Tony

Tony watches as Steve/the Asset vomits onto the asphalt, and he stands there a bit frozen. Barnes tries to help Steve but the man shoves his hands away and vomits again.

Then he sinks back, laying down on the asphalt, covered in blood and brains and just breathing. Both he and Barnes stand there, staring as he just lies there.

Then he's crying, tear tracks tracing down the sides of his face and slipping into his hair.

Barnes looks ready to haul him up, but he stays still, letting Steve process.

"She's really dead?" He asks, voice rasping.

Tony looks at the woman whose head is now half gone. He looks at Barnes, knowing the placement on the shot, directly into her mouth, was very purposeful.

"Yeah," Tony says with a huff, "she's dead alright."

He's not sure what he expects but the deep relieved sobs of laughter aren't it.

Steve lays there, laughing and sobbing and clutching his arms around his chest. "Am I safe now?" He asks, almost in a joking tone.

And that's what does it. Barnes kneels down, laughing in his own cracked and brittle way and clutching at his hair.

Tony watches the two men who have been and lived through more than anyone else will ever understand, break down and process it together. Natasha and Clint show up a few minutes later and look on in shock as both of them men have gone quiet and are just sitting there.

"Should we call the police?" Clint asks, looking at the dead body.

"Already done." Tony says quietly.

"James," Natasha says softly, "let's go get you guys cleaned up."

Barnes nods and slowly helps pull Steve up, getting him standing.

They walk slowly to the car Tony had summoned and Steve stops outside the door, "I can't get in."

"Why not?" Bucky asks.

"I'm—" he looks down at himself, "I'm a mess."

And it's so comical that that's what he's worried about that Tony laughs.

"It's okay, Steve. Don't worry about it."

They keep the windows open though, the smell of blood and brains filtering through the car.

"I'm gunna—" Steve starts, looking guilty, "I'm going to hand off the controls for a moment." He closes his eyes and they all glance at each other, unsure what to expect.

But his eyes don't reopen and soon they reach their destination. Barnes taps his shoulders and when he opens his eyes he looks around at them, his eyes landing on Natasha, "Steve ensured that our spider was safe, but can she be checked on?"

Natasha's nodding and pulling out her phone as they get out of the car. They lead the Asset towards the back doors and take the service elevator up, not wanting to draw attention.

He's led to his room and pointed to the shower. He nods and grabs fresh clothes before stopping before them. "We will need assistance removing the bullets."

Barnes balks, "oh geez—" he reaches towards the Asset, "I completely forgot!" He slams his forehead with his palm, "we'll get the two after you've showered so the wounds are clean."

"Three."

Barnes pauses, "huh?"

"Three bullets." The asset corrects calmly. He points to his chest, torso and then reaches and points behind his shoulder, "three."

"She shot you again?" Clint asks, voice tense.

"No. Her security guard."

Barnes just sighs and looks at the Asset, "are any of them dangerous? Should we take you to the hospital?"

The Asset steps back, "no. No hospitals. No surgery."

Tony remembers his aversion to surgeries all that time ago.

"Okay." Barnes says, "we will take care of it when you're clean, okay?"

The Asset nods and disappears, they hear the shower turn on.

"Um." Tony starts, "should we get like a medical professional up here?"

Barnes rounds on him, an amused eye roll, "you know how many bullets I've pulled out of that man? Dozens. If it was bad, you'd be able to tell. I can handle three."

"You're—" Clint says, "you seem eerily calm after everything that just happened."

Barnes laughs, "I am. She's dead. That bitch is dead and I killed her. And I'm glad. I did it for him." He points at the bathroom door. "I couldn't save him 70 years ago. But I got to save him tonight, and the relief I feel is—" his voice cuts off and he clears his throat, "let's just say, three bullets might as well be as annoying as flies. He's here, he's safe, and he's… almost Steve."

No one quite has a response for that. So no does. Just listens as the shower runs.

—-

Clint

Steve is back when he exits the bathroom. And he exits without a shirt. Clint wants to laugh as the man blushes when he and Natasha jokingly whistle appreciatively but sits dutifully in a chair as Barnes practically clucks like a mother hen around him, using tweezers in their med kit and patches of gauze. Steve winces a few times but stays mostly quiet until the last bullet is removed and bandaged.

"Thanks, Buck." The man says with an easy smile, "just like old times."

The wry smile Barnes throws at him is half annoyed and half relieved, "don't remind me."

"So." Tony says, "what's the plan now?"

They all look at Steve who, for the first time ever that Clint has seen, seems fully relaxed, "I don't know about you guys but, I'm hungry."

"Pizza it is." Tony says, already tapping on his phone.

—-

Bucky

Steve's in the middle of talking, something he remembers from their childhood when he cuts off mid-sentence, "oh—" he says out loud, "hold on." They stare at him and then he blinks, "we have a request." They stare at him and wait. "The headmistress referred to us as the Asset. We no longer want to be referred to by that name."

Natasha is the quickest to understand, "okay, what would you like to be called?"

The Asset blinks and then looks around at each of them, "we do not mind the name Steve."

The relief and joy Bucky feels at that is palpable. "Steve." He says with a smile.

"We'd be happy to refer to you both as Steve." Natasha adds, "thank you for telling us what you prefer."

He nods, seeming pleased with that response and suddenly Steve is back. And he's smiling bigger than they've seen so far.

—

He and Steve eat their weight in pizza, and they laugh and talk and ignore the gaps in Steve's memory that happen every once in a while.

They do not, however, ignore the 'other Steve'. Bucky easily finds the balance in code-switching when he appears at random.

The shift in tone is clear and the rest of the group picks up on it relatively easily, making sure both of them are talked to and addressed as they appear.

The others watch in awe as they eat even more pizza and the amount of coke they drink through is disgusting. But Bucky hasn't felt this happy and at peace in a long time. And he can tell Steve feels the same.

—

They head back to the tower before the next day is finished and they settle in, showing Steve his own room and personal area.

"Are you sure?" He asks, seeming unsure, "I can find a plac—"

"Steve." Tony says in annoyance, "please stay here. Convince Barnes that staying near the Avengers is the best thing for everyone. Also, Shields a bit at the bottom of the Potomac you know?"

"Avengers?" Steve asks with a head tilt, "what's that?"

—-

Clint

They show Steve the footage of the Chitauri invasion and a few other news clips of some of their missions. Steve watches intently and points in excitement when he sees Barnes and him standing on a rooftop, back to back, shooting their weapons.

"Buck! Look at you go!" Barnes smiles wide and claps him on the back.

"You've gotta try out the rifles in this time, crazy accurate!"

Steve nods, eyes back on the screen. Clint is getting better at noticing the switches. It's easy to tell when Steve is talking, but not as apparent when he's silent.

But Clint starts to catch the flick of his eyes, the way his shoulders shift minutely and the stiffer way the other Steve keeps his jaw.

"You're thinking of something." Clint says, breaking him out of his thoughts, "what is it?"

They've noticed that Steve refers to himself in singular, but the other Steve refers to them in third. They're not sure exactly why yet.

"Nothing." He responds easily, "it's nothing."

"Nah, come on, tell us." Clint urges, "we want to hear."

Steve shifts and points at the TV. "You're missing something." He says firmly, "you've got no centralized command. It hurts your team to not have a point person." Steve asks for them to rewind the footage and he points out several times where it looks like they're almost standing around, waiting for someone to tell them what to do, to give them instructions.

Clint hears Bucky sigh, "yeah Steve. I remember thinking during that exact same battle what a help you would have been. I actually turned around looking for you once."

He did? Clint frowns, he didn't know that… He'd been pretty close to Barnes that whole fight. And Steve did have a point. As much of a loud mouth as Tony was, he wasn't exactly leader material.

Captain material….

"You know." Clint starts, a grin sliding onto his face, "sounds like you're saying we need a Captain."

Steve blinks and he's back, looking almost embarrassed, "no, no. I wasn't saying that. I didn't mean me—"

"Why not?" Barnes asks, leaning forward, "we let you get your feet under you, announce your return to the world and set you up as our new Captain."

Steve stands and it's one of those now rare moments where they fight for dominance again.

"We can't—"

"I shouldn't—"

"They'll know—"

"They'll hate me—"

"What we've done—"

Steve's eyes are shut and face pinched as the half aborted phrases trail off.

"Hey, Rogers." Tony says with a fondness that Clint is surprised by. "You let us handle the logistics. You just take your time. You let us know what you want, when you want it. Okay?"

—-

Natasha

It's hilarious to all of them, because the other Steve has no shame. But Steve is still relatively self-conscious and wary.

"We should put those swim trunks to good use." She offers with a sly smile in James' direction. "I want to see you both in your suits."

James rolls his eyes and Steve practically blushes. But they agree and meet at the indoor pool on the 37th level. Tony cannon balls in and pops up, grinning and floating on his back.

Clint pouts, "that's no fair." He whines, "I can't float."

They laugh as he demonstrates his inability to stay on the surface, sinking to the bottom like a rock.

Steve and James enter, both wearing swim trunks and Steve still with a t-shirt on.

"Come on, grandpas." Tony teases, "let's goooo."

James flips him off while he sets his stuff down, sitting next to Natasha and slipping his feet into the water as they are perched on the concrete edge.

Steve slowly slips his shirt off. The bullet wounds now healed and gone. He walks cautiously to the edge and stands there looking conflicted.

"Steve?" James asks, "everything alright?"

He laughs a bit weakly, looking a bit pale, "we've never been allowed to have fun together." He winces at his own words, "we're not sure how to."

And this time it is Steve referring to both of them in third person. And it hurts like hell.

"Just dive right in." Tony says lightly, trying to keep the mood light, "the water's fine."

"Right." Steve answers in a brittle tone, "just dive right in." He walks to the diving board and looks at James, "he knows how to swim. I know how to swim, right?" James nods mutely and Steve nods back, "okay, yeah, I thought so. When we get tense I start to get unsure."

"You're a great swimmer, Steve." James adds, "even before the serum."

Steve's head pops back up from where it was staring at the water, "really?" James nods. "Oh. Okay, alright." He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and Natasha notices that it seems more like muscle memory than actual purposeful movement as he jumps and completes a graceful dive, slicing through the water.

He pops back up through the water with a smile on his face that Natasha notices that James mirrors. The whole group watches enraptured as Steve swims back and forth and dives and just generally plays around like a duck on water. Graceful and smooth and enjoying every minute.

When he lays on the surface, (floating, much to Clint's dismay) he closes his eyes and just lays there, perfectly relaxed. She does not miss the soft way everyone looks at the man. Including herself.

"He's so—" she starts, whispering as Tony is making enough noise to cover her words, "nice, and—" she looks at James, "— sweet." They look at Steve who is now looking dubiously at the lights that are making the pool change colors.

"He's always been the—" the conflicted look James gives Steve makes her pause, "he was always the light, you know? The compass." He sighs, "when the war was on and things would get dirty. Not everything that was done was what the government would describe as above board and sometimes they'd order us to do something he—" he juts his chin toward Steve, "— didn't think was right. They'd order him too and he just wouldn't. He'd stare them down, all righteous anger and stubborn beliefs until they'd change their mind. And as soon as they would back down he would smile and soften right back into that—" he laughs softly, "the guy who would blush anytime Peggy walked by, or play tag with the kids in any village we marched through." James slips into the pool, turning to face her and leaning his chin against her legs, "which is why I'm not surprised that he lasted against them for 30+ years." He kisses her leg softly, trailing his fingers against the water droplets on her skin, "and I should be surprised he still has this soft side after everything they've done to him, but I'm not."

"We're going to take care of him." She responds, brushing the tip of his nose with her index finger. "All of us." He closes his eyes and she feels his throat make a humm of contentment.

—

Bucky

Steve gets out eventually and lays on the side, hand trailing on the water. "Bucky?"

"Yeah, Steve?"

"You know that one time you found me in the river and you asked me what was wrong?"

He thinks back, remembering a time when he'd walked to the river to find Steve and had felt like something was off, but Steve had insisted that he was fine.

"Uh… yeah. I do."

Steve looks up at him and then a wicked grin appears on his face, "you never figured out why?"

He looks at Steve, "so there was a reason?"

Steve nods, "yeah, you promise you never knew why?"

He thinks back, trying to see if any memory gets jogged, but nothing. "No, Steve. I don't know."

"Peggy was there."

Bucky feels his jaw drop, "wh-WHAT!"

Steve blushes now, but he's still smiling. "I'd gone down to get cleaned up, Dugan had just taken watch and I was naked in that river when she appeared on the shore." No one speaks, listening as Steve recalls the memory that's making him smile, "she must have known or been told I was there because she showed up with a smile and her classic raised eyebrow." His color gets redder, "she joined me in the river."

Bucky chokes, "she undressed in front of you!?"

Steve laughs, "she started too, I turned around." Tony snorts and Steve blushes deeper, "she joined me in the river and we were just talking for the longest time. When you came looking she actually ducked under the water and drifted down a ways before coming up for air."

"A moonlight trist in the river between my aunt Peggy and Captain America." Tony groans.

Steve turns to him, "your what!?"

Tony tilts his head, "yeah, she is my godaunt— my dad and her were friends till the day he died."

Steve sits up, "Tony—"

"It's Anthony actually." He says in a voice Bucky can't describe, "Anthony Edward Stark. Real smart name don't you think?" Everyone freezes, realizes what he's getting at. Steve looks at him, confusion on his face. But since no one speaks Steve blinks, "you remember advising my dad on smart names, don't you?"

Steve's eyes glaze over and they watch his throat bob up and down in thought.

Then it hits him. "No—" his throat chokes off and he's shoving his head in his hands, shoulders shaking. Bucky is surprised by Tony who walks over, still in the pool, and rests a hand on Steve's shoulder. "You know.. my dad really thought the world of you. I'm proud he named me what he did. Cuz of you."

Bucky's throat gets tight at the admission he knows Tony would never have made 6 months ago. And he can tell he's not the only one. Steve's got tears leaking out between his fingers and Natasha is gripping his hand tight.

Steve looks up, eyes red, "I can't believe he—" he smiles, and looks so softly at Tony, "your dad made me who I was, his technology and my shield and everything. I owe a lot to him." He looks around and ducks his head, "seems like I'm always owing the Starks something."

Tony's face gets somber, which is a highly unusual occurrence. "Cap, you don't owe me or anyone jack shit. He didn't make you who you were. And you paid your "debt" to my dad long before you fell off that train. Truthfully, I hated you for the longest time. My dad never shut up about you. But now I can see why. I get it."

Steve looks genuinely confused, which is just like him, "what do you mean?"

Tony rolls his eyes, "it's sickening actually how humble you are."

"I'm not—"

"If you're about to utter the phrase 'I'm not humble', I will personally splash you."

Steve goes quiet, laying back and laying his arm over his eyes, "I'm nothing. Just a kid from Brooklyn."

"Well the world, and especially the people in this room, would beg to differ."

"You guys don't even know me." Steve says with a frown, "other than what I'm sure Bucky exaggerated."

Bucky's about to protest when Clint cuts in. "Trust me, Steve. After watching the videos of your capture, and a lot of Howard's old tapes we—"

Steve looks up, face going pale. "Wait, when you say on video—" he looks at all of them, "you mean—"

"Remember the headmistress talked about releasing your files?" Clint says slowly.

Steve balks, "I thought you meant written records!" He clambers up, shoulders heaving. "You're telling me there's video records of me killing people!?"

He looks ready to have a panic attack, and Bucky stands to, holding his shoulders, "Steve, calm down, take deep breaths."

"That's how you have that video of me trying to kill Howard!" Steve says frantically, his eyes lock on the ground, and Bucky can see understanding sliding into place. "What other tapes do you have? What else was recorded!?"

"Steve." Bucky starts slowly, "let's talk about this later—"

"Bucky!" Steve snaps, stepping back and out of his reach, "what all has everyone seen!"

"Remember I told you about the footage of you escaping Hydra?" Bucky says, "when we were at that base?"

Steve's eyes squish up and he shakes his head, "that's back when we were fighting, a lot of that is jumbled."

"Well, they documented everything."

Steve looks up at him. "What do you mean 'documented?'." But he asks the question like a man facing the gallows. Like he knows what's coming next.

"Steve—" Bucky says softly, "there's no need to worry, no one's going to see those tapes—"

"Tapes of WHAT!" Steve growls, "What is on them!"

"Everything." Natasha says quietly. "Everything. All your torture. All the surgeries. All of it."

Steve turns translucent and his chest is heaving, he points at Bucky, "and you watched it?"

Bucky feels himself wince, "yes—"

"You had no right!" Steve shouts, half out of panic and half seemingly in shame, "you shouldn't have watched it!"

"Steve, we had to know—"

"NO!" Steve shouts, "you didn't! I don't need anyone knowing! Much less y—" he chokes off, "we?" Steve looks around the room, taking another step back, "what do you mean we."

"We all watched them, Steve." Natasha sighs, "we've all seen it."

He looks ready to yell, or pass out or tear himself apart, he hunches his shoulders, palms pressing against his eye sockets.

"Steve, I—"

"I wanna see them."

All four of them look up at Steve in shock.

Bucky hears the word come out of his mouth, "what?"

"I want to see them."

Bucky's shaking his head. "What!? No. No way! No way in hell are you watching those!"

But Steve is straightening, shoulders stiffening, "you felt the need to watch them. I want to see."

"You lived it—" Clint says quietly. "Don't you think that's enough?"

Steve's grabbing a towel and walking out of the room, "you can't stop me."

And it's Bucky's worst fear because it's true. He's never been able to stop Steve when he gets determined about something.

—-

Clint

Ohhhh nooooooooo. Oh no. Heeeeelll nooooo. This can't be happening.

Steve had left, and of course Bucky had followed and now the rest of them were staring at each, each one a bit green.

"He's not actually going to let Steve watch those," he asks, "right?"

"I don't think he'll have much of a say." Natasha answers, "it's Steve's right to see them. Not only that. It's his life. He lived it. How can we stop him?"

Tony drags himself out of the pool and starts to dry himself off. "Should I make the popcorn?" He says it with a brittle voice. It's a joke, he's trying to not focus on the horrible task at hand.

"Tony," Natasha says with a sigh, "you don't have to watch them again."

"Are you?"

She blinks, "James won't let Steve watch it alone, and I won't let James watch it with just Steve. So yes. I will."

Tony jabs a finger at the door. "So will I. I'm not going to sit here and twiddle my thumbs."

Clint feels dread in his gut. If they're all watching it again… No one would blame him for not wanting to. He could easily skip out… No one would judge him.

No one but himself.

—

It surprises Clint how often the other Steve reappears as the footage plays. He wonders if Steve can't handle or doesn't want to watch what's happening, but he doesn't think that's it.

The other Steve doesn't have memories of this torture. Of being dragged naked on a gravel road, or starved for weeks, or left to rot on a surgeon's table.

They don't watch it all in one go like they did last time. They do it in spurts and whenever Steve says he's ready to handle another section.

Sam stops by often, talking to both Steve's and to Bucky. Clint is pleased with how well Sam handles the absurdity of the situation again and again. Tony quietly hands Sam a copy of Steve's files.

When Sam comes back, he surprises them all by heading straight to Steve and wrapping him in a hug. Steve looks surprised but returns it easily, and after that, Sam and Steve form a close bond of friendship as Steve learns to open up, talk thoroughly about what he's gone through, what the other Steve is thinking and feeling and how to process and move forward in all of it.

There's still some moments of tension or uncertainty, but Clint sees the steady change. Steve settling into his skin, memory almost all the way back. The other Steve a willing participant in all the learning and growing.

—-

Clint walks up one day to find the common room filled with the boxes from Howard's storage. "what's going on?"

"Finally got all the memorabilia stuff here to go through. Cap and Barnes are on their way up. Could be fun."

Clint nods and sits, opening a box lid and pulling out an army hat.

"No way." He looks up to see Bucky staring at the hat in his hands, "is that mine?" He walks over, plucking it out of Clint's hands and placing it on his head. He turns to Steve, "the 107th, Sergeant James Barnes, shipping out for England first thing tomorrow."

Steve laughs, and surprises everyone by kneeling down, hunching his shoulders, making himself smaller, "I should be going."

Bucky laughs, clutching at his chest and they both dissolve into a heap of laughter right there on the floor.

"Am I missing something?" Tony asks, eyeing the two very large super soldiers laugh like kids on the tower floor.

"Beats me." Clint huffs, amused at the sight.

So they start going through the boxes, and Tony explains things they don't recognize.

"This is one of my sketchbooks!" Steve crows, holding it up, "he kept theses?"

"You kiddin'?" Tony huffs, "my dad tried to keep everything out of the museums grubby little hands."

Steve's brow furrows, "museum?"

Bucky groans, "don't remind me. It's awful. Your section is way too small."

"I have a section?" Steve asks, disbelief written across his face.

"Yeah, but it's not big. Some Nazi's burnt all your records."

"Hydra." Steve says easily, looking at a leather jacket in his hands, "I remember Zola telling us that they burnt my records."

"That bastard." Bucky growls.

"No arguments from me," Steve says with a chuckle. "Hey, buck. Is this that jacket I wore on the way back from your rescue?"

Bucky looks at it, "could be."

Steve reaches his hand inside a pocket and pulls out a square chunk of metal that has a gaping bullet hole in the side.

Bukcy laughs, "still can't believe you carried that thing all the way back to camp."

Steve looks affronted, "you kiddin'? She would have had my hide if she thought I didn't call on purpose. Had to prove it."

They laugh and keep talking and Clint and Tony just watch and listen as they start reliving memories together.

—-

Lydia shows up every so often, checking on Steve— well, usually the other Steve is present when she shows up. Something about her drawing him out. And Clint knows it always makes Bucky feel on edge with how easily Lydia and other Steve are physically.

It's not anything that Clint would deem inappropriate. She just always is climbing onto his back or sparring with him or brushing his hair back. The other Steve doesn't seem to mind in the least. Letting her use his body as a jungle gym, fighting hand to hand, or even him braiding her hair like he used to when she was young.

She starts to bring other spiders. One at a time at first, but then others.

Steve greets each of them with a name, and Clint watches as each spider gets to learn the person behind the man who trained them.

One of them, Sabrina, the one who had originally called Natasha, finds her way to the tower with Lydia and stands stock still in front of Steve.

Clint waits for the other Steve to take over and say her name but when he talks, Clint can tell it's still Steve, his voice is raw.

"I'm sorry about your sister."

She blinks and her jaw is tight, "you knew we were sisters?"

He shook his head, "I think I knew back then. You looked so similar, and your heartbeats matched." She sucks in a sharp burst of air. "She knew better than to ask questions. She should have stayed quiet." Then she growls, "No, I—" she huffs, "that's not what I mean, I just mean, we were all so protective of you, but the older ones of us knew there wasn't anything we could do to stop them from whipping you that day. I wasn't close enough to stop her from speaking out."

Steve winces, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

The other Steve appears, "It is. If we'd followed instructions—"

"Steve." Bucky says sharply. "No. We've talked about this. No blame games."

The other Steve takes a deep breath and nods.

She steps forward, and studies him. "You seem different."

Clint hears Steve take over, "well, back when I knew you, I didn't have much choice over a lot of things. So, I'm glad I get to meet you now."

Sabrina looks at Lydia who briefly describes the device Tony pulled out of his brain. Sabrina looks horrified. "I mean, we knew they had control over you somehow, we just didn't know what…"

Clint, Bucky, Natasha, and Tony listen quietly as Lydia, Steve, and Sabrina discuss the horrors they went through together, while also remembering the stolen moments of Steve acting like their protector, their older brother.

Steve hugs both of the girls as they prepare to leave and when they turn to say goodbye, he calls out to them, "if you ever need me, you know where I'll be."

They smile softly at him and wave their goodbyes.

—

Steve

He finds that he feels almost completely whole. He and the Asset, now known somewhat confusingly as 'the other Steve' have worked out a pretty solid system. And he hates to admit it outloud, for fear of jinxing it, but the more they work together… the more they seem to merge.

He hasn't mentioned it to anyone, and he barely acknowledges it to himself in fear of alerting his other half and making him resist, but he thinks maybe…

Maybe…

—-

Bucky

They're sifting through more of the items and tapes of Howard's when Natasha stops, "Um—" she says, turning towards him, "this is labeled for you."

He grabs the small tape from her and looks at the side.

Barnes

He frowns and looks at Tony, "what's this?"

Tony frowns back, "you think I know? I've never even looked at 1/10th of this stuff before."

Barnes walks over and taps at the screen, "Jarvis?" He asks, slipping the tape into the slot.

"Right away, Sergeant."

It cues up and everyone files over, sitting around on the common room couches and chairs. No one ever sits on Bucky's left side. That space is permanently reserved for Steve. He gravitates to that place and Natasha sits on Bucky's right and they all settle in as the tape begins to whirl.

A downtrodden Howard Stark appears, looking tired and worn out. He has a glass of something in his hands and looks like he's been nursing it a little too much.

"This message is for Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th. Second in Command of the Howling Commandos."

There's a long weighted pause where he takes another sip.

"It's been 10 years to the day when your plane went down. We've just come back from another search expedition and again, no sign of you or the Valkyrie. It pisses me off that we found that damn cube not even a month after your disappearance, but can't find you or the plane for a decade."

He looks behind him at a map and adds a pin to it.

"I'm saving this map in case—" He stops, sighing away from the camera and blinking slowly. "I've tried explaining to people, but everyone thinks I'm crazy, and I'm tryna tell them that they're crazy, because it's possible. You know? It's possible. Nobody heard Erskine talk more than ME. Except maybe Peggy, but she won't listen to another word about you or—" he frowns and stares at the glass in his hand as if it had insulted him. "Yeah. Him too. I swear if I find out—" he huffs, cheeks reddening from the drink. "They tell me it's crazy. There's no way you can still be alive. But I know it's possible. Erskine talked about the things the serum could do. He talked and talked and talked and talked about the serum. We worked on it together. I know what I'm talking about. I ain't crazy. You'll know I'm not crazy when you watch this. Because then I'll be proven right. You could have survived." He looks down at papers. "We're not supposed to know. You know. You never said. You never told us about Zola. What he did to you. But we know. Steve knew. Even if he never said a word. He knew."

The air grows a bit tense as Steve stiffens a bit beside him. That is one topic they've only touched briefly on.

"—- you know I wish that at least one of you had made it." Howards face gets real somber. He holds up the glass to the light and swirls it, "then maybe I'd have a friend to actually talk about this stuff with. No one gets it. No one more than you two did. And now it's just me and everyone who wants to be my friend because I'm rich as hell." He takes a swig, letting out a humorless laugh, "you guys never gave a shit that I was rich. I miss that."

Howard yawns and scrubs at his mustache, making a mess of it. "I know what you're thinking. 'Howard, just talk to Peggy. She'll listen.' And damn it, Barnes, you're right. But listen here. She misses you two as much if not more than me. Can't talk to her without making her sad. I'm already sad enough. Don't want to make others the same way." He sets down his drink clumsily, the glass tipping and spilling its last few drops.

"What was I sayin'?" He blinks, staring at the wall, "oh— yeah, Barnes. Hopefully we find you soon. Wait for me, okay? I'll find ya."

The tape blinks off and the room is silent.

"That's why he never gave up the search." Bucky says softly. "Not just to find me and the plane, but because he thought I might be alive?"

Tony is still staring at the screen, a sad look on his face. He turns towards them and he sags his shoulders, "I was always so mad at him. I was always so unhappy with how obsessed he was with you—" he points to Steve, " and even you with the expeditions every year." He frowns, "I thought it was such a waste of time, but—" he furrows his brows, "I guess I never realized that he wasn't just searching for super soldiers. I thought he wanted your blood to try to remake it." He says to Bucky, "I never… I never realized it was because he was searching for his friends."

Steve rubs one of his thumbs with the other, "Howard was real kind to me. Always took care of us commandos. I'm sorry to hear he didn't do right by you."

Tony shrugs, "yeah. He wasn't the greatest dad, but… He did the best he could in the circumstances I guess."

Bucky still sitting there dumbfounded. "He was so sure I could live he made a tape for me. And he was right."

Tony chuckles wryly. "He usually was."

"Bucky." Steve says, and he can already hear the guilt creeping up in his voice, "about what Howard said, about Zola—"

"Nope." Bucky cuts him off. "I don't wanna discuss it. You knew. I knew. Hell, everyone who mattered figured out something was different. You all were just kind enough to not go blathering. But now the whole world knows. Okay? It's all good."

"I should have talked to you. I should have tried to help?"

Bucky slugs him in the shoulder, "Okay then Steve. I should have jumped off that train after you. I should have said 'screw Schmidt and tossed myself into that gorge to find your body and rescue you before the next 70 years of shit hit the fan for you."

Steve's quiet, then he whispers. "Fine."

Bucky nods firmly, "exactly. Fine."

—-

Pepper

She walks into the tower and sees Steve and Clint discussing the aerodynamics of something when they look up and notice her.

"Ms. Potts." Steve says, with a smile on his face, "I was hoping you'd drop by at some point."

She feels an involuntary smile appear on her face. "Oh, for what?"

He holds up a finger, "wait here."

There's only a few minutes between his departure and reappearance. But he's holding something in his hands. "This sketch pad is from about the time I was around your dad." He pulls out two sheets of paper. Both sketches of flowers and helmets and the edges of rifles and rocks. "I know it's not the same, but—" he looks at her unsure, "I thought maybe you'd like to complete the series." He holds them out to her, "they're part of a set and Tony tells me you're great at art collecting and I though—"

"Steve—" She cuts his ramble, her voice shaking, "this is amazing. The kindest thing you could have ever done. Thank you so much. My family is going to flip."

He scrubs at the back of his neck and she pulls him into a hug that he willing reciprocates.

"You wanna tell me about him?" Steve asks softly, "you're dad?"

Pepper beams, "Oh, I absolutely do!"

—

Steve

He sits at the table, his whole life displayed before him on tablets and videos and tangible photographs and boxes with folders.

The portion from Hydra is set out at the moment and he keeps his eyes away from the photo of his body on the grate. They remember that grate. The other Steve and he are practically one now. Only every once and a while, usually under periods of stress, does one feel the need to take charge or let go of the reins.

"I think it's necessary to paint the whole picture," aColonel James Rhodes that Steve and Bucky both like even if they don't always agree with his opinion, says calmly.

"But once we release these—" Clint says, "no one's ever going to look at him the same."

"That's already going to happen." Sam interjects, "once we announce he's alive, people are going to start asking these questions. Where was he? What has he been doing? Are we going to lie?"

"Maybe," Bucky says with a scowl, "we should ask him." His eyes pin to Steve who sighs.

"I don't know." Steve says plainly. "What I've done is unforgivable."

"Forced to do—" both Bucky and Sam say at the same time.

Steve raises his hands in surrender, "okay, yes, but either way. No one is going to see the strings. Every video looks like I'm doing it of my own volition."

"We'd release the file on the device then—" Rhodey starts.

"NO!" Steve shouts, "No. No way. I don't want that out there."

"Steve," Rhodey starts, "you'll need people to know why you did those things—"

"No." Steve says firmly, "you put the device blueprints out there and some psycho is going to try to copy it. No way."

"Okay." Tony cuts in, "we release the info of the device without the schematics or details. People can believe what they want."

"Hydra's demise released my files." Natasha says, her feet propped up on the desk, "and while yes, it was uncomfortable for a while, they've mostly moved on. I know it's different, but the device helps your case and the files on your capture beforehand really paint the picture."

"I don't want the whole world's sympathy." Steve says sharply, "that's not why I would want these out there."

Natasha laughs, "trust me, Steve. We know. But you're going to be world-wide news. Better to get ahead of it then let it get ahead of us."

It's quiet for a moment before Steve speaks, "what if after they see everything… they don't want me to be a part of the team?"

Tony glares at Steve, "Um, excuse me. My team, my rules. I get to say who I want. We're not Shield, we're not under government contract, they don't get a say."

Steve scrunches his nose and then sighs, "yeah but… I don't think I could join if they didn't want me too."

"Steve. You're the Captain this team needs." Bucky says sincerely, "I know it's a lot to think about, but…" he stares out the glass windows of the tower, "if you're done fighting, then no one would blame you. You've been through hell and back a thousand times and if you want to lay low and start over, then okay. I'll support you. But—" he turns back to Steve, "if there's even a minuscule part of you that wants to keep fighting. Then we want you."

"I know there's a lot I could do." Steve says with a serious expression. "It's been a long time since I was allowed to do good in the world. I'd like to try my hand at that again."

They smile at him and he smiles back.

—

The world is shocked and awed at Captain America's return. The files are dumped onto the internet and it's trending in minutes. They have Steve avoid the news and any media as they sift through the information and responses to it.

The outrage at his treatment for 30 years is what holds strong. The response to his actions under the duress and brain hijacking is a minor blip compared to the outpouring of sympathy and love for a man who suffered so mightily.

He starts to go out more, visit neighborhoods that he used to explore and know as a kid. People recognize him wherever he goes and the amount of kind looks and gestures he gets tells him that maybe, just maybe this new century isn't so bad.

—

"I still can't believe we got to the moon—" Steve says, "but your dad never got his flying car to work."

Tony just laughs, "Stark gravitic reversion technology. Never panned out. It did help me with the flight patterns on my first underwater missile though."

Steve just chuckles as he watches the moon landing and listens to the talk between the astronauts and earth.

—-

The first mission with him as the captain goes so much smoother than he could have possibly imagined that he begins to get suspicious.

He corners Bucky in the kitchen and stabs a finger at him, "did you plan that just to make me fool good?"

Barnes looks at him with a raised eyebrow, "plan what?"

"The mission. To give me a fake boost of confidence."

Bucky turns to him and sets the bottle of juice he was about to open down. "Steve. You're asking me if I set up a drone invasion in Libya that did a lot of structural damage to the city, just to give you confidence?"

Well… When he says it that way.

"I don't know." Steve huffs, "everything went so well. I didn't think it was possible to feel like I was leading the commandos again."

Bucky smiles at him. It's not us, Steve. It's you. You're a natural born leader. It went smoothly because of you. Not in spite of you."

He shakes his head, "I can't believe after everything, here we are, back together, back in the fight."

Bucky looks at him with a smile. "You say that as if you think I'd rather be somewhere else?"

—-

I can't believe it! I know I say that at the end of every fic, but STILL. this was supposed to be TWO chapters! And then it turned to 10 and then 17 and then 20 and now finally here we are at the end TWENTY TWO.

I hope you loved the ending of the journey, Truthfully I felt stressed to ensure we all got to a place we felt was safe and happy to leave them. If you think there's any important details I missed, or plot points I forgot, feel free to comment them and maybe I'l tag and epilogue if it works! It was A LOT to wrap up and ensure proper payoff so I hope I succeeded and I hope you enjoyed! Thank you to everyone who read along and Commented your kind and encouraging words! thank you!