Tris POV
Finally it is here, Choosing Day.
While I have been looking forward to this for years, I have also come to dread it these last days. What ifs have been swirling around my head and no matter what I came up with, there was always a positive and negative outcome.
Sleep has been had to come by and my stomach only settled down thanks to some great stuff Hunter sent my way via Max.
That's another bone of contention. Mom went straight to Max, who then went to Hunter. While I logically understand all their reasoning and see the wisdom of involving them, it still feels weird that they know I am pregnant but Eric doesn't.
Max spilled a lot of beans and it seems Eric is absolutely clueless as to who I am. He is aware that someone might be pregnant during initiation. The initiation he is tasked to supervise in his capacity as a leader while Tobias is my official trainer. That's the extent of it.
Max already explained that things will be slightly different and why but it still does not take the sting out of me causing all the extra work and changes.
"You'll do great and do not let that boy get to you," mom says once more. This has been her mantra since she came back. Somehow the simple fact that Eric is Jeanine's nephew made him into a a mix of possible bully and dominant.
I mean, he does not know who I am nor that I am pregnant. He knows he will be tasked with doing some slightly abbreviated exercises with me but not that it is me.
What I fear is his reaction to finding out he got a minor pregnant. Does it change his mind? Will he want to have anything to do with our child?
If I want to, I can still become a leader, everyone told me to not step back and let someone else take the position I am destined for.
We will see if I am really on top of my class or if I am relegated to the middle field. Uri and Lynn sure have the home field advantage.
"Stop worrying, Tris," mom groans seconds before father and Caleb join us.
I do just that by focusing on everyone that travels with us instead, making it a game of trying to figure out whether they'll stay or defect.
Once safely inside the large room housing the five bowls, I look around with slight awe until I feel a pinch on my ass. Whirling around, I am greeted with the smiling face of none other than Lynn.
"Are you ready?"
"I was born ready," I boast and there is some laughter behind us. "Hana," I greet excitedly, trying in vain to keep the serene expression of an Abnegation.
"Ready to come home," Hana asks me quietly when she manages to shove both Uri and Lynn out of the way.
"Yes."
"Good, we are counting on you."
"For what," I ask, feeling like I am missing something.
"Dauntless," Hana states before leaning in and whispering in my ear. "Bringing the faction and one naughty leader to his knees and ruling them all."
I freeze but a firm squeeze to my hand has me inhale sharply, filling my lungs with much needed air.
"You know," I gasp, barely audible.
"Your mom wanted to ensure you were taken care of. Don't worry, Eric is looking rather miserable at the moment and I believe it is due to your continued absence."
Hana doesn't get to say more. Jeanine, of all people, is reaching us and soon after Marcus starts the ceremony.
It feels like a blur. My name gets called, I drop my blood onto the coals and take a seat in the Dauntless section under hollers and deafening applause. My family is welcoming me home.
Uriah takes his seat beside me shortly after and Lynn follows a few letters down the alphabet. Marlene sidles up to Uri as one of the last people to choose and then it is over. I am Dauntless now, well, almost.
As one we make our way to the train stop and onto the rooftop. Max is there to greet us, just like he said. While my stomach is doing somersaults thinking about getting confronted by Eric soon, I still volunteer to become the first jumper.
Tobias pulls me out of the net and I finally get introduced to Lauren. While I have known of her for the last two years, I never got the chance to meet Tobias' significant other. She greets me warmly and I am wondering, not for the first time, if their attitude will change once everything is revealed.
Max told me that a note will be put in my file as soon as my pregnancy is confirmed so they will know that part. Eric is the wild card. Will he keep it quiet and confront me in private or will he do so in front of an audience, trying to humiliate me?
I shake those thoughts off, no need in dwelling on the uncertain when I will know for sure sooner rather than later.
The tour of the compound is not needed but I get it that not everyone has the privilege of spending time here. Last year they kept the two groups of initiates separated, a trial initiated by none other than Eric. This year we are back to square one, the tried and tested methods and that includes training and living together as one big group. No knock out fights, nobody made Factionless because Eric pulled the magic number of ten members out of his arse.
"I am starving," Uriah complains loudly and Tobias sighs while Lauren looks like she wholeheartedly agrees.
"Everyone follow me," Tobias shouts and stomps off.
"Thank you, Uriah. I really did not want to be the one to point out that he is taking too long," Lauren whispers before turning to me. "I have some things to get ready so I will miss dinner but maybe we can get to know each other a bit over breakfast?"
"Is that allowed?"
"Everyone knows you, why should I be the only one who doesn't? Ranking is done the old fashioned way again and no favoritism can be called when it is a handful of us deciding your rank."
"I'd love to talk more," I admit.
"Good, I will see you around, Tris."
Lauren veers off to the side and Lynn pulls my arm through her elbow.
"You bunk with me," she announces.
"I want the bottom bunk," I warn, thinking of how my stomach might be better off this way. The meds are great but why risk anything?
"You okay," Lynn asks me quietly.
"Yes," I hedge, looking at her enquiringly.
"You seem a bit … off. Not as enthusiastic as I thought you would be."
"There are a lot of things on my mind. I will be better once I am settled in and we know what's happening."
"We already know what's happening, Tris. You are going to do great. Come on, there is a free table."
We sit down with our group and Tobias but others join us and there only a few seats left. The one beside Tobias is suspiciously empty and I am wondering if there is a reason.
The door to the cafeteria bangs open and we all turn to look. My breath hitches when I see Eric stride in. His head turns left and right and then he spots me. His eyes move on to Tobias and stay there as he makes his way through the crowded room.
The noise picks up again all around us but my ears are still ringing.
This is it, the first hurdle. The indicator as to how this will play out.
I am still in Abnegation grey, nothing will hide that now and I am waiting with bated breath to see what happens next.
…
Eric POV
I am fucking pissed that I am reduced to office work. It's Choosing Day, the countdown to securing Tris for all of eternity has begun and I am starting it off with paperwork. Fuck my life!
Files need to be prepared on all those that chose Dauntless and it's a whopping thirty children. Well, I am supposed to call them adults now but they literally just left their mommy's skirts and are breathing fresh air for the very first time.
Looking back down on the list I just printed, I grimace when I see the number printed next to Abnegation. One. Honestly, who chooses Dauntless when they grew up Abnegation? Tobias Eaton was an anomaly, the first one to transfer in over fifty years and now, only two years later, we have another one. They are fucking lucky we changed the system. Under my watch they would be already halfway out the door.
I grumble some more and then decide to call it a day. It is late and I want to grab dinner before my first assignment, compliments of Max.
For some reason he thinks it is a great idea to have all the girls undergo a health checkup tonight. Does he want to expose the pregnant one as much as I want to? Public humiliation is a bit too late, the girl is already pregnant, isn't she? God, and I have to take her hand and guide her through training because they are afraid of how it will loook if the pregnant one gets kicked out for coming up short.
Shaking my head one more time, I shut down my computer and head out the door. Deciding to go past the control room to scan the monitors for a possible glimpse of Tris, I almost run into Hana.
She seems extremely giddy and I end up hightailing it before I even get to enter the room. Oh look, here comes Zeke.
He passes me without a second glance and I barely rounded the corner when I hear him call out to his mom.
"Mom, did you see Tris?"
"I just left her with Four in the cafeteria. She's having dinner with Uri and Lynn."
I freeze when I hear Hana's announcement.
"Aw, shit. I wanted to see her before my shift," Zeke whines.
"Because breakfast is too far away," Hana teases while I already turn around and rush off to the cafeteria.
Tris is here, I don't have to wait any longer and I will be able to speak to her.
I silently thank Hunter for the exercises he gave me. My jaw will tolerate me actually having a conversation without making me feel like I want to die.
Members are slow to jump out of my way but I finally reach the doors to the cafeteria and throw them open a tad too harshly in my eagerness to finally reunite with Tris.
Will she be upset if I maul her in front of everyone? If I kiss her, it should be considered the equivalent of staking my claim. Maybe a little grope as well to make sure the idiots get the message as well? Maybe not, we went from zero to fucking in seconds, she'd be pissed if I expose her in front of everyone. Fuck, I'd be livid at myself. She is mine and I don't share.
Why is she sitting with fucking Four anyway?
Looking around, I don't spot her right away and that is making me even more anxious. Did I miss her already?!
Yes! There she is, right beside Four. Okay, Eric, play it cool. Don't look at her, don't look. Focus on Four, yes, that's good. Keep your eyes on what's beside the prize.
I can feel my lips twitch, trying to form a smirk but I am forcing a neutral mask.
Why does my jaw have to hurt this much.
Okay, deep breath, two more rows. One row, now walk over to the empty chair and sit down. There, good job.
Finally I allow my eyes to move from Four to the woman beside him and I can feel my breath hitch as my whole body freezes.
It can't be! No, no, no…
Get a grip, Eric. You can't pinch yourself in front of everyone. Stay calm. You are a leader, you are in charge, and there is a logical explanation as to why Tris is in grey.
Four, sensing my scrutiny is on Tris, does the unthinkable and moves his arm to lie on top of the back of her chair. It's basically around her shoulders and I can't help the low growl entering my voice when I finally speak.
"Well, aren't you going to introduce me?"
I can see Tris' eyes widen but my brain is fogged up with all the different thoughts rushing around. None of them pleasant, none of them anything remotely like I imagined our reunion to be like.
I don't even hear Four say anything but I notice his lips moving and then stopping.
"Ooh, a Stiff… We'll see how long you last!"
While I want to take the words back the moment they leave my mouth, I stay silent. She tricked me, she betrayed my trust. She made a mockery of me and my position.
I barely pay attention to everyone around us jumping to her defense. The Dauntless born seem offended on her behalf and maybe there is some truth in what I remember. Max wants her for leadership but I don't want her. Not anymore. Maybe?
I need time to think and I need to get out of here. Being pissed looks way too tempting on Tris and I really don't want to do something I'll regret, like fuck her into submission and showing everyone she is beholden to me.
My thoughts turn even darker and I hastily stand up and walk out before I can say or do something I will most certainly regret later.
…
Tris POV
"Ooh, a Stiff… We'll see how long you last!"
I want to reach over Tobias and throttle Eric. I get that he is pissed, I kind of expected it, but it seems he is going way below the belt.
"Don't listen to him, Tris, Eric has no idea what you are capable of," Uriah jumps to my defense immediately.
"Us girls have to stick together to show we are better than most males," Lynn states proudly while throwing her arm over my shoulder.
"Just because we look better doesn't mean we are not capable," Marlene adds and Uriah nods enthusiastically.
"Tris will lead the pack," Tobias announces with a wink that doesn't go unnoticed by anyone.
"Think I will beat your four fears," I tease.
"Sure of it," he boasts.
"Hear, hear," Lynn and Uriah say in unison.
Eric doesn't stick around but stands up with a huff and stomps out of the cafeteria.
"Good riddance," Marlene quips and everyone digs into their food like nothing out of the ordinary happened.
…
"Everyone follow me," Tobias orders when we are done.
He doesn't get far before Max and Eric intercept him.
"All males follow Four to the training room," Max orders. "Ladies, please follow Eric to the infirmary," Max adds and I feel like blanching.
Max squeezes my shoulder as I pass and I know he knows but apparently Eric still doesn't. I wonder why?
The infirmary is empty save for all the staff waiting for our arrival.
"Tris, you are with me," Hunter orders as soon as we all come to a standstill. "Got your file already out and I am sure there is plenty more to add to it," he teases.
Eric does a double take upon hearing this and Hunter notices too.
"She has been a regular visitor growing up and I am sure being stuck around the clock with Uriah and Lynn won't help her case. At least she is a good patient and heals easily," Hunter praises with a side eye to Eric who, I assume, falls in the unruly patient category.
"Hey," Lynn protests loudly.
"Are you telling me you were not lying right beside Tris when you both decided to see if you could free climb the wall in the Pit? Maybe I just imagined the matching casts you two wore?" Hunter raises an eyebrow in question and Lynn shrugs.
"Max scared us as we were coming back down. If he hadn't screamed bloody murder I wouldn't have lost my footing and Tris wouldn't have tried to catch me," she defends our trip to the hospital.
"What about that time Uriah wanted to test how well you all swam and you ended up clinging to Tris who managed to hold onto a rock before you got swept away? It took far too long for someone to notice you guys were missing and where you were, you had hypothermia and a lung infection as a result. That 'do not swim sign' was erected as a reminder for everyone else that the chasm is indeed NOT for swimming!"
I can see Eric's eyes widen with each word Hunter says and it is time to call an end to this.
"Yes, Hunter, I have a thick file and I will promise to take more care in the near future. Should we get started," I ask, nodding towards the exam rooms.
"Lead the way, you know where room number five is. I will be right there," Hunter promises while assigning everyone else to a doctor or nurse.
"Pee in this and then we'll draw blood," Hunter says the moment the door closes behind him.
He throws me a small plastic container and I groan.
"I am not a man, Hunter. Maybe something bigger," I suggest and he sighs deeply.
"Grab a cup from my desk," Hunter groans and I trudge into the bathroom with my disposable cup and minuscule plastic tube.
A few minutes later I hand him both the cup and tube and take a seat while he gets busy on the counter.
"Pregnant," he calls out.
"Tell me something new," I grumble.
"Want me to call Eric in?"
"Fuck no," I hiss and Hunter does a double take.
"Trouble in paradise already," he teases.
"I wasn't sure if he knew who I was and it turns out he was unpleasantly surprised during dinner when he saw me wearing this." I motion down my body, indicating the grey clothes. "Called me a Stiff to my face."
"He does have a temper," Hunter says as if talking about the weather. "What did you say to that?"
"Nothing. Silence is golden," I quote and Hunter groans.
"So you purposely piss each other off and refuse to talk. Think you can figure your shit out before you give birth? Eric is supposed to train you and once he reads your file he will know about your pregnancy. Today is the only day you two can clear the air and you messed that up."
"He did," I accuse.
"You are not innocent in this dilemma. Both of you need to work on communication and keeping your temper in check. You do not want a volatile relationship, Tris. Talk, get it all out and see what you both want to do with a clear head. Sleep over it and try talking like civilised adults tomorrow. Now, hop on the scale for me."
Hunter does a thorough checkup and then he gives me a lecture about safe sex before ending with a plethora of information on all things pregnancy.
Eric is nowhere to be found when we are done at the infirmary and it is Lauren who picks us up and drops us off at the dorms.
Because of our detour the boys got there first but Uriah was smart enough to secure us bunks.
It takes forever for everyone to settle down and I am barely conscious when the lights finally go out. I sleep like dead but am able to rise early, just like I am used to.
Lynn is up as well and together we get ready for our day.
Thankfully mom brought all my things and I am now wearing my own Dauntless clothes. I will have to add more but there is no sense in doing so now. The bump will grow and who knows what exactly I will need until I need it.
We work out for an hour and then head into the still empty cafeteria.
Lynn is busy chatting with her sister, Shauna, who just arrived at the compound from her stint at the fence, when a hand lands on my shoulder.
"We need to talk, Tris."
I don't know if I should cry or sigh in relief that it is only Tobias who sought me out. He nods his head to an empty corner and I follow him without complaint.
"I read your file."
"Okay?"
"Your updated file," he clarifies.
"Okay?"
"Okay? That's all you have to say, Tris? It is not okay to find out your star student got herself knocked up. What the fuck were you thinking? I mean, I expected that from others but not from you. You are always so focused on your goal, task orientated and … I did not see that coming," Tobias groans.
"Neither did I," I admit and he stares me down.
"There is birth control readily available here. Take advantage next time. Honestly, you freaked me out, I ended up telling Lauren to double up on hers." No fucking way! How come he is walking with his balls still attached?! "I am not ready for that, we are too young. It's too soon. Are you feeling okay? Are you able to fully participate in initiation?"
"I think so. The nausea is gone, I got meds for that," I admit. Tobias is all over the place and I am now wondering what reaction I will get from Eric. Dread is slowly creeping up and he is no good companion.
"Be careful and don't do anything stupid. Being fearless doesn't mean you can't get hurt."
"I know that. It's done and I am going to do everything to the best of my abilities. Don't worry, they won't force you to become a leader," I hiss.
"Do you honestly think I give a shit about that?! Tris, I worry about you and your mental health. Your physical health too, but I could not care less about who becomes the next leader to the Dauntless. Anything you need, let me know and I will see what can be done. Something is too straining, let me know. Someone is pushing you, let me know."
"I get it, okay. Thank you."
Tobias nods and then looks over my shoulder.
"Don't hold back," he orders and then greets Lynn and Shauna before making his excuses.
"I read your file last night," Lauren tells me when she slides into the chair besides mine with her breakfast.
"Who hasn't," I groan.
"Four giving you trouble?"
"I got a lecture," I admit.
"I told him to leave you alone," she sighs.
"Did he really tell you to double up on birth control," I ask.
"Dear Lord, that man has no shame."
"He says he is not ready," I relay. "Freaked him out, he is too young."
"He should not say these things in front of you. Does he not think how it may effect you? Men!"
"What did he do now?"
We both turn to Lynn.
"Who," Lauren asks innocently.
"You tell me. Did Eric call Tris 'Stiff' again?"
"He did what?!"
"Okay, so it isn't Eric, that means Four. God, you two can keep gossiping about men, I really don't need to hear that. Girls all the way," she proclaims before turning around to talk to Marlene again.
"Let me know what you need during training and I will try to keep you in my group. Men just don't get it," Lauren sighs. "They think pregnancy turns you into an incapable human being that needs to be wrapped in cotton wool. I will push you," she promises and I smile at her in gratitude.
"Thanks, Lauren."
"Stick with me and the urge to murder your trainer will magically disappear," she smirks.
"I really like you."
"Likewise. Now come on, it's getting late. Initiates, time to head out," Lauren calls loudly and there are some groans but mostly hollers of support and encouragement from the members sitting around us.
An extra post to celebrate Valentine's Day. Honestly, I didn't get further than outlining a possible story before time was up. Life is busy and I am content to just post once a week. Maybe I'll have the next story ready to follow 'Those who assume' when all is said and done.