CHAPTER 18
(GIDEON)
I quietly slip from the room unnoticed and make my way to the suite where Christian and Ana are staying. I spot Taylor hovering outside the door and he nods at me as I approach.
"Sir" he says politely.
"Hello Taylor, how is he?" I ask.
I watch as he hesitates and doesn't answer my question. I know his loyalty towards Christian is preventing him from saying anything.
I hold up my hands in a gesture of surrender and appeal to him to let me in.
"Look, I saw what happened in that room and to be perfectly honest I don't think he should be left alone to brood. I have done more than my own fair share of brooding over the years and I think he needs to talk about what went down," I say and then wait for Taylor to decide if he is going to let me in or not.
"May I ask what happened Sir?" he asks cagily.
I pause and think, as this isn't my story to tell. "He learnt some things about his childhood before he was adopted by the Greys" I say vaguely.
Taylors eyes widen at that and then he nods. "Is Mrs Grey alright? She seemed upset?" he asks.
I nod, "I think so, it came as a bit of a shock and Christian over reacted a bit. Understandably so considering what he'd just learnt but he didn't take the news well. I think she is just worried about him more than anything, but she's with my wife and Ray so she is in safe hands" I reply.
"Mr Grey did say he wanted to be alone" Taylor says stubbornly as he still refuses to let me pass.
I sigh, "Look, please Taylor just look the other way for a moment and I'll take full responsibility for it".
"I do like my job sir" he says as he still stands blocking the doorway and I nod.
I get his reticence and his loyalty should be commended as he really isn't making this easy for me. "You won't get fired, I guarantee you won't get fired". I watch as he struggles with the decision but then eventually he nods, steps aside and hands me the key-card to get in.
"Thank you" I say as I push the key-card into the slot and push the door open.
As I step inside the suite, there is not a sound and no sign of Christian. I walk in and close the door behind me. I pause and listen and as I do so I hear movement in the bedroom. I walk closer and see the mini bar is open. I sigh and roll my eyes as I see it.
I pause at the bedroom door and knock. The movement inside ceases and a moment later the door opens to reveal a dishevelled Christian Grey with a glass of bourbon in his hand. His eyes widen in surprise and he even takes a step back as he sees me standing there and I'm certain he thought it was Ana who had come to him.
"How the hell did you get in here?" he snaps as he quickly recovers.
"I own the hotel" I say vaguely and somewhat arrogantly and that shuts him up and I watch him swallow whatever he was going to say next. My eyes move to the glass in his hand, "That's not going to help" I add as I nod at the glass.
"Fuck off Cross" he says rudely and he turns his back on me and throws himself into a large comfortable looking armchair.
I ignore the comment and his rudeness and step into the bedroom. "Ana is in bits downstairs" I say. I know that is stretching the truth as she was actually very calm and collected when I left. She was naturally very shocked at what Christian had done though and it was obvious she was upset by his behaviour when he stormed out.
He looks up at me and I see the remorse, which quickly evolves into guilt. "Is she ok? Did I hurt her when I pulled away from her?" he asks.
I shake my head, "No, I don't think so. I think she was shocked more than anything but she is worried about you".
"Did she send you up? Is she afraid of me?" he asks and I know from this line of questioning that his mind is making up scenarios of everything that has happened. He is overthinking everything and making things worse as a result.
"No, she didn't. She didn't even notice me slip from the room and no she's not afraid of you… as I say she's just worried".
He takes a large gulp of the bourbon and then sets the glass down.
"I can't believe…" he begins and then stops.
I sigh again and crouch down beside him, "You can't believe what?" I ask as I try and coax him into talking. It feels like I'm trying to encourage a frightened child to talk to me as at this moment Christian looks about as far away from a powerful CEO as it can get.
He looks at me and I see a lost look in his eyes now, "I can't believe… Ana's 'Uncle Arnie'" he holds up his fingers in air quotes as he says Uncle Arnie "could actually be my real biological uncle".
I have to say that I was taken aback by the turn of events and I'm not involved personally so it must have felt like someone had pulled the rug from under him. "It certainly is a strange turn of events" I say.
Christian looks at me and a mirthless laugh escapes him as he scrubs his hand over his face. "Shit, he must think I'm a complete idiot after the way I behaved. You know, normally I don't care what people think of me, I just brazen it out but normally I don't lose it like that. It was as if my self-control just evaporated".
I rise up and look around, I spot another armchair and drag it over so I am sitting in front of him and I try and reassure him. "I know that feeling. I've been there and its not nice, but I think under the circumstances he would make allowances, and just remember he is hurting too as he has now learnt that his sister has died. The woman who he has always kept that hope of being alive somewhere, he has now had it confirmed that she is dead and has been dead for some considerable time".
He shakes his head, "I should apologise for the way I behaved" he says.
I shake my head, "Christian, I think he is more concerned that what he said and did has upset you".
I pause and think for a moment, "I think you should come back downstairs, it's not healthy to be sitting up here brooding, you are just going to overthink things" I say.
He doesn't respond and he is sitting silently so I just wait patiently for him to respond and just say something. Eventually he looks up at me and it appears his mood has lifted slightly.
"I'm looking forward to seeing Eva deal with Kate" he says with a grin and while I'm surprised by the abrupt change in direction, I quickly catch up and change gears to accommodate it. I know he has done this on purpose as he doesn't want to discuss the elephant in the room, so he is choosing to ignore it instead and change the subject.
I smile, "From what was said I get the distinct impression that this Kate person has been manipulating Ana for years" I say hoping that this will get him talking again.
He nods and reaches for his bourbon again and takes another gulp.
"She has, I have watched and just kept my mouth shut which has been fucking hard. Not only because she is Ana's friend but also because she is my brother's wife, although for how much longer she stays his wife remains to be seen".
"Elliot and Kate's marriage is in trouble?" I ask and Christian nods.
"Between you and me their marriage has been in trouble since day one. They married a year after I married Ana. My brother has always been… shall we say promiscuous. I honestly never thought he would ever settle down as he was content bouncing from one woman to another but then he met Kate and all that changed. He grew up, settled down and became the poster boy for family life. He and Kate have a daughter but I know he's not happy. As I said before, Kate is not a natural home maker. She can't cook, Elliot spends more time at ours or at moms as he knows he will get fed properly rather than living on takeout. Ana is a fabulous cook, and she has even taught me to make a few simple things, not that I get chance very often. During the week most of the cooking is taken care of by Gail, my housekeeper and when she's not around Ana will cook". He pauses and I don't say anything. He is rambling a bit but he is talking and I want to keep it that way.
"They – Elliot and Kate, employ a cleaner to take care of the house and I think they have a nanny to take care of their daughter as Kate still works full time and generally behaves as if she isn't a mother at all. She is always trying to drag Ana out on nights out to clubs and the like. I do wonder why they had Ava - that's their daughter, as Kate really isn't maternal and doesn't really show much interest in her. I know it upsets Ana how she behaves towards Ava as it reminds Ana of her own mother and how Carla behaved as she grew up. Elliot dotes on her but he works long hours when he's out on sites, but he said that he came home one evening and Kate was sitting with her phone and the nanny was with Ava. I don't know about you, but I don't think that's right. The cracks have been there for a long time, but Elliot sticks with it for Ava's sake… that was part of the reason for the holiday in Hawaii, sort of a bonding session type thing, to try and get the magic back into their marriage. Although having said that I'm fairly certain it was originally El's plan for it to be a family holiday but Kate decided to offload Ava on to mom and dad for the week, I don't think Elliot was altogether on board with that plan but he went along with it".
"I see" I say, my mind is now working wondering if we can get Elliot on side before we get to Seattle.
Christian looks up at me, "I'm sorry I've been terribly indiscrete but I worry about it. Elliot is my brother and while he is an idiot and he gets on my nerves a lot of the time… he's still my brother and that child… every child needs their mother don't they?"
I can see now this is all sort of linked with everything else that is going on and I just nod as I can tell he has more to say.
"Yeah, I don't think she ever loved him. I think it was more a case of look Ana I bagged myself a Grey brother too, as El is as successful as me. His construction company is the premier construction company in the North West and while he flies under the radar a bit and I attract all the media attention he is a wealthy successful man in his own right, but people don't realise it because he gets his hands dirty".
"Do you think she is jealous of Ana because she got with you?" I ask, and he nods adamantly.
"Oh god yes, definitely. I think that was also a part of her reasoning behind trying to drive a wedge between us. She couldn't stand it that I took an interest in Ana and pursued her and that when we got together Ana was happy with me. You see I was Ana's first serious relationship and she… Kate that is, couldn't understand why I would go for her she was quiet and shy, whereas Kate is loud and confident although I prefer the term obnoxious and then there is the money factor. Her father is Eamon Kavanagh the media tycoon so she had a more than privileged upbringing whereas Ana bless her, put herself through college and barely had two cents to rub together. She always tries to bring Ana down, even now she tries to undermine her confidence with barbed comments, she says she's telling her the truth and being honest with her but she's not. Ana outshines Kate in every possible way so that is her only weapon. She knows that Ana has always had self-esteem issues, you wouldn't think it to look at her as she has really come out of her shell since we've been together and she has become a really strong confident woman now but that is only down to the encouragement she gets from Ray and from me, underneath she is still the shy and unsure person. Kate knows what buttons to press to make her doubt herself, when we first got together Ana couldn't understand why I would want her and Kate played on those insecurities".
That comment makes me feel angry on Ana's behalf as she really is a sweetheart and I feel an odd sense of protectiveness for her, nothing romantic more akin to big brother protectiveness. I am making a mental note to tell Eva all this so she is prepared when she meets Kate.
"Well, she will have her work cut out with Eva, and I warn you now she has become very protective of Ana as well, but genuinely protective not just manipulating her" I say and Christian smiles.
"I would pay good money to see someone knock Kate Kavanagh Grey down a peg or two" he says.
I notice that he is now more relaxed and his mood has improved so I broach the subject of him coming downstairs again.
"Are you ready to come back down now?" I ask.
I watch as his face immediately clouds and I sigh, "What is it?" I ask.
He shakes his head, "I'm not sure, it threw me and I'm ashamed of the way I behaved. Not only that everything I ever thought is wrong if that photograph is anything to go by, my mother was happy and settled so what the fuck happened for her to end up like she did?"
I know exactly what happened as I heard Arnie's story, but it's not my place to tell him. "I know what happened, Arnie explained it all to Ana after you left and trust me it's a very sad story. But you need to do him the courtesy of coming down and letting him tell you" I say.
I watch him consider this and after a moment he nods and I almost sag with relief.
"That's great, come on Christian you have nothing to worry about. Yes, it's an incredibly sad story but it is far better than the one you had in your head. You were loved by your mom and your dad. Your dad was your moms true love and not a sleazy client who paid for his sex. You will know the truth and you'll be able to build a relationship with Arnie and your birth family".
He freezes at that and I wonder what I have said, "What?" I ask.
"One step at a time" he murmurs and I nod.
"Alright, baby steps and all that" I say with a shrug.
I watch as he stands up and runs his hands through his hair.
"Ready?" I ask after a moment.
I watch him take a deep breath and nod. "Ready" he replies.
oooOOOooo
(CHRISTIAN)
We leave the suite and I see Gideon quietly slip the key-card to Taylor. He thinks I didn't see it and I'm not going to make a fuss about it. I'm actually rather touched that he gave a damn and came to look for me. He was right of course, sitting brooding and emptying the mini bar was not the cleverest thing I could've done.
We make our way back downstairs to the conference room and the closer we get the more on edge I feel. I have an overwhelming myriad of emotions coursing through me. Guilt for upsetting Ana, worry about how she is and also concern for Arnie now that he knows his sister has died. Embarrassment for losing it so spectacularly but the main one is fear, fear of what is going to happen when I walk in that room and fear of what happens next.
I pause as we reach the room and Gideon looks at me and gives me a smile of encouragement.
I nod and place my hand on the handle and slowly open the door. As soon as the door opens everyone looks round. Ana is sitting at the table with Ray one side of her and Eva the other. Arnie is sitting opposite next to Victor. I look at her and the guilt increases as I see she has been crying. As soon as she lays eyes on me though a huge relieved smile fills her face and lights up her eyes. She is on her feet and running towards me.
"Christian" she whispers.
I catch her as she throws herself at me and I close my eyes as I crush her to my chest and bury my nose in her hair and inhale deeply.
She pulls away from me and placing her hands directly on my chest she looks up at me and searches my face.
"Are you alright? I was so worried" she says.
I pull her close to me once more, "I'm so sorry baby" I mumble and she shakes her head.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, that was a massive shock you received and we both know you don't deal with unexpected things well".
"I shouldn't have stormed out the way I did" I argue and Ana cocks her head to one side as if she acknowledges that.
"Agreed, but you came back" she retorts. I have no answer to that and she grasps my hand and pulls me towards the table. "Arnie wants to talk to you, tell you all about Ella and Liam" she says.
I nod but I have one burning question I want answered… my name. I look towards Arnie who is watching me closely.
"I apologise for my appalling behaviour" I say and Arnie smiles kindly at me and waves his hand dismissively.
"There is nothing to apologise for, that was a massive shock you got" he says.
"Thank you" I say simply, then I take a deep breath, "You mentioned something… you mentioned the child in that photo was called Alex… the woman is definitely my birth mother, so I am assuming that child is… me?" I say but it is more of a question than a statement.
Arnie nods, "Yes I was telling Ana, your full name is Alexander Christian Edwin. Alexander after Liam's father and Edwin after Ella's, and mine of course and Christian was just a name Ella particularly liked". I take a sharp breath in, the name I go by was given to me by my mother as she liked it. I had always wondered if my name was Christian as I only ever recall my mother calling me 'maggot'. Then the memories of the other names I was called when I lived with my birth mother push themselves into my mind, and I hear the pimp screaming at me and calling me a little shit.
"Christian" Ana says gently and she is watching me closely. I ruthlessly push those memories away and focus on Ana's voice and take some deep breaths.
"I'm sorry I was just remembering something" I mutter. I shake my head as if by doing so will rid me of those memories and I feel the urge to call my mother.
"Would you mind if I called my mother?" I ask and Arnie smiles widely and shakes his head.
"No not at all" he says.
Eva stands up, and looks around, "I think we should take this as our cue to leave Christian to talk with Arnie". She holds out her hand towards Arnie, "It was a pleasure meeting you and thank you for everything you have done regarding Frank" she says.
Arnie takes it and pulls Eva into a hug, "My pleasure, I'm hoping I will see you again before you all leave?"
"I want you to come back to Seattle with us" I say suddenly, I want Arnie to meet my mom and dad and tell them about the Ella he knew.
Arnie nods, "I can do that, I'll have to organise some leave but I'm pretty sure I'll manage to".
I watch as Victor, Gideon and Ray all shake Arnie's hand and then troop out of the room leaving myself, Arnie and Ana alone.
Once we are alone we sit down and I pull out my phone and call my mother, putting the call on speaker so everyone can hear.
The phone rings out for a few moments and then she answers. "Hello" she says and I take a deep breath.
"Mom, it's me" I begin.
"Hello darling, how is your trip going? Has everything been sorted out with Ana's biological father?" my mom says in a bright voice.
I take a deep breath, "Mom something has happened" I say and I cringe slightly at the tremor in my voice.
"What's happened, what's wrong darling?" she says her voice now filled with concern.
I look helplessly at Ana and she smiles encouragingly at me and leans towards my phone. "Hello Grace, we received some unbelievable news today. Uncle Arnie, my dad's military friend - who we have been liaising with, regarding Frank… well it appears that he is related to Christian, as it seems as though Arnie is Ella's older brother".
I hear my mom gasp and then there is a long silence. "Christian are you there?" my mom says eventually.
"I'm right here mom, Ana is with me and so is Arnie, you are on speaker and we can all hear you" I say.
"You think this is possible?" she asks and I know what she is getting at.
"I do mom, he has a photo… it's a photo of Ella and her husband and she is holding a baby and that baby is me" I say.
"Husband?" my mom says with obvious surprise as she knows the circumstances of how I was found.
Arnie leans forward, "Mrs Grey, I'm Arnie Hawkins and I just want to thank you for taking care of my nephew and for raising him to be a fine young man. I can understand your concern and I am willing to take a DNA test to clarify the biological link between us. I am also prepared to call in other members of the family to do the same to offer you concrete evidence" he says.
I look at him gratefully, "I think I'd like that" I mutter.
"Consider it done" Arnie says.
"How are you darling? How are you taking the news?" my mom asks warily and I know what she is asking, she is asking if I have over reacted and I lower my head as the shame consumes me.
"I'm fine now" I say vaguely and there is a brief silence before my mom replies.
"That's good" she says simply.
"Mom, I have a question, Arnie says my full name is Alexander Christian Edwin, so why did you choose to call me Christian?" I ask.
"Oh that's easy, when we adopted you we got your original birth certificate and it said Alexander Christian Edwin on it so we were fully prepared to continue to call you Alexander, as you were four years old when you came to us and you had lost so much we didn't want to take your name from you as well and give you a new name. But there was also a number of other documents with your name on and all the official documents we received had Alexander Christian Edwin – known as Christian written on them so from that we knew that your mom had called you Christian rather than Alexander and so that was the name we used" she explains.
I feel Ana squeeze my hand gently, and I swallow hard, "Thanks mom" I say.
"My pleasure darling, do you have any further questions?" she asks.
"Not at the moment mom" I say.
"Alright, well I'm here if you need to talk to me" she says with almost a hopeful note in the tone of her voice.
"Thanks mom" I say gratefully.
I end the call and look up at Arnie, "So, tell me everything" I say as I reach for Ana's hand once more and grip it tightly.