It was her first time working out of the office, and Lana shifted in the metal seat. They had needed her on a surveillance run. Finally out on the street and she was stuck in the back of a nondescript van.
Still, with not being cleared for active duty, it was more than she had been expecting, and she was grateful for the change of scenery.
Not that she had much to look at at the moment.
The back door creaked open, and she glanced up to see Voight stepping in. He shrugged out of his jacket, tossing it over the chair beside Milani's and sat down.
"Anything?" he asked, and Lana shook her head.
"No, it's been quiet."
They were sitting on a house, waiting for a suspect to come home and she had already been here a few hours. She stretched, wincing a little as her left hand twinged. She had hit it on something this morning. It was just bruised enough to be annoying and she shook it out a little as she watched the surveillance feed in front of her.
"That the hand you injured?"
She glanced over, surprised he had noticed, to find Voight watching her.
"From the accident," he continued when she didn't answer right away.
"Oh, no," she dropped her hand in her lap. Of course he had finally gotten around to reading her file. "I just banged it on something this morning."
He hummed a little, watching Lana readjust some of the equipment that didn't seem to need adjusting.
"So it's the other one," he prompted.
"Hmm?" Lana glanced at him, like she had only half heard his question because she was busy. Except Lana wasn't the type to not pay attention.
"It's your right hand that got injured in the car accident." He asked it plainly, and she nodded.
"Yes sir."
Voight shrugged, scratching his chin. "I've never seen it give you any trouble."
He was curious, more by her reaction than anything. He understood keeping personal details away from the job, but an injury that affected her ability to be an officer was as much his business as he wanted it to be, and right now he wanted to know.
"It doesn't most days."
Voight considered that. He had seen cops taken out of action over stuff he never expected. If she hadn't been cleared by medical then she hadn't been cleared. Maybe her attitude now was just frustration, that something that she barely noticed kept her from fully doing the job she loved. She hadn't walked away, had found a part of the job she could do, but sometimes that was harder. To be that close to what you wanted and to have to watch other people get to step in.
"So what happened."
Lana's brow rose a little, Voight was being abnormally talkative and she wasn't quite sure how to take that. He worded questions in a way that prompted information. Direct questions got succinct response. Vague inquiries got people talking.
"You read the file," she countered, and his expression moved, fell into that look that said he was not pleased. Lana pretended not to notice. She had never got to read the file, didn't know how much it reported and how much it didn't.
How many of her lies had made it in to print.
His forefingers flexed from where they were laced against his stomach and she watched them tap in agitation.
"We were having a conversation. I can ask you again, Milani."
His meaning was clear, she didn't get to ignore questions from her superior officer, not about the job, and he was not afraid to pull rank if she wanted to act like their little arrangement meant she got to ignore authority.
Lana sighed. "We were on patrol, were crossing an intersection when another vehicle ran a stop sign from the right and collided with us."
"We?" Voight repeated, and Lana shot him a look.
"My partner and I," she clarified. Either he was testing her details or her hadn't actually read the accident report.
"You were behind the wheel?" Her file had said was she had been injured while driving during a shift, but he found himself wanting to know exactly what happened.
She nodded, gaze slipping to check the monitors, before it glanced back.
"The other vehicle was ruled at fault. I was put on leave while I recovered and when I wasn't cleared for active duty, they transfered me."
Voight pursed his lips a little. "And your partner?"
She sent him a 'what do you mean' look, and he shrugged a little. "If you were hit passenger side they must have gotten pretty banged up."
Lana's lips thinned but she blinked it away.
"No, just a couple scrapes. He's still on duty there."
Voight's brow rose a little, his chair grating against the floor of the van as he shifted. Lana's right hand had been injured enough to take her out of action but the officer between her and the vehicle that had struck them was fine. He had seen stranger things happen, but it didn't sit right.
"He must have been lucky," his comment was met with an unchanging expression, gaze fixed solely on the feed in front of her.
"The other driver wasn't."
Said like an after thought, so quiet Voight almost missed it, and then Lana looked at him. Something too frank and so familiar in her gaze it knotted like a stone in his stomach.
Regret overshadowed the guilt in her eye, but her voice was too clear, too certain. It didn't waver, and somehow that made it seem all the more broken.
"They didn't make it."
Voight didn't speak, didn't even know what to say, when a car pulled up on the monitor and Lana's attention snapped back.
"We got movement."
Voight shrugged into his jacket, and checked his comms. His team was in position and with one parting glance at Lana, they moved in.
'Just do this for me. Please, Lani.'
His green eyes shone bright with a pleading she couldn't ignore. Her adrenaline was up, normal after an accident but her hands wanted to shake, aggravating the pain that was splintering through her forearm. She looked at the damaged police car blankly, shaking her head to clear it only made her feel woozy. She must have hit it in the crash.
'Lani, please.'
The sound of sirens grew in distance. It was usually comforting. Now it sounded distorted.
'Okay' she nodded slowly, growing stronger. 'yeah, okay, I'll do it.'
Relief washed through her partner's eye.
Lana's hand smacked her end table when she jerked awake, and she groaned. That was the second time she had done that this week. She kicked her covers off, feeling the cooler air hit the sweat that had formed in a film on her body. It woke her body up, letting it catch up to her mind that had lost all thought of sleep the moment she opened her eyes.
She barely even looked at the clock, not surprised to see it was just past 4. She never made it to her alarm anymore.
The dreams had been worse. Too real, too much like memory, and Lana walked her dark apartment and stepped into the kitchen. The fridge light was too bright and she squinted away, snatching out an orange juice and chugging it down.
She hated orange juice, but it had enough vitamins to fight whatever was in this heavy Chicago air.
Sometimes she really missed the sunshine.
She killed time. Wouldn't have admitted that's what she was doing but from the moment she woke up she knew she was just waiting til it wasn't too early but still early enough to go knocking on that blasted door.
That had to have been what he meant, when he made it a point to tell her he was up early.
Either way, she was gonna find out.
It was his fault anyway. Asking about that accident had brought back every little detail she convinced herself was forgotten.
The other driver. A young woman, hadn't been paying attention. Maybe it was a text or changing the radio, a simple mistake, not worth dying over. She had bled out beneath Lana's hands. Sometimes she wondered. If they had gotten to her sooner. If they hadn't stop to argue over something that at the time seemed so insignificant, maybe she would have lived. The ME never said.
Lana never asked.
Maybe she should have.
Maybe she should have done a lot of things differently, but she couldn't change that now.
She stepped out of the uber at the end of Voight's block. Walked through the slight chill in the air. It raced across her skin like an unwelcome thought, and she quickened her step.
There were people. not many, but enough for this hour. This city never stayed sleeping long.
She saw the car parked on the street but didn't give it much mind. Assumed it was a neighbour's. It wasn't Voight's. She hadn't quite turned up the drive when the front door opened and Lana stopped.
A woman stepped out. She was pretty, that classy kind of looks that for one bizarre moment reminded Lana of her mother.
The woman stopped, turning to say something to Voight. The street was just quiet enough for Lana to hear her call him 'Hank."
Voight smiled, and there was warmth there, so genuine Lana glanced away. When she looked back the woman had stepped forward, slipped her arms around Voight in a hug that may have been brief, may have been an embrace, Lana didn't know. She was walking away.
Voight waved after Benson. She was going to check in to her hotel then meet them at the office. He had been surprised to see her but after she had brought him up to date on the case that had brought her to his city, he wasn't surprised she hadn't wasted any time.
She had called him from the airport after catching a red eye and he had invited her over, wanting to get up to speed before he called the team in. He grabbed the phone, turning back inside.
He had Erin's contact on the screen but on a whim he backed out, switch to Milani's and hit send.
"Sir?" The sound of wind passed through the call, and her breath was slightly strained, like she had been hurrying. He was a fraction away from asking where she was when he shook his head clear. It wasn't his business.
"I need you at the office. We caught a case."
"Oh. yes sir. I'll head in."
Lana disconnected the call, phone clutched to her stomach she took a slow inhale. When she saw his name she thought for certain he had spotted her but, it would seem at least, that that wasn't the case. She stood for a moment, face to a grey sky, just taking a breath. Then she called an Uber and gave him the address for the precinct.
Lana stepped out of the locker room, tugging her button up in place. She had dressed in a hurry, hadn't showered, and didn't want to be the last one in.
She took the stairs two at a time, slowing as she reached the top and stepped into the office calmly.
The woman she had seen leaving Voight's home stood beside her desk, and Lana just stopped.
"Oh, good morning. You must be Lana. I'm Sergeant Benson."
Lana shook the offered hand, gaze shooting to Voight's closed door.
"Nice to meet you." Lana cleared her throat, dropping her hand at her side. "I guess the others aren't in yet."
"They'll be here." Voight's voice preceded him as he stepped from the break room, somehow rougher than normal. "Olivia," He handed Sergeant Benson a cup of coffee, pale with cream, and she took it with a smile.
"You remembered how I like my coffee." She raised a brow as she took a sip and they shared a look, the comfortable kind that said there was something there. It may have just been simple friendship but having seen them together this morning suggested otherwise.
She had never heard of Sergeant Benson. Maybe she worked out of another precinct. Or maybe Lana's head was shoved so far in the sand she had just missed it entirely. She hadn't realized Voight was involved with someone else.
Not that they were involved. She knew that. Just, what if she had gotten to Voight's five minutes earlier, knocked on the door to have this woman answer it. Her stomach turned at the thought. Standing here was embarrassing enough and she was the only one who knew how stupid she had been.
She could be a real idiot sometimes.
"You alright, Lana?" Benson's voice was kind, watching her with a focus Lana hadn't been expecting, and she blinked twice.
"Yes, of course," she flashed a smile, "Just haven't had my coffee yet."
She was off balance and she knew she was showing it. Felt Voight's gaze on her and forcibly kept her expression neutral. Turning on her heel, she headed for the coffee and stayed in the break room until she heard the others come in.