Chapter 22: Attack on Ottawa (Part 1)

A lone man limped across the Canadian border. In one hand was a soy latte, in the other was a bike lock. The man's name was Antifasus Grandus, and he had a score to settle with the Freedom Convoy.

The Canadian security forces allowed Antifasus in without questioning, as it was quite obvious he was a dirty lib by his appearance. He was clearly a Trudeau sympathizer. He was there to bring an end to all the Freedom Convoys in Canada and get his revenge for his slaughtered comrades.

Antifasus arrived in Ottawa where a large number of trucks were honking. He was enraged by the masculine, straight, white men. As one approached him and told him to take his mask off, Antifasus snapped and swung his bike lock at the trucker's nose! The trucker's head exploded on impact. Before his friends could catch him, Antifasus had slipped away.

Meanwhile, Edward Durr's Freedom Convoy had crossed the Canadian border. He was now the Jaw Zombie, which gave him the power to… bite harder? It was a redundant ability since he only ate donuts anyway. Anyway, the Freedom Convoy was joined by 500 of Musk and Yang's robot mercenaries while the rest stayed in NYC to help with reconstruction.

The truckers had lost dozens of comrades on their travels, but their numbers increased as hundreds more joined the cause. People were rising for freedom everywhere!

Ron and Mikasa DeSantis were having hot and steamy sex in the back of Durr's truck. Durr could barely drive because they were making such a racket. However, DeSantis insisted that they had to have a good lovemaking session before they defeated Trudeau.

Suddenly, there were a bunch of horses with black riders (not racially but like with black robes and stuff) that galloped past the trucks with whips. The Nazgul/stormtroopers of Trudeau were on the move. Now that the Emergency Powers Act was in place, Trudeau was sending his most demonic and capable soldiers after the Freedom Convoy in Ottawa.

"We gotta stop these guys before they reach the protest," said DeSantis. "Trudeau is gonna massacre everyone."

"Aye," replied Donut Durr, transforming into the Jaw Zombie and leaping onto one of the horses. He bit the horse like it was a crunchy donut and the heathen who was atop it fell off and broke his neck.

With Durr's queue, the other truckers exited their vehicles and charged at Trudeau's Nazgul soldiers. The commie soldiers tried to tramble the truckers, but the truckers exuded so much masculine energy that the horses got spooked. They threw the soldiers off of them and trampled them instead!

"WOW!" shouted DeSantis.

"We gotta keep moving forward," Mikasa replied. "Until our enemies are destroyed."

And that's exactly what they did! They were now within the city limits and they saw a line of trucks. The truckers were brawling with the evil communist police of Trudeau. Many of the police were wearing black war paint on their faces, just like their leader Trudeau does. It was very racist.

DeSantis wanted to give an epic speech to the truckers, especially since Canada would become another US territory like Latin America. He was gonna be the President of Canada once Trudeau got destroyed. He would restore it from a 9th world country to a 1st world country.

"My fellow patriots," he shouted. "I have come here today to liberate Canada from its national socialist leader! Trudeau wants to make your lives hell, but we're gonna make his life hell instead! Fight, fight, fight!"

"Tatakae!" shouted Mikasa (it means fight in the Japan). Some people in the crowd nodded along. Not really because they knew what it meant but because DeSantis and his waifu were hot.

DeSantis was happy that his speech was getting good reception. He had practiced it in the mirror a few times. Anyway, the truckers grabbed their big guns and got into attack formation. They were about to charge when suddenly…

"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" a horrifying shriek that sounded like a stoned college kid.

From the other side of town, a horde of Antifa heathens was running as fast as Usain Bolt down the street. They each held a bike lock and were screaming things like "DeathSantis", "Attack on Titan is overrated and the ending was shit", and worst of all, "vaccines save lives". (Now it did save Durr's life but only because he ate the zombie shifter AOC)

Antifaces Grandus led the Antifa commies as they began chanting the Internationale and other leftist toons. The Freedom Convoy braced themselves as the battle was about to begin.

"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" shouted the Antifa horde as it descended upon the Freedom Convoy.

The truckers were not deterred. They knew victory was within their grasp. They grabbed their AR-15s (well, the American ones did, the Canadians had to use knives) and fired at the commie scum. The commies shrieked but did not respond in any other way. They truly were zombies.

One Antifa cuck thought he could take on Ron DeSantis himself. This dumbass ran right towards the President with his bike lock and swung it with all his might. DeSantis grabbed him with his left hand and threw him against the side of a truck. It was just too easy. After T-bagging his corpse like it was a Call of Duty game, he ran to find his next victim.

Mikasa swung around with her ODM gear and slashed at the commies. They tried throwing their bike locks but nothing would work. She would just swing from roof to roof and cut their napes.

Larry Hogan was still feeling gassy. He dropped some fat farts on a few of the Antifa zombies. At this point, his underpants were trashed so he just dropped his pants altogether and went nude from the waist down.

"Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhh," Hogan moaned as his explosive diarrhea exploded in the faces of the commies.

Edward Durr was now the Jaw Zombie and was biting the commies hard! He also threw pumpernickel donuts at Antifa and watched as they shrieked in agony and disintegrated. However, there was one abnormal zombie that did not hate pumpernickel donuts. In fact, he grabbed them and ate every one of them. Uh oh! Durr was in trouble now!

Durr leaped out of the zombie's way as it charged through and ripped a trucker to pieces! It was trucker #2, Durr's best friend! Donut Durr was enraged now!

"Fuck you!" he shouted as he grabbed the zombie and bit into it with his big jaw. Durr ripped the zombie in half with one bite and threw its cursed remains everywhere!

The truckers were losing the battle, unfortunately. Trudeau's black riders had shown up and were trampling everyone. These black riders were stronger than usual. They were Trudeau's personal guard! The Prime Minister himself was here!

Ron DeSantis was fighting alongside Larry Hogan. He had a nose plug which was necessary for anyone within 50 yards of Hogan. The Maryland governor was sharting on the commies and Ottawa police when he looked up and noticed the incoming forces of Trudeau.

"Watch this!" Hogan exclaimed as he charged towards the black riders.

"No wait!" shouted DeSantis but it was too late! The horsemen sliced off Hogan's head!

"Nooooooooo!" cried DeSantis. Hogan was a goner, and the truckers faced almost certain defeat.

All around them, the police and Antifa closed in. To make things even worse, Trudeau himself had shown up!

"Well well well," grinned Trudeau, rubbing his hands together awkwardly. "It looks like you're surrounded, DeathSantis. Time to put an end to your rebellion. You never stood a chance against me."

Trudeau was wearing his black war paint and what looked like a traditional African garb. He was being carried by Antifa zombies like he was a prince. It was very disgusting.

"Did you really think you could win?" Trudeau laughed maniacally. "The police will never betray me, and the vaccines have made Antifa my pawns. I've won!"

DeSantis didn't know what to do. He looked at his beloved waifu, Mikasa, with tears in his eyes. Trudeau was about to cut them to pieces. It was very scary.

"Antifasus Grandus, you may deal the killing blow against DeSantis!" Trudeau declared. "As revenge for the genocide he committed in Maryland."

Antifasus Grandus approached DeSantis with his bike lock. He was about to deal the killing blow, when suddenly, he threw it at Trudeau instead! Trudeau screamed like a baby as the bike lock smashed open his skull.

"Fuck you, liberal! I support the NDP!" Antifasus shouted and the commies began chanting the Internationale once again. Antifa had turned against the police!

DeSantis was very confused, but he was happy to see the evil thralls of Antifa had now joined forces with the truckers to fuck the police. Some of the police attempted to retreat, but

Durr and his truckers blocked the exits to the city and threw pumpernickel donuts at them.

DeSantis bit his hand and turned into the Attack Zombie. He lunged at some of the police including Trudeau's personal Nazgul. He had to avenge Larry Hogan. The police could barely even fight back as they were turned into mush at the hands of America's Manliest President.

Now the Ottawa police were the ones outnumbered as the truckers and Antifa stormed the Ottawa parliament. The MP's screamed and ran away as the freedom fighters made Jan 6 look like a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. The truckers placed the American flag and the Antifa placed the Soviet flag on the west and east sides of the parliament building respectively. The fascist Canadian government was no more.

After the battle, there was a lot of tension in the air between Antifa and the truckers. Antifasus Grandus and Ron DeSantis were nervous that one side would attack the other. It was like the beginning of a Cold War. However, their diplomats negotiated a treaty that partitioned Canada from west to east. The commies would get the east and the Freedom Convoy would get the west. This decision was tough and was not without some pushback.

"We should take all of Canada!" argued Durr. "These commies can't be trusted!"

"We'd be dead without the commies," DeSantis explained. "They killed Trudeau."

Durr sighed. He knew they did not have the strength to continue fighting at the moment. It was time to return to the United States. After all, he was now the Senate President of New Jersey.

Canada's political prisoners were freed and Tamara Lich, one of the Convoy's top organizers, became the interim governor of the Protectorate of Canada, also known as West Canada. The American Freedom Convoy entrusted her with the management of the new territory and returned down south to fight the commies in the United States (like Charlie Crist).

Along the way, they held a small funeral for Larry Hogan. They never found his body so they just buried his head. It was really sad. Overall, it was a pretty devastating conflict but the forces of freedom were victorious, nonetheless. Antifasus Grandus ruled the Canadian Democratic Republic (East Canada) with an iron fist, but DeSantis would have to wait to deal with them.

Meanwhile, across the Atlantic Ocean, Joseph was back in Israel with the Mossad. Yachim Anoos and Naftali Bennett were with them.

"The Moaning Fridge must not fall into the hands of our enemies, especially an enemy as dangerous as Wang Wang Ma," said Anoos.

"Indeed," said Bennett. "We must hunt down Wang Wang Ma and eradicate him."

TO BE CONTINUED