Alex sat in her therapist's office, they were talking about series events. "My mother and my manager have built this image for me that has been well projected." Alex started, "But I'm not that fourteen year old anymore. Even when I was fourteen I was treated like a twenty year old."

"Why do it?" Dr. Olivet asked.

"It's like breathing. I have to do it and if I don't skate I feel like I'm suffocating." Alex closed her eyes to think about being on the ice. "I really do love being out there. To hear my blades glide on the ice is so calming, and being rewarded for my hard work." Alex smiled thinking about her accomplishments.

"How do you think you would feel if this was all taken away from you tomorrow?" She asked her blonde client.

Alex got silent as she tried to not do her nervous twitch. "I… I…" Alex didn't know how to answer the question. She could hear her mom's voice in the back of her head saying this isn't up to expectation. "That won't happen." She breathed out.

"Why?"

"Because I was told since I can remember that settling for anything less than the best is wrong." Alex was confessing her deepest experiences to someone else that wasn't Olivia or friends that watched her grow up.

"What have you done, just for fun?"

"I go to my roommate's softball games."

Thirteen year old Alex skated on the ice with Trevor before the hockey players started practice and after skating practice.

"Whoa, whoa" Jim started, "You need to put hockey skates on. You can't play with those on."

"I think I can manage." Alex smirked, spinning with the hockey stick.

"Alright Langan, she's on your team."

"Deal."

Alex joined the boys with a friendly game of hockey. She was holding her own and made two shots. She was smiling, having a good time in a friendly game with no pressure. She was focused on the puck and speeding through the ice.

"Alexandra Cabot!" Jane screamed as she walked over to the ice.

Alex lost her focus as she looked up at her mother. She tripped over her hockey stick and fell across the ice. Trevor and Jim quickly helped her up. "Are you alright?" Trevor asked.

Alex liked being in a group of people asking if she was okay if she fell. "Yeah…" She looked over at Jane who was fuming, "I'll be okay." She squeezed Trevor's hand tight as she skated to Jane.

"What are you doing?" Jane snapped at Alex.

"I was just having fun with the guys." She explained out of breath.

"No, you're not. I'm not your program to be thrown off with poor technique." She opened the gate. "Let's go." Alex stepped off the ice. "What were you thinking?"

Alex wanted to argue with her unreasonable mother. "I wasn't."

"The bar Olivia works at has had karaoke nights which are always fun, and dancing with her." She smiled. "Olivia has taken me on hikes near fire island."

"Who is Olivia?"

"My girlfriend."

"For how long?"

"I met her at the beginning of June, and we had dated about two months later. So four months?" She questioned the time.

"She seems to be special to you."

"Apart from my father and my coach. She is the most important person in my life." Alex confessed to the person that is trying to analyze her.

"After six months, why would you say that?"

"She's the most loving, honest person I've met. She has never judged anyone for their past or present actions. She doesn't want anything from me except my company. I can ramble about anything and she's always listening." Alex's heart began to race as she talked about Olivia openly to a person she's only seen twice. "I was actually disappointed with her understanding about my career." Alex got sidetracked.

"Disappointed how so?"

"Well she agreed to this stupid Peter and I will have this beard relationship. I was hoping for her to say no that she didn't want me to go with it. I explained how if it were last year I would totally be willing to do some PR stunt like this."

"And what's the problem now?"

"I know this will be good for me to have the 'ideal' image. We have never focused on my lack of dating before and now they want me to put on this charade." Alex sighed out, "And all I want to do is to take Olivia on a date in public. I don't want to be an ideal image, I want to be me."

"Why didn't you tell Olivia or your team this is what you want?"

"Once Lena made her mind up. It's hard to change. And I wanted Olivia's feelings to be okay."

"But if you knew what you wanted, why didn't tell Olivia. You said she's very understanding."

Alex felt really guilty as she's trying to figure out why she wasn't completely honest with Olivia. "I'm not sure." She felt pressure on her chest as she didn't really have any answers.

"Could be that if Olivia told you no, she would be the reason you could do what you want? But instead she said yes you can still do what's expected of you."

"That sounds logical, but that makes me sound like I was using Olivia to be the bad guy. And I would never…"

"Not a bad guy, maybe the word is savior?" Olivet made a better word association with Alex.

"What are you talking about?"

"How much control do you really have of your day to day life?"

"I make some choices, but not alot. My mom had me skating since I was two, I don't even think I had a choice of being a skater." Alex explained. "Everything I was enrolled in ballet, gymnastics was to improve my skating. I was told what I could eat, and what kind of program to have. But that's why I bought my own place at eighteen to get out of my mother's control."

"Why did your mother enroll you at such a young age?"

"She had me at nineteen, being a skater herself. I think she tried to go back the season after she had me, but I guess she couldn't cut it. Which is ashamed because according to my coach she was really good."

"She had you at such a young age, did you ever ask why?"

"Yes, everytime I bring her skating she gets pissed. And I've asked her once or twice why, did she even keep me if she was as good as Liz says she was."

"What was her response?"

Sixteen year old Alex was going through her old photo albums at Jane's parents house. They were getting pieces together for Jane's thirty fifth birthday. She always loved visiting Jane's parent's cozy home in Tulsa.

"Look what I pulled out of the attic." Alex smiled as she walked into the living room.

"What is it baby." Alex's grandmother asked.

"Mom's medals." She picked up a bunch. "First at sectionals, first at regionals, Oh…" Alex got really silent. "Mom has a bronze world medal?"

Jane's mom smirked as she held the medal, "She was a rising star."

"What happened?" Alex was curious about what happened to Jane and her skating career.

"Well your grandparents saw the potential in your mother and offered to sponsor your mother's skating because we couldn't afford it." The older blonde fell silent.

"What's going on here?" Jane asked as she walked in the room as she saw her past medals that she was basically forced to give up.

"Mom, why didn't you tell me you have a world medal?" Alex stood up and walked towards her mother. "This is really cool." Alex complimented her mother.

Jane slowly took the medal out of Alex's hand, "Yeah." She sighed out as she stared at the medal.

"Why would you ever stop skating if you were this good?"

Jane closed her eyes thinking about the days she was pregnant and the non disclosure form and prenup. She threw the medal back into the box, "I thought I told you to throw that stuff away." She glared at her mother.

"But mom…"

"Drop it! Alexandra!" She picked up the box. "Since I couldn't trust you to throw this crap out. I'll do it myself." She walked out of the front door.

Alex was confused and concerned how she's never seen her mother actually have a hurt look on her face. Alex looked at her grandmother, "Did I say something wrong?"

"No kiddo."

Alex followed her mother outside. "Mom." She softly spoke out.

"Drop it Alexandra." She slammed the box into the dumpster.

Alex cleared her throat as she pulled out the bronze medal she was quite impressed with. "Why did you keep me? I know I'm the reason why you stopped skating. Math isn't that hard." Alex laughed nervously as she asked a very serious question to her mother. Jane looked at Alex and didn't know how to explain or tell her daughter her reasons. "Do you regret having me?"

"No." Jane quickly responded she did love Alex. "You are the best thing your father and I created."

"But…"

"But…" Jane stopped as she saw Michael pull in with her father. "Drop it Alexandra. It doesn't matter."

"Hey, hey, hey" Michael got out of the car. "How are my favorite ladies?" He walked over to Alex to give her a hug. "I was thinking we would go out for dinner on a yacht for a pre-birthday dinner. What do you think?"

Jane looked at Alex and Michael standing there hugging, "I really don't care." She sighed out as she walked away.

Olivet's timer went off. "Okay well I think we should stop."

"Do I have any homework?" Alex asked knowing she's had homework.

"Yeah, I want you to try to tell people what you feel immediately and try to do something fun once a day, and when you come back next week I want to know how you feel."

"Okay deal." Alex smiled.