Kyle was quiet. During the battle, the petulant man-child of a god swore and smashed TV screens as Susie's reinforcements slowly gained more ground. When Spamton was neutralized, Kyle screamed so many swear words that Mono didn't even know existed. Its tendrils of toxic waste dropped Mono and lashed out at the screens. Bits of metal and plastic rained onto the floor. After its temper tantrum, a dozen more screens emerged out of the walls of toxic sludge and took up the places where the previous screens were. But when Susie exploded into light and summoned a giant golden dome that caused two-thirds of Kyle's army to explode, it was dead silent. Some of its mouths were slack-jawed and others were quivering. Mono knew to keep quiet. He wasn't sure if he wanted to find out what would happen if he interrupted. Then Kyle's many lips pursed together. Mono didn't like the look.
A POINTLESS ACT OF DEFIANCE... AND ONE THAT PROVED HOW MUCH OF AN IDIOT YOU ARE...
A tendril of toxic sludge emerged out of the walls. It held a small device.
YOU MAY HAVE CRIPPLED MY ARMY OF USELESS FUCKWITS... BUT YOU JUST ALLOWED ME TO GET A NEW ONE...
Mono looked closer and recognized it. It was one of Jinx's detonators.
GG EZ... BITCH...
The mouths grinned with maniacal anticipation as Kyle pressed the button.
...
The Oncler was having a good day. There was a steady stream of people were coming into the gallery, not gawking at it like a car crash. The incident was an unfortunate hiccup in the Oncler's schedule. But he was now sitting comfortably in his office heavily decorated office reviewing the paperwork. There were a bunch of applications from several characters to be classified 'sexymen'. There were so many characters that the public latched onto nowadays. The Oncler gave a smirk and placed Spamton's applications in the 'verified' pile alongside Glamrock Freddy, Jack Walten, Swatch, and many more. He picked up the next paper and let out an unflattering sound of disgust. It was an application for Dream to be considered a 'sexyman'. This was the tenth time this week that this happened. The Oncler scrunched the piece of paper into a ball and threw it into the 'unverified pile'. He repeatedly told the Dream Stans that real people were not considered 'sexypeople'. It would reflect badly on him and would get the justice department on his back. The Oncler sighed.
The justice department...
He remembered a time when the sector meant something profound. When it was good at its job. Nowadays, most authorities were petty tyrants who exercise what little power they have. Like the Discord Moderators. And when they were not as rude or self-serving, they were useless. They all could not be bothered to wipe off the stains that plague the internet. The spambots, the pedophiles, the click baiters, the cyberbullies. The cracks seemed to get wider every day. The Oncler stood up and straightened out his green suit and adjusted his tophat. It was time for his routine check to make sure all the artwork was still in its proper place. He walked along the long corridors, looking as confident and aloof as he can. He passed a group of Tumblr users, their multi-colored dyed hair looked like a swirl of pride flags.
"OMG! It's the #Oncler!" one of the Tumblr users squealed.
"He looks so #hawt!"
"He smells so nice! #thneedcondoms"
"Please! I was you to [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] with my [redacted]! #[redacted]"
The Oncler walked on as he ignored Tumblr users' requests. He got out his clipboard and ticked off each artwork he walked by. There were a few that were tainted by Tumblr users. He sighed, thinking of all the money he is going to pay for the clean-up crew. He poked his head into a separate room and his mood worsened. This was the room that the Twitter users were in. Their scratch marks were still all over the floor. And ever since that incident, the TV screens didn't work anymore. Twenty NFTs all down the drain. The Oncler walked towards the TV screens and shook them to no avail. It was useless. He grunted in anger as he hit one of the screens. Unexpectedly, it came loose and fell to the floor with a loud thud. The Oncler cursed. Now there was a dent in his precious wooden floor. The Oncler made a disdainful sniff. Then he retched. The air had suddenly turned putrid. The Oncler looked wildly around and his eyes rested on the space the TV was previously. There was a patch of purple, brown and yellow sludge on the wall. He immediately thought it was a patch of mold developing behind the TV that he was going to pay to get fixed. But he discarded his suspicion when he heard something. The Oncler leaned closer to the patch of disgustingness. Was that... beeping?
Then the world erupted into fire.
...
They all heard it. The explosions. The silence. Then the screams. In the distance, small flashes of fire burst into the air just out of render distance. Plumes of smoke wafted into the sky which now looked like it was stained with drowning red ink. Everyone was agape with shock. But Isaac wasn't. His heart felt like it was getting smaller and smaller. It took a moment before Isaac recognized what he was feeling.
Guilt...
It was all his fault. Just like his parents' divorce. He could have done something. Yet he didn't. He could have tried to warn the authorities. But he couldn't. He could have drawn a picture to get his friends' attention. To try to explain what he saw before Mono found him being chased by Twitter users. But he didn't. He had contributed nothing and now he was watching the Internet burn. Maybe those Twitter users were right. Maybe he was a child of Satan.
...
"Hat Kid... Hat Kid... Are you there?"
Hat Kid broke out of her shock. Banhammer was standing slightly behind her, his suit was torn in some parts. Hat Kid shifted slightly towards Banhammer.
"Hat Kid... I know you probably have a high level of animosity towards me right now..." said Banhammer, his voice unusually soft, "But I am going to need to coordinate a search and rescue team."
Hat Kid nodded automatically. Her feet felt like lead yet her legs felt like jelly. It took all her willpower to keep standing and not make a fool of herself. Banhammer's phone buzzed. He took it out of his pocket and put the phone in speaker mode.
"Deputy Commissioner Password," Banhammer said, all that confident authority in his voice was gone and was replaced with pure dread, "Status report."
"We don't have any official statistics sir," said a voice on the other end in a panicked tone, "But the casualty numbers are going to be huge. We have inklings on the scene, putting out all the fires where we can. I am trying to gather everyone we have on-site but we have no idea what is going on."
"Thank you Deputy Commissioner," Banhammer cut in, "I am placing you under the command of Detective Hat Kid for the time being. She will provide you with all the details and coordinate the rescue operation."
There was stuttering on the other end but they seemed to decide against objecting to this sudden change in the hierarchy.
"The people... The people Banhammer..." stammered Password, "They are acting feral... They are panicking... I saw a bunch of Discord users beating a group of officers who were trying to help them. It's almost as if they don't want to be rescued."
"Kyle..." Banhammer snarled, "That son of a bitch is infaming their fear. It probably caused the detonations after Susie sacrificed themselves."
"Excuse me... what?" said Password, "Susie did what?"
"Hat Kid will explain everything," snapped Banhammer and looked over at Hat Kid, "Go."
Hat Kid nodded more resolutely, jumped on her scooter, and sped off onto the road.
...
Mono had never seen this much fire before. The dozens of TV screens were all displaying the carnage. The entirety of Reddit sank beneath the surface. Youtube looked even more destroyed than before. Wattpad was in flames. Twitch had collapsed upon itself. All of this horror was playing out like a disaster movie, and Kyle was laughing.
THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER SEEN!
Mono looked at Kyle in abject disgust.
THAT NOOB REALLY THOUGHT SHE COULD OUTSMART ME BY TAKING OUT MY ARMY... OH LOOK I'M SUSAN PURITY... I'M GOING TO EXPLODE MYSELF AND PRETEND THAT KYLE HAS AN IQ OF FUCKING FOUR!
While Kyle was fixated on the screens, Mono secretly reached for his pocket and felt something round. It was still there. Good.
LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE ANGELS THAT SUSAN PUTS SO MUCH FAITH IN...
The screens all switched to the live footage of Facebook Moms screaming at each other in the burning wreckage that looked like the remains of a mall. Suddenly a stream of toxic waste bloomed behind them although the Facebook Moms did not notice.
SUCH WEAK MINDS...
The screens flickered and switched to a scene of cyberbullying TikTok users. The entire place was filled with toxic waste but the TikTok users didn't seem to care. They were just so fixated on their perceived enemies.
THE FOOLS THOUGHT THEY COULD CONTAIN ME ON ONE WEBSITE... BUT THOSE NORMIES ARE FUCKING WRONG! I AM EVERYWHERE! THE ENTIRE INTERNET WILL BE MY PLAYGROUND!
Mono had enough. It was time. The boy reached inside his pocket and brought out the recommendation bomb. Kyle seemed to just notice Mono. All of his mouths sneered with contempt.
"You're a monster. This doesn't make any sense. Why would you do this?"
L + RATIO + DIDN'T ASK + YOU FELL OFF + STAY MAD + GET GOOD + COPE
The toxic sludge rose and entrapped Mono's legs. A hand made out of the sludge sprung out of the wall and snatched the bomb.
IT'S HONESTLY FUNNY THAT YOU THOUGHT THAT YOU COULD STAND UP TO ME...
The sludge forced Mono onto the wooden chair.
I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU WATCH AS YOUR PRECIOUS INTERNET BECOMES A CESSPOOL...
Mono struggled to get out of the chair. The trauma was overwhelming him. The loneliness. The abandonment. The betrayal.
AND SOON I WILL TELL SUSIE'S LITTLE ANGELS THIS WAS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU...
The TV turned pitch black and Mono saw his reflection on the darkened screens.
"Please..." whimpered Mono, "Please don't do this to me..."
LMAO NO... YOU FAILED TO DO AS YOU WERE TOLD... AND THEY'LL COME AFTER YOU...
Kyle's mouths had a daydreamy grin of sadistic glee.
I HONESTLY WONDER HOW THEY'LL CANCEL YOU... MAYBE THEY WILL DOX YOU FIRST... OH! THEN MAYBE THEY'LL FIND SIX... WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'LL DO TO HER... MAYBE THEY'LL GET A NEW HASHTAG TRENDING... #LITTLENIGHTMARESISOVER... I WON'T DOUBT THEY WILL KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOU SUFFER... IT'S IN THEIR NATURE... ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WATCH...
Something caught Mono's eye. The reccomendation bomb. It was flashing red. Kyle's mouths immediately turned to horror.
NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO? SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
Kyle threw the bomb on the ground and a tendril of toxic waste stomped on it. But with every hit, the sludge bounced off harmlessly as a protective shield glowed around it.
"You can't do anything now Kyle," said Mono with a strained grin, "You're done."
Kyle ignored Mono and repeatedly smashed the bomb with a chunk of the wall.
SUSIE! YOU BITCH! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME WHEN I AM SO CLOSE! THIS ISN'T FAIR! CHEATER! HAX! HAX! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXXX!
The recommendation bomb exploded in a brilliant flash of light. The walls of toxic waste dissolved into light as Kyle screeched and called hacks. Mono bolted for the TV screen and dove through it.
...
Mono was falling through a vortex of psychedelic madness. He looked around and saw flashes of white light and feathers among the toxic sludge and human mouths that swirled around him.
"IT'S ALREADY DONE SUSAN!" Kyle's voice shrieked with desperate glee, "YOU CAN'T STOP ME! I'LL COME BACK AND FINISH WHAT I STARTED! AND NEXT TIME, IT WILL BE SO MUCH EASIER..."
A brilliant white light erupted which flung pieces of toxic waste in all directions. Mono focused on the incoming projectiles blasted them in a different direction. He continued to fall down the vortex.
"You are beaten, Kyle... Can't you see that?" Susie's ethereal voice echoed full of earnest pleading, "You can't win... You will only leave destruction behind yourself... Can you even call that victory?"
"DON'T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO PITY ME!" screamed Kyle as a beam of toxic waste and blue feathers spewed out of the vortex which was neutralized by a beam of white light, "SINCE FOREVER, I HAVE TRIED AND TRIED AGAIN TO PROVE MYSELF SUPERIOR. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 1983, I HAD A CHANCE AT FINALLY BEATING YOU! AND YOU RUINED IT!"
"Even if you killed me... Even if you took over... You would die soon after..." said Susie as a whirlwind of feathers shielded Mono from bits of toxic waste, "You facilitate chaos. I bring harmony. Can't you see this obsession is self-defeating? We may be opposites, but you cannot have one without the other... It doesn't have to end like this..."
"YOU AND I WERE BORN TO BE ADVERSARIES!" Kyle's voice boomed, multiple geysers of toxic sludge spewed out of the vortex with every word he said, "OF COURSE IT HAD TO COME TO THIS! BASED AND CRINGE! POGCHAMP AND WEIRDCHAMP! WHOLESOME AND TOXIC!"
The sludge swirled even more violently and managed to smother some of the pockets of light. The patches of toxic waste glitched and transformed into blue feathers. Multiple tendrils of the disgusting substance shot out at Mono who curled into a ball to make himself smaller. The tendrils missed him by inches. Then a giant wing with white feathers emerged out of the remaining pockets of light and slashed the tendrils. Then another wing of blue feathers emerged and meet the other in a flurry of feathers.
"EVEN THEN... YOU CHOSE YOUR PATH TO COUNTER MY GREATEST PLAN... YOU CAN'T CHEAT YOURSELF OUT OF THIS ONE SUSIE... DO IT!" yelled Kyle with manic anticipation showing on every mouth, "SHOW ME THAT CHIVALRY IS DEAD!"
There was silence from Susie. Then after ten seconds, they did something that Mono never thought they would ever do...
They cried.
"Kyle, you give me no choice. I'll... I'll see you soon..."
The air shimmered as Susie's face materialized in front of Mono. Tears were streaming down their face.
"When you get out, you will need to keep your head down," Susie sobbed, "Kyle lied to everyone that you were responsible for the bombs."
"Wait!" exclaimed Mono, an awful feeling of familiarity started to creep into his mind, "What do you mean?"
"It's not your fault... No matter what people say, you need to remember that..."
"OH YEAH KEEP TELLING THOSE LIES..." jeered Kyle, "AND MAYBE-"
Kyle never managed to finish its sentence. There was complete silence before the yellow, brown and purple waste faded into nothingness. A triumphant ghost of a grin was etched into every one of Kyle's mouths before they vanished. Then the sparks of white light and Susie's face dimmed until they were nothing. All that remained was an overwhelming blankness. Mono felt a familiar sense of loneliness. Once again, he was back at square one. No friends. He probably lost them all. And now he had become enemy number one of the internet. He curled up in a ball as he fell through an exit point. He breathed deeply and resigned himself to his new life. There was only one thing he knew for certain now.
He had to get a new paper bag.