The streets of Tumblr haven't seen this much action in a long time. The incident spread like wildfire among the Tumblr users and many of them were crowded around the entrance of the Sexyman Gallery whispering amongst themselves, held back by police tape. Inside, Hat Kid was surveying the carnage that lay before her. A sculpture of Dimentio had lost its head, oil paintings of Raymond from Animal Crossing had large slashes across them, holograms of Black Hat were flickering with static. Talon scratches dotted the ruined wooden floor which was littered with blue feathers. Twitter users were definitely here. But where were they now? Hat Kid began to follow the trail of talon marks and feathers in hopes it would lead her in the general direction.
The trail wound within the mazelike corridors of the gallery. Alongside the feathers, Hat Kid noticed a set of dirty set of footprints, going in the same direction as the feathers. Continuing on, the trail eventually led to a dead end. The room was filled with TV screens, some displaying explicit imagery, some were shattered. But interestingly, just one screen had white noise on display. Hat Kid shook her head and turned around to leave. Then a flicker caught her eye. Hat Kid whirled to the screen with the white noise which now was broadcasting an image that depicted a large dome-like structure. Then it was gone. The screen returned to white noise. Hat Kid shook the TV, desperate to get a better look at the image. But it was no use. Hat Kid left the room with the poisonous taste of disappointment in her mouth. Once she was outside, she saw the police barely being able to hold back the mob of Tumblr users. A man in a green suit and top hat was walking towards her, an air of confidence surrounded him but also anger.
"So, can I have my gallery back now, child?" sneered the man in the green suit.
"Yes you can," muttered Hat Kid, "But it may not be smart to open right now."
"So what?" said the Oncler, "You investigators are trying really hard to sweep this under the rug."
"We will tell everyone what we know, eventually."
"This is Tumblr you little squint," spat the Oncler, "Gossip is much worse the truth. And the people who you suspect may be involved will not do well with rumors."
The Oncler gave Hat Kid a look of contempt and entered the Sexyman Gallery. She sighed and trudged away from the crime scene. There were so many clues but Hat Kid didn't know how to make sense of it. She had to get help.
...
Hat Kid eventually arrived at the place she was looking for. From afar, it looked like a massive pit, ringed with diving boards. But upon closer inspection, the pit was half-filled with multicolored plastic balls. It was essentially a giant ball-pit. Hat Kid approached the diving board and glanced at other people who were jumping off into the pit. It would have been a disturbing sight if the place wasn't a gateway to everywhere on the internet. Hat Kid looked into the pit, thinking hard about her destination, and jumped. The wind rushed past her ears as she sank into the plastic balls. She felt an uncomfortable sensation of the balls sticking to her clothes and skin for a moment. Then it was gone.
Hat Kid opened her eyes and found herself outside of a rusted-colored pub. Exactly where she wanted. Maybe a few inches too close to the entrance but it didn't matter. There was a large circular sign on the front that read, 'The Last Drop'. Hat Kid stepped inside. The pub was rather busy. Loud rock music echoed all around from the speakers surrounding a neon dancefloor, flashing with smiley faces with x eyes. There was a balcony floor that overlooked the lower floor. One of its support beams looked like it was recently fixed. Hat Kid went for a skinny pale woman who had long blue hair and was wearing punk clothes. She was serving drinks to a group of rowdy zombies, their moans and groan echoed around the room. The woman was just about to leave the table when a zombie reached out to towards her face. But she was faster. The zombie fell to the floor with a thud as the woman holstered a luminescent pistol-like weapon. The volume dimmed for a moment then returned to its usual volume. She then turned around and spotted Hat Kid walking towards her. Hat Kid saw her flash a big toothy grin, unconcerned that there was an underaged person in the bar. The pale woman got behind the counter and Hat Kid climbed onto a stool.
"So officer?" said the woman cheerfully, "To what may I owe you this unexpected pleasure?"
"No need to be so polite Jinx," muttered Hat Kid, "Besides how did you know I am in the justice department?"
"Madam," Jinx said with a mocking accent, "I have never ever seen a child walk so stiffly! And besides, I am an expert at identifying the police. Real fan of you guys! Ain't that right, Fishbones?"
Jinx gestured dramatically at a shark-shaped rocket launcher that was mounted on the wall. There was no response.
"You and I know that's a whole lot of poop," said Hat Kid with a grin, "So, you seen anything interesting recently?"
Jinx paused for a second, deep in thought.
"Well, there was that one incident where Steve from Minecraft tried to kill all the zombies because he was too drunk. Oh! Simon from Castlevania barged in here spouting some nonsense about how we were all sinners for drinking here. There was also that one time some ink demon beat up two patrons and threw them outside because they said he was cute. Took almost a week to scrub the ink from the walls."
"I not talking about bar fights," said Hat Kid exasperatedly, "Just anything out of the ordinary. Food poisoning? Graffiti? Strange customers?"
"I'm going to stop you right there girl," said Jinx suspiciously, "This is the internet! It is full of strange customers! If that's what you want, what are you even doing here?"
Hat Kid was at a loss, this wasn't going the way she hoped. The two characters stared at each other.
"Or is it a secret missy?" whispered Jinx excitedly, "You coppers aren't exactly the best at subtlety..."
"Jinx..." began Hat Kid but Jinx's purple eyes focused on something behind the child. There was a soft rustle. Jinx's eyes widened. Hat Kid whirled around on her stool and saw a group of internet users encircling the pair into flanking attack positions. There were Instagram users which had film reels for limbs and cameras for heads, Reddit users, Tumblr users, Snapchat users, and many more. They all froze as Hat Kid pulled out her umbrella. They stared at each other, almost daring the other party to make the first move. An Instagram user suddenly gasped, shuddered, and sprouted blue feathers. The rest of the users did the same, almost like a chain reaction. And now Hat Kid and Jinx were surrounded by thirty Twitter users with rage etched into every line of their feathered faces.
"Well Hat Lady Jr," hissed Jinx, her excitement was barely contained inside her voice, "You wanted something interesting? Let's see how many can I explode today."
All hell broke loose as the Twitter users surged forward, shrieking insults at the pair. Patrons were running left, right and center, trying to get away from the ensuing brawl. Hat Kid dove off her stool as Jinx pulled out her zapper pistol and fired at the nearest Twitter user. Hat Kid leaped into the midst of the Twitter users, slamming her umbrella into their stork-like legs. Jinx let out an exhilarated cackle as she heaved up a minigun from under the counter. Some Twitter users saw the gun and immediately sprang into the air and fluttered on their tiny wings while the others who weren't as fast were gunned down over gloating laughter. Hat Kid saw the flying Twitter users and grabbed her top hat, Suddenly it changed into a witch's hat. She reached into it and threw out a potion which exploded an airborne Twitter user. Soon the air was filled with explosions and bullets as Twitter users were dropping like flies. There were five left who had no hope of taking the pair on. They sprinted for the door.
"YOU'LL😆NEVER😆CATCH😆US😆YOU😆HARLEY😆QUINN😆KNOCK-"
The Twitter user never managed to finish its sentence as the front door exploded. When the dust settled, Hat Kid saw Jinx behind the counter holding Fishbones over her shoulder. Her breathing was ragged in exertion or anger. There was silence for a few seconds.
"I need a full record of all your customers over the last month," said Hat Kid urgently, cutting through the silence, "You may have been serving some bad people over that time. I need to know."
Jinx gave Hat Kid a withering glance and marched behind a door. A few moments later, she came back out with a stack of papers and crammed them into Hat Kid's arms.
"Please leave," muttered Jinx as she ushered Hat Kid out of the bar. Once she was outside, Jinx marched again into the room and slammed the door behind herself. Hat Kid stayed there for a moment, wondering if she should say goodbye. But her cue to leave quickly came as she heard sobbing from inside.