

"Wow, what happened to him after that?" I ask almost with bated breath.

Gideon shrugs, "Dead, he couldn't stand the shame and he killed himself… overdose as I recall. Quite ironic really considering that was the same end that met my abuser".

"Your rapist committed suicide?" I ask and Gideon nods.

"Yes, when I was in a position to do something the Statute of Limitations had long since run out, but I went to see him and told him that he would never lay a hand on another child and that if he did I would set up an unlimited fund for his victims to get their justice. It was shortly after that confrontation that he killed himself… it came out that there were a number of other victims and I founded the Crossroads Foundation in response" he says.

I am astounded by everything he has just willingly told me and I immediately make a mental note to make a substantial donation to the Crossroads Foundation.