Chapter 10: Middle School Continues to Haunt Him

Foreword- I'm Mayflower Productions and happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers, and to everyone else, I hope you're all doing well. Today is the start of the next arc of Infinite Loner with the Class Rep Cup firmly behind us. Hikigaya now faces an even tougher challenge... his past. If you're following canon IS, Chapter 10 is roughly 3 episodes into the anime and a few volumes into the light novel, so we're slowly making progress towards the finale. I appreciated reading all the reviews, and I want to see more coming in the future, as, at this point, any criticism is constructive criticism. Now without further ado here comes Chapter 10: Middle School Continues to Haunt Him.

Infinite Loner- POV shift, line break "When it comes to losing..."- Dialogue

Disclaimer: I do not own Oregairu, Infinite Stratos, or any other intellectual properties that may appear in this story. Please don't sue me.

While sitting in my dorm, idly reading a light novel, I fully came to grasp a horrifying conclusion; I won the Classroom Representative Cup. Yes, that's right, I, Hikigaya Hachiman, loner extraordinaire, am now my class's official corporate slave. All those training and study hours just freed up are now gone... Poof. All because the brutish gorilla happened to take a shower in my room (because, Rom-com Gods). Leading to her temporarily wrecking my consciousness, allowing the Idiot to provoke the ojou-san into a fight without my input. I couldn't even find solace in my pastime. I don't understand what I'm reading. It's not a paint-by-numbers Isekai, but a horror, starring Hikigaya Hachiman... *gasp* working to the bone, slaving away at a never-ending pile of homeroom paperwork with his homeroom teacher maniacally cackling behind him. It may be inevitable, but I will not allow my freedom to die so quietly!

As today was Saturday, classes ended early, so I had the day to myself. There were no other pressing responsibilities to attend to, so I could relax to my heart's content, but that was the problem. The longer I stayed in the dorms, the more likely some cliched Rom-com event (protagonist runs into love interest in the hallway, love interest makes the protagonist a boxed lunch, but it's horrible, etc.) would ruin my day...

Wait, maybe I could "tactically retreat" from IS Academy to mentally wind down back at home in Chiba overnight. I could enjoy some time with my sister, the only person I trust. Putting on my "Sachi-Shades," IS Academy uniform, and carrying a small "survival bag" (Vita-chan and some pocket money), I quietly exited Room 1025 while its other occupant was away. Now in the hallway, I channeled maximum effort into "Stealth Hikki" to avoid any students, and fifteen minutes later, I was just outside the Academy's campus. Only a bit longer, and I would be on the monorail, off "Insanity Island."... My plan was just at its completion when an unknown variable entered the equation; someone unfamiliar had just stepped off the platform...

Wait, I know her, smooth brown hair in yellow-ribboned twin-tails, friendly turquoise eyes, light bounce in her step, somewhat below average stature. Oh no. If she spots me now, I may be dragged back to the Academy. My failure is no longer an option!

Activating evasive maneuvers, I discreetly hid in a nearby bush, praying that she quickly moves to her final destination, allowing for the completion of my grand master plan, "Escape IS Island.". After waiting a couple of minutes, the "threat" seemed to have vacated the premises, with the monorail platform empty. I could easily assume the coast was clear and confidently marched forward, but that's something a dense Harem-Protagonist would do, and they always end up tripping annoying flags. However, I won't since I'm better than those pea-brains, as I have a brain and know how to use it. Commencing last-minute scan of the area, left quadrant... clear, right quadrant... clear, back-.

*taps shoulder* "Whatcha doing here, Hachi-kun, playing Spy?"

"..." My heart dropped. I am in no way ready for this reunion. Sure, I occasionally dreamt about this moment, but I never thought it would ever happen so soon. What do I say? How should I feel? So many questions begin crowding my mind, and I'm afraid that I'll mentally crash...

Calm down, Hachiman, emotion clouds reason, and this isn't middle school anymore; we've evolved into the Monster of Logic, the man with a plan. Now the question is how to manipulate the situation?

Wait, I haven't seen her in about two years. I can exploit that fact to my advantage, "I'm very sorry young lady, but you may be mistaking me for someone else. Do I know you?" I calmly questioned, hiding any of my earlier fear. Can Lady Luck let me have one good day at IS Academy (my Cup victory does not count as it was Ichika's problem, and now I'm the class's corporate slave)? I feel like I'm owed some good fortune after my horrible middle school experience.

She disapproved of my response as her smile faded," Don't you remember me, Hachi-kun? I'm your best friend who you haven't seen in over two years." Me having a best friend? Hilarious. If anyone from elementary school heard about this, they would be having a laughing fit. At me, of course, but who cares about the specifics?

"Us, friends? I'm a loner, an outcast, a weirdo, someone widely recognized as undeserving of any interest or attention. Knowing this, why would I reach out to other people and risk heartbreak? You're most definitely mixing me up with some naive fool." I watched her mood progressively darken as I spoke. Uh, what's going on? Why isn't she walking away? This isn't what happened in Infinite Romance.

It looks like the Monster of Logic's genius strategy backfired, leaving retreat the only option. "If you will excuse me, I have a monorail to catch." I desperately tried salvaging the remains of my plan, breaking out into a mad dash for the train. However, I already knew it was futile, as the writing on the wall was clear; I was soon to be caught in another grueling Tsunado.

*cracks knuckles* "Maybe, I'll have to jog your memory a bit!" Before I could get very far, she lunged for my shoulder and effortlessly held me in place... I need to exercise more.

"Hold on, young lady, I haven't recovered from my Class Rep Cup yet. Besides, violence is never the answer, right?" I frantically pleaded.

"Slap!" I could only sigh as I lost consciousness. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't escape my past, so just like old times, my calls fell on deaf ears...

Infinite Loner

Uh, she still packs a wallop, which now makes it two girls in my IS Academy class that can beat me into unconsciousness (excluding Orimura-sensei). Glancing at my watch after waking up in a ditch, I saw that the time was 9 A.M., giving me 15 minutes to run to the classroom before I was late. Judging from my position, it would take half an hour to make it to class, making my tardiness inevitable, but that is no matter, as with Loner Skill #52: Hyena Dash, I can get there in no time...

With its assistance, I made it to Homeroom with five whole minutes to spare. Swapping 108 Loner Skills for "Stealth Hikki": I quietly entered the classroom, slid into my desk, and acted so unassuming (read: resting my head on my desk, fake sleeping) that not a single soul could prove my disappearance...

Strange, the Idiot was unusually withdrawn today and was only intently staring at his desk. I wonder what's eating at him? There's no math test, "Why are you so quiet today, Ichika? Cat got your tongue?"

He was slightly startled by my question but quickly turned around and replied, "Where have you been lately Hachiman, I looked everywhere for you yesterday" Hmm, what excuse can I use?

"I was just out on a really long jog, looking for a... Max Coffee vending machine, pay no attention to it. But more importantly, what happened to you?" I can't tell him about the "chance encounter" I had as he would laugh at me and pique the class's interest. Spelling game over as I depended on the whole "dark and mysterious" persona to keep my sanity at this Academy.

Ichika stood silent before relenting, "Fine, so after you left on Saturday, we had extra outdoor training, and Cecilia suddenly started using my given name, which was odd. Doesn't it take time for those sorts of things to happen? We held a celebration party afterward for the Class Rep Cup, where everyone acted like I was the winner when you actually won the match. I had to awkwardly pose for a picture that wasn't for me. This time both Cecilia and Houki were unusually clingy to me. Especially the former who kept trying to pry information about your childhood. I nearly suffocated with all the girls crowding at my table. I've now come to appreciate the relative quiet we have at our lunch table and the room more." This is new, the idiotic extrovert enjoying peace and tranquility. Maybe my tendencies have rubbed off on him?

The part about the mislabeled winner was clearly expected with Ichika having a much larger fanbase in the class than myself (thank god for that), but the ojou-san's behavior was strange. How could she be so friendly to the guys who ridiculed and defeated her not long ago, especially on the same day we won? I'm really hoping that I haven't raised any flags with her since I tried crafting an entire persona to limit the possibility. Her attempts at researching me just scream trouble. The last thing I needed was some crazy woman after me... Wait, another, adding the brutish gorilla.

Speaking of crazy women, one decides to make her appearance,*slams hands-on table* "Hachiman, where have you been hiding recently? I was so worried about my punching... good friend going missing." That slip-up doesn't work, Missy. I already know your true intentions with me, your foil, the perfect sandbag. I can take a punch without complaining and be silenced if I do otherwise... It's almost sad how much of a doormat I am for the gorilla. Alas, the steel floor is inescapable for someone like me.

"Ah, you consider me a good friend now? I'm so touched by your kindness Houki-san and don't worry, I was only out doing some intense exercises to stay loose for our upcoming training sessions." Sarcasm, the best deterrent I could ever ask for. My word choice pushed the right buttons as Shinonono backed away, blushing, muttering something about "Idiot Hachiman" or the like.

The welcome party was not over yet as the ojou-san swiftly took the place of the retreating Tsundere," Good morning Hikigaya-kun, I take it you have heard the news about the new transfer student already." She warmly remarks with a small smile lining her face. Uh, Ichika was right: her behavior is weird and offputting. Weren't we bitter rivals just the other day? This takes the trope of the former enemy joining the hero's party a bit too far. I can still remember how you called me a filthy rodent, "Oh, don't worry about something like that, as it's all water under the bridge." She seemingly answered my looming concern. Hold on, how can you read my thoughts? Are you an esper?

The only explanation I can scrounge up is that girls here don't follow social conventions since three (not including Sachi, being the partner of an Academy student) students have referred to me by some variation of Hachiman. Maybe Komachi is right, and I will get a girlfriend here... Hilarious. Ha, ha, ha. I'm so funny using her catchphrase, not once but twice in the last 48 hours. I want to slam my head into the nearest wall.

Ichika, unaware of the hot topic, tried fishing for answers," What do you mean by a new transfer student? I've heard nothing about this." Yes, Orimura-san, your ignorance makes perfect sense as this is a very recent development, and I only know, being a first-hand source of the transfer's appearance. Wait, how does the ojou-san know about that encounter... Was she stalking me? I can take artificial kindness, physical abuse, and blackmail, but stalking, that's a bridge too far.

I glared at the ojou-san until she gave me an answer, "Whatever you're thinking is preposterous. I hold myself to higher standards than unsubtle surveillance..." She momentarily paused, nervously avoiding my eye contact. I continued staring, dead fish eyes boring through her entire existence. What are you hiding from me? I can play the waiting game all day." I only care for the well-being of my fiercest rivals... you could say it's a sense of noblesse oblige." I don't buy that response, ojou-san. You're not making me feel the slightest bit relieved. I always knew the odds were low, but with this many girls attending IS Academy, it's not surprising that at least one of them is a Yandere. However, the fact that it's my prideful British classmate concerns me. Was she only pretending to hate me a few days ago? "Are you even listening to a single word I say, Hikigaya Hachiman?" Am I going to wake up one morning pinned to a wall by Blue Tears' drones while the ojou-san eerily professes her undying affection for one dead-eyed loner? "I'm not a psychotic maiden smitten with you!" It seems that I've been underestimating my classmates. I can't believe what horrifying creatures exist under the surface.

"Is he always like this?"

"Yes, and sometimes he's stuck like this for hours." How dare you, Ichika, believe that my monologues are some sort of loading screen interrupting everyone else. I discuss serious topics here: nice girls leading naive fools into creating misunderstandings and the ever-prevalent honey-trap epidemic. It looks like someone's not receiving any help on their next world history assignment.

"Ignoring the fact of Class Rep's "unique" personality." Hey, Generic classmate #27, I heard that attack on my habits. "Apparently, the transfer student already claimed the rep spot for Class 2 and is the Chinese National Representative, but nothing we cannot handle." Generic classmate #27 provided the necessary exposition behind our new "peer" and saved me the headache of asking others for it...

What, it's not like I can't hold a conversation, as I talk with Komachi all the time. Maybe not recently, for obvious reasons, but the experience matters...

Wait, what do you mean family doesn't count, it only makes me look even more pathetic. I've never heard of this. Are we both reading from the current edition of How to Talk to People?..

What do you mean that book is a scam, only sold to fools? There were so many positive reviews for it and a high-quality commercial online. When I purchased the book, everyone at the store was laughing and celebrating alongside me. All my classmates stared in wonder every time I pulled it out to study. That "scam" helped me survive middle school without any problems... No, the internet lied to me! I wasted all that birthday money for no reason.

"So, does that mean she's facing Hachiman in the rep tournament this week alongside Class 3 and 4's Representatives?" Ichika added his piece to the conversation. Hold on, "class rep tournament," what is this? When I said that I applied (read: pressured) for my homeroom representative (read: corporate slave) vacancy, inter-class duels were not what I had in mind for my potential job description. I always thought class reps do paperwork occasionally (read: every day) and attend productive (read: annoying) meetings with the student council.

In other news, who even is the IS Academy Student Council President? I've never met them before or even seen their name in the Academy Handbook. Don't high schools usually hold orientations near the year's start in the auditorium, and this person gives a speech there? All I received on my first day were suffering a close-shave arriving, a slew of unsettling reunions, the scorn of my British classmate, and books... tons of books. Knowing my luck, I'll probably meet the President soon, whether I liked it or not.

Just as I was about to voice my complaints about this surprise development, a new voice injected," Don't underestimate Class 2 as our rep is a personal IS holder too!" Let's see, brown hair tied into twin-tails, blue-green eyes, yellow ribbons... Yep, it's "her": my recent assailant from last night...

Ichika, also recognizing her voice, rises from his seat," Rin, is that you?" If I can offer you any advice Orimura-san, please don't get her mad if you like living.

"Yes, it is I, the Class 2 rep and Chinese Representative Fang Rin!" Just as foolhardy and cocky as ever Rin-san, I see nothing has changed since middle school (not referencing his blackout last night, too embarrassing). And just like then, I will lie my head on my desk, pretend to be asleep, and let Ichika do all the talking.

"Rin, why are you trying to act so big: that's not your style." Sadly it is Ichika, as back then, she would put on the nice-girl front with you and act aggressively with me whenever you were not around. Ahh, middle school, the worst three years of my life.

[Flashback]

It was just another day of middle school. Boring classes droning on in the background, and more boring classmates partaking in youthful (read: vapid and superficial) conversations. Why was I lied to? Media taught me that this would be an exciting time, where I go on wacky adventures and make great friends. How has everything gone so wrong? Everyone is either coldly indifferent, treats me like trash, or is like Ichika, that horrifying enigma of a person. There's Orimoto too, but let's not talk about her...

Refund me back my hope and optimism! Unrealized expectations aside, I found solace in my bleak reality by sleeping on my desk during the lunch break before I was rudely interrupted," *nudge* Hey Hachi-kun, where's Ichika? I'm bored."

"Rin-san, I don't know, so please leave me alone. We have math after this, and I need maximum energy to even comprehend the lecture." Why am I her first target after Ichika? There are other students in this class, you know~? Go torture Orimoto or something... Actually, don't that, as she's a virtuous girl, the gold standard for adolescence. I'm grateful to even bask in her presence. Someone like her doesn't deserve the disservice of dealing with the likes of Rin-san.

"Hey, Hachi-kun, is it just me, or did someone badmouth me?" The sound of Rin-san cracking her knuckles broke my lull, and I saw that her earlier smile had faded. Huh, what could she be so upset about? I'm pretty sure that I said nothing to warrant such a reaction.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but if you're so angry, I should probably take my leave." I attempted to walk away from her to spend the rest of the break on the rooftop. If Rin-san got too riled up, my classmates would take notice and ask for my "assistance" after school. It's like everyone thought the two of us were dating and were jealous of my "flirting" with her. I don't know how they made such a misunderstanding, but I was in no mood to escalate the situation.

"Huh, where do you think you're going, Hachi-kun?" She grabbed onto my shoulder as I pivoted towards the door. *sigh* Why can't I catch a break?

"The bathroom?" I tried coming up with a viable excuse. Maybe this time, things will finally go my way...

"Likely story." And like usual, Rin-san effortlessly read my actions. My luck is just the worst.

"Grr..." I grumbled as I backed down and retook my seat. I need to look into expanding my Loner Skills by developing some kind of cloaking ability.

"I like boys who listen." A smile returned to Rin-san's face as she observed my obedience to her order. Just you wait, slave-driver, I won't be your tool forever. When I grow up, I'll become the King of Loners and escape your iron grip.

"So what do you want, Rin-san? I don't have all day."

"I'm bored, and since Ichika isn't here, the two of us are going out after school today, Hachi-kun." She elaborated, a bit too loud, for my taste, as her words quieted classroom chatter. *sigh* Just what I needed, a million pairs of eyes drilling into me. So what's it going to be today? Cleaning the classroom, the locker room, or does the headmistress have something else prepared? I hope it won't take too long, as Komachi is coming home early today, and I can't call myself a good onii-chan if she arrives before me.

"And I'm not taking no for an answer either, Loner! You hear me!" It appears that I subconsciously tuned out my classmate, as I only heard the last bit of her declaration. So she's after my money this time... And knowing Rin-san, she probably wants crepes again. I don't understand why women like such sweet desserts when they're so expensive and unhealthy. Quickly scanning my bag, I almost cried. My funds have been waning recently, and if I accepted Rin-san's offer, it would be nothing but black coffee for the rest of the month. Is a day without Max even worth living? However, if I declined, not only would Rin-san chastise me, but my classmates would feel even more "jealous," wasting too much of my time.

*gulps* "Yes, Rin-san." I'm so sorry, Wallet-kun, but your sacrifice won't be forgotten! So much for my peaceful lunch. At least high school won't be this bad, right? Right?

[Flashback End]

Yeah, on further thought, I'm not nostalgic for middle school in the slightest. Whether because of Rin, Ichika, Orimoto, or any of my other "friends," something always went wrong, and I was the scapegoat. I'm so sorry, past Hachiman, for putting up with all that abuse, but it wasn't all for naught. We learned a lot from those days and wouldn't be the Monster of Logic without them. Sadly, I never figured out one lesson, speaking up for myself, and Hikigaya Hachiman is still a doormat... I'm such a coward.

Moving away from my tragic middle school days, " I... Ichika, if you're here, then that means... Ouch!" Thankfully right before Rin could reach the logical conclusion of spotting me, Orimura-sensei came in with a head punch assist. Nice.

"Scram brat, homeroom is about to start, and before you say it, it's Orimura-Sensei" It's so comforting when Sensei is on your side of an argument. She just saved me a world of embarrassment from Rin using that cursed nickname.

Man cannot explain its origins, as some hypothesize it is an alien greeting horribly mistranslated. Others reason it to be the remains of a dead language or the shortening of an unfortunate boy's name. Whatever it is, we have still not found a satisfying conclusion to this day.

"Chifuyu...(*glare*). Orimura-sensei, I'm sorry for interrupting you. Anyway, we'll talk later, Ichika, maybe lunch. And you, I may not be able to spot you with those ridiculous skills of yours, but you can't hide from me forever, Hachi-kun!" Once her piece was over, Rin marched away from the classroom, leaving smoldering carnage in her wake.

"Hachi-kun?!" The whole class exclaimed in unison while looking in my direction. Why do they only listen to that part of Rin's speech? She and Ichika have a connection, too, you know~?

"I don't know any Hachi-kun. Maybe Fang just has the wrong person, and you're all jumping to the wrong conclusion." I weakly grumbled while looking towards the window, lightly scratching my cheek. I activated the 1 Loner Skill #49: Avoiding Responsibility, one of the most reliable tools in my arsenal. There's no way anyone is going to believe what Rin just said now...

"..." The room stood still, all eyes currently in my direction.

How could this be?! That skill worked so many times in middle school, so why does it fall flat now?

It appears that high schoolers are worse than I expected, as they actually take me seriously. I'm having an identity crisis: what good is it to call myself a loner when I'm an integral member of this class? If I'm not the loner, who am I? A riajuu? No, anything but that.

Calm down, Hachiman. It's not the end of the world. You have no friends, an asinine personality, and eyes reminiscent of a dead fish. Just because your classmates demonstrated some social tact, it doesn't mean that the King of Loners died. Besides, there are more pressing matters.

One existential crisis aside, I guess it's time to make an announcement; roll out the red carpet and limited edition Pretty Cure china because the former Tragic Trio of Chiba Central Middle School "IS" reunited. Get it, because Infinite...

Infinite Loner

Classes today were uneventful as they were mainly a review of basic IS mechanics after Ichika's "fatal error" from the Class Rep Cup. Apparently, someone didn't know how barrier-disabling attacks work. They obviously cost shield energy, the primary power source for ISs, to bypass all external armor and Absolute Defence, the invisible aura of protection surrounding every machine. In other words, "flashy move that hurts the pilot and target." My attack in the tournament functioned off the same principle; I sacrificed flexibility for power to hit the ojou-san really hard (Why does that sound weird?). A missed shot equates to wasted energy, time, and defense, qualities the Undefeated Champion lacks in spades. If I took any more damage in the last fight, I would have automatically lost my match since the Stealth Gambit requires a certain amount of shield energy to activate, or it completely drains me of power.

Even though he was the centerpiece of the lesson, Ichika was strangely quiet and not asking a hundred questions or clarifications of material. Maybe all those countless hours we spent studying were not a vain effort after all, or his brain had short-circuited from all the lectures. Either option was viable.

Seeing as lunch was right around the corner, and remembering Rin's earlier declaration, I sought to receive an "early release" from the lesson. During a question period, I decided to raise my hand," Hmm. Hikigaya, you have a question about the material?" Orimura-sensei seemed shocked at my gesture. Foolish Sensei, I know the information inside-out; this is all a ruse.

"Seeing as lunch is going to start in five minutes and the only male restroom is in my dorm, can I be excused early, so I can "wash up" before I eat?" Come on, Orimura-sensei, call my bluff, please. I don't want to catch up with Rin in the cafeteria. People might misunderstand our relationship, you know~? Please, nee-san, have mercy on this measly loner.

It seemed that my calls rang on deaf ears as Orimura-sensei saw through me," Not happening, Hikigaya. I think we both know the motive behind this request, and you must now face the music for your earlier actions with Fang. You can't keep hiding behind nee-san, forever." No, I'm ruined! Nee-san, I know you're trying to push me to be more outgoing, but old habits die hard. It's time to formulate Plan B...

"Ding dong!"

Once the class bell rang, I carried out my master plan. Step 1: Distract the Idiot, "Hey, Ichika, is that someone in our class, wearing an outfit similar to that famous electric mouse." I pointed off into the distance at one of our many forgettable classmates. I'm so sorry, forgettable classmates, but you won't get any nicknames if you don't leave an impact. But don't worry, I'll still ignore you even if you do something noteworthy! I treat everyone equally... cold.

"Where, where." Gullible as always. Step 2: Ride Out The Big Wave, which entailed blending the sea of students going to the cafeteria, magnifying Stealth Hikki's effects. These efforts allowed me to walk out of 1-1 without anyone on my trail. Now for step 3: Circumvent the lunchroom, as Rin will be there, and instead make a beeline for my Room, 1025. She just transferred and would have no idea where I stayed, making this move my best possible option. Not even six inches into this phase, my plans were ruined by one simple action...

*taps shoulder* "Where do you think you're going, Hachi-kun. Trying to avoid me, perhaps?" Rin again utilized the secret female skill: Instant Teleportation to get the jump on me. Come on, this isn't fair. How can I call it "Stealth Hikki" if people keep finding me? My 108 Loner Skills aren't a joke, you know~?

Fumbling for an excuse, I nervously answered," No, I was just taking the quiet route to the cafeteria so I could talk to you and Ichika, of course... Yeah, I love friendship." Acting this superficial hurts my soul, but I hope she buys this ploy. I didn't have time to come up with anything else.

*grabs arm* " Great, then let's go together!" Success... why does it feel like I'm in some generic Harem Rom-com? Wait, if I'm being dragged around like a suitcase for comedic effect, does that make me the protagonist? I'm sorry, lowly Harem Protagonists, for hating you. It's incredible how they can laugh during events like this, the heroine dragging them around. Rin's grip hurts. People who enjoy Harem Rom-coms, whether anime, visual novels, or light novels, are weirdos. Wait, I like Harem Rom-coms...

*sigh* I guess you could say, "My Reunion With a "Childhood Friend" is Wrong as I Expected."(It even sounds like a trashy light novel title.)

End me.

Author's Note- Poor Hachiman, you just can't catch a break now can you? Whoever wrote your past, must have been a jerk... Wait, a minute. As much as I love to clown myself I have more to say. For future reference, which style of preview do you prefer, the Chapter 8 approach or something like the last update? I have a vague feeling of what the answer would be, but it wouldn't hurt to ask. Anyways, favorite if you like my writing, follow for future installments, and write reviews to leave suggestions or comments about the story. Thank you for reading Infinite Loner and until next time, I'll catch you on the flipside.

Preview:

"I am the wonderful and magnanimous Cecilia Alcott."

"I'm Shinonono Houki."

"And welcome to the 2nd iteration of the Hikigaya Hachiman Watch Party!"

"So why am I here, Cecilia? You said we were talking about something important, but all we've done is re-..."

"Do not say another word Shinonono-san! He might be listening."

"Wait, do you mean..."

"Yes, and that is the entire issue, Shinonono-san, as from what I have heard, that transfer student has information about Hachiman-san."

"Hachiman-san?"

"You worry too much about the smaller details, Shinonono-san."

"Ok, now I'm interested in what you have to say. Also, please just call me Houki from now on... I don't like my family name all too much."

"Very well, Houki-san, but more importantly, do you think that transfer student will try to steal Hachiman-san away from me- I mean our class? She already lost before, but it appears that she hasn't given up hope."

"She lost him before? Just how close were the two of them?"

"Hachiman-san and the transfer student were once classmates, he took her out on dates, she visited his house, and he even refers to her by her first name. Ah, I wish, he took me out to tea, told me I was beautiful, or even called me Cecilia. Right now, Hachiman-san treats me like the plague... Maybe I should dispose of this "Rin-san," before it's too late."

"D-dates, how scandalous! Such infidelity cannot go unpunished. It's been a while since we've trained together, maybe I should give Hachiman a bit of a refresher course? Even Ichika could join, and I could crush both of them... Heh, heh, heh..."

New footsteps stop right before the duo, startling Cecilia, "Orimura-sensei!"

"What are you doing here, I thought you were busy with Hachiman and his Class Rep position."

"I sent Hikigaya off to tie some loose ends, so he should be returning soon, and if that's concerning, pick up the pace. Less flailing, more wailing, and get this thing over with!"

Both appeared visibly shaken but resolve themselves, exclaiming, "Next time on Infinite Loner, Chapter 11: As Expected, Her Feelings Were Lost In Translation."

"You think you've won Fang-san, but the battle isn't over yet. I am not losing my punching bag- I mean- good friend without a fight! If it happened before, Hachiman will reject you again, and this time turn to me for comfort, as our bond is stronger than any steel. And if he doesn't... I may be unable to guarantee his safety."

"This restaurant woman cannot take Hachiman-san, as it would upset the morality of IS Academy. The recluse cannot be left to his own devices, as who knows what he could be capable of. As a National Representative, I must exercise my noblesse oblige, and watch over him... Forever, and ever, teehee~."

"First those idiots, and now Alcott and Shinonono. *sigh* Why are you such a lightning rod for weird behavior, Hikigaya?"

"Achoo! That's the third time I've sneezed in the past 10 minutes. Wait, doesn't that mean someone likes me? Is this the start of my Romantic Comedy that is probably wrong? Please Rom-com Gods, I won't complain about you anymore if my love interest is rich. I don't care about her personality, she could be an Ice Queen for all I care."

"Achoo! Why does it feel as if someone is speaking ill of me? It must be the changing weather. Now, where was I, that mysterious boy, Hikigaya Hachiman... His uncouth attitude is a nuisance that must be corrected, immediately. Left alone, Hikigaya-kun could be a threat to the Academy and society at large. I believe he is a member of class 1-1. Now the question is, how should I make contact?"

"Achoo! Doesn't a fourth sneeze precede personal misfortune..? I hate the Rom-com Gods."

Chapter End