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"Last time, on Total Ninja Island. Both teams entered the gym, and dodgeballs were thrown. Naruto, Lee, and the Toads had a strong start, but Kurotsuchi's planning and Tenten's absurd accuracy put them down, and the Toads lost their second challenge, voting off worrywart Omoi by a slim margin, keeping lazy bones Shikamaru in the game. Will this be it for the local sloth, will the Hawks keep the streak going, or can the Toads pull a comeback? Find out now on Total! Ninja! Island!"
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"Ok team, we need to work together if we wanna beat the Toads again, I'm not gonna let us lose now that we have momentum going for us again!" Tenten said to her team over breakfast two days after the dodgeball challenge. Everyones' bruises had mostly faded, and the tension for when Kakashi would spring the next challenge was thick in the air.
"We've done this well so far without it, don't see the point." Sasuke scoffed as he ate Gai's protein gruel emotionlessly.
"It doesn't need to be combat secrets or anything, just little things. Like why Neji is obsessed with fate, or why Haku swaps where they sleep every night." Tenten offered, getting raised eyebrows from both teammates she listed.
"Mystery is part of being a ninja, Tenten, I just like to keep my mystique." Haku answered without really answering. Getting eye rolls from the other Hawks.
"I see no reason why I should share. What fate decrees cannot be altered by meaningless babbling." Neji countered, getting a harsh look from the weapons mistress.
"This is illogical." Shino added, "Why? We are all competing against one another still, despite being on the same team now. It only makes sense to hold back crucial information at this time."
"Why couldn't Naruto have drafted me…" Tenten sighed, looking across the mess hall at the team that was joking and laughing amongst themselves for the most part, despite the fact that they were down a member. "At least you two aren't super competitive gung-ho like the rest." Tenten said to the two sitting across from her, Haku and Hinata, who both smiled at her.
"A good friend is worth a great deal in times such as these, and friendships last longer than competitions." Haku said, daintily taking a bite of protein guel.
"Y-yes. Friends a-are nice." Hinata stuttered, turning red and poking her fingers together as her eyes slipped over to the Toads team, all having fun and timing who could eat the gruel faster, Naruto or Lee.
"Only been a week and you've already got a massive crush on Naruto don't you?" Tenten asked teasingly to Hinata, who snapped her attention to Tenten in a panic, head swiveling to make sure Neji hadn't heard what the markswoman had just said.
"Don't say that so loud, Neji might hear!" Hinata hissed and Tenten nodded, eyeing the long haired pretty boy again.
"You know, when he first got here, I thought he was kinda hot. Now though, with how he treats you and waxes on about fate? I'd go out with Lee before him." Tenten scoffed, getting a little chuckle from Hinata, relaxing the nervous girl.
"Too bad for Lee, he can't seem to get over his cherry blossom princess." Haku giggled and Hinata and Tenten both laughed along, none of them noticing Kurotsuchi giving their group an appraising look.
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"I've got a pretty good read on everyone at this point, and I think I know who I want for allies." Kurotsuchi said confidently, "The only downside is how to approach them. Karui is easy, I do one more little favor for her and she's on my side the rest of the way, but the other….he's gonna take some convincing."
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HHHHOOOOONNNKKKKK
"We aren't even asleep!" Ino yelled at Kakashi, who had just entered the mess hall and blown his oversized airhorn.
"Well I had to get your attention somehow." Kakashi said airly, "It's challenge time! So everyone come meet me at the stage and we can get started.
"We have a stage?" Fu asked, tilting her head to the left in thought.
"Must have missed it on the tour." Naruto agreed, shrugging as he led the Toads out of the mess hall as a group, the Hawks trailing in separate cliques behind them.
When all 21 remaining competitors arrived at the stage area, they found it literally was just a large wooden stage with simple hanging red curtains, wooden benches arranged similar to the bleachers in the dodgeball challenge.
"Huh, so we do have a stage." Temari mused, looking over the extremely campy stage setup.
"That we do, and for today's challenge, your teams will be putting on a show!" Kakashi said, his one visible eye curving upwards in a weird eye-smile.
"What does this have to do with being a ninja again, we're supposed to be assassins and warriors, not clowns." Sasuke scoffed, and rather than Kakashi answering, Naruto jumped in with an answer.
"Ninja gotta blend in dattebayo. And nothing says forgettable and not suspicious like a street performer. Among other things."
"Exactly!" Kakashi pointed at Naruto, giving the blonde a thumbs up while Sasuke Hn-ed in disgruntlement.
"So today's challenge is going to be a show. Each team will nominate three ninja, who will all perform. I will be scoring each performance out of ten. Highest score wins and the losing team sends someone home via dock of shame, any questions?" Kakashi asked, both teams already glancing around at one another with a keen eye.
"So are all three scores added up, or is it the single highest scoring competitor that wins it for their team?" Temari asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Good question!" Kakashi said, eye-smiling again, brownie points to the little toad for looking underneath the underneath, "It's the highest individual score. So two of your performances could completely bomb, but if the last one gets a perfect score, you win. Now chop chop, you've only got a few hours to come up with your routines!"
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"So we need diversity, hit every angle until we know what Kakashi is looking for to score it perfectly." Shikamaru sat in the confessional, his fingertips pressed against one another and his eyes rapidly moving as his brain worked at furious speeds, "Because I'm certain a seven is going to be a score that lets the ninja get away with their infiltration. Higher scores mean you're doing it without any suspicion. And for a perfect score, it has to appeal to Kakashi personally, his choice for this kind of work…and we know almost nothing about the man…what a drag."
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"Appeal to Kakashi huh…" Naruto trailed off, a wicked smile forming on his face. "I think I know how to do that, and who exactly on our team has the perfect skill set to do it."
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"Naruto is an evil mastermind." Karin deadpanned. "When he gets an idea for a prank or someone messes with people close to him, the revenge is humiliating, and utterly complete. So if I want to help Sasuke again, I've gotta do it carefully…otherwise Naruto will be on me like a wrathful kami."
Karin paused to think, "Probably safer to not do anything…but if it looks like Sasuke's team is going to lose I'll step in, anything for dear Sasuke." Karin's eyes became hearts as she daydreamed about the black haired ninja leading the opposite team.
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"Ok, so who can do what?" Tenten asked, a clipboard and paper in her hands that she had swiped from backstage while the rest of the Hawks sat around and muttered amongst themselves.
"I have a fair bit of experience with music, Tenten, and I have one of my instruments in the cabin, I would be happy to retrieve it for a performance." Haku spoke first, raising their hand and Tenten nodded happily at her friend.
"Perfect, music should be exactly what Kakashi is looking for, anyone else?"
"If we're going music I can rap a little bit. Other than that, nothing." Karui said, and Tenten noted it down, but didn't give her the green light like she had Haku.
"Why are you the one teling us what to do, panda hair, Sasuke is supposed to be our leader!" Sakura protested as Tenten went to continue trying to get her team to work with her.
"Well if captain broody wants to take over he is welcome to it." Tenten snapped back, turning to the seated black haired leader, who scoffed and ignored his teammates, learly deeming the talent show and preparations as beneath him.
"Chill everyone." Kurotsuchi stood up and intervened, "I know my own non-ninja talents are worthless here, all I can do is a bit of pottery and smithing and I doubt Kakashi has a full set up for me to use laying around, so I can try and help manage things."
"And why can't I keep doing it?" Tenten questioned, slightly miffed, raising an eyebrow at Kurotsuchi.
"You're going to be one of our presenters right, alongside Haku?" Kurotsuchi questioned with a knowing look on her face. "After that showing in dodgeball, you've probably got more than a few weapons tricks that can be disguised as carnival acts, and I'm sure we've got enough clothing between all of us to get you in a costume."
Tenten and the rest of the Hawks looked at appraisingly, even Sasuke had an impressed gleam in his eyes as he looked at his fellow dark haired ninja.
"I was going to hold off on offering because I do use weapons in my tricks, and showing weapons blatantly kinda defeats the purpose of hiding your skill as a ninja." Tenten said with a sigh, unearthing a kunai from somewhere on her person and twirling it casually by the ring around a finger. "But if you're certain this is our best option, then I'll go figure out the details, get some fashion input from Haku, and be ready for tonight. You lot can come up with the last act for us." And with that, Tenten walked off, slightly peeved at her team for so quickly dismissing her after her performance in the previous challenge.
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"Seriously, if I make it to the merge, I am dumping pretty much everyone on my team to make friends on the other side." Tenten said with a groan, "Haku and Hinata are the only two I can talk to pretty much at all, and even then, neither one is really…..normal.
Tenten sighed and rubbed her face with one hand. "It's not a bad thing, they're great people and solid friends, but Haku's intentional misdirection and talk like a wise old monk thing and Hinata's complete lack of self confidence, I still wind up carrying a lot of the conversation."
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"So I may or may not have completely underestimated Tenten." Kurotsuchi admitted. "While she might not be as physically dominating as muscle heads, she's got skill to spare, and functional social skills. Her and Naruto are the only two with soft voting blocks that didn't come in with them."
"Makes me glad most of this team is dysfunctional 'prodigies'." Kurotsuchi scoffed at the terms. "For whatever they can do, most of the team can't work together for shit. The second Kakashi throws a teamwork challenge at us, we're toast. But that also means that forming a firm alliance, however hard it may be, guarantees a run of team eliminations."
"Sighed….." Kurotsuchi ran a hand through her short hair and gave it a sharp tug, "And how very hard it's been."
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"Yeah….if we get another season, I'll be the one making the teams, not the little kiddies." Kakashi said into the confessional camera, not even looking up as his attention was absorbed by his orange book, "Not nearly enough clashing personalities on each team. Imagine what kinds of sparks would fly if all the fangirls got put on the same team with Sasuke. Or Naruto and Sasuke on the same team. Or Lee and Neji. Oh, what fun it would be."
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"So we have Samui and Gaara for sure, that covers music and craftsmanship angles. Can anyone do anything else interesting?" Ino asked everyone, noting that Naruto's face was intensely focused and Shikamaru was lazily lying on the ground staring up at the clouds.
"You know my gig Ino, and you know why I can't do it." Shikamaru said plainly, not even looking at his platinum blonde friend.
"And I doubt Kakashi would fall for any of my 'mind reading' gags either." Ino agreed, using air quotes to punctuate her meaning. Reading body language and directing thought, useful on civis, not against their fellow ninja.
"I doubt he'd give us a hang glider to do tricks on so I'm out." Fu chimed in before scampering off after Gaara, who had got to find a suitable log for his performance.
"Karin's hobby is reading trashy romance novels and I've got calligraphy. I mean, I could do some of that, but that can't be what Kakashi is looking for…" Naruto trailed off, his eyes honing in on Temari, who had been suspiciously silent the whole team planning meeting.
"So what do you got, Lee, Chojuro, because we're running out of options here." Ino turned to the two boys, getting a weak shrug from Chojuro and a fist pump from Lee.
"Yosh! While I spend most of my time training, I have been told I eat spicy foods far better than the average person."
"Swordplay and some math puzzles, not much help."
While Chojuro would be of no help in this challenge, Ino and Naruto both looked at Lee appraisingly.
"Ino, go with Lee and see if Gai has any absurdly spicy foods he'd let us use for the challenge." Naruto instructed, getting a nod from his fellow blonde. "Temari and I are going to have a little chat, if you get the food you replace Gaara's carving, if not we go with it."
"So Temari is guaranteed our third act?" Ino asked, looking at Temari with a raised eyebrow, instantly noticing that the girl was slightly red faced and fidgeting slightly.
"I think Temari is our guaranteed victory." Naruto said with a massive shit-eating grin stretching over his face, getting confidence from Ino, and a feeling of dread from Temari.
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"Of all the people to put the pieces together, I'd have never thought it'd be Naruto." Temari sighed, "He better be right and we win because of this, otherwise I'll be embarrassing myself on live tv for nothing."
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"So Temari's our ace in the hole huh…" Karin trailed off, deep in thought. "Well, if it actually seems like she'll end up taking it, I can adjust things to Sasuke's favor. Wouldn't do to have him eliminated before I can get a date after all." Karin giggled creepily, a small trail of blood trickling down one nostril.
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"Welcome one, welcome all!" Kakashi announced into a microphone, a bow tie added to his usual ensemble of facemask and padded flak jacket. "To our ninja talent show! Will our Toads dazzle their way back into safety or will the Hawks steal the show!"
Most of the teams were sitting on the wooden seats in front of the stage, the six performers prepared backstage, along with a single helper for each team.
"I'll let the Hawks go first, so let the show begin!" Kakashi announced, and Tenten walked out on stage, her usual qipao styled shirt replaced with a looser top that dipped in the front for a glimpse of cleavage and enormous baggy sleeves that covered her hands completely.
Giving Kakashi a deep bow, Tenten began her act silently, lurching backwards from the bow and spitting an entire kunai out of her mouth. While the kunai spun in the air above her, Tenten finished her backwards flip, standing on her hands and slipping two more kunais from her sandals. With those two and the one she had spat earlier, Tenten began juggling the kunai with her feet, catching them in between her toes and tossing them back up with a flex of her knees and ankles. And while her qipao was belted around her waist, the handstand gave a clear view of her flexing glutes as she juggled.
With one solid heave after around 30 seconds of foot juggling, Tenten sent all three kunai into the air and landed on her feet again in another deep bow, one hand splayed out to the side and covered by the long sleeves she was wearing while the other went to the cleavage window in her top and pulled out a thin katana, far too impractical for actual combat, but perfect for Tenten's show.
With a flick of her wrist, Tenten maneuvered the sword through the eye of all three kunais as they came down, her off hand coming up and flicking three even smaller kunais up, which she caught just as deftly with her sword, and then repeated the action again with a third and much smaller set of kunai, the eyes just barely being bigger than the width of the sword, and Tenten didn't so much as skim the edge of them.
Now with nine kunai in three different sizes on her sword, Tenten began to twirl, twirling the sword in the opposite direction, the kunai only lightly tinkling like a wind chime and the blur of metal whirled. It was like watching a metal fan inside a fan, and the appearance of kunai seeming to grow out of Tenten's arms only added to the metallic illusion.
Stopping on a dime, Tenten threw her sword downwards hilt first, jarring all nine kunai up and off the sword, and Tenten's hand flew through the air and began juggling them, adding in countless more from her sleeves as she went, until it looked like she was keeping most of an armory in the air above her, shuriken now mixed in with the kunai while the katana remained balanced on its hilt on the stage in front of her.
Using her foot, Tenten knocked her sword to her hands and with three slices, every weapon she had been juggling was now on her sword, covering the length of the blade entirely, all the kunai at the bottom, and all the shuriken at the top. Carrying onward with the momentum of the last Slice, Tenten gave a final bow, and the applause from both teams and Gai rang over the wooden stage.
Tenten was grinning like a maniac, slightly red in the face and catching her breath, but thrilled.
"Well done indeed!" Kakashi crooned, waving a hand as his lone visible eye raked over Tenten and her weapon covered sword. "You get a seven!"
"Wait WHAT!" Sakura yelled as Tenten's face fell slightly and she rolled her eyes, leveling a small glare at Kurotsuchi.
"The best ninja distractions don't reveal weapons, they give the image of a harmless traveler if done right. I can twirl weapons all day, but that doesn't change the fact that they are weapons, and even if the assassination were to be a method other than weapons, I'd still be a memorable figure as capable." Tenten responded, carefully resting her performance sword on her shoulder. "Which I tried to tell you all, but of course I was ignored, thanks Kurotsuchi." Tenten said with finality before marching off backstage.
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"I tried to warn them." Tenten sighed, wiping off the makeup Haku and Hinata had helped her put on viciously. "But nooo, Kurotsuchi has everything under control, we don't need weapons girl trying to lead us, we have the brooding duck head and fate boy!."
Tenten was all but tearing her buns out in frustration. "I'm done trying to put myself out there for the team at this point, whoever wants to work with me is more than welcome to, but if things implode because they can't get along at all, that's on them!"
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"Damn is Tenten good…Should have picked her for my team dattebayo." Naruto ran a hand sheepishly through his hair, "At least her performance confirmed my plan will work, because a weapons show, no matter how good, shouldn't get a seven unless Kakashi's opinions play into the judging."
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"Tenten did a g-good job, I-i just wish I could have helped more." Hinata stuttered out, blushing and poking her fingers together as she instinctively flinched away from the camera.
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"Alright, that's a strong start for the Hawks, let's see how the Toads answer!"
Gaara remained in his seat, leaning against a log he had originally been going to artfully shred, a pouting Fu at his side, and instead Lee took to the stage with a large burlap bag.
"Lee…what exactly are you wearing…" Kakashi trailed off as he noticed that in addition to Lee's white training top, the dark haired boy had added poofy burnt orange leg warmers to his ensemble…very familiar leg warmers.
"Looking good Lee!" Naruto gave his teammate a thumbs up and winked, his orange jacket a close match to Lee's new accessory.
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"It was the only way Gai would let Lee have the spicy food, and Lee was all too happy to start a training weight regime, even if they came wrapped in those hideous leg warmers." Ino groused with a huff.
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"Yosh! For my show, I will eat my way through this entire bag of spicy peppers!" Lee said with a cheer, holding up the bag, pulling out a paper from inside to reveal that the bag was full of little shriveled brown peppers.
"Chocolate Habanero peppers, rated between 300,000 to 450,000 scovilles. Spicy and dangerous around the eyes, but well within edible limits and often used for flavoring dishes due to the unique earthy sweetness behind the extreme heat of the pepper." Choji recited once the pepper came into view.
Without any further prompting, Lee began his feast, biting down on each pepper right up to the stem, making a show of chewing them, and then swallowing before repeating with the next pepper, not slowing down at all.
It took about half the bag before Lee even started to sweat, and he was three quarters of the way through before he started grabbing and eating two at once, working his jaw to keep devouring the peppers.
Just under ten minutes after he started, the entire bag was empty and Lee's eyes were only just beginning to water.
"Yosh, I have completed my challenge!" Lee gave a thumbs up to everyone as he held up the empty bag, and a smattering of applause was given for his performance.
"Hmmmm…" Kakashi trailed off, his one visible eye kept refocusing on the leg warmers Lee now wore. "Well, it's unusual enough that you would draw attention, but not an obvious ninja skill. It's not something you could easily repeat multiple times in one night, so elongated shows wouldn't work. Additionally, it wasn't the most impressive thing in the world. I'll give you a five, workable, but only in the right situation."
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"With the amount Lee ate, he could have gone for something spicier…maybe he was limited by what was on hand?" Choji mused carefully.
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"Kakashi is explaining his scoring when he gives it…why would he do that…" Shikamaru was in just as much thought as his friend, on a completely different topic.
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"Alright then, the lead remains with the Hawks, let's see if they can't widen that gap with the next performance, Kankuro, you're up!"
Kankuro, in his everyday clothes of the catsuit and 'war paint', rolled out a smaller stage onto the stage. Reaching down under it, he extracted three marionette dolls, one on each hand, and the third controlled by his thumbs working in unison.
"Tonight, I will be telling a story!" Kankuro announced in a loud voice, puffing up his chest as he spoke.
"Hold it, your talent is playing with dolls?" Kakashi questioned, raising an eyebrow, and eyeing the three hewn wooden puppets. A maiden, a monstrous thing, and a tower in between them.
"They're not dolls, they're puppets!" Kankuro yelled back, his left eye and fingers twitching.
"Yeah whatever. Sit back down, you get a one for showing up." Kakashi dismissed Kankuro, who growled and stomped off the stage.
"And he gets upset when I tell him it's a bad idea to mention he has those things…" Temari said with a sigh, rubbing her temples, glad that the Hawks had thrown away one of their three performances by choosing Kankuro, but still frustrated with her idiot brother.
"That idiot will never learn." Gaara said in monotone, flicking a pocket knife open and closed as he leaned on his still uncarved log. "If I can trick him into introducing himself as the 'master baiter' for a first date, and then he does it multiple times, he isn't going to stop with the puppets."
Temari snorted and rolled her eyes, enjoying the laughter that rippled through everyone that heard Gaara's snide remark, Fu giggling at Gaara's side.
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"BWA-HAHAHA!" Tenten was laughing uproariously and clutching her stomach. "Great choice Kurotsuchi, he failed before he even got to do anything."
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"That's the last time I believe anything Kankuro says…" Kurotsuchi exhaled heavily out of her nose. "Super awesome storytelling indeed."
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"Alrighty then, now that the Hawk's resident weirdo is done trying to scar us for life.
"Oh screw off Kakashi!" Kankuro yelled form his seat in the stands.
"We have the next competitor for the Toads, Samui, you're up!"
Samui strutted onto the stage, dressed in a pair of tight yoga pants, a loose half shirt that exposed her six pack and hung off one shoulder, leaving a more than healthy amount of cleavage showing, and a snapback hat on sideways, only the ends of her bobbed hair sticking out from the sides of the hat that was labeled 'COOL 8' in bright lettering.
The only thing brought up with her, was a pair of microphones, one of which she casually tossed onto the ground near the edge of the stage before she began her performance without any introduction.
Samui was rapping. Not just normal rapping, but diss rapping. And her target was the entire Hawks team. She called them out as a team, as individuals, and then implied they were all terrible in bed.
The last one finally crossed the line for Karui, who leapt up onto the stage to defend her team, grabbing the microphone Samui had dropped and began rapping back at her, calling out Samui herself, and then taking pot shots at members of the Toads.
The two were angrily spitting verses at one another, literally pressed forehead to forehead, when Samui dropped the bomb.
"Your words show slack and your dress is wack, but thanks for helping me knock you fools back. The points are mine, feels so divine, all because you jumped in to rhyme." Samui dropped her mic as Karui took a moment to realize that she had, in fact, ended up helping Samui's performance.
The Toads all applauded Samui, who took a bow with a wide smirk on her face, and the Hawks were all collectively glaring at KArui, who was seriously sweating.
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"Well…at least if we lose, we know who to send home." Choji said with a shrug. "It's nice that she wanted to defend all of us like that, but its still just a competition."
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"I am in deep shit." Karui groaned, face palming. "Samui knows I have a hair trigger when it comes to rap battles, and she exploited the shit out of it. Full props to my friend and all, but if I make it past tonight, she's going down."
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"Save Karui tonight, and I'll have myself an ally for life." Kurotsuchi joke rhymed with a chuckle. "But seriously, she's either getting chucked tonight, or she's mine for the rest of the game. Either way, I win."
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"Well done indeed." Kakashi said with a polite clap. "No obvious combat skills and was plenty entertaining. I'll give you an 8 out of 10."
"Huh, shouldn't we get more points than that!" Ino yelled at Kakashi, glaring down at the one eyed host.
"Well, Samui clearly had a plan, she brought out the extra microphone and everything, and the personal disses wouldn't work on a random crowd." Kakashi reasoned. "That and it would have been much more entertaining if she got Karui into a cat fight with her, in all its clothing ripping goodness." Kakashi finished with either a blink or a wink and a thumbs up.
"Perv!" Sakura shouted at the host, who completely ignored her.
"Alright, Toads take the lead," Kakashi continues, still ignoring Sakura's insults. "Final performer for the Hawks is Haku, will they retake their lead, or has Samui already clinched it for the Toads with her epic rap battle!"
"Let's go Haku!" Tenten cheered from her seat with the Hawks, ignoring the stink eye she got from both Neji and Kurotsuchi for encouraging her own teammate.
Haku came out onto the stage in a very loose kimono. Loose enough that it hung off both of their shoulders and the only thing hiding their decency was a chest wrap bound tightly around their chest, completely hiding their gender still. Haku's hair was completely down, rather than held mostly back in a tight bun. Held in manicured hands was a shamisen and playing pick, both held expertly.
"My gentle lords and ladies, thank you for your time this evening." Haku greeted everyone, falling completely into character, "The song I have prepared for you this evening tells of the journey that is love."
And with that, Haku began to play. Kneeling gently, the song began softly, and Haku hummed along in tune with their shamisen, slowly but surely speeding up the pace and emotion behind the music. They never sang a coherent word, but the sounds Haku made were deep and matched their flawless playing of the stringed instrument, their body swaying in tune with the music as they continued their performance.
All too soon, it came to an end, and Haku rose gracefully and took a bow, not a drop of sweat falling from their brow as their make up remained perfect, even after the intense performance.
"Thank you again." Haku said, bowing with a sweep of their arm, the pick held loosely in the extended hand while the other held the instrument to their chest.
The applause was strong and came from both teams, and several of the boys, Kankuro, Chojuro, and Shino all had small trails of blood leaking from their noses. Not to mention Temari, Tenten, and Fu fighting their own blushes.
"Yes, well done indeed." Kakashi said, applauding, but nowhere as enthusiastically as he might have been. "I am curious, is your performance that of the geisha, or the courtesan?"
The difference between the two, for those who knew, was paper thin. Both accompanied the wealthy back in ninja times and acted as refined and beautiful companions, in a non-sexual way of course. The only notable difference was that geisha were female and courtesans were male.
"Whichever you prefer it to be Kakashi-san." Haku replied with a sweet smile, eyes closed as they left the stage with a small spring in their step.
"Well, because there's still some mystery behind you, I'll give it a nine. Mostly because I can laugh at the three idiots who all got nosebleeds from potentially another dude."
Kankuro and Shino both froze and began inwardly ranting at themselves, while Chojuro's blush doubled.
"Either way, Hawks retake the lead, and the Toads will need a perfect score to reclaim the win!" Kakashi announced.
"Yeah, you hear that Toads, another one of you losers is biting the dust tonight, Sasuke-kun has led us to victory!" Sakura cheered and Tenten rolled her eyes from her seat next to Haku, who had stored their instrument again and was patiently waiting for the Toads final performer to take the stage.
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Naruto was grinning in full force, all his teeth showing as his smile stretched from ear to ear.
"All this observing Kakashi finally paying off, time to use our secret weapon!"
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"The final performer for the Toads, Temari! Hopefully she doesn't scar us like her brother tried to."
"Oh come on!" Kankuro griped as Kakashi took another shot at him while his sister took the stage for the Toads. Dressed mostly in her usual wear, Temari looked slightly uncomfortable but quickly shook it off as she pulled the large metal bar off her back and set it down vertically on the stage. Then some music began playing from backstage as Karin made use of the boombox as unmistakable club music began playing across the stage. And Temari, with slightly smudged makeup and her normal outfit ruffled and slightly more revealing than normal, began pole dancing on the tool she had brought on stage. Showing off her excellent balance as the non-anchored object was used to hold her entire body weight without falling over.
This time it was every single boy in the audience, including Kakashi, who lost control of their noses, as Temari flawlessly swung her way around the tool, clicking it open to reveal a massive fan rather than a steel beam as he dance transitioned from a pole dance into a fan dance, making use of the large covering to flaunt and tease.
Everyone, on both teams, was completely entranced.
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Shikamaru sat completely dumbfounded, mouth hanging open and eyes glazed slightly
"Holy…"
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"Shit." Karin had her arms crossed and a deeply annoyed expression on her face. "Naruto is slyer than a fox, always has been and always will be. Gets it from his mom, my aunt. How he talked super strict and serious Temari into POLE DANCING I don't know. But if this keeps up, she's easily gonna get a perfect score, which means Sasuke's team will lose…"
Karin trailed off as a wicked smile bloomed across her face.
"Good thing I volunteered to be the one backstage helping with the music and other set up."
**Camera Static**
Karin, backstage with her boombox and all the other equipment for the stage, had a handful of kunai ready as Temari's show began to come to a close, the music beginning to wind down as Temari began one final spin around her once again closed fan.
A practiced hand threw the ninja tools, and all three knives hit the same stagelight, destroying the rope holding it above Temari's head and sending it plummeting down at her.
The entire audience was too slow to react, but Temari wasn't a trained ninja for nothing. Pivoting and changing her body language from smooth and seductive to sharp and serious in a heartbeat, Temari kicked up her closed fan and smacked the falling stage light aside where it landed harmlessly across the stage.
Turning back at everyone, Temari took a short bow as the music petered out and most of the audience burst into applause.
"Well, there that goes." Sakura groaned, holding her head in her hands after Temari's steller showing, even going as far as to avoid the falling stage light.
"Zero points."
Kakashi's announcement cut through the applause and had both teams staring at him with slack jaws, Temari herself had a vein bulging in her forehead and was gritting her teeth in fury.
"You would have gotten a nine if the stage light never fell." Kakashi began explaining, Karin only now reappearing from backstage, a calm smile on her face that Ino and Shikamaru caught immediately.
"Then it would have gone from best individual score to best total score and the Toads would have won." Kakashi continued. "But with the light falling, you had two choices, take the hit, or avoid it. Avoiding it not only threw off your entire performance, it also forced you to reveal serious ninja skills, completely blowing your cover. While taking the hit would hurt, might even break a bone and concuss you, you would permanently be dismissed as a threat as clearly untrained in combat, and injured at the time of assassination. That would have scored a perfect ten." Kakashi finished explaining as the Toads and Hawks took in his words.
"So that means we win, right?" Sakura asked, a smile starting to form on her face as she realized that while Kakashi described two ways the Toads COULD have won, they ended up blowing it.
"Exactly, victory to the Hawks once again! Toads, you fought your best, but come tonight, there's gonna be one less little amphibian in my camp, now I'll see everyone at the campfire!"
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Karin had a shaky smile on as she twirled a kunai in one hand. "Oh well Temari, I tried to give you a chance for the perfect score and you blew it, guess you gotta go home now." Karin giggled, "Did you see that Sasuke-kun, all to help you win."
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"Man…I just don't know who to vote for tonight." Naruto slumped over, a sad expression on his face.
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"I don't care what Karin has been trying to convince everyone, all we needed to do was let Temari strut around like a slut and we'd have won." Ino groused, clearly upset with the redhead.
"And with her gone, that's one less competitor for Sasuke-kun!"
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"I know Karin messed up with the stage light thing, but it wasn't completely the reason we lost, and she's family." Naruto continued rationalizing to himself
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"Yosh! Karin was simply trying to help Temari unleash her full potential and claim a perfect score, I can't fault anyone for helping unlock their full potential!" Lee said cheerily, orange leg warmers of weights still wrapped around his legs, "If only there were a better term for such burning passion to improve…"
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"Note to self." Kakashi deadpanned, "Keep Lee FURTHER away from Gai.
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"But Temari was so uncomfortable doing a show like that for everyone, and I can't be mad at her after she followed my plan." Naruto was sitting upside down in the confessional, massaging his temples with his fingers as he debated with himself.
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"Dance like a stripper Temari, you'll be fine Temari, just take advantage of the perv Temari!" Temari was raging, her clothing fixed, make up removed, and fan clipped to her back.
"I can't even be mad at the blonde idiot because it would have WORKED if it weren't for his stupid cousin."
**Camera Static**
"Welcome back my slimy little Toads, to the campfire elimination. You all know the drill, everyone is gonna vote for the person they want to go home, and once I've tallied the vote, the biggest loser will be banished from my ninja camp of wonderful ninja-ness forever, never to return!" Kakashi said cheerily, not at all put off by the sullen and upset Toad team.
"Now shoo-shoo, you have votes to cast."
The voting process took longer than normal, as Naruto spent a good fifteen minutes in the confessional voting before Gai had to barge in and drag him out, stuffing one of the two papers he was mulling over into the vote box.
"Alright, now that we are finally done…." Kakashi trailed off to glare at Naruto who laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.
"These tasty morsels of marshmallow safety go to…Lee, Samui, Gaara, Fu, Ino, Chojuro, Shikamaru." Kakashi tossed the marshmallows as he announced the names, leaving only Naruto, Karin, and Temari sitting in front of the campfire without them.
"Next marshmallow goes to…Naruto." Naruto sighed loudly and caught the marshmallow with one hand.
"Not even sure where you picked up the stray vote to be honest though dude, you did your best today." Kakashi said with a shrug and Naruto laughed in response.
"I voted for myself dattebayo, couldn't vote for anyone else on my team when they were all trying so hard to win for us." Naruto said with a sunny smile as the rest of his team except for Lee all face palmed in exasperation while Gai could be heard complimenting Naruto's youth in the distance.
"Well okay then, final marshmallow, two campers. Karin, cutting down that stage light gave you guys a shot at the perfect score, but you had it in the bag without you doing anything. And Temari, looked good until you had that little curveball thrown your way and ya blew it, would have hurt to have a stage light land on you, but at least then you would have won."
Kakashi took a minute to pause and let the tension build, both Temari and Karin glaring down one another as the rest of the Toads watched on.
"And the final marshmallow goes to…."
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"Temari."
Temari caught the marshmallow, the tension draining out of her shoulders as Karin's face turned red with anger.
"You idiots seriously wanted to keep her over me!" Seeing she wasn't getting any sympathy from her former team, Karin stormed off in a huff, flicking her hair as she left to the dock of shame and completely ignoring Naruto's wave and yells of reassurance.
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"Well, another one bites the dust as sabotaging Karin gets found out and given the boot." Kakashi spoke from in front of the dying campfire, hands in his pockets as he nonchalauntly spoke to the camera.
"Next time, we get to see if our little ninjas can survive all that I have in store for them, and if the Hawks will continue flying high, or if the Toads can leap back into first place. Will Sasuke being an uke draw more chaos, will Haku ever reveal their gender, will Tenten lose it with her team, will Lee ever be a normal person?"
"Find out next time on Total Ninja Island!"
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Well….this was meant to come out like 3 months ago. I got stuck on the second half of the talent show trying to write raps for Samui and Karui, but I absolutely could not take myself seriously doing it, so low and behold, I just described it. Kinda boring, yeah. A mercy compared to me trying to rap. Yes. It's still a 7k word chapter so that's nothing to complain about in my opinion, but whatever.
Who knows when the next chapter will come, kinda in a not so great place right now, but I got this one finished so maybe things are starting to look up.
Happy Reading everyone -CenturionAfricanus