6: I hope you can forgive me

Peter laid awake in bed the next morning, Edmund laying asleep beside him.

He'd been awake for a good hour, unable to fall back to sleep thanks to all the thoughts running through his mind.

He'd been thinking of one thing in particular, trying to plan it out in his head, and after coming to a conclusion, he slowly sat up.

Being extremely careful not to wake his brother, he climbed out of bed, straightening out his tunic and grabbing his sword which lay beside the bed, before making his way out into the corridor, wincing when his body protested.

But he kept going, making sure not to be seen until he managed to get outside into the gardens, where he made for the gate that led into the nearby woods.

He was glad when he made it without being seen, after all, there was no way anyone would let him leave by himself, not with a magician trying to kill him on the lose.

If he was honest, he was rather scared about being by himself in the middle of the woods, but he had to try what he'd been thinking of, he had to see if it would work, no matter what.

He walked for half an hour, the sun having just risen when he stopped, closing his eyes and taking a deep, shaky breath.

"Aslan," He whispered, voice choked. "Please, I - I need you, I need to speak with you, please, please Aslan."

He muttered like this under his breath for at least a minute, before he stopped, licking his lips and taking a deep breath, before cracking his eyes open, heart pounding.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw Aslan stood a little way in front of him, and had to swallow hard to wet his throat so he could talk. "You came." He choked.

Aslan nodded, walking closer. "You asked." He said.

Peter bit his lip and nodded slowly, before taking another deep breath. "I - I needed to talk to you." He whispered.

Aslan was quiet for a moment. "I am unable to stop the magician Peter," He said. "This Dark magic is beyond anyone or anything, unable to be stopped."

Peter nodded a little. "Yeah, I kind of guessed that," He murmured. "Which is why I wanted to talk to you."

Aslan looked interested, and waited patiently for Peter to continue talking.

Peter hesitated greatly, but he had to do this, to protect his siblings. "I - I need to fake my death." He choked.

Even Aslan started a little at this. "Fake your death?" He questioned.

Peter swallowed hard. "Edmund keeps getting hurt saving me." He choked out. "And Susan got hurt too. This magician isn't going to stop until he's killed me Aslan, and Edmunds going to end up dead in the end, and I fear Susan and Lucy will too."

"And you believe this is a good way to protect them?" Aslan asked.

Peter sighed. "Maybe not a good way, I mean, it'll break them," He whispered. "But it's the only way, the magician won't stop, and if people get in his way, he removes them, he'll kill Edmund eventually, because he keeps trying to save me!"

Aslan was quiet for a moment. "Where will you go?" He asked. "Faking your death is a very serious and complicated thing Peter."

"I know, I've thought about it all." Peter said quickly. "You can do things yeah?"

"It depends what those things are." Aslan said firmly.

Peter bit his lip. "Place a fake body, and make it so no one can recognise me?" He asked slowly, sounding unsure.

"I'm gonna need a better explanation." Aslan told him.

Peter took a deep breath. "If I fake my death, I have to do it properly. Make everyone, including the magician, believe I'm dead. Plant a fake body, my body, but not my body. Make everyone at Cair believe the magician got to me, make the magician believe I killed myself to protect my siblings. I - I did think of doing that, but this way, maybe one day I can come back..."

"Why must you make your siblings believe you're dead, why not just the magician?" Aslan said.

"I can't risk anyone knowing I'm not dead." Peter exclaimed. "If I told them, and word got out, if the magician found out, he'd just track me down and kill me, or try and kill me, and Edmund wouldn't let him without a fight."

Aslan thought for a moment, before nodding. "I understand," He said. "If you really believe this is the right thing to do, then I can make everyone believe you're dead."

Peter couldn't help but give Aslan a weak smile, despite his pounding heart.

"And the part about no one recognising you?" Aslan asked.

Peter nodded. "There's no way I'd be able to hide anyway, this is my country, everyone's gonna know who I am, and even in the surrounding countries, people know me too well," He said. "I risk being recognised all the time, so I was wondering if you could make it so, no one can recognise me, I'll just be like a normal person."

"Where will you go?" Aslan said.

"I - I'll find a job somewhere," Peter said. "Just live like a normal person."

Aslan seemed to think for ages. "You truly want to do this?" He asked.

"I don't want to," Peter whispered. "But I know I have to. If it protects my siblings, then I will do it. If I don't, they're gonna keep trying to save me, and I can't see them hurt... or worse. I know it'll break them, but I'd rather that then have them dead, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if they died because of me."

Aslan nodded. "Alright," He said softly. "I will carry out your requests, as of this moment no one will recognise you, you will have to leave now-"

Peter took a sharp intake of breath, but he knew that was what he had to do.

"- Go far away from Narnia, don't return, the magician will know you're dead, and he will move on. In the years to come, if I can be sure he won't come back to you, I will let you know, and you may be able to return."

Peter swallowed hard, nodding slowly. "Yeah." He choked out. "Thank you, Thank you so, so much."

"You're welcome, Dear One." Aslan said gently. "Stay safe, I will be keeping an eye on you and your siblings, I'm always with you Peter, never forget that."

Tears in his eyes, Peter nodded. "Thank you." He repeated. "Make sure my siblings get through this, and keep them out of trouble, especially Edmund."

Aslan could tell Peter was trying to make a joke, so he smiled softly for his sake. "Your siblings will be completely safe," He said. "Don't you worry."

Peter nodded, and he seemed to be thinking, not wanting to leave anything out. "Can you wish Edmund a happy birthday from me next month?" He murmured. "It's his eighteenth, and I can't leave him without anything."

"Of course Peter, I will tell him in person." Aslan promised.

Peter choked on his tears for a second.

"You sure you want to do this?" Aslan had to check.

Peter nodded. "If it keeps my siblings safe, then yes." He murmured.

Aslan nodded. "Stay safe." He told him.

Peter took a deep breath. "I will, Thank you," He said, before he ran.

He ran and he didn't stop for ages, his heart pounding and his breathing heavy, before he couldn't run anymore and he collapsed against a tree, tears threatening to fall, and when he made sure that no one was around, he let them.

He just sat there and cried, not really caring if he was. He couldn't believe he'd actually gone through with it, he wasn't sure if he actually would, but now that had done it, he was in a state of shock...

But he knew he'd done it for a good reason.

The magician would now leave, making sure his siblings and everyone else in Cair were safe, and he guessed he was safe too, but that wasn't the reason he'd done this.

He'd done this so Edmund, Susan and Lucy wouldn't get hurt, or worse, trying to keep him safe.

"I'm so, so sorry." He whispered. "I really hope you can forgive me, one day."

sorry I'm a day late with this update ahah :)