AUTHORS NOTE: Just a quick word to say thank you once again for the overwhelming support and encouragement as I continue to write this story (admittedly very slowly, but now I can say I am nearly there as I would estimate I am about three quarters of the way through with everything I had planned to include in it, and thanks again to all my loyal readers for giving me the inspiration to get past my monumental block which I had and which forced me to post the story in this manner!) It is something which I have never done before, as normally my stories have always been complete in skeleton form before I start posting. Thank you all for your patience for my updates as well. Most of my regular readers know I work shifts 6 days out of 7 and I have a home and a family so obviously they come first, but I really do try and update when I can.

I just want to take a moment to try and explain what sort of character I am portraying Chris as, as I have seen a number of comments about the way I am having him behave. I am essentially trying to portraying him as completely self-centred and weak, but very importantly not evil – Elizabeth is the evil one in this story.

CHAPTER 77

(CHRIS)

As the door closes, I drop my head into my hands. As much as I want to, I can't blame Ana and Christian for what they said. Hell, a part of me now feels like dirt for the way I have treated Gideon all these years. I was horrified and shocked to the core when I sat and watched and listened to the catalogue of abuse, manipulation and cruelty that Elizabeth, Geoff and Eric Landon participated in. I know I should take some responsibility as I never wanted to be a father to him, I was only interested in a relationship with Elizabeth… I was besotted with her and so I believed everything she told me.

I was in shock and… denial, but I know deep down that doesn't excuse my behaviour towards Gideon when I went into that room to him after Elizabeth was taken away. I was angry, mainly at myself for being completely clueless all these years and realising so forcibly that my entire marriage was a lie and for believing everything that Elizabeth had told me. So, I lashed out looking to shift that blame on to someone else. I was looking for someone to blame for my gullibility. Unfortunately, I lashed out at the person who deserved it least. Ana and Christian came to offer an olive branch but my pride prevented me from accepting it. I threw it back in their faces and as a result I know I have probably now lost my own children as well, but it is possibly for the best because if I was so blinded to Elizabeth's actions then they are all better off without me in their lives. They have each other and from what Ana and Christian said they also have Gideon and Ryan. One thing just keeps playing over and over in my mind though. The therapist that I engaged for Gideon. Elizabeth gave me his fucking name, surely? She told me he had been recommended to her, but surely she knew the name? Surely, she realised that was the very person who they had tormented and blackmailed in college? The man she had watched Geoff and Eric violate for her sick gratification. Gideon's question to her now haunts me, when he asked her if she had watched Hugh violate him.

I wasn't there at that time, I was working. But I keep going over the conversation I had with Elizabeth at that time about the therapist coming to the house rather than going to his office. I had asked her why he was coming into our home and she had said that it was to make Gideon feel safe and secure and to get him to open up. Safe?! He was trapped and violated in his own home, a home which as Ana pointed out to me, wasn't really a home to him anyway. I have to find out, I have to know what she was thinking. The awful thought that I keep coming back to is she knew exactly who he was and she got me to engage him on purpose. But why? Then another thought hits me, oh my god, did she do it so that she could plead ignorance if everything came out and the authorities got involved. Did she insist on me engaging him so that she could say I was to blame for bringing a predator into our home? I need to know, she has been taken away by the authorities and she is now aware that I know everything, so is she going to try and save her own skin by trying to shift the blame on to me? Hang on… the statute of limitations has long since expired, no formal criminal charges can be brought against her for her part in Gideon's abuse so hopefully I am safe from being wrongfully implicated… but I need to know if she did orchestrate the abuse of her own son for her own sick gratification. But she has lied to me consistently all the time I been with her, and she will just deny it. I think and then I pick up the phone and call Angus.

He picks up and he curtly states his name by way of greeting. His cold tone surprises me a little as he is normally always so genial and warm.

"Hello Angus" I say warily.

"Mr Vidal, what can I do for you?" he asks equally coldly.

"I…" I pause as I have no idea what I am going to say.

Angus doesn't make things easy by filling the silence that falls between us and simply waits for me to speak again.

"I need to know… did you know about what happened to Gideon? The abuse?" I ask eventually.

I hear Angus snort bitterly, "Ay I did, Gideon came to me and confided in me. He told me what that bastard did to him and I wanted to kill him. I consoled Gideon as best as I could. I wanted to go straight to the police but because Gideon was just a wee boy I knew that if I did that, Child Protection would get involved and possibly remove him. I reasoned the poor wee lad had had enough disruption and upheaval in his life and so I told him to tell his mother, I told him to go to her for help and tell her what he had told me and that she would believe him and help him… but I was wrong, and I have had to live with the decision I made ever since".

I swallow hard, "Do you think she knew? Do you think she engineered that man to come into our home?"

There is another silence, "I don't know, but after what Gideon said to Elizabeth today, I am going to do some digging and see if I can find out".

"How? That man is dead?" I say in confusion.

Angus snorts again, "Ay he is, but his sister Anne isn't. Gideon told her what happened to him when he used her to get his revenge on her husband. Her husband was the paediatrician who supposedly lied to Elizabeth saying Gideon had not been raped… now after what Gideon said today, I am also now wondering if Elizabeth was in on that lie all along to hide her part in the abuse. I cannay speak to Dr Lucas as he is also dead. He killed himself after Anne and Gideon exposed him and he was stripped of his medical licence to practice, but Anne is still very much alive and she might have some information for me, regarding the events of that time".

A rock settles in my gut at his words, this just gets more and more fucked up.

There is another pause and then Angus speaks again, "Tell me Mr Vidal, did Elizabeth tell you she was taking Gideon to see a Paediatrician?" he asks.

I search my mind dredging up memories of that period of time and although Angus can't see me, I shake my head as I don't recall her ever saying anything. "No, I can't remember her ever telling me" I say.

"Interesting" Angus replies.

I pick up my ears at that, "Your point?" I ask.

Angus sighs, "I'll just say her actions don't make things look good for her. She didn't tell her own husband that her son had been abused and she was taking him to a Paediatrician to get him examined. It makes me wonder why and what she had to hide as surely she would tell her husband what was happening and the serious allegations that had been made?" Angus pauses and I think about what he has just said and before I can stop myself the words come tumbling out as once again I try and excuse Elizabeth's actions.

"But Gideon was her son, he wasn't mine" I say and I immediately cringe at how bad that sounds, and I remember Ana's words that I should've played more of a part in Gideon's childhood. I should've paid more attention; I should've shown more interest and if I had and been the father figure that Gideon needed he may've confided in me when all this happened and I would've discovered the truth about my wife sooner, rather than years down the line, but I didn't want that responsibility... I didn't want him.

"Ay, he wasn't yours" Angus scoffs sarcastically, "I'll just say that he wasn't mine either but I loved him and cared for him as if he was and that is why he came to me, confided in me and he trusted me" he adds, echoing my own thoughts.

I bristle at his tone and the way he is judging me, pointing out my failings to me.

"Yes well, nothing can be changed now to alter the past. But I need to know if Elizabeth knew, will you let me know what you find out from Anne Lucas?" I ask with more confidence than I am actually feeling.

"Ay I'll tell you, if that's all Mr Vidal" Angus replies curtly.

Before I can answer him, the line goes dead and I am left staring at the telephone receiver in my hand.

oooOOOooo

(GIDEON)

"So, shall we leave it there then? I think that is a good place to bring this to a close, and everyone is happy with how you are moving forward?" Caroline asks as she looks around at us.

I nod, this makeshift therapy session was more positive and productive than I could ever have imagined it would be and I believe some real progress has been made. I wonder how Ana and Christian are getting on with Chris? I glance around and notice that Angus is not here. I heard his phone start to ring a few moments ago and he quietly slipped out and he has not yet returned.

As I am thinking this my attention is drawn to Ireland who speaks.

"I don't know about everyone else, but I'm really glad we did this" she says as she smiles nervously at us all.

Christopher nods, "I agree, I think while we all have a long way to go this has been really productive and I am certainly glad we did it".

Ryan nods in agreement, "I totally agree with you. I feel like a huge weight has lifted" he turns and looks at me, "What about you Gideon?" he asks nervously.

I grip Eva's hand and nod. "I'm very pleased with how this has gone, it was a very positive start and hopefully we can build on it moving forward" I say. I feel Eva gently squeeze my hand back and I look down at her and smile. "Thank you for being here and supporting me Angel" I whisper and she rolls her eyes at me.

"Well, where else would I be?" she answers sardonically, which makes both Ireland and Christopher smile and Ryan tries to stifle a snigger at her words. Before I can come back with a response the door opens and Angus slips back in looking grim. His eyes meet mine and my heart sinks wondering what has happened now.

"Chris Vidal has just called me" Angus says, shooting a glance at Christopher and Ireland as he says it. This immediately gets Christopher and Ireland's attention, and they look questioningly at me and then at Angus.

"Dad?" Ireland asks.

Angus nods and smiles kindly at her. "Ay lass" he says simply, before turning his attention to me. "It appears he has been thinking things over and wants to know if Elizabeth knew about Hugh and if she was involved. He also asked me if I knew about what had happened to you, I told him you confided in me and I told you to tell your mother". I don't miss how his tone of voice alters and breaks slightly as he says that and I look hard at him.

"Angus, you were not to blame for your actions. You believed me, you took care of me and you tried to help. It's not your fault my… mother didn't love me or care as much as you did".

Angus nods and gives me a weak smile, "Chris said something which has me wondering about your mother" he says hesitantly.

"Go on" I say, urging him to continue.

"I asked him if Elizabeth told him about taking you to see Dr Lucas and he said that she had never said a word" he says.

"And?" I ask.

Angus sighs deeply, "And… that made me wonder… after what you asked your mother… if she engaged Hugh on purpose… if… if she was also complicit in Dr Lucas' lie about you not having any physical damage from the abuse".

I go cold at his words and my mind flies back to that consultation; it is seared into my memory as I had been so hopeful that the physical evidence, he would undoubtedly find would help my mother press charges against Hugh, only to have those hopes dashed when he had lied to her and told her he had found nothing.

"Gideon?" I vaguely hear Eva speak but I am lost in my memories and don't respond…

"Good morning, and what can I do for you Mrs… erm… Vidal?" Dr Lucas asks smiling widely at my mom and at me.

I am afraid of what is going to happen but I know I need to be brave as this is my chance to get the physical evidence so my mom can press charges against Hugh for what he did to me.

"Ter… Dr Lucas, we spoke on the telephone and I outlined the serious allegations my son has made against the therapist who has been helping him deal with his father's death and so I have brought him to be physically examined… to determine if those allegations are correct".

I look up at my mom, why did she say that? Surely, she believes me? What she just said makes it sound like she doesn't.

"I'm telling the truth" I blurt out as tears fill my eyes. My mom looks down at me and gives me a stiff smile.

"I know, we just need to find the physical evidence as we can't press charges on your word alone" she says and she glances at the doctor as she says it.

I nod, and watch as she turns towards the doctor and looks at him really hard. "So… you will examine my son and hopefully provide me with the correct findings?" she says…

I gasp and shake my head, returning to the here and now, I was a child and hadn't realised it at the time but now knowing what I now know I see that conversation very differently. "She was in on it, she arranged with Lucas to lie" I blurt out and I recount my memory of what happened that day.

"Fucking hell" Ryan gasps and runs his hand over his shocked face.

"Oh Gideon" Eva says and she wraps her arms around me and holds me.

"Oh Gideon lad, I'm so sorry" Angus says, then he quickly pulls himself together. "That certainly does sound compelling and if you remember anything else let me know will you?" he adds and I nod.

"I will" I say bleakly.

Angus comes closer and crouches in front of me and looks me in the eye. "Gideon, listen to me lad. I'm going to track down Anne Lucas, and find out if she knows anything. She helped you before when you told her about what her husband and brother had done. It's worth a try I think, to find out for sure as I'm certain your mom will deny it until her dying day".

I nod in agreement, "Alright" I say simply although I am now fairly certain my mother was complicit in my abuse".

"Chris wants to know if Elizabeth was in on it all… but I'll not share with him what you have just told me" Angus says as he rises to his full height, but I shake my head.

"It doesn't matter to me as it doesn't change anything, he may as well know the depths his wife sank to. Why does he want to know?" I ask looking up at Angus who shrugs.

"I'm not certain, I have a feeling it is probably to try and salvage his own reputation as I'm fairly sure he is worried that Elizabeth will try and implicate him in some way and he wants to know what he is dealing with". He pauses and then adds quietly, "I will say lad, I got the impression he does feel some remorse about what happened to you".

I let out a derisive snort, "We'll see" I say.

There is a knock and the door opens, to reveal Ana and Christian and they both have looks of disappointment on their faces. Ana walks over to me and I stand as she wraps her arms around my waist.

"I'm sorry, we tried… we really tried" she says sadly.

I hug her tightly and look up at Christian who walks over.

"We did our best but I think he is too deep in a mire of denial at the moment to hope for anything positive" Christian says.

Angus quickly outlines his call with Chris and Christian's eyebrows rise in surprise at that. Ana looks up at me and gives me a hopeful smile.

"Well maybe our visit wasn't a total bust then?" she says.