A/N: Welcome to the third revised chapter, it took long because I ran into a block as well as summer plans.

(POV: ?)

Goddamn it. What in the world am I doing here. One moment I was just about to rest in the Throne of Heroes after that fustercluck in Orleans, the next I'm standing in a very wrecked mansion, with a one armed teenager and fairy behind me. They aren't the worst thing about this though. No, in fact the worst thing about this is her of all my fellow Alters, it had to be the Saber. A voice, I assume which belongs to neither boy nor fairy, makes one thing very clear with me. "Dragon Witch of Orleans, protect the vessel and make a hasty retreat as soon as possible. Do whatever it takes."

And I do just so. I begin to clash with Saber, attempting to rile her into a pointless rage by endlessly antagonizing her, from jabs at her pride to direct insults. In the corner of my eye, I see a boy and girl rush behind me and seize the boy, fairy in tow. Saber tries to break off to pursue them, but I stop her from doing such, however since I'm using my sword instead of my spear at the moment, I'm stuck trying to match her movements to prevent her from chasing behind. Once I'm sure they've left, I sucker stab Saber in the stomach, twist my manifested sword, pull it out, and flee. I just hope that left her staggered for long enough, I'm really not in the mood to have a long and drawn out battle right after my resummoning.

I follow the trail of mana I presume to be my Master's, finally stopping at a very nice house. I walk inside, and I see the faces of the boy and his friends, or I at least assume they're friends. All eyes are on me, so I state the first thing on my mind. "Who the hell are all of you?" The fairy begins to explain, "I'm Othinus, the boy who's shoulder I'm sitting on is Kamijou Touma, the girl and boy over there are Tohsaka Rin and Shirou Emiya, judging based off of your looks and accent, I assume you to be Jeanne d'arc. I'm surprised you turned out so different." That answer was satisfactory, so I ask my next one, "Who summoned me? And how exactly?" Well it was 2 questions instead of 1, unimportant. Othinus begins to speak up again, "There was a summoning circle in the room we were in, it was made to summon something a lot more worse than your existence, thankfully I was able to alter it to an extent that would work, the catalyst, well it was incidentally, his arm. Worry not, there's no grail at stake that we know of, we simply needed a quick counter against the Saber class servant."

At some point during our conversation Kamijou had left to shower himself and a very large thud could be heard, with a resounding "Rotten luck." That was the moment in which I realized my master is incompetent as well. A couple of minutes later, he returns fully dressed. "Quick question," Kamijou begins, "Am I supposed to have red marks on my back? They look like command seals but aren't they supposed to materialize on one of your hands?" Tohsaka raises an eyebrow. "Wait, what?" Tohsaka promptly lifts the back of Kamijou's orange shirt and what we see is indeed three command seals, they form the shape of a dragon's head. Othinus joins in, adding her take on it, "Command seals appear on the right arm of the master, Kamijou's right arm is a literal anti supernatural force, so it must've relocated to a more suitable place for command seals to manifest. Why they didn't just form on his left arm, we shall not know. There's probably for no reason in particular."

"I'm kind of concerned about this whole summoning a heroic spirit thing. This won't effect my life or anything will it? Like, I won't get kidnapped by any crazy witches and put in a flying fortress only to be saved by some magic cabal or something right? I won't be dragged into any form of an age old traditional war or whatever?" Kamijou says all this with surprisingly enough, a straight face, considering what he said sounds like something out of a, what's the word? Fanfiction. Yes that sounds like some sort of joke, but he means it in all seriousness. Rin doesn't help in abating his worries with a simple, "Eh probably."

(POV, Kamijou)

Y'know, summoning an ancient hero wasn't necessarily on my bucket list of things to do, but hey I wasn't gonna complain, I just had a simple question on whether or not it would effect my life in any significant way. Rin, in no way whatsoever, helped in either confirming or denying my worries.

"Right, anyway," I decide to start asking some more questions, "a few things. When am I going home? And what do we do now that our attempt in silencing Saber has gone wrong? That's uh, that's about it."

Rin stares at me with what feels like disappointment, or confusion, can't tell with her, but responds anyway, "Saber has probably relocated at this point, so it's going to be a little while before we find her again. About the going home part, there's nothing stopping you from going back. I mean surely you have tons of things you're missing by going to the other side of the world to fight a corrupted legend," she mutters something else under her breath, from what I could manage to hear it was, "I can't believe this guy is a Kamijou." Emiya gives me a forgiving look. "It is probably best for you to go back anyway, lest you wish to be placed under the watchful eye of the Clock Tower."

And so, in a matter of hours, after lunch, a good old time of watching me suffer at the hands (or rather jaws) of Index, we're off, to home and a moment to relax, though what Saber said did kind of linger in my head.