Chapter 6: Introductions Were Never One of His Specialties

Foreword- Look at that we finally made it to the true start of Infinite Loner, and from here on out, I won't have to do so much heavy lifting when it comes to the plot since this story mirrors the events of canon IS... for now. In other news, I've been taking in the many reviews and I hope this chapter meets or exceeds the massive expectations you all have for it. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and trying to replicate the sense of wonder I felt when watching Infinite Stratos for the time, and hope those efforts translated into text. Oh before I forget, I wonder who were the two characters at the end of chapter 5? Maybe they'll show up soon? Well, without further ado, Time for Infinite Loner Chapter 6: Introductions Were Never One of His Specialties.

Infinite Loner- line break, POV shift "When it comes to losing..."- Dialogue

Disclaimer: I do not own Oregairu, Infinite Stratos, or any other intellectual properties that may appear in this story. Please don't sue me.

"Wow, so this is IS Island," I muttered to myself as I walked off the fifth train to get here. I know this isn't a tourist attraction, but would it have killed someone to streamline the rail system to get here? I almost missed my connections multiple times ("This map doesn't make any sense. It was probably drawn by a riajuu. Do I have to transfer here or at the next station?).

Not to mention narrowly avoiding a catastrophe, all because of some foolish animal. If it wasn't for my quick thinking, things could have gone horribly wrong. They should be grateful that my 108 loner skills included improved reaction time. Aren't I the greatest?

In any case, calling IS Island, the Academy's base of operation, beautiful would be the understatement of the century. It seemed to be the combination of a resort and a futuristic city as all the buildings were jaw-droppingly gorgeous glass-filled masterpieces, the streets free of any litter or annoying billboards.

If someone asked a five-year-old Hikigaya Hachiman what the near future would look like, IS Island would be his answer. And here we are in the present, with those expectations almost fully realized. Unfortunately, IS pilots (read: walking advertisements) lived here, which killed my budding excitement... Yes, I'm still upset over the canceled extraterrestrial plans for ISs. We have enough sports dependent on corporate special interests, so what's the point in creating another one.

Sadly I had no time to dilly-dally as class started in 30 minutes, and I wanted to arrive there early. After all, first impressions lasted a lifetime, and I'm not making the same mistakes I did in middle school. Thankfully there lies a less than 1% chance that my new classmates hold any significant memories of me. After all, IS Academy was not just some local private school but a world-renown institution home to students from across the globe. I've only lasted this long by feverishly clutching to this fact.

Activating "Stealth Hikki" and my new "Hyena Dash" (developed to flee potential bullies in middle school), I quickly found myself outside of IS Academy with 15 minutes to spare. Once inside, I slowed my pace and enjoyed a quiet walk to the classroom, a few curious glances sent my way, but being the loner I am, nothing I couldn't handle...

Eventually, I stood outside my homeroom's door and froze for a second to formulate my potential entrances. My entire high school career rides on this decision. One option could be to activate "Stealth Hikki," sneak inside and take my seat to avoid attention, but it would fail as all eyes would be on me during roll call for attempting the whole dark and alluring facade. Another possibility is to walk in my usual bored fashion and act as stale as drywall. There is additionally...

*taps shoulder* "Hachiman, it's been a while, huh?" Wait, who knows my name here, talking to me in such a casual fashion? I'm really hoping there is not already a "Hikigaya Hachiman fan club," as my main objective is to be an extra, not the lead face of this school. They can't bully who they don't know, right? Right?

I slowly turned around to meet the voice, and I was genuinely shocked at the sight," It sure has Ichika. I never pegged you to be the other male IS pilot being an idiot and all." My observation was not mistaken: he has the same dark black hair, red eyes, and a stupid grin on his face: this definitely was my former and now current classmate Orimura Ichika.

"Come on, let's go inside since there's no point in talking out here," now I have the perfect distraction for all the rabid, hormonal teenage girls of IS Academy. Whenever the pressure gets too high for me, I can just throw Ichika out at them... What, people don't approve of being treated as nothing more than a repellant? Don't worry, Ichika won't mind; his motive was all about making new friends. Besides, I'm owed some payback for what happened in middle school... But it's not like I'm holding a grudge or anything.

*sigh* "Fine." And with that, we opened the door and walked into the classroom.

Inside resembled a Sci-Fi light novel with tablets integrated into the desks and holograms projecting time and weather information. I felt a little uncomfortable just taking a single step inside, my commoner soul unprepared for the reality of high-class schools. Sure, not everything inside was foreign to me, with some creature comforts lying around like an analog clock hanging on the front wall or the classic whiteboard right below it: yet it was hard to ignore the prevailing technological influence. The entire room radiated an air of cleanliness or, better yet, perfection. Each student was spaced evenly apart, and every desk sported the same snow-white color, lacking any of the imperfections characteristic of most classrooms.

As for my first impression, wow, I never thought I'd see the day when desks were digitized. Even though it is possible with today's technology, improving classrooms went against the greedy nature of school executives. The complete lack of blemishes anywhere slightly worries me, but who am I to judge; I used to sit in a chair one push away from collapsing. Using that logic, anything more than that is foreign to me.

Follow-up question; where did the school get the money to pay for all this stuff? I know the Academy is a big deal, but high-tech equipment must be expensive, especially since the room was packed with students... Actually, never mind, as once I sat down and saw some international students sprinkled in the class, "foreign contributions" quickly answered my query.

It was also unsettling to realize that by some strange coincidence (not), the two male pilots were placed in the front and center of the room with Ichika in the first row and me right behind him. It's like the teachers did not trust us at all. Ok, that makes sense with Ichika, but how am I a troublesome student? I regularly sleep through classes, destabilize my homerooms, and complain about society... Hold on, are adults actually geniuses?

"Hey, Hachiman, are you even listening to me?!" Ichika turned around and complained. Oh, was the Idiot was talking to me during my monologue? Does he not know who I am? Monologues are an inseparable foundation of my identity... Or at least they have been for the last few years. But that part doesn't matter!

What a shame (not) that I ignored him. However, for appearances, I'll pretend that I listened.

"Yeah, yeah. Komachi's fine, by the way." I waved him off as class was about to start. I can't miss any exposition drops about this school... Maybe because I forgot to read the orientation pamphlet they sent?

[Flashback]

"Komachi, did we get any mail?"

"Yeah, there was this one package from IS Academy."

"Huh, let me see..."

"Here you go, onii-chan."

"Woah, why is this thing so heavy?"

"Do you think it's important?"

"I doubt it; the school already sent the textbook."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, little sister. When am I ever wrong?"

"*sigh* Many times, onii-chan... Many times."

[Flashback End]

Uh, you know, I was being environmentally conscious with that move. Hah, hah, hah...

The green-haired, glasses-wearing woman from my IS "debut" (read: personal humiliation) cleared her throat before speaking," Hello, and welcome to IS Academy, a full-time boarding school, and your new home. Unlike most high schools, classes don't change between years, so get comfortable with your classmates. I am your assistant homeroom teacher, Yamada Maya-sensei. I hope we can all get along well. Time for some introductions..." I tuned out from there.

I held no intention of memorizing the names of my 20-something female classmates. The task just screams unnecessary, especially with my goals for high school. Sure, I wanted to get off on the right foot, but that sentiment only existed to a certain extent. Knowing how rare male pilots were, it would be easy for me to lose myself to delusions of grandeur; for example, "I could become popular," "Girls might like me now," or even worse, my dark past could resurface. However, if I played it safe and shied away from the social scene, things won't end that way.

And so, I proceeded to exercise one of my 108 Loner Skills, specifically passive listening; by hunching over my desk and appearing asleep, it concealed my presence, granting me free reign to observe my classmates. This technique is vital to my survival at IS Academy since 99.9% of my peers are teenage girls, the bane of every loner's existence. Once they realize you're looking at them, they deliver a disgusted glare that pierces through your very existence; source: me.

Nothing caught my attention aside from one girl. I think her name was Al-something, and she seemed foreign with her glossy golden drills that probably require very high maintenance judging from its flowing appearance and lack of straight ends. There were also her unsubtle glares at me from the back of the classroom and the little twirl she made when introducing herself.

Like seriously, has she ever taken a class in the art of passive-aggressiveness or even subtlety, for that matter? I struggled to not roll my eyes at her overflowing ego. The kids back in Central tried harder than you, pathetic.

Who was I thinking that IS Academy would be any different from middle school? It's just holier-than-thou girls replacing disingenuous boys as my antagonists... wait, nothing's changed since then, as rich girls always hated me for having a spine. Ok, ego, let's stop whitewashing the past. We both know that our lack of a backbone put us in this situation. *sigh* Sometimes, I wish I had access to a time-traveling Delorean.

"What do I do... What do I do?" I wasn't the only one ignoring introductions, as once Yamada-sensei's speech ended, Ichika began sweating bullets with an array of eyes locked on him. And this is why I had "Stealth Hikki" cranked up to the max.

Did somebody desire a classic Hikigaya monologue?

"..."

All right, since everyone insisted, I'll give you one.

Ah, "to work is to lose" one of my favorite adages. Why bother doing a job if it will only be a waste of time. A country with high personal productivity translates into a lower birth rate since people are too busy spending their lives drowning in paperwork to responsibly raise families. Source: me. Nine times out of ten, I would wholeheartedly agree with this mentality. A life of corporate slavery went against my goals, mainly achieving a blissful career as a househusband. I'm not a peon for a shady company, forever chasing after a distant carrot, but an individual capable of thinking for themself.

Sadly my current situation resided in the dreaded 10%, and not one of my 108 Loner Skills can get me out of this jam; to use an analogy, I've been caught in a checkmate, an unwinnable situation... This feels like deja vu; have I done this before?

"Um... Hikigaya Hachiman-kun, care to introduce yourself to the class?" Time ran out for my monologue, as Yamada-sensei had expectantly turned to me. I know you're trying to be nice, but now all the students see that I exist.

*stare...~* Ahh, don't stare too hard, you're going to make me blush~. Sure, everyone in the classroom sent a curious gaze my way, but two students specifically caught my interest: the blond ojou-sama (Translator's Note: ojou-sama= rich girl) and a raven-haired girl sporting a green ribbon and slight scowl... Wait, is that Pouki-san. She remembers me? I didn't want to remember her ("I'll kill you, Punchy-gaya if you don't fight back!").

"Why is high school so horrifying," and Ichika was out of commission, acting like a bumbling mess. How a riajuu like him can't handle this much attention is beyond me? There goes my slim respect for him. So much for that whole "friendship" nonsense. If I ever believed in it. I guess some things never change, and I have to handle this task my way... Alone.

*sigh* The sacrifices I make for a quiet life, "Creak!" I stood up from my seat.

"..." The class stood silent with bated breath.

"Yes, I am Hikigaya Hachiman, a commoner and male IS pilot. Don't ask me if I'm the first. I enjoy drinking Georgia MAX Coffee, the nectars of the Gods, and spending quiet alone time reading without any unwanted distractions. I despise rumors as they reveal the worst of society and superficial individuals overly dependent on their image, carelessly showing kindness to everyone they meet. I hope I have a very uneventful year. That is all."

"..." My blunt approach worked as the whole classroom remained still in disbelief. Fight on rotten eyes, prevent any possible teenage romance! Down with the riajuu and in with the loner! Oh yeah, Hachiman 1: High School...

"Wow! That's so cool," fate had other plans as the class excitedly responded. Wait, what's so cool. Don't people usually hate those who give misanthropic introductions as I did? My message's subtext literally read, "I hate youth and nice girls, stay away from me," yet the class doesn't care. There has to be something wrong with this school if even Yamada-sensei has a star-struck look in her eyes for a few seconds. What have I gotten myself into? Nee-san said this place would be an escape from middle school, not a horrifying sequel, where yet again, I am the class clown.

"..." Glancing at my surroundings, the ojou-sama and Pouki-san glared at me even harder. Ok, that's the natural reaction to what I did, but they were like that before. Who knows what they're angry about? Does anyone in this school possess common sense?

"Ok, everyone, let's settle down," eventually, the class got back on track, and introductions continued.

They were relatively uneventful until the other male IS pilot was on the chopping block. "Why is this so nerve-wracking? It's only an introduction, just like in middle school," and he looks ridiculous.

"Orimura Ichika-kun!" Yamada-sensei tried to gain the currently mentally distressed Ichika's attention. How will he get out of this one: use "middle-school friend card," make the tough decision of introducing himself, or are there other factors in play?

"Houki..." The poor fool tried to mutter as he looked toward Shinonono-san's direction. Interesting choice.

"Hmph." Pouki ignored his blatant plea for help by looking towards the window. Hmm... Ichika and Pouki, I wonder what kind of connection they have? Maybe I can exploit it to get both of them off my back.

With seemingly no other lifelines available to him, Ichika turned around and looked at me, "Come on, Hachiman. Help your old friend out here. If I say nothing, they'll think I'm just like you... I mean emo." He begged with a shaky smile. Why should I help you after that subtle jab at my personality? Sure, I'm not the most pleasant person in the world, but emo, that's just disrespectful. I'll have you know that Komachi thinks I'm sophisticated and eerily mysterious, just like an onion with multiple layers concealing my charming personality.

And so, being the "old friend" I am, I placed a hand on his shoulder, wore the brightest smile I could make (read: an evil grin) as I replied, "No."

"Geh, how could you..." My words shattered his soul, and Ichika swiftly swiveled around in his seat before abruptly collapsing into a vegetative state... He's out of service for the rest of the introductions.

"We were together for years, and she rejected me. Not to mention, my best friend threw me for the wolves. Why? Why is the world so cruel?"

"Hikigaya-san, what did you do to Orimura-kun for him to devolve into this?" Yamada-sensei questioned me as she pointed to the soulless Ichika muttering something about betrayal.

I'm surprised he didn't see this coming as we were never friends. I was always just his study slave, working to death out of fear of torture. I still remember the "voluntary workout program" of running to exhaustion under the blazing summer sun just for one poor grade. I'm not the same fool as before, so some payback for those days was in order, but I guess my actions might have been slightly harsh... No, on second thought, Ichika got what he deserved.

However, leaving things as they were now would be problematic for my plans. The situation forced my hand, and so, being an "amazing friend" (lol), I stood before the class, explaining, "Seeing as he can't currently speak for himself, this is Orimura Ichika, the other male pilot. If anyone cared to know, the two of us are former middle school classmates. He likes his sister, Chifuyu, and Shounen anime, while he dislikes tests and studying in general, so he would be grateful for any private tutors. I hope everyone gets along with him very well this year since I don't want to babysit him again. That is all... Ouch!" Just as I was finishing the job, someone decided to punch my head, which pushed me back into my seat.

Turning around is the second familiar face I've seen today, who is now glaring at me, "Why are you, the self-proclaimed loner, doing my stupid kid brother's introduction... How is it even possible for your dead eyes to rot even more." Harsh and straight to the point, I guess some things never change. I don't appreciate another attack on my eyes, though, as they're the only pair I have. It's not my fault that I'm rich in Omega-3.

"Nee-san, why are you here? I thought you were washed... Ouch," rising out of my seat, I eked out a short question before she again punched me on the head. You're the one who poked fun at my eyes, yet why do you hit me? Did you know that every time the head is hit, 5000 brain cells die? I'm already rotten as it is, so why are you trying to make me any worse?

Apparently, Sleeping Beauty decided to rise and awake from his slumber, with all the commotion going on as he turned around and asked," Hey Hachiman, why is Chifuyu-nee here? Ouch!" Sadly for both of us, we only received a head punch as an answer. Ok, that one was not my fault. I never said a word.

"It's Orimura-sensei brats!" Nee-san, I mean, Senesi barked at us fiercely with her verbal response.

Luckily for both of us, the class decided that now was the perfect moment to break out in hysteric jubilation. One time I'm happy to be in a room full of Brunhilde fans.

"Oh my gosh, it's Chifuyu-sama! I can't believe she's teaching here! I hope she steps on me and calls me harsh names~!" The first two were normal: but that last one... I hope I never interact with that M (Translator's Note M= masochist or someone who enjoys physical pain). They are the only hard counter to my "dead eyes" modifier.

"Ok, settle down, you miscreants. I am Orimura Chifuyu, and I shall be your homeroom teacher for the year. And by the time I'm done, you will all be at least competent IS pilots. Yes, even you two, Orimura and Hikigaya." Why is that last part necessary, as it only sounds like you have a bone to pick with the world's only two male IS pilots. I'm not sure about Ichika, but I passed the entrance exam with flying colors, mind you. Once her take was over, the class began as Yamada-sensei gave a brief overview covering the history of Infinite Stratos and the IS Academy in general. Yada. Yada. Yada. Alaska Pact means no more IS as weapons... something about the Academy being a worldwide training center for pilots... and the Infinite Stratos's potential rotting away in the hands of teenage girls. None of it was news to me as I spent the previous months religiously studying all matters IS. Wait, maybe not the third observation. Oops, I'm such an airhead, Teehee~...

Why does this gimmick feel endearing when Komachi uses it, yet whenever I try, it sounds disgusting. Is there some sort of double standard in play?

Classes continued without interruption while I monologed about loner injustice until a free period began.

Ichika turned around and used this time to initiate a conversation," So Hachiman, did you know all that history stuff about IS and the Academy?" Let's see if our good "friend" actually developed his academic skill over the past few years. My money is on him still being stupid.

"Yes, why would I not? I read all the required books as you did. Right, Ichika?" The nervous sweat he was breaking out in confirmed my hunch. The Idiot strayed true to his nature and did no studying before school started. How is this guy the kid brother of the world-renown, Brunhilde?

"Ichika, you better hit the books fast as let me tell you, this material is boring, and I mean REALLY BORING. And trust me here since we both know that I despise Math and Science, the two main components of the reading." My words again wrecked Ichika's mental state as he dissolved into a comatose state. Glancing around the classroom in his absence. A crowd was growing outside in the hallway, a gaggle of girls wooing over my conversation with the Idiot. Have they not seen two "bros" talking before. How sheltered are these people if the loner is complaining of their lack of social interaction? I was bullied!

"Hikigaya-kun has such a sharp tongue if he can cut through Orimura-kun like butter, but luckily for me, I love "sharp." I just want to cuddle Ichika-kun to death when he looks sad like that. Heh, heh, heh I can already see it, Ichika the aggressive top and Hikitani-kun the submissive bottom." Very Sheltered. This time the turnout was worse when it came to the IS Academy student body's responses. Only 1 out of the 3 sounded somewhat sane, with the first being another bloody M, and the third a Fujoshi (Translator's Note: Fujoshis are usually women who enjoy BL/ Boys Love entertainment and push gay relationships wherever they can see one)... Disgusting. The sound of approaching footsteps brought both Ichika and myself to turn around and see one frowning Pouki-san in front of us. Ah man, if she's here, I need to find an excuse to leave immediately. I'm not keen on making any new "memories" today.

"Talk. Outside. Now." Again with the single-word sentences Shinonono-san, so violent. Ok, you want me to leave and let you catch up with your "childhood friend?" Ichika? I'll be happy to give you the Idiot, so I can enjoy some quality monologue time, or I can find a new best place. I'd like to do that. I attempted to rise out of my seat and walk away... Wait, I'm being stopped. This isn't good.

"Nuh-uh. You're coming too Hachiman, I'm not taking no for an answer." My former gym associate quietly explains while softly holding me in place. Woah there, jumping to the first-name basis, are we Shinonono-san. This is a big step from the "meat bags" and "Punchy-gayas" of before. Have you finally mellowed out as a person? Is this the beginning of my grand youth romantic comedy that is probably wrong? That sounds like a light novel title. Please, Rom-com Gods, don't let her newfound subtlety be a flag for the Shinonono route, as I have no intention of playing it.

"Do I have a choice Pouki-san?" If someone is so insistent on familiarity, where's the harm in trying out a pet name. Besides, this is the perfect opportunity to check if someone still suffers from anger issues. If she doesn't react, I bear a bit of embarrassment, but I find closure to long-term nightmares, and if she does, I can add another name to my growing Avoid list.

"Oh, poke plus Houki equals Pouki. That's a nice one Hachiman." Thank you, Orimura-kun, for having a sense of humor, but if you want to live, please don't look behind you to the seething rage goddess out for my blood.

*Cracks knuckles* "Oh Punchy-gaya, gotten cocky, haven't we? I think it's time I gave you a refresher course outside." Scary. Tsuntsun Pouki-san is very scary. The modesty you displayed was nothing more than a mirage.

"Fine, lead the way then." I weakly mutter, answering her question. The walk to the rooftop was incredibly uneventful. There were many stares towards Ichika and Pouki, who were walking ahead of me. A few curious glances came my way, but a quick glare sent them looking in the other direction. Outside, Ichika and Pouki walked to the railing while I decided to hang around by the door. For a few moments, life was peaceful as none of us spoke and enjoyed nature's cool spring breeze.

As per usual, Ichika killed the mood by deciding to open his mouth," It's been a while Houki... six years last time I checked. Looks like you've been doing well."

Houki-san was caught off guard by his nice-guy statement and turned away from him with a light blush on her face. Ooh, even Pouki-san has a dere-dere (Translator's Note: dere-dere= incredibly bashful and quiet side, very appealing in anime culture) side?

"How did you recognize me after all this time?" She replies in a subdued fashion.

"I just read about you in the newspaper last year, congrats on the championship. And how could I forget a childhood friend?" Ichika calmly explains, sporting his trademark grin.

"Wow, you read it too." Why are you staring at me while saying that? Is there something on my face? Are my fish eyes that interesting to you?

This moving reunion has gone for so long that I'm almost choking on its sentimentality... Need. To. Escape," I'm not sure about the two of you, but to me, it feels like I'm interrupting something, so if you don't mind..." I hastily explained to the others while lunging for the rooftop door. So close... yet so far.

"No, Hachiman, there is nothing wrong with you being here. In fact, I'm dying to know about your middle school days with Ichika." Shinonono cordially replied while again shutting off my escape plan. Sure, she's smiling at me, but it gives off a very different sensation than those of nice girls... It's cold and oppressive. Scary.

It looks like I needed to try a different approach, "As much as I would love to stay, it's not necessary. I can quickly catch everyone up to speed; you {Pouki} and Ichika were friends in the past until something happened. After you two disconnected, I met Ichika, and we were classmates for a bit, and then we split apart. One year ago, I met you {Pouki} at the gym, where I became your personal sparring partner for a month. So, in conclusion, you two were never fully separated, and this reunion is a waste of time. Technically, I was the link between the past and the present. Reintroductions over, we got class in a few minutes, and I would rather not be late for them." Nice move, quick and painless, with their gaping mouths on their faces; I believe my deduction was correct, as, after all, the Monster of Logic is never wrong. Ichika eventually comes to his senses and begins to walk inside while Pouki had other plans.

She pulled me aside by the collar, and with a strong pout (7.5/10), lambasted me with," You and me having a connection? Idiot, nincompoop, stupid Hachiman." Wait, when was my first name an insult, and why the blush Pouki-san? A guy like me may get the wrong impression, you know~... If I was some naive fool. We quickly made our way back to the classroom a few minutes before break ended, with Ichika waiting inside.

"What did you talk about with Hachiman, Houki?" The idiot just signed himself a death warrant later with his words, as the entire class took notice, and Pouki grew angrier. Can this guy shut up for once? It would do a world of good.

"Nothing." She curtly responds. I wonder why she's so wound up? The day is young, and many boring lectures await us. Speaking of misery, classes resume shortly, and I need to coach Ichika about something.

"Hey, Ichika, I think you understand all the school material," right" *wink*?" If the Idiot doesn't understand my intentions, then he's actually hopeless. What am I planning, you may ask? Seeing as we are spending the rest of the day going over the IS theory, and Ichika knows nothing, I'm just trying to spare him the trouble of being chastised by his sister, the teacher, by pretending to be competent. What, me caring about others sounds preposterous? That accusation hurts my sensitive feelings, you know~?.. Okay, you're right, as there lies an ulterior motive for my efforts. If Ichika slows down the upcoming lesson, Orimura-sensei will most likely charge me with helping him yet again. Why not any other eager student? She will probably justify it under "friendship" or "a public service," whatever those two mean.

"Yeah." He replies in his usual happy-go-lucky style. My plan is about to fail, right; I'm just hoping this doesn't spectacularly implode in my face.

The class soon resumed with Yamada-sensei giving a brief overview of the basic features of the IS. Everyone seemed to comprehend the information besides Ichika, obviously.

Once finished, Yamada-sensei asks," Any questions?"

And guess who decides to raise his hand in agony," Sensei, I understand everything... *briefly glances at me*... actually none of this." Wait, why did you look at me? Are you trying to make my "coaching" apparent to the rest of the class? Oh no, Orimura-sensei used Leer on Hachiman. It was super effective! Game over.

"Is anybody else lost?"

"..."

I think I'm screwed. Orimura-sensei is walking up to Ichika's desk... Ok, but what's the worst she can do, hit me? I'm pretty sure that's illegal... Wait, she's a world-renown IS pilot noted for her abrasive tendencies and is a high priority for the school. If I complained about "child abuse," the Academy administration would just laugh it off while highlighting some obscure clause of the school's handbook legalizing the practice. In other words, I'm in trouble.

"Did you complete the assigned reading before class, Orimura?" Sensei was pulling no punches with this one as she menacingly loomed over Ichika.

"Oh, that thick textbook Hachiman was talking about. No, I threw it away. I thought it was a phone book." Wow, the Idiot did it and threw me under the bus with him. I'm not even surprised anymore.

Orimura-sensei savagely grinned at his response before continuing," I'll assign you another, so you must cram it within the week... And as for help, you can rely on your "good friend" Hikigaya, just like the good old days." No! My week has been ruined, all thanks to one Orimura Ichika. I'm never listening to my conscience and helping out anyone ever again... Besides, Komachi, of course.

"That's tough... but actually, with Hachiman's help, I think it's possible." Even you, Ichika, see me as nothing but a tool. I thought we were "middle school friends" and not "associates with benefits."

*Sigh* "Okay, sensei, I'll help him." I drone miserably. After that outburst, the class continued uneventfully until lunchtime.

"Hey, Hachiman, let's go to the cafeteria with Houki today." I really want to say no to that offer, but our third member would have other plans for my rejection. I don't want to make headline news for, "Male IS pilot beat up by female classmate for not going to lunch together." Even loners have some semblance of pride.

"Ok, but it seems like someone wants to talk to you first." The blond ojou-sama decides now is the time to make her formal introduction.

Ichika turned around and noticed her appearance, "Uh... Who are you?" he blankly asked. Clueless and vague, the polar opposite of your sister. What grand juxtaposition between the two Orimuras. What, I don't actually know who she is too? Please, I know all about this ojou-sama whose name is...

"Have you never heard of the great British National Representative Candidate Cecilia Alcott-san?" Of course, Alcott, Cecilia Alcott if following her nation's customs. Yeah, I definitely remember her introduction earlier today, little twirl and all. I'm not forgetful in the slightest. It's just that a lot has passed since then, and I've never needed to remember so many names before being the class pariah and all. For future references, this rich girl will now be referred to as the "ojou-san." Why ojou-san and not ojou-sama or her name? The first option implies a sense of equality between us, which, if I'm not mistaken, upsets the egotistical and cocky. If you didn't know, the natural pesticide against teenage romance is a poor introduction, so...

The second, ojou-sama, has too many syllables, doesn't roll off the tongue, and I'm a pauper, not a butler. Finally, if I use her name... it sets up the road of misunderstandings. It starts small, dreamily muttering it in the bathroom mirror, picturing her smiling face talking to you. Later, you attentively stare at your phone, hoping for a response to your text messages that never arrive. And Then- Wait, I'm not doing this again. Moving on, that haughty disposition, I expect nothing less from you, ojou-san.

"British, huh? Makes sense with those blond drills and snobby attitude. How's that Empire of yours... Oh right, still dead. Sorry for even asking, ojou-san." Wait, did I just mutter out my thoughts aloud? And is the ojou-san glaring at me again, this time even harder than before. How is she even capable of that? Stupid mouth, just listen to my brain...

I have no idea what you mean, Hikigaya-san? Our words may have been obnoxious, but they contained an air of truth.

*sigh* I hate it when you're right, Mouth-san. Sometimes I forget how forward-thinking my plans are.

Ichika decided that was the perfect time to add more fuel to this dumpster fire of a conversation by interjecting," What is a National Representative Candidate? I've never heard of it before?" Wow... I know you're an Idiot, but this is a new low Orimura-kun. You make me feel ashamed to even call you my "former middle school classmate," let alone a friend. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what the term means.

Apparently, our two remarks upset the ojou-san off as she exclaimed," First, they insult my culture and then lack even the most basic of knowledge. Are all Japanese men this incompetent!" Ok, attack Ichika and I all you want but hands off of Japan. You don't see mocking the poor state of British national cuisine, do you? Half of their foods are just imports from other countries. I guess the sun never sets on the culinary appropriating Empire...

Sometimes I'm shocked at the caliber of my jokes, you know~. I'm the greatest comedian alive...

I could hear the "danger alarm" blaring in my head, warning me to quickly exit this conversation before I raised an inescapable flag. Sure, I've completed my plan to crush any stupid high school love story, but that has a limit. My countless hours of media consumption clearly spelled out the near future: two people meet and don't see eye to eye, they argue, the situation escalates, a challenge ensues, insert generic Tsundere route here; following this line of logic, I would inevitably say something idiotic and consequentially fight the ojou in an IS match...

It would be a disaster, she's a National Representative Candidate, the creme-de-la-creme of the 1st Years, and I'm nothing but an arrogant amateur boasting limited flight time. She would crush me, and it might awaken some possessive feelings in her, which is very bad. My high school career just began, and there's no way I'm allowing it to end so predictably.

"Ichika, it seems we've angered the ojou-san greatly with our presence. I believe it is time to make our tactical retreat to the cafeteria." I quickly remarked as I dragged the Idiot away from the fuming Briton growing angrier at us after my comments. I don't need his stupidity ruining my plans yet again...

Again another uneventful walk before we reach our destination, the IS Academy Mess Hall. It seems that all of the school's budget went into the classrooms as the cafeteria was pretty ordinary with a few self-check-out stands and a regular lunch line for warm meals. Being the efficient loner I am, I settled on two sandwiches and some milk while the Idiot decided to wait for some elaborate hot meal. Settling at an empty table in the corner, we began to chow down.

Halfway into our meal, Pouki-san decided to join us, and minutes later, Ichika decided to pelt me with questions, yet again...

"Hey Hachiman, seriously, just what is a National Representative Candidate? I have a feeling the "ojou-san" was going to explain, but you quickly interrupted her." Buddy, this is page 1 material from the Textbook. Uh, do I actually have to explain this, let alone in Ichika terms?

"Uh, fine, you know the gyms from that famous show, the one with the electric mouse?" I hate doing this, but I can't teach a completely unaware student in any other way.

*Nods head*

"So imagine that countries are those gyms and the National Representative Candidates are the gym leaders or the toughest and brightest IS pilots of their country. Many of them own personal ISs supplied by their home governments and undergo intense training to perfect their skills." I elaborate.

"Oh, I get it, so that's why Cecilia-san was so smug. She stood at the top of the pecking order while we lied at the bottom." He finally concludes.

"Exactly, and that's why I want us to avoid her for as long as possible; fighting the best so soon just screams," bad idea." You could say we don't have enough "badges" for her gym battle. Also, I'm not keen on making front-page news for losing to her; my parents have enough to worry about with work, and they don't need a troublesome son on top of that. If anything, you should be doubly worried about an early loss with your relationship with Orimura-sensei. Those predatory media agencies would leap at the opportunity to criticize the great Brunhilde legacy." I honestly shared my thoughts on the trials and tribulations of trading blows with the ojou. Why am I being so helpful to Ichika? Well, of course, it's because we're best friends and need to... Hah, I can't even finish that sentence with a straight face. The two of us are the world's only male IS pilots, meaning that if he messes up, I will be caught in the ensuing crossfire. I'm just trying to fight winning battles by planning ahead.

"... As usual, you have an explanation for everything, Hachiman. I can already see the headlines, "Orimura Ichika Brings Shame to the Brunhilde Name Losing to the British Representative," and the resulting punishment for my actions. What little brother I would be then." Ichika uncharacteristically sighs in response. I'm impressed, as it looks like someone learned a few things since middle school, understanding that actions have consequences. Maybe high school won't be such a disaster, after all... Who am I kidding; I said the same thing last year, and look what happened.

"Wow, I knew you were a thinker, Hachiman, but someone who clinically analyzes the ramifications of a brief conversation. Who even are you?" The third member of our table finally interjects.

"I'm just a mild-mannered teenager who can read between the lines. That's who." I effortlessly reply like I haven't rehearse this line hundreds of times to my bedroom mirror ("Who am I? I am the mysterious specter, the wandering adventurer, 108 MAN, that's who.")

"Suspicious... Moving on, that's how you {Ichika} understand things? Anime references... Literally, nothing has changed about you." She eventually responds, changing the discussion's topic. Sadly Pouki-san, that much is true. The easiest way to reach Ichika's head is anime, particularly of the Shounen variety. I swear I'm not making this up. It was the only reason I kept this guy from failing his first year of middle school.

Infinite Loner

Lunch soon ended, and the three of us walked our way back to class. The rest of the day was also uneventful besides the piercing glares sent my way courtesy of the ojou-san. However, classes eventually ended, and I was finally free... As free, I could be with an idiot conjoined at the hip. Being the only two male IS pilots, we were bunked together in Room 1025: a relatively plain dormitory with a micro-kitchen located near the door, a hotel-like bathroom housing a shower with way too many bath soaps (what even is a conditioner), two beds paired with cream-colored sheets, a large window overlooking IS Academy grounds, and a pair of polished oak desks coupled with new desktop computers. I would have immediately started relaxing once inside, but a book was waiting on one of the desks... a very thick book.

"Buddy, I think it's time we start studying." I groaned in agony, remembering the "promise" Orimura-sensei forced down my throat.

"Ok let's do this Hikigaya-sensei." Ichika halfheartedly cheered. *sigh* At least he called me Sensei, and with that whimper, our long study session began.

Preview:

"Hmm..."

"Why are you glaring at me, Shinonono-san?"

"I was just sizing up my new roommate."

"Oh, I thought you were disappointed at not being with Orimura-kun."

"W-what are you talking about?"

"Was I mistaken? I thought your unsubtle looks at the front of the room were a clear giveaway. So if it wasn't him, could it be..."

"Let's stop splitting hairs over pedantic issues..."

"Takatsuki Shizune."

"Takatsuki-san. We need to get along as roommates!"

"You're easier to read than a book, Shinonono-san."

"Hah, hah, hah... She's stronger than I expected."

"I wonder what this year holds for me with people like Shinonono, Orimura, and that mysterious Hikigaya Hachiman around?"

"And I thought those male pilots were formidable. They pale in comparison to my roommate."

"I don't get it, Hachiman. Why did they scrap the initial plans for IS?"

"*sigh* I keep asking myself that same question every day... Moon colonies were possible, Ichika. Sometimes I can't stand reality. If only we lived in a fictional universe, then anything could happen."

"I see."

"Don't look at me like I'm crazy. Just imagine all the other possible outcomes out there?"

[In another universe]

"*sigh* Why does the world have to be so cruel?" I groaned after taking a look at my near-empty, Wallet-kun.

"Why are you so upset, Master?" The source of my woes asks with a bright smile lining her face. Sometimes I have to ask myself where everything went wrong, she used to be such a sweet girl, and now she's a bottomless money pit. It's always, "Can you buy me this crepe, Master?" or if that doesn't work, "Hachi-chan~?" and I fold immediately. I've said it before, but their cuteness is too strong and needs to be patched for the sake of game balance!

"He must be upset at how we manipulate him into emptying his personal funds on our every whim." And the worst part is that they're fully aware of it...

"Huh, what do you mean?" Well, at least one of them is.

"Don't worry about a thing; you're cuter that way."

"My life is such a catastrophe."

[Returning to our regularly scheduled program]

"Hmm, that could also be my potential cat-chphrase... Get it, because it has..."

"Hachiman can we go back to talking about the material? We're burning precious daylight right now."

"Next time on Infinite Loner Chapter 7: Again, Life Continues to Ruin His Plans."

"Another universe and a matching Hikigaya Hachiman... I wonder how he would feel about IS Academy?"

Author's Note- Hello again, it's me, Mayflower Productions, here with another short message at the end of a chapter. As you can see, this was the largest installment of Infinite Loner by far and introduces many important plot points for the rest of the story. You (the reader) may not completely agree with what I've implemented or could suggest some slight tweaks, and if that's the case please write a review. Believe me, having some outside input makes finding inspiration or picturing scenes much easier, so tell me anything about my story... Please, I beg you. Ok, I'm slightly joking, but I would genuinely like to hear your thoughts to have a pulse on audience approval. Also, we've hit 100 followers. Hooray! I never thought that my first story would reach such a milestone and I am grateful to everyone who made this possible. If anyone cared to know chapters 6 and 7 are my interpretation of early Infinite Stratos, so if you're curious about the next update, watch the IS anime or read the light novel. Trust me, it helps future updates make a lot more sense. I've been rambling for long enough so... thank you for reading Infinite Loner and until next time, I'll catch you on the flip side.

Chapter End