Chapter 42: Progress

Jane: July, Present Day

"Here, wear this," Jane said as she handed Harper and Sophie each one of Emma and Finn's old t-shirts that didn't fit them anymore. She had been digging through the kids' clothes for a while now trying to find something that each kid could wear and ruin and none of the kids would be upset. With four kids who loved clothes, that was harder than she had anticipated.

"That doesn't match," Emma pointed out as Sophie pulled a neon green t-shirt from last year's summer camp on with her red shorts.

Jane opened her mouth to tell Emma it didn't matter since their clothes were likely going to get ruined anyway today, but Sophie beat her too it.

"I like it!" she said defiantly, staring down her sister as though daring her to challenge her.

Emma faltered momentarily before offering a half-hearted, "okay," and leaving the room.

Jane chuckled. Sophie was definitely starting to fit in here. She was no longer intimidated by her sisters, and she could easily keep up with their banter. Jane was pretty sure Sophie didn't really like the color combination; the little girl just knew it was the easiest way to shut up her sister.

Jane followed the girls out of the room, finally having dressed all four of them. The kids ran down the stairs ahead of her, but she paused when she heard the master bedroom door open. She turned to find Maura coming out, supposedly ready for their afternoon activity.

"Maur, you can't wear that," she said with a laugh. "All of our clothes are probably going to get ruined. I can get paint or dirt out. I don't think I can get cement or whatever this is out."

"Concrete," Maura instantly corrected her. "Cement is an ingredient in concrete."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine, concrete, but that doesn't change the fact that you need to wear work clothes," she said.

Maura looked down. "These are my work clothes," she said. Then, clearly having instantly flashed back to the same memory as Jane did, she added with a smirk, "You don't like?"

Jane couldn't stop the smile that crossed her face at the memory. It had been a terrible day, and it should be a horrible memory. But it wasn't, and that was entirely because of the woman standing in front of her now.

It had still been relatively early in their friendship. They had been working together for a few years and had spent time together at work, sharing lunch or coffee, but they hadn't hung out much outside of work – or 'outside of a crime scene' as Jane had put it at the time. They had finally recaptured Hoyt and Jane had killed his apprentice. Jane had spent the previous night at Maura's for the first time – well, it was the house she was renting while she renovated her newly purchased Beacon Hill townhome – and Maura had come over to help Jane clean up the mess that Hoyt and his apprentice had left in her apartment after having torn it to pieces.

Jane had been covered in soot, her hands and chest were burned, and her home had been violated. She had just lived through her worst nightmare (okay, well, her worst nightmare up until that point), and yet, that night was one of her favorite memories. She felt like it was the first time Maura let Jane see more of her real self, despite the fact that Jane had already seen more of her real personality than most people.

Forcing herself back to the present, Jane smirked. "Come on, you goof," she said, causing Maura to chuckle.

Maura paused as she neared Jane to lean in for a gentle kiss, which Jane eagerly returned, before they made their way downstairs to four excited little girls.

"You guys ready?" Jane asked to the room at large.

"Yes!" Harper said excitedly.

"What'r we doin'?" Sophie asked despite the fact that she too had eagerly jumped up with Harper.

"We're making steppingstones to go by the koi pond out back," Jane said patiently for what felt like the 32nd time that day.

"Oh, yeah," Sophie replied absently as her attention turned back to her sisters.

"For mommy's place, right?" Finn asked as she followed the other girls out onto the back deck.

"Yes," Maura replied. "We want to turn it into our family space." Jane and Maura had argued at length about this part – although 'argued' might be an overstatement – they had discussed what to call the space for quite a while. Jane was having a hard time letting go of the name mommy/Maura's space. Logically, she knew that it was probably a bit odd to continue to call it Maura's space or mommy's space now that Maura was home, but she still felt a special connection to that space. She knew that what they called it wouldn't change that, but she couldn't quite let it go completely.

Maura wanted to call it 'their space' or 'their family's space,' which Jane supposed made sense. She did want everyone to feel like it was somewhere they could go to relax or destress. Jane knew Maura was right, of course, but that didn't stop her from arguing about it. In the end, they decided to try to come up with a name for the space with the help of the kids (although, Jane was sure that meant it would end up being named after some location in one of their princess movies).

The girls chased each other across the yard with their mothers following more slowly behind them. Jane had already brought all of the supplies that they would need outside and set up an area. She had also poured the concrete into the molds since it had to set for 30 to 60 minutes before the kids could start decorating them.

The kids all sat on the grass – well, except for Sophie who sat on Emma's lap without asking. Emma instantly wrapped her arms around her sister and placed her chin on top of Sophie's head, both of them ready to listen to Jane's instructions.

"Alright, you each…Harper, don't touch them yet please," Jane called out as she noticed Harper's finger about two inches above one of the molds. Harper quickly pulled her hand back and shot her mama a mischievous grin. Jane could hear Maura stifle a giggle next to her. Trying not to let her own amusement show, Jane continued, "You are each going to get to make two stones – one with your handprints and one with your footprints."

Finn's hand shot into the air and without waiting for Jane to address her she asked, "Can we each make one for each hand and each foot?"

"Where would we put that many stones?" Jane teased. "No, two each," she continued, holding up two fingers to emphasize her point. "But maybe, we can make more in a few years when you're bigger.

"Oh, I like that idea," Maura interjected as she sat down next to Finn. Jane laughed at Maura's comment, but her heart swelled when she saw Finn lean into Maura's side. Maura wrapped her arm around Finn's shoulders and gave her a soft kiss on the top of her head before returning her attention back to Jane.

"Too much talking! Not enough doing!" Emma piped up, echoing one of Jane's most frequently used phrases.

Jane chuckled. "Actually, you're right. We need to start, or the stones are going to dry too quickly. Mommy is going to help you with your handprint ones, and I will help you with your footprint ones. Then, you can decorate each of them with colorful stones," she explained.

All six of them had a ton of fun making and decorating the new steppingstones. Jane had actually expected at least one of the girls to mess up their stone and for that to lead to a meltdown, but the process was much easier than she expected. For the footprint stones, Jane lifted each girl before slowly lowering them so that they could place both feet into the concrete. Admittedly, it may have been easier to just do one foot at a time, but it all worked out. They quickly cleaned the girls' feet and hands before letting them decorate to their hearts' content.

Maura and Jane moved between the girls, helping them when they needed help and reminding them to write their names and ages somewhere on the stones. Luckily, Jane had purchased a lot of colorful stones. She had expected they would have too many, but of course, the girls proved her wrong. Emma used the stones to make flowers on her stones while Finn made a rainbow above her handprints and footprints. Harper, on the other hand, filled every inch of available space with colorful stones. They looked a little ridiculous, but they were perfect representations of Harper's personality – colorful, over-the-top, and exuberant (and slightly chaotic). Sophie placed a few perfectly spaced pink and purple stones around her handprints and green and blue stones around her footprints.

"Okay, we need to let these dry completely before we place them by the pond, so let's leave them in the sun. We can move them tomorrow," Jane said.

"But we have camp tomorrow!" Finn quickly reminded Jane, who hadn't actually forgotten.

"I know," Jane assured her. "We can place the stones after camp. Okay?"

"'Kay," Finn replied.

"Which one?" Emma asked.

"Uh, you and Finn are going to math camp this week, and Sophie and Harper are going to YMCA camp," Jane said.

"What's Y-S-C-A-M-A?" Sophie asked, scrunching her face as she tried to repeat the letters Jane had just said.

"YMCA," Jane clarified. "It's just a general summer camp, so you'll play games and play outside and stuff like that."

"It's fun!" Harper confidently assured Sophie, causing Jane to laugh. Harper had never been to camp since they didn't offer summer day camps for kids under 3, but she had heard Emma and Finn talk about camp the previous summer. Jane was pretty sure that Harper didn't actually remember that though. She was probably just picking up on Emma and Finn's excitement for their own camp.

"Okay, well, I think the four of you need baths before dinner, so why don't we head inside," Maura offered, trying not to laugh at Harper and Sophie's conversation since she too was well aware that Harper had never been to camp. As the kids headed inside, Maura turned to Jane and asked, "Do you want to give them their baths while I make dinner, or would you prefer to make dinner while I bathe them?"

"Uh, I'll do bath time," Jane answered with a small laugh – neither of them was surprised by Jane's choice. Maura reached out to squeeze Jane's hand before Jane followed the kids upstairs and Maura headed to the kitchen.

Maura: July, Present Day

"Oh my god, that was exhausting," Jane said dramatically as she flopped on their bed. They had finally gotten Harper and Sophie to sleep. The two little girls were so excited about camp the next day that they had a hard time settling down for the evening. It had started with multiple trips to the bathroom or for a sip of water and had escalated to loud giggling and attempts to prolong their conversation by asking Jane and Maura question after question after question. They had even attempted to negotiate with their moms first to stay up later, then to sleep in the same bed. However, by that time, Jane had lost her patience and told them in no uncertain terms that they would not be going to camp tomorrow if they didn't get in their own beds and remain quiet.

"Were you actually not going to let them go to camp if they didn't settle down?" Maura asked with a smirk as she sat on the bed and laid down next to Jane on top of the covers.

"I don't know," Jane said with a laugh. "Yeah, I s'pose if they continued not to listen, I'd've had to follow through – just for one day though not the full week. But I'm really glad they listened because I need a break."

Maura laughed. It was true, they could both use a break for being around the kids 24/7, but she also knew how much Jane treasured this time with them.

"I've been thinking about my next career move," Maura said quietly, staring at the ceiling.

Jane quickly turned her head to look at Maura. "Okay," she said slowly. "That was a bit of a jump, but that's okay."

Maura laughed lightly but didn't return Jane's eye contact. "I was thinking that we do need a break, but that I'm enjoying getting to spend so much time together as a family. That then made me think about how we never would have been able to do these things with our old careers, which in turn made me think about what I wanted to do next," Maura explained softly.

"Okay, that train of thought makes more sense than I was expecting," Jane admitted.

"Since when am I not logical," Maura said with a smirk, finally turning to look at Jane.

Jane rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine, so what were you thinking?" she asked.

Maura looked back at the ceiling. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous to talk about this with Jane; she knew without a doubt that Jane would support whatever she wanted to do. There was still some part of her that didn't want to disappoint Jane, though. "I-I…um…" Maura tripped over her words. She brought her hands up and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes in an attempt to calm herself.

Jane gently gripped Maura's wrist and pulled her hand away from her face. "Why are you being weird?" she asked. "You know I don't care what you want to do. I just want to support you. And if you don't know what you want to do yet, you can always bounce ideas off of me."

Maura sighed before rolling onto her side to face Jane. She folded her hands under her face. "I know," she said genuinely. "I don't know why I'm nervous to talk to you about this."

Jane mirrored Maura's position except she reached out with her left hand to gently rub Maura's arm in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. "I understand that your career has always been important to you," Jane said quietly.

"I think that's just it," Maura replied. "Part of what brought us together was the fact that we were two ambitious women working in male-dominated fields. Our jobs were important to our identities, and we both always understood that about the other. We respected it. I think it's hard for me to admit to myself – and to you – that my career is no longer the most important part of my identity."

"Mine's not the most important part of my identity anymore either," Jane said. "It hasn't been for nearly six and a half years. That doesn't take away from the fact that it was for so long. Yeah, at one point in my life I never thought that I would willingly give up my career. Even the first time that I was pregnant, I fully intended to continue being a cop, and for that point in my life, I still think that would have been the right choice. But things changed, and that's okay. I couldn't be happier and allowing family life to become a larger part of who I am while letting my career take a backseat is a big part of that. That doesn't have to be the same for you. I do think that whatever you're feeling is okay. We'll work it out together."

Maura nodded. "This might sound a bit odd, but I just keep coming back to the feeling that I don't want to decide anything right now," Maura admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"I feel like I need to decide," Maura explained. "I feel like I owe it to myself and to you to make a decision and to move forward. But I don't want to. I want to enjoy this summer with you and the kids. I don't want to make any more major life decisions right now. I don't want to spend the summer applying for jobs."

"So don't," Jane said. "Put it out of your mind for now. Revisit it in the fall, and if you're still not ready to decide, put it aside until the spring. There's absolutely no reason that you need to make a decision right now unless you want to. We have more than enough money, so it's not like we need your income to live."

"You would really be okay with that?" Maura asked vulnerably.

"Of course," Jane said emphatically. "Maura, all I want is for you to be happy. If you never wanted to work again, that would be fine with me. If you decide you want to try to get your old position back as Chief Medical Examiner, that would also be fine with me. And anything in between is fine too. Don't you think we've both been through enough that maybe it's okay if we just do what makes us happy?"

Maura nodded again as tears burned at the corners of her eyes, but a small smile also tugged at her lips. "I do think we've earned that right," she said softly. "I do know that I want to work again, at least in some capacity. I also know that I don't want my old position back. Otherwise, I'd really like to wait to decide."

"I didn't really see you never working again, but I meant it when I said I'd be okay with it," Jane said. "I think that's a good idea, though. I love the idea of just spending the summer enjoying being a family."

"Me too," Maura said.

"Come'ere," Jane whispered as she wrapped her arm around Maura and pulled her close. Their lips met in a loving kiss.

When they separated, Maura shifted to rest her head on Jane's chest. "I do think that I'm ready to reach out to Hope, again, though," she said quietly.

Jane kissed the top of Maura's head. "Then you should," she replied.

Maura nodded as she gripped Jane tighter. She would text Hope tomorrow She just hoped that Jane understood why she felt she needed to do this and that she would never choose Hope over her or Harper. In Maura's mind, there was no choice. Jane and the kids were her life; they were her everything.

Jane: July, Present Day

Jane distractedly cleaned their already clean house. For what seemed like the first time ever since Emma and Finn were born, all of their laundry was done. She was now washing the kitchen counter – the same one that Maura had cleaned only a few hours ago and no one had used since. But Jane had always cleaned when she was nervous – and at this moment, she was very nervous.

The kids were at their last days of their respective camps. As Jane expected, Emma and Finn loved math camp just as much as Harper and Sophie loved the YMCA camp. They had each been to a few camps already this summer, but this had been the first full week camp for all of them. Although science camp had probably been Finn's favorite, Jane was pretty sure that math camp was Emma's favorite, at least so far. All four girls still had book camp, and Jane suspected that might take over as a summer favorite for at least one of the kids. So far, Harper and Sophie's camps had been pretty much the same even if they were run by different organizations. There weren't many options for three-year-olds, but Jane thought it was important that they spent time with kids their own age. Book camp was the only camp for that age group that had a theme other than "playtime."

Of course, the fact that the kids were at camp wasn't what was making Jane nervous. However, selfishly, she kind of wished they were around to distract her. No, what was worrying her was Maura's lunch with Hope. Maura had met Hope – Jane glanced at the clock – 72 minutes ago, and she had promised that no matter how well or terribly it went, she would call Jane immediately after. The fact that it had been over an hour made Jane hope that it was going at least relatively well, but that didn't stop her from worrying.

Maura and Hope: July, Present Day

This time Maura had chosen the restaurant and arrived first, so now she was sitting at a small table in the far corner of the bistro that she had selected waiting nervously for Hope. Unsurprisingly, when the bell attached to the front door rang at exactly 11:59am, Maura looked up to see her birth mother walking through the door.

Hope looked around the restaurant for a few seconds before she spotted Maura. Maura kept her eyes on Hope as she walked towards her, but she decided to stay seated instead of standing to greet her mother like she usually would. She smiled at Hope as the other woman sat down across from her, but she knew the smile didn't reach her eyes.

"Hello, Maura," Hope said cautiously. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me."

Maura nodded. At first, she wasn't going to respond; she was going to just let Hope start. However, she ended up deciding that she needed to make one thing clear. "I'm willing to have a conversation with you," she said firmly. "I am not willing to listen to you disparage Jane or Harper."

Hope nodded. She had honestly expected that, and she had decided before coming here that she was going to try her best to do this on Maura's terms. Her feelings about Jane and Harper hadn't changed, but her desire to keep Maura a part of her life was stronger than her feelings about Jane and Harper. "I understand," she said.

Maura nodded again, unsure of what to say next. They sat in awkward silence, both focusing on their menus, until the waitress came to take their orders. With the easy distraction of their menus gone, they were forced to focus their attention on each other.

"How have you been?" Hope asked slowly.

"I've been doing well," Maura said. "I'm very happy to be home. It hasn't all been easy, but overall, the transition has gone very well, I think."

"I'm glad," Hope said genuinely. "And have you been able to spend time with Emma and Finn?"

"Yes, we've done quite a few things as a family, but I've also had a chance to spend some time alone with them. A few weeks ago, the three of us visited the Boston Museum of Science together while Jane baked cookies with Harper and Sophie," Maura said.

"Oh, wonderful. I'm sure all three of you enjoyed that very much."

"Yes, we did," Maura admitted with a smile at the memory. "It was actually Jane's idea," Maura felt the need to add. "She's been incredibly supportive of my attempts to build relationships with Emma and Finn – actually, with all three girls – and she has been a wonderful mother to Sophie." Maura watched Hope for a reaction to her words, but Hope didn't say anything. Maura did notice that her mouth pressed into a thin line, but that was the only betrayal of Hope's displeasure that was evident.

"Well, I'm glad you're getting a chance to know them," Hope commented, purposely leaving the 'them' vague.

"They are wonderful girls, all four of them," Maura added.

"I would really like to get to know Sophie better," Hope said in an attempt to steer clear of conversations about Jane and/or Harper.

Maura nodded. She knew that Hope meant what she said, but Maura was also adamant that Hope could only get to know Sophie and continue to be in Emma and Finn's lives if she accepted all four girls. "She's a good kid," was all Maura said, "and she loves her sisters. She's thriving here. Back in Utah, we didn't have much of a support system, so it's wonderful for her to have so much family and to be able to make new friends. I was worried about how the transition would be for her, but she's incredibly resilient. Not only that, but it seems to have been a positive change for her. She's very happy."

"That's wonderful," Hope said sincerely. "She probably gets that from you."

Maura laughed. "I don't know," she admitted. "She may look exactly like me, but her personality is completely different."

"How so?"

"She's outgoing and personable, she makes friends easily, she's easy-going, and she is very much an extrovert," Maura said lovingly.

Hope smiled. "Maybe so, but based on what you're saying, she still seems to have inherited your strength and resiliency," she said. "You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for, Maura, and it seems that Sophie is as well."

Maura shrugged. She didn't want to admit that Hope's words meant a lot to her.

Maura and Hope continued talking primarily about Sophie until their food arrived. Maura could tell that every time she started to talk about the other girls, Hope navigated the conversation back to what she evidently considered a safe topic. Maura decided to just let it happen for now.

However, once the waitress had taken their plates and they were waiting for their bill, Maura decided they could no longer avoid the more difficult conversation that they needed to have.

"Look, Hope, I'm glad that our lunch has gone well so far, but there are still some issues that we need to address. First, you should know that Jane and I are dating," Maura said, and she didn't miss the nearly imperceptible flinch from Hope. "We love each other, and we have for a very long time," she continued, unwilling to let Hope stop her from saying the things she needed to say. "I've wanted this since…well, since before I even met you…so if you try to get in between us, you and I…we're done. The same goes for Jane's relationship with Emma, Finn, and Sophie, as well as my relationship with Harper. Jane has already adopted Sophie, and I plan to adopt Emma, Finn, and Harper in the near future. If you want to be a part of my life…of the girls' lives…you need to accept that; you need to accept Jane and Harper. They are my family. The six of us are a family. Jane and the girls will always be the most important people in my life."

"I very much want to be a part of your and your daughters' lives," Hope said softly as the waitress returned with their bill and she paid the check. It wasn't exactly what Maura wanted to hear, but she supposed it was better than she expected. She had wanted an apology; she had wanted Hope to admit that she was wrong, even if she knew that was unrealistic. Still, at least Hope hadn't said a single negative thing about Jane or Harper since the start of this lunch.

Maura sighed. "If you would like, you are invited to our house for my birthday. Jane is planning a party for Saturday, August 5th at 3pm, and all of our friends and family have been invited," Maura said.

"Yes," Hope said quickly. "Thank you for the invitation. I would be thrilled to attend."

Maura nodded. "Okay, if there are more details before the day, I will text you. Otherwise, I'd appreciate it if we could take this slowly," Maura said.

"We'll do this your way," Hope agreed.

"Thank you," Maura said. "I should probably go," she added as she stood up.

Hope stood up as well. "Could I give you a hug?" she asked.

Maura nodded and embraced her mother awkwardly before walking out of the restaurant. When she got to her car, she paused to gather herself. Despite the fact that the meal had gone better than she expected, her emotions were still all over the place, and she didn't trust Hope. Hope had never apologized or admitted her wrong doings, and Maura wasn't willing to even consider forgiving her until she proved that not only was she sorry but that she had genuinely changed.

Maura took a deep breath and sent Jane a text before pulling out of the parking lot and driving home.

When Maura arrived home, she found Jane sitting at the kitchen island on her iPad. Jane quickly stood up as Maura walked into the house.

"Are you okay?" Jane asked slowly, opening her arms to Maura.

"Yes," Maura said honestly, but she didn't hesitate to fall into Jane's arms. She rested her head on Jane's shoulder as they embraced each other. After a couple of moments, she pulled back to look at Jane. "Lunch went…fine…well, even, I suppose," Maura said slowly.

"That's good, right?" Jane asked.

Maura nodded. "It was better than I expected," she admitted. "Although, she still didn't apologize or admit that she's wrong. She also didn't say anything negative about you, Harper, or anyone else."

"Admitting you're wrong is hard for anyone," Jane said gently.

Maura nodded again as she pulled Jane back against her. "I know," she said softly, "but it's not enough."

Jane tightened her grip on Maura. "No, it's not, but maybe it's enough for today," she said. "What did you end up doing about inviting her to your birthday?"

"I invited her, but I told her we were going to work on our relationship slowly. We're going to do this my way. And Jane, she only gets one more chance," Maura added firmly, looking Jane directly in the eye.

Jane nodded. "I'm on your side…always," Jane said. "I will support whatever you decide as long as her opinions don't start affecting the kids."

"I love you," Maura said softly before giving Jane a soft kiss on the lips. "I love you so much more than you know."

Jane smiled before initiating another kiss. "I love you too," she whispered in between increasingly heated kisses.