Despite not being a time traveler anymore, Balthazar had a lot of time travel devices. Dakota thought it might rival the B.o.T.T's collection. Balthazar had claimed everything the bureau had had, as well as devices from the other agencies he had taken down. Balthazar thought he'd be able to find things among the devices that might relate to interdimensional travel, since it was kinda time travel's edgy cousin.
Dakota wanted to help look, but Balthazar was insistent that he do this on his own. He didn't trust his own agents to get the devices for him, and he was too protective of Dakota to let him go with him.
"I keep the most dangerous items in the Condemned Corridor." Balthazar said quietly. Dakota thought it was smart, even if it made him a little anxious. What better place to hide time travel devices than in a room separate from time? Not to mention, the Corridor was feared by all time travelers who knew about it. It would take a lot for them to willingly go anywhere near them.
But Dakota didn't want to be afraid, and he didn't want to be babied.
"I'm coming with you." Dakota said, his tone left no room for argument. He knew just how to convince the other man. "I don't want to be left alone again." It was just a small exaggeration. He had thought that he'd moved past needing Cavendish at his side all the time, but with his partner in a completely different dimension, he was feeling his abandonment issues flare up all over again. He knew Balthazar wasn't his partner, but being with him eased his anxiety.
And just like Dakota thought, guilting Balthazar worked. The man groaned, but relented.
"You have too much power over me." Balthazar said. He took Dakota's hand and led him. Dakota just smiled, feeling very pleased with himself. It always felt really good to get Cavendish to give in and do what he wanted.
Woof Woof trailed behind them, barking. She seemed even more upset about Vinnie's absence than Balthazar was. As desperate as Dakota was to keep Balthazar in his sights, Woof Woof was staying as close to Dakota as she could. She had lost her master, she wasn't going to let the same thing happen to this other version of him that she didn't really understand.
"Just be careful." Balthazar said when they reached the Corridors. "I don't like this."
"Two pairs of eyes are better than one." Dakota said. "The sooner we find something we can use, the sooner you'll get Vinnie back home, and the sooner I can get back to Cavendish, where I belong."
"...Yes." Balthazar said. He sounded uncomfortable about something. Dakota gave him an uneasy look, but Balthazar had started searching through the devices. Dakota frowned, wishing the man would talk to him, but what was he supposed to do? They weren't partners. They didn't really know each other. Balthazar just wanted his Vinnie back. As much as he might like Dakota, he couldn't replace Vinnie.
They worked quietly for a few minutes, but Dakota was spending more time looking at Balthazar than looking for some random device that may or may not work. The other man was visibly stiff. He seemed far more bothered about this room than Dakota was, which made sense. For Dakota, the Corridors were scary, but more like a nightmare than anything. It was something that he was convinced couldn't really hurt him. Balthazar though had seen first hand just how dangerous these rooms could be. He had to be thinking about his partner.
Balthazar could really get stuck in his own head. It was Dakota's job to distract him. It was something he was a master of, and he took great pride in it.
"Hey, Balth," Dakota said playfully. Balthazar glanced in his direction, raising an eyebrow when he saw the watch he was holding. Dakota smirked and set the watch on Woof Woof's head. "Look, she's a watchdog. See, 'cause it's a watch, but also because she's really protective. It's a double meaning. Get it?"
Cavendish would always roll his eyes, scoff, and, in a very annoyed voice, say that he got it. Balthazar's reaction was a lot different, but really nice. His eyes shone and he actually laughed. "Yes, yes, I get it."
Vinnie beamed. "You thought it was funny."
"I was laughing at you, not with you." Balthazar said, though there was nothing but good humor in his tone. "You've done better."
"You love me and you know it." Dakota said without thinking. It would usually get Cavendish to get flustered and deny it. Balthazar just gave Dakota a fond smile.
"Yes, I do." Balthazar said easily. Dakota felt his cheeks heat up as butterflies twisted in his stomach. He didn't usually get so flustered because of what Cavendish said to him, but Balthazar was much more at ease with giving out compliments and soft reassurances, and Dakota wasn't used to it.
"You…huh?" Dakota frowned. Balthazar turned his attention completely away from his search as he faced him.
"I love you." Balthazar said. The words made Dakota feel faint in a good kind of way, but it was a bittersweet moment.
"You love Vinnie." Dakota wasn't blind to the relationship between Vinnie and Balthazar. "I'm not him."
"Not exactly, but you are him." Balthazar said. He took Dakota's hands and held them close. "In all the ways that matter, Dakotas are fundamentally the same. When it comes to the details that make you different individuals, well, I would love to have the opportunity to get to know you better, not just as a Dakota, but as you."
"T-that sounds great." Dakota said shakily. It was painfully tempting, but he knew he couldn't go for it. "But we don't have time for that. I've gotta go home, and I don't think regular travel between the dimensions is realistic."
"...You could always stay here." Balthazar said.
"I'm not sure Vinnie would like that." Dakota said awkwardly.
"He would love it." Balthazar insisted. "When we first found out that the Island of Lost Dakotas was purged, we spent weeks trying to find any survivors. We agreed from the start that if we found any Dakotas, we would invite them to join us. That applies to you too."
Balthazar leaned closer to Dakota and put their foreheads together. "You would be happy here. I'll take good care of you, and Vinnie would love the additional company. You wouldn't have to worry about people threatening or demeaning you. You'd be safe, and you'd never have to be alone again."
Dakota bit his lip and drew back from Balthazar. He wrapped his arms around himself. "Don't do this to me."
Balthazar frowned in confusion. "Do what? Did I do something wrong?"
"I can't stay." Dakota said. "I can't leave my Cavendish. I thought you more than anybody would know it."
"He's not good enough for you." Balthazar said sternly.
"It doesn't matter." Dakota said.
"It matters a lot." Balthazar said. "You've given up everything for your partner. What has he given up for you?"
"He gave up his job for me." Dakota said. He took a step back from Balthazar. "I was the one that broke the rules of time travel. I was the one that yelled at Mr. Block. Cav shouldn't have been fired too. He could have groveled and stayed with the B.o.T.T., but he didn't. He stayed by my side."
"Until he left you." Balthazar crossed his arms. Dakota let out a shuddered breath.
Alright, fine, Cav hurt me, and I don't know how to get over it, but that's a me problem, not a him problem." Dakota said. "I didn't do all of this because I wanted appreciation. I just want Cav to be happy, even if what he wants kinda hurts me."
"That's not healthy, Dakota." Balthazar said.
"Oh, and running away to another dimension so I can get involved with a 'better' version of the man I love is the healthiest thing in the world?" Dakota sighed. "Look, I appreciate the offer, really I do, but I promise that I'm not just giving up every bit of myself for Cav's sake. The thing is, if I don't have Cav, my Cav, I don't have anything. I may have given up a lot for him, but it's because I have the empty feeling I get when I let him down."
"Empty?" Balthazar frowned slightly. He sounded confused and concerned, and Dakota realized that the other man might not have been told something that seemed really important right now. "What do you mean?"
"Did Vinnie ever tell you why we called it the Island of Lost Dakotas?" He asked quietly. "It's not like the Dakota's were stuck there, or that I didn't know where they were. They could have theoretically left whenever they wanted. They could have split up and gone anywhere in the world, and B.o.T.T. wouldn't have ever noticed. They could have started a brand new life for themselves, but instead they ran away to an isolated island with only each other for company. Do you know why?"
"No, I don't." Balthazar said. "Vinnie doesn't like to talk about the Island." Dakota could understand that. Whenever Cavendish tried to talk to him about the Island, Dakota would divert the conversation. He felt weird to talk about all of the sacrifices he had made when he didn't feel like he had any other choice.
"We called it the Island of Lost Dakotas because that is what we are without Cavendish." Dakota said. "We…I feel scared, and directionless. I've tried a few times to move on, to let Cav stay dead, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't sleep, I kept on jumping between doing nothing but eating, and not having a single bite all day. I felt depressed, numb, and completely useless. Eventually I couldn't do anything but go back and save him."
Dakota shook his head. "I don't know when it happened, or how, but I became emotionally dependent on Cavendish. Maybe literally he couldn't live without me, but besides the fact that I was breathing, I really couldn't live without him either."
"But the Dakotas were thriving on the island." Balthazar said.
"They were good at pretending." Dakota said. "That's something I've always been good at. As long as I'm around someone who doesn't call me out, like Dr. D, or dozens of other versions of myself, then I'll just keep on acting like I'm fine and nothings wrong. I lie so much to myself because I'm afraid of wallowing."
He rubbed his arms. "That's why I've always thought you were such a good partner for me. You don't let me get away with lying to myself, and you also don't let me just drown in my own sorrows. You keep me focused and grounded. At this point I don't even know how to live without my Cavendish. He's not perfect, but I don't need him to be perfect. I just need him to be there, because I'm lost without him."
Balthazar was still for a long moment before he sighed. "I can't say that I agree, but I believe I understand. If you feel this is what's best for you, I won't try to stop you."
Dakota was relieved, but a small part of him was hurt. The temptation to stay here and be adored by Balthazar, give in to his desire to pretend, it was strong. If he wasn't so worried about what might happen to Cavendish if he left him, he might just give in. If Balthazar kept on fighting for him, he might just give in.
Balthazar gave him a small smile. He gently pulled Dakota close. "Don't think for one second that I'm rejecting you. If you change your mind, or if your partner leaves you again and you need companionship, you're always welcome here."
Dakota felt hope inside of him. "Really? Even just for a visit?"
"Of course." Balthazar gently cupped Dakota's face. It was an intimate gesture that felt so foreign and wonderful. "May I?" He was looking at Dakota's mouth. He swallowed thickly at the question and nodded.
"I mean, I'm not going to change my mind, so don't think you can manipulate me or something." Dakota said.
"I wouldn't dream of it." Balthazar said lowly as he leaned closer. Somehow he managed to make that simple sentence sound like the most charming thing that Dakota had ever heard. His breath was caught in his throat as Balthazar came ever closer until there was only a few inches between them. When Dakota didn't flinch or shy away, Balthazar closed the distance between them and kissed him tenderly.
Dakota felt tears come to his eyes. He liked this, really. It was what he had always wanted from his partner, and Balthazar knew how to deliver. It was a little bittersweet though. Dakota really didn't think that this was something that he could ever have with his own partner, and the knowledge hurt.
Eventually Balthazar pulled away. He brushed the tears from Dakota's cheeks, a sad look in his own eyes. "I'll tell you a secret about your partner that you'll probably never hear either of us admit out loud again, so listen carefully."
"That feeling of being lost without Cavendish, he feels the same way about you." Balthazar said. "He doesn't know what it means, and he copes with it differently than you do, but he does need you as a partner. It will take some nudging to get him to admit it, but if you're going to stay with him then you should at least talk about how you feel."
He kissed Dakota's forehead. "I can't promise that he'll be ready for a romantic relationship, but he's Cavendish, and you're Dakota, so there's at least the possibility."
"Hey, it's more than I ever thought I would have." Dakota joked. Balthazar gave him a slightly scolding look.
"Don't sell yourself short." Balthazar said. "You deserve the world."
"I'll try." Dakota said. "And I'll talk to Cav."
"I'll be holding you to that." Balthazar said. "And at least consider my offer."
"I'll keep it in mind." Dakota promised. He went back to searching for any kind of device they might be able to use or configure to get him home. Balthazar watched him for a moment before he returned to searching himself. He didn't completely ignore Dakota though.
Balthazar scooted so close to Dakota that their shoulders were touching. Dakota's face burned with a blush as he smiled to himself. It would be hard to return to his dimension, where he and Cavendish had always had a hard time just talking to each other. Maybe seeing what they could possibly have was just what he needed to bite the bullet and stop fearing for the worst.
Dakota wouldn't give Cavendish up for a partner for anything, but he couldn't deny that there were times when their partnership hurt and felt like it was too much to handle. If this was what they needed to do to make the pain less, then it was definitely worth the awkwardness and potential heartbreak.
They were partners. That meant both of them. There were a lot of things that Dakota didn't agree with Balthazar about, but he was right about one thing. Lately it sure felt like Vinnie was doing a lot of giving, and not enough taking. Not that he minded, of course, that he was starting to get burnt out, and it wasn't doing either of them any good.
Before this whole mission had started, Cavendish had seemed ready to listen. Dakota just hadn't been ready to talk. After talking to Balthazar though, he thought that he could handle opening up to his own Cavendish. He just had to get back to him first. That was the easy part. Actually talking was when it got hard.