Blurred Lines
Disclaimer: Maria-sama ga Miteru and its characters are not mine.
Moving On
"I'm sorry Youko-sama, but I don't have anything to discuss with Ogasawara-sama."
Sachiko panicked.
"I know about Ayane-san." She blurted out. She had not planned on mentioning it, but had no choice seeing as Yumi is about leave.
"Ayane-chan… How?"
Her words had the effect she had wanted as the anger from those usually gentle hazel eyes had disappeared, and instead was replaced by worry.
"Why does the 'how' matter to you? Shouldn't I be the one asking 'why' you had to resort to that tactic?"
"Ok, let me cut you here ladies." Finally, Mizuno Youko stepped in. Sei and Yoshino had their mouths hanging open as if watching a soap opera, the events unfolding much too interesting for them to say anything let alone interrupt the drama they were witnessing.
"We should probably take this somewhere." The older red rose said, looking from Yumi to Sachiko. "Our place would be good, if Yumi-chan is amenable to it."
"Your place?" Yumi asked, the shock from Sachiko's words still apparent on her face.
"Yes, the one I share with Sei."
"Maybe my place is better." Yoshino volunteered. "Mom's out with auntie so we have the house to ourselves. Yumi-san will be more comfortable there. Even if she purposefully failed to share this not so little bit of information about Sachiko-sama with me, I would like her to be at ease since this seems to be a difficult topic for her. I care about her, because you know…we are supposed to be best friends."
Yumi eyed her friend warily and uttered 'thanks'.
"I am good with that." The former white rose chimed in despite the fact that no one asked her, "We can take Sachiko's car there." Sei added as if settling the matter. "You have any issues with that, Sachiko?"
"No, that is fine. My car is parked nearby."
- - o 0 o - -
Sachiko could not focus on driving. From time to time, she would steal a glance at Yumi who was seated behind the passenger seat.
She knew it was an underhanded tactic to use her 'ace'. She had been careful not to divulge too much, after all, she didn't want Yumi to think that she was using her network and her influence to do a background check on her. And technically speaking, it was not her but her cousin who obtained the information about Sasaki's relationship with that Ayane. How Suguru-san knew about it, even Sachiko didn't know and she chose not to press further.
"Focus, Sachiko." Youko-sama said, apparently noticing her inattentiveness.
"Yumi-chan is not going anywhere." Sei-sama teased.
Sachiko ignored the comment and pressed the gas when the stop light turned green. Yoshino-chan's place was not far and she hoped the silence lasts until after they reach their destination. They clearly have a lot of questions, so she was somewhat relieved that their friends were controlling themselves.
Her relief, however, had been short-lived…
"So, how did you two meet? I know that we should be leaving you two alone with your thoughts, but I just want to know how long Yumi-san has been keeping secrets from her best friend."
Sachiko was surprised that Yumi had not told Yoshino. Somehow, she had mixed feelings about it.
Yoshino soon got impatient, "Should I repeat my question?"
Sachiko would have wanted to answer for them, but because she was curious as to how Yumi would answer, she held her tongue. She glanced once again at the back to see the other woman's expression, to her surprise, their eyes met. She quickly averted her gaze, realizing just now that she had probably been caught staring earlier and that Yumi was just pretending to be looking out the window.
"We – " Yumi began a little hesitantly, "we met at Manabe-kun's wedding."
"How?" This time, it was Youko who asked the question.
"Who, Eriko's?"
"Yes. She saved me when a couple of guys tried to take advantage of me."
"Sachiko? How? With her glare?" Sei snorted.
"Something like that…" Yumi trailed. Unknown to anyone, the conversation was somewhat making Yumi uncomfortable because it will surely lead Yoshino-san to figure out what happened after.
And couldn't be more right…
"Wait!" Yoshino's eyes widened. "Is she the stranger who drove you home?!"
Yumi chose not to respond… she didn't have to because soon enough, Yoshino-san turned to look at her and started pointing an accusing finger at her.
"And you never told me!" her friend shrieked.
"I…well…" Yumi fumbled for words.
"What's going on?" Sei asked, surprised by the sudden outburst.
"I've asked about that stranger a hundred times, but you never told me!"
"Calm down, Yoshino-chan. Yumi-chan must have a reason." Youko said in an attempt to calm down the former yellow rose.
"Why, what did they do? What didn't Yumi-chan tell you?" Sei-sama inquired again.
"I thought you never met her again? You even told me that you forgot about her."
"Forgot? What did Yumi say about me, exactly?" Sachiko jumped into the conversation.
"Sachiko…" Yumi whined. She was hoping she would be helped, but instead, the heiress joined in ganging up against her.
"See! You are even so comfortable addressing each other by name."
"Will somebody just tell me what the f* Sachiko and Yumi did?!" Sei shouted, angry that she had been ignored repeatedly.
"For the love of Maria-sama, Sei, can't you read between the lines?" Youko's voice sounded exasperated, "It was just said that Sachiko drove Yumi home, what do you think they did after that that made Yoshino-san act like a meddling mother?"
Sei furrowed her brow in deep thought, but before she came to any conclusion, the car jerked forward and she almost hit her head when the car came to a sudden stop. Sachiko hit the breaks hard,
"We are here." she announced in a clipped tone before adding - "And in case you haven't figured it out, I slept with Yumi."
The response was effective in shutting up the former white rose.
- - o 0 o - -
I'm sorry for not telling you about Sachiko sooner." Yumi whispered. "I didn't mean to hide it from you it's just that…"
"You didn't trust me enough." Yoshino said in a mildly accusing tone, trying to keep her voice hushed so as the others in the living room wouldn't hear them.
The two were alone in the kitchen in the guise of getting refreshments. Yumi was quick on the uptake that her friend just wanted to have a moment with her before the heiress snatched her away.
"It's not that." Yumi sighed, "I – just thought it was a temporary thing, that I'd tell you about her once I am able to move on from…from whatever this is I am feeling towards her."
Yoshino met her eyes, "you love her. There seems to be no confusion. And with how Sachiko-sama was behaving earlier, it was apparent she feels the same. So, what seems to be the problem?"
"Me." Yumi said sadly, "I'm the problem because I don't want to feel this way. But I just can't help it… I wanted to stop loving her."
Yumi felt her heart constricting, so she pressed a hand on her chest, reminding herself to breathe and calm down, otherwise tears would leak from her eyes. "She is an Ogasawara. She has an image and reputation to protect, not to mention everyone's expectations of her to be perfect…I can't be the one who will destroy all of those. I don't want to drag her down."
Yoshino gazed at her pitifully, knowing well these self-sacrificing and self-deprecating tendencies of hers. "It's not that I don't understand what you are saying, but isn't it that you are overthinking? What if Sachiko-sama wants to be with you despite all those societal expectations? What if she is willing to fight for you? I haven't seen her so desperate to let her usual façade slip."
"I don't know… What if her family finds out? Will she defend our relationship or will she leave me? What if word gets out in the public and her reputation is ruined? Will she be able to handle it or eventually decide it's best for us to separate? I do not want to cause trouble for her and I don't want it to come to the point when she has to choose between me and her obligations. So while no damage has been done yet, I want to move past these feelings. But it was harder than I thought."
"You could have told me…"
Yumi smiled sheepishly, "I realized that now. I should have asked for your help rather than Ren-san's."
"And who is this Ayane?"
Yumi gently placed the tea cups on a wooden tray before turning to face her friend again, "that's the other problem. I had been so desperate to forget about her that I agreed to be in a fake relationship with Ren-san. He is also trying to get over his previous lover so we decided to help each other out."
"What?!" Yoshino shouted.
Yumi immediately covered her friend's mouth with her hand, "Not so loud. I will explain everything to Sachiko, but it's embarrassing for Sei-sama and Youko-sama to find out."
Her hand however was pushed away, though her friend toned down her voice "I never knew you would resort to this!"
"I knew it was wrong," Yumi admitted, "but what was I to do? I knew we couldn't be together, but this crazy heart just won't cooperate?"
"Hey, you are taking ages." Sei-sama peaked into the kitchen, "we know you are talking about Sachiko and Yumi-chan's relationship, or whatever it is they have." She then directed her gray eyes at Yoshino, "but the reason why we are here is because Sachiko wanted to corner Yumi into a conversation."
"I heard that, Sei-sama."
Sei looked back and gave a cheeky grin to the heiress, "that was intentional." Then she met Yumi's eyes, "save your stories for later because Youko and I want to hear them too. It is a miracle that Sachiko has fallen in love with someone, let alone allowed anyone to bed her. Oh how I want to hear that story."
"Sei!" her partner said in a warning tone.
"Admit it Youko, you want to hear about it too!" Sei defended.
Soon enough, Youko marched towards the kitchen as well, "to cut the story short, Yumi-chan, Sachiko couldn't sit still while waiting for you. Yoshino-chan can bite your head off for keeping this a secret from her later. I am guessing she'd want you to stay over so you can gossip about Sachiko later."
"Wouldn't that be a problem?"
All eyes turned to Sei.
"Sachiko would very much want that as well, to stay with Yumi tonight."
"Okay, enough." Sachiko finally joined them, "I can hear you all talking about me loud and clear. And yes, Sei-sama, I know that was intentional too."
- - o 0 o - -
Yumi headed upstairs a moment after Sachiko did and just after getting an encouraging embrace from her best friend. She found Sachiko standing by the window farthest to the door. The other woman turned to face her, probably upon hearing the door creaking.
"It is not impossible for them to want to eavesdrop." She responded, as if reading the question in Yumi's mind.
"Indeed." She responded with a smile before walking over. It seemed like ages since they got the chance to have a conversation such as this.
"I'm sorry I had to corner you into this conversation. You must really hate me after everything I did." Sachiko began. And Yumi would have confirmed that if it weren't for the exchanges and bantering that happened with their friends earlier which had been effective in changing her mood. Not to mention, the shock of finding out Sachiko knows about Ren and Ayane-chan.
"It was effective though." Yumi stared out the window, but was conscious of the fact that they were almost shoulder to shoulder. "Since when do you know about…"
"…your lie?" Sachiko supplied.
She flinched at the word,
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be." That response made her turn to meet the other woman's gaze. "After all, it just meant that you really don't want to be with me. It was my fault, for always teasing you, for thinking we could be more…"
There was hurt etched in those azure eyes,
"It's not that I don't f-feel the same way you do…" She reasoned. Yumi realized that Sachiko would have known from the very beginning that Yumi harbored feelings which were beyond friendship, otherwise, she wouldn't have acted the way she did when they were alone.
Sachiko averted her gaze, "but none of that matters…after all, how we feel is not the problem, but the fact that you chose not to be with me. I understand your reasons. It's just that…"
The older woman stopped and took a deep breath before she continued. It was her next words were too painful for her to utter, "... I wish you gave us a chance. I hope you had more faith in me, that I will fight for us despite how difficult it will surely be."
Yumi couldn't find the right response, each word feeling like a knife cutting through her heart.
"There will definitely be those who will judge us, but trust me when I say – " Sachiko paused and placed both her hands on the window ledge as if looking for support, "the pain I will feel then is nothing in comparison to what I am feeling now. It is better to suffer and have you by my side than feel this pain alone."
Yumi pressed her hands together and bit her lip. While she had been very firm about her decision, strongly believing she made the right choice, Sachiko's words were instilling her with doubt. At that moment, she wanted to pull Sachiko into an embrace, to express in actions what she couldn't in words. But somehow she remained frozen as her mind reeled with what she should do or say.
However, before she found an answer...
"You don't need to worry, I will not pursue you any longer. I respect your decision."
Yumi's heart suddenly plummeted.
She's letting me go?
She would not admit it to anyone – let alone herself – but she had hoped Sachiko would ask her again to be with her. That admission literally crushed her heart.
"What do you mean? You'll forget about me?" The words unconsciously spilled out of her lips.
"How could I, silly?" A stray lock was tucked behind her left ear. "I couldn't, even if I tried. But I will try to move on, that's why you had that agreement with Sasaki, right? Because you wanted to move on from me as well."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lie…"
"I know that you find it hard to lie," Sachiko said with a sad smile, "and the fact that you did speak volumes about how much you wanted to get over me."
"I'm sorry."
That was all she could do, apologize…bow her head in shame and wallow in her guilt. There was no explanation to give, no excuse that will make her actions right.
"But at least, even if we are to part ways, I want us to be on good terms. Having to deal with this heartache is one thing, but I don't think I can bear the thought of you hating me."
"..."
"Yumi? If you're still angry I will understand, but please tell me what I need to do to earn your forgiveness." Her silence seemed to have made the other woman think she was still angry...but truth be told, she was not...at least not anymore. That emotion somehow got lost since they left the cafe and as their conversation progressed.
"...It's ok now…" Yumi mumbled. The expectant gaze directed at her forced her to give a response.
"Is it?" Sachiko reconfirmed with delight in her eyes, "I'm glad." She laid both her hands on Yumi's shoulders, "I promise I will not bother you anymore."
It's ok for you to bother me. Yumi thought bitterly.
"I have submitted my request to be reassigned to another branch or project and father has agreed."
"Y-you're leaving?"
Sachiko nodded her head, "So please pull out your resignation letter. The company needs you. Just bear with me for a while until my replacement arrives."
Yumi stepped back, away from Sachiko's warm hands that were giving her a false sense of warmth. Because in contrast to those kind gestures of hers, Sachiko will be leaving her, will strive to move on and will eventually get over her. The saddest part is...she couldn't get angry because she knew she brought this upon herself.
She could beg Sachiko to stay...but that would be contrary to what she had wanted from the very beginning.
"I see…then this is goodbye?" Yumi said wanting to get out of the room, to run away from Sachiko so she can cry her heart out. But she didn't know what to do or how to end the conversion. In the end she decided to extend her hand.
"Seriously?" Sachiko said with a raised eyebrow, "After everything we've been through you are offering me a handshake?"
Yumi withdrew her hand, "w-w-what do you want then?"
Sachiko suddenly pressed her lips, her azure eyes slightly darkening as a fleeting thought seemed to have crossed her mind. She immediately turned away from Yumi, but not after a visible tint colored her cheeks.
"Sachiko?" she asked somewhat worried at her reaction.
It took a few more seconds, before she faced her again with a response, "just a confirmation that if we are to ever meet again - since we have common friends - that you will choose not to avoid me."
Yumi looked at her quizzically. She was sure there was something else the older woman wanted to say, but she seemed to have changed her mind at the last second.
"A-are you sure? That's all?"
Sachiko's lips quivered to a smile. "Were you expecting something else?"
To which, she responded with a gentle shake of the head...though her thoughts were the exact opposite.
Of course I am! After everything we've been through!
But since she didn't have the confidence to voice it out, she tried to bring the conversation back and responded, "Ok, I promise."
"That you will treat me – at least – as a friend if we are to see each other."
Friend?
That stung, but still she nodded her head 'yes'.
A/N: Hello hello! It's been ages! Thank you to all who continue to support me and my stories. Sachiko and Yumi still runs in my mind , especially their characters in Blood and Blurred Lines. Still pushing to finish this fic. Wish me luck!