Chapter 11: Nap Time Bonding

Maura: June, Present Day

Maura's parents had left a little over half an hour ago. Sophie and Harper were now napping together in Harper's bed, and Emma and Finn were having quiet reading time in their own room. When Maura stepped out of Sophie and Harper's room, Jane had been in her own bedroom with the door slightly ajar. Maura wasn't sure if Jane wanted Maura to join her or if she wanted some alone time.

Maura had awkwardly hesitated in the hallway before deciding to give Jane some time to herself. Her friend hadn't really had a moment to herself over the past two days, and even though Jane never complained, Maura felt guilty about this. So now Maura was alone in the guest room, which she supposed was technically her room. She decided she needed to make a plan for the things she still needed to do now that she was back in Boston to make sure that there were no issues with her or Sophie's legal identities. Maura called her lawyer's office, who was now technically Jane's lawyer. Luckily, since they retained a high-price, comprehensive legal firm, not only was she able to talk to someone on a Sunday, but she was able to get an appointment for the next day.

Once the appointment was set, she made a list of topics that she wanted to address with the lawyer. However, all of that had only taken about 30 minutes, and now she was having a hard time not going to find Jane. She found it somewhat odd that she had survived seven years without Jane – albeit barely – but she was now struggling to spend seven minutes away from Jane. In the end, she decided to give up. Hopefully, Jane would just be honest with her if she wanted some more time alone. She walked down the hall and gently knocked on Jane's door, which was still ajar.

"You can come in," Jane said.

Maura stepped inside, closing the door behind her. "Are you okay?" Maura asked, concerned. Jane was just sitting on the foot of the bed.

"Yeah," Jane said with a laugh. "I just showered, and I literally just finished putting on my socks when you knocked, which is why I'm weirdly sitting here looking like I'm doing nothing."

Maura smiled. "Oh, okay," she said quickly. "I can go and let you finish what you were doing, or if you just want to be alone…" Maura started to put her hand on the doorknob to leave the room, but Jane stopped her.

"No, stay," Jane said. "I was just going to come find you anyway. I wanted to see how you were doing after this morning."

"I'm alright," Maura said honestly. "Everything is still overwhelming, but I don't think I could have asked for it to go better."

Jane nodded. "Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you still have a lot of feelings about it and your parents, but I thought it went well considering everything," she said. "Do you want to go downstairs?" Jane asked as she stood up from the bed.

"Sure," Maura said with a smile. Jane followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"I'm going to have more coffee," Jane said once they were in the kitchen. "Do you want something? Coffee? Tea? Water? Wine?"

"I'll have tea," Maura said. "I've probably had enough coffee, and I think it's a bit early to start drinking wine."

Jane laughed but filled the teapot and set it on the stove. "So, ma will be here around 3pm," Jane said as they waited for their drinks, "and everyone else will get here around 4pm. Are you nervous?" Jane asked as she raised her head to look at Maura.

"Yes, but not as nervous as I have been," Maura said honestly. "At this point, I no longer expect seeing anyone again to go poorly; it's more just the unknown that makes me nervous."

"Well, we both know ma is going to lose her mind," Jane said with a chuckle. "But, no, yeah, you're right. It's not going to be bad…maybe just emotional."

Maura nodded as Jane handed her the cup of tea. "Thank you," she murmured.

"Let's sit on the couch," Jane offered as she walked around the kitchen island with her coffee. Maura followed her to the living room, where they took up their usual positions on the couch. Maura slipped off her heels and tucked her feet underneath her so that she was facing Jane on the couch. Jane stretched out her legs towards Maura and crossed her ankles. Her feet weren't touching Maura, but they were close enough that Maura could easily reach out and touch her if she wanted to.

"I made an appointment with the lawyer for tomorrow," Maura told Jane.

"Oh, that's good," Jane said. "Right? That's a good thing, right?" she added with a laugh.

"Yes, it's a good thing," Maura replied.

"Right, okay, good."

"Like I said yesterday, I am officially Maura Isles again, now, but there are still some things I need to get in order. I want to go through the lawyer to make sure that everything is done correctly the first time. I don't want any issues with my identity or Sophie's identity," Maura explained. "Technically, you're paying for the lawyer, right now, so I just wanted to make sure that was okay with you."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Okay, that's a stupid question," she said. "Of course, it's okay, and please stop saying that or asking that. We agreed to figure out the money thing later. We both want to work through the important things first, which includes making sure your legal stuff is correct."

Maura nodded. "Okay, thank you. I'll let it go for now, but I'm still not willing to let it go completely," Maura said. "But I agree that other things are more important right now."

"Do…do you, um…do you want me to come with you?" Jane asked nervously.

"What is your work schedule like, this week?" Maura asked. "Are you…honestly, I don't know what to ask because I don't know what rank you are now…" Maura laughed nervously at the realization.

"Oh, um, I'm not a cop anymore," Jane said, and Maura's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize…"

Jane shook her head. "No, it was my choice," Jane assured her. "I'll fill you in on all that in a minute, but let's figure out your appointment for tomorrow first. I don't work this week, so I can do whatever you need me to or be wherever you need me to be."

"Okay, thank you," Maura said slowly.

"It's okay if you don't want me there," Jane said quickly, misinterpreting Maura's hesitation.

"No, it's not that," Maura said. "I…well, if it were just the two of us, I would like to have you there, but would you be willing to watch Sophie? I really don't want her there, and I hadn't figured out what I was going to do about that yet. I don't want her to hear all the details. I know that she would be safe with your mom or my mom, but…"

"I can watch her – although, saying 'watch her' feels like it implies babysitting, which I don't really consider taking care of Sophie as babysitting. Anyway, she can stay with me."

Maura laughed. "Thank you," she said. "It's not that I don't trust our mothers or even other family members to watch Sophie, I'm just not sure she's ready for that. She didn't say a word to my parents this morning, and honestly, I was okay with that. This is all a lot of change for her. At this point, I don't expect her to bond immediately with every family member. I'm beyond happy that she's started to bond with you and with her sisters. I expect tonight to go about the same as this morning though. If she makes it through the entire dinner without having a meltdown, I'll be happy – and slightly surprised. She never had babysitters or stayed with anyone other than me and her daycare in Utah, so leaving her with someone she barely knows seems like a bad idea."

"She doesn't know me well either, though," Jane said. "I'm still happy to have her stay with me, but I just…"

"I know, but she's pretty comfortable with you already. She knew who you were before we got here. While she had heard about most of the family, we definitely talked about you the most," Maura said, blushing. "Anyway, more importantly, she's been interacting with you and the girls comfortably since yesterday, and I think being with you will be better than hearing upsetting things in the lawyer's office."

Jane nodded. "Are there more upsetting things that…I don't know how to ask this…" Jane said.

"Sorry, no, I didn't mean to imply that," Maura assured her. "I'm sure there are things we will learn about each other from the past seven years that will be upsetting in one way or another, but that's not what I meant. Sophie doesn't know that we were in the witness protection program. She doesn't know about the differing identities. I don't think she's old enough to understand all of that yet. There's nothing I plan to talk to the lawyer about tomorrow that you don't know, and if something comes up that I haven't told you already, I will tell you the next time we're alone together."

"You don't have to…" Jane started.

"I want to," Maura interrupted her. "I don't want to have any secrets from you. I want…I want you to know who I am."

"I want that too," Jane said. "I mean, both ways…I don't want to have secrets from you either."

"Good," Maura said, reaching out and giving Jane's ankle a gentle squeeze.

"Emma, Finn, and Harper all have school tomorrow, so it'd just be me and Soph," Jane said. "Oh, okay, I just had a thought. Not for tomorrow, but I don't know if you've thought about preschool for Sophie for next year. I mean, I don't know when you would have had time, but also it's you, so…"

Maura laughed. "I have not researched any schools for Sophie yet," she confirmed.

"Ok, well, obviously, you don't have to send her to the same school as Harper, but I do know that her preschool has a shadowing program for potential new students. So, if you think you might want to at least consider Harper's school for Sophie, maybe she should try the shadowing. The thing is, this is Harper's last week, and she only goes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. We'd have to ask, so tomorrow's not an option; plus, that might be a little much for Sophie. But if you wanted to try it, I could ask Harper's teacher tomorrow, and then, maybe if Sophie's okay with it, she could go to school with Harper on Wednesday and/or Friday?"

"I definitely want to consider Harper's school for Sophie," Maura said. "And I love the idea that she could at least try it. If you don't mind asking tomorrow, that would be great. I'd still like to ask Sophie. If she really doesn't want to go, then I don't think I want to make her at this point. She loves Harper, though, so I would suspect the idea of going to school with Harper will be very exciting for her."

"Okay, let's not say anything to them until I talk to Harper's teacher tomorrow," Jane said. "I don't want to get their hopes up just in case it's not an option for whatever reason. Sophie can still say no after that."

"I agree," Maura said. "And as for next year, I do want to do some research on options, but unless there's a really good reason not to, I'd like to send Sophie to the same place as Harper. Besides, I'm guessing you didn't just send them to a random school you picked out of a hat."

Jane laughed. "No, I did do research. Although, I will admit, I did the research back when I was choosing for Emma and Finn. I didn't do, like, a new search when Harper was that age."

"If you were already happy with the school, that makes sense."

Jane nodded. "Yeah, so Harper goes to the same preschool that Emma and Finn went to, but they don't go the same school now," Jane said. "I chose a different school for K through 8 now that Emma and Finn are in kindergarten, and I plan for Harper to go there too when she starts kindergarten. We have time to figure that part out though. Oh, also, while this is Harper's last week of school, Emma and Finn go through next Wednesday."

"Okay," Maura said. "And you don't work for BPD anymore, or are you just not a detective?"

"I don't work for BPD anymore," Jane said. "So, I actually quit the day I got the call from the hospital about Emma and Finn. I…"

"Jane! No!" Maura said, alarmed. "I didn't…No! I never wanted to ruin your career!"

Jane's eyes widened in shock at Maura's reaction. She quickly sat up and placed her empty coffee mug on the coffee table before she shifted closer to Maura. She took Maura's tea from her hands and put it on the table as well. She folded her legs in front of her and took Maura's hands in her own. "No!" she said firmly. "You did not ruin my career, and Emma and Finn did not ruin my career, okay?"

Jane waited for Maura's acknowledgement, which she received in the form of a nod. Still, Maura was having a hard time containing the emotional reaction that she was having to Jane's news. She knew that her decision to leave the girls with Jane would significantly change Jane's life, but she also knew how important being a detective was to Jane. Being a cop was Jane's identity. She never wanted to take that away from her.

"Maura, please relax," Jane said. "First of all, Emma and Finn are one of the best things to ever happen to me – and that is true regardless of how I had to change my life. But second, it was my choice to quit. No one made me quit. I could have taken the standard maternity leave and then gone back to being a detective. I also could have taken another job with BPD had I wanted to stay but get out of the field. It was my choice to leave. Since finances weren't an issue, I decided that I wanted to parent the way I wanted to, the way I thought was best for my family. Once I laid eyes on those little girls, I wasn't willing to continue risking my life. I wanted to do everything I could to be there for them, to see them grow up."

Maura nodded. She released Jane's hands so that she could wipe away the tears that had managed to escape as she listened to Jane.

Jane allowed her hands to drop back to her lap as she continued, "It was my choice, Maura, and I don't regret it for a second. I never have. I actually stayed home with them full-time for the first year – well, not quite a year. Nine months, I guess. I went back to work part-time with the Boston Police Academy the following January. Ma watched them while I worked until they were two and a half, which is when I had Harper. I had been really happy being at home when Emma and Finn were babies, so I decided to leave work again. I stayed home with all three of them for a year. That next fall, Emma and Finn started preschool three days a week, and I enrolled Harper in daycare for those same three days. Again, I went back to work part-time, except this time I got a job as a resource officer with the school district. That way, I generally had the same days off as the girls. I work for the public schools, so it's not exact, but it's close enough that either ma or Constance or someone in the family could watch them on the handful of days that didn't line up. Public schools got out for the summer last week, which is why I don't have work this week."

"And…and…um, you're okay with that?" Maura asked shakily.

"Honestly, I love it," Jane said. "Well, most days. Sometimes, the limits on our ability to actually help the kids suck. But anyway, yeah, I like my job, but what I like even more is being able to be home for the kids. I can go to all their stuff, coach their teams, chaperone their school fieldtrips, and all that."

Finally, Maura smiled. She could hear Jane's genuine happiness in her voice. Once the shock passed – she really had never expected Jane to leave the force – it actually warmed her heart to hear how much Jane loved to be with the kids. She also had to admit that she was happy to know that Jane wasn't in danger like she used to be. Jane had had more than enough trauma and danger in her life – they both had. Plus, Jane had always been great with kids, so working as a school resource officer was a great use of her talents.

"I'm sorry I reacted like that," Maura said honestly. "I just never expected you to leave the force, and well…" Maura took a deep breath. "I am hearing what you are saying about the girls not being a burden, but I've spent years worrying about it. It will take me some time to readjust my thinking so that I stop jumping to that conclusion."

Jane tilted her head in thought. "Did you really think I'd resent them?" she asked curiously.

"No, I never thought you'd resent the girls," Maura assured her. "I was worried you would resent me, though."

Jane nodded. "Okay, well, I don't," Jane said simply. She sighed lightly. "But I get it," she admitted. "It's going to be hard to let go of some of the things we've worried about for the past seven years. I worried about what you would think of my parenting, if you'd be upset about decisions I've made for them, or if you'd regret choosing me to be there mom. And I keep trying to read your reaction whenever you learn something new or when you watch me parent."

"Really?" Maura asked, her face a mask of confusion and surprise. "Jane, you're a wonderful mother."

"And ultimately, I know you know that; just like you know that I don't resent you for leaving them with me," Jane said. "But it's a hard mindset to break after seven years."

Maura nodded. "I understand what you're saying," Maura said. "But if there's anything I can do to reassure you that I don't regret choosing you, and even if something comes up where I might have made a different decision than you, I will always know that you made the best decision you could at the time with the information you had. So even if think I would have done something differently, I could never be upset with you for the decisions you did make. I have absolutely no doubt that you always tried to do what was best for them and/or your family. How can I fault you for that?"

"Thanks," Jane said.

Maura shifted her weight forward and wrapped her arms around her best friend. Jane returned the hug instantly. "I will always, always, always be grateful to you, no matter what happens in the future, and I will always love you."

"I love you, too," Jane said against Maura's shoulder.

Suddenly, Jane laid back, pulling Maura with her. Maura giggled as she fell on top of Jane, their legs tangled together. Heat instantly spread through Maura's entire body at the unexpected closeness. She felt a strong urge to capture Jane's lips with her own. She could have sworn that she saw her own feelings of love, arousal, and desire reflected back at her in Jane's eyes, but her fear overpowered her desires, and she broke their eye contact. Despite her fears, she couldn't bring herself to move off of Jane, so she shifted to lay next to Jane with her head resting on Jane's chest, and Jane's arms holding her close. She let herself melt into the embrace, reveling in the love that surrounded her.

Maura closed her eyes as she rested against Jane. A wave of emotion had nearly overwhelmed her, and tears were burning at the corners of her eyes. For a moment, she had seriously considered taking that step, crossing the line they had danced around for years, but she couldn't bring herself to take the risk. There was too much to lose. There had already been too much to lose before their separation. Sometimes, she had thought that Jane could feel the same way, but Maura had been too afraid to lose her best friend if she were wrong. Now, though…now, the stakes were infinitely higher. Not only could she lose her best friend and love of her life, but she could lose her family and she could break apart her daughters' family. Jane was her family, and what they had now was more than she ever could have hoped for. Did she want more? Yes, she wanted everything with Jane, but she wasn't willing to risk what they had.

A/N: Okay, I know this was a bit of a boring chapter, but I wanted to get some information out there. Plus, they need to continue their open communication with each other. The next chapter is Rizzoli Sunday dinner, so that will be more fun!