Chapter 57: All's Fair in Love and War

Trigger warning: reference to past child hospital stay (everyone's okay, though)

A/N: Thank you for your patience while I paused on this story. I had some personal reasons that I couldn't work on this story for a few weeks (nothing bad, I promise), but I'm back. It's still the busiest part of the semester, so I make no promises on my update schedule, but I hope to post chapters regularly for this story again to the best of my ability.

Maura: October, Present Day

Much to Jane's chagrin, Oliver William Martin Hendrickson doesn't enter the world on her birthday. He did, however, channel his Aunt Jane's personality, impatiently making his appearance within an hour of Cailin's arrival at the hospital. Weighing 7 pounds, 1 ounce, Oliver was born just after 6am on October 1st.

Emma, Finn, Harper, and Sophie were ecstatic to meet their new cousin. They were already planning for the day when he was old enough to play with them.

If Maura had thought that summer passed quickly, fall was absolutely flying by. Between Oliver's birth, other family events, work, and kid's activities, Maura couldn't believe that it was already mid-October.

"Mama, can we go to the fall fair with Alyssa?" Emma asked from the backseat. Jane and Maura had just picked them up from school and were on their way to get Harper and Sophie. The school district Jane worked for only had a half-day of school today, so it was one of the rare days they could pick up all four girls together, something Maura really enjoyed doing.

"She said her mom or dad is going to text you," Finn added.

"On Friday," Emma said. "After school."

Maura glanced at Jane, who for once was in the passenger seat while Maura drove, but Jane was facing away from her, looking at Emma and Finn. She didn't see the anxiety written all over Maura's face.

"Yeah, that's fine," Jane said. "But only if her parents ask. Do not invite yourselves, please."

"Fine, but Alyssa already invited us," Emma countered.

"Em, don't invite yourselves, okay? Besides, they've invited you guys for the past two years, I'm guessing if Alyssa already said something, one of her parents will text me soon."

"Alright, alright," Emma huffed, sounding very much like Jane in the moment.

Maura stopped paying attention to the conversation around her as she got lost in thought. She didn't like the idea of Emma and Finn going to the fair with another family, but she couldn't decide if she was being overprotective or not. Ultimately, she trusted Jane. She kept telling herself that, but for some reason, it wasn't helping this time.

It was one thing for the kids to be at organized activities like after-school programs or sports, and despite the fact that Maura had been nervous about being separated from Emma and Finn at during t-ball practice, she had gotten over that by the end of the season. However, this was different. It was more unofficial, and that made Maura nervous.

"Maur?" Jane's voice cut through Maura's haze.

"Sorry," Maura said quickly, giving her head a little shake.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Maura said. She didn't want to bring up her concerns in front of the kids. Besides, they were at Harper and Sophie's preschool, which was why Jane was trying to get Maura's attention.

Maura tried to remain engaged with her family throughout the evening, but she knew she wasn't entirely successful by Jane's lingering gaze at various times before the kids went to bed.

As they closed the door to the kids' bedrooms that night, Jane didn't even give Maura a chance to open her mouth before she gently grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her down the hall to their bedroom.

"Talk," Jane said firmly but kindly after closing the door behind them.

"Jane," Maura grumbled. "It's…I'm fine."

Jane crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised a skeptical eyebrow in Maura's direction. Maura turned on her heel in frustration and walked across the bedroom to sit on the edge of the bed.

"It's just my own anxieties," Maura said resignedly.

Jane's shoulders dropped as she released some of the tension her body was holding. She walked over to sit next to Maura on the bed. She was quiet for a few minutes, and Maura wondered if Jane was waiting for her to speak first. Eventually, though, Jane asked, "You don't want Emma and Finn to go to the fair with Alyssa's family?"

Maura shrugged. "Saying that I don't want them to go isn't quite correct. I want them to have fun and to be kids. I just also want them to be safe."

"And you think I don't?" Jane asked, but her tone indicated that she wasn't offended by the implication of Maura's statement – just point out the obvious.

Maura answered anyway, "Of course, I know that you want them to be safe, which is exactly what I keep telling myself."

"But?" Jane prompted.

"But I'm still very anxious about them going somewhere like that with another family."

"I would never let them go anywhere or with anyone if I thought there was any chance they'd get hurt," Jane said. "Or more accurately, any greater chance than just the everyday life of being a kid."

"I know that," Maura said as she rubbed her sweaty palms on her pants.

Jane's gaze dropped to her lap as she added, "I should have talked to you first, though. I shouldn't have just answered without you having a say."

"Maybe, but I understand that you've been parenting alone for over six years."

"Yeah. I don't know if it helps, but I've been to this fair. We all went with Alyssa's family two years ago. They've also done a lot of things with Alyssa's family over the years. They're a good family, Maura."

"I trust you, Jane. I really do, but I don't know if there's anything that will ease my anxiety. At least not until it's over."

"I'll work on being a better co-parent instead of making unilateral decisions in the future," Jane said. "But I mean, I know we've talked about this before…but I don't love the idea of no longer allowing them to do things they've been allowed to do in the past. It's not completely up to me, anymore, though."

"I know, and I agree. Like I've said in the past, I don't want to pass my own trauma and anxiety on to the kids."

Jane bumped Maura's shoulder affectionately. "You can unload it onto me anytime, though," she said.

Maura laughed softly and leaned against Jane, resting her head on Jane's shoulder. "I think I already do," she admitted.

Jane wrapped her arm around Maura's shoulders and held her close. She left a soft kiss on the top of Maura's head before resting her cheek against Maura's hair. They sat together in silence for a while, and even though they weren't saying anything, Maura had to admit that it helped. She was still nervous about Friday and the idea of the kids going to the fall fair with another family, but being comforted by Jane did make her feel better.

Four days later

Alyssa's dad text Jane to invite Emma and Finn to attend the fair with their family the next day. Maura's nervousness remained throughout the week, but she was able to keep it from affecting the girls or their family time.

But now it was Friday afternoon and Maura's anxiety had returned in full force. She arrived home from work before Jane, Harper, and Sophie. Emma and Finn were being picked up from school by Alyssa's family, so Maura was alone with her thoughts. Luckily, she didn't have to wait long for the rest of her family to get home.

"MOMMY!" Sophie squealed as she and Harper burst through the door.

Maura smiled brightly as the two girls crashed into her, hugging her legs. "Hi, sweetie," she said, squatting down to give Harper and Sophie each a hug. "How was school today?"

"Good!" Sophie answered excitedly. "Next week, we get to have a Halloween party and we getta wear our costumes!"

"Sophie and I are gonna be Elsa and Anna!" Harper added happily.

"I know, sweetie," Maura said with a laugh. She had been there when they decided and ordered the costumes. Sophie and Harper wanted to be Elsa and Anna because they're sisters, but they couldn't agree on who would get to be whom. In the end, they had to draw names to determine who would be Anna (Harper) and who would be Elsa (Sophie).

"Hey," Jane said as she walked into the kitchen, kissing the top of Maura's head as she passed.

Maura stood back to her full height as the girls ran to the family room. "Hi, Jane," she said, smiling at her girlfriend. "How was work?"

"It was alright," she replied with a shrug. "Nothing special. How 'bout you?"

"We closed the case, so I actually got home earlier than I expected."

"Nice. Congrats," Jane replied, smiling at Maura.

They talked a while longer about their days while the kids played in the family room, but it didn't take long for Harper and Sophie to return to the kitchen in search of food. Since Emma and Finn got to go to the fair, Maura and Jane had promised Harper and Sophie a fun evening of pizza and movies.

Harper and Sophie were lying in their pile of pillows and blankets on the floor and Maura was curled into Jane's side when Jane's phone started ringing. Maura jumped at the sound, not having realized that the phone was so close.

Jane

Jane's heart jumped into her throat when she saw Jim Collins' name pop-up on her caller ID.

"Hello?" Jane said, sitting up and forcing Maura to sit up as well. Her stomach bottomed out at the sound of the sirens in the background. The few seconds between when she answered the phone and when Jim spoke were nearly enough to stop Jane's heart.

"Emma broke her arm, but otherwise, she's okay," Jim responded quickly, and Jane was incredibly grateful that he didn't hesitate to give her the most important details.

"Okay, hold on," Jane said thickly. Not wanting Harper and Sophie to hear the conversation, Jane stood from the couch and walked into the laundry room. Maura joined her seconds later. Jane turned the phone so that Maura could hold her ear close enough to hear without putting the phone on speaker and risking Harper and Sophie overhearing the conversation.

"Okay, what happened?" Jane asked.

"Emma tripped getting off of a ride. She fell off the platform and landed awkwardly on her arm. She's with the paramedics now," Jim explained.

"She didn't hit her head?" Maura asked, her voice strained.

"No, I saw the whole thing. She didn't hit her head, but the paramedics ran through the basic concussion protocols anyway."

"Can I talk to her?" Jane asked quickly.

"Yeah, hold on."

"Mama?!" Emma's tear-filled voice came over the line.

"Bean, are you okay?" Jane asked stupidly, not sure what else to say.

"No!" Emma said dramatically. "It hurts! My arm hurts. I want you, mama!"

"Okay, baby, mommy and I are on our way," Jane said into the phone before turning to Maura and asking her to "Call ma."

Maura nodded and went back to the other room to find her phone.

Jim's voice came over the line. "They're going to take her via ambulance to Shriner's Hospital for Children – no lights or siren they said. Margaret is going to ride with her and I'm going to follow with the kids. You guys are closer to the hospital than here, so why don't you meet us there?"

"I…yeah, okay," Jane said resignedly. She hated the idea of Emma riding in an ambulance without her, but she knew it would be completely ridiculous to suggest that the ambulance wait at the fair for her to arrive. That would only leave Emma in pain for longer than necessary. "Can I talk to Emma again?" Maura had returned and was once again listening to the conversation.

"Yeah, and actually, can you talk to Finn, too?" Jim suggested. "She refuses to leave Emma's side, but I really don't think it would be good for her to ride in the ambulance too."

"Yeah, put them on," Jane agreed.

"Mama, are you coming?" Emma asked immediately, breaking Jane's heart into a million pieces.

"I'm going to meet you at the hospital…"

"No!" Emma cried. "I want you NOW!"

"I know, baby, and I want to be there now, but we're closer to the hospital than the fair. Mrs. Collins is going to ride with you in the ambulance, okay?"

"No, I want you," Emma whined.

Jane squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to temper her own panic. "I know, baby, but if you go in the ambulance, they'll make you feel better sooner, okay?"

"You'll be at the hospital?"

"Yes, bean. I'll be there," Jane said, trying to channel any remaining strength she had to Emma through the phone.

"'Kay," Emma agreed sadly.

"And Finn, you have to go with Mr. Collins," Jane added. "You can't go in the ambulance with Emma."

"Stay with Emma," Finn's muffled voice responded.

"No," Jane said firmly. "You have to go in the car with Mrs. Collins and Alyssa."

"No!" Finn said defiantly.

"Finley Grace Rizzoli, go with Mrs. Collins," Jane replied as sternly as she could.

Finn hesitated, but the use of her full name was enough. "Fine," she said angrily, and Jane could tell by the change in the clarity of her voice that she had likely lifted her head from being pressed against Emma.

"We'll see you there, Jane," Jim said, pulling the phone away from the girls. "Margaret or I will call you if anything changes, but we don't expect it too."

"Thanks, Jim," Jane said, hanging up the phone without waiting for a reply.

Jane turned to face Maura, who immediately embraced her.

"She's okay," Maura said into Jane's hair as Jane held onto Maura tightly. "How many broken bones did you have as a kid? She's okay."

Jane nodded against Maura's shoulder before forcing herself to stand.

"Your mom is on the way," Maura continued. "She'll be here any minute. Do you want to grab anything for Emma or Finn before we go?"

"Yeah," Jane said, swallowing hard.

"Go," Maura replied, squeezing Jane's forearms in an attempt to comfort her. "I'll talk to Harper and Sophie."

By the time Jane returned downstairs with a bag, including Emma's favorite stuffed dog, Finn's favorite stuffed bunny, and a change of clothes for each of them, just in case, Angela had arrived. Jane barely said a word to her mother, but she accepted her mom's hug. She gave Harper and Sophie each a quick hug as well as a whispered, "It's okay. Emma's going to be okay."

When Jane went to grab her keys, Maura held them up. "I'm driving," she said, leaving no room for negotiation. Jane wanted to argue, but she had to admit it was probably safer.

Maura

Maura was in what Jane often referred to as 'doctor mode.' She blocked her fears in the back of her head in order to drive them to the hospital safely. They arrived almost ten minutes before the ambulance and fifteen minutes before Jim Collins and the kids, and Maura was worried that Jane might completely lose it if it took any longer.

They were in a private exam room. Jane was sitting on the bed with Emma in her lap. Emma had a pillow over her to rest her arm on while they waited for the results of the x-ray, which would let them know if the fracture was displaced and if Emma would need surgery.

Maura was in the chair next to the bed with Finn in her lap, and Finn was holding both her bunny and Emma's dog. No one has spoken since Jane and Emma returned from the x-ray.

"Mama?" Emma's voice cut through the silence.

"Yeah, baby?" Jane asked, her voice full of love and concern.

"It feels better," Emma mumbled.

Jane kissed the top of Emma's head before saying, "Yeah, they gave you some medication to make you feel better. I'm glad it's helping."

"Can I have pudding?" Emma asked, causing Jane to snort in laughter. Even Maura chuckled a little bit at the question.

"Um, I don't think they're going to give you food here, and I don't think we have pudding at home, but we can buy pudding tomorrow if you really want it," Jane responded.

"I want pudding, too," Finn piped up, speaking for the first time since they had arrived and she had cried out, "Mama," upon seeing Jane.

Jane chuckled, and she glanced at Maura for a brief moment. "We'll get all four of you some pudding tomorrow, okay?" she said.

"I want chocolate," Emma added.

"And vanilla," Finn said, perking up slightly. "And Harper will want the swirly kind. I dunno what Sophie likes." Finn turned in Maura's lap to look at Maura for a response.

"I think Sophie will like any of those flavors," Maura said. Finn seemed satisfied with the response and settled back against Maura.

"What made you think of pudding now?" Jane asked the question Maura was wondering.

"Harper got pudding last year when she was in the hospital," Emma said.

"You guys didn't even come to the hospital when she was here," Jane said, confusion evident in her voice.

"Yeah, but Harper told us," Finn replied.

Jane laughed once and shook her head. "Okay, well, you're not staying the night here, so we'll get you some tomorrow."

"We're not gonna sleep here?" Emma asked.

"Probably not," Jane replied. "The doctor will let us know for sure when they come."

As though Jane had summoned them, there was a soft knock on the door. Emma immediately said, "Come in!"

A woman who looked to be in her mid-40s and a young man who looked to be in his 20s walked in with a smile.

"How are you feeling, Emma?" the woman asked.

"Better," Emma answered.

"Good," the woman said with a smile. "I'm Dr. Grant, and this is Neil," the doctor introduced herself and the medical assistant who was helping her. "And I have good news. You won't need surgery."

Maura saw the relief wash over Jane's features at the doctor's words. The doctor stayed and explained everything to them. Maura was impressed at how she made sure to always address Emma first in a way that she could understand before adding more details for Maura and Jane. She showed all of them the x-rays, even pointing out the break to Emma. It was a complete break of the ulna, but it wasn't displaced.

Emma was so indecisive about what color she wanted for her cast that the doctor ended up letting her pick two colors. She ended up with blue and purpled swirled in a candy-cane-like pattern.

It was late by the time they got home, but Harper and Sophie were asleep on the couch waiting to see their sister. When they finally got all four girls in bed (with Finn sleeping with Emma in her bed), Maura followed Jane into their bedroom, and she could almost feel the dam holding back her emotions breaking inside of her.

Hope: December, One Year Ago

Hope hadn't intended to fall asleep on the couch while reading her book, but it had been a long week. She jerked awake at the sound of her phone ringing. It took her so long to come to her senses that she missed the first call, but whoever was calling, immediately called again. When she finally found her phone, she saw Cailin's name on her caller ID.

"Hello," Hope answered.

As soon as she heard Cailin's voice when she said, "Hi, mom," Hope knew something was wrong. Adrenaline flooded her system and she sat up on the couch.

"Cailin, what's wrong?" Hope asked quickly.

"Harper was just admitted to the hospital," Cailin said. "I know you…" Cailin sighed. "I just thought you should know."

"Okay," was all Hope could say.

Cailin continued anyway, "Jane brought her to the ER with difficulty breathing and a high fever. She has pretty severe croup."

Hope shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Will she be okay?" Hope asked, telling herself that she only cared because Emma and Finn loved Harper.

"Most likely," Cailin replied. "She's in the best possible place to get the treatment she needs, but there's always a risk of complications when it comes to severe croup. You know that."

"Well, like you said, she's in the right place," Hope replied coldly, and she could almost feel Cailin roll her eyes in frustration on the other end of the line.

"I just thought you should know, mom," Cailin said. "Angela is with Emma and Finn. I have to get back to work, but I'll let you know if anything changes."

"Okay," Hope said. "Goodnight."

Cailin sighed deeply, clearly disappointed in Hope's response. "Night, mom," she said before hanging up the phone.

Hope stood and cleaned up around her. Since she had fallen asleep before the call, she might as well go to bed. As she completed her evening routine, she told herself that at least it wasn't Emma or Finn in the hospital.

Twenty minutes later, Hope turned off the lamp beside her bed and pulled up her covers, and within seconds, she was wracked with deep, bone-crushing sobs. Her entire body shook as she curled into the fetal position. She couldn't think. It was taking everything she had just to breathe. She had no idea how long she cried, but the softer tears easily lasted over an hour.

She kept repeating it like a mantra in her head: I'm just worried about the effect of Harper's illness on Emma and Finn. I'm just worried about the effect of Harper's illness on Emma and Finn. I'm just worried about the effect of Harper's illness on Emma and Finn.

She repeated it until sleep finally overtook her, but the very last thought before she lost consciousness was, I wonder how much longer I can convince myself of that.

Jane: October, Present Day

Jane sunk down heavily on the end of their bed when she and Maura finally got to their bedroom. She knew Emma was okay – Maura was right, Jane had broken many bones as a kid – but she still hated seeing any of her kids in pain.

She expected Maura to sit with her, but Maura walked right past her and into the bathroom. Jane didn't think much of it, other than to wish Maura was next to her.

Jane rubbed her hands over her face as exhaustion seeped into every bone in her body. She gave herself a few minutes before she forced herself to get up to get ready for bed.

Maura was standing in front of the sink when Jane entered the bathroom. Jane trailed her hand over the small of Maura's back as she walked to the other sink to wash her face and brush her teeth. The was so lost in thought that she almost didn't see Maura jerk away from her touch. Almost.

Jane looked up and found Maura's eyes in the mirror. She could see the anger tinged with pain swirling behind the emotionless mask Maura had plastered on her face.

Jane's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She was about to ask what was wrong, but before she could get a word out, Maura whirled around to face her. Jane hadn't seen the look of contempt on Maura's face directed at her since she had shot Paddy Doyle.

"I told you that I had a bad feeling about them going to that fair," Maura said. While the anger in her voice was evident, it was also unnervingly calm.

Jane's eyes widened in shock.

"She got hurt, and we weren't there!" Maura hissed, her finger pointed directly at Jane's chest. "I didn't want them to go, but you said it would be fine. Now our daughter spent the evening in the ER and will have a cast on her dominant arm for the next 4-6 weeks."

Defensiveness quickly overtook Jane's shock. "What happened to 'she's fine. Remember how many arms you broke, Jane?' You think I wanted this to happen?"

"Of course, I don't think you wanted it to happen," Maura said angrily, ignoring Jane's first question. "But you've always been reckless. Shooting yourself, walking into hostage situations, jumping off bridges. Why would I ever think you would be any different as a parent?"

Jane felt like she had been stabbed in the heart. This was worse – so much worse – than anything Maura had said to her even during the worst moments of their friendship up until this point.

"What the hell, Maura!?" Jane scoffed, trying not to completely explode. "I would die for any one of them, and you know it!"

"Yeah, but I'd rather you live for them. I'd rather you be there for them. I'd rather they be safe and not need you to die for them.

"Did you hear her on the phone, Jane?" Maura continued, her voice rising as anger coursed through her body. "She wanted you there with here. You weren't there. I wasn't there."

"What do you want to do, keep all four of them at home for the rest of their lives?"

"I'm saying I don't want to be reckless with their safety. I want to be there for them when they need me."

"Do you seriously think I'm reckless with their safety?" Jane asked, vulnerability cutting through some of her anger.

"I don't know," Maura replied.

"If you really think that, then why did you leave them with me six and a half years ago? Why are you here now? If I'm such a terrible parent, maybe you should take all four of them and go!"

"Maybe I made a mistake," Maura said, her voice as cold as ice.

If words could kill, Jane would have died right then and there. Instead, she pushed past Maura and ran out of the bedroom.

A/N: It's really not important, but I accidently listed Oliver's middle name as James on the family tree after using William in an early chapter. It was supposed to be William (after Cailin's father), but it's a pain to change that image, so I'm not going to bother. Especially since it's really not at all important to the story, lol.