Chapter 2: DeSantis makes a friend

Within days, the entire world was engulfed in chaos. President Biden was hiding in his bunker as Vice President Harris turned into a zombie and started eating the rest of the cabinet. Around the world, governments were collapsing to the new zombie order. France surrendered within a minute of the zombies breaching Paris. Poland held out until Warsaw was reduced to rubble and zombie parts. Russia tried to starve the zombies to death, but the zombies were not interested in food. They were interested in blood!

DeSantis was alone in his basement with nothing to do. Most of Florida, and the United States for that matter, were now zombies. He would lose re-election for sure now and there was nothing he could do about it. Defeated, DeSantis decided to turn on the television to see what he could find that wasn't about a depressing post-apocalyptic nightmare. He decided to watch Attack on Titan.

"Damn, that Mikasa girl is hella fine," DeSantis grinned, gripping his crotch with his right hand. He only wished that he had a Mikasa in his life to get him through the perils he was faced with. DeSantis wasn't much of a weeb, but he wished he had a nice anime waifu from time to time (who doesn't lol). Mikasa was tough and brave, a perfect girl for DeSantis. He was turned on by tough and brave people like the former President, but unfortunately, Trump had become a zombie and his family locked him in the mar-a-lago basement for their own safety. DeSantis now needed a new waifu, and Mikasa was the perfect candidate. Only problem was she wasn't exactly real.

DeSantis steadily observed the way Mikasa slashed the titans without breaking a sweat. Unlike bitchboy Eren, Mikasa could always hold her own. All DeSantis could think about was how he was way more deserving of Mikasa's love than Eren.

Am I getting jealous… of a cartoooon? DeSantis gasped. He was disgusted yet aroused by his thoughts.

Suddenly, DeSantis heard a knock at the door. He immediately went to grab a shotgun in the typical Florida-man fashion, prepared to blast the intruder. As he peeped through the window to see who it was, he was shocked to find the Commissioner of Agriculture Nikki Fried. A Democrat, Fried hated DeSantis with all her might. DeSantis was almost tempted to pull the trigger, but he had been deprived of female contact for so long that he thought it was worth letting her come in.

"Hello DeSantis," Nikki Fried smiled seductively, which came as a shock to the Governor. Why was she acting this way?

"I have a secret I must share with you, Ronald," Fried whispered. "I'm not actually Nikki Fried. Nikki Fried never existed."

With that, she pulled off her mask to reveal a young and beautiful face that DeSantis recognized from his television.

"My name is Mikasa Ackerman," she exclaimed. "From this day forward, I will be your waifu!"

DeSantis planted a wet kiss on Mikasa's mouth and closed the door behind them as they made their way to the bedroom.

TO BE CONTINUED!