Three and a half years later
"We'll stop here." Terry's voice was scratchy and hoarse from all the screaming. It had been almost three minutes under the cruciatus curse. That was far too long. Harry knew. He'd spent time under that curse more times than anyone his age should have. The first time, in the graveyard, that was still the worst. It was the lack of preparation he'd had for it all. How unaware he'd been of just how much pain his body could feel. Terry walked off to set up a perimeter without another word. That's sort of how it had become lately. Talking with each other had once been as easy as breathing, but now any conversation felt forced. Pained. They were still fractured from what had happened over the last three years. They probably always would be. Days like this just reminded them of that. Of the lives they were now living, the war they were fighting in. Days like this reminded them of the day everything had changed. Malfoy's name on the manor gates, and Malfoy's name on that day too.
Anthony grabbed the bag, hefting out the tent. It would only require a few flicks of his wand and the tent would be set up, but Anthony liked to do it by hand. Harry knew enough to not question him on this. Perhaps it was the feeling of control, maybe the feeling of success and accomplishment. They didn't feel that too often these days.
"Are you alright Harry?" The level voice sounded odd coming from her. Harry had talked to the girl over the years, here and now. He wouldn't exactly call her one of his friends, but he liked her, she'd been one of the kindest to him once his identity was revealed. She never hounded him. She'd been the quiet within the mob. Harry had, and always would appreciate that. She was different, and these days that was rare. Somebody who stood out. But even she'd been changed by the war. Stuck down in Malfoy's cellar all this time, it was to be expected. Who knew what she'd been through? But even with all that she still asked after him.
"Yeah." Harry said, because that's what he always said. That's what they all said, because what point was there in breaking down. What point was there to crying their hearts out or lamenting how unfair life was. That's what they'd spent seventh year doing, back when the war was still in the opening stages. Back when everything hadn't been blown into pieces. Back when Harry's life still made sense.
"Harry." Luna remanded him softly.
"It's nice to see you." Harry said in response. He didn't tell her how much physical pain he was in. How there were too many cuts to bother healing. He didn't tell her how his mental anguish was far worse than any pain he'd ever felt. Even the cruciatus curse. He didn't tell her, because he didn't need to. She already knew. She felt the same way too after all.
"It's even better to see you." Luna blinked. "We'd heard you were dead."
Harry nodded. "Almost." He let a wry grin slip on his face. Death was the only thing worth smiling at these days. "We figured it was better to let them think that."
"They don't anymore."
"No," Harry murmured. After the mess they'd made at Malfoy Manor they would be devoting more and more manpower into finding Harry Potter. Somehow, after all this time, he was still the light's talisman.
"Who were you looking for?" Luna asked.
Harry sighed. He didn't bother with falsehoods: telling her that she was the objective. She was a mistake, a fortunate mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. "We found you." He told her, because he didn't want to give her the list of everyone who should've been there. Everyone who was missing. People who were probably dead anyway.
"I'm quite glad you did."
"Me too." Harry gripped her hand, grimacing as she flinched. He scarcely wanted to consider what they'd done to her. Luna squeezed his hand tightly.
"He's lost in the head," Luna looked over at the man, "they did things... but, he can still help. He can still be useful." Luna sounded nervous, and Harry wished it wasn't as easy as it was to figure out why. He knew what happened to weak links in this war. People who couldn't fend for themselves - people who couldn't fight - were left behind. Discarded by either side. No one had enough time to help people through their trauma, to fix them. No one could fix themselves. As bitter as the thought was, even winning the war wouldn't fix anything. It was too late for that. Winning was a pipedream. Thinking about living in the aftermath of the war wasn't something Harry would waste time doing.
Harry nodded. "We'll try." Harry said truthfully, because he didn't want to be somebody who'd discard people when they weren't useful. He also knew that if they were ambushed right now his priority would be himself, then it would be the locket, then it would be Terry, Anthony, Luna. Ollivander was last on that list. "Gryffindor's sword." Harry said, forcing himself to trust Luna. "We were looking for people, people who would know where the sword is. You weren't on the list of people who might know, but I figured I should ask anyway."
Luna frowned. "Gryffindor's sword is your quest?"
"We need it."
"More than you need allies?"
"Allies? You mean soldiers." Harry said bluntly, before exhaling sharply. He wasn't used to talking to someone new. He was used to Anthony and Terry. He was used to the silence; conversation only when necessary. He was used to unspoken understandings, because even if they were fractured right now, they still knew each other inside out. They knew the quest even better. They knew that to continue seeking out horcruxes was pointless if they couldn't kill them. It was dangerous too. There was enough animosity between the trio without a locket whispering evil's messages in their ears. "There's no point sending soldiers to fight a thing who cannot be killed."
"Gryffindor's sword can destroy horcruxes?"
"You know?"
"I read it in Prongs' Pamphlet." Luna said pointedly. "Back when the newspaper still circulated."
"He knew it was us. Posting a new article was too dangerous, especially when we didn't know if the pamphlet was making the rounds." Harry explained.
"Not informing the public was dangerous too."
Harry nodded obligingly. "We can talk to them now, now he knows."
"You need to." Luna said. "Not only to inform them of what's happening, but to put the message out. To tell them their hero is still alive."
Harry paused, letting the conversation fall away. The only sounds around them were Anthony hammering in the tent, and Ollivander humming a tune under his breath while he played with a stick. "Is he?" Harry eventually said.
"You still don't understand how important you are."
"I think that the wizarding world was foolish for elevating just a few to such high platforms. It meant that one falling down crippled the entire country."
"Dumbledore's death was inevitable."
"So is mine." Harry said, the last conversation he had with the man echoing around his head. Harry continued before Luna could address that, "Dumbledore is gone. Fudge is gone. Scrimgeour, gone. Shacklebolt, who knows - he might as well be. What do we have left?"
Luna cocked her head to the side, her eyes tracking a bird. She looked intrigued by the animal, and Harry couldn't help but wonder just how long she'd been stuck underground. To Luna, the bird symbolised hope, new life. To Harry, it just meant that Terry hadn't finished setting up the borders yet. "Shacklebolt is alive."
"You have a confirmation?" Harry raised an eyebrow. Luna had been a hostage for weeks, at best. She didn't have any idea of current news.
"Why do you think I was a hostage, and not a casualty?"
"Your personality." Harry quipped and Luna giggled. Harry couldn't remember the last time he'd heard someone laugh. It was a nice sound.
"The rat-man did seem extremely interested in my theory that nargles were the true cause of the war."
"Rat-man... did you get his name?" Harry tugged at the necklace around his neck. The chain he'd been wearing for a year.
Luna grinned toothily, "Sirius told me to never give him the respect of a name."
"Sirius told you that?" Harry asked, incredulous.
"He likes the sound of his own voice."
"That he does." Harry agreed, before pausing. "Likes... do you... do you have a confirmation on that?"
"I'm as sure about Sirius as I am about Kingsley."
"How?" Harry tried to hide the desperation. He tried to hide the hope. It had been too long since he felt it, he didn't need the humiliation which accompanied it when it was snuffed out, and it always was snuffed out.
"The Order. I'm part of it."
Harry knew about the Order, of course he did. Between Dumbledore and Sirius, he was familiar with the group. In sixth year, he'd been able to name and identify every member. He'd spent the summer seeing Nymphadora Tonks, or Mundungus Fletcher outside his bedroom window: Dumbledore's compromise. Not that Harry had offered him a choice. He refused to live in a house without his father and stepmother, he refused to give up his family. Harry had refused to contribute to the group. Dumbledore had called him foolish. It had been a point of contention between the two.
In the end Harry was proven right. Mundungus Fletcher was a piece of crap double-timing thief, and to Harry, he represented everything wrong with Dumbledore and his addiction to forgiveness. Snape, a member himself, had been the one to kill Dumbledore. Harry should know, he'd been there after all. He'd watched Snape stand in front of Draco Malfoy; he'd watched the light leave Dumbledore's eyes.
If he stepped back and thought rationally, he knew Snape had no choice. That Dumbledore's death was inevitable long before Death Eaters had ended Hogwarts, and Snape, whilst Dumbledore's murderer, was not the cause of his death. Harry had no idea whether that exonerated him. Whether the grim acceptance he'd seen in Dumbledore's expression as Snape had stepped forth proved him the faithful servant, or the death eater. It didn't matter.
The Order was Dumbledore's, and Dumbledore couldn't be trusted. Dumbledore's judgement in people was infamously bad. Harry had first-hand experience of that. Even with his godfather a member, Harry couldn't put aside his distrust in Dumbledore, and he couldn't put any faith into the Order. Besides, what was that saying about not putting all your eggs in one basket? Harry and his friends had been found once before by the Death Eaters; they'd lost people that day. It was for the best that not all of the resistance was in one place, otherwise they were too easy a target.
Harry didn't seek out the Order's help, nor could he find it if he wanted to. Voldemort himself had put a lot of manpower into tracking the Order down, Harry's inside-man had told him that much. If Voldemort and all of his resources couldn't find it, how did Harry stand a chance.
"They're still operating?" Harry asked, he hadn't heard much about them recently. They were stories of fights between them and Death Eaters in the street. No rumours about the secret resistance. He'd half-thought they'd been killed, the only proof otherwise being the lack of word from his source on the dark side.
"Stronger than ever." Luna said confidently. "They've been recruiting."
"Good for them." Harry snarked. "More soldiers for Dumbledore to use as cannon fodder."
"Dumbledore's dead."
"I know." Harry retorted harshly. "I was there. But it's still his legacy driving their every action."
"You speak as if you know what the Order does."
"I've been around it enough to see how it operates it. I've sat in meetings, met the members."
"The old members, the old meetings." Luna returned. "Two years ago, I would guess?" Harry nodded reluctantly. "Harry, the entire wizarding world has changed. You've changed. Your friends have changed." Her voice was airy and calm, each minute returning her closer to the Luna who used to skip around the halls of Hogwarts. "Are you too stubborn to consider that the Order has changed?"
"I don't know how something so heavily controlled by Dumbledore can be something I can put any faith in."
"New leadership." Luna said, as if that explained it all.
"Who?"
"You'll see."
"I will?" Harry chucked at her assuredness.
"Where else are you planning on venturing next?"
"I told you; I'm looking for Gryffindor's sword."
Luna cocked her head to the side contemplatively. "You told me you had a list of people who might know it's location." Harry scrambled fruitlessly in the bag, sighing, before pulling out his wand and summoning the list. He wondered whether magic would ever become his first instinct. "Oh." Luna muttered.
"What?" Harry asked, as Luna took the list from him.
"I wasn't expecting it to be an actual physical list on a piece of paper."
"I have a lot to think about and it's a long list." Harry replied defensively, on the verge of pouting.
Terry walked over, sitting on the ground with a grunt. "All done." Harry nodded in thanks. "You've told her everything?" Terry frowned, eyes on the list.
"Yes." Harry said. Terry sucked in a breath. It didn't take anything more for Harry to know he disapproved.
"Neville Longbottom, Minerva McGonagall, Amelia's dead, but Susan's with us." Luna piped up, her eyes scanning the list.
"Bones is dead?" Terry asked as Harry said,
"You have three of them?" The idea that, what was now more than half of their list was in one place was almost unbelievable.
"Amelia Bones died when I was captured."
"So, we were almost right." Anthony said, coming over with the tent completed behind him.
Luna sent Harry a questioning look. "We thought she might have been in the Manor."
"She took a killing curse for him." Luna nodded in Ollivander's direction.
"That sounds like an incomprehensible decision." Terry said bluntly.
"It was a sacrifice." Luna retorted.
"A stupid one." Terry continued unwavering. Luna's eyes narrowed. Harry didn't think he'd ever seen the younger girl angry before. "She's more useful than him."
"Don't disregard him like that."
"Can he even string together a conversation? A single sentence?" Luna scowled. It was an odd sight on the blonde. The war's changed us all, Harry thought. The innocent more than anyone else. Yet, even with this undeniable truth, he could still see Luna, in a way he could scarcely see Anthony or Terry anymore. She still seemed to retain so much of herself. Just with a bit more bite to her.
"Don't even think about saying something like that in front of Susan. Don't disregard her aunt's sacrifice. Don't." Luna reprimanded; her voice cold but firm. "And don't disrespect him. He's the only reason I'm alive."
"We're the only reason you're alive." Terry said. "Do you seriously think you would have lasted much longer? You were going to be killed at the end of the week."
"Terry!" Harry growled, gripping his arm hard.
"You don't know that." Luna said. Terry opened his mouth, and Harry dug his nails into his arm, glaring at him.
"Take it off." Harry ordered.
"Yessir." Terry snarked, throwing the locket in Anthony's direction. "Your turn princess." He winked at Anthony, not a hint of mirth in his tone. Anthony glared at the dirt where the locket landed, reluctantly putting down the hammer he'd finished with and picking up the locket gingerly.
"That's the horcrux." Luna's eyes were wide.
"I told you we had it."
Luna adverted her eyes from the locket as Anthony clasped it around his neck. "I feel like I'm seeing my nightmare incarnated in front of me. That's a piece of his soul?"
"You spent weeks in the same Manor as him, yet you feel this way about being near a small part of him."
"I never saw him. I heard him. Once. He was screaming, but... not angry. I think he was in pain." Luna said, and Harry grinned. It had worked. "This, this I can feel. It feels evil."
"It didn't before you saw it?" Terry asked one eyebrow raised in disbelief. Luna stayed silent. "Ah." Terry realised. "You thought that was me." He laughed sardonically. "Great."
"The Order's in London." Luna said, moving past Terry's words without acknowledgement. Just quiet acceptance that he was right.
"Of course." Harry laughed. "In the capitol, surrounded by ministry personnel all eating out of You-Know-Who's hand. Great location." He snarked.
"We haven't been found yet." Luna smiled dismissively.
"Yet." Terry repeated.
"It'll be dangerous." Harry said, looking at Anthony and Terry.
"Don't bother with this whole democracy thing. This is necessary."
"We're going." Anthony confirmed.
"Okay. Tomorrow."
Luna's smile widened, before dimming, a slight edge to it. "You don't get to see it unless he comes with." She nodded her head in Ollivander's direction.
"We're not in the habit of getting rid of people." Terry said, Harry could almost imagine his inner monologue saying something along the lines of, even if they are madder than the hippogriff on the magic carpet.
Luna nodded, a peaceful expression on her face. "Tomorrow then." She settled. "Do you have sleeping arrangements?"
"Yeah, we have three watches." Terry stood up, brushing his trousers down. "But don't worry, we'll sort that out. You should get some sleep, here," he gestured for her to follow her, clearly seeking amends for his behaviour under the locket. Terry always got hit by the guilt once he took it off, and the residue from the locket cleared from his mind. The two ducked into the tent, Luna coming out minutes later to guide Ollivander inside too.
Harry waited for Anthony to leave. It was his turn at first watch after all, and normally the blonde wouldn't hesitate to remove himself from Harry's proximity and find sleep. Instead, Anthony waited, sitting across from Harry in silence until Harry could no longer hear the muffled discussions between Luna and Terry, nor the omnipresent humming from Ollivander. Just as Harry was about to ask whether Anthony wanted first watch instead, the blonde stood up, dusting down his pants and began to walk.
Harry felt immediate guilt for the sigh of relief he felt, at, what he thought was him being left alone. His brain was still whirring from the day. From the encounter with the Malfoys, with Bellatrix Lestrange. For the simultaneous feelings of joy at finding Luna of all people in the basement, and the disappointment of not finding anybody he was actively seeking. The day had been draining.
Harry jumped as Anthony sunk to the ground besides him. He'd thought Anthony was going to sleep. He really hadn't expected him to sit so close to him, to not hold him at a distance as he usually did. "It worked then?" Anthony asked - Harry hadn't expected Anthony to try and engage in a conversation with him.
"Seems that way.
"Are you going to try it again?"
Harry ran his hand through his hair, pressing his hand against his temple. It had hurt so much the last time he did it. It hurt even more not knowing if it had worked. Not knowing whether Voldemort had been crippled by it. "I'm not sure."
"Don't tell Luna anything else." Anthony said.
"Terry told you to say that to me?"
Anthony shrugged. "He's right. You don't know how loyal she is to the Order. You don't know what she'll relay to them"
"I haven't told her anything we wouldn't have disseminated to the public."
"You'd have told them we were looking for Gryffindor's sword?"
"You-Know-Who already knows we're looking for his horcruxes." Harry said. "I didn't tell Luna about the cup. I didn't ask her about the diadem even though I bet she knows. I wasn't running my mouth. I'm not stupid."
Anthony raised his hands. "I know."
"She can know about the sword because it's not the only way we can destroy horcruxes."
"Just the easiest."
"Until we can find a way into Hogwarts? Yes." Harry paused. "I think we can trust her."
"If you trust her, that means trusting the Order. You're the one so ardently against that."
"I know. I am." Harry reassured. "I still am. I'm just..."
"Exhausted."
"Yeah. I'm tired of being on guard constantly. This locket," Harry flicked at the chain hanging from Anthony's neck, "it's destroying us."
"It won't be much longer. It can't be." Anthony said. "We'll get the sword and then all of this," he waved his hands about, eyes darting in Terry's direction. Terry was sleeping now, the locket no longer fastened around his neck, but Harry understood what Anthony was saying. They both knew, for whatever reasons, the locket seemed to effect Terry more than either of them. "It'll all be over."
"Remember when we used to say that about the war?"
Anthony grimaced, twisting his hands together. It was a long time until he spoke again. "Today was a hard day for you."
"Today was hard for everyone." Harry returned.
"Yes." Anthony nodded. "But harder for you." He acknowledged.
"Maybe." Harry admitted. Seeing him after all this time had been anything but easy. Fighting him had been even worse. "You still hate him?"
"I don't get how you don't." Anthony replied honesty. "I hate him, because it's his fault. You know that."
Harry bit his lip. "There were many factors."
"He could've stopped it, he could've warned us." Anthony said, his voice devoid of emotion. That was the only difference between this conversation now as opposed to the last time they'd had it. Last time Anthony had been yelling, he'd been bitter and devastated and angry, and he wasn't there to yell at, so he'd turned his rage on Harry. He'd chosen Harry of all people to represent him. Harry to blame. As if it hadn't been Terry who'd befriended him initially. But no, Anthony chose that it was Harry's fault, and despite Harry being bitter he made that choice, Harry didn't blame him. It was true after all. They'd all become targets because of Harry's existence. Everything that happened at the end of fourth year had catapulted them into the limelight, forced them to be more than students, more than even soldiers. They had to be leaders in a war, and that was Harry's fault. Their casualties were on him.
"Yeah." Harry nodded. "He should've done more."
"He chose you." Anthony stated.
"Yeah. I know."
"I wish he hadn't."
Harry tugged at his necklace. "Me too."
"I really miss him you know." Harry turned to Anthony in surprise.
"Yeah," Harry said, his heart heavy in his chest. Merlin how he wished he could go back to first year, to feel that uninhibited joy about magic, to meet his dormmates again, to be unburdened by all this death and war. To be able to see Mike again. "Me too."
AN: Hope you enjoyed. I know this probably wasn't expected but hopefully it didn't disappoint too much. The things which happened during fifth to seventh year will be explored... eventually.
Also I altered the end of the last chapter so maybe reread that