Chapter 13: Catharsis

Continuation of 'Building'. I swear to god this story was originally meant to be nothing but cracky fluff.

"Why are you determined to hate me?"

It was a ridiculously question. Why hate the shitty priest? Why shouldn't he hate the filth that pervaded his life? He almost laughed bitterly, but instead Satan found himself up and storming away without a word. Or would have, if Shiro hadn't grabbed his wrist with surprising strength and iron will.

"Let go of me." Before he did something rash and finally acted on his urge to rip the man's throat out with his teeth.

"No. We are going to settle this here and now." Shiro pressed forward, damn the consequences of now because what would inevitably happen later otherwise was so much worse, "Can't you see what this is doing to Yukio?"

The demon snarled, ripping himself free from the shitty priest's strong grip and whirling around. He was practically crouching, wound tight and ready to lunge. It had to happen someday, and today seemed like a great day to finally claw the cancer out of his life, "What the hell do you care about Yukio? He isn't your kid!"

A part of Shiro almost wished he'd done what so many other foster parents had and hadn't ever mentioned how adoption worked. Except no, he wouldn't have been allowed to: Rin was too smart and too confrontational for that to not have ended terribly, "Maybe not biologically, but he is still my child, and I won't let anyone hurt him. Not even you, Rin."

Satan hissed, insulted beyond words, "I would never-!"

"Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even years from now, and maybe not ever. But today you could have died. Rin, I almost had to explain to Yukio that his big brother was dead!" Shiro realized he was shouting now and breathed deeply, drawing his calm inward and expelling the anger, the fear, "I won't let you do that to him, and I won't let you continue to hurt him."

"I do not hurt Yukio."

It was a statement of fact, and Shiro realized just how hard this was going to be. How was he supposed to convince Rin to see beyond himself for once? "Yes you do. Every time we fight, we both hurt him a little bit more. Every time we fight, he isn't sure whose side to take: his loving father or his precious big brother. Picking a side means losing someone he loves."

Satan sneered. Like that mattered to him. "I wouldn't mind if he lost you-"

"But Yukio cares! Whether or not you like me isn't the point, you two are different! Even if you hate me, Yukio doesn't, and you can't change that!"

"I'm not-!" Not ignoring Yukio's feelings, except the words, as soon as the swelled up, tasted familiar. Something Satan knew intimately, bathed in and spewed so regularly there was no way even the slightest hint of flavor would escape his tongue.

A lie.

"I'm not…"

Except he was. All because he was so old and knew things Yukio couldn't about the Paladin before him. Hidden under all that fatherly kindness was a man who'd taken everything from him without a thought, without caring that it meant he had to destroy someone else to steal from the devil.

The sudden silence was hungry, devouring the raging emotions trapped in the room. Shiro saw Rin visibly slump, the will to fight slipping from the boy's heart like sand. Except it was a lie, an illusion brought on whenever one was forced to come to a realization they hated. There was only of two ways this would go, and Shiro already knew Rin well enough to see it building.

"If this goes on, it won't be just me he hates, Rin. He'll hate both of us, and he'll hate himself."

The emotions burst, scattering ugly bits and pieces of "What the fuck do you want? For me to love you, for us to be a happy family? Like hell!"

Shiro had damned and burned others once for his faith, why wouldn't he do it again? This was all fake, some lie the shitty priest indulged himself in to rid himself of his guilt. Satan was happy to play along for so long as it benefited him, but he wouldn't ever let his guard down. The man had no real will of his own Satan had decided, but was a strong puppet. A strong puppet that might be fine playing house for now, but one day he'd have to burn it before it took away his heart again.

"Rin, I'm not-"

"Shut up! Do you think I'm fucking stupid? Adopting Yukio and I, trying to pretend that you care? This is just some game for you isn't-"

The sound, almost like a whip crack, echoed in the small room. The pain registered only faintly, an afterthought even as Satan gingerly touched his redden cheek. Slowly, he turned his head back towards Shiro, seeing the man standing tall, hand still raised and fury in his eyes. Cold, calculated, detached, eyes that looked down on him with disappointment.

Shiro's voice was thunderously even, sharp words spoken with absolute authority. "Don't you ever even imply I don't care for you and Yukio, Rin."

But Satan didn't hear a word of it, his ears ringing and the room spinning with the sudden rush of raw feeling. He'd always had a bad habit of letting things fester in his heart until it rotted away to nothing. Yuri had noticed, scolded him for it, and insisted he open up to her gentle eyes. She'd been the only one who'd known what the devil kept locked up in his heart, petty little worries and insecurities, and she'd taken it all in stride.

Yuri.

Yuri, who was no longer here.

Yuri, who was no longer here, because of the Exorcist before him.

The giggle that bubbled up from the depths of his blighted chest was the sound of a falling blade.

"Ha! Resorting to violence already, are we? Finally!"

And then Satan had tackled Shiro, hands wrapping tightly around a neck between one blink and the next. The weak skin gave under his grip, choking the shell-shocked priest in a matter of seconds, and toppling him to the ground. Satan kept his hold the whole time, feeling a mad grin pull itself onto his face. Ah, he must really look like a demon now, the smile tearing his face in half and eyes dilated as he let the bloodlust peak.

"I don't care what you say, you fucking priest, but I won't let you trick me! I know your game; I know you'll get sick of us both one day, and then what? I know what you'll…do…?"

Arms had encircled him, pulling Satan closer instead of pushing like a filthy Exorcist should have. Embracing his violence, embracing his madness and raw feelings even though he should run, should be afraid, he should hurt me.

Slowly, Shiro spoke through a grip Satan hadn't even realized he'd slackened. Choked, wheezed words that should have meant nothing to a demon as ancient as him…and yet those very words broke something inside him. Something that screamed as it died, clawing and scrapping at his very heart as it shattered to pieces. It took something with it, leaving his heart scrapped raw of…something.

Satan stood, feeling…odd.

Different. Almost as if he could finally- No. No, there was no way.

When Shiro stood with a handful of coughs and only an absent rub at the nasty handprints collaring his neck, Satan let him. The demon looked up at the man, face carefully neutral.

"You're serious?" He asked, even though the pure truth of the words rang in his ears.

"Of course," Shiro winced at the sound of his own wheezing voice. Rin had…quite the grip, and he potently ignored how close he'd come to being strangled to death, "what do you take me for?"

An Exorcist, Satan thought bitterly, but it was distant and fleeting, "If you're lying, I'll fucking kill you."

"I'd expect no less," And maybe that statement was a little too accurate Shiro thought, swallowing a few times in a vain attempt to sooth his abused throat, "But I do want you to stop pretending that Yukio wants the same things you do. Because right now, he just wants us to stop fighting."

Satan arched a brow. The demon would have thought the traumatic experience of nearly being choked would have shifted the shitty priest's priorities a little bit, but apparently not. The man was nothing if not persistent and laser-focused when he wanted to be.

"Can you do that, Rin? You don't have to love me, or even like me, but can you stop taking every chance you can find to try and hurt me?" Maybe Shiro was being too generous when things had finally escalated to physical violence, but there was…something in Rin he couldn't just ignore. No, the boy couldn't possibly be a true demon if such simple words could calm him.

The king of Gehenna huffed and turned away, "No promises."

"Thank you, Rin."

There was no acknowledgement that Satan had even heard as he threw open the door and walked out. He felt entirely too tired and wanted nothing more than to sleep even when it was barely past noon, and the door slammed behind him.

Shiro chuckled- he'd seen the half-misstep Rin had made.

And then he winced. Right, first his throat.

"Are things good between you and dad now?" Were the first words Satan heard when reached his room. Yukio has set aside his homework and looked up at his twin with bright, clear eyes.

Something about that nagged Satan, but he was still too confused about what he'd just done to really think about it. Were things between he and Shiro good now? No, certainly not, not even after…that, but maybe he could finally let go of some of his paranoias. Not today, and not all of them, but surely, there was more to that man than-

Satan cut the thought short. That was dangerous territory to get into, "Well, I wouldn't say good, but…Alright. Sure, let's go with that."

"I'm glad."

There was something wrong with the way Yukio said that. He looked just a little too smug, almost like he was pleased with himself. But what could he…?

It clicked and Satan whirled, gaping as he tried to find the words, "You…! You little-!"

"Me?" Yukio might have tried to sound oblivious, but he suddenly looked just a little panicked, and Satan knew he had him.

"Don't act all innocent! I see right through you, you faked all that!"

There was a moment of flailing, but Yukio knew he'd been caught, "Well, not all of it. I really don't like it when you and dad fight…I'm sorry, Rin!"

That…He wasn't sorry at all! Yukio was Yuri's perfect child, smart, kind, everything good in the world, and yet…! And yet-!

"You lied to me! Lied! To me!" Satan gestured frantically, trying to make sense of his world again. It wasn't even that Yukio had lied, as impossible as that seemed, it was..."And it worked!"

Yukio might have been worried, except Rin had a stupid, disbelieving, grin on his face. Lies were bad so you weren't supposed to tell them, and their dad was always disappointed when someone lied, so why…? "You're not mad?"

"Mad?" Satan squawked and pounced, Yukio squeaking as he was swept up in a suffocating hug and off his feet by uncanny strength, "No, I'm so proud of you! I'm finally rubbing off on you!"

It was incredibly reassuring to have proof that Yukio was also his, and a knot he didn't even realize existed loosened, uncoiling tension in his chest.

He set Yukio down and patted him on the head with an unnerving smile, "Oh, but don't ever lie to me again, ok?"

"But you-"

"It's my fault for being tricked," A dangerous policy, but only for the fools of the world, "but now that I know you can actually lie, well, you won't ever fool me again. You're free to try, but if I catch you lying to me, well…" Satan leered, and gestured with his hands.

Yukio visibly paled and nodded furiously. He scampered away with the sound of his brother's unnerving cackling echoing in his ears. A teasing drawl of his name made the young boy shudder in fear.

Why oh why did he have to be ticklish?

The next day, when the other Exorcists questioned the bruised they could see peaking above Shiro's collar even after he'd pulled it high, he wove a very elaborate, very detailed story about a late-night rendezvous with a, ah, very 'blessed' woman until he was waved off. His men clearly didn't believe a single word of it, but they at least trust him to tell them if something serious had happened.

If only they knew.

When Rin snorted juice up his nose at the not-so-subtle innuendos Shiro had made (much to Yukio's confusion), the Paladin easily put the thoughts of yesterday behind him for more pressing matters. The greatest being checking the parental controls every electronic in the house. Rin's smirk had been far too knowing for any eight year old.