Striker, Seth, and Kore join in the clash against the cherubs over a greedy, rich old man. Things sure do happen!
Vol 6: C.H.E.R.U.B.
"Well, howdy! I'm Cletus! Welcome to Heaven! Guess you did something good to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessings!"
On TV, it showed a human cherub with white skin, apple cheeks, purple eyes, red hair, and white angel wings white the outer wings purple. He wore red overalls with white buttons, a yellow shirt underneath it with a white collar, and purple shoes.
In the commercial there was footage of people dying in various ways, but Cletus along with the other two sheep cherubs assured viewers in song form that their loved ones could be saved, thanks to the cherubs.
Kore and Seth sat in the I.M.P. office as they watched. They looked up from whatever they were doing, curious about this commercial.
"Mom, what's a cherub?" Seth asked.
"Oh, honey, a cherub is a small angel," Kore answered.
"Yeah, just think of it as the opposite of an imp," Striker said, twirling his blessed pistol in boredom. Yet, he and his family visit Charlie at the Happy Hotel sometimes for support of her passion project, which was sending sinners that she saw as redeemable to Heaven. They'd even drop in a coin to donate money for charity. Even he felt sorry for certain sinners, whether they were abused or mistreated, especially by overlords, knowing his experience with them in the past.
The jingle came to a close when a gunshot hit the TV screen.
Seth, Kore, and Striker turned to see who caused the racket.
"Nice one, B!" Millie chirped.
"Blitz!" Seth scolded, "We were just watching it!"
"Well, it's over now, kiddo," Blitzo told him as he blew smoke from his flint pistol. To Moxxie, he added, "Gimme another, Mox!"
Moxxie nervously brushed off the flaming debris with his hand and replaced the broken TV with a new one. He turned it on.
The first thing that appeared on TV was the 666 news.
Blitzo filled his flintlock pistol with gunpowder. "Eh, nah. Not feelin' it. Next!"
Moxxie switched the channel.
The next channel was in black and white with a demonic Betty Boop holding a pitchfork as she danced erotically.
Repulsed by the image on TV, Kore covered her son's eyes and covered her own eyes.
Striker shook his head with annoyance at the disgusting display on TV while Blitzo and Millie looked bored.
"Uh-huh. Keep going, keep going, keep goin'..." Blitzo twirled his gun around a bit.
Moxxie changed the channel.
Wally Wackford appeared on screen, dressed in white with a baby blue vest and black bowtie, wearing a top hat with blue rim (same color as his vest), and long black boots, and holding a cane. He had long slightly curved black and white horns, white hair, a long black curly mustache, and black fingerless gloves.
"I say, I say! Are you lookin' to get work making crazy contraptions and goofy gadgets? WELL, call me at Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea Factory!" he announced.
The title he mentioned appeared in a circle like in an old classic cartoon.
"Where you make the things and I make the money!" With a pleading face on screen, he added, "Please! I'm very desperate!"
"Bingo!" Blitzo smirked, cocking the gun as he did. He aimed his gun at the TV again.
BANG!
"WOO! You're on a roll, sir!" Millie cheered.
"Don't encourage him, Mildred," Striker told her, "TVs are expensive. Not to mention, it wasn't nice of him to shoot the TV when Kore and Seth were watching something."
"I was bored and needed to get ready for the next kill," Blitzo whined.
"Not by shooting a bunch of TVs!"
All of a sudden, the office started to shake.
Loona had just woken up from her nap and her cup spilled. "Guys, do you feel that?" she asked.
"What's going on?" Seth asked.
"I don't know, sweetie," Kore replied.
"Oh, shit! Is that a hellshake?" Blitzo asked.
"That's possible," Striker said.
Millie noticed her husband shooting his tail up in fear, so she held him close to her. "Alright! Don't panic, Moxxie!"
"I'm not 'panicking'," Moxxie retorted, using his fingers as quotes, "Because hellquakes don't happen."
But Loona knew otherwise. She roughly grabbed hold of him and shook him violently. "STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL, FATTY!" she snapped as she threw him across the room.
Moxxie hit the wall and was knocked down further by what looked like a wrecking ball with black tubes. Part of the wall broke and landed on top of Moxxie. Out of the smoke appeared a supervillain-like figure, who entered the office through a hole.
Loona growled at him on all fours on a table.
"Do not be afraid!" said the man. He smirked as he extended his metal contraptions into loops.
The man in question had reddish pink skin, a big black mustache, and red bent horns. He wore neon green glasses with dark green swirls and a blank band, black top hat with a green rim, green turtleneck, black suit with a green question mark to his crotch, black pants, green boots, red cape and gloves.
"Please tell me you got that insurance thing," said Blitzo.
Millie pulled out a sharp, black ax.
"Who are you, and what do you want?!" she demanded.
The same sinner slid before her and Blitzo with the black loops, stepping in between the two, doing a villainous pose. "I am Loopty Goopty!" he replied and added in a singsong voice, "Dastardly inventor of all things loopy and loopiiiiiish!"
"Coulda just used the door, dude," said Loona with her hand on her hip, "Doesn't need to be this whole thing." She waved a dismissive hand.
The man called Loopty paid no mind to the annoyed hellhound. "I am eccentric, and must therefore do eccentric shit!" He did a wavy dance.
Blitzo sniffed him and recoiled in disgust, wincing at the smell.
"Ugh! This old fuck reeks of the living world. Did you just die?" he asked.
"YEEEEES! Moments ago, in fact! Which is what brought me HEEEERE!"
"So what are you here for?" Kore asked.
Loona tapped on her phone with a scowl. "Just sayin'... the front door would've gotten you here fine," she said, still mad at Loopty for not listening to her.
"Shut up, dear furry!" Loopty Goopty retorted, holding up a finger to silence her, but she growled with anger. To Blitzo, he turned cheerful in a singsong voice, "This is the man I'm gonna need you to kiiiill!" He held up a photo of an obese old man in a hospital bed.
Intrigued, Blitzo took the photo from him and started to walk over to him. "Not even a shit's length of time in Hell and already plotting revenge. I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I'm Blitzo, the 'O' is silent." He shook the sinner's hand.
Loona walked away, so the two could interact.
"What 'O'?'' Loopty asked.
"Aww, thank you. Now what's the tea, sis?" Blitzo grinned as he swung his hips side by side.
"The TEAAAA?!"
Under the rubble, a hand reached out. "Guys, help!"
"Moxxie!" Seth and Kore cried as they rushed over to the pained figure under the fallen debris.
"Yeah, why are we killing this guy?" Blitzo elbowed Loopty. "I mean, what did he do to you?"
Kore and Seth did their best to remove the weight of the debris from Moxxie, who squealed under his breath, "Losing... ox-!"
"We got you, Mox," Kore assured him as she and her son withdrew the rubble.
Moxxie coughed as they gradually pushed the rubble away from him.
"Thanks, guys," he said hoarsely.
"It's the least we could do, man," said Seth.
"Moxxie?" Millie gasped, shocked to see her husband in such a terrible state.
"Millie."
"He was… my business partner!" Loopty continued, "You see, I was not always an old man…" Blitzo paid little to no attention to the sinner's narration, but Striker decided to keep an open mind while his wife and son tended to a wounded Moxxie.
"Ehhh, that's not really evil," Blitzo said dismissively.
"It's evil towards me!"
Striker, who'd been listening more than Blitzo glared at his boss. "Blitzo, you don't call taking over the empire and getting all the money without sharing it evil? Are you crazy?"
Loopty pointed to the cowboy imp. "See, the cowboy gets it!" Striker smirked smugly at Blitzo as Loopty continued, "Now, get your crimson asses up above and send that heartless no-good son of a bitch to Hell, where he belongs!"
"Sure thing, partner!"
"Eh, y- y- y- You do know, Poopty–" Blitzo said.
"Looooptyyyy!" Loopty seethed.
Blitzo held up his hands defensively. "Of course! Of course... If we do kill him, though, and he ends up down here, y'know, you will be stuck with him. Forever."
"Oh, trust me…" Loopty smiled wickedly as he summoned a display of weapons with his metal tentacles: circular saw blade, several guns, and a launcher. "I'm counting on it!"
"That's kinda hot!" Moxxie said in a strained voice, giving Loopty a thumbs up, while in Millie's arms.
Millie giggled as she hugged him like when he was drunk in the human beach during Spring Break.
Everyone turned to Moxxie, relieved he was still alive.
…
In the living world by Lyle Lipton's mansion, the imps (including Kore and Seth as humans) were on a tour bus with wigs and disguises.
Seth was dressed as Camilo Madrigal from Encanto. He wore a yellow fiber poncho with a white shirt underneath it, black pants and sandals, and a brown curly wig.
Kore was dressed as Pepa Madrigal from Encanto. She wore a red braided, curly wig with a yellow bow tied onto it, a yellow dress with ruffles on top of her dress with a red orange band near the end of her skirt, and orange sandals.
Striker was dressed as Felix Madrigal from Encanto. He wore a yellow shirt with red lines, striped orange pants, light yellow shoes, and a curly brown wig.
Blitzo's disguise, which was a clown attire, resembled Bla Bla the clown. His red skin was covered with pink makeup, yet he still had red fingertips and around his eyes resembled hearts. His wig was blue and pink and he wore a long gray trench coat and red boots.
Moxxie dressed as an old man in a purple trench coat with white buttons, a top hat that matched his coat with a darker purple band around the top hat, a long gray turtleneck shirt underneath that covered his neck, and a white mustache.
Millie was wearing a long blonde wig, a tan fedora with a red band around it, a red long-sleeved shirt with the bottom part tied, covering her stomach, light pink cuffs and collar, and pink pants with light pink cuffs at the bottom.
Moxxie looked through binoculars to see Lyle's mansion. "Gee! I wonder whose house this is?" he muttered sarcastically.
Blitzo removed his sunglasses. "Let's do it, gang!"
He and the gang drew out their weapons: Blitzo with a flintlock pistol, Striker with his blessed-tipped rifle, Moxxie with a rifle, Millie carrying two sharp swords, Seth carrying his dad's blessed-tipped knife, and Kore with her husband's blessed-tipped pistol.
They jumped over the fence, landing in poses.
"Let's kill this rich guy!" shouted Millie.
She and her team dashed over to the windows.
"Hey, Seth, you and your parents look good in your outfits," Blitzo praised.
Seth put the blessed knife in his pocket so as to not injure himself and grabbed both ends of his poncho as if to make a curtsy. "Thanks, Blitz." He twirled around with it.
"Yeah, Seth seems to like his costume," Striker remarked, "It looks cool."
"Yes, cool," Kore agreed.
"And you look lovely, Kore." Striker stroked his wife's face.
Kore's cheeks turned slightly red, blushing. "Aww."
"What movie were those guys from?" Moxxie asked.
"Encanto," Millie replied.
"It's a good movie," Kore said.
Moxxie thought for a moment and then it clicked. "Oh, yeah."
"Alright, guys! Remember, we got work to do!" Blitzo said, changing the subject, remembering their assigned target.
Everyone stared through the window seeing an old man lying in bed, surrounded by machines that kept him alive.
He looked like an old pale blob draped in a hospital gown. His eyes were small as his glasses made them look bigger than it seemed. He had a large white bushy mustache under his big nose which looked like it could tickle under the nostrils every time he would smell or sneeze. Despite his blob-like appearance, his arms were like noodles.
"Wow...That machine really did a number on him," Moxxie mused.
"Oh, fantastic! He's gonna do our job for us!" Blitzo said as the old man made his IV tube into a noose.
"Should we go in there and tie it for him?" Moxxie asked.
As Lyle was about to put his "noose" over his head, Blitzo, Striker, Moxxie, Millie, Kore, and Seth watched as they ate popcorn and drank sodas with anticipation…knowing their assigned target was making their task much easier.
Just as the sad, bedridden man was about to off himself, his "noose" glowed white.
"No way!" Seth cried.
"How did that-" Kore didn't get a chance to finish her sentence when she, her son, husband, and her friends were repelled back by an invisible force.
Just then, a kitten sock blew away from Blitzo's grasp. He tried to catch it, only for it to blow away as he sadly watched it disappear.
In the mansion, the three small cherubs, a human boy cherub with red overalls and two sheep cherubs gracefully floated down in three rays of light to greet the blobby man.
One of the sheep cherubs had yellow fur, light yellow skin with light red apple cheeks, eyelids, and neck, magenta eyes with purple pupils, white yellow legs, gloves, and outer wings, and inner wings matching her fur color. She wore a yellow dress, matching her fur with a red bowtie and ribbon, red bottom of her skirt, matching her bowtie, yellow socks matching her skin, and red hooves.
The other sheep cherub had dark purple skin with light purple around the eyes, light purple in the ears, and white dots under his eyes, light purple fur, pastel purple outer wings with light purple wing innards, and dark purple hooves. He wore a baby blue long-sleeved shirt up to his neck, a light purple bow with white lines, and light purple pants with white buttons.
Seth and Kore were the first to recover from their fall.
"Mom, are they who we think they are?" Seth asked.
"I believe so," Kore answered.
Blitzo woke up and turned to the mansion. "Who the fuck are they?" he demanded.
Moxxie recovered from his fall and turned to Blitzo's direction. "Oh no! Sir, those are…"
"Cherubs!" Striker, Seth, and Kore shouted in unison. Unlike Seth and Kore, Striker's tone was actually annoyed.
"I think they're trying to stop him from ending his life," Seth said.
Kore nodded. "I agree."
"Oh, HELL no!" Blitzo snapped as he broke into the house by jumping through the window and the glass shattered to pieces. "Don't forget–" He faceplanted into the marble floor.
"So much for insurance, Blitz," Striker grumbled as he opened the door inviting himself, Millie, Moxxie, Kore, and Seth to the mansion. "You don't like people breaking your walls, yet you carelessly jump through someone else's windows."
"Lyle Lipton, it is our–" said Moxxie, who trailed off, upon seeing Blitzo on the floor, "…humble opinion that you should continue the process to commit die."
"I mean, what do you expect to do with all this money now you're old... and gross?" asked a disgusted Millie.
"Is that a serious question?" Keenie, the yellow sheep cherub replied, "He can help spread his wealth around with the people of the world! And do so much good with it! And be so fulfilled!" She happily flew around, throwing dollar bills and Lyle and her cherub gang with Lyle having none of it.
"Nnnno!"
"He could pay for new hospitals and schools!" Collin, the purple sheep cherub added.
"Why won't you let me die?" Lyle protested.
Blitzo smiled as he walked beside his bed frame. "Oh, sounds like you need help offin' yourself there, buddy." He turned to Moxxie, adding, "Moxxie, what do we got for this fella?"
Moxxie brought out a variety of weapons from his pockets and tossed them aside as he said, "I have some assault weapons, crossbow, hunting bow, tommy gun, old-fashioned shotgun, revolvers in three colors, chainsaws, katanas–"
"Or my blessed weapons," Striker offered, showing off his blessed-tipped rifle, pistol, and knife as emphasis, which shone like stars in the night.
"He's classier than that!" Collin retorted.
Lyle cocked a rifle inside of his mouth, but before he could pull the trigger, Collin hastily pulled it out of his mouth.
"There are still plenty of reasons to live, Mr. Lyle!"
"Not in the state he's in," Seth told Collin.
"Sorry, but it's his choice," Kore agreed, shrugging her shoulders.
"Right. Smells like he ain't been out of bed in months!" She sniffed to get her point across. Her face turned green, sick to her stomach as she covered her mouth. She held onto Moxxie's shoulder for support and then she puked on the marble floor.
"Life can be beautiful at any age," Cletus assured Lyle.
"And we'll show him!" Keenie added.
"Yeah!" she and the other cherubs cheered.
"NOOOOO!" Blitzo, Millie, Moxxie, Kore, Seth, Striker, and Lyle Lipton protested.
…
The cherubs brought Lyle and his hospital bed outside to a hill, viewing a clear, green forest and a shimmering and clear lake.
"Look around, Lyle," Cletus commanded, "God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age! Or wealth!"
"If you were to end your life, you'd be missing all of this!" Collin added.
Blitzo, in a tiger costume, smirked at Lyle. "Mm-hm. You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" he sneered as he did a lewd gesture, meaning sex.
Cletus looked at him with annoyance, while Collin stared blankly at the imp, and Keenie gasped and covered her mouth in shock.
"That is so inappropriate!" Keenie snapped.
"Oh, kiss our ass, prude!" Millie, in a pink cat costume with a red collar and yellow bell, insulted as she gave her the double bird.
"People use that language, so get used to it!" Kore in a female white wolf costume snapped.
"The forest isn't all about butterflies and cute stuff," Seth in a gray wolf pup costume pointed out.
"There's more to it than meets the eye," Striker in a lion costume agreed.
Blitzo smiled at Striker and his family and turned his gaze back to Lyle. "Anyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close." Blitzo handed Lyle a pair of binoculars and pointed to a group of squirrels and rabbits playing until they were torn apart and eaten by a pack of ravenous wolves.
"Oh, no!" Lyle cried.
"S-S top looking!" Collin stuttered as he tried to hug the binoculars away.
"I can't stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now!"
The cherubs realized too late that nature had shown its true colors with the rabbits and squirrels in the food chain to predators like bears and wolves.
Blitzo feigned shock and grinned at the cherubs and Lyle.
Cletus laughed nervously. "Let's go check out someplace else!"
Moxxie in his black cat costume with a red bowtie and Millie in a pink cat costume fist bumped.
Striker, Kore, and Seth gave each other high fives.
…
The next stop was a shopping mall that took place in the Christmas season and children gathered to see Santa Claus, instead of Krampus in Hell.
Striker, Kore, and Seth were all dressed as elves in blue suits and hats. The hats had a pink band and the suits had white fluffy collars and cuffs. They also wore red pants and black boots.
Moxxie was unhappily dressed as a reindeer, Rudolph.
Blitzo and Millie were dressed as elves. Blitzo's suit was red with white rims at the collar, cuffs, and bottom. They (minus the cuffs) each had bells at the end. The stockings on his horns were mismatched. One of them was red and white and the other was red with a white pom pom. His pants were black as well as the boots, but the cuffs of each boot were red and the boots had red balls. Millie's suit was green with a white collar and cuffs. She wore a red Santa hat, long red and white socks, and black boots.
Striker reached into his pocket and gave his wife and son each $20 he secretly took from Lyle's mansion. "Here you go, sugar and buckaroo. Go crazy."
Kore and Seth beamed with excitement as they dashed to the nearest art shop that was just around the corner. Inside were tall shelves holding various items like colored pencils, crayons, markers, glue and various other art supplies that was enough to satisfy any artist. Kore and Seth each got a sketchbook along with a set of colored pencils, crayons, markers, and pencils for drawing. When they came back from the art shop, they saw kids screaming as they left and Lyle sobbing like a baby and the cherubs rushed him out of the mall.
"What just happened?" Seth and Kore asked in unison.
"Hmm…let's just say that isn't the real Santa," Blitzo replied with a shrug.
…
The next stop that the imps and Kore and Seth in their human forms followed the cherubs and Lyle to was a place called Lover's Lookout. It was a forest where teenagers fall in love. The forest was crowded with parked cars and the sounds of moans of pleasure and kissing echoed from the cars which could be heard from the entire forest.
Kore was dressed as Snow White, but didn't need a black wig to compliment her black hair because her natural black hair was enough for her. The only thing she needed for her hair was a red headband with a bow on it.
Striker was dressed as Elsa from Frozen in a blue winter dress and a white braided wig.
Seth was wearing a blue dress from Sleeping Beauty and a golden wig to go along with it. As much as he hated being dressed like a girl, he was glad the dress was at least blue, instead of pink.
Speaking of pink, Blitzo was wearing a pink dress, which had a hot pink heart shaped top at the breasts with a maroon undershirt, a maroon band around his waist, hot pink below the band, and a bright pink skirt with white ruffles underneath. He also wore a baby pink faux fur scarf, a long blonde wig with a hot pink headband, black choker, and black earrings.
Moxxie was wearing a purple jacket with a light purple shirt underneath, a purple skirt, a black choker, and a short blonde wig.
Millie's hair was tied up in a ponytail with a hot pink bow. Her dress had pink spots like the heart shaped top part had bright pink, maroon on top of the heart shaped top at the breasts, a hot pink band with a bow around her waist, light pink below it, a white skirt with maroon rims at the bottom and dots above it, and maroon holey leggings.
Before the cherubs could finish their speech with Lyle, Blitzo cut them off with his crew by his side, "HA! Nice try, ugly." He pulled out a megaphone. "Hey, horny lovers! Which one of you would fuck this old man?!"
At this, the cars disappeared in a heartbeat, not giving a dejected old man a chance.
Proud of his work, Blitzo smirked at the cherubs.
"You know, you three are so utterly c- c- cruel!" Collin stuttered angrily, "We're just trying to give hope to someone in need!"
"Oh, and you three are so superior to us just because WE want some selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist to keel over DEAD!" Moxxie retorted and dramatically threw out his hands to get his point across.
Blitzo walked over to him with a bottle that said "PISS". "You're makin' things too real now, Moxxie." He sprayed it in his face, making him recoil in disgust and hiss.
…
Above the auditorium, Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Striker, Kore, and Seth watched a performance, back in their regular attire.
Blitzo was shaking his booty and tail like a cat.
"So…how do we make this bad?" Millie inquired.
"We can't," Moxxie replied, "There's literally nothing bad about opera. That's a fact."
Blitzo shook his butt in Moxxie's face.
"Eww, gross!" Kore, Seth, and Striker exclaimed in disgust.
"Unless we ruin it somehow," Blitzo said as he grinned mischievously as he took control of the spotlight, making a fat lady in a viking suit on a fake unicorn pause her singing and walk in the spotlight, continuing her performance. Laughing, he shook the spotlight faster until it slipped out of his hands, accidentally crushing the opera singing lady on stage.
"Well, at least we made it bad," Blitzo continued.
"THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD IT!" Cletus snapped as he and his sheep cherubs flew angrily towards the imps and Seth and Kore, "You six monsters have messed with us enough!"
"We're just trying to do our j-j-job!" Collin agreed.
"Well, so are we!" Moxxie shot back.
"ENOUGH!" Cletus and the sheep cherubs summoned their golden crossbows and aimed it at the imps and two humans, who soon turned into imps themselves. "We are savin' that shitty old man's life, whether he wants it or not!"
"Well, someone wants that fucker dead! Okay?" Blitzo retorted, "And he paid in advance, and I spent it all on this…" For emphasis, he showed the cherubs a green horse figure wearing sunglasses and jewels, and a "mare-ajuanna" cap.
Striker facepalmed, over Blitzo's frivolous money spending. "Blitzo, why do you feel the need to spend money when you could've just saved it?"
But Blitzo ignored him and put away the said figure. "…so he's gotta go!"
"He experiments on the poor," Kore pointed out.
"And hoards money!" Seth added.
"My wife and son have a point there," Striker told the cherubs.
Keenie flew straight into Blitzo's face. "You all are such disgusting, loathsome beasts! Your kind is nothing but dirt that shitty dead people tread on! And now, you're trying to meddle with the lives of HUMANS?!"
Millie pushed him aside before he could retort and decided to take her on herself. "So are you! So why don't you shut your trap, you judgmental, cotton candy, tit-havin' BITCH?!"
Keenie looked shocked for a moment before snapping back. "FILTHY DEMON CRAP!" With that she began a catfight with Millie.
Kore, Seth, Striker, Moxxie, and Blitzo bolted away from Cletus and Collin, who chased them with golden crossbows. Moxxie, seeing his Millie fighting Keenie, swung over to his wife on the rope.
"Seth! Kore! I'm going to help Blitzo distract the crazy angel, while you distract another cherub," Striker told his wife and son.
Seth and Kore nodded and went over to the purple cherub. Kore used her husband's blessed pistol as a warning shot to stop Collin from shooting their allies, and Collin accidentally shot his arrow at a wall.
"You know? Between you, the baby angel, and the yellow sheep, I like you the best," Seth told him.
Collin stopped his task, lowering his weapon along with his soon to be used next arrow. "Really?"
"Yes, and I do, too," Kore admitted and she and her son heard gunshots and saw a tornado of bullets hitting the audience, except for their assigned target. Must be Moxxie and Millie, she thought.
Striker turned to see what his son and wife were doing.
"Considering the commercial you were in, you didn't deserve the suffering you've been through," Seth added.
"You don't have to do this. You deserve better than this."
Collin blinked with confusion, but then smiled, touched by their sentiment. Striker, on the other hand, could understand where Seth and Kore were coming from. He admitted that he, too, had seen footage where Collin had to do all the dirty work by himself like fighting a pack of hungry wolves on earth and doing all the paperwork in Heaven.
Blitzo was on a metal scaffolding, holding Cletus at gunpoint. "Strikes! What are you doing? I've been doing all the work here!" He leapt onto another one connected to a rope.
"I just wanted to check on my wife and son. I've seen bits and pieces of the commercial and this cherub they were talking to seems to be suffering so much."
"Oh." Just when Blitzo was about to pull the trigger, he found his flintlock pistol empty. Acting quickly, he threw his weapon of choice in Cletus' face.
Cletus covered his face in pain. "Ow! You fucker!" He accidentally shot up his arrow, breaking the rope of the scaffolding Blitzo was standing on and Blitzo, Striker, Kore, Seth, Moxxie, and Millie fell down onto the stage.
Suddenly, the piano catapulted off the stage as the imps and the cherubs looked on in anticipation. It started to head towards Lyle, who screamed and scrambled out of bed, to one of the aisles. He snickered thinking that he missed only to be crushed by the piano.
CRASH!
Moxxie grinned at the cherubs. "Well, well. Would'ya look at that? You... did our job... for us. Heh!"
Millie gave the cherubs two fingers as she, Striker, Blitzo, Seth, and Kore smirked.
Collin went into a panic attack, which resulted in him being slapped by Keenie.
"THIS…ISN'T OVER!" the lead cherub raged as Keenie created a heavenly portal, but she and the other cherubs were mysteriously repelled back.
Before Seth and Kore could understand what was going on, Blitzo had already created a portal back to the I.M.P. building.
…
"Well, Kore and Seth, I'll admit that I, too, felt sorry for the cherub who's been constantly pushed around," Striker told Seth and Kore.
"His name's Collin, Dad," Seth told him.
"And now I wonder what's going to happen to him and the other cherubs," Kore added.
Blitzo clapped his hands together. "Welp! The old man wanted to live again and we didn't kill him, so we failed. Thanks to those fuckin' cherubs, he's probably up in Heaven now, so... it's a shame. All our client wanted was eternal revenge on his business partner. And now the two are forever separated. And now, we gotta face the fire of fuckin' up." He watched out the window, his one hand turned into a fist.
"Sir... when are you going to tell the client?" Moxxie asked.
Blitzo showed him a text message he'd sent. Loopty's text read, "U fail, U die." Blitzo's text read, "sorry" with emojis including a saxophone. "Oh, I already sent him a text, and... we're in good hands, 'cause texts don't make people angry."
"Moxxie, please move or you'll get hit!" Kore ordered and Moxxie quickly did as he was told with the metal escalator from the wall, missing him.
Coming down the metal escalator was a familiar sinner from earlier. "BLIIIIIITZ!" he said in a singsong voice.
"Loofaaaaa! We can explain everything. I was–" Blitzo said worriedly when another escalator squashed Moxxie, revealing another sinner, who had a smirk upon his face.
The other sinner had mint green skin, round red eyes with dark red swirls, long, white bushy mustache, a dark green nose, his mouth resembling piano keys from being crushed by a piano, and a black, round metallic body with red swirls. He wore a black bowler hat with a red band around it, light green gloves and vest with a black button, blue green collar, a red breast shirt, and black sleeves.
"Lyle Lipton?!" Blitzo and Millie asked simultaneously.
"I don't understand. We thought you went to Heaven," said Millie.
Lyle scoffed. "Heaven?! You don't make millions in technological advances in robotics by NOT experimenting on the poor!" He chuckled.
Loopty walked over to his side. "Oh, you no good heartless son of a bitch!" Turning to Blitzo, he added, "Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend!"
"The only question now is what do two old genius robotic inventors do now that we're in Hell?"
As Lyle asked this, another figure crashed through the ceiling.
"Did someone say, I say, inventors?! Name's Wally Wackford, and I am lookin' for creative new people to exploit!" The imp named Wally Wackford stopped to correct himself, "I mean, employ." He twirled his mustache.
"Everyone, STOP FUCKIN' UP MY WALLS!" Blitzo yelled, "Moxxie's gonna have to fix all this shit!"
Moxxie, still trapped under the escalator, frothed at the mouth with Kore and Seth at his side.
"Don't listen to him, Mox," Kore said.
"Yeah, you did nothing wrong," Seth added as he and his mom started to pull up the escalator their friend was trapped under.
"Oh, chill out, Moxxie. If you kiss my ass any harder, you'll go right inside me."
"You're sick! You know that, Blitz?!" Striker retorted, making a sound of disgust.
Blitzo paid no attention to him. "Satan's balls! First we deal with Heaven's table-scraps, now this?"
"I guess…you can say, you say, you have a holey operation here, Blitzo!" Wally chuckled, pronouncing Blitzo's name as spelled and slapped his knee. Then he rolled onto the floor, laughing.
"Get out."
Wally continued laughing his head off. "Oh-ho-ho! I say, 'Oh!'" He kicked his feet in the air.
"No, I'm serious. Get the FUCK OUT!"
Blitzo's shout caused everyone in the room to look at him in shock and surprise.
AN: I'd like to thank Detective88 and LittleDragonLioness (also known as KiaraWildeHopps15 on Fanfiction) for helping me with the disguise for Kore, Seth, and Striker for the living world.