Chapter title from "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie
Rhiannon looked up from her book Amazing Animagi as Colleen entered the library, ready to settle down with her copy of A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot. Rhiannon gave her Muggle friend a small smile. Colleen had read that book at least twice already, but she still seemed desperate to memorize every detail about the origins of the magical realm. Rhiannon could tell that as the tension of their greater world escalated, and their inner world focused on the new life growing inside Rhiannon's womb, Colleen agonized more and more about her helplessness as a Muggle. Her magical husband and two lovers did everything in their power to reassure her, but their usual serene, sweet Colleen was noticeably preoccupied.
"Is Sirius awake yet?" Rhiannon asked casually. It was a pleasant late March morning, and the sun was already streaming in brightly through the windows of the old house.
Colleen laughed a little and shook her head. "Severus wore him out last night."
Rhiannon threw her head back and laughed too. The four of them had spent quite a few nights together over the past few weeks, much to the witch's delight. Sex between the four of them had finally lost its awkwardness and flowed naturally. And it was amazing. The two wizards still maintained their irritated banter throughout their every encounter, and Severus made it quite clear he was a top when it came to his dynamic with his Gryffindor sub. Sirius made it equally as clear that he wouldn't just roll over and give in. Not without a challenge at least. Truly wolf-pack style. Sirius was certainly a dom with his wife, and perfectly content to be a switch with Rhiannon. Being Severus's bratty sub was icing on a perfectly delicious cake, and they now indulged regularly.
"What are you reading about?" Colleen asked as she curled up in a leatherback chair. The Muggle was radiant this morning in a lusciously soft pink dress, her strawberry gold curls catching the glimmer of the morning sun.
"The limits placed on Animagi during pregnancy," answered Rhiannon. "Turns out all Animagi can safely transform throughout the first trimester. Those of a certain size are still safe in the second, which is good, since my Thunderbird is so huge. No transforming at all in the third though. It's technically illegal, but I'm unregistered so I doubt they'd know. I wouldn't chance it anyway though, that late in the game."
Colleen frowned. "I should hope not."
Rhiannon paused, not sure what to say next. She didn't like the chasm that seemed to form between them whenever the baby was a topic of conversation. Beedle, the little Westie pup, hopped in Colleen's lap and licked her face as if he too were hoping to cheer her up a bit.
"Colleen, I'm sorry about the baby."
"That's ridiculous, Rhiannon. You've done nothing to be sorry for."
"But you're still hurting over it. I can tell."
Colleen wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "It's just complicated, Rhiannon. My logical mind doesn't even want to think about having children. But there's this other voice in my head that won't shut up about it. It's not even a voice, so much as this drive I can't shake. It makes my body desperate. I just want to be with Sirius, all the time, and have him hold me and comfort me. And I want to have wild sex with him, all day."
"Then what's stopping you?" Rhiannon teased.
"The fact that I know I want this because I want to have his children. It's insane. It's my body drowning out my rational thoughts, and I hate it."
Rhiannon felt her expression suddenly turn somber as her intuition caused a nagging thought. "You've asked for the four of us to be together a lot lately. Is it because you're trying to avoid...that? You and Sirius?" Her mind ran a quick inventory of their more recent encounters, and she realized they were nearly all foursomes, where Sirius and Colleen very often had one of the Snapes between them.
Colleen nodded miserably. "But not because I want to. Because I feel like I have to. It's agony though. I want him so much. But I feel like the moment his body crashes down on me I'll be so overwhelmed by him that I give in to this instinct. This drive. I don't even know what it is. It's always been there to a certain degree since I met Sirius, but since you got pregnant, it's out of control!"
Rhiannon stood and grasped Colleen's hands, pulling her into a hug. "Magical bonds can be strange, my love. You're not just married to a wizard, but to an Animagus wizard. So you have the natural pull between a man and a woman, the magical pull between a wizard and his wife, AND the instinctual drive between an Animagus and his partner. A canine one at that. So it's no wonder you're in hormonal overdrive."
Rhiannon sauntered along the library bookshelves next, perusing until she found the volume she had in mind. Luckily Severus had the books organized according to a meticulous system, so it was always easy to find what she needed among the thousands of volumes. She placed their copy of The Most Sacred Bond: Perspectives on Magical Marriages into Colleen's hands, after removing the protective enchantments concealing its contents from Muggles.
"This will be a perfect read for you, love. It will cover everything you're feeling. It will cover soul-bonding too, if you and Sirius still want to consider it."
"I've always felt like we already are," Colleen replied softly.
"It's different from predestined attraction or even a magical marriage," explained Rhiannon. "It's like you truly become one person, even when you're apart. You can't sever from one another, and even basic things require a certain level of either innate understanding or outright negotiation. I know you both expressed some hesitancy when we discussed it before, but read the book and see if you want to revisit it with Sirius. It may put you at ease with some of these feelings?"
Colleen sighed doubtfully and returned to her chair. "But why does it feel so difficult now? Just because you got pregnant?"
Rhiannon squeezed in beside her and snuggled close. "Because our energies are married now too, remember? We've all four practiced sexual magic together. What impacts one pair will impact the other. You'll read it in the book, and it's rather esoteric, but I truly believe that these drives we feel are magical souls begging to be born. Souls that are meant to fulfill their magical purpose on this earth within a certain era of time, and so they plant their seeds in our mind and basically torment us until we obey." Rhiannon laughed and ran a hand softly over her belly. She wasn't due until November, and it was only the end of March. But she was already yearning for the day when she would feel the little spirit inside of her start to come alive.
"Maybe that's why Tonks was so insistent that Remus marry her," Colleen joked. "I think Baby Lupin was on a timeline."
Baby Lupin was due any day now. Tonks seemed blissfully ready, while Remus and Sirius were frantic with anticipation. Sirius had even bought cigars for the occasion, which the two wizards enjoyed on the beach nightly after dinner. Occasionally Severus would join them, but escalating violence at the school and more frequent Death Eater meetings following Bellatrix's return kept him away from the seaside house more often than not.
Rhiannon glanced at the mantle clock and jumped up. "Colleen, I'm sorry to leave you, but I need to freshen up and get to Malfoy Manor. There's a Death Eater meeting late this afternoon, so I'm going to take care of Delphi. I need to take advantage of everyone being occupied in the drawing room so I can sneak down to the dungeons. I'm dying to check on Luna." Her budding maternal instincts had given her a preoccupation with the well being of her sweet little student, and she needed to strike while the Malfoys were distracted.
"Be careful," Colleen warned. "If they catch you messing around with their prisoner..."
"I know," Rhiannon said grimly. "But I've let this go on long enough. I have to at least see how she's fairing. Read the book, okay?"
Colleen nodded, already thumbing through the first few pages. "I love you, witch."
"Love you too, Muggle witch."
Rhiannon was at the library threshold when Tonks came rushing toward her, her face red and puffy, her hand cradled around her baby belly with knuckles white. Remus was at her heels.
"Her father's dead," Remus explained hoarsely. "Killed by Snatchers, along with Dirk Cresswell and a goblin."
Rhiannon clapped a horrified hand to her mouth as Colleen came rushing into the hall. She immediately threw her arms around Tonks, who sobbed uncontrollably.
"I fucking hate this war!" Remus seethed, his towering form on fire with his anger. Rhiannon laid a nervous hand on his arm. They'd never been the best of friends, but she felt his pain, his helplessness.
A sleepy Sirius trudged downstairs, with Ben soon following behind. Severus had long since left to check in at Hogwarts before the meeting at Malfoy Manor. They filled Sirius in on the news about Ted Tonks, and he pounded a fist into the wall, leaving a noticeable indention behind.
"How much more are we going to sit back and endure?" Sirius raged. "We don't know how long this mission of Harry's will take, or if it will ever come to an end. If we keep waiting to take a stand, there will be none of us left!"
"I agree," Remus said vehemently. "I'm going on Potterwatch tonight with Lee to announce this latest round of deaths. And the growing number of Muggle murders— like that family of five murdered in Gaddley this week. People need to get worried, and they need to get angry. We need people motivated to act, and act soon."
Tonks buried her head deeper into Colleen's shoulder, her tears starting back up with another mournful wail. While Sirius and Remus were angry and spurned to action, Tonks just needed time to sit with the news of her dad. Going through such a painful event so close to her delivery date was not healthy at all. Colleen's worried expression as it met Rhiannon's told her she agreed.
"Tonks, let's get you settled on the sofa with some blankets, and I'll get you some tea and those lavender scones I made yesterday, all right?" Colleen suggested.
Tonks shook her head, sniffing loudly. "Thanks, but I need to go to Mum's. She doesn't really have anyone else, being cut off from her family. Remus, I think we should stay there until the baby is born anyway. Those fuckers aren't going to bother her now that Dad's gone. Oops, sorry, Ben."
Ben just raised his little arms up and hugged the witch's leg. He then handed her Beedle, the little white fluff ball licking her tears.
"Why don't you keep him for a bit, Auntie Tonks?" the little boy piped up. "He can make you feel better, until the baby arrives, then the baby will make you feel better!"
Tonks melted. "Aww, Benji, that's so sweet, but I couldn't take him from you."
"Please, Auntie Tonks. See, he likes you!"
Beedle did indeed seem quite content.
"It's fine, Tonks," Sirius said with a smile. "Dogs can make everything better."
Tonks rolled her eyes at that one, but she relented. Colleen went to pack Beedle's things for his extended visit to Andromeda's. Rhiannon went upstairs to bathe and dress for Malfoy Manor, her desire to check on Luna set anew by this latest event. There seemed to be no limits to the evil of which the other side was capable.
Narcissa was waiting in the entry hall with Delphi on her hip as soon as Rhiannon arrived. She couldn't transfer the silvery-blue haired bundle to Rhiannon fast enough.
"She has squawked for three hours straight today," Narcissa lamented. The woman's eyes were heavy, with dark circles, and she looked thinner than normal.
"Is that right, little bird?" Rhiannon cooed, grinning into her sister's defiant violet eyes. They seemed to blink and soften a bit at seeing a smile, their stubbornness replaced with curiosity. The baby girl chewed on her tiny little fist, her little nose scrunched, broad little feet kicking in the air. Rhiannon laughed and buried her nose in the soft skin of Delphi's neck, basking in the remnants of the slowly fading newborn scent.
"How do you always get her to calm down?" Narcissa marveled. "I mean, Draco always responded well to me as a baby, but Delphini acts like I'm barely there. She doesn't respond to Bella either, of course, but Bella never tries. And of course Lucius hardly knows the little thing exists. She seems to like Draco a bit, now that he's home for Easter holiday. He's quite good with her, actually. I think he'll make a fine father someday. Of course we've instructed him never to reveal Delphini's existence to a soul. We're still not certain...what to do about it all..."
"We love her, that's what we do," Rhiannon supplied. "Because if he learns of her existence, we know full well she'll receive none."
Narcissa looked at her quizzically. "You're so quick to assume the Dark Lord wouldn't take pride in his own offspring?"
Rhiannon shrugged, then gave a tiny little flick to Delphi's nose, happy to receive a coo in return. "When has he ever taken pride in anything besides himself?"
"But that's just it," Narcissa argued. "He's part of her. Surely he'll recognize that the minute he lays eyes on her."
Rhiannon lifted Delphi to her shoulder and gave Narcissa a wistful smile. "Maybe," she said indifferently. "Now, you should go prepare for the meeting. Everyone will be here soon."
Death Eaters arrived one by one across the manor courtyard, and Rhiannon watched their black cloaks drift over the flower-lined path from Delphi's nursery on the uppermost floor. They'd placed her room furthest away from the drawing room, to ensure no infant cries were heard in the event of a forgotten Muffliato. Severus arrived last, as usual, wanting to spend as little time engaged in small talk as possible. He raised his gaze straight to the window where Rhiannon watched, and she heard him silently tell her he loved her. He also transmitted a loving thought for the little bean resting in her belly. Rhiannon's heart warmed. Their soul bond was truly a beautiful thing.
Rhiannon sat in an expensive, ornately carved rocking chair with her sister's featherlight form draped over her chest, soothing her to sleep with the gentle rhythm of wood rocking on marble. The pace would easily send Rhiannon into a stupor as well; the pregnancy had her noticeably tired, though luckily not sick like Tonks had been. At least not yet.
Rhiannon startled herself awake just as the sun was setting over the moor, and she glanced at one of Severus's pocket watches she had brought along in her skirt. Moving quickly, she placed Delphi in her lovely chiffon-draped bassinet, then cast a silencing charm over her shoes to ensure her stealth arrival down to the dungeons. Well, she liked to think of them as dungeons. It was actually just a cellar, she saw once she arrived and adjusted her eyes to the dusty dark.
"Luna?" she whispered cautiously, taking a risk at leaving the door cracked to allow some light. A few moments passed before Rhiannon heard a slight stir in response.
"Professor Aspenfell-Snape," the girl replied, her normally bright voice rather dull. Rhiannon would like to attribute its change to the girl's current predicament in the cellar, but she knew it was most likely a lukewarm reaction to Rhiannon herself. Luna had a solitary bruise on her face, and her long white-blond hair was frizzy and matted. But even in a tangle of disheveled neglect, she still had a peace in her eyes.
"Are you all right, Luna?" Rhiannon pressed. "Have they hurt you?"
"A little," the girl answered. "At first. But I don't fight them anymore. There's no point. Not yet, anyway."
Rhiannon swallowed, her eyes raking back over the pathway to the door, wondering if there was any way she could possibly...no. She couldn't compromise Severus like that. He carried their chances on his shoulders nearly as much as Harry Potter did, and if she managed to live after betraying him, she wouldn't be able to live with herself.
"Are you hungry?" Rhiannon continued, trying to inject some hopefulness into her voice. "I've brought you some honey lavender scones. My friend Colleen bakes them, and they're delicious."
The thin girl accepted the cloth wrapped scones gratefully and immediately nibbled at one. "Mmm. Tastes like a Muggle recipe. You can always tell if something is made in a kitchen with only love but no magic. Your friend must be a lovely person though. Do you have Muggle friends, Professor?" The Ravenclaw sounded quite surprised at such, coming from a Snape.
"Yes, my good friend is a Muggle." Rhiannon smiled. "And yes, she is the loveliest person I know. Very serene and strong, just like you." Her smile receded a bit as she looked into Luna's slowly blinking eyes. They lacked the warmth of one recognizing a friend and seemed to evaluate her with a hint of suspicion.
"Luna," Rhiannon began hesitantly. "Things this day in time aren't always what they seem. And like my friend Sirius Black likes— liked— to say, the world isn't split between good people and Death Eaters. We all have light and dark inside of us. You understand that, right?"
"Of course, Professor," Luna replied quietly. "Someone who risks making Bellatrix Lestrange angry in order to bring someone scones cannot be all bad, right, Mr. Ollivander?"
A weak, barely audible grunt was the only response Luna received.
Rhiannon blinked. "What? You're not the only prisoner?"
"No. Mr. Ollivander has been here even longer than I have. The Dark Lord is holding him hostage while he solves some problem having to do with wands. Dean Thomas is here too. But he's sleeping. His clock is a bit scrambled, being down here in the dark all day. It's all a bit discombobulating."
"Oh, Luna, I..." Rhiannon was interrupted by the distant creak of a heavy door being opened above. "Shit!" she whispered. "Luna, keep being brave. You're doing so well, and I have a feeling this will all be over soon. I'm so, so sorry, but I have to go."
Luna nodded in understanding, obviously aware of the impending wrath of Bellatrix Lestrange that she had mentioned earlier. Rhiannon slinked down the long dark corridor leading back to the stairs, noting that the coast still seemed to be clear, as the murmuring congregation of voices remained stationary and at a distance. She found a niche carved into the wall with an ivory statue of some Malfoy ancestor mounted halfway off the ground. She crouched beneath it in the recess, able to see just around the corner if she strained her eyes. Severus was the first to depart, of course, and the others filtered out in suit until only Bella and the Malfoys remained. They engaged in some conversation peppered with haughty laughter for a few minutes before an abrupt knock came at the door.
Narcissa sailed across the entry hall to answer it, and Rhiannon heard a gravelly voice that sounded just like a monster out of a nightmare.
Fenir, she reminded herself. He was such a low ranking member of the Dark Lord's army that she rarely saw him, but his terrifying presence left an indelible mark. He traipsed down the hall on Narcissa's heels along with a few dirty looking Snatchers and a trio of young looking prisoners. A trio...
"I'm going to ask you AGAIN! Where did you get the sword?!" Bellatrix's voice was a high pitched shriek as it resonated off the marble walls.
"We found it...we found it...please!" Hermione Granger's desperate voice pleaded.
Rhiannon had managed to sneak back to the staircase, in all the chaos, and find a spot on the third floor where she could see over the stair railing to the drawing room below. She was careful not to move even an inch, but she planned to make up a story of looking for more nourishment potions for Delphi in Bella's third floor bedroom, if caught.
"You are lying, filthy Mudblood, and I know it! You have been inside my vault at Gringotts! TELL THE TRUTH!"
Hermione's scream was gut wrenching. The girl lay writhing on the stone floor, Bellatrix looming above her with a snarl, each shriek shattering through the girl's skull, as their faces weren't even an inch apart. Her wand was pressed to the Hermione's body and inflicting Merlin knows what kind of torture.
How could a mother relish in torturing a young girl— someone else's daughter? How could Rhiannon's own father consort with such a demonic witch? She stood for no overarching goal, no higher purpose other than blind devotion to him. If she were capable of such cruelty, what would stop her from reacting this way if Delphi spilled milk, or broke a glass, or became too dirty playing outside? The witch was completely volatile and unglued.
"...tell me the truth, or I shall run you through with this knife!"
This continued for what seemed like ages...accusations...shrieks...tortured screams, streaks of light sending curses to the poor girl's shaking body. Hermione insisted the sword that stood there in the drawing room was a copy, but of course Rhiannon knew it was the one bestowed upon Harry by Severus in the Forest of Dean. Suddenly Hermione's screams became more labored, more desperate. Bellatrix leaned over the girl again, this time with a gleaming silver knife in one hand and Hermione's arm in the other.
Oh, gods, no. Rhiannon felt nauseous for the first time since the baby was conceived, though she was sure it had nothing to do with pregnancy. It wasn't long before the girl's screams faded to whimpers as she resigned herself to her fate and gave up fighting. Rhiannon felt punched in the gut, wracked with guilt, wanting more than anything to intervene. But what could she do, one witch against the Malfoys, Fenir Greyback, and Bellatrix Lestrange? And anything she did manage to do would jeopardize the greater goal beyond repair. She felt her first true understanding of how Severus must have felt so many times before— rendered helpless, ineffective, and laden with a horrible guilt.
The rest of the agonizing encounter was a blur. A goblin was brought upstairs to testify as to the sword's authenticity. He corroborated Hermione's story, surprisingly. Goblins usually had loyally to no one. Harry and Ron somehow broke free...they charged to Hermione's rescue, but Bellatrix held the girl hostage with a knife at her throat. Disarming...the claiming of wands...Draco and Harry in a row, as always, but spurred on by Lucius and Narcissa...Bellatrix promising Hermione as a present to Fenir Greyback.
It was all a murky twist of repulsive, hopeless terror. Rhiannon was convinced the trio would never make it out alive. This would be the end. Bellatrix would soon call the Dark Lord, and he and Harry would have their final battle, right here, with Severus and Sirius and Colleen cozy at home, none the wiser. Would Rhiannon intervene? Should she? Would Severus want her to, when it was down to the final few moments? How could one ever know for sure what to do in situations like these? There was no true answer; there was only intuition, and hope...
Delphi's tiny little screech sounded from one more floor above, a sound not unlike her mother's, and likely the only way the little baby knew she had a chance of attracting attention. Rhiannon sprang to action, her only thought being Delphi in that moment. There wasn't much she could do in this horrible nightmare of an evening, but she could love Delphi and allow the child the security of having her needs met, even if just for one night.
How can I leave her, though, in a place like this? How could she grow up here and turn into anything but a monster?
As Rhiannon reached the nursery door, a thunderous crash and shatter of glass rang through the manor. She rushed back to the rail with a gasp. A chandelier had fallen— once gigantic, magnificent— now reduced to shards on the stone floor. Scrambling...chaos...
Within seconds, the trio was gone.