The Hofstadter marriage
Chapter 2 – Why are we together?
Leonard
When I woke up yesterday morning I didn't know whether we were going to have to get an annulment. I had an awful dream where Penny and Sheldon kissed to make up for what happened. I couldn't believe it, what a stupid dream to have. I know Sheldon would never do that, but its not the point. I ended up waking up in a cold sweat with a start. Then I decided to talk to the boys about it. Bad idea. Raj was just annoyed I'd spoken to Howard about it years ago, there was no sympathy from either of them, I need better friends.
I decided to call about marriage counselling, that was too expensive $250 an hour? Who has that type of money? So in the end Penny and I had a chat, she's worried about me seeing Mandy at work, which I suppose is fair enough. Sheldon suggested that I let Penny meet Mandy but I'm not sure that's a good idea. Then she went off to girls night and that's the last I saw of her.
Today I spoke to Mandy, she had some great advice, I did suggest she speak to Penny, but she didn't want to. She couldn't even remember the kiss. She suggested that I was trying to sabotage the relationship, and I told her that I feel I don't deserve Penny. That's obviously the problem.
So I told Penny, I told her I agreed that I had tried to sabotage the wedding, I told her I feel I don't deserve her, and she said she was worried that I was going to leave her for someone like me? Why would I do that, I love her, I've loved her since the day I met her and I'll keep loving her until the end of time. I even said that to her word for word. Then I asked her to stay married to me, she laughed and said I was very romantic.
Then we consummated the marriage. It was amazing, the first time as man and wife. I was the king of foreplay again and she seemed to feel better, warmer, the feelings between us were so intense. I love her so much, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her.
Our babies will be smart and beautiful.
Penny
Yesterday morning I felt like such a horrible person, I married Leonard and I'm glad I did, but I shouldn't have done it then. We should have talked more about what happened when he was on the North Sea. I was so worried about Leonard seeing Mandy at work, I'm still worried, but less so. He's promised me he has no interest in her, and I believe him, but what if she wants him? I do trust him. I trust him more than I've ever trusted anyone else, but I don't trust her. I don't want her to be a threat to my marriage, Leonard says she's not but I don't know, I'll have to work on that.
Thank goodness for girls night, I spoke to both Amy and Bernadette, I told them I never saw Leonard as a cheater, that I fell in love with him because he was nothing like the men I've been with in the past, that he wouldn't ever have acted this way when we first met. They both agreed that I gave Leonard confidence, which I suppose is true, I'm glad I've given him confidence. He seems so much better in himself, I did that to him. Then Bernadette said something that really hit home. She said that she'd rather someone be with her because they wanted to be and not because they felt they had no other choice. I'd never thought of it that way. She's right. He does want to be with me for me, that's a lovely thought.
I felt guilty after hearing that. I feel like I've made him that way and then had a go at him about it, I love him so much and I don't want him to feel bad about anything. Everything he does is for me, everything he thinks is about me. He works so hard for me and our future. He constantly talks about the future, the things he has planned, the way he wants our life to go. The kids we will have in the future, the house in Altadena near Howard and Bernadette we can make our own. Life is going to be great with him. I know it is. I can't wait to start this life with him. What would I do without my girls? They have the right ideas about everything.
In the end Leonard and I had a heart to heart, he told me he's worried that he doesn't deserve me and I told him I'm worried he's going to leave me for someone more like him. We agreed not to worry about other people coming in between us and enjoy being together. He said some lovely things, that he's always loved me, and always wanted me, and I've always wanted him and loved him to, even though it took me a long time to admit it even to myself.
So then we consummated our marriage, and it was wonderful. He held me closer than he ever had before. He was the king of foreplay as he always is, he made me feel so amazing, and I fell in love with him all over again. I can trust him, I know I can. I love him and he loves me and I hope our life, love and marriage just gets stronger from today onwards. Things are going to be okay. I can sense it.