AUTHORS NOTE: A lot happens in this chapter and it comes from a number of different perspectives which is deliberate – so I hope you can follow it.

At the beginning we touch on a subject which was prevalent in canon and which I mentioned very briefly at the very beginning of this story in chapter 13 and which will be discussed more in depth in a forthcoming chapter. For those of you who are not familiar with the Crossfire series, Eva's backstory is that she is a sexual abuse survivor (like Gideon). She was repeatedly raped from the age of 10 by her step brother, Nathan and at the age of 14 was made pregnant by him, and she miscarried the baby which was when the abuse came to light. The guilt of finding this out turned Monica into an over protective over bearing mother who stalked Eva, putting tracking devices in gifts she gave her.

The way this chapter ends is basically me just tying up loose ends and trying to show differing reactions to the death of secondary characters, people who have caused a substantial amount of pain and heartache albeit in the background.

CHAPTER 151

The next day…

(EVA)

"So, how are you going to do the session with Caroline, bearing in mind that she is based in Seattle and you guys are in New York?" Ana asks.

I peer into my laptop at my sister and grin. We are having our regular skype session. Gideon is sitting next to me but isn't involved in our call as he is busy with his own laptop doing some work but he has said hello to Ana and Christian has also just popped in to say hello but has now vanished again so it is just me and Ana once more. I have just told her about what my mother said to me at the restaurant and how Jared had overheard.

"Gideon has arranged for it to happen when we come to Seattle for the trial. While we are there, we will make time to go to Caroline to deal with this once and for all. Caroline has told us to let her know as soon as we have a trial date and she said she would work around it" I explain.

"And your mom is ok with that? As from what I know and have seen of Monica she is a bit defensive about this whole subject?" Ana asks.

I shrug, "You are right she is very defensive because she knows she has screwed up majorly and this time there isn't any valid excuse for her actions, so things really have deteriorated between us… they weren't good before but now… So, anyway If she's not happy about this then tough, I've told her it's happening, and that I'll let her know details when we get them. If she doesn't show up to come with us to Seattle then I'll know she isn't interested in sorting it all out. I've told Dad and he is all up for it. He said he wants to come to the trial to help support Jared so he is willing to participate with the session with Caroline and let mom know how he feels in a controlled environment as well while we are there. He really wants to do this as it has affected him as much as it has me, as he was lied to all my life and he always believed I was his. She knows dad will be there and I don't think she was very happy about that either, the thought of hearing how her misguided actions affected me will be bad enough but to hear it from my dad as well… I think it could easily go either way, not only for that reason but because there is a lot that I want to get off my chest and this is my opportunity to do so. It's not just this - although that is the biggie, I mean lying to someone about who they are and where they came from is massive, but there is still the underlying resentment I still have about her unacceptable stalking behaviour when I came back to live in New York before I met Gideon and how Richard enabled that behaviour with his resources".

"Has she agreed to come?" Ana asks and I nod.

"She has agreed in principle to it, but whined that she would sooner have the session here in New York with Dr Petersen – that's her shrink. I think that's because she knows she won't be able to get her own way with Caroline and she will make her face up to things so she tried to persuade me to sit with Dr Petersen instead. I refused, I wouldn't dream of sitting down with him as he… the trouble is he… how can I put this… he coddles her and doesn't make her face up to shit… most of the time he just tells her what she wants to hear… I mean when we had a joint session about her stalking he practically condoned her unacceptable behaviour towards me and made excuses for her but the moment he tried to make her see my side of it and try to get her to realise how I was entitled to my privacy she sulked like a child and he quickly backtracked and tried to pacify her to make her feel better… do you get what I'm saying?" I say.

Ana nods, "I get that, I mean I can see her side in a way after what you told me how things were after what happened with Nathan and how guilty she felt about it, but by that point you were an adult and she had no right to invade your privacy like that, and her shrink didn't point that fact out to her?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No, when he tried to she sulked and kept saying she was my mother so had the right to have the peace of mind of knowing where I was and what I was doing, and he just basically agreed with her. It didn't help matters that she was never really totally honest with him so he only ever got part of the story and he never really tried to push her".

Ana nods, "Christian had the same issue with John Flynn, not in quite the same way but he wasn't interested in really helping Christian, he just kept him going round in circles while he fleeced him and didn't really challenge him on anything. He also crossed the line between professional and friendship too many times. Since he's been with Caroline he is a different man".

"I know" I reply, "The way he deals with things now is the polar opposite to before, I'll never forget that meltdown he had that day when he found out about Arnie being his birth mom's brother".

Ana nods soberly again, "I think that was the turning point for him, when he discovered the truth, it made him re-evaluate everything in his life. Then he had that heart to heart with Carrick and he saw El making a fresh start by ridding himself of Kate and it all made him stop and think".

"Yeah, everyone has come a long way since that first meeting we had in Chicago. I mean look at us? There is El, he offloaded that bitch who was slowly draining his will to live and now he is really happy and is going to be a dad again. Then we have Megumi, who would've thought the visit to New York would have the effect it did on her life? Meeting El was the best thing that ever happened to her, and I still can't get over the fact Christian initially played the part of matchmaker the way he did! But El has done wonders for Meg and totally transformed her life because she couldn't bear to be near strange men and yet she really took to El".

Ana smiles, "Yeah I know, that one surprised me but you have to remember that Christian is very perceptive and he is so good at reading people, so he probably saw something in Meg which he realised would be good for El and vice versa".

I nod in agreement as I think about that before continuing, "Gideon is doing brilliantly with his therapy. That was a massive step for him considering his history with what that therapist did to him when he was a kid. But he is doing so well, his nightmares have practically vanished, and he is so close with Ireland and Christopher now it is wonderful to see, that wouldn't have happened had he not got close to and confided in Christian and gone with Christian's encouragement to seek help. He has a good relationship now with my dad as well, and he has become a father figure to him" I say as I glance at my husband with unconcealed pride, Gideon just looks up at me when he hears his name mentioned and gives me a slightly embarrassed smile before returning his attention back to his laptop. "And that's before we get on to everything she did and continues to do to help with Ryan Landon and all that shit surrounding Elizabeth" I add.

Ana smiles, "Then we have the entire Grey family who whilst to the outside world looked like the model all American family to which all should aspire to be like, but they were just as flawed as any other family. Grace has really turned it around and everyone is much healthier now since Caroline's intervention. Plus, El knows where he came from and feels as though he belongs now. Oh by the way did he tell you, he met Neil McDonald for the first time?" she says.

"No, who is that?" I ask although the name rings vague bells.

"Jen's ex-husband, he came to Seattle to visit Sadie and Lucy a few days before we flew out to New York for your birthday. He brought his son to visit and while he was here he met El and Meg".

"Oh right, yes I remember him… out of interest has anyone heard anything from Jen since the interview when it all came out about her and her fucking disgrace of a father?" I ask.

Ana shakes her head, "No, nothing. Still radio silence from her and David Greaves. If you remember David Greaves shut down his medical practice and vanished and so did Jen. Sadie and Lucy are still waiting for them to show up again, but as time goes on I think they are realising its not going to happen".

"Did you meet Neil McDonald?" I ask and Ana shakes her head.

"No, Christian was dealing with something at GEH which he wanted to sort out before he flew to New York and I was busy at Grey Publishing as we have the launch of a new novel coming up shortly but Neil understood and El said that he would be visiting again at some point… which reminds me… Christmas? When we first met we discussed that we should spend Christmas together, well Christian has been talking about it and he wants to host a huge family get together in Aspen. When I say everyone, I mean everyone… all the Ohio family, you guys along with your dad and Ireland and Christopher. He also wants Sadie and Lucy to be there and he even mentioned inviting Neil and his son so are you up for that?" Ana asks and I nod my head enthusiastically.

"Most definitely" I say firmly.

Ana grins at me, "Great I'll tell him. He is in full organisational mode about it. Our home in Aspen is big enough for immediate family, but everyone else will need a place to stay and he is looking to book all the suites at the big hotel in Aspen, which will need to be done soon" she says.

I glance at Gideon who is listening and immediately takes note of this.

"I own a hotel in Aspen, so I'll call Christian and liaise with him" he says.

"Did you hear that Ana?" I ask.

"I did, thanks Gideon!" she calls and I see my husband grin widely.

"No problem!" he calls back.

"Ana, what's wrong?" I say as I see Ana suddenly turn and look at something or someone to the side and her face immediately falls, I wait just watching and then she returns to me.

"Sorry Eva but I have to go" she says, "I'll call you later I think this is important" she adds.

"No problem" I reply and with that the link is lost.

"What was that about?" Gideon asks as he looks up once more and I shrug.

"I don't know, I'm sure we will find out though" I reply.

Meanwhile in Seattle…

(ANA)

"Christian? What's wrong?" I ask as I see Christian gripping his phone tightly, and his face is devoid of all colour.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your call baby but Welch has called, David Greaves has… turned up" he says.

My eyes widen, I can't believe we were only just talking about him.

"Oh my god – Sadie! He's not here is he? Is Sadie ok?" I ask.

Christian shakes his head, "No, no nothing like that Sadie is fine… David Greaves isn't though - he's dead" he says simply.

"Dead?" I gasp.

Christian nods, "Yeah, after he left Detroit and went off the radar Welch and Angus searched for him for Sadie's sake and we found him and have been quietly keeping tabs on him. He has been travelling from area to area, trying to find work but as he is known nationwide as an abuser and a sadist no hospital would touch him. He was living off of his savings and obviously with a finite amount of money he was starting to struggle. He went back to live in Detroit which set alarm bells ringing for Welch wondering what he was planning. He has been tracking him, when it seemed that David Greaves stopped going out and all little tell-tale signs of life seemed to suddenly stop. Welch knew where he was staying, he had apparently got a small apartment in Detroit and so he called law enforcement to do a welfare check on him. They broke in and found him in the bathroom… he'd hung himself. The officers contacted Welch as he had requested the welfare check. He was informed that there was a letter addressed to Sadie and Lucy. Welch told them to forward it to him as he was responsible for their safety, and he would make sure they received it and be notified of David's death. I've called El and he has gone to tell Sadie now".

"Oh" I say lamely.

(ELLIOT)

I am driving towards my birth mothers house with Meg at my side in total silence. I have no idea how I am going to do this, but after talking with Christian we both feel this news would be better coming from me rather than Geoff Welch or even Christian.

We pull up outside the little house and I turn off the engine and just stare at the front door.

"Hey, are you ok… don't overthink this" Meg says quietly as she reaches for me and grips my hand.

I turn and smile at her, my eyes fall to her increasingly noticeable bump and I reach across and stroke it.

"Thank you for doing this with me" I say and Meg squeezes my hand which is now resting on her bump.

"There was no question about it, I love you and so I would obviously come to help you do this… plus Sadie and Lucy are my friends… more than friends they are my family, and to be honest in a perverse way I think this will be received as good news to them".

I smile inwardly at that comment, Lucy and Meg are really close and along with Mia they spend a lot of time together and after what Kate did both Sadie and Lucy rallied round to help me take care of Meg, and they have helped her come to terms with the loss of our baby. I also know that Sadie has spent hours with Meg and to this day I have no idea what they talked about but that quiet care and love Sadie gave her was what Meg needed at that point. I also think Meg with her own fucked up past looks upon Sadie as a kind of surrogate mom, a role Sadie has been willing to take on. Lucy and Mia have been great and when I see the three of them together laughing and whispering it reminds me a little of the relationship between Ana and Eva.

"Come on let's get this over with" Meg coaxes and I nod and reluctantly pulling away from her I open the car door and climb out. I round the car and open Meg's door and holding my hand out to her I help her out of the car. She is nearly seven months pregnant now. Our baby is due towards the end of February and if I am honest I still worry that something bad is going to happen after we lost our little boy. I push those dark thoughts from my mind and concentrate on the positive, something Caroline taught me to do and I smile as I recall that this time last year I hadn't even met Meg and since I did things moved so fast between us despite our best efforts to take it slowly, but neither of us regret a thing, as everything felt so right between us.

I grip Meg's hand as we walk in silence to the door and knock.

A moment later Lucy opens the door and smiles widely at us, that smile fades as she looks closely at us. Meg releases my hand and pulls Lucy into a fierce hug which makes her even more anxious.

"What's happened? What's going on?" she asks and as she says this Sadie appears.

"Hello Elliot, Meg come on in" she says quietly.

We step inside and go into the comfortable sitting room and sit down.

"Where's Ava?" Sadie asks as she realises my daughter isn't with us.

"She's with Rachel at home" Meg says carefully.

"Sadie, Lucy we have something to tell you" I begin and I feel my hands ball into fists and Meg immediately places her hand over mine.

"It's about David" I begin and I hear Sadie gasp in fright at the mention of his name.

"What's happened? He's not coming here is he?" Lucy asks immediately as she wraps a protective arm around her mother.

I shake my head, "No, on the contrary, he isn't going to bother you ever again. Welch called Christian. It appears he has been keeping tabs on him, and he has just been informed that David is dead, he took his own life" I say.

A long silence spreads out between us and Meg clears her throat, "The police found him after Geoff requested a welfare check after David went awol".

"How?" Lucy asks calmly.

"He hung himself, they found him in the bathroom of his apartment in Detroit" she explains.

Sadie frowns, "Apartment?" she asks.

I nod, "Yeah he sold his house when it became apparent that he was finding it difficult to get a job, according to Welch he travelled around a significant area looking but nobody would touch him. He ended up back in Detroit and was renting an apartment there. Welch seemed to think he was running out of money which prompted him to take the course of action he did".

Sadie just nods, "Does it make me a bad person to not be upset by this news?" she asks after a few moments.

Meg shakes her head adamantly and Lucy and I say no in unison.

"After what that man put you through, he doesn't deserve a second thought from you" Meg says fiercely.

Sadie smiles at her and nods.

"What about you Luce?" I ask my sister and she shrugs.

"I don't feel anything, the closest I suppose is relief that he is no longer a threat lurking in the background" she says with an air of indifference.

I smile at her, "You should know, he left a letter addressed to you and Lucy, the Detroit police are passing it to Welch and so as soon as he gets it we will give it to you" I say.

Sadie looks at me, "When it arrives, I assume he will give it to you?" she asks.

I nod, "I would assume so, either me or Christian" I say.

Sadie nods, "Will you read it first? If it is something awful, I don't want to see it. He is dead and I don't want to read his hateful words so if he is having a final rant, I don't want to see it" she says.

Lucy nods in agreement, "I'm also happy with that El" she says.

Earlier that day in Detroit…

(JEN)

I watch from the doorway of my apartment and see the police activity around my father's apartment. I am curious, wondering what is going on. This hovel is the only place I can afford now after that bitch reporter caused all that trouble, I wish I'd never laid eyes on Kate fucking Kavanagh. I should never have believed her lies… then there was my fucking sister when she told the world about what my father did to my useless mother, it's her fault that I was painted as the villain. Not only her there is also Elliot fucking Grey… This is all Elliot Grey's fault, if he hadn't got in touch and I hadn't found that letter none of this would have happened. I would still be working as a police officer; I'd still be married and I'd still have total control over everyone and everything around me. But because of them I have lost that control and I feel rudderless. My eyes widen and I gasp as I stare at the gurney with the black body bag on top emerging from the apartment. I don't believe it! The weak bastard, after all the trouble he caused he is now dead, I hear the word 'suicide' and also someone says 'he hung himself'. I can't believe it, the spineless bastard! He did it he actually took the fucking cowards way out. I can't believe his threats were genuine and I also can't believe that he has taken away the final bit of pleasure I had in my life. I was overjoyed when I saw him moving in here. I had hidden enough and it was time for me to get my control over him back so I made myself known to him straight away and then I took great pleasure in my daily routine of tormenting him since he moved in here. I needed to show him I was not scared of him or his threats. He wasn't such the big man anymore, especially when I broke in while he was sleeping and tied him to his bed. I pause and smile at the memory of how shocked he had been when he had awoken unable to move. I'd found the leather belt he had previously used on my mother and given him a taste of it to let him know I wasn't scared of him and teach him a lesson about threatening me. How dare he threaten to kill me when it all came out about him, he brought it all on himself by his own actions. I didn't force him to beat my useless mother black and blue. What the hell am I going to do now? I have absolutely nothing now. I am totally alone, unwanted and it's all his fault with his sadistic behaviour. I feel my resentment rising and anger building at how unfair all this is. My dad is to blame, my sister, my mother, the Grey's they have all played their part in my misery. Neil as well. I am still astounded at the way he grew a pair and stood up to me, something he had never done before… that was a shock that was the biggest shock of all and a part of me is secretly impressed as I never expected him to do it but how dare he, how dare he do that to me?

I am lost in my thoughts as I put my coat on and leave the apartment block, I use the stairwell so that I'm not seen. I know those officers and they all bear a grudge against me and are looking to pin anything on me so the fact my father was living in the same apartment block will get them putting two and two together and coming up with five and I won't be made the scapegoat for his cowardice. Thoughts bombard me and the hatred I feel towards everyone who has caused the situation I am now in consumes me. My mind flies from one person to the next. How can I get my control back? How can I get back what I have lost? I realise I am now out on the busy street and I start to walk as I am bombarded with thoughts….

( 'BEEP' )

I hear the car horn and then suddenly I feel tremendous pain and am pulled from my thoughts as I realise I am on the road, face down… movement… people… activity… why is everything blurry and why does it have a red tint? Now there is greyness, it seeps into my decreasing vision it looks like I'm looking down a tunnel as my vision gets worse… the pain… I try and fight it. I hear voices and I try to listen and try to say something but nothing seems to work….

"She just stepped out into the road; she didn't even look… I couldn't avoid her…"

"We saw it, she was talking to herself… are you ok?"

"Is she…?"

"Has someone called a paramedic?"

"…very weak pulse if someone doesn't arrive soon, she won't make it".

I try to make sense of the voices, which are slowly fading and getting quieter as the pain consumes every part of me…

(NEIL)

"Thanks for doing that mom, but you didn't have to" I say gratefully as I look around my now spotless kitchen, a kitchen which also has some glorious aromas coming from the oven.

"It was my pleasure Neil, you know I like to keep busy. Trey is asleep so I just took the opportunity to get it done".

"Thanks for taking care of him" I add.

My mother wraps her arms around me, "You had to work, Trey was sick so I stepped in. That is what moms are for, we step in and we help out" she says.

"Not all mothers" I say bitterly. Since the day I threw Jen out I've not heard a thing from her. I divorced her and she tried playing games to begin with but she signed the papers. She has visitation rights to Trey, I couldn't prevent that despite trying but I managed to only get the bare minimum for her and I insisted on supervised. If she wants to see him she has to see him with someone else there but she hasn't bothered with him since the day she signed the papers. Not that I'm bothered as I am glad to get her out of our lives. Trey is a different child now, his mothers overbearing controlling nature stifled him. He was afraid to be a child in case he incurred her wrath, but now he is so… happy. I think of how he played so nicely with Elliot's little girl when we visited Seattle. He was so happy to see Sadie and Lucy again. I feel so bad that they see so little of him now, that could change though but I need to talk to my mom about the developments which have been dropped on me today at work.

"I need to discuss something with you" I say as I pull away from my moms hug.

"Oh?" she says.

I nod, "Yeah, my boss… he is relocating the company. He has a branch in Seattle and with things the way they are, that one is more profitable than Detroit so he has said he's shutting Detroit and moving the company to Seattle. There isn't many of us, but he has assured us that whoever decides to relocate, their jobs will be secure".

My mom sits down, "Oh, I see" she says.

I sit down beside her, "Yeah so obviously I need to do what's right by Trey, plus we now have family in Seattle… he loved visiting Sadie and Lucy. We also met Elliot Grey and he has a little girl, she is a bit younger than Trey but they got on really well… but I don't want to leave you and dad, especially after everything you have done for us since Jen went". I stop and wait for her response.

My mom nods, and after taking a deep breath she places her hand on top of mine, "You need to follow your gut. You need to do what is right for you and Trey" she says stoically.

I lick my lips, "Would you and dad consider coming with me? I'm certain you would get on with Sadie and Lucy".

My mom thinks about that, "Let me talk to your father, it's a big decision to make, but I would like to get to know Sadie better… I always felt so guilty that I didn't make more of an effort to get to know her… especially considering what we now know" she says.

I nod, "She was totally controlled by David Greaves, she wasn't allowed to do anything or go anywhere" I say sadly.

My mom pats my hand again, "Let me talk to your father" she repeats.

I smile, "Ok thanks mom" I reply.

I turn as I hear a knock on the door.

"Are you expecting anyone?" mom asks and I shake my head.

"No" I reply and I stand and make my way to the front door, I peer through the peephole and am surprised to see two police officers standing there and I quickly open the door.

"Hello, Can I help you?" I ask politely.

The two officers have grim expressions, "Neil McDonald?" one asks and I nod.

"Yes that's me" I reply.

"May we come in?" the other one says.

I step aside and wave my hand to invite the two men into my home. I lead them through into the kitchen where my mother stands as she sees them.

"Good afternoon ma'am" the officers both say and my mother gives them a quiet hello.

"This is my mother" I explain by way of introduction and the two officers both nod before giving me their complete attention.

"I am sorry to inform you sir, but your erm… wife – Jennifer Greaves McDonald has been involved in an accident" one says.

"Ex-wife" I quickly correct him.

The officer nods and I realise he is aware of this fact, "Sorry sir, but you are still named as her next of kin" he explains.

The other officer takes up the story, "Jennifer Greaves McDonald was involved in a car accident today. It appears that she was somewhat distracted and simply walked out into the road in front of a car… we have several eye witness accounts that the driver didn't stand a chance of avoiding her and street cameras have corroborated those accounts".

I nod, "Is she seriously hurt?" I ask as an odd feeling of foreboding flows through me.

"I'm sorry to have to inform you sir, but she died at the scene" the officer says.

My mother gasps and sits down with a thud, I however am feeling oddly unmoved by this… I just feel… numb. Am I as cold and unfeeling as my ex-wife? I move towards my mom and wrap my arm around her.

"Thank you for telling me" I mumble as I try and make sense of this.

"We are sorry for your loss" the officers say politely before they take their leave.

"You need to tell Sadie" mom says looking up at me and I nod, quickly pulling myself together.

"Yes… yes I'll give her a call" I say.

(ELLIOT)

"So, if you're sure you are ok?" I say and Sadie smiles at me.

"I am… I am relieved… I know that is awful to say but I finally feel… free" she says simply.

I swallow hard at her words, she is such a good person that she feels she doesn't have the right to be happy that the man who caused her so much misery is now dead. I wrap my arms around her and pull her into a hug.

"You have every right to feel that way" I whisper in her ear, I hesitate a moment and then lower my voice slightly, "…and if you ever feel you don't all you have to do is look at the scars all over your body to remind you" I add.

I feel her stiffen slightly and I just hold her even tighter.

"You're right" she says after a moment, then she looks up at me and touches my cheek, "Thank you Elliot" she says gratefully.

As I go to reply the phone starts to ring and Lucy walks over to answer it.

"Hello" she says as she picks it up.

I see a massive smile fill her face, "Hi Neil!" she says brightly, but that smile fades and Lucy starts to tremble and sits down with a thud.

"When? How?" she says, I watch and I see her shaking her head.

"I don't believe it… we have just been told my dad is also dead" she says. "Yes Elliot is here, the security guy who works for Christian was keeping tabs on dad and the police in Detroit told him" she explains.

I continue to watch the one-sided conversation and I see Sadie is watching her daughter carefully too.

"Ok thank you for telling us… I'll tell mom" Lucy says as she takes a deep breath and glances over towards us.

"Thanks Neil, bye" she says and replaces the receiver on to the base. She just stands there almost lost in her own thoughts before she turns towards us.

"Mom, that was Neil… it's Jen… she's dead, she was killed in a car accident… apparently she just walked out into the road in front of a car and was hit" she says.

I feel Sadie sag in my arms and it is only my hold on her that stops her falling to the ground.

An awful guttural wail escapes her and she turns and buries her head into my chest. I have no idea what to do, so I just hold her as she sobs in my arms.