(A/N: Here is chapter fifty one! Enjoy! I'm sorry for this very long, awaited chapter. Here's a cookie for everyone who was able to wait paitently for its release.

Shihaku4: Thanks for the review. For the homunculi, I had different plans for that. At first. But Nina came after Cornello. You are speaking about 2003 version of FMA where it's the only adaptation where Nina comes before Cornello, which is half non canon and half canon.

TheEmeraldMage: Thanks for the review! Yeah, I'm planning to have different dynamics, and people with their own personal opinions on alchemists, more or less, based on their own experiences with them. Although, that is one thing that bothered me about Brotherhood. It keeps saying and going on and on about how alchemists are [sometimes] not very well liked, but we never really see this. Except for the Youswell mini story, which is skipped in Brotherhood, so it somewhat doesn't count. And having a deep seated hatred for alchemists is a very, very bad thing. Though, I can agree that hatred of any form is bad, especially when not justified, I can't, in good consicious of me, agree on how it portrays people with a disdain for alchemy. It's partially also due the fact that the main characters, Ed and Al Elric, are also alchemists, and, because of that, the story sometimes suffers from protagonist centered morality. Where everyone agreeing with main duo [in this case, alchemy] is seen as good [for the most part], whereas everything disagreeing with or against it is seen as bad or morally ambiguous. Even the Ishvalans are seen as morally ambiguous [the innocent ones], and everything happening to them is their own fault. This is much more evident in the 2003 Fullmetal Alchemist with its cruelty of Ishvalans for their refusal of reforming by none other than Ed himself [minus the whole 'not reforming to alchemy' thing]! Though, I do give Ed props for admitting that he is somewhat racist, but still tries do good to everyone around him despite that. In the 2003 version, I mean.

Simply Christian: I think it's confirmed that those Ichigo/Rukia moments aren't supposed to be seen as romantic. Someone can correct me on that. Someone who is unbiased. It's hinted at and outright confirmed in the light novel though, which takes place in between the last two chapters of the manga that Ichigo did indeed have feelings for Orihime, and for quite a long time. He was just too insecure to admit it. This goes hand and hand with the original pilot chapter. It is further backed up when he is the one who confesses to her [thanks to Renji's encouragement], and asks her out. Although, I can see why it never seemed like he was reciprocating her feelings [besides, Kubo changing Orihime's crush to be seemingly one sided instead of mutual]. Who has time for love when you are busy fighting for your life, and saving the world? And didn't Naruto do the same thing with Naruto and Hinata? Naruto never seemed to reciprocate Hinata's feelings until the very last chapter. They fixed this by having a canon movie and light novel dedicated to Naruto's and Hinata's budding romance. It's teased by other characters in the manga that girls like Rukia and Tatsuki are not Ichigo's type, and Ichigo likes girls more like Orihime. This is a very small instance that people seem to overlook. Besides, there are other...very interesting things that the canon Bleach light novels reveal. Which I am going to spoil a bit. So, beware. Skip this section, if you don't like. The reveal of the true reason why Aizen turned evil, which arguably makes him more of an anti villain than a straight up villain. With some characters even agreeing with Aizen's actions after finding out. The reason why Kaname's hatred of one Soul Reaper turned into hatred of all Soul Reapers. It's also explains that Ywach wasn't trying to kill the Soul King out of malice, but as an attempt to put the Soul King out of his misery. Another words, a mercy kill. And his hatred of the Soul Reapers stems from what they did to the Soul King, his father. Ichigo initially being the replaced Soul King, which is why Shunsui gave Ichigo's friends those Soul Tickets. Plus, some people's bankai, which is neither revealed in the manga nor anime. The reveal that some Quincies did survive after the war like the zombie controlling Quincy crossdresser and the lethal dose one, I believe [though, I don't remember if it's explained in the manga anyway]. It's confirmed that both Yoruichi and Urahara both survived. Urahara is doing Urahara things, and Yoruichi is a new teacher at the newly rebuilt Soul Reaper Academy. If I remember, she teaches kido classes, I think. I just don't know if she's a temporary or a permanent teacher. Orihime and all other fullbringers have a piece of the Soul King inside them. That would explain some of their reality warping powers, especially Orihime's. And much more. As for the anime making changes with the pairings, I doubt it, especially considering there is a sequel of sorts for the Bleach manga coming in the near future. If the anime does makes changes, everything after the change would be considered non canon. I am glad I was able to clear up Orihime's mixed feelings for Ed for you. I was worried that my...lack of getting words out/not explaining properly would make it more confusing. Liza and Yoruichi teaming up? I dread that, too. I do believe Ed has asked about how Orihime's powers worked in the very beginning of the story. Orihime, more or less, explained it as soul manipulation, and left it that [which is partially correct, since her powers are derived from the power of her soul/spiritual energy].

KVeronicaP: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks for enjoying this crossover story. I know there are still some people out there who against the plot not following canon plot point to plot point, and any divergence makes them drop the story. To which I say, what is the point of a crossover if there's not some divergence? At this point, I read and have gotten tired of the 'new character enters the FMA world, but their appearance does absolutely nothing to change the plot' trope of Fullmetal Alchemist's fanfics. Which is more egregious when they do have the potential power to, but the fanfic writer makes them stupider and/or more incompetent all of a sudden [I don't know if it's done deliberately or not] as an excuse for the plot not to change. Except when it's justified like being afraid of changing the course of history. I wanted to change it up.

Thanks to everyone else who has read, followed, favorited, and reviewed this story while it was on a short hiatus. Now, enjoy!)

Spiral Retrogression

"Because I'm interested in seeing the stage where the new leaf blows."

Edward's brows furrowed, confused by that. "What do you mean by 'the stage where the new leaf blows'?" he asked, bluntly.

Liza grinned, cryptically. "There are some things that don't obey the laws of the human realm. It's best to be prepared."

Ed and Al were even more puzzled by that. They glanced at each other, question marks raised before gazing back at the blonde haired woman.

"What do you mean by 'the laws of the human realm'?" Alphonse tentatively asked this time.

"It's…," she started before silently shaking her head. "It's nothing you should worry about." "After all, you are just a normal human. There's no need to concern yourself," she added, mentally. "I'm just talking nonsense. Don't heed the words of this crazy woman."

She sighed, deeply, climbing out of her seat.

"Are you leaving, Miss Liza?" Al asked, somewhat disappointed. He wished to talk to her more.

"Unfortunately, yes," she replied. "As much as I enjoy chatting with you and your brother, Al, I better get going. I have some important work that needs to get done. Plus, Kazuya might throw a tantrum, if I stay any longer."

"That clown," Edward scoffed. "I still need to give that bastard a couple of good punches to the face."

She laughed, sheepishly. "Don't let what Kazuya said bother you. He's like that with almost everyone."

The blonde pulled out her small, black purse from within her pockets, and extracted some money from inside. She placed the money on the table. "This should be enough to pay for the meal," she stated, placing her purse back in her pant's pocket. "Catch you guys some other time, okay?" She waved them goodbye as she started to leave the diner.

The Elric brothers watched her go in utter silence, mulling over the conversation they had with her today.

"So, what do you think, brother?" Al was the first to ask, breaking the contemplative silence.

Edward remained quiet, still thinking over the facts. He knows his younger brother was asking him for his thoughts on the whole Hollow business. In truth, he was about to comment about how annoying Liza was, and that pig headed bastard, Kazuya, but Al wasn't asking about them.

In all honesty, the blond alchemist was still a bit skeptical. He has never seen or heard of Hollows once before in his life. If something that scary and monstrous actually existed, then one would think they'd be written and recorded in books or something. Yet, there's never been mention of Hollows, or any information of any kind about them. He so wanted to pass it off as nonsensical folklore used to scare children. Who in the right mind would believe in demons and monsters? The stuff a person sees in dark, children fairytales?

However, that would be, unfortunately, completely denying the shimmering form of an unknown entity he saw that day. He was an alchemist. A man of science on the hunt for knowledge and in pursuit of the truth. It wouldn't do him any good to dismiss everything as delusional nonsense from a crazy person. He once thought homunculi weren't real, a mere failed attempt at Human Transmutation, and look what happened?

"I'm not...sure," Ed finally answered, slowly. His right hand went up to scratch the side of his head. "Truthfully, it's hard to wrap my head around this Hollow business, even now. Hollows are monsters, and we all know monsters don't exist. It's a scientific fact."

"But the same could be said about homunculi," Al countered. "And talking chimera. It's been reported that nobody could successfully create either. However, we've seen with our own eyes that both exist. Remember what Greed said? He said that 'nothing was impossible'."

The blond alchemist hummed, thoughtfully. "I get that, Al. But…" He groaned in frustration, crossing his arms. "I wish I knew more about what the hell is going on? All this freaky shit that's been happening lately is so damn confusing! Not knowing what the fuck's going on...is so damn frustrating!"

"I know, brother. I know," the suit of armor muttered. "The best we can do is just take things slowly and one step at a time, and be more open minded and prepared for the worst."

The elder brother furrowed his brows, not liking the idea, but having no other choice. "Maybe...after this...we should head back to the library," he suggested. "Liza said she got her information from reading mythology and religious texts, right? There must be something in the library about Hollows. We just have to look harder and find it!"

Al sighed. "We were kicked out of the library, remember, brother?"

The blond alchemist stiffened and frowned. "Yeah, well… Us getting kicked out wasn't exactly our fault. Besides, I'm a certified State Alchemist. I'll just shove my silver watch in their faces, and they'll let me in no problems," he declared, somewhat smugly.

Once again the younger Elric sighed, but nodded in agreement all the same. There was no point in arguing with his brother. He was an extremely hotheaded and stubborn guy. Arguing with him would be no different from talking to a brick wall. It was pointless. Once his mind was set on something, he wasn't backing down, no matter what. After all that was settled, Ed went right back to finishing his meal. He can't let free food go to waste, can he?

"Now, class! Today's your first lesson on kendo!" the instructor announced.

The instructor was a lean, burly man with short, black hair leading into a pair of sideburns. He seemed to be in his late twenties, early thirties. He had dark brown eyes, and his skin was slightly tanned. He wore a white muscle shirt and black khakis. He stood on top of an elevated platform, staring down at the dozens of beginners before him. Orihime being one of them.

Orihime listened to the instructor with rapt attention. She had recently taken an interest in kendo. The instructor, Makoto Oshashi, continued to babble on about the basics of kendo, the rules, and regulations. He gave a brief lecture on the history of kendo and its foundation.

A month and a half have already passed since the Winter War was over, and Aizen was locked up in prison. Naturally, everyone began preparations to heal their broken hearts and restore their weary minds. The Soul Reapers were busy fixing the damage done to the Seireitei and the world at large. All the people that were affected by Aizen's betrayal, all the lives that were ruined and destroyed by his treachery were slowly yet surely recovering.

The Soul Reapers were working on rebuilding their broken relationship with the Vizards. And, although, the Vizards were still somewhat wary and distrustful of Soul Reapers, some of them their former friends, comrades, and subordinates, they decided to give in to the chance of reconciling. After all, Aizen was the sole reason for their wrecked friendship and shattered trust in the first place. They could all silently agree to put all the blame on the traitorous Soul Reaper.

As for Ichigo and the others, they returned to their normal, daily lives. Go to school, study, and, of course, complete piles and piles of make up homework and tests for missing two months' worth of school. They did fight the occasional Hollow or two, but that was slowly becoming less and less frequent. Very, very gradually, it slowly felt like the war never happened. As if it was one, long, straining, and continuous nightmare.

School remained relatively the same all things considered. It was to be expected though. Nobody knows about Soul Reapers or Hollows. They were completely oblivious to the supernatural world. Nonetheless, Orihime was no longer assaulted by surprised attacks in the form of aggressive hugs and lecherous advances courtesy of Chizuru Honsho.

The red haired lesbian must've been awfully frightened for her to move away so suddenly and unexpectedly, given her fixation on teaching the auburn haired beauty 'the ways of feminine love'. Being caught in the middle of Sousuke Aizen's destruction of Karakura Town, and being sadistically tortured by paralyzing terror at his overwhelming presence with no explanation of what's going on must have done a number to her mental state. The only way to describe Chizuru's disappearance is that she relocated to a different city or country in fear for her life, crossing off the town as a very, very dangerous place to live.

Despite the loss of a familiar classmate, things slowly began to resume to its relatively usual routine for the spiritually powered teenagers. Well, for everyone except Orihime.

The auburn haired girl eyed the uniform and bamboo sword Mr. Oshashi held in front of him for the entire raw recruits to see. He started to go on, what Ichigo would call, a long winded explanation on the importance of the protective and disciplinary the way of the sword.

Being saved and coming back to the World of the Living hasn't been as smooth sailing for her as it was for her friends. The crippling guilt and emotionally distressing trauma of being held prisoner have left her with some severe issues. She acted perfectly fine when around others and at school. She was able to put on the cheerful, bubbly facade of her pre war, pre kidnapped self. But when she got home, it was a whole different story.

The first time she got home after school, after cramming with Ichigo, Uryu, and Chad over all the schoolwork they've missed… Let's just say she could barely function. She didn't notice that something within her had changed.

The auburn haired girl stopped by the grocery to get ingredients for dinner. Naturally, when she arrived, she immediately cooked and ate dinner. Her time at home proceeded as it normally does. When it had gotten dark, however, a dreadful sense of unease creeped through her. Although, she did her best to ignore it.

First, it started out with demoralizing nightmares. Every night since her return, she gets plagued with horrifyingly bad dreams of Ichigo's death, his resulting full Hollowfication, and the terrifying fear that he blames her for the loss of his powers because she was a weak and pathetic damsel in distress who can't do anything right.

This made talking to Ichigo so difficult. She was almost sure he blamed her in some way or fashion for the loss of his powers. She's always been nothing but a pathetic burden to him. She swallows down the uneasy guilt and distressing anxiety of talking when she is with others, but desperately avoids a one on one confrontation with him. Her thought process was...the more people between Ichigo and her, the less likely his attention would be on her.

Tatsuki noticed something off about her best friend, but Orihime dismissed her concerns. The tomboy has known her for a long time, so, of course, she would notice and be sensitive to the smallest of changes. Realizing this, the healer did her best to perfect her mask, so as to not cause her closest friend unnecessary worry. Her troubles were her to deal with and to deal with alone. Besides, it was no big deal. Perhaps the war has left her a little on edge and restless. She would recover soon enough.

As the days and weeks passed, the nightmares became worse. To the point where Orihime was too scared to sleep anymore. Not only that, but she suddenly started to become jumpy at the slightest sound, having the ridiculous paranoid urge to keep looking behind her back as if something dastardly was going to pop out from the shadows of darkness and abduct or kill her.

It was at that point she realized that she was deathly afraid of the dark. She was absolutely fine during the day, but once the sun sets, she is overtaken by crippling anxiety and restless trepidation. To prevent herself from having any horrifying nightmares, she has taken the foolish idea of never snoozing off into dreamland again. It lasted...only for a few days.

After the first couple of days, her friends began to notice how sluggish her movements were. Not helped by the fact that she tended to doze off in class, and there were bags under her eyes. She played off their concerns with a feigned cheerful smile, brightly claiming she was fine in a misleading fashion. But she was far from fine.

Sleep deprivation was really taking a toll on her. She was gradually becoming more tired and sluggish by the day. She could barely concentrate during class. Her friends took note of how less and less pleasantly cheery and endearingly energetic she became. She had taken to drinking coffee at night to keep herself awake and alert enough to do her homework. However, it hasn't gotten that significantly bad, and it's the price she was willing to pay to avoid any more grisly night terrors.

That wasn't her only problem though. Her appetite also seems to be diminishing. Her craving for food was relatively normal, at first. She could easily swallow down solid foods like the butternut cream and homemade banana squash jam sandwich with red bean chocolate sauce she ate the other day and sweet and spicy orange sauce curry with potatoes, roasted peanuts, wasabi, and mayonnaise.

It's when she started to become tormented by nightmares that her tolerance for food began to suffer. When she eats, her stomach becomes weirdly queasy. The auburn haired healer could not understand why. She was eating all the stuff she normally consumes. Yet, she becomes full way too soon. Or when she forces it down, despite how unnaturally filled she is, she has the suddenly uncanny urge to puke it all up hours later.

Reluctantly out of caution, Orihime had to adapt to eating less solid foods or not eating in general. To her, partaking in meals eventually turned into a gamble. It was really depressing actually when she greatly enjoyed cooking and took incredible delight in experimenting with new recipes so much. Now, she could mainly ingest things like soups and chowder and easy and light on her stomach. Her love for cooking was gradually diminishing, and that just made her all the more sadder. What was the point of trying out a new recipe, if there was a chance she might end up in the toilet, hunch over, and vomiting?

It has soon gotten to the point where her friends noticed her lack of appetite. Tatsuki began questioning why her school lunches looked smaller. She simply informed her that she wasn't hungry that day, however, she was acutely aware that the excuse won't be usable the next day. It'll just dredge up more suspicion and concern from her friends.

Her solution?

Orihime conjured up the brilliant idea of eating lunch like she normally would, but then...if and when the need arises, she'd rush to the nearest bathroom to discharge it from her system. She would often make up some flimsy reason, and hurry out the classroom, using her hair to conceal her sickly pale countenance.

However, that didn't last long as her friends started to notice the bags under her eyes from lack of sleep, and they expressed concern that she was beginning to look abnormally skinny. Not the kind of skinny where her bones were clearly visible. But she seemed noticeably underweight.

The auburn haired girl had to figure out an alternative solution. Because the way she was dealing with her problems wasn't working. She couldn't come clean with the fact that she can't sleep or that she's afraid of sleeping since she is plagued by horrific nightmares almost every time she tries, or that she could barely eat seeing as her stomach could not hold down a proper meal.

She was understandably aware that her friends were only concerned about her wellbeing. But she could not bring herself to confide in them about her problems, no matter how severe it was becoming. It was not like she doubted their reliability. It's just… This was her problem and her problem to deal with alone. She doesn't want to burden them with something so minor as a lack of appetite and sleepless nights. She would figure something out, and then everything would return back to normal.

Orihime needed to know what she needed to do first. How could she fix her problems? And for that, she was required to do some research. She originally wanted to go to the school's library, but she didn't want her friends catching her assessing and analyzing how to deal with her...troubles and asking uncomfortable questions.

She truly wished her brother was still alive. When she would have nightmares, Sora would hold her hands, offer words of comfort, and pet her head, soothingly, gently lulling her back to sleep. Times like this was where she truly missed her older brother.

Orihime used the Karakura Public Library as a quiet study hall for herself. She searched for books on hunger loss and slumber problems. She read on insomnia and eating disorders, but none of them had what she was looking for. Although, her studies were not a total waste of time.

The most common symptom that may or may not be the cause of her distressing issues was stress. Chronic stress played a huge factor in why she was feeling so...horrible lately, and the nightmares were only adding to her stress. Her stress hormones were going haywire because of all the anxiety she was feeling.

There was a passage that expresses that the auburn haired girl may have depression, however, that couldn't be right. She wasn't feeling irritable. She had no right to be angry at her friends for doing so much to help her. She just felt that this is something she must do herself. She shouldn't burden them any further with her problems.

Stress and anxiety was also the reason Orihime could not hold down a proper meal. The epinephrine hormones in her body are shutting down her body's desire to consume food. Her stomach would tighten, and forcefully expel unnecessary substances from within.

Sure, the healer has been seemingly lethargic recently. Though, the excessive and chronic stress she's been experiencing as of late combined with sleeping problems could be the cause of her lack of energy.

She has been feeling extremely sad, but with all the night terrors, how could she not be dejectedly despondent? She tried not to showcase such a gloomy aura at school. It was so naturally easy to exude her normally cheery, bubbly mood, despite how dishearteningly melancholic she felt on the inside. She talked, animatedly with Tatsuki, and joked with Ichigo and the others. Her exuberantly sunny facade was seemingly flawless.

When she got home though, it was a different story. The moment stepped inside her apartment, her joyfully upbeat disposition would immediately evaporate into thin air, being replaced by overwhelming anxiety, deep rooted fear, and apprehensive unease.

In the end, Orihime decided to merely focus on destressing herself. The most reliable method was to simply exercise. Physical activities are one of the best ways to calm her mind and constructively release the negative effects of stress in a harmless fashion. In other words, it is very helpful and beneficial to take her stress out on something without it being toxic to her or other people.

Orihime left the library after obtaining a decent amount of information. Noticing that it is almost sundown filled her with trepidation. She picked up the pace in the hopes of making it to her apartment faster. When she approached her front door, she fumbled with the keys. Her hand refused to stop shaking due to the unnerving panic she was unconsciously experiencing.

Finally, Orihime managed to unlock her door, and after locking it behind, she headed straight to her bedroom, not really in the mood for dinner. She switched on her neon blue nightlight, and flopped down on her bed, after changing her school uniform into a light green nightgown of course.

The next thing was to figure out how she would do this. What physical activity should she partake in? Should she do some random exercises in her apartment? Or join a local gym somewhere? There were so many decisions because whatever she does would probably be her new hobby for the next several weeks, possibly a few months.

The auburn haired girl spent the next few days unveiling different sports clubs she could attend outside of school. She decided not to join a gym since she already participates in P.E. class. No need to be redundant and do the same things twice. During her free times, she used the Public Library to research various physical extracurricular activities outside of school.

One day when Uryu asked if anything was wrong, Orihime hid her panic ridiculously well, stating that she was fine. Leave it to Uryu to notice the subtle differences in her behavior. Yet, she reassured him that she was good. That there is no need to worry. He took note of the fact that she hung out with Tatsuki less frequently. She didn't know whether to feel touched by his concern, or offended by his belief that her life outside of the supernatural revolves around being with her tomboy best friend twenty four seven. She wasn't a baby that needed to be protected all the time! But she appreciated the sentiment.

There were several options she found outside of school. There was an archery club, but it was too close to her school. Plus, she had no interest in learning how to shoot a bow and arrow.

There was a rock climbing facility close by from the Karakura Public Library. However, she doubted rock climbing would be a good fit for her. Not that she didn't find it intriguing. It's just...that she already knows how to climb. Why would she need help in something she already has some knowledge and experience in doing? She wanted something new and engrossingly enthralling.

Orihime continued on with her online search. She found an article on horseback riding, which caught her interest. Unfortunately, it was only available in the countryside.

That didn't deter her though, and she kept searching. She probably spent another half hour before she finally found a physical activity that caught her eye.

And that's how she found herself joining the kendo class.

None of her friends were aware that she secretly started taking kendo classes. Not even Ichigo nor Tatsuki knew about it. They don't need to know that she gets hit with anxiety so bad, she could barely breathe. That she has terrible nightmares that keep her up at night, and leaves her dripping with cold sweat. It has gotten to the point that she has to take sleeping pills to force herself to get even a few, however short, hours of sleep. Or the fact that the dark leaves her with feelings of alarming panic and dreadful unease, so much so that she sleeps with a nightlight. All that… Plus, she hadn't had a decent meal in weeks. She has eaten enough to get by, stave off starvation, and satisfy her body's need to have some type of nutrition, but...

Yeah, there was no way Orihime could bring herself to tell them. She doesn't want to confess how weak and pathetic she is by being terrified as something as silly as the dark, nor be given unsettling looks of oppressing pity and suffocating sympathy. She was fully aware her friends would never think bad of her, yet the shame she would feel would not lessen the slightest bit. She doesn't want them hovering over and smothering her, thinking she can't take care of herself.

The kendo dojo was fairly far, but not too far. It was a train ride away from her apartment. Very appropriate that barely anyone would think to look for her on the eastern outskirts of town. It took around a thirty five minute train ride to get to the dojo. The lessons started at four in the afternoon, and always ended before sundown around six thirty, so it was perfect for her. It was only twice a week. Every Tuesday and Thursday. So if she left school almost immediately after it was over, she could go home, change out of her school uniform into something more casual, grab a couple of quick snacks to eat, and be on the train there in no time.

Besides the distance, the second problem was the cost. She had to pay about two thousand eight hundred fifty five yen per month just to keep attending. The wooden sword, bokuto, cost around eight thousand five hundred sixty five yen, and the uniform could be purchased at approximately fifty seven thousand one hundred yen for a decent set.

Overall, the payment was more difficult than the auburn haired healer initially thought. She could set aside some of the money her distant aunt gives her every month to pay for the kendo class's monthly fee of tuition.

The wooden kendo and uniform are another matter. Fortunately, she does not have to buy them now. The instructor informed the beginners class that they don't have to worry about getting equipment for another three to six months, depending on how far and how fast most of the class proceeds. Right now, they are merely focusing on the history and basics of kendo. One thing was for sure though, if she was going to continue taking these classes, she was going to have to start looking for a job in the very near future.

None of her friends have been informed that she has been learning kendo. Although, she never intended to notify them about the new hobby she had taken interest in. That would inadvertently require admitting to them that she's developed sleeping and eating problems. She'd be forced to accept the reality that she would always be a weak and pitiful damsel in distress.

She doesn't want that! She refuses to believe it! She rejects the very idea of it!

She wants to get stronger! She was going to get stronger, no matter what! She never wants to be weak and pathetic like that again! She needs to get stronger! She cursed her weakness, her powerlessness to the very depths of her heart! That's why… She must get stronger!

Orihime through the streets of Central. The sun charm she had purchased for Edward was in a bag on her left hand. Now, all she had to do was put her own uniquely special spin to it before giving it to them.

The thought of it would've made her giddy with happiness and nervous excitement, but feelings of apprehensive doubt and pusillanimous insecurity lingered strongly within her instead. Would Ed even like the present she brought him? How would she turn this ordinary, soon to be makeshift pendant into a protective charm? She had stated that she would attempt to use the Soul Reapers principle of kido for the basis of the protective charm, but how would she do that? Does she just will spirit energy into it?

That was not the only thing the auburn haired healer was worried about. She...still...doesn't know how to be the 'perfect' girlfriend. She sighed, dejectedly. What is the blond haired alchemist's ideal girlfriend? She hasn't got the first clue on how romantic relationships operate. Maybe wanting to be Ed's girlfriend was a mistake. A ridiculous fantasy. After all, who would ever want to date her.

"If that isn't the face of a girl in love, I don't know what is!"

The voice of that jewelry clerk played inside her head over and over again in a cacophony of nonplussed mortification. Every time those words replay in her mind, her heart beats a little faster. She has no idea how her face looks when she speaks so fondly about Ed. But… Did she really have the expression of a girl in love? Does she give out that kind of vibe?

Orihime wasn't sure what her feelings for the younger blond boy were, however, all she was sure about was that she wanted to stay with him, wake up with a 'good morning' and go to sleep with a goodnight', and have breakfast and dinner together. She wants to be with him, feel the warmth of his hand in hers, feel his kindness and comfort as he tenderly pats her head.

But most importantly, the strength and intensity in his golden eyes whenever he's determined and passionate about doing something always, always captivates her. They are so unbelievably bright and warm. Just like the sun.

She could feel her face heat up. Ever since that day… Ever since that dance… Her feelings for Ed began to act up and take a weird turn. They...kissed. There was no denying that's what happened at the dance. And they kissed again this morning. That second kiss caused her to realize...she enjoys kissing him. She wants to kiss him. Was that so wrong? She...likes...kissing…him. She really likes kissing Edward Elric!

Her mind and heart were constantly in conflict with one another when it came to this subject matter. She was in love with Ichigo, her mind would continue to remind her. However, her heart would ensure that what she's feeling for Ed is perfectly fine and natural. It was as simple as that. Was it really natural to want to kiss a man, even though she harbored feelings of love for a different guy? Was it really that simple? No, it wasn't that it was simple or natural. It's just that…

Her fondness for her blond haired companion was inescapable now. That's why she wants to try dating Edward. These conflicting emotions… They are agonizingly confusing.

The healer clenched her chest with her right hand. She doesn't understand what this feeling is, yet she wants to fathom and unravel its mystery. That's why she wants to try being a couple...w-with Ed.

Funnily, a year ago, the auburn haired girl would not accept dating any other boy who was not named Ichigo Kurosaki. Now, here she was contemplating and fussing about going out with a guy who was not Ichigo. How life takes a weird twist of fate.

Perhaps, Orihime should head to the library. Maybe she could spend the rest of her afternoon reading romance novels. If she was extra lucky, there could be some how to books on how to be in a romantic relationship. Surely, there is something that could teach what a magnificent and flawless girlfriend is supposed to be like.

She halted in her tracks. The sounds of people's footsteps hitting the pavement as they walked by, idly chatting with each other. Wait a second…! Wasn't Edward at the library attempting to do research on Hollows with Al?

A tremor of ruffling anxiety and perturbed self consciousness shoots through her body. She was a bundle of restless nerves. The boys started to take an interest in Hollows. It's not surprising. After all, bizarrely unexplainable incidents lately, is it any wonder why they are diving headlong into solving this enigma? Their inquisitive minds and righteous hearts won't let this rest. Her brows furrowed in apprehension.

The auburn haired girl continued on her way, aimlessly wandering around the city. A part of her was warning her that what Ed and Al was doing was extremely dangerous. That she should march towards the library, and demand that they drop this investigation. This has nothing to do with them. They won't gain anything when it comes to finding their bodies.

She has been trying so relentlessly to persuade Edward not to get any more involved in this Hollow and supernatural business. However, he just won't stop. Why not? What does he attain from it? What is he striving to accomplish? She has done her utmost best countless times, but each time he always seems more and more determined than last. Why? Why doesn't he give up? What more could she say to get him to stop?

She tried everything this morning, but nothing worked! Without giving away too much information, she had done the best she could to coax the blond alchemist away from all this, expressing her every emotion and fear for his safety. The further he dug into this supernatural business, the chances his destiny would change and become tragically twisted would increase. His life would be in constant peril! Doesn't he understand that?

The Hollow incidents, the mod souls, these preternatural events… When she poured her heart out, strongly conveying her distressing fears, she'd desperately hoped he would understand and back off. She had made some incredibly pretty valid arguments, too. Unfortunately, it still wasn't enough to make him abandon his search on Hollows.

It actually had the opposite effect. In fact, Ed seemed even more resolved to figure out this puzzling riddle. There was an intense, indecipherable emotion in his golden eyes that she could not fathom. Nevertheless, it left her breathless. Next thing she knew...she was kissing him.

Orihime could feel the stray tears leaking from her eyes. She was getting so emotional, but she couldn't help it! She wiped the tears away with a single finger. She kind of felt embarrassed and silly for crying in the middle of the street like this. And right after rejoicing about getting a present for her blond haired friend, too. For finally being able to pay him back for the earrings.

Why? Why doesn't he stop? Why is he so resolutely steadfast when it comes to this topic?

"Because it hurts me seeing you this hurt."

Her gray eyes widened, significantly as if realizing something crucial.

(FLASHBACK)

She ruefully shook her head. "That's not what I meant. I… I… I'm not talking about a physical sense or your appearance. You'll start to feel… I don't know how to put this… different. Your senses will change. You will start seeing things and hearing things and smelling things that...that aren't there."

Ed was beyond bewildered now. Her warnings were so vague and cryptic. He doesn't get it. He fried and wired his brain to identify her somewhat incomprehensible, cautious message, but came up short. Not surprisingly.

"That's why you stay away from all this...'freaky' supernatural stuff. If you keep getting yourself involved, Eddie, you'll change. You won't be the same person anymore. I know you don't if you understand what I'm saying or if you think I'm crazy, but believe me when I say this," she mumbled, gentle voice grave and solemn. "This is my burden to deal with. My duty and obligation. It has nothing to do with you, Eddie, and you don't have to concern yourself with me."

"Don't say that!" Edward almost bellowed, heatedly. His vehement outrage greatly surprised her. Now, he was furious. This was the anger and frustration that was so despondently subdued and sluggishly dull before. The raging fierceness and powerful, indescribable emotions in his golden orbs left her stunned and dumbstruck. It was as if his eyes burned, hotly and wildly with the fuming potency of an intense, warming sun. She couldn't...look...away.

The metal hand gripping hers, tightened, but more in a reposeful way than a hurtful one. "Don't say things like 'it's my burden to deal with' or 'I'll be fine by myself'! Don't give me that kind of bullshit! Don't treat me like I'm some ignorant fool who doesn't know the severity of what's going on! Do you seriously expect me to greet you with dumb smile like I'm some kind of clueless, self absorbed idiot whenever you get hurt?! And don't look at me with that pained expression on your face, and tell me not to concern myself when I know...we both know another freak like Amelia could be after you! Don't disregard me like I'm some kind of naive stranger!"

His eyes softened, considerably, showing that uncharacteristic warm tenderness he always possessed. "You are right," he said, softly. "I don't understand any of this. I don't know what the hell is going on anymore. Funny, I only started this journey, so I could figure out a way to return Al back to normal. Now, look at the crazy shit storm I've been pulled into. It's quite ironic, isn't it?" he grinned, pleasantly. "But it's because of this journey that I met you, Orihime. If there's one thing I'm grateful for, it's that."

Orihime remained silent, too overcome with emotion. She was so...happy. Just so happy. Her heart won't stop beating with elation.

"A long time ago, you made me a promise, right?" Edward resumed, kindly. "That you'll stay by my side until I get our bodies back? Now, here's my promise to you. No matter what happens, I'll always be by your side, Orihime." "Why?" The question was so low and soft, merely a light whisper. However, it held so much power that it conveyed everything she was feeling. Happiness. Hopefulness. Anxiety. Uneasiness. Fear. Uncertainty. But, most of all, a strong desire to believe in him. Believe in his words. All wrapped in one, small package.

"Because…" Ed clamped his mouth shut, realizing that the answer wasn't so simple. It wasn't an answer he could put into a few, easy words. It was more, way more complex than that. It was an intricate, tangled web of complicated reasonings, feelings, and emotions that it was impossible to narrow down. Narrowing it down won't do the answer any justice. There were so many because.

(END OF FLASHBACK)

"Because it hurts me seeing you this hurt."

Is that why Edward won't give up? Could that be it? Something so strong, yet so simple. A powerful, yearning desire to protect his friends? To protect her?

His passionate speech touched the very essence of her being. His heartfelt and warm conviction enraptured the depths of her heart. His bold declaration to stay by her side left her utterly baffled, astonishingly speechless. The kindness he showed her was unbearably comforting and invitingly gratifying. His impassioned argument left her absolutely lost for words. She had no idea he felt that way. All she could do was stare, stunned and flabbergasted.

Until… Finally… Moments later… She found her voice, and asked 'why' Why is he willing to go so far for her? Why is he so nice to her? Why is he so undisputedly kind to someone as worthless as her?

And when Ed kissed her, she could feel his every emotion. His delightful care for her. his persistent worry. His ever growing terror for her well being. His candid sincerity. His tender embrace. But, overall, there was a single emotion that was overflowing with immense desire and tender warmth. An emotion she couldn't quite put her finger on.

Orihime buried her face in her hands as she began to silently sob. Why? Why is Ed always so kind to her?

She didn't know if the tears pouring out were tears of joy or tears of sadness. She was so happy, yet so distraught. She was hopelessly confused, trapped in a torrent of conflicting emotions, and she didn't know what to do. What should she do? What is she thinking? There's nothing more she can do. Nothing she could say to convince him that what he's doing might change his life forever, and the change would be irreversible.

Orihime could feel the awkward gazes of passerbyers on her, most likely wondering why she was crying in the middle of the street. She furiously wiped the tears away. God, she was embarrassing herself in the middle of the street.

If she wanted to be a superlative girlfriend for Edward, she can't be all mopey like this. She has to stay bright and positive. She pushes the depressing gloom back into the deepest recesses of her heart. She can't let Ed see her as a pathetically weak and miserably fragile girl.

"Hey, missy."

Gray orbs glanced to see two guys about her age approaching her, each wearing that cool, sauve grins that sent unpleasant shivers down her spine.

However, it would be rude of her to treat strangers with distaste, so she plastered a polite smile on her countenance.

"What are you doing here all by yourself?" the brown haired guy asked, voice smooth and deep.

"A beautiful girl like you shouldn't be crying on the sidewalk like this," the blond haired one said, his tone light and airy.

When they drew closer to her, the healer noticed that they were wearing white. The brunette man had a white jacket, and blond friend had white shoes.

The smile on her face, tightened. She takes an involuntary step back without them noticing. Her stomach was twisting in uncomfortable knots. She promptly resisted the fraughtful urge to make a break for it. She reprimanded herself for thinking about running away in horrified fright. If she wants to be a stellar girlfriend for Ed, she has overcome her inane fear of the white.

How would she be able to hold his hand, if she is despairingly petrified of white? She does not want him to keep compensating for her weaknesses. She needs to be able to hold his hand without having to take off his gloves every time.

Although, no matter how much she reassured herself that she was fine, that she had nothing to fear, that she must be brave, she could not prevent her shoulders from tensing slightly.

"Don't I recognize you from somewhere?" the blond guy questioned with a curious tilt of his head.

"Oh, yeah," the brunette hummed after finally recognizing her. "Aren't you the pretty girl in the magazine? The well renowned Fullmetal Alchemist's girlfriend?"

Orihime stiffened at the mention of the picture, a wave of shameful embarrassment filled her. The men enclosed on either side of her, which caused her to become even more distressingly uncomfortable. She attempted to control her ragged breathing.

"You get in a fight with your boyfriend? That's why you are crying?"

"It ain't right that a worthless pipsqueak like him left a gorgeous woman like you all by your lonesome."

"Eddie's not my boyfriend," she finally spoke, meekly, feeling the need to correct the misunderstanding of their relationship.

"Oh?" the blond inquired, seeming somewhat intrigued. "You guys break up?" He shot his friend a sidelong glance while smirking, triumphantly. He quickly wiped the smirk away into a mock frown of dejection, green eyes, synthetically sympathetic.

Although, it was already too late as Orihime took note of their smugly obnoxious attitudes. She was fully aware they were trying to come off as solicitously kind and gentlemanly altruistic, but, unfortunately for them, she could pick up the haughty condescension laced in their tone. She didn't like the disturbingly unnerving way they gazed at her with hungry, predatory eyes.

She may be inexperienced when it comes to romance and how romantic relationships work due to never having a boyfriend before or dating even once, however, she could discern how secretly happy they were at the prospect of her being single. She wasn't foolishly credulous enough not to read the discomforting detestable atmosphere or the pompous arrogant auras the men were exuding.

When the auburn haired girl felt the brown haired guy accidentally brush against her, she was immediately hit by an abhorrent wave of disconcerting nausea. In a flash, she inwardly gritted her teeth, lips curled backwards as she forcefully swallowed a bile of frantic repulsiveness that was threatening to come up back down her throat.

She frantically suppressed the instinctive impulse to flee as quickly as her feet could carry, reminiscent of a frightened child. She subconsciously reached up and fiddled with her earring for some kind of reassurance. Her whole body won't stop trembling out of sheer, unadulterated fear, no matter how desperately she wills it to.

The manner in their eyes roamed her, crudely assessing her with their disconcerting sleazy leers caused her to become upsettingly agitated. There was no comforting warmth, no pleasant tenderness, and no fervent care in their gazes. Their bland kindness was nothing more than an inconsiderate illusion. There was absolutely nothing in the way they looked at her that made her feel…special. Like she was a precious treasure!

Their eyes were...not like Ed's at all!

"I'm going to be a good girlfriend. I'm going to be a good girlfriend. I'm going to be a good girlfriend," she internally chanted to herself as some sort of a soothing mantra. It was as if she was reminding herself of why she must resolve herself of her shortcomings. If she let her crippling fright and dreadful panic control her now, then it'll just validate that she's a pathetically weak girl. A helpless girl who can't stand up on her own two feet, and continuously needs to be protected. A worthless, good for nothing burden to everyone around her.

"Listen. How about you hang with us? We can get a cup of coffee or something."

"Yeah. We'll treat you way better than your ex boyfriend."

Their dishonesty was making her physically sick, though she did her best not to let it outwardly show. Her smile was straining so much, the corners of her lips were beginning to hurt. The queasiness in her stomach won't go away as the men are further invading her personal space. Her once steady heartbeats were pounding harder and harder against her ribcage. Her left hand held the bag in a deathly tight grip, despite how sweaty and clammy her palms were becoming.

Though, there was a shimmer of seething anger and aggravating disrelish that coursed inside her. The sheer, deplorable arrogance of these men attempting to manipulate her perceived hurt feelings of rejection, and take advantage of her heart by being superficially caring was odiously despicable. Especially with the way they weren't seeing her as a person, but nothing more than delicious slabs of meat for hungry dogs. A part of her was starting, or perhaps already has started for some time now despising dishonest men. Wait… Scratch that. Not just men, but people in general.

Orihime took a step back in an effort to give herself more breathing room. Otherwise, the pungent taste in her mouth would not go away. A streak of discomforting embarrassment spread across her face as she witnessed passerbyers staring at them and whispering among themselves from her peripheral vision.

"No thanks. I'm good," she said, tightly, doing her best to conceal her unease.

"Aw, come on!" the blond whined. "We'll make it worth your while."

"Please. Really… I'm okay."

"There's no need to be shy."

When the brown haired guy reached his hand out to her, something inside the auburn haired healer snapped.

There was a shriek of panic and fear that was uncannily close by. Was it her scream? It was followed shortly afterwards by a loud thud, and a painful groan.

What happened? She couldn't comprehend it. Everything was happening so fast. It was all a big blur. One minute the man was reaching out to her. She felt the skin of his fingertips brush slightly against the midnight blue sleeve of her jacket. The man was on the concrete ground the very next minute.

"What was that for, you bitch?" the blond haired man yelled, angered at how his friend was undeservingly, in his green perspective, thrown.

"The hell?" the man on the ground grunted, his back still in pain. "You crazy skank!"

"I...I-I" the healer stammered, voice filled with jolting fright, horrifying dismay, and alarming stupefaction. Her gray orbs were wide and wild like a caged, frightened animal. Beads of cold trepidation covered her forehead with some rolling down the sides of her countenance. She pressed her terrifying trembling hands against her chest. The nauseous queasiness in the pit of her stomach returned tenfold with a vengeance. Her throat clamped up, making it harder to breathe. She was beginning to feel dizzy with anxiety.

"Don't just stand there, you dumb broad! Apologize already!" the blond demanded, either coldly ignoring or clearly unsympathetic to her growing harrowing panic and foreboding distress.

The man's furious outbursts were causing, thus a small crowd began to form around them. Unfortunately, this caused the healer's anxiety to become worse, especially her eyes were laser focused on. Every. Single. Stripe. Of. White. Clothing the faceless strangers had on. Her chest started to constrict so much it was becoming hellishly painful. White. White. White was everywhere!

Whispers of the crowd appeared to blur together. The poor girl's vision distorted as she felt dizzy with festering apprehension and tense agitation. It was all becoming too much. Just too much. All she heard was the frantic pounding of her heart against her ear as her heartbeat's pace continued to accelerate by the second.

When gray eyes witnessed a hand accidentally reaching towards her bag, the bag that contained a gift for Edward, she reacted. Horribly. "DON'T TOUCH THAT!" she screamed out of complete and utter terror stricken panic. Her mind was freaking out, going into hysterics. Her booming shriek was reminiscent of a trapped, cornered, and terrified animal, managing to temporarily stun the crowd as everyone stood stock still and unable to react.

Without thinking, the auburn haired girl rushed past the crowd. She didn't know where she was running. She just ran and ran and ran without ever stopping or looking back. Her breathing was coming out in extremely ragged, short breaths. She desperately clenched the bag tightly to her chest as if it was her lifeline.

"You're worthless, Orihime!"

"Nothing more than a useless burden."

"We told you to stay out of the way. You only cause trouble."

"Ichigo lost his powers because of you, Orihime! Don't you feel ashamed of yourself?!"

The distorted voices of her 'friends' continued to cruelly ridicule and brutally mock her. She was acutely aware that the voices were not her friends. Edward had informed her that Amelia had the power to create realistically nightmarish illusions. However, they didn't make what they were unrelentingly, viciously criticizing her for any less true.

If she wasn't so weak, she wouldn't have gotten kidnapped. If she wasn't so weak, she wouldn't have needed to be saved. And if she wasn't so weak, Ichigo wouldn't have lost his powers. Illusion of her deepest, darkest, worst memories and fears or not, that doesn't change the fact that she's the one to blame for everything. It's all her fault!

Every hurtful word pierced through her heart like a white hot vice. The physiological torment was simply too much for her to bear. The only thing she could do was mentally apologize to the sneering hallucinations of voices in her head over and over again for her weakness. The weakness that nearly killed Ichigo and ruined his life. The muscles in her legs were starting to burn. Although, all she could think about was escaping. Escape from what? Even she doesn't know.

Eventually, Orihime was extremely worn out and exhausted. Her legs were so tired from running, she could barely stand up anymore. She had found herself in an empty alleyway, her entire body leaning against the wall for support. Her lungs were burning with every deep gulf of air she took. Her face was smeared with desolate sweats and despairing tears. The sickening, squeamish feeling in her stomach was excruciatingly heavy. It took all her willpower to barely hold it down.

"You did this to me. Because of you…! Because of you, I ended up in this mess! Because of you, I lost my powers! You ruined my life! YOU KILLED ME, ORIHIME!"

That did it. Orihime hurled up the contents of her stomach. Her breakfast launched out of her mouth, splashing onto the ground with a horridly off putting, repugnantly stomach churning noise. She heaved out every bit of vain positivity she had until there was nothing left anymore. Nothing more than a bile of excess stressful angst, disgruntled hopelessness, and miserable garbage. All that was left in her mouth was a horribly disgusting taste of forlornly dismal failure.

Her whole body was thoroughly drained. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. All that resolve about being and becoming stronger was gone in almost an instant. Perhaps, her determination was shamefully flimsy from the start. She had promised herself, vowed to herself that she wouldn't ask for help. Not for something as pathetically trivial as this.

Maybe...she isn't a good enough girlfriend for Ed, after all. Her being someone's lover was nothing more than wishful thinking on her part. How could she if she freaks out over something ridiculously silly? What an utter disappointment she was to herself and the people around her. There's no way someone as pitifully worthless as her could be girlfriend material. She'll just be a hopeless embarrassment.

The auburn haired girl felt a hand, instantly causing her to jump with a silent scream. When she saw that it was only Gracia with little Elicia, she promptly relaxed her shoulders and muscles, and let out a sigh of relief. Though, the brown haired woman appeared somewhat startled by her reaction, not really expecting it.

"Are you okay, Orihime?" Gracia asked, worriedly. "You look rather...pale." That was the understatement of the year. She looked like an absolute mess. Her eyes were red and puffy with dried tears. There was no escaping the look of genuine fear and anxiety in them. They also seemed somewhat glazed and unfocused as if she was scarcely seeing her. Perspiration patted her forehead, causing some auburn strands of her to stick to her face. There was a smudge of sickly yellowish green substance on the right corner of her mouth, and judging by the gross matter near her feet of the same color… It wasn't difficult to put two and two together.

"Oh… Hi, Ms. Gracia," Orihime greeted, shakily. Even her voice sounded tired and weak.

A worried frown stretched across the older woman's lips. Her young daughter stepped forward, tentatively. She gazed at the older girl's unappealing form. Elicia was presently conscious of the infectiously gloomy atmosphere. She knew this was not a playful situation, or a pleasant reunion for laughter, cheers, and fun. It was somberly serious.

"Big sis, you don't look so good," the little pig tailed girl stated, innocently, her light brown brows scrunched up in concern. "Are you sick?"

Orihime opened and closed her mouth several times, unable to form a coherent sentence, her mind too numb to conjure up any cohesive thought. She blankly stared at the mother daughter duo.. Finally, she settled on looking down at her feet in mortifying shame.

An easy, comforting spread across Gracia's lips. "Why don't you come and clean yourself up at our house?"

The young teen could only simply nod her head, solemnly.

Orihime was seated on the burgundy sofa of the Hughes' household, being invited over by the kind and concerned matriarch. The woman was kind enough to let her use the bathroom to clean herself first. She used a generous amount of iris scented liquid hand soap and refreshingly cool water to clean her face of the dried tears, gross sweat, and the leftover essence of puke lingering from the right corner of her mouth. Luckily, none of the filthy, stomach turning residue managed to get on her clothes, shoes, or hair, which she was exceedingly thankful for.

As she sat, her whole body wouldn't stop trembling, no matter how much she wished it to. She was so incredibly anxious. The nerves in her hands and fingertips were going haywire. She firmly clasped her hands in a futile attempt to control her nervous fidgeting. The uneasiness she felt in the pit of her stomach caused her to shift restlessly in her seat.

Elicia was busy playing with the brown teddy bear the healer had given her as a present. She was mindful enough to know Orihime was not in the mood or right state of mind for idle chit chat.

The auburn haired healer heard the light clatter of a cup being placed on the wooden table. Gray orbs glanced at the cup that contained steaming, piping hot tea, wearily.

"Here you go, sweetie," Gracia smiled, kindly. "This should calm you down a little."

Orihime bobbed her noggin in appreciation. "Okay. Thank you," she murmured, lowly, her voice barely audible. She reached out, and carefully picked up the tea cup. She hears the brown haired matriarch take a seat across from her, however, she is too nervous to look up. Her eyes were focused on the tea. She observed the appetizingly brown liquid ripple lightly with vibration patterns, indicating how much she was quivering.

The healer brought it to her lips. She quietly blew on it to cool it down before taking a tiny sip. The semi hot, flavorful tea gently gushed down her throat, warming her up from the inside out. The sweetness of the liquid was quite delectable.

All the while, she was very grateful that Gracia hadn't spoken a word. She has instead decided to be patient, and wait for the young girl to get her bearings first. She was immensely glad for her wordless consideration. What could she say after the woman descried her in such an undignifiedly pathetic state? She felt really agitated just sitting here so anxious and unsure.

"Thank you for having me over," Orihime finally started, timidly, her tone just slightly above an octave of a whisper. "I hope I'm not intruding or anything."

"No. It's no problem at all," Gracia responded, kindly. "I was on my way to do some grocery shopping, and I saw you running by."

"Oh…," the healer said, dejectedly. She glanced over at Elicia. She smiled, wistfully melancholic at the cheerful child happily playing with the bear she gifted. "I'm happy Elicia is enjoying the bear I gave her."

"She loves it! She often wants to take it everywhere with her." The brown haired woman gazed at the young teen, seemingly relieved for some reason. The auburn haired healer remembered catching a glimpse of the young three year old tugging the stuffed animal along when they spotted her.

"She really misses you," the matriarch continued, softly.

As if on cue, Elicia stood up from her spot on the floor, and ran towards Orihime, hugging her legs. She beamed, brightly at her. "Sis! It's nice to see you again!" she greeted, happily. "You weren't here when sissy, big brother, and little older brother showed up."

The teenage girl smiled back at the little girl. The oldest woman in the room frowned, concerned at the obviously forced smile. It saddens her at how much the young girl constrains herself to mask her pain. Her whole body has been entirely stiff since before coming here. Though, fortunately, the calming sweet, soothingly warm tea helped her tense muscles and shoulders to relax a little bit. She seems to constantly be on edge. It was painful to survey the once cheerfully energetic auburn haired girl deteriorate into a heartbreaking dispirited shell of her former self. Her gray eyes used to be so vibrant with enthusiastic wonder and gentle compassion. Now it was murky being marked by a dull listlessness and harrowingly despondent. The auburn haired healer's overall appearance was most definitely worse than the time she was forlornly gloomy while Ed was hospitalized.

Although, the brown haired matriarch's interactions with the healer had been somewhat short and brief and few and far between, Gracia has learned that despite being nearly as emotional as Winry in some aspects, Orihime isn't as open with her problems like Ed's blonde haired childhood friend. She was beginning to realize that now. Her perpetual silence was proof of that. Does her more milder personality contribute to it? Or is it something else? Or maybe she's silent because she doesn't know what to say. She was caught in a humiliatingly unsightly moment.

"Sorry, Elicia," Orihime said, sheepishly, though there was no glimmer of gleefully playful light in her eyes. She laughed, but it was a laugh that was so utterly dead and lifeless, it was uncannily disturbing to listen to. Her heart was not in it. Her words sounded empty and hollow. It truly was a heartbreaking sight to bear witness to.

Gracia initially thought that maybe she had gotten into some sort of argument with Edward earlier. That's why the gentle healer seemed so dejected. It wasn't so hard to come to that conclusion. After all, she used to be quite a very sensitive and carefree teenage girl herself. She had a boyfriend or two before meeting, falling in love, and marrying Maes. She'd gotten into rough fights with her past lovers. She always came home aggravatingly angry and downheartedly depressed, and refused to speak, much less interact with them for a few days.

She even had a few fights with her deceased husband. What can she say? Not every marriage is as smooth sailing as people delude themselves into believing. Every marriage has its rough patches both before and after it. And if people don't believe that or become easily discouraged over that verity, then they are just not ready for that lifetime commitment. The key to overcoming these onerous trials and tribulations is a satisfyingly good communication and mutually fair compromise.

She thought the situation was like that. She thought… Oh, how wrong she was.

Conversely, the revoltingly yellowish green substance on the paved ground should have been her first clue that this was way more than just a lovers' quarrel. Second, should be the dejectedly hopeless, devastatingly vacant expression on the auburn haired healer's countenance. She grossly underestimated how dire the situation was.

Orihime continued to converse with her young daughter, seamlessly keeping her voice steady and clear of any sadness and despair. Though, the same could not be said with what's reflected in her gray orbs. She kept the conversation very light and easy, merely asking simple questions like how has Elicia's, or has anything exciting happened to her lately? She mostly listened while Elicia happily rambled on.

In the midst of the conversation, the little three year old had climbed up on the sofa with her brown teddy bear in tow. The apprehension she felt a few moments ago completely dissipated. However, ignorantly naive, innocent Elicia was totally oblivious to mortifying turmoil that was rooted in the auburn haired girl's heart. Blissfully unaware, the energetic, small, pigtailed haired girl carried on with how her day went with the older, auburn haired girl silently listening to her every excited word.

Gracia, on the other hand, was not as fooled as her ingenious daughter. The shakiness in her tone… The depressing emptiness in it… Her half broken smile… It was devastating to comment on it, but the healer's dolorously shattered expression was significantly five times worse than when Ed and Al showed up at her apartment all dolefully guilty and dishearteningly defeated. She was similar to a flower that had a few of its petals plucked. Fortunately, it was still standing strong, but just barely with the gray clouds of depression blocking any sunlight from brightening it up.

The matriarch sighed, hopelessly, strongly desiring to do more to help the young girl unwind and loosen up. Perhaps, this has nothing to do with matters of a maiden's heart, and was something more serious. More sinister.

Maybe the brown haired woman was looking at this the wrong way. Her green eyes widened, slightly in horrified realization. Wasn't Edward part of the military? Maybe he was sent on an ultra dangerous mission. And knowing Alphonse and Orihime, they'd most definitely want to tag along. There's a high probability that something super traumatic happened on that mission. Something so excruciatingly agonizing that it left the healer with severe mental trauma and torturous emotional scar in her heart. She never considered that!

She had recalled stories of what happened to soldiers when they returned home after the Ishvalan Civil War was over. Stories of soldiers suffering from trauma induced nightmares, and developing self destructive habits such as drinking alcohol until they pass out, excessive smoking, or getting into drugs. Reports of soldiers going into an early retirement because they just couldn't handle it anymore. The gruesome splatters of blood and human flesh on the ground… The horrifying smell of death in the air. The harrowing screams of agony… Unable to grasp the very real concept of going to another war again, they decided to cut their losses and quit the military.

The brown haired widow may not have experienced a war, and she hopes she never does in her lifetime, but she has read several books on the subject. At first, it was out of curiosity. When they were dating, Maes was sent off to participate in the Ishvalan War of Extermination. She was curious to know what to expect when a soldier goes to fight on the battlefield. To an ordinary civilian like her, war is such a foreign concept. It has no merit. A simple, meaningless word.

Once again, it was merely a curiosity she wanted to satisfy to quench her nerves. During her free time, she would travel to the library to check out books on the subject. After that, she'd spend, at least, an hour or two reading in the living room or her bedroom with a delightfully hot cup of green tea at hand and a plate of tasty cookies.

Nevertheless, the more she read, the more uneasily discouraged she felt. With all the horribly gruesome...things that can happen to a person during war, a sickening sensation of fearful nausea had overtaken her. There were things actually worse than merely being wounded and/or dying on the battlefield? Gracia had to swallow down a generously small amount of puke at just the mere image of Maes being tragically crippled for life, losing some vital bodily functions, or having severed pieces of him delivered to her in separate body bags.

And, notwithstanding the cruel and unusual deaths, the physical scars were the least of her worries. She had to intensely prepare herself for any mental or emotional scars her at the time boyfriend may receive during the aftermath of all the ferociously brutal battles. As much of an incredibly scary notion it was, she was not going to be a willfully ignorant wife, and pretend her husband wasn't one of the people sent off to war that would last who knows how long.

All that didn't matter in the end though. All that studying and readiness was for not.

At least...at first.

In the beginning, Maes was steadfast in his resolve to keep her at arm's length. To hide any pain, especially if it had something to do with the recent war, behind a craftly cheerful facade and a feigned, lighthearted smile. She'd recalled the usual, falsely easygoing lines he would give her, hoping it'd calm her disquieted anxiety. Lines like 'it's nothing, Gracia', 'I'm fine, Gracia', or 'no need to worry, Gracia'.

The brown haired woman tried so very hard to remain considerate. She contemplated giving him some space. He'll come around and let her in eventually, she told herself. Unfortunately, the more time passed, the more her worry partially transformed into hurt and anger. It was so aggravatingly bad and infuriatingly insulting that, one day, she indignantly slapped him with vexed waterworks streaming down her face. She furiously yelled and sobbed about how unfairly he was treating her. What was she to him? What was she, huh?! Was she nothing more than a delicate, mindless doll who's supposed to carry on being stupidly clueless and pitifully empty headed all the while cooking and cleaning and smiling, prettily?

She knew it was wrong to lash out. He had returned from war only five months prior. But she was driven mad with besetting anguish. She knows he can't inform her of anything military related, particularly when it comes to classified secrets, yet he doesn't need to be so unnecessarily distant from her. Was she not his partner? Was she not supposed to be considered his equal? Was she worthlessly inferior to him that talking to her would be deemed downright pointless, and she should just stay in the kitchen? Does he...not trust her?

Once she settled down and Maes got over his stunned shock, they had a nice, long talk. She conveyed almost every negative emotion she was feeling on part being emotionally neglected. He wholeheartedly apologized for making her feel useless and unreliable, and fatefully expressed that he would never make her feel like that. That he would do his utmost best to come to her when he has a problem, knowing if it was with way around and she was the one suffering from post traumatic stress disorder induced nightmares, then subsequently brushing off his concerns with a 'don't worry about it', he'll feel immensely hurt as well.

That conversation strengthened their relationship greatly. It was that foundation that helped them build a happy, healthy marriage.

Back at the matter at hand, Gracia was vastly worried for Orihime's mental wellbeing, if what she feared was indeed correct. Battles and fights and the resulting scars, both mentally and emotionally, weren't exactly her specialties. What she does understand to an extreme degree is that she can't simply bring it up willy nilly, notably if it's something that is recent and military related.

She racked her brain for something, anything that she could do for the depressingly distraught girl. And the only thing she could come up with is to undoubtedly put her mind at ease. The best method for that that the brown haired matriarch could ruminate on was to purposely draw the auburn haired girl's mind away from her trauma. Even if it's temporary.

"When the boys and Winry dropped by the other day, Elicia was wondering where you and Nina were," Gracia started, attempting to begin a conversation that was light and casual. Greetings were unnecessary because it'd just be repetitively redundant.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner," the young schoolgirl responded, apologetically. I was...busy," she finished, lamely.

"No need to apologize. Edward told me you had something come up suddenly," the older woman smiled, gently.

"Y-yeah," the healer said, sheepishly, but didn't reach her eyes. A prickle of guilt at her. "I wished I could've been here earlier to pay my respects to Mr. Hughes."

She lightly chuckled in such a bittersweet fashion. "Truthfully, I really do miss him. How...has it been...without your husband around anymore? I mean, are you doing okay, Ms. Gracia?" Orihime inquired, politely, not wanting to offend the widow, gray orbs staring at her, sympathetically.

"It was hard at first," Gracia answered, honestly. "And learning about how he died made it even harder." She quietly took a tiny sip of her tea to soothe herself of the glimmer of sadness and grief she was starting to feel in her heart. It's been over a month since Hughes's death, and yet the tragic reminder of it still causes her heart to ache in distressing pain. Nevertheless though, as bitterly upsetting her husband's passing was, there exists a strange sensation of...calmness within her. No, not calmness. It's more along the lines of disinclined tranquility. Serendipitous content. Having absolute closure.

Yeah, that's what it was!

Ed and Al coming to her apartment to apologize for involving him in their problems, and subsequently indirectly getting him killed slowly began to wholly terminate any lingering feelings of deluded hope and foolish belief she may have had up until that point. A belief that Maes is still alive out there somewhere, and is merely in hiding, patiently waiting for the right moment to make his epic return. After all, he can't be seen in public walking around all willy nilly and carefree. Not after someone or some people already made an attempt on his life once. From an outsider's perspective, she'd probably come across as a pitifully desperate woman, who can't accept her husband's passing.

Although, that was not the only thing that drove Gracia to accept that Maes would never come back.

She gracefully set her cup back with a soft 'click' when it gently collided with the coster. Orihime continued to stare at her with apprehensive, gray eyes. Her fidgety hands curled into themselves.

"But talking to those boys..." the brown haired woman resumed the previous colloquy. "...Helped me realize they aren't the only ones that need to keep moving forward. It appeared that I need to do some moving on as well," she admitted with a wistfully resigned undertone. By the puzzled look on the young girl's face, she could tell her odd confession caught her attention.

Elicia had stopped talking, quietly listening with her teddy bear placed on her lap. Though her mommy was talking in her usual gentle and kind tone, her voice sounded weirdly sad yet strangely happy. Her three year old mind could not place the exact emotion. Complex emotions were too foreign for her to comprehend. All she knew was that mommy was talking about daddy with a weird expression on her face. After realizing that, she quickly clamped her mouth shut, intently listening in on whatever her mommy had to say.

"Daddy..." Elicia thought, sadly. After those mean people covered her daddy in dirt, he hasn't come back home. Mommy tried to explain to her young mind that he was 'buried, and what they went to was a 'funeral'. She doesn't understand. All she understood was that her daddy had a lot of paperwork that needed to be done, and those meanies threw dirt on him. Because of that, daddy has not come home in forever.

She was sad, and she became sadder and sadder each day her daddy didn't return home. Sometimes, after her mommy tugs her into bed, she would silently cry herself to sleep when her mommy would leave her room. Daddy was the one who used to tug her into bed, and sometimes read her bedtime stories. She missed her daddy so much! Everyday...she would wait for her daddy to return home with hopeful anticipation and an excitedly gleeful heart. However, the innocent expectations of an eagerly happy, very young child was torn to shreds one strand at a time as each day passed with her yearning wish being methodically crushed. The little girl dearly wished for her daddy to come home.

What was worse? Was seeing her mommy crying. Elicia's fragile heart was broken once again at the moment. It was the day when big sissy came to visit. She doesn't recall what happened on the grounds that she was taking a nap. All she remembered was waking up to her mommy sobbing after Winry left. It felt like her entire family was breaking apart, and she can't fully grasp why! Why? Why was this happening to her? What did she do to deserve this? Was she...a bad girl?

That has been the poor girl's thought process for the past few days. Until…

Until…something magical happened!

Daddy sent her a letter!

When Elicia heard her mommy announce that daddy had a letter for, she was immediately overcome with great elation and rejuvenated joy. Unfortunately, she could not read the letter. There were too many words her three year old couldn't comprehend, so she asked her mommy to read the letter for her. She eagerly listened to her mommy with rapt attention.

The young three year old doesn't fully recollect the entire letter from daddy. It's been too long. At least, in her underdeveloped mind. But...but she remembered the important parts!

Daddy was really, really sorry for not being able to come back home, and he may not be able to come home anymore. At that part, she deflated, her face drooped with sadness. Fortunately, she managed to perk up a little when her concerned mommy resumed reading the letter. Hearing how much her daddy loved her and cherished her and was so proud of her made Elicia super, super, super happy! Her daddy told her he'd always be watching over her in heaven. With a tight smile, her mommy finally conveyed to her that daddy was living up in the sky now, and he was over them from above the clouds.

Delightfully euphoric yet curiously puzzled, the three year old questioned her mommy on what 'heaven' means. Strangely, when she asked that, her mommy was uncomfortable and reluctant to clarify it for her. Yet, to her innocently naive mind, she sensed nothing wrong and accepted it without uncertainty. All Elicia cared about is making her mommy happy and proud, and that she'll grow up to be a beautiful, kind, smart, and lovely big girl just like daddy said!

"If I'm truly being honest with myself, a part of me was clinging to some futile hope that Maes would miraculously be revived to return to me, to us," Gracia continued on with her discussion with Orihime. "But those boys helped me realize those thoughts were wrong. Both them...and the letter I received from my late husband," she smiled with all the satisfying fulfillment and blissful content she could muster.

Yes, when the oldest woman had first gotten the posthumous epistle, she was...kind of...suspicious. Her initially emotional response when she, or rather they, both her and her daughter received their respective letters was stunned bewilderment and shocked wonder. There was also a whirl of fear that stabbed her in the heart. The fact that they got his last message indicated that he was strongly aware that he might die that night. When that terrifying notion came to her, Gracia practically tore the letters open, and read through the contents. And… Although, it was supposedly a letter from her husband, it...that...what was written in there...the calligraphy was not Maes handwriting. She would know. She knows Maes distinctive writing style. She was his wife, after all.

However, the words written in there were definitely from Maes! She would recognize his speech pattern anywhere! Every thought, feeling, and emotion… It was all Maes. It had his cheerful quirkiness dripped with overwhelming love or lamenting regret at certain parts. Did he have someone write his dying words as he was...well...dying? That would make logical sense, given the fact that he would be incapable of moving from being too weak due to blood loss. If so, she'd wished she could thank that person sincerely for letting her be able to hear her husband's last words. She just wished...she could've told him one last time how much she loved him, and how being with him, growing and nurturing a family with him and their adorable daughter, Elicia, were one of the happiest days of her life! Return the sentiment he showed her in the epistle.

Orihime twitched when she heard Gracia confirming that she received her letter from 'Hughes'. "If Ms. Gracia has finally gotten her letter, then that must mean the others might've gotten their letters as well," she inwardly concluded. She shifted in her seat, nervously. Although, she felt extremely glad the letters had arrived, the faint sensation of guilt that throbbed in her veins was acutely growing in intensity. The sense that someone would realize that the letters weren't written was overflowing her with tense trepidation. And somewhere deep down, the auburn haired girl had the feeling that the brown haired widow knew that the letters weren't actually sent by her late husband. Even though she was happy that the woman had embraced some closure for herself, there is still the worry that someone will not.

She was not gullible enough to believe that. She just hoped they would look beyond who wrote the letter, and instead focus on the meaning and heart of the letter. That possibility made her really nervous. And combined with the mortifying shame and crushing embarrassment she was feeling already from the incident earlier, it was not a good feeling to say the least.

It's not like anyone would believe in ghosts or spirits anyway.

She tried acting casual, and gingerly took a sip of her tea to calm her rising nerves. "Mr. Hughes sent you a letter, Ms. Gracia?" she asked, feigning surprise. She tried acting natural like the letter was complete news to her.

Gracia beamed, tearfully. "Yes. Although, I do get the idea that the letter was written by someone else though." The younger girl tried not to stiffen at that. "It was really...wonderful to be able to read my husband's last words."

The healer nodded her head, setting her finished teacup back down. "I'm glad it helped you find closure, Ms. Gracia," she responded, genuinely happy for the widow. "Have you…? Have you thought about what you are going to do?" she inquired, somewhat concerned.

Gracia furrowed her brown eyebrows, reflectively. She leaned back, relaxing her shoulders a bit. She was somewhat glad that Orihime was starting to finally talk to her, and hold up a conversation. That empty eyed look didn't suit her. It was so unnerving to view the teenage girl as a frail, nearly broken doll. A perfectly porcelain doll that's been shattered, torn, and cracked in certain places like fractured glass.

"I guess, I'll have to start job searching," she answered. "I can't keep using our savings forever. Sooner or later, we'll run out of money. I was thinking of getting a job at the flower shop, or at the bakery around the corner. I have a friend who works at the flower shop, who is considering recommending me to the manager. If I decide that I want the job, of course."

"That's good! I hope you do get it!" Orihime cheered for her.

Gracia smiled, appreciatively. "Thank you, Orihime," she replied, sincerely. Her green orbs eyed the bag leaning against the burgundy sofa at the auburn haired girl's side.

Wasn't that the bag that Orihime brought in? She remembered when she found her in the alley. She was clenching that bag to her chest as if her life depended on it. Whatever was in it must've been extremely important to the young teenager. She wouldn't let go of it, no matter what. She had to gently goad her into setting it down.

"If you don't my prying, Orihime, what is in the bag?" the brown haired woman asked, curiously.

The instant she heard her ask that, Orihime's face flushed. The anxiety of mortifying humiliation that tickled the nerves under the skins of her hands, stomach, and chest were temporarily replaced with shy nervousness.

"T-the bag… I bought it from the jewelry store earlier," she answered, bashfully. "It's a present for Eddie. I don't know if I told you this, Ms. Gracia, but these earrings that I wear, Eddie gave them to me." She timorously fiddled with her thumbs and forefingers. "And I thought of getting him a pr-pr-present in return."

The recently new widow smiled, happily. She can't really explain it properly in words, but she was feeling immensely relieved when Orihime finally expressed something other than the vacantly passionless, spiritlessly flat tone she's been using since being invited over. The timid embarrassment exuding from her was rather adorable, and is kind of an improvement, if she does say so herself. Plus, Gracia was now more sure than ever that the young healer was in love with Edward.

"However…" Her expression morphed into one of sadness, and the woman frowned in concern at that. "...I don't know if I can give it to him." She squeezed her slightly trembling hands together, tightly. "I really messed up today." Her mind flashbacked to her freak out earlier. Time after time, she's always causing trouble. It's just...seeing all those white...petrified her. "I-I don't think I can give it to him now."

Why can't she overcome her pathetic fear? She tried so hard to self motivate herself, but nothing ever seems to work. She was weak! That's why. So terribly inadequate and pitifully weak! She's constantly a burden to everyone around her. Even her resolve was horribly and tragically flimsy at best. She thought she could do it. She really thought that she could...be better. Who would have thought that a silly, little color could turn the healer into an incompetent, good for nothing coward?

Gracia stared at the distressed healer with an expression akin to worry. Seeing such a pained look on the auburn haired girl's countenance was gut wrenchingly agonizing. She recollected how her bright smiles were always so full of sunshine and rainbows. It felt as though nothing could get the girl down. The widow fondly remembered how utterly filled joy and laughter she was when she made a hot pot and a cheese fondue for everyone to eat. She was the type of girl who brought cheerful smiles and enlivened happiness everywhere she went. She was like the sun, pulling anyone and anything to her radiant orbit. A comforting presence that was overflowing with warmth and compassion.

Now, it seemed like all the energy...all the life was almost completely drained from her. It was uncannily surreal to see her heartbreakingly depressed. The young girl appearing so despondently lifeless and disturbingly hollow was dreadfully unsettling. It was almost as if she was a totally different person than she was back then. She was almost...unrecognizable, and that was truly frightening. She feared for the girl's emotional wellbeing.

But… She's finally talking. Not only that, but also gave her a clue to what's troubling her, to what caused her to be downright reclusively distraught. That's good, right? It's a step in the right direction. Right?

"I'm sure Edward won't mind," the brunette woman spoke, reassuringly, hoping the encouragement would cheer her up. If only a tiny bit. "Even if you told him what happened, you won't view you any less, Orihime."

Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect.

"No!" Gracia started at Orihime's outcry of sheer panic and devastating distress. "Please, don't tell Eddie! Please!" She fists tightened around the fabric of her black pants, and whole body was shaking, uncontrollable. Her gray eyes were wild with alarming fear and unspeakable dread. The unexpected outburst rendered the brunette mother stunned speechless and utterly baffled.

"Big sis?" Elicia murmured, concerned and wide eyed confusion.

Orihime, for her part, could not grasp what was being said. Concerns and worries of bewilderment were merely all blurs in the wind. As soon as the words 'Edward' and 'told him what happened' were mentioned in nearly the same sentence, everything became pitch black. A disconcertingly chilling wave of unnerving trepidation crashed against her, violently, crushing her under its paralyzing torrents.

Tell him?! Tell Edward?! Tell Edward about today's incident?!

"You ruined my life! YOU KILLED ME, ORIHIME!"

No! No way! She can't do that! She can't ask for help, even if it's indirectly! Telling him would be the same as hiding behind his back. She can't! She absolutely can't do that!

Ed can't know about this! It'll ruin her chances of her being his ideal girlfriend! She'll try better next time! She promised! She couldn't bear the notion of Edward looking at her with utter disappointment. Her chance would be shot before she was even able to begin. She doesn't want her chances to be ruined before she's without even being able to make it to the starting line! Just the horrid prospect of Ed regarding her with disappointment and shame frightened her in unimaginable ways.

She deeply wishes to stop showing her pitifully weak and vulnerable side to the blond haired alchemist. She could not prevent her entire body from quivering, unmanageably. Her chest tightened so much, it was becoming rather difficult to breathe. Her face was smeared with cold sweat, and strands of her auburn hair were beginning to stick, repulsively to her face.

She doesn't know what was worse. Facing Ed's look of disappointment or being the indirect cause of him losing something precious? All the auburn haired girl knows how to do is disappoint people. Her brother died because she was an ungrateful burden to him. Ichigo lost his powers because she was a useless burden, who couldn't defend herself. She was a failure in every single way. In the grand scheme of things, her accomplishments are worth nothing. Nada. Zilch. She doesn't want Edward to go through that. She doesn't want him to see how broken she is.

The auburn haired healer has already decided to bottle up all her pain and sorrow. She should strive to be a happy, supportive girlfriend. She can't be Edward's perfect girlfriend like this! This was a lesson that she needed to ingrain very deep, deep within her mind. Don't cry for help. Don't plead for assistance. Don't beg for support. Don't seek out aid. That way she can become stronger. She has to become stronger!

She bit the bottom of her shivering lips. She'll try harder! She'll try much, much, much harder next time! She promised! She promised!

Gracia observed the silently panicking healer with baffled dismay. She could helplessly do nothing but quietly watch her muttering 'I can't do that!' or 'Please, don't tell him!' in a mad frenzy. Even her startled daughter, who leapt out of the couch, astounded by the teenage girl's objections, stared at her in confused worry. She has never seen Orihime so frail and vulnerable before. She was utterly shaken up from the very core of her being.

Nonetheless, when the brown haired woman witnessed the first stream of distressing tears running down the young girl's countenance, her motherly instinct kicked in. She recovered from her confoundment, and swiftly crossed over the small gap in the living room to her. She knelt by the sofa, and tenderly gathered the sobbing girl in her arms, pulling her into a comforting embrace. She didn't know what she said, but she must have inadvertently triggered something traumatic in the girl.

The healer, in response, stiffened before relaxing, slightly in her hug. Her arms felt like lead, or was she merely too unresponsive to move? She opted to lean her hand against the woman's shoulder. Ms. Gracia's warmth reminded her of her brother, Sora. It was as if she was a little girl again, settling into the person's soothing and protective presence whenever she had a terrifying nightmare or an emotionally distressing experience. It was...nice.

But...it hurts. It hurts so much.

Gracia's heart ached for the young girl. She could hear how ragged and shallow her breathing was. Was she having a panic attack? Oh, no! She was practically panting!

"Orihime! Orihime!" she whispered, loudly, sincerely hoping the girl could hear her through her harrowing anxiety. She rubbed her back, soothingly. "It's okay, Orihime. Calm down. Just listen to my voice."

The brunette woman felt the collar of her dress become wet with each teardrop. The young girl was in so much pain, and wasn't quite sure what to do, except to hold her, tenderly like this. Elicia seemed to have followed her lead by hugging the girl's leg close to her. What can she do for a wounded heart? She was not a mental and emotional health counselor. All she could do was be here for the poor girl, and offer her warmth and comfort until she felt better.

As a tiny, insignificant human, that's all she could do.

(A/N: This is the end of chapter fifty one! Finally! After around six months of working on this chapter, it's finally finished!

I really want to apologize to my readers, who have waited months for a new chapter of...anything to be posted. Yeah, my laptop broke. I should say more specifically that my keyboard is busted. Some of the buttons don't work. I had to type this whole chapter up on my phone. *sarcasm mode* Yeah, how great was that? *back to normal voice* But in all seriousness...I'm still waiting to save up money to buy a new laptop. I still use the laptop, mind you. I just don't use it to type in Word Docs anymore. I mostly just use it to watch anime on Netflix.. So...until then...until I get a new laptop...hopefully, sometime next year...all chapters would be typed up from my phone, so updates will be very slow like this one. But I am glad to have this chapter up and finished before the new Pokémon games come out. That would be another reason chapter's won't be posted for a while. For the next two weeks or so, I'll be too busy playing Pokémon Brilliant Diamond. No, wait! Scratch that! For the next few months, I'll be too busy playing Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Pokémon Legends Arceus!

Now… Let's discuss the chapter. As you can see, Orihime is having a relapse in her PTSD. I wanted to simply show that PTSD isn't something someone gets over with overnight. I don't know if I said this before, but serious trauma should take weeks, months, or years of therapy and rehabilitation to recover from it. I never liked how shonen anime deals with it. With Bleach, it's 'you're suffering from a terrible experience, and having an emotional breakdown? Just fight and become stronger'. Or with Naruto, it's Talk no Jutsu with a young kid who isn't qualified to be a licensed therapist, acting as if one little speech would get rid of years of trauma just like that. Ridiculous! As I said before, fighting is not a cure for mental and/or emotional distress. It is a good stress relief, but that's all it is. It's not something to be used as a long term cure to an equally lifelong and/or very serious trauma. If it was, then therapists and medications wouldn't exist.

I always wanted to have Orihime visit Gracia, especially since she wasn't there to pay her respects to the poor woman after the whole 'Hughes's ghost' incident. And this part of the chapter took a lot longer than I thought and planned because...the more I wrote it, the more I realized that Orihime never had a mother like figure before in her life. Plus, I have never seen any other fanfic authors for that matter give her motherly parental substitute. At least, as far as I know. She had an older sister figure in Tatsuki, but not much else. I'm not sure if I'll be able to, but I'm hoping to be able to write more mother/daughter-esque interactions with Gracia and Orihime. Besides, because it was long, I had to cut it in half because there are more Orihime and interactions I want to write, but I'm saving them for the next chapter.

Hmm… Well, I think that's it. Please leave any comments, suggestions, or questions in a review, and thanks for reading!