Wynne opened the door to Leliana's room and as soon as I saw Leliana on the bed, I had to steady myself against the doorway. She lay still on the bed, tucked under the covers. She looked almost peaceful but I knew what injury lay just beneath and it made my stomach turn.

"She just needs rest, Detra. She will be all right." Wynne offered.

I took a breath before answering.

"Are you certain? How bad...How bad was she?"

Wynne put her hand on my shoulder as she saw I was rooted to the spot I was in.

"I promise you that she will be all right, Detra. Magic really can work wonders and we reached her in time. She will have a scar and the memories, but that's all."

I could do nothing but stare at Leliana's sleeping form on the bed as horrors of what could have happened ran through my mind, my fists clenched.

"I know just hearing your voice will help her, Detra. Go and sit with her."

Wynne gently prodded me forward towards a chair and I looked at her, my mind tumbling.

Wynne smiled down at me and touched my shoulder, understanding my silence. I turned back to Leliana and swallowed hard, having no idea what to say or do.

I heard the door close suddenly as Wynne gave me some privacy and then I finally took Leliana's hand as I pulled the chair closer to the bed.

"Hey..."

I stared at her for a few moments, brushing the hair from her face and trying not to let the tears escape again. I was no good to her crying.

"You're going to be fine, do you hear me? I bet it's not the first time you've been stabbed and it won't be the last. But you're tough and... Nothing can take you down."

Leliana did not stir and I remained where I was, stroking her hand that was within mine, holding it together for now.

My mind would not let me forget where I had just been and what I'd been doing. I had been off with yet another woman, even as Leliana had been apparently fighting for her life.

What kind of person am I?

Much time went by as I sat there with Leliana and still she did not wake. She did not so much as stir on the bed at all. Wynne's spell must have been keeping her immobile to avoid more damage to her wound.

All I could see in my mind was a mix of Isabela and Leliana and I could not get the thoughts to leave. Memories tumbled through my head and I could not tell one from the other.

I even saw Morrigan in the mix and I knew no good ever came of those thoughts.

It almost felt as if I might be disturbing Leliana with my own mental distress and that was no good at all.

Maybe the best thing I could do for Leliana now was to leave her alone.

I went to my own room soon after, changing from the dress into plain clothes. I washed up a bit as I could still feel Isabela all over me and it only made me feel guiltier.

I made my way back to Leliana's room soon after, feeling I should at least explain why I was not there. Even if she could not hear me, it made me feel better to know I'd said something.

Still no change in her condition.

I could not stay here any longer, just watching her lie there. It was making my heart ache.

I stood up, releasing her hand.

"I will be back later, Leliana. I promise. I must take care of something now."

I leaned down to kiss her forehead and still she did not rouse. I sighed and made my way out the door where Kahrl was now stationed.

"Is she all right, ma'am?" Kahrl asked, concern in his voice.

"Yes, she will be soon, Kahrl. Can you do me a favor? Can you send for me immediately when Leliana wakes up? I will be within the estate."

"Yes, ma'am. As soon as she wakes up."

I walked off into the hall, searching. My mind was clear about what needed to happen next.

Alistair came towards me with his arms open and pulled me into them, kissing the top of my head. I did not give in to his hug but asked him a question.

"Alistair, have you seen Zevran?"

"Yes, he just..."

"Here I am, Detra. I was just setting out to find you myself." Zevran said as he approached us from behind.

I pulled away from Alistair and set my eyes on Zevran in earnest, feeling as if I couldn't breathe for a moment.

"Zevran, I need to ask something of you."

Zevran waved his hand at me.

"There is no need, Detra. I have already found out what you will ask me."

I was a bit shocked but as Zevran spoke, I realized that he was part of the team and he would not allow this transgression to go unpunished either.

"Leliana was found at a lodge in the seedier part of town where she had tracked an assassin who calls himself Bane. It seems Leliana was familiar with the bartender and he is the one who involved authorities as soon as he found her. It was he who saved her life."

"An assassin? Why was she tracking an assassin?" I asked.

"It seems Leliana had more knowledge than she let on. I do not know how she got her information but she managed to uncover at least one of the two that are in Denerim."

"One of the two? You mean there is more than one?"

"Yes." Zevran replied.

"Who do they seek? Why are they in Denerim? Do they mean to harm Leliana or was this because she got in their way?"

Zevran shook his head.

"No, my dear Warden. They were assigned to you."

The realization that Leliana had tried to save me from assassination and almost lost her own life in the process dawned on me and I felt another stabbing pain.

"Zevran..."

I took hold of his hands and looked directly into his eyes, lowering my voice.

"Please...I need you to find this man. I need you to make sure that he suffers and that he dies, Zevran..."

Zevran understood the look in my eyes. He had seen it many times in revengeful lovers who had lost their beloved to an unpleasant fate and he nodded and squeezed my hands.

"Yes, Detra. I am working on that already. I have many well-paid ears to the ground and he will be found wherever he goes. It is only a matter of time."

I squeezed Zevran's hands again, tears welling in my eyes. I desperately tried to hold them back, letting anger replace them.

"Please...Be sure he is dead. I will release you from your oath and give anything else that you might want if you complete this last task for me...Show no mercy for him."

Zevran nodded again.

"It will be done, Detra. You have my word."

Zevran turned to leave and Alistair took his place in front of me.

"Are you all right?"

I shook my head.

"Not really, no. I need to...go outside or something. I need to... kill something. By the Gods I want to crush his face!"

I crushed my hands into tight fists and my teeth clenched together as I envisioned finding this Bane and crushing the life from him, slowly and painfully.

It was true, what I had learned in my younger years. Anger was the more acceptable emotion, no one ever questioned it. But sadness on any level showed weakness. I could not allow any feelings I had for any of my friends to become deterrents to the future.

It's just how it was and how it would need to stay.

Alistair put his arm around my shoulder and brought me with him towards the courtyard.

"I believe I know what will help you with that, Detra. Let's go destroy some dummies."

I followed Alistair, taking solace in the fact that I would soon be hitting things and that Bane would soon lie dead.

Sten was out in the courtyard practicing as always and I saw Mabs lounging in the sun that was lowering in the sky by the minute. He raised his head when he heard my voice approach, but then slowly his head sunk back into the grass, too comfortable to join me.

At least one of us gets some peace.

Sten watched the two of us enter the courtyard and head to the weapons rack. I saw him approaching us out of the corner of my eye and silently hoped he was not coming to complain to me about something as usual.

"Warden. I am sorry about Leliana."

I turned to see that it was indeed Sten who had spoken and not some figment of my imagination. I was surprised he would bother but I was not ungrateful.

"Thank you, Sten."

"Will you now find and kill the assassin who attempted to take her life? Or has he already been slain?"

I balled my fists up again, angry it wasn't finished already.

"It's taking time to locate him."

Sten nodded.

"You will find him. Just as you located my Asala in a country at war, Warden. You have an uncanny way of getting things done."

Sten walked away to continue his practice and Alistair and I glanced at each other.

"I can honestly say I never thought I'd hear Sten speak that way about one of us. You have impressed him it seems." Alistair said.

I didn't feel very impressive.

I shrugged at Alistair and I walked towards the weapon racks.

"Do not forget that Sten has most likely never seen a human except on the other side of a battlefield, Alistair. He had no knowledge of our kind, at least the good kind of human, just as we had none of his. Qunari are thought to be savage beasts but I have not seen this in Sten, even after hearing of his handiwork in Lothering. He made a mistake and I do believe he learned from it. Fear can cause one to do foolish things."

Alistair looked at me.

"You really don't believe he's dangerous?"

I shrugged again, not wanting to get too in detail. I was still thirsting for violence after all.

"We work together and we learn together. That is how it must be. Sometimes it takes others to show you the way."

We found our weapons on the racks and it felt good to have my sword in my hand again.

"Warden! How nice it is to see you again!"

Bodahn Feddic was strolling across the courtyard, waving towards me with his boy Sandal following behind.

I must admit that he was the last dwarf I would imagine I'd see again.

"Bodahn, what are you doing here? I thought you were on your way to Amaranthine."

"Oh we were...But on the way, I couldn't help but think about the Blight and how you Wardens have the odds set so against you. How could I possibly leave and not try to help?"

I crossed my arms.

"Did Arl Eamon ask you to come to Denerim, Bodahn? Perhaps offer a bit in the way of payment as well?"

Bodahn clasped his hands together and smiled.

"Well, yes, I must admit that the Arl did indeed request my services. But I agreed so that I may do what I can to assist against the Blight. We must come together if we have any hope of defeating the Darkspawn!"

I nodded, smirking at the greed hidden in Bodahn's speech.

"Well, there is a third Warden here in Ferelden and soon he will be returning with some weapons. If you could assist him and see what you could possibly improve in the lot of them, I would appreciate it. Perhaps some enchanting as well."

"Absolutely, Warden. You will always receive my best service!"

Sandal's eyes lit up.

"Enchantment?"

Bodahn put his hand on Sandal's shoulder.

"Yes, my boy, enchantment! Warden, where do you store your supply of runes?"

I pointed out directions.

"We have a supply chest in the estate. Up these stairs, third door on the left. I don't think Riordan has returned yet so if you'd like, there's probably someone about who could get you both a bite to eat if you're hungry."

Bodahn smiled and bowed a bit in front of me.

"Thank you very much, Warden. I must say it will be great to be working alongside you again." Bodahn said.

The four of us parted ways and Alistair and I finally made our way over to the dummies that lined the back walls around the estate, weapons in hand.

I was tired of talking. I wanted to let my mind go and just destroy something.

The dummy before me suffered the fate I would have given the assassin many times over and Alistair's fared no better.

My arms were tired after a bit and I stopped to catch my breath, leaning against some hay bales. Anger continued flowing through me as all I saw in my head was Leliana on a dirty floor somewhere, stabbed and bleeding.

Suddenly a large number of elves and dwarves poured from the back door of the estate and I was about to question Alistair as to why. Then I remembered that I had been the one to get them here.

This was the army we had amassed in order to face the Darkspawn threat.

"It seems the armies have begun arriving in Denerim," Alistair said, now standing beside me. "It's finally the beginning of the end. Or the beginning of the beginning. But I guess that depends on how we fare."

Alistair chuckled a bit but I didn't respond in kind, my mind on more serious matters.

"It looks that way. I hope they've encountered no problems making their way here."

Elves and dwarfs alike made their way as we had to the dummies and were now beginning their own practice, looking ready and very able to fight. Nods between us were exchanged as I happened to recognize some of them from their respective cities. Some nods were simply out of respect.

This army we had recruited was all that was left to stand between the Darkspawn and our own annihilation. I could not ponder long on whether or not it was enough. I had to trust that it was.

"Alistair, I'm going to check on Leliana."

"All right, Detra. I will be out here if you need me."

Inside of the estate was brimming with activity and even more elves and dwarves were here, along with some soldiers I did not recognize. Perhaps Eamon had summoned them from Redcliffe.

Eamon himself was buried among a number of elven and human servants and soldiers and I walked to him.

"Eamon, do you need any assistance?"

It took a moment to gain his attention but finally Eamon acknowledged me.

"Ah, Detra. I have been meaning to speak with you."

Eamon finished handing out instructions to the elves and some soldiers and moved over to me.

"There is so much going on at the moment, it is hard to find time. Your armies are arriving as we speak and my servants are busy preparing accommodations for all of them."

"Will everyone fit into the estate?"

"Not into rooms, no. But we are setting up beds in the front hall and wherever else there is room. There are also a great many vacant inns throughout town that we are working on securing as well."

"Do you need any help?"

"No, I believe my servants are handling everything very well but thank you. How is Leliana by the way?"

I frowned slightly.

"She has still not woken up but Wynne assures me she will be fine. I trust her word."

Eamon cast a knowing glance and nodded.

"I am sure she will be. Anyone with you on their side will pull through."

I nodded, appreciating Eamon's concern but not wanting to think about the situation.

"Those soldiers... Are they from Redcliffe, Eamon?"

"Yes, I took what men could be spared from Redcliffe to assist us here in Denerim. We clearly need all the help we can get."

"Are Isolde and Connor doing well?"

Eamon spoke some instructions to a nearby woman and nodded.

"Yes, they are doing very well. Redcliffe has been safe aside from the occasional loose Darkspawn band. As we already know, the bulk of the horde will be in Denerim soon."

"It looks as if the tides are turning, Eamon. Our numbers grow against the Darkspawn as well."

"I must believe that, Detra or all is lost to us. Now I must excuse myself for there are some issues that need to be handled."

Eamon walked away from me and I made my way back up the stairs again and towards Leliana.

There was no change in her condition. She still lay sleeping and I did not stay by her side long. There seemed nothing I could do for Leliana now but give her time.

Kahrl had gone off duty but as I confirmed with the new soldier stationed at Leliana's door, he'd already been given explicit instructions to find me as soon as Leliana awoke. I smiled lightly, feeling safe knowing that Leliana had such wonderful people looking out for her.

It was more than I had done for her.

Guilt seeped through my veins at lightning speed and I truly felt ashamed of myself. My actions as of late were inexcusable and somehow I would need to rectify things with Leliana.

Boundaries needed to be set, apologies doled out and distance kept.

There was no other way this could work.

I headed back to my room as there was nothing else I could do at this point. I figured I might as well indulge in a bath and get the last of Isabela from my body and my thoughts lingered on her a bit.

I sighed and shook my head.

I needed to forget about women as they served only as a distraction from my duties.

Duties that could not be forsworn at this point.

Or ever.

I distracted myself from my own thoughts and searched for Deric near my room, wondering how the servants were dealing with all of our new guests.

"My lady, is there anything that I can get for you?"

A blond elven woman appeared behind me out of nowhere as I walked into my room and I turned around.

"Oh, uh... Where is Deric?"

The elf bowed her head.

"Begging your pardon, my lady, but Deric has taken ill. With all of the guests to prepare for and service, he simply wore himself out. He will be bedridden for a day or two,"

I frowned, missing my familiar friend already.

"Oh no. I hope he is well soon."

The elven girl kept her head towards the floor.

"I hope that I will be a suitable replacement for him and that I am able to care for your needs, my lady."

I shrugged, hoping I could convince this elf that she needn't be so formal with me.

"Oh don't worry about that. What is your name?"

This elf looked just as surprised that I would ask such a question as the others had but she answered sooner.

"My name is Fiona, my lady."

I held my hand out to her and smiled.

"I'm Detra. It's a pleasure."

The elf bowed a bit and avoided my hand, looking shy.

"Is there anything I can get for you now, my lady?"

I sighed, always feeling badly about asking for things to be done.

I did not enjoy being a burden on anyone.

"I was actually hoping for a bath."

"Right away, my lady."

Fiona retreated through the door and down the hall to fetch some help and the bathwater while I walked over to my dresser, selecting clothing to wear after my bath.

There was a knock at the door and it was the elves to deliver the bathwater. They left as Fiona walked back through the door, carrying fresh towels and some soaps. I expected she would lay them near the tub and make her exit but she stayed in the room, turning down the covers on my bed, taking care not to disturb the clothes I'd set out.

I smiled at her and hoped she understood I needed nothing else.

"Thank you, Fiona."

"You are welcome, my lady."

Still Fiona was at the bed, performing her duty with perfection.

I shrugged. I guess she would leave after she was finished with what she felt was her charge.

I slipped out of my clothes and into the tub hastily, trying to avoid embarrassment for both of us.

Fiona finished with the bed momentarily and now I saw her moving towards me.

"Which soap would you like, my lady?"

I just looked at Fiona, confused.

"You don't have to do anything else, Fiona. I am fine for right now."

"The Arl sent me specifically to ensure all of your needs were met, my lady. I cannot exactly leave you now."

"Sure you can. I can most certainly bathe myself and if I could not...Well, that would be a separate matter." I giggled.

Fiona looked down at the floor, nervous.

"I do not want the Arl angry with me, my lady."

"Well I don't think the Arl would get angry over this but...You can stay if you want, but I don't need anything else, Fiona."

The woman looked a bit forlorn and I felt bad for her.

"Hey...There is nothing to be upset about."

"I am fine, my lady. Thank you,"

I could feel Fiona still behind me but I settled back down into the water. I would let her do as she pleased as she seemed upset about being in trouble for some reason. I needed to just try and relax and rid myself of this anger that clung to me.

My mind was calming with the quiet and the soothing water and then I felt hands on my shoulders, startling me alert.

Fiona's hands began to rub my tired muscles and I moved forward into the tub.

"Fiona, no... You don't..."

"Does this please you, my lady?"

"Well it feels good, but..."

"Then let me continue, my lady."

I gave up fighting the fact that Fiona took her duties very seriously and let her massage my shoulders. In truth, it felt splendid as my muscles had been given quite the workout today. That and all of the issues that needed dealing with had embedded themselves within me and I felt some of it melt away as my muscles began to unwind.

Her massage only bothered me because of the fact that Fiona was female. And it seemed that any woman that I allowed near me seemed to suffer an adverse fate if I let her too close.

I was tired of hurting. Both myself and others.

My body became more at ease as my thoughts evaporated and I found that Fiona was marvelous with her hands. I wondered if I might just steal her away from the Arl for these massages every now and then.

I felt a weight on my chest under the water and my thoughts shattered as I realized it was Fiona's hand snaking down into the water and I grabbed hold of her wrist.

"Whoa! Fiona... What are you doing?"

Fiona did not answer but slid her other hand under the water from the other side and I repeated the same.

"Am I not suitable to your needs, my lady? I was told that you... enjoy women."

I was shocked and shook my head, feeling very uncomfortable.

"Wait, wait. No..."

I could not even speak a full sentence, so thrown off by what was happening.

"I am sorry, my lady. You do not enjoy women?"

"I...Not like this."

Fiona began rubbing my shoulders again as I would not allow her hands any lower.

"I promise that I will be worth your time, but please do not send me away. The Arl will be angry with me."

I shook my head, now angry at the fact that she'd been sent here for this... 'duty'.

Did the Arl truly think I would appreciate this gesture?

Or perhaps it was all a misunderstanding.

"I don't care who sent you, Fiona. There is no reason why you should be asked to do such a thing."

I grabbed one of the towels from beside me and stepped out of the tub, covering myself completely.

The elf looked up from the floor and into my eyes for once.

"Do you not find me attractive enough? I am sorry. I can try harder."

I shook my head, certain that was not the reason.

I touched her cheek fondly, frowning slightly.

I loathe servitude.

"Do not ever let anyone tell you what you should do. You should not take orders from anyone. You are free to go, Fiona."

I tucked my towel around me tighter to prevent it loosening and as my arm dropped away at Fiona's waist, something sharp poked my arm. I looked down as Fiona turned away and noticed a shape under her blouse that was very familiar to me and suddenly my body was alert.

"Are you...Is that a dagg...?"

Before my sentence was complete, Fiona had me pinned against the wall and indeed had a dagger up against my throat. There was nothing submissive about her at all now.

Fiona moved in close to me, staring into my eyes, her eyebrow arched.

"Someone does not wish you to live past today, Warden. And I have been paid handsomely to fulfill that wish."

I could not speak or swallow as the blade dug tightly into my neck. All I could do was stare in shock at the second assassin that had been sent after me as she prepared to seal my fate.

Fiona stared back at me and I was just waiting to feel the dagger slide across my neck, ending my life, even as there was still so much left undone.

"Consider yourself fortunate that I am not another, Warden. And that you passed my test."

Fiona deftly removed the blade from my neck and pressed her lips into mine for a second, giving me a certain look afterward. She then took off through my door quickly, almost slamming it behind her as she left.

I fell to the stone floor on my knees, my hand to my neck and coughing. An excessive amount of adrenaline was coursing through my veins with no outlet and it almost paralyzed me.

I had no intention of trying to follow Fiona either. I could barely stand just yet and it seemed there was some blood on my neck as I looked at my fingers.

"Deric!"

Flashes of mine and Fiona's exchanges were going through my head and I remembered her speaking of how Deric had taken ill.

I knew that was not the truth now.

I jumped up and hurriedly tossed my clothes on that lay on the bed and ran out into the hallway, grabbing the nearest servant.

"Have you seen, Deric? He is missing!"

The elf looked at me in shock and it appeared he thought I was reprimanding him for something as he just apologized.

"No, no! I'm looking for Deric. A woman, an elven woman was in here... She must have..."

I trailed off, quickly losing my grip on my thoughts. Then I was rescued by a soldier who saw my outburst from down the hall.

"Ma'am? Is everything all right here?"

"No, there was an assassin and she..."

"An assassin? Where is she, ma'am? Did you see where she went?" the soldier asked frantically, glancing around our immediate area.

"Don't worry about her... she...She took one of the servants prisoner I think. He may be locked up somewhere in the estate... or killed. We need to search for Deric!"

"Immediately, ma'am!"

The soldier beside me whistled and was joined by another who was sent off with the information to begin a search and recruit help as needed.

"Are you all right, ma'am? You have a wound on your neck."

I nodded.

"Do not worry about me. We need to find Deric and make sure he's all right."

Minutes later one of my other elven helpers rushed over to me in the hallway.

"My lady, Deric has been found and he is well."

I let out a sigh of relief, grabbing hold of the elf's shoulders.

"Really? Oh thank the Gods! Can you take me to him?"

I followed the elf to the servants' quarters and we found Deric lying on the bed, one of Eamon's physicians standing over him.

"Deric! Are you all right?"

Deric gave me a feeble smile and he looked embarrassed for me to see him this way.

"Yes, my lady. I have just a small bump on my head."

Eamon's physician turned to me.

"Yes, a bit of ice and the swelling should go down. Other than that, just a few small bruises."

I offered the doctor a kind smile.

"Thank you."

After some last minute advice, the doctor left the room and I took Deric's hand, thankful no one else had been caught in the crossfire of these assassins that sought me. I already tired of standing at so many bedsides.

"I'm sorry, Deric. She was after me and she came through you."

Deric squeezed my hand.

"My lady, she did nothing more than bump me on the head and leave me tied up in a closet. That is hardly behavior worthy of an assassin but I am glad for it."

"Me too."

I stood beside Deric and did not know what else I could say other than apologizing again.

"Can I help with anything, Deric?"

Deric laughed softly as it seemed our roles had been reversed.

"No I am all right, my lady. Thank you for not forgetting about me."

"Of course I wouldn't. We are friends."

It felt a bit strange for those words to pass my lips so easily, but I felt they were true.

I stayed a few more minutes but left soon after, letting Deric get the rest he needed. I was just glad Fiona had not seriously hurt him.

I would have hunted her down this instant myself if she had.

And why had she not taken my life if she'd come all this way?

What was this 'test' she'd spoken of and said that I'd passed?

I had to wonder if it was some sort of minstrel's game, like in the stories Leliana had told me.

She used to tell me that she would intentionally mislead all those around or involved with her target, setting them at ease and to feel as if they were in no danger. When she finally struck and took a life, the real target had had no idea that she was even coming.

My eyes opened wide.

Leliana.

My breath stopped.

Perhaps I was not even the real target.

I moved quickly down the hallway and towards her room, sensing the worst.