Chapter 39 – I Trust You

Happy New Year

After Regulus appearance in the Gryffindor common room, he finally made a decision to sit at the Gryffindor table. Izzie had to reassure him that it didn't matter if his parents found out, because he was off age now. So, for the first time in years, probably, a snake sat among the lions. Some Gryffindors shot him a nasty look, but quickly ducked away when Izzie or Sirius glared at them. Izzie was sitting next to Reg with Remus on his other side. Right across from her sat Sirius, Lily, James and Peter. She was just chatting with Sirius about tapes for his Walkman when a pretty sixth year girl slid on the bench next to him.

"Hi, Sirius." She said with a flirty smile. Lily rolled her eyes excessively at Izzie, making it hard to control a chuckle.

"Heidi." He nodded at her before he turned back to Izzie. "Have you heard the new-"

"I was wondering -" Heidi interrupted, trailing a finger over his arm. "If you wanted to come with me to Hogsmeade next weekend?"

"I do not." He picked up her hand that was on his arm and placed it on the table.

"Why not?" She pouted, which she thought would look cute.

"Because I'm not interested, just like I wasn't when Gwendoline asked."

"I mean, yeah, I get why you said no to her. Gwendoline isn't the most -"

Izzie couldn't help but interrupt because Gwendoline was just one of the sweetest people she had met, and she was there when she asked out Sirius. She was shy and nervous. Sirius let her down so gently it made Izzie fall even harder for him.

"I suggest you stop what you were about to say. If anyone has a chance with Sirius, Gwendoline would sure top you, sweetheart. So, I suggest you just scamper off." She waved her hand. The others all snickered, while Sirius beamed at her.

"I -" Her mouth dropped open and she turned to Sirius. "You can't just let her talk to me like that!"

"And why not?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "She's right. And besides I'm not available."

"You're not available?"

Sirius suddenly jumped on the bench and gathered the attention from everyone near him. What is he doing? Izzie mused with a grin.

"Can I have everyone's attention?" He asked, twirling around on the bench. He didn't need to ask, he gathered attention faster than bees on honey. "Although I am extremely flattered that you all want to go out with me, I am rather irresistible." Izzie snorted in her drink, while the others made the same nose around her. Sirius ignored them, his chin held high as he continued. "But I am off the market, so please stop drooling over me -"

"I thought he couldn't get worse." Regulus muttered to Izzie, which made her laugh. Sirius glared playfully at them before turning back to his 'fans'.

"And stop asking me out. I think my girlfriend," Izzie heart skipped a beat. They haven't actually discussed what their relationship was right now, but this would describe it best to be honest. Remus and James wiggled their eyebrows at her. "Would appreciate if you all backed off. Thank you." He bowed.

"Who is she?" A Ravenclaw asked before Sirius could climb down.

"Someone very special to me. And I don't want you to bother her, so I rather keep her all to myself thank you." With that he flopped back down on his seat. Heidi looked at Sirius for another moment, but when he didn't acknowledge her, she stormed off. Whispers broke out over the whole room as they speculated who it might be.

"So, you have a girlfriend?" Izzie asked with raised eyebrows. "Why wasn't I informed?" She couldn't help but smirk as Sirius eyes bulged out of his head.

"I - no, - Izzie, I didn't-" He stopped blabbering when she shot him a wink. Sirius got that goofy smile on his face which made the others fall into a fit of laughter.

"I didn't think it was possible, but he's even worse than Prongs." Remus laughed.

Sirius wanted to throw his mashed potatoes at him but decided against it since he was right. He never imagined being in this position, but here he was. And he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

"If you keep looking at her like that, everyone will know by the end of the day." James smirked and clapped Sirius on the back of the head.

"I wasn't looking." Sirius mumbled but his eyes were still on her. She shot him a shy smile before breaking eye contact and turned to his brother. Which was for the best because if she didn't, he would've thrown all caution to the wind and flung himself at her.

OoO

Sirius had just come back from Hogsmeade. He had gone with Lily and James but seeing them all over each other made him miss the one who he wanted to spend a day with at Hogsmeade. He shrugged off his jacket and scarf as he bounded up the stair to his dorm. He sighed as he pushed the door open and threw his things on his bed.

"Oi!" A very familiar voice called out from under his coat.

"Izzie?"

The girl in question appeared when she removed his jacket from her head. She had her arms crossed over her chest as she glared at him. Sirius didn't know what he was seeing, Izzie was sitting cross-legged in his dorm, on his bed.

"Can I help you?" She licked her lips as she smirked.

His eyes stayed on her lips a second too long before he snapped to her eyes. "I should ask you that. You're on my bed. Why are you on my bed?" My bed, my bed, my bed! Sirius screamed in his head.

"I wanted to give Remus and your baby brother some time alone."

"Please don't say baby brother in the same sentence as Remus and alone time." He groaned and sat down on the edge of his bed. "Still doesn't explain why you are in my bed instead of Remus's."

"If you mind so much, maybe I should move." She said, feeling a bit offended. Already moving to climb out.

"No, no wait! That's not what I meant." He held out his hand. "I've dreamt of you in my bed more times than I care to admit. So, it felt like a dream when I saw you sitting here."

"Really? And what do we do in this dream?" She asked innocently, biting back a grin. Sirius neck turned red as he rubbed it. "I love making you blush."

"I don't blush! Blacks don't blush!"

"Right, I think I've lost count on how many times I made the Black brothers blush." She mused as she tapped her chin. "But there is something I want to talk to you about."

Sirius straightened his back at her tone. "Is this about me calling you my girlfriend, because I -"

"No." She was the one blushing now. "I didn't mind, I kind of liked the sound of it."

"Then I can't wait to scream to the world that you are the one that captured this bachelor's heart." He chuckled. He shifted on the bed until he sat cross-legged in front of her. "What is it then?"

"We've become close these past months, really close. With the whole not being able to see each other of the summer and now the not touching, we talked. A lot. And it made me realise that I wanted to tell you."

"Tell me what?" He hoped for three specific words but knew it would be too soon for her.

"Everything." She took in a deep breath. "I want to tell you about my childhood and what happened over easter break."

"You don't have to."

"I want to. I trust you, Sirius." She said that while she held his gaze. Even with the resistance, she intertwined her fingers with his, squeezing them tightly together. She let go when the push came too much. Sirius was looking at her stunned, unable to speak. He wasn't over the shock of her on his bed and now she was telling him that she trusted him again.

"My childhood was filled with love and laughter. My parents loved me and each other. But that all changed when my father reconnected with my uncle, I was about five then. My uncle was always fascinated with dark magic and had disappeared for years after my father wed my mother. When my father became more interested in the dark side, my mother tried to get us away from him. But that got her killed. I don't know if it was my father, or my uncle or someone they hired to do it, but she was gone. My father moved us away from prying eyes. That's when I met Remus. My father didn't know his mother was a muggle, he just knew the name Lupin was a Pureblood name, that's why I was always allowed to hang out with him. Remus, of course, became my best friend in just a few weeks. After the move, after my mum... Everything changed. It started with verbal abuse and keeping me locked up when I did something wrong, how small it may be. When I came back from my first year at Hogwarts -" She took in deep breath. "That's when the physical abuse began."

"Izzie."

She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. "Please, let me say this otherwise I don't think I'll be able to say it again."

"A-alright." Sirius frowned and he hated how he couldn't hold her. He never hated it more than right now.

"The first two years it was just a slap in the face or a kick. But then they both ganged up on me. My father and my uncle they were cruel. They've broken 5 bones over the years, I think. Then amused themselves with curses." Izzie glanced up at him and grabbed his hand, pushing against the force that is determent to keep them apart. "I need you to promise to stay calm and let me finish for what I have to say next, alright. Only Remus knew about this, and now Regulus. Promise me."

"I promise." He was so afraid at what she might say but she squeezed her hand. And even though there was the inevitable push they held on.

"The summer after I turned fifteen my uncle took an interest in me." Sirius's anger flared up and held his breath. "He forced himself on me." Her tears were starting to cloud her sight, but she kept her eyes on Sirius and held his hand more tightly than ever. "That happened a bit more than a handful of times. I couldn't push him away; he was too strong. And since I wasn't of age yet, I couldn't use my magic. At easter when Reg brought me here... he saw it happen, he pulled my uncle off me and got me out of there."

Sirius leaned over slowly, giving her time to pull away but she didn't. He engulfed her in a tight hug, and she broke. She hated it but she started to sob into Sirius chest. He didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say. He knew telling her everything would be okay wouldn't do her any good. So, he tried the dome spell around them for the first time since she taught him, and he was glad that it held because he didn't want to let her go.

She started to calm down after a while and she murmured in his chest. "I understand if you don't want to pursue this, us I mean. Now that you know that I'm not only damaged but tainted."

"What?" He pulled back slightly and cupped her cheek. She looked up at him with red stained eyed. "I love you, Izzie. Nothing you say will make me love you less, make me want you less. You are the strongest and bravest woman I've ever met. You've been through so much; you are still going through so much and still you can smile and love the ones around you. You still let people in, you let me in."

"There are so many other girls with less baggage than me." She whispered.

"I don't want anyone but you. And I'll never will." He leaned down and kissed her softly.

Her hands grasped the front of his shirt and pulled him down on the bed. It was the first time they were laying down like this, their body's flush against each other. She turned them around without breaking the kiss, so she was on top of him. Sirius hands stayed firmly on her hips, after her confession, he was afraid to let his hands wander. Hers on the other hand, slipped underneath his shirt. Her nails dug into his chest and his grip on her hips tightened. Since the dome was tight around them, they couldn't really move, so she couldn't straddle him. After a few minutes, she felt the dome break. She rolled of him, and with a spell made sure he didn't go flying through the room. They laid down next to each other, only centimetres apart. Their breathes ghosted over each other.

"Thank you for trusting me again. For trusting me with this." Sirius whispered as his fingers traced the air above hers.

"Sirius, I -" She was interrupted when the door flew open, and Peter came in eating from a bag of candy, making rather disgusting noises. He stopped when he saw them laying there, he went red and ducked in his bed.

"We should get you back to Reggie." Sirius said.

"Yeah." She nodded. The whole way back they didn't talk but walked closely next to each other. Sirius mind was going miles an hour as he processed everything she had just told him. He glanced at the witch beside him. The witch who had gone through so much and still opened up so easily with others. The love he felt for her was indescribable, and now that he knew what she had been through made him love her even more because she was so strong. He needed to find a way to undo what his parents and her family did, even if it was the last thing he did. He knew he didn't have much time, so after he bid her goodnight, he went to the library.