Chapter 17: AOC escapes!
The Jaw Zombie was restrained in the basement while DeSantis took a very important call. It was from Governor Youngkin of Virginia, who had just won a decisive battle against his evil ex-boyfriend, Terry McAuliffe (see chapter 15). With Virginia liberated, it was one of the few safe havens in the United States from Charlie Crist's communist tyranny.
"We will head over immediately," exclaimed DeSantis excitedly. He was eager to return to the United States after months in exile. He was certain his beloved Mikasa would love it too. There was just the issue of the Jaw Zombie, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez.
Joseph did not want Ronald DeSantis to kill the Jaw Zombie. He claimed that if he did, he would get canceled on Twitter over it like Paul Gosar when he posted his meme. DeSantis did not care about getting canceled. The fake news media tried to cancel him a million times during Covid and their attacks always fell flat. He exuded so much alpha energy that his critics could do little more than whimper.
"I will kill that psycho bitch," DeSantis swore as he climbed aboard his great battleship, the USS Tallahassee. DeSantis and his followers would sail to Virginia Beach to greet Governor Youngkin. There, AOC would face a military tribunal.
The cage AOC was in was old and rusty (like most things in Cuba). The poor souls who carried her cage aboard the ship did not realize this until it was too late. Without wasting a second, AOC bit her thumb and transformed into the JAW ZOMBIE once again! The soldiers were ripped to shreds by AOC as she jumped into a smaller motorboat and drove away as fast as she could. DeSantis was infuriated!
"Damn, we lost our chance!"
Joseph now felt very sad. It was his fault that AOC got away because he kept DeSantis from dealing the killing blow.
"I'm so sorry, Mr. President," Joseph cried. "I shouldn't have stopped you."
"It's fine," DeSantis huffed, although it clearly wasn't. "Let's just head back to the United States. Then we can figure out how to end this madness once and for all."
Joseph continued to feel guilty for what he had done. He knew DeSantis was furious and could empathize with him. He would not have held back if he were fighting Wang Wang Ma, his archnemisis and #1 chef in the Philipines. Wang Wang Ma was still out there with the mysterious Moaning Fridge, and Joseph only hoped that Yachim and the Israeli government could stop him.
As DeSantis and Co. began their voyage back to America, they reminisced in their adventures and mourned all those they lost in their battles. Bolsonaro, Cawthorn, Tucker Carlson, the MyPillow guy, and others who had been zombified or slain by the commie hoards. DeSantis could never bring them back, but he could avenge them and bring about an end to communism once and for all. What will happen once they return to America and meet up with Youngkin? Find out soon!
TO BE CONTINUED