WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

by Desktop Dragon

Ana Grey was always sure of who she was and where she came from, until a surprise email is sent to her informing her that she may be the long lost sibling of someone seeking answers. In New York Eva Cross is that person seeking answers as she has just had everything she took as fact turned upside down and she no longer knows who she is. I DO NOT OWN FSOG OR THE CROSSFIRE STORIES.

131. Chapter 131

CHAPTER 131

(JARED)

I glance at the small clock at the side of the bed and sigh, 3.30am. I resume staring up at the ceiling once more, trying to make sense of not only tonight but the past month. Everything has changed, absolutely everything. Mom and dad dying was what started everything off and that was huge, I mean losing your mom and dad is big for anyone but dying the way they did made it worse in some ways because there we were walking through the streets of Chicago looking forward to lunch with Uncle Phil and Aunty Bev and bam, gone just like that. Now it seems the guy who I saw regularly at Uncle Phil's house was also there at the time they were shot and he was the guy who has just gunned down Uncle Pete and Aunty Suzy. I scrunch my eyes shut as the events of tonight circle around my head again and I wonder if Uncle Phil did have something to do with all this. My breathing starts to increase as I think about my uncle and I sit up and remember the exercises Caroline gave me to do when I started getting an anxiety attack.

I take a deep breath, in and out and focus on it. I think of my happy place and focus on that, it works and I feel the attack passing. Ok, that's good… stop it Jared… just stop and think. I realise that I was there at both those events and the security guys are working to try and find out stuff and I could hold the key. Anything which could be useful, anything which could make sense of all this. I take another deep breath, I owe it to my mom and dad and to Uncle Pete and Aunty Suzy to remember anything which could explain why they died. I rub my chest as the ache there increases as I think about them. I start replaying the events of the day mom and dad died and I swallow hard, as soon as they heard that first gunshot their first thought was to protect me. I loved my mom and dad, they were my mom and dad even though I always knew I was adopted. My dad had this mantra 'honesty and openness'. Right from when I was a little kid as long as I can remember, he said I will always be honest with you Jared and I expect the same in return. I will not sugar coat the truth, and I will always expect you to do the same. No matter what you do, right or wrong – although I hope that wrong doesn't happen very often, I expect you to be honest with me as that way whatever happens we will be able to trust each other to do the right thing. There is no shame in making mistakes, as long as you realise you have done so and you own up to them. Always tell me and I will always do my best to help rectify whatever has gone wrong but above all be honest. That is how I grew up. So, it was a huge culture shock when I moved in with Uncle Phil as it became apparent very quickly that he wouldn't know the truth if it smacked him in the mouth. That makes me wonder again if he had something to do with all this as he wasn't a good person considering how he treated me when nobody else was around. He always made a big deal about the fact I wasn't a real Martin, because I had been adopted. But when my dad was around he was a model uncle, so it's not beyond the realms of possibility that he was involved somehow, but being behind the deaths of two of his brothers? Could he really stoop that low? I never told dad the stuff Uncle Phil said to me over the years, I figured it wasn't lying if I just said nothing. That's why I didn't want to live with him when mom and dad died. Uncle Pete was like dad though, and funnily enough Gideon reminds me of my dad… lots. He was completely honest with me right from the start, and I appreciated that. I let out a small snort, my birth mom on the other hand… from what I've heard about her she was someone else who was more than economical with the truth. I realise I am in an odd situation, I'm an orphan as my parents have died… but then again both my parents are still alive, Gideon has stepped up straight away and wants to be there for me and to be fair, I'm happy for him to be there as the more we talk and the more we get to know each other, I feel like I know him… somewhere deep inside. I think about my birth mom, do I want to meet her? From what I've heard about her from Uncle Pete and Aunty Suzy who were around when mom and dad adopted me, it seems Corrine didn't really give a damn and the fact she never actually told Gideon about me is a massive black mark against her name.

I roll over on to my side, they are gone and this is my life now. My dad was wealthy; he was successful and we lived very comfortably in a nice part of Chicago but all this is on another level. I realise with a jolt that Gideon is even richer than Christian so… hmmm. The world of security and private jets it's a lot to take in, but I meant it when I asked Gideon if I could go and live with him. I think about my other uncle. Uncle Patrick lives in California… at least that's where he was last time anyone heard from him. Dad said he left home just leaving a note saying he was going travelling and never returned. He showed up from time to time, and mom said he only ever showed up when he had run out of money. I realise that I don't think he even knows his two elder brothers are dead, I think about that and I wonder idly if Gideon's security would be able to track him down and find out where he is just to let him know? I dismiss that thought, as they have enough going on trying to find out about why and how my dad and uncle died without tracking down other members of my family. I think about my mom's sister, and quickly dismiss her as I can't even remember her name, I was about five or six the last time I saw her, that is when it hits me the only family I have… is Gideon. I take a deep breath in at that thought and blink away a few unwelcome tears. I think about Gideon, I really like him; he reminds me of my dad in so many ways. I like Eva as well and I smile as I remember hearing her yelling at Uncle Phil that day at the Finding Family offices. He deserved it, he was an asshole. I think about how my mom and dad pulled me up on bad language and how Uncle Pete and Aunty Suzy also got uptight about curse words. My mind goes to Gideon and his muffled curse when he dropped his phone when he was on his plane and I smile, I guess he isn't so puritan about a few curse words.

I roll over on to my other side and sigh again, at this rate it will be morning and I won't have gotten any sleep at all. I think about Christian and Ana, and a cold shiver runs down my spine. If only I'd called him a few moments earlier, then perhaps the security guys would've got here before that man shot Uncle Pete and Aunty Suzy. Gideon had made me promise to call Christian if anything happened, I hesitated because nothing had actually happened but when I saw that guy sitting outside the house, after seeing him everywhere I went today I knew it wasn't a coincidence and it made me scared. I had this funny feeling in my gut that something bad was going to happen… and boy did it! I did wonder if Christian would do anything, or if I was just wasting his time if I called him but as soon as I spoke to him and told him I just knew from his reaction that he would pull out all the stops and he did. He was the first member of Gideon's family who I spoke to that day in Chicago. He was honest with me as well… I think about Gideon's family, Christian is Gideon's brother-in-law because his wife is Eva's sister… so I guess because I'm Gideon's son that makes Christian Grey my uncle… well shit! I roll on to my back as I consider that, I'd take Christian Grey over uncle Phil any day of the week. Then there was that other guy… who came to help us when we first arrived in Seattle, I got a bit confused as to who he was, Christian said he was his brother but he didn't look anything like Christian then I remembered that Christian was adopted – like me and…

I open my eyes, and realise that I did eventually fall asleep. I glance at the clock and am shocked to see it is nearly 9.15am. I fling back the bedclothes and walk towards the bathroom and start the shower. When I eventually leave the bedroom I make my way downstairs, and pause… where the hell is everyone? As I think this a woman appears and smiles kindly at me.

"Hello Jared, are you looking for everyone? They are all in the kitchen, if you want to come with me" she says.

"Erm… thanks" I reply and I follow her. I look at her, "Sorry if this sounds rude but who are you?" I ask warily.

She smiles again, "I do apologise Jared, let me introduce myself I'm Gail, Gail Taylor – you know Jason who came to fetch you with Mr Grey yesterday?" she pauses and I nod.

"He is Christian's bodyguard for want of a better word, and I'm his wife. I am the house keeper here" she explains.

"Oh, ok" I reply.

I follow her through a door and find myself in an enormous kitchen and gathered around the table are everyone. They all look towards me as I walk in and everyone smiles and says good morning to me and Gideon immediately drops a piece of toast on his plate and stands up.

"Jared, I didn't expect you to be up yet" he says as he walks towards me, "How are you?" he asks carefully when he reaches me.

I shrug, "I'm not entirely sure" I say honestly.

Gideon nods, "Come and sit down and have some breakfast" he says.

I sit down beside Gideon and glance around.

"I…" I begin and then stop.

"Would you like some tea?" Ana asks me gently.

"Or we have some orange juice if you prefer" Christian puts in.

"Erm… Orange juice please" I say and almost immediately a large glass of orange juice appears in front of me.

I look up to see Gail smiling at me, "Thank you" I say.

"What would you like to eat Jared?" Gail asks me.

"Erm…" I glance around and see Ana has a bowl of granola, Christian has what looks like an omelette and Gideon and Eva both have a plate of toast. "Erm… toast would be nice, please" I say.

Gail looks at me carefully, "Ok, I could make you some pancakes if you prefer?" she offers.

I shake my head, "No, toast is fine, thank you" I say.

I look up at Gideon, "Erm… Gideon" I begin and immediately he gives me his full and complete attention.

"What happens now?" I ask.

Gideon puts his toast down once more and sighs. "Well, right now we are going to have breakfast that is the immediate plan. Then… then we need to talk about what you want to do. I need to establish how we are going to do this. You said yesterday that you wanted to come and live with me… is that still the case or have you had second thoughts about that?" he asks.

"I still want to live with you… if you'll have me?" I say carefully.

Gideon smiles, "You are my son" he says simply and pops a piece of toast into his mouth.

"Ok, well I was actually thinking about this last night" I say, "Uncle Patrick is somewhere… the last we heard he was in California but I've not seen him for years. My mom's sister… well I can't even remember her name as it's so long since I last saw her, so I guess the only family I have is you".

"No you don't, you also have us" Christian states emphatically.

I smile at him, "Yeah, that was something else that also kind of occurred to me as well last night… that Gideon's wife Eva and your wife Ana are sisters… so that makes you Gideon's brother in law so that makes you… my uncle".

Christian beams at me, "Indeed it does, and by default that means you get the entire Grey family as well" he says.

I nod as I remember Elliot Grey, "Oh yeah, erm… Elliot? Is that right?" I ask.

Christian nods, "That is correct, there is also my sister Mia and Elliot's wife Megumi".

My eyes widen at that, and Ana puts her hand on Christian's arm, "Don't overwhelm him" she says.

I hear movement and look around to see Jason Taylor appearing.

"Excuse me Sir, Miss Grey is here" he says.

Christian's eyes widen at that, "Mia?" he asks and Jason nods.

"Show her in" Christian says.

A moment later a young woman appears and stops dead and stares around the table.

"Oh, I didn't expect anyone to be here" she says.

"Why are you here, Mia?" Christian asks.

"Durr… The party" she says sarcastically and I smile, "I was just here to do the measuring up for the decorations" she adds waving a tape measure at Christian.

Ana's mouth drops open and she looks at Christian who then looks at Gideon.

"I'd forgotten all about that" Christian says, "I think we should postpone under the circumstances" he says as he glances at me.

I look around, "What's going on… were you planning something? I don't want to get in the way of your plans" I ask as I realise that I am the reason for the proposed postponement.

Gideon touches my arm, "It's ok Jared, It's Ana's birthday… tomorrow actually, and on the 19th it's Elliot's birthday and mine is at the end of the month and we were planning a joint party around the time of Elliot's birthday to celebrate all three, but I think under the circumstances Christian is right, we should postpone".

I shake my head, "No, you shouldn't. Not on my behalf, I don't want to come into your life and mess it up" I say.

Gideon wraps his arm around me, "We are not suggesting that, we just think under the circumstances it might be a bit overwhelming for you" he says.

I think about that, "Why? Will there be lots of people?" I ask as I get what he is saying, Then I realise of course there will be lots of people these two men are two of the richest businessmen in the country, so of course its going to be massive.

He nods, "Just family but there are a lot of them. Christian, Ana, Myself and Eva. Then there will be Elliot and Megumi and Elliot's daughter Ava, Mia" he says waving his hand towards Mia "My siblings Christopher and Ireland, Grace and Carrick – that's Christian's adopted parents, Victor who is Eva's dad and Ray, Ana's father".

"Lucy and Sadie" Ana says, "That's Elliot's birth mom and sister" she adds.

"All my birth family from Ohio" Christian puts in, "Alex, Edwin, Arnie, Brad and his wife and three girls, and Hal and Derek" he says.

I swallow hard that is a lot of people, but not on the scale I was imagining. Then something hits me and I look at Gideon, "But I'm your family too now… right? I'm your son" I say simply. I hear a small gasp come from Mia and I realise this is news to her but I keep my attention fixed on Gideon.

Gideon's face breaks into a massive smile, "You are, but you are also grieving the loss of your parents, your aunt and uncle and dealing with a series of very traumatic events. I don't want you overwhelmed by having to deal with meeting so many new people all in one go" he says.

I get what he is saying, but I don't want to be responsible for a party which I assume all these people being aware of being cancelled on my account.

"Yeah, but I will have to meet them all at some point if I am now a member of this family so a party would be the perfect opportunity. Meet everyone all in one go and get it over with. I get what you are saying and thank you for considering that, but I will feel far worse if I know that you've cancelled plans on my account" I argue.

Gideon looks at Eva, "What are your thoughts, Angel?" he asks.

Eva looks at me and grins, and then she shrugs, "I think we should credit Jared with knowing how he feels, not how we think he feels". She pauses and looks at me, "This is a steep learning curve for all of us, so you need to cut us some slack if we look like we are making decisions on your behalf, we all only want what is best but we are all complete novices at this, if you think you can deal with meeting the entire clan then I say we do it". She looks at Christian, who looks sceptical. "Look at it like this Christian, look who he will have around him, he will have us. But he will also have El who was adopted, Meg who will have more than a bit of empathy with his situation with her past. Grace and Carrick and Sadie who will more than empathise and as for my dad and Ray… well they are two of the best dads in the world and very wise men".

Christian thinks about that and nods, "I guess so, I hadn't thought about it that way, then there is my birth family, they are all good people" he says. He pauses and thinks, "Alright, we go ahead as planned, but you must be honest with us Jared, if at any point you feel you can't deal with anything you tell us".

I smile at him, "You sound like my dad… he always said just be honest. I promise I will, but if the party is here, then… well if I feel a bit overwhelmed or something there is plenty of space to get away" I say as I look around.

Christian tips his head to one side as he acknowledges that, "Good point" he says, "Plus, if at any point you do feel overwhelmed by it all you will also be secure in the knowledge that you have the support of not only Gideon and Eva but everyone else, because I assure you and one hundred per cent guarantee you that nobody who enters this house will ever hurt you".

"So, what exactly has been happening… and since when have you had a son Gideon?" Mia asks as she sits down and looks around.

I smile at her and I immediately warm to her as she reminds me a bit of Aunty Suzy.

Before Gideon can say anything I jump in with an explanation, "I was adopted from birth, my mom and dad… my adopted mom and dad were killed in a shooting in Chicago, where we lived. I was sent to live with my uncle Phil and with everything that happened it made me wonder where I originally came from. Uncle Phil contacted Finding Family and I gave them all the information I had which was my birth mom's name and where I was born. They got in touch with Gideon, because he knew my birth mom and was seeing her for a while back then and so he did a DNA test and it turned out that he's my biological dad. He had no idea about me, so we are all sort of finding our way at the moment. Uncle Phil who I was living with wasn't a good man and so when I met Gideon, he arranged for me to come and live with my Uncle Pete and his wife here in Seattle. Christian helped with that too, but… but… yesterday…" I stop as I can't get the words out.

I shake my head and blink rapidly as Gideon immediately wraps his arm tightly around me, "And this is why I think the party is a bad idea, people will innocently ask questions and things like this will happen, Jared is very vulnerable at the moment and I as his father have to have his best interests at heart" he says firmly.

"Oh god, I'm sorry" Mia says immediately.

I look up, "No, don't apologise" I say, I take a deep breath, "A man came into our home last night and killed my aunt and uncle, but I called Christian and he came to help me. He and his security team came and got me away. Then Gideon and Eva came as well from New York, and now I… well, I think I'm going to be living with Gideon".

Mia looks at me with total compassion, "Well, that is completely unbelievable and I am astounded at how composed and together you are right now considering what you have been through".

I look up at Gideon, "Please, please don't cancel your party" I say, "I think it will be better that way, as I only need to tell the story once when people ask whereas if I meet everyone separately at different times I'll have to keep retelling and that will be far worse".

Gideon sighs, and acknowledges that with a tip of his head, "I just don't feel right about any of this" he says.

As I look at him, I realise that something more is going on here. I think of my dad's mantra 'honesty and openness' and I look at him.

"Gideon" I say, and he looks at me, I bite my lip as I think about this as I know that he told me some pretty heavy duty stuff previously, and my guess is the way he is behaving might have something to do with his own past. "My dad had this mantra – honesty and openness, he always said to me to be totally open and honest with him and he would be the same with me… well, I guess that… you are my dad now so I'm being totally open and honest with you and I say don't cancel your party on my account, because it's not fair on you, Ana or erm… Elliot?" I pause and glance at Eva questioningly who nods, "… I was brought up that birthdays are special and something to be celebrated so I wouldn't feel right about being the reason you guys don't celebrate yours… and I ask you, why don't you feel right about it?" I say.

Gideon's gaze softens and as he looks at me he smiles "I'm just trying to protect you" he says simply.

I nod accepting that but I'm still thinking that there is definitely more going on there.

As we finish breakfast I automatically stand up and help clear away the plates. Gail appears and takes them from me. "Thank you, Jared," she says.

"Can I help?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"No, that's fine" she says as she disappears.

I look outside, it is overcast and a bit gloomy but not raining… yet.

Christian appears beside me, "Go and take a look around outside if you want to" he says.

I look up at him, "Did you call my school?" I ask and he nods.

"I did, I explained the situation and they were totally understanding and said for you to take as much time as you need" he says.

I nod, "I might go and have a look around" I say as I point outside.

oooOOOooo

After taking a long walk around this amazingly breath-taking garden, although garden is a massive understatement – country park is more accurate a description, I find myself down on a beach and as I'm standing gazing out over the water admiring the view when I hear someone behind me, I turn to see Gideon walking towards me across the sand.

"Here you are" he says as he reaches me.

I point, "Just admiring the view" I say and he smiles and nods.

"It is quite something isn't it?" he says.

"It's stunning" I reply.

Gideon snorts, "It is, and nothing like New York" he says.

I grin at that, "What's your house like in New York?" I ask.

Gideon sighs, "I don't have one, not a house. We live in a Penthouse apartment on Fifth Avenue. We have a beach house on the Outer Banks but not a house in New York".

"Oh" I say, unsure of what to say to that. I always knew that Gideon would probably have more than one home but for him to live on Fifth Avenue! Gideon looks at me closely.

"I've been talking to Arash – he is my attorney and he is responsible for making all the legal arrangements for me to become your legal guardian. I need to know if this is what you really want?" he pauses and looks at me.

I take a deep breath, and nod, "Yeah, like I said at breakfast, I don't have anything to do with Uncle Patrick or my mom's sister. I don't even know if Uncle Patrick is aware that two of his brothers have died".

"Do you want me to ask Angus to try and track him down?" Gideon asks immediately.

"I do but… hasn't he got enough on his plate at the moment dealing with all this other stuff?" I ask.

Gideon smiles at me, "Jared, that is his job and it is one he doesn't do alone so if you want us to try and find your uncle then just say the word".

I nod, "Ok, but I don't want to live with him" I say.

"That's fair enough, you should also know that Welch is coming over as he has some information he wants to share. Do you want to be there when he shares it?"

I think about that, do I? Part of me wants to say yes absolutely, but another part wonders what if Uncle Phil is more involved in all this than we thought? How will I handle that? I think about it and come to a decision, "Can you find out for me and then you tell me… perhaps with Caroline there, just in case. I'm not sure how I will feel if I find out something really bad".

Gideon wraps his arm around me and pulls me close, "We can do that" he says simply.

I decide to voice my other main concern, "Gideon, what about Uncle Phil?" I ask.

"What about him?" he replies and I feel him stiffen considerably at the mention of his name.

"I don't want to end up back with him. Also, if this guy who shot Uncle Pete and Aunty Suzy also shot mom and dad… well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that he was always at Uncle Phil's house so there is a chance Uncle Phil might know more than he is letting on… what if…?" I stop as fear streaks through me, Gideon sees it and immediately rushes to reassure me.

"Listen to me Jared, we have already made that connection and that is why my team are tirelessly trying to discover the truth. You should know the man the police are holding has pointed the finger at your uncle but at this point it would be remiss of us to take that fact without any corroborating evidence. Your uncle is currently facing child abuse charges, and while he isn't currently being held by the authorities and is on bale I have eyes on him in Chicago and if he attempts to leave the city I will know about it, but I assure you I will never allow your uncle to hurt you again".

I look up at him and smile, he has reassured me and with those few words I feel as secure and safe now as I did with my mom and dad. "Just one thing Gideon" I say and he looks down at me questioningly. "You know how Eva said this was a steep learning curve and you were a novice at this and I should cut you some slack?" I say and Gideon nods.

"I think you are doing a brilliant job so far" I say. I see Gideon take a deep breath in and swallows hard at that and then shaking his head, he just silently pulls me close once more.

I don't know how long we stand there, but suddenly Gideon speaks, "Also at breakfast your remark about openness and honesty… It is true I want to protect you, but I don't want you to feel how I felt when I was a boy" he says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

Gideon looks at me carefully, "My father died when I was a young child, I was much younger than you and he died in far different circumstances but my mother moved on very quickly and I was transplanted into a new family. I had everything familiar ripped away from me, nobody explained anything to me and I was suddenly living somewhere else and I felt out of control and very, very vulnerable. I don't want you to feel like that. I don't want to push you into a situation where you feel you can't cope… that's why I have reservations about the party" he says. I go to speak but Gideon holds up his hand and so I stop and wait for him to continue.

"Wait, full disclosure… I am way out of my depth at this moment, I lost my father when I was five years old. My step father didn't want me, the only father figure I have ever had is Angus… so I assure you that I am going to screw up and I am going to get things wrong. I am going to say things which probably aren't appropriate for a thirteen-year-old boy to hear but I promise you I will try and do my best for you".

In that moment I realise just how huge this whole thing is, not only for me, but also for Gideon. A couple of weeks or so ago he didn't even know he was a dad, and now he is faced with taking care of me and he has stepped up without complaint or reservation and done so. I think of Christian how he did exactly what Gideon said he would do and he came to help me when I called him, I realise that I am now part of a very close and very protective family. I think about his comment about Angus and I smile.

"So… Angus is like my grandad?" I say and this makes a huge grin spread across Gideon's face.

"You could do far worse" he says with a shrug.