Chapter 13 (Version 2): Surprises Lurked Around Every Corner

Foreword: Well look at that, we made it to "lucky number" 13 after all this time. Oh didn't see you there, I am future Mayflower Productions, author of Infinite Loner, here introducing an updated installment of this story. After many, many, months I have returned to refresh what I consider the weakest part of this story. Significant changes were made, and hopefully, you will appreciate them, as they make things slightly less mean-spirited than before. It took many sleepless nights, but I present before you the coalescence of my efforts, an old cat that knows new tricks. What does that imply? Read on to find out. Against all odds, this chapter is actually longer than the last... by a significant margin... But that's not necessarily important, unlike... Infinite Loner Chapter 13 (Version 2): Surprises Lurked Around Every Corner.

Disclaimer: I do not own Oregairu, Infinite Stratos, or any other intellectual properties that may appear in this story. Please don't sue me.

Infinite Loner- line break, [The Loner]- POV indicator (Hikigaya Hachiman) "You two are..."- Dialogue

[The Loner]

"I hate Mondays." I dejectedly groaned after crawling into class and collapsing onto my desk. What brought on such a sentiment? It was the convergence of multiple factors. I had spent the last few days confined in the infirmary after the Inter-Class Tournament. My "heroics" had left me bedridden, unable to enjoy my weekend... I guess it's true that nice guys always finish last.

Surprisingly, those days were more enjoyable than I had expected. Aside from the occasional nurse, I was left alone, a welcome change from the past month. That routine made my discharge yesterday hard to accept, as it spelled the end of an era. When would it return? Who knows, probably whenever next I acted like a hot-blooded idiot.

As for the other stressor, it was more complicated and less obvious to point out. How do I explain it?...

In a way, I couldn't help but worry about the numerous expectations building right before my eyes. Expectations, what could that entail?

A quick trip to Google-sensei defines expectations as "the belief that something will happen or be the case in the future" or, in other words looming disappointments.

For example, a young boy, uh, let's call him H-kun for now, consumes media that glorifies middle school as a place where everyone can find companions that understand them. H-kun grew up awkward from the neglect by his parents for no reason of his own. They worked long, miserable shifts and couldn't spend much time at home, and when they did, they fawned over his outgoing little sister. This dismissive treatment continued outside the home as people saw his meekness as unsightly in the hyperactive, "everyone can lead" Infinite Stratos world.

After the first few weeks, the boys gave up inviting him to social gatherings in elementary school and actively isolated him. Girls treated H-kun as the plague and created Hikigerms as an excuse to avoid him. School was miserable for the child, but he didn't give up his hopelessly optimistic expectations for the looming education refresh. The boy felt so excited that he bought an expensive book, How to Talk to People, and spent countless hours practicing different greetings in the mirror. ("It's such a coincidence running into each other now as I never got to introduce myself earlier. I am the humble Hikiga...")

Before you misunderstand, I'm talking about H-kun, not anyone else. Any relation to real-life figures is purely coincidental. Where was I?... Unbeknownst to H-kun, those upcoming three years turned out to be quite the trainwreck from day one with his failed introduction ("So, I'm Hiki-... Ouch..."). His social skills regressed instead of developed, and he changed from a hesitant background character to a cynical loner. The boy's youthful demeanor slowly rotted away by his peers' efforts, leaving an unfeeling "Loner King" in its place.

H-kun ended up friendless and stood alone as the hated villain, despised by the masses, relegated to the butt of every joke. His middle school experience was wrong.

What was the moral of that cautionary tale? It highlighted that the future tends to let down the glamorous aspirations of the past. Holding overly hopeful outlooks only made the sting of disappointment ever more bitter. I saw it best to simply live in the present and roll with the punches. There may be good days and others poor, but like a pendulum, they will average out. Besides, if every realization or personal interaction feels novel, nothing is.

Speaking of expectations, they have an unhealthy connection with my Academy life. Two months in, I labored through grueling training regiments for two fights with my forced compliance and consequently held the position of Class Representative.

Wait, Hachiman, you may say, how does that have anything to do with expectations?

My peers had misinterpreted my efforts and now treated me like some sort of twisted celebrity. Yes, I've become the very thing I swore I wouldn't. This school loves to trample over my ethics... Maybe applying was not the best idea.

Whenever I answered a question, as weird as it sounds, I actually participate in class now after some gentle persuasion (read: Orimura-sensei threatening to leak my baby pictures to the Newspaper Club), and it was headline news, MAX Coffee somehow became on as the trendy drink of choice, and occasionally students just waltz into 1025 like it's their house. It's horrible and made my introverted heart bleed, but that's just the no-name 1st Years... The Big 3 are in a league of their own.

Now for some introductions, or really, reintroductions. There was: Shinonono Houki (codename: brutish gorilla), who regularly interfered with my daily life. From acting as an ineffective instructor to an overzealous classmate, she never found ways to not bother me.

Besides her was Cecilia Alcott (codename: ojou-san), the pompous British National Representative who ruined my early days. She did not respect, no, that would be an understatement, barely recognized men as members of the human race. Thanks to her superiority complex, I "earned" my title as Class Rep and its related responsibilities. Alongside Shinonono, Alcott found it necessary to insert herself in my matters, which was bothersome. This isn't some kid's show; I don't need a random entourage shadowing me everywhere I go.

Finally, the group's most recent member, Fang Rin (codename: slave-driver). She was also a National Representative and had a massive ego, unlike her... I'll save myself the risk of finishing that line. You could never be too sure who was listening. Especially once you factor in my secret 109th Loner Skill, Accidentally Talking Aloud aka, Dense Hikki.

Regardless, the two of us had an odd relationship, tied together by one person. Without them, we probably would have never met... What a beautiful timeline that would be. Instead of exoskeletons, Tabane should have worked on dimension-hopping technology... Perhaps call it the Radio Dishwasher (working title)?...

"Did you say something, Hachi-kun?" Surprise, surprise, think about her, and she spontaneously appears. I've given up understanding how she could read my mind so effortlessly. Chalk it up to another instance of the female esper.

"Rin, can I ask you a question?" I lurched out of my slump and turned to my childhood friend. Every time I utter the phrase, a part of my soul dies. What part of our relationship could be considered friendship? We only knew each other for a year before she left... Yet it qualified due to semantics.

"What is it~?" She hums while maintaining her pleasant visage. Stop being positive, for I may accidentally confess to you and get immediately rejected. My fragile heart can only take so much abuse, you know~?

"Can you leave me alone?" I asked, futilely hoping she would oblige.

"Why would I do that?" She answered without a drop of hesitation.

"Because I asked... politely?"

"You already know that my Hachi-kun position is non-negotiable. Who knows what you would get up to if left alone?"

"Tch, at least I tried," sighing, I again slumped down, returning to my thoughts.

Hmm, how could I make this situation less horrible? I know; use the bargaining chip sitting right in front of me. "So Rin, what do you think of Ichika; isn't he quite the reliable guy?" I shook off my lethargy to ask that question. My emotional intelligence (EQ) isn't the best, but this move should be somewhat effective. From what I remember, Rin always had complicated feelings for one person. Even in my naive state, I figured that much out. She always had this starstruck look when she talked about him and had an extra pep in her step when he was around. This tidbit partially explained why I always kept my distance from her when the pieces were always there. Fang Rin (objectively speaking) was a beautiful girl who willingly associated with me in middle school, who was a loser at the time; that fact had played at my tender heartstrings. After all, look what happened not much later, I confessed to Orimoto, who had an even weaker connection to me.

The point of that extended digression was to explain that mentioning Ichika should distract Rin, at least temporarily. This should give me enough time to clear my head and prepare for the upcoming day.

"H-huh?" She stammered, clearly taken aback by my question.

"What are you talking about, Hachiman? Rin and I are only childhood friends, just like you and me, or Houki, for that matter. There's nothing more between us." And the naive fool soon took the bat. Success!

"I mean nothing to him, he says. A childhood friend, he says..." Like clockwork, Rin's face darkened after processing my seatmate's words. It must be tough not being acknowledged by your love interest, huh?

Deeming my work done, I leaned back in my seat, preparing to watch the fireworks go off. My former classmates seemed to be quickly reaching a flashpoint as Rin had partially deployed Shenlong's fist while Ichika was nervously laughing... I'm sorry, my roommate, but your sacrifice is for a good cause, preserving my solitude! I'll never forget this day for as long as I live!... Or whenever something interesting happens, whichever comes first.

"So Hikkichi, if Orimu and Rin-chan are an item where does that leave you? Is there someone you're interested in?" And with that stray thought from Casual-san, defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory... Tch, I always underestimated her and her lazy demeanor when she was just as dangerous as her peers. And, "Hikkichi" who is that?... I swear these nicknames are becoming progressively stranger over time.

"Yes, Hachi-kun would you care to answer?" Rin quickly changed targets and directed her gaze at me, her expression still masked. Why was she so angry? What was so interesting about my love life? It doesn't exist.

*stare~*

*stare~~* She wasn't alone as the ojou-san, gorilla, among others seemed to be somewhat interested in my response. Why did this happen? I changed the topic so people would focus less on me, not more.

"I think everyone has this backward, Ichika is the one you should interrogate. I hear he has tons of suitors lined up outside of IS Academy." I claimed, hoping to redirect the conversation. Did I throw my roommate under the bus again? Yes. Do I regret doing so? No, absolutely not.

"Stop spreading rumors about me being a playboy, Hachiman. I-it's not true!" The said roommate, pointedly replied, keen on clearing any misunderstandings.

"Hmm, then how do you explain, Ran-chan or all those girls from middle school," I explained with a knowing look. He wouldn't fall for this routine a second time, right? No one could be that dense...

"She's just another childhood friend and the others were just classmates..." I stand corrected, Orimuka Ichika, is as hopeless as they come. "Wait, why do you care so much?... Is this another one of your ploys? If so I'll tell Mio-sempai you're treating a woman poorly." Surprisingly he had wisened up and turned the engagement on its head, leaving me in the hot seat. I guess this outcome was inevitable. As the world's two male pilots, we're together all the time. At this point, we can occasionally read each others minds. I used to think that Ichika was a nice guy or a riajuu, but moments like these remind me of his true nature. We both don't want the attention of our frenzied classmates, so we keep playing Hot Potato (read: Russian roulette) with it using all available means. Blackmail is just another tool in the bleak reality of IS Academy; he has his society, and I have Senpai as checks against our actions.

It's almost refreshing how frank our relationship is, and I'm glad that I don't share a room with one of the crazy students here...

"Hachiman." Like the gorilla.

"Hikigaya-kun." Or the ojou-san.

"Hachi-kun." Or the slave-driver.

"Huh, did the fish-boy say something he shouldn't have?" And especially my upperclassmen clubmate, as that may lead to me seriously jumping out of a window... Why is the room so breezy? it's almost June. I must be imagining things, as it almost felt like Senpai was looming over me, ready to dispose of my body... Yeah, it's just my imagination.

Combined with my noble (read: pathetic) efforts against the violet IS and membership in the Detective Club, my name slowly grows prestigious in IS Academy. I've even heard talk of Hikigaya Hachiman within the closed Student Council, which worries me greatly...

But you know what, in all respects, pretty solid start to my high school career. I'm actually "popular" and "sociable" here. Sure not everything meets my expectations, and I have big shoes to fill, but I'll accept the little victories. At least I'm not the blubbering mess that I was back in middle school, and with that win, nothing could possibly ruin my mood until Yamada-sensei had to open her mouth.

"Everyone, please pay attention, as today we have an announcement to make." Hmm, what could this be? Please, not a transfer student, since that makes too much sense. There are just so many targets for observation in 1-1: the younger sister of Shinonomo Tabane, IS's eccentric inventor, the elite British National Representative Candidate, among others. Beyond those options, there could be a mysterious third party studying IS Academy's strongest First Year, the original male pilot, the Infinite Loner.

I know you're about to interject, "Isn't that courtesy of *redacted,* so why are you using it?" The short answer is that it grew on me and fits nicely next to my other titles.

Sure, it implies me being an IS genius, which I am most assuredly not since I had to knock myself out to barely win a fight... After training to death for an entire week and losing countless practice duels.

It's not easy being me, you know~? I subject myself to hours of back-breaking studying every night to maintain my high scores. I'm not gifted in the slightest. If I was, I could find a loophole dismissing me from this school; I can't stand the student body here.

In any case, Orimura-sensei has a bad habit of outsourcing work to my plate, so I hope it's not the overused cliche. I wanted to lie low until summer break and escape this school. I can almost hear the sound of my air-conditioned room calling for me. Don't worry, Vita-chan; Hachiman will attend to you soon.

"Listen up, brats, we have two new students joining us..." No, this can't be. That was only supposed to be hypothetical on my part. I'm not completely surprised that organizations realized that my IS Academy First-Year Class contains some big targets. But that doesn't quell my disappointment. Just leave my high school alone, you corporate special interests!

Whoever these new classmates could be doesn't matter to me. After all, I'm speedrunning the lonely ending of a romantic comedy. I'll activate my innate self-defense mechanism of pretending I don't exist, also known as Stealth Hikki. Concealing my presence by hiding under my desk, I could only hear the transfers' footsteps, and then they stilled... Quiet, too quiet.

*cannon noises* Wait, do I hear an IS weapon firing up, and why does it feel a little toasty? Is this an IS campfire or something?

Upon opening my eyes, I found one of the transfers pointing her railgun at me. "Time to die, Hikigaya!" Woah, already jumping to conclusions, are we; how rude. You could at least finish the first date. Taking a quick glance at my sudden adversary or disillusioned lover (depending on if you were a deluded chuuni), I noticed her slight frame. Despite making such a brash claim, she almost reminded me of a doll, fragile and polished with her porcelain skin and well-kept platinum hair. In another world, her striking beauty would have left me speechless and a blushing mess... Now that I think about it, IS Academy has an unusually high concentration of attractive people. Some might imply that the school was the bishoujo(Translator's Note: beautiful girl) capital of the world, excluding Ichika and my rugged good looks... Heh.

Why am I your target? It's not like I'm insulting your tacky-looking eyepatch and overt military alterations to your uniform... Openly insulting, that is. I'm actually very snarky in my thoughts, you know~?

"Hachiman, how many ladders did you walk under today?" My roommate tried lightening the mood with a joke. Maybe he'll save me with one of his latent Protagonist powers. After all, he seemed the more likely to fit the bill between the two of us: famous sister, influential relationship with important people (read: Tabane), less than stellar emotional awareness. What more do you need?

"Grr," the silver-haired glared at his comment while continuing to charge her weapon... Hence, his attempt at humor failed miserably. There goes my hope for a diplomatic ending.

"Hachi-kun!" Rin interjected from the sidelines, having stood near the room's exit. Why was she still here, isn't her classroom next door? This must be her attempt at emotional manipulation, just like before. It's not like she seriously cares about me; we were only familiar strangers, nothing more... And yet again, the topic returns to middle school, the worst three years of my life. It's like those days never ended.

"Whoosh!" Interrupting my nihilistic monologue was a gust of wind and the appearance of a shield before me. This must be a mirage of sorts, one concocted by my brain to numb the pain of reality. It was a kind gesture but wasted on someone like me who preferred the bitter truth to a pleasant lie. I've accepted too many sweet nothings for one lifetime.

"I won't let you hurt Hikigaya Hachiman for nebulous reasons, Laura Bodewig," this hallucination even came equipped with voice acting and 3d models, huh? They were even blonde too. Am I actually a remarkable person? If that was true, then why was I always ridiculed here? Don't believe me? I have just the proof prepared for a situation like this, my top secret list...

People I Hate:

Shinonono Houki: She treated me as a punching bag when I first met her and later pretended to be my friend. Like, what's up with that? We're not friends. In other words, two-faced hypocrite.

Cecilia Alcott: Antagonized me on the first day of school, wouldn't stop lording over her inherent superiority over me, and forced me to work, an instant demerit. Now acts like my older sister, always conveniently popping out of random corners, and it's creepy. In other words, stalker.

Fang Rin(Huang Lingyin): Forced me into being her hound in middle school, played at my heartstrings during our final interaction, and now is a parasite that refuses to leave me alone. In other words, clingy.

Orimura Chifuyu: She blackmailed me into being an IS Academy student, subjected a minor to grueling work over an entire summer, threatened to leak baby photos if I didn't participate in class, and banned me from drinking MAX, claiming, "It's bad for my health." In other words, dictator.

Isurugi Mio: Well, I don't call her the fallen angel for no reason. She broke into my dorm, beat me up with a baseball bat after I begged for forgiveness, scowls at me whenever I'm late for Detective Club, and harasses me whenever she's bored. In other words, sadist.

Yukinoshita Yukino- The Ice Queen...

Turn the page for further details...

If those firsthand accounts don't qualify as sufficient evidence, I don't know what does. Looking at the list closely, I noticed how it was running out of room, having surpassed five pages. Maybe I should go back to Chiba to get some more paper?

In other news, Orimura-sensei's patience was wearing thin, presumably upset with the transfer student's behavior. Her face twitched, and her eyes narrowed, all signs of an impending meltdown. Uh oh. I don't like where this situation is going.

"Slam!" She threw her hand on the teacher's podium. "Alright, you brats, settle down! This is a school, not some playground!" And then roared at the feuding transfer students, immediately calming them down.

"Very well."

"Hmph." The one in front of me disengaged their shield while the white-haired girl who threatened me retracted her railgun, both weapons disappearing into thin air... So they were IS weapons, huh? That could only mean one thing... More headaches.

"How troublesome..." I muttered, pulling out a pencil from my desk. I had the strangest feeling that my list would grow by a few more entries today.

"Great, so you two are capable of following orders... At least you're better than those two... Oi, Hikigaya, put away your dream journal; class is in session! And Fang, scram already!" Recognizing the transfers' cooperation, Sensei sighed before changing targets... Rin makes sense, but why am I also her new target? This treatment is resoundingly unwarranted. I'm only reviewing "my notes," nothing suspicious... Besides, this isn't just any dream journal, but my DIY Death Note; there's a huge difference. Your harsh words could lead to some unfortunate accident, you know~?

"Fine," the Chinese Representative grumbled, finally leaving the classroom. Great, one problem down, only two more to go!

"Orimura-sensei, we're running out of time. Homeroom ends soon," Yamada-sensei chimed in.

"Oh, my apologies," Orimura-sensei, or better yet, nee-san, coughed, some light color dusting her face. So she's capable of other emotions than anger, boredom, or a combination of the two... Sometimes I forget that she's only a few years older than me. I guess that's just the difference between teenagers and adults at play, "Ok, it's time to get this show on the road. You, Bodewig, introduce yourself... properly this time," the stoic teacher gestured to the silver-haired student.

"Of course, Instructor! I am Laura Bodewig, the elite German National Representative and leader of the Schwarze Hase brigade. I hope that all you undesirables will stay out of my way. Especially you, Hikigaya!... That is all." She finished with a bored expression after singling me out. Why do you have a beef with me, Bodewig-san? I have committed no wrongdoings against you (yet)...

But "Instructor," huh? That is significantly more formal than the "teacher" most people refer to nee-san as. Is there a prior connection between the two? The transfer student was also very submissive to nee-san, their interaction resembling that of a drill sergeant and cadet... Maybe I should talk to Ichika about his sister's past whereabouts before IS Academy.

"German, huh? No wonder she was so cranky, probably still hung up over losing both World Wars... Actually, I know why you're angry," So and so trampled over my pride. Blah, blah, blah. I'll never recognize this individual as a person." *yawn* I've heard your story a thousand times before." I ruined whatever mysterious aura I had by accidentally voicing my thoughts aloud. It was another instance of Murphy's Law raining on my parade.

"Did you not hear me, Bodewig? This is a civilian, not military, setting, so act accordingly..." Orimura-sensei glowered while reigning in her strength to flick the transfer's forehead... Ooh, that must hurt. Thankfully she didn't bring up my embarrassing statement just now. I never thought I was capable of such arrogance.

"My mistake, Instructor! I will aim to correct my behavior at once... Except for the likes of those two..." She took the hit with stride looking no worse for wear; if anything seemed almost too enthusiastic being chastised. And then transfer's, this Laura Bodewig of sorts, beaming expression morphed into an icy glare faster than I could say Max Coffee. I'm not the type to jump to conclusions, but could she be a masochist or even an Orimura Chifuyu fangirl? It could explain the sub-zero look she gave me... and my poor thought-to-speech capabilities.

"Students these days... Alright, it's your turn now, Dunois. Don't continue to make a fool of yourself." The cranky teacher cued in the other student as Laura Bodewig retreated to her new seat and radiated an aura of hostility... It looks like someone isn't keen on making friends.

"Sorry, Orimura-sensei... Hello everyone, I am Charles Dunois of France, representing the Dunois Corporation and the world's third male IS Pilot. I hope we can all have a productive school year together." The transfer student concluded... There's something off about them, or more precisely, phony. Everything they did looked choreographed: the small bow, bright smile, and polite tone. I don't like this, not one bit, so I'm definitely avoiding this "Charles Dunois" (if that's even their real name) at all costs. Their presence only raised more questions than answers. Why does the third male pilot decide to show himself now of all times, without much fanfare? There were whole documentaries aired when Ichika debuted, and I had a small insert in the local paper too, yet Dunois had nothing. What is he hiding behind that disarming smile, a secret, corporate intrigue, blackmail? Find out next time on Infinite Loner!... Weird, why did I say that?...

It doesn't hurt that looking at him makes me feel slightly uncomfortable. He reminds me of Orimoto, the sort of nice girl who strings people along into making misunderstandings. Deep magenta eyes, long golden-blonde hair held back by a ribbon, a cheery mood that could overcome any melancholy... This is bad, very bad! I might repeat old mistakes and make another confession. I only have eyes for one, and that's MAX Coffee-tan!

Regardless of my inane delusions, Ichika and I resided in 1025, limiting our potential interactions with Charles Dunois to only the school day. There was a healthy distance between us and his mess of a backstory. Why did I include my roommate in that analysis? As I said earlier, we had a close (yet annoying) bond, meaning that if he was roped into an annoying situation, I would be close to follow, and vice versa. It wasn't enough to look out for myself anymore... unfortunately.

At least look on the bright side, Hachiman; this new student takes away some of that attention you hated. You know what, Hachiman, you're right; today might not be such a bad day after all... Aside from the sudden appearance of the world's "third male pilot," who happened to represent the Dunois Corporation, a notable producer of Infinite Stratos units, specifically the popular Rafael Revive units. Why would someone so important only transfer in now, multiple months into the school year? And then there was Laura Bodewig, another National Representative with a personal IS who had a bone to pick with me. That makes her the second in our class after the ojou... I mean Cecilia Alcott. See, I still remember her full name, if only barely at this point... My thoughts are running in circles today.

Bodewig's case was easier to explain, her government deeming intervention necessary to closely research the standouts of class 1-1. This includes Ichika, the ojou-san, gorilla, slave-driver, and... I guess, myself if you were very generous. But I won't delude myself too much by taking that last thought seriously... My performances so far in the Academy have been flukes, rare abnormalities, and nothing more.

"Hachiman," my seatmate whispered, breaking my train of thought, "It looks like our lives are about to make another change."

"I wouldn't call your assumption completely off-base this time. I think these transfer students are anything but normal. But if we play it safe, everything should be fine... compared to the last few months." I reassured, as much to myself as Ichika.

Hold on, Orimura-sensei, why are you smirking at me? The last time this happened, I was forced to talk with Rin. This is not a good sign," I have more news maggots, so listen up, seeing as we have another male pilot, Room 1025 is being broken up. Orimura and Dunois in one room and Hikigaya with Bodewig in the other. That's all, so get ready for class, everyone, as homeroom is now over." No, no, no. I won't accept this change. I finally warm up to Ichika as a roommate, and now we are being split apart. My life is over... actually, I should just quit school. I can go put together smartphones in a third-world country. That sounds nice, "And don't even bother complaining or doing anything stupid, Hikigaya, as you cannot leave IS Academy until you graduate." I'm trapped without any escape. My new roommate is a girl, a psychotic one, in fact. Komachi, your brother's days may now be numbered. I may need to call in that favor earlier than expected.

"My high school life is so wrong." I miserably sighed, uncaring of how overdramatic it looked.

Infinite Loner

"Ding, dong! And with that, regular classes are now over but do not head to the dorms, as we have practical training with Class 2 after lunch today. I repeat, go to the locker rooms ASAP after eating, no dilly-dallying." Orimura-sensei instructed once the day ended. I was barely listening, as I had other issues to worry about.

The cruel Rom-com Gods concluded that my life had lacked a little spice lately, so they dumped in an entire bottle of Tobasco. How could they make such an assumption in light of recent events? I just fought for my life a few days ago, you know~? Am I the only person who remembers that mysterious violet IS...

Wait... now that I think about it, there hasn't been much talk centered around the Inter-Class disaster. This might be my bias from spending time isolated, but the rumor mill has been unusually quiet. IS Academy is a school full of teenage girls, yet there's not even a whisper. Somewhat curious about public opinion, I asked a classmate (not Ichika) about what happened a few minutes ago. Their name escapes me at the moment, so let's refer to her as NPC or a non-playable character. According to NPC-san, most students concluded that the violet intruder was an out-of-control drone or experimental unit. I am no scientist, but that explanation doesn't make much sense. The violet machine clearly resembled an Infinite Stratos in design rather than a drone, add in the pilot armor that violates Academy regulations, and the unit could not be experimental. Yet no one seems to question that flawed conclusion. Am I missing something, or is this a groupthink situation?

"Excuse me," I heard a light cough to my right... I'll table this potential brainwash theory for another time. This could be the start of something meaningful...

"Huh?" I lurched from my seat to meet the presence. Who is it this time, the ojou-san, gorilla, slave-driver, or one of my clubmates? They always seem to have some use for my time... It didn't matter how often I told them I was busy; they kept the routine going.

"Say, Hikigaya-san, can we have a little talk during lunch," and, to my surprise, it was none of the above. The French transfer student, Charles Dunois, apparently wanted to talk with me. I should be happy right now; it was rare that a person singled me out for a discussion. The last time something similar happened was in middle school... I'll save myself the repressed trauma and stop there.

"Why me? I'm not exactly a social butterfly, you know~?"

"Oh, please do not undervalue yourself, Hikigaya-san; you are as interesting as they come." He replied with a warm smile.

"I s-see," and I stuttered out a response, unable to maintain my composure. Dunois is dangerous; he pierced through my emotional defenses without trying. My assessment of him as an Orimoto-class threat is fully warranted now.

"So what do you say, Hikigaya-san," Dunois asked, reaching out his hand expectantly.

Hah, do you really think I'm that easy to please? I'll have you know that my standards are as high as they come. In fact, they are probably the reason why my dreams of house husbandry will never come true (source: Komachi). In any case, that basically makes me an unmovable object, impervious to any form of coercion.

Infinite Loner

"So restaurant girl, homeroom must have been so riveting today... In class 1-2 next door."

"You pompous ojou-san... That's not fighting fair."

"Oh well, it's just a privilege offered to me, the magnanimous and highly-skilled, British National Representative."

"Grr... In any case, if you are feeling so generous today, you wouldn't mind if I sat next to my ordinary and uninteresting childhood friend, right?"

"How enviable... I mean, such a request is nothing to me, restaurant girl, as I can just take his other flank."

*sparking~*

"Ichika, I've noticed that your posture has been weak lately... Don't tell me you've been slacking lately?"

"Uh, it's just that... Yeah, Hachiman has been missing the past few days, and he usually reminded to train... It's not that I stopped caring about exercise once the tournament ended... Hah, hah, hah."

"So Hikigaya-san, tell me about yourself."

"Tch, your persistent persuasion aside, Dunois, why is everyone here?" I complained. Somehow the two of us were joined by the entire psych ward of my associates. Rin and Alcott were fighting, knowing why was beyond my understanding, while Shinonono and Ichika had their usual lively banter (read: it's the Kendo Way or the highway approach). Isolated, nothing stood out about their interactions, but together they combined into a typhoon of noise that bothered me to no end. Can they save their enthusiastic conversations for another time? I'm trying to enjoy my lunch...

"Hey, what do you have there, Hachi-kun?" Rin asked, breaking her staring match with the ojou-san. She peered over my shoulder to look at the packaged good in my hands... Close, too close!

"This is just a sandwich. There's nothing special about it. I got it yesterday in preparation for an ideal scenario." I moved myself away from her to create some breathing room.

"And what would that imply?" And she immediately closed the deficit.

"I had a quiet lunch...alone."

"Hmm, I see," she nodded in fake understanding before doing the unexpected, partial deployment... On second thought, this is the slave-driver we're talking about; intimidation would not be beneath her (see: my traumatic past).

"So, can you disengage Shenlong, Rin? I don't like how you're pointing it at my sandwich," her now bulky fist menacingly loomed behind me.

"Think fast, Hachi-kun! There's a riajuu girl behind you." She suddenly exclaimed.

"What, where?" I dropped everything, and searched frantically. I was not going to be exploited again... At least willingly.

"Boom!" While I wasn't paying attention, Rin fired a small blast which incinerated my meal.

"Why did you do that? The sandwich was innocent, you slave-driver... Innocent!" I lamented the loss of my packaged foodstuff... You were taken far before its time... I'll never forget about your sacrifice.

"You know how unhealthy those things are, especially with your current dilemma..." She gave a sidelong glance at my eyes.

"Oi! We've gone over this already. These are genetic, okay? My having dead eyes are not the result of a simple dietary decision. I've been like this for as long as I can remember." I barked, displeased with her irrational decisions... Great, she ruined my already floundering mood. I was even looking forward to lunch, an opportunity to recuperate after spending so much time cooped up in a hospital room.

"You two seem very close, Huang-san, Hikigaya-san," Dunois commented at our lively (read: eternally vexing) banter.

"It's fine, Dunois, you can just call me "Rin" like everyone else... aside from a few exceptions," she glanced at the ojou-san and then me." I don't mind, and we'll be seeing a lot of each other now." my hard-headed associate explained, not too keen on the transfer's politeness... Sometimes you forget about these minor details, "Fang Rin" was only a localization of her real name, "Huang Lingyin."... The more you know... or, I guess, remember in this case.

"If you insist, I'll happily accept your offer, Rin-san. You can refer to me as Charles as well." The French student replied, a small smile blooming on their pretty face... Why does it remind me of a nice girl, though? Life always seems to cycle back to this topic.

"So Hachiman, Chifuyu-nee's announcement sure was shocking," Ichika interrupted, breaking my current train of thought.

"Did she warn you beforehand or something while I was recovering?" I asked, hoping to fish for some information from my former roommate.

"What do you mean an announcement? Did I miss something this morning?" The slave-driver exclaimed, apparently not clued into the day's earlier events.

"Tsk, tsk, restaurant girl, it must be a shame to amble in the darkness, unaware of your surroundings." The ojou-san bragged for some reason. I do not understand her superiority complex or her rivalry with the other National Representative. What are they fighting for? Pride, prestige, Ichika? If it were the last prize, I would gladly support their efforts, as the more people chasing after him, the better.

"So, Ichika, would you kindly cue me into what happened?" She asked with her patented "manipulation face"... Oh, this brings back memories. Ones I would like forgotten, but memories nonetheless.

The naive pilot then mentioned nee-san's cruel order of dismantling 1025 upon the new students' arrival.

"You're telling me because of that, Hikigaya Hachiman, of all people, is rooming with a girl now?" And to no one's shock, she was skeptical.

"I was stunned too, but someone had to it. Apparently, there wasn't enough space for one person to have a separate room, so they decided to split up ours."

"And why was that exactly?"

"I'm not so sure about the specifics, but Yamada-sensei said something about helping Charles acclimate quickly by being with another male pilot."

"Where does that leave him then," she pointed at me.

"Do not take my words too seriously, but Orimura-sensei had muttered that Hachiman was less of a "security threat" than Ichika. The higher-ups must trust him more to not cause a scandal, and so placed him with Bodewig." The gorilla further explained, filling in the gaps her classmate had made.

"Ok, with all that in mind, I have one more question. How do you feel about this, Hachi-kun? You are the one most affected by this decision, after all," having found herself sufficiently informed, the slave-driver turned to me, throwing the metaphorical ball in my court. What were my thoughts about the arrangement?

How could a school funded by multiple world governments conveniently have full occupancy? Ok, that question could be easily answered, but it only raises more flags. If IS Academy wanted to create space for Dunois and Bodewig, they could have separated another room or expanded 1025 for three occupants... Long story short, none of this makes sense, and now I'm forced to live with a child soldier; for crying out loud! Now I need to wear the Shades whenever I'm in my room to avoid being called a pervert, find a new best place, pack up my belongings, hide the Precure blue rays... Uhh, just thinking about it gives me a headache.

"I am not looking forward to it... Especially the loss of my home away from home," I sighed, disillusioned with upcoming events.

Infinite Loner

Uh, eating with others is such a chore, even with family, since you know the whole "corporate slavery" situation. Mother and Father were always too exhausted most days to even hold a coherent conversation at the table, let alone provide me with any relevant advice. All I remembered from them was, "Treat women..." or "don't be a..." which cut off right before the meaningful bit. It's not like I can imitate my sister's mannerisms either, for obvious reasons ("Oops, I'm such an airhead, Teehee~."), leaving me blindsided by this moment.

"..." I narrowed my gaze while scanning my associates. Something was bound to go wrong with so many flashpoints close together.

"So Hikigaya-san, can I call you Hachiman like Ichika does?" Dunois asked with an encouraging look, thinking his request would be accepted.

"No," and was immediately denied, but not by yours truly. If that were me, I would have at least put in some faux effort before refusing. You know, play out the scene for maximum effect... A little bit of Orimoto may have rubbed off on me. Hopefully, I won't start saying, "That's hilarious," often and being superficial.

"No?"

"Yes, no. I don't enjoy the idea of you jumping to the first-name basis so soon... It feels off somehow," my supposed mouthpiece explained.

"In that case, Hikigaya-san, could you please tell me about yourself? Your hobbies, likes, stories about meeting eccentric individuals... that may be older siblings."

"Well, for starters, this idiot loves his PSP-san..."

"Oi, it's Vita-chan now. I upgraded!"

"Whatever... There's also his creepy light novels and his beloved Komachi."

"They're not creepy!"

"Then explain those questionable cover illustrations?"

"... Art is subjective."

"Did you say something, Ecchigaya-kun?"

"..."

"You wouldn't be implying that this "Komachi" is a character from one of his games... I think they are called visual novels?"

"Hah, as if, but... He is probably as enthusiastic as the most passionate Kotori supporters."

"When did you become the official Hiki-phone? Don't tell me we're playing Hiki-cooties-tag with barriers again."

"What are these "Hiki" portmanteaus he is referring to?"

"Don't worry, Dunois, you're better off not knowing what goes on in his rotten mind."

"I am standing right here, you know~?"

"And who was blackmailed by a group of teenage girls?"

"..." I stood silent, not having a witty comeback to her remark. The Detective Club had outplayed me; that fact was undeniable. Their methods were less than fair, but begrudgingly, they had surrounded me with no room for escape. It didn't hurt that they had a fallen angel among their ranks.

"What a wonderful day it is for a picnic," I heard a cheery voice from behind me. They sounded artificial, disingenuous, sickly sweet, whatever you wanted to call it, but also eerily familiar. There was only one person I knew who wore such a mask... And it had to be right after my unsubtle barb too.

"Oh, Mio-senpai, what a pleasant surprise," the Idiot explained, welcoming them over.

"Wait, why are you here?" I asked, stunned by her surprise appearance. She usually spent her lunch periods with classmates in the cafeteria. How did I know?... I may have spent some time figuring out her schedule in preparation for the failed Operation Loner Lunch... It's not stalking, I swear!

"Silly Hikigaya-kun... It's because I care about you," she explained with her eerily warm smile... which was anything but inviting.

"I need to leave..."

"Where are you going? Your dependable Senpai has just arrived... This wouldn't be running, fish-boy?" Her affable persona receded with the latter statement, the murky abyss underneath revealing itself.

"No..." I sighed, resigning myself to accepting her presence in our colorful group. Any arguments would fall on deaf ears with her, and I knew better than to fight losing battles.

"Excellent," she replied, sitting suspiciously close to me. Great, now I was surrounded on three sides. Could this day get any worse?... Wait, I take that statement back as knowing my luck, it will likely come true.

Infinite Loner

Be careful what you wish for.

It was such a simple expression; fate should not be tempted. The most outrageous claims at the moment could be realized mere seconds later. I used to decry such sayings as naive, never taking them seriously. Surprised? That position sounds awfully cynical for a younger Hachiman... Keep in mind that I still had some faith in the youth hierarchy, hoping all my previous failures would lead to success... Believing in third and fourth chances, how the times have changed.

"Hmm, I forgot all about what to eat today. What am I going to do?" Ichika decided that now was the perfect time to interrupt and idly relay his thoughts.

Of course, you didn't prepare anything, as you're Harem Protagonist Extraordinaire, someone probably made you lunch. And judging from the gorilla's nervous shuffling of a small box, she did, "If you don't mind, Ichika, I may have prepared something for you..." Wow, she's using her inside voice; this has to be good.

"Thanks, Houki. I'd be glad to take up your offer but are you sure? What are you going to have instead?" Come on, Ichika, have you not heard of the convention where the love interest eats all the failed batches? The gorilla probably doesn't want to even look at her lunch, let alone have it.

"Don't worry about it... I ate all the practice runs." See, I'm right. All those hours reading trashy light novels, playing trashy visual novels, and watching trashy anime came in handy... For once...

"Say, ahh." And then Houki feeds Ichika one piece of chicken... Hold on, how could they be so daring? This is a school, an institution for education or emotional trauma, and not debauchery. It also seemed that I wasn't the only one shocked as the ojou-san and slave-driver were speechless, while Dunois laughed, and Senpai... She was not smiling or glowering but neutral, her face betraying no emotion.

"Can you believe this, Cecilia? She's feeding him."

"I recognize that, Rin-san. Such an act is unbecoming for a high school student..."

"..." I continue glancing at Senpai, confused by her present state... It's not that I'm interested in her or anything... This is all out of curiosity... yes, morbid curiosity. A person mentally crashing is not a common occurrence, after all... There were no other ulterior motives behind my gesture, like figuring out a potential weakness or anything. I would never stoop so low... Public displays of intimacy, huh? Maybe someone has fewer friends than I realized...

"... What are you doing, fish-boy?" In my reverie, Senpai had regained focus and started glaring at me, somewhat disgusted... How do I explain my staring in a way that won't kill me?... Come on, brain, show me what you're made of.

"Uh... Admiring your fair beauty?" I eked out, immediately regretting my words... Out of all the people to imitate, it had to be the chuuni. She is probably going to misinterpret my statement as flirting and react poorly.

"Oh..." She momentarily paused, unable to relay her thoughts, her expression between anger and... is that embarrassment? I never thought I would see the day my cruel classmate showed her delicate side. The world must be doing me a favor, then... I guess it's better later than never.

"Don't misunderstand, fish-boy! I am not like those other girls."

"How so, oh honorable Mio-sama?"

"... You're pushing your luck today, Hikigaya."

"..." Whatever teasing follow-up I had died in my throat after she spoke, her intimidating aura overwhelming.

"However," my clubmate sighed, "At least you're starting to recognize how lucky you are, Hikigaya-kun," and then continued in a lighter, almost haughty tone, not too dissimilar to someone nearby. She even flicked her hair back like the British pilot often did. Is this violating copyright, can the ojou-san sue?... Regardless, where did the sudden moral grandstanding come from? Did she not notice my sarcasm? Should I correct her?... No, I'll let her have this moment and move on. Besides, there are better topics to monologue about, like...

"Growl~," remembering the untimely demise of my sandwich... I can hardly believe you're gone... I told myself I wouldn't cry, but... T-the tears won't stop falling... My lonely lunch!

"Oh, what do we have here?"

"..."

"Is someone hungry?"

"I wonder whose fault that is?"

"Luckily for you, I had accidentally prepared," Rin flashed me a smug grin, fully aware of her leverage. Despite her numerous flaws: a short temper and overly domineering personality, she was a great chef, easily outclassing my mediocre skills. How do I know?... Well... There may have been occasions when she... duped me into being an errand boy with food.

But that was then, and this is now! I have integrity and will not be lulled into accepting sweet nothings. "Not interested," I huffed, looking away.

"What? Did I hear that right; you declined my offer to feed you? Hello, am I speaking to Hikgaya Hachiman?"

"Such a deceitful ploy may work on the narrow-minded, but not me..." I muttered.

"Are you really going for the prideful route, Hachi-kun?... Even after all we've gone through?" She shed a few crocodile tears, attempting an emotional appeal of sorts.

"Is that the best you could do, slave-driver, reference the Inter-Class Tournament where I did all the work? And if I'm not mistaken, you were complaining about a "bride carry," of all things."

"Lay off, Hachi-kun! We all make mistakes in the heat of battle... And it's not like you were the epitome of maturity if the aftermath is anything to go by..." When did I break character during that ordeal... She couldn't possibly be implying when ("...the childhood friend is about to confess..")... No, that can't be. I definitely remember keeping those choice thoughts to myself.

"In any case, I will not accept your offer," clearing my head, I firmly declined my peer.

"Well, look what we have here, rejected yet again, restaurant girl," sensing an opportunity, the ojou-san inserted herself into the conversation, chastising Rin.

"Oh, and you think you can do better?"

"Perhaps..."

"Likely story..." The two started clashing with each other, invisible sparks crackling between them. When will they grow tired of their routine?... I, for sure, am.

"Not a fan of hyper-competitive streaks... I see."

"What are you muttering about, Charles?"

"I-it's nothing you need to be concerned with, Ichika."

"Hmm... I'm having the strangest sense of deja vu... Have I been in this situation before?"

Sensing an opening, I attempted to leave and salvage what little remained of my lunch break. The first day back at IS Academy was far more eventful than I anticipated. Why couldn't the Rom-com Gods or my "dependable best friend" have warned me beforehand?

Less than a heartbeat later, my ploy failed, "Where do you think you're going, Hikigaya-kun," the ojou-san kept me in place with Blue Tears, her gauntlet holding my nape like a small animal.

"Stop treating me like a reclusive kitten that scurries away at the slightest opening. I'm Hikigaya Hachiman, a man of logic and pragmatism!"

"So if I let go of you, Hikigaya-kun, would you run away?"

"..."

"Answer the question. Would you run away?"

"..."

"Okay, your silence confirms my hypothesis. Now, open the box, and enjoy my artisanal sandwiches." She motioned to the picnic box residing beside her.

"Please, do you think I'm a simple dog able to be bribed with food? Well, the joke's on you, ojou-san, as I have standards." I defiantly argued, looking her straight in the eye.

"So you have no interest in... free food?" She dangles the basket right before my eyes.

"..." I stood by my standards, which explains why I silently opened the basket, reached inside, and pulled out a sandwich.

"Wow, Hachiman, you do stay true to your word." My former retorted, unimpressed. Does he think that a simple tease will hurt me? Hah. The joke is on him; I don't have any shame.

"Shut up, Ichika." I'm just doing whatever's necessary for my survival. After all, one of my policies is "free food, best food, no questions asked.".

"Hmm, you haven't poisoned this, right?" I asked the ojou-san while attentively studying her offering. It looks like an egg sandwich: crust perfectly cut, smells like an egg sandwich, and feels like one, white bread firm at my touch.

"Why would you even accuse me of such a thing?" You have no idea what I put up within the Detective Club, where every meeting is just a game of Operation that I fail spectacularly. How do you even make a holographic chair leg?

"Okay, I'll believe you..." I took a bite of the sandwich and began chewing... "*gag*... What... did... you... do? Why does it taste sour?" I made a huge mistake; the rich should not be trusted. Let me explain, ladies and gentlemen; the ojou-san lacked any cooking ability. She probably looked at a cookbook and replicated only the picture while ignoring the recipe. The sandwich somehow tasted spicy, sweet, and bitter, all at the same time. How is that even possible? I felt my consciousness wavering from a single bite, but I continued eating. "*gag*... I hate this..." It was sheer agony.

"Why are you pushing yourself so far, Hachi-kun? Just throw it out if you don't like it." Rin blankly asked, missing the entire point of my actions.

"No, as much as I despise this meal, the ojou-san put effort into making it, and I have to return the favor. Sure, it doesn't taste good, or even edible, but... I can't just spit all over her feelings." I explained while finishing my sandwich.

"Hikigaya-kun does that mean...?" The ojou-san hopefully asked with tears in her eyes.

"No, I am not eating the entire basket or telling you it's delicious as what you've made isn't fit for human consumption. What do you take me for, a nice guy? Or even worse, a masochist?"

"Tch, what a coldhearted statement. Has no one ever taught you about the fragility of a maiden's heart?"

"Considering my prior experience," I glared at Rin, who didn't have any boisterous retort prepared, "Such an outcome shouldn't be too surprising."

"Ding, dong!" The bell rang, signaling the break's end... Wait, it's over already? I never got to relax.

"Growl~," or even eat...

"Such misfortune..."

Infinite Loner

Lunch was not a pleasant experience, to say the least. If not for the Academy's expansive facilities (read: conveniently placed vending machines), I would have been a goner... The ojou-san's cooking was that awful. Her sandwich went from unpleasant to near toxic after only a few minutes. The ordeal put that famous phrase, "different strokes for different folks," into perspective: Senpai cannot pull off the privileged persona, I fail at whispering sweet nothings, and the ojou-san cannot be left unattended in the kitchen. Trying to force ourselves into those confines only had poor results... But maybe with enough practice, I could become capable of swooning girls on command. The heartthrob of all heartthrobs... Perhaps even the King of Riajuu?...

Hah, hah, hah! Like that would ever happen. The lonely life is the only one for me.

However, I lived and was left utterly apathetic to the upcoming practical session with 1-2. I stumbled into the class, groggy and somewhat irritated, gathering my belongings before heading to the locker room.

"So, Hachiman, care to lead Charles to the locker room?" Unfortunately, my former roommate decided to make his reappearance, catching my attention. Wow, already on a first-name basis, you sure do work fast. This must be thanks to those infamous "protagonist powers" of his... How many times have they activated today? I should have started keeping score.

"No, do it yourself."

"Come on, Hachiman, help your friend out here?"

"Friends, huh? That's quite the subjective term you used there." I hummed, my voice sounding a few pitches lower.

"Subjective, what are you talking about?"

"Oh, it's not a big deal... someone like you wouldn't understand either way."

"Come on, I had no other options at the time... Besides, you were the one enthusiastic about the free food." He trailed into an unsettling silence. He knows more than he admits; I know his look very well. After all, it's one that I wear often.

"Don't tell me, you know about her... inadequacies," I whispered, afraid that someone may be listening in on our conversation.

"What?" He blanched and resumed his trademark oblivious expression... Wow, another flash in the pan.

"Always full of half-steps, are we," I grumbled while scurrying away from the room, as students tended to flood the locker room a few minutes after classes ended.

With careful planning, I quickly reached my destination by avoiding all student hotspots. Inside, I changed before the others could arrive and confidently strode out (read: trudged) to the field.

"No matter how often I think about it, this skin-tight body suit is a horrible design." Making my way to a spot secluded from others, I glanced at my outfit, scowling. There was a strong spring breeze, and that sent shivers down my spine. Why couldn't IS Academy be like most schools and have students wear tracksuits for physical education class?... My wandering eyes would definitely appreciate such a change.

"What are you doing by yourself, Hickory?" Standing before me was a slope, not too steep or smooth, but somewhere in the middle. A lesser individual would be capable of classifying the sight with complex calculations. However, as the King of Loners, I had no interest in such a skill... Acting distant and reserved has its benefits, you know~?

"... Is it B or possibly C? What was that formula again?" I muttered under my breath, too caught up in the dark arts.

"Oi, Hickory, are you listening?" A hand waved in my face, trying to gain my attention.

"H-huh?" The gesture broke my lull and cued me back into reality. Instead of a natural wonder, there was the pouting face of Mary Holmes, my pink-haired, mystery-crazy clubmate. She seemed exasperated for some reason instead of her usual happy-go-lucky nature... I wonder what could have brought on the sentiment?

"Fishy," she remarked, taking one step backward and covering herself with her arms.

"What, are you finally having second thoughts about associating with me? It took you long enough," I concluded and started to walk away, glad to have our strange relationship over. Now, if I could only find a way to drop out of the Detective Club without Senpai noticing.

"Where do you think you're going?" A tight grip on my arm forced me in place.

"I know this may shock people like you, but not everything in life is a mystery. Situations exist where the answer is as clear as day."

"And how is that related to you ignoring me and walking away?"

"I thought you knew already, but we're..."

"Oh, come on, Hickory, don't be so cold. Why would I ever want to get rid of my Watson?" She cut me off with her statement, laughed, and slapped my back in what she considered a good-natured fashion.

"Tch," I flinched at her touch, my uniform doing me no favors, "Are you hot or cold, make up your mind already, Holmes. You might give someone the wrong idea with this routine."

"Oh, and what misunderstanding could you be implying, Hickory? It wouldn't be that I was a... tsun-de-re?" She enunciated the last word with every symbol while striding to me, wearing a knowing look. How does she know about things like tsunderes: she was a foreigner and an ojou-san?

"No..." I responded, looking away, disinterested.

"Quite the curious cat, are we?" She replied, her grin growing wider by the second... Slow down there; you might blind me with your smile... And why did she compare me to a cat? If I was any animal, it would be a bear, as they lived alone and hibernated during the winter, not wasting energy socializing.

"Whatever... Were you not talking about me earlier? Something about how I was alone or something," I changed topics, hoping she would stop annoying me or start a secret route. You know, the one option the developers added to the game but never advertised, expecting the fan base wouldn't care or notice its inclusion.

"Oh, I forgot all about that; it's rare to see a wild Hikigaya-kun."

"Wait, did you just say my name, and more importantly, why do I sound like a legendary pokemon?"

"You're not?"

"Oi, oi, that's not funny..."

"In any case, you're usually with that group of yours, and despite claiming to be the "Master Loner," I never see you by yourself."

"It's the..."

"Yeah, yeah... So did you get in a fight with your buddy?"

"Please, that didn't happen, as I'm not close enough with anyone to have "fights" or "in-jokes," so don't worry, I'll be fine." I proudly replied with a smug expression. With my title as "King of Loners," I have a -100 modifier against teasing. Try to make me feel flustered. I dare you.

"Wow, you really are pathetic." What's with the deadpan, Holmes? I'm not a basket case, just a loner who sees beyond the empty platitudes of youth. I revel in solitude. "Just stop talking, Hickory, as you're making me feel bad for you."

"Well, I'm sorry for being me."

Infinite Loner

Minutes later, everyone arrived, uniformed, on the IS Field and waited for Orimura-sensei's further instructions.

"Today, we have basic IS entry training; all personal IS users split up, as you are the team leaders."

*groan* What a pain, working with the "sheep" of the class. If you can't move an IS, why are you even here? There's a practical exam for a reason, you know~? I hope all the social butterflies avoid me, as I don't feel like reopening the mess that is my love life. Just a single passing smile is all it takes for me to get going. Then it's exchanging phone numbers, talking about the weather, thinking about her everywhere I go...

"Once the cycle starts, it's nearly impossible to break," my gaze grew several shades darker.

"Hikigaya, I swear if I see one more sigh, it's extra laps around the track." Orimura-sensei barked in my direction. You can't force me to be less snarky; only I can do that. "Hikigaya..." Her gaze demanded total obedience.

"Ok, I'll cooperate, Sensei, so stop glaring at me," which I readily offered.

All the students dispersed after my whimper, with the majority crowding Ichika and the Dunois... Naivety must be in season.

The ojou-san and slave-driver had smaller groups, half the size of the other male pilots. Leaving the final two personal IS holders: myself and Laura Bodewig. Almost no one grouped around the latter, probably scared of catching frostbite from her glare. I can see the resemblance to Orimura-sensei, so she must have been a former student. I don't blame them for being apprehensive.

*stare~* Great, now she's looking at me.

Uh, how do I respond?

*stare~* I sent her a lazy glance while carrying out my task for the training exercise. There was no point in acting too interested, factoring in how well our first encounter went. She became one of the few people I tread carefully around. It was a list home to heavy hitters like nee-san or the eerie Shinonono Tabane and her elastic personality. Make one wrong move around them, and the results could be... explosive.

"So, Hikigaya-kun, was it?" One of the sheep... I mean, impressionable classmates struck up a conversation with me... Why does it have to be small talk, though... The bane of my existence.

"Yes."

*stare~* I continued feeling a piercing gaze directed at me, presumably from someone nearby. The source was relatively obvious but not worth confronting. I knew better than to stir up trouble with the Brunhilde's European protege... I wonder what the German word would be?

"You're friends with Orimura Ichika, right?"

"He's an idiot."

*stare~~*

"... Do you know his hobbies, likes, or dislikes?"

"He's an idiot."

*stare~~~*

"I see... Woah, what are you doing?" She exclaimed, shocked by my sudden action. I carried her, bridal style, into the training unit to expedite matters. It also didn't help that the transfer student did not cease her silent assault, the pressure gradually rising to an almost unbearable degree. Her eyes were like a vice slowly pulling tighter... Why is she being so persistent when we barely know each other?

"It's quicker this way... Look at that, you're already in the cockpit," I explained, nonplussed by her apprehension.

They say only 3% of conversations are expressed verbally, with the rest unaccounted for. Sure, I may suck in social settings, but my observational skills are top-notch, leaving me perfect for a situation like this. Loners don't necessarily communicate in words but with body expressions and other non-verbal cues.

*stare~*

*stare~* I gave up trying to ignore her; it was no longer worth the effort. The two of us were in our own world, sizing each other up with a staring match... Oh, someone has a massive inferiority complex and a traumatic childhood; good to know... Ok, if you don't like me, tell me something I haven't heard before... No, I'm not Ichika's secret brother; I only barely tolerate his presence. I learned a lot from our exchange.

"Hickory, stop staring at Bodewig. It's creepy." Wait, someone actually wanted my help? Mom, get the camera; this is ground-breaking news... Hold on, the memory card's full of Komachi's younger moments, and my parents are never home, so... *sigh* Even my jokes are pathetic.

"Why are you here, Holmes? I thought you'd be interested in investigating the "mysterious transfer student," not little old me? Besides, you have no responsibility to keep me company, as it's not club hours. And we already had our earlier... interrogation?... intimidation?... verbal exploitation?"

"Just call what it really was, a conversation!" She whined, fed up with my response.

"A conversation, huh? Is that something you can eat?" I playfully (read: lazily) added.

"..." She rolled her eyes at my reference before continuing, "Yeah, I thought about that, but it would be impossible for me to learn anything from that crowd." She remarked while pointing to the slew of students surrounding Dunois. They were all jockeying for his attention. "And besides, what if I wanted to spend some time with you." She muttered something, but I couldn't make out the exact words. Maybe it was about monitoring my behavior since Senpai wasn't here. I don't know. "But, of course, you're oblivious. Why can't you be like Dunois?"

What I don't understand is why everyone likes that transfer student. I'm just as cool as them, not to mention I ace most assessments (except math and science) and am a good listener. Combined with my average looks, I'm a pretty high-spec guy, you know~?

"No, no, no, Hickory, your "listening" is just quietly complaining while pretending to care. Dunois is a way better man than you are..." Did you guys hear something because I didn't? It must be all that IS noise, "Now you're just ignoring me. How rude." Something had to be interfering with my hearing because I almost heard someone claim I was flawed. Hilarious.

In any case, my line was thin, waning out very quickly, just the usual of lifting a student to have them activate their IS, teaching them to walk a few steps forwards and backward, gently release them, rinse and repeat. I have no intention of raising any flags with my classmates (see my traumatizing past for further details), so maintaining little eye contact with the attendee gave me a very uneventful class, just how I like it.

Once done, I wandered over to my favorite corner of the arena, basking in the wonder of my energy efficiency (read: laziness). Is it even possible to look more intimidating than I am right now, especially while wearing the Shades? I truly wonder.

I also seize the opportunity to sneer at Ichika for his radiation of Riajuu-energy draws students toward him like moths to a flame. Look at all of them, begging for the famed "bridal-carry," even though I did the same thing at my station. It's a double standard, yet I'm so grateful for being wildly unpopular, as dealing with those superficial people would sicken me. Although...

A long-forgotten smile and a gentle laugh from a girl of a forsaken era come to mind, "What's your name... Hikigaya... That's hilarious.". I quickly dismiss it. Never again. No one ever genuinely paid attention to me before, so why should I care now...

Years passed, and social circles formed across my elementary school, but I was strangely boxed out of them. I tried my hardest to fit in, keeping up with the latest trends, but every time I asked to join, the answer was the same," Sorry, Hikitani, our group is packed. Go ask someone else." Even at a young age, the world had something against me: my birthday parties devoid of people, my name endlessly mispronounced, my parents forever working, impressionable days of youth spent alone and overworked doing group projects while longingly watching everyone else have fun without a care in the world.

Sure, life eventually threw some softballs my way in Rin and Ichika, if you could call them that, but long-term damage was done. "Don't trust anyone. They'll betray you just like last time. Remember that when you were at your lowest, no one offered a hand", my alter ego drones. Every action I take is highly calculated, attempting to navigate the rough seas of adolescence. In any case, I'm a veteran in the arena of relationships, losing every single battle. I'll suit up and continue fighting my futile war, hoping for an unlikely victory from the front.

One spiteful tirade on society aside, I genuinely enjoyed sitting to the side of all the Academy commotion, monologuing, until someone decided to interrupt...

"Zoom!" Actually, something, a throwing knife, quickly whizzed in my direction. I quickly summoned the UC's right hand to deflect the weapon. "Clink!" The weapon ricocheted against my armor seconds before it could wound me. Seriously who owns one of those?

Wait... The answer is obvious, "3.7 second deployment time, interesting...How can you stay calm like this when I could attack you at any time, Hikigaya Hachiman." Oh, look who it is, everyone's least favorite Magical Girl reject and my deranged roommate, Laura Bodewig. Are you telling me that the dagger thrown my way was just a test?! I know students at IS Academy are eccentric, but that's taking things a bit too far.

Concealing my panic and worry, I think of a logical rebuff to her action... I've got it, "If my assumptions are correct and you hold Orimura-sensei in high regard, offing me will do no favors. One, I'm no slouch of an IS fighter, as proven by that test of yours, so have fun combating the Undefeated Champion. And two, many people would back me here, including your beloved instructor, since I'm virtually an honorary Orimura at this point. Besides, killing a rare male IS pilot wouldn't look too good for Germany, you know~?" I hope she doesn't call me out here, as everything I said was a complete and utter lie.

I hope you're ready for another monologue because here we go: all my victories at the Academy were flukes. The ojou-san had no idea how the Undefeated Champion fought and was probably shocked at Ichika's surprisingly strong performance against her.

Rin didn't have time to slowly crush me under Shenlong's superior strength in the Class-League Tournament since the whole mysterious IS affair ruined things. What about how I was initially pulling ahead? Well, my boost gauge (nitrous but for IS) was dropping from all my fancy moves, so sooner or later, I would have run out of speed to dodge those pressure cannons. After all, did you know, that squishy armor plus big gun equaled a humiliating loss. And I don't even need to talk about my stupid suicidal play against the violet IS; my actions explain themself ("When it comes to losing, I'm the strongest."). I feel like everything always comes back to that sentence.

Oh, that objectively impressive deflection of Bodewig's knife I just pulled? That was just my pitiful luck finally kicking in for once or the immense strength of my self-preservation tendencies. Dying feels rather unpleasant, you know~?

Moving through my lies, no one cares about my existence here, case in point, the awkward atmosphere every time I join a conversation, the way classroom chatter stops when I walk in each morning, and the multiple times I'm laughed at in the Detective Club. If those facts don't scream unpopularity, I don't know what qualifies.

Finally, if killed, no party would honestly seek revenge for me, a loner who spent his life frantically chasing after friendship but always came up empty. Komachi may love her onii-chan, but I didn't raise an idiot, so she should know that I'm not worth ruining her entire life. Revenge is like eating dessert, sweet in the moment but detrimental in the long run. Researchers can just study Brunhilde's younger brother if they want a male pilot for all I care. Speaking of him, I'm pretty sure he's just pitying me at this point, calling me a "friend" and all...

However, my German roommate doesn't know any of those facts, so I think she falls for my ruse.

"I can't stand to say it, but your logic is sound. But watch your back, Hikigaya, as you're nothing but a speed bump in my plans of humiliating Instructor's younger brother." What a surprise.

"Ok, brats, time for the next phase of today's exercise!" Orimura-sensei barked, gaining everyone's attention. What do you mean there's more; I already suffered enough today.

"What will that imply, Orimura-sensei?" The ojou-san asked.

"Seeing that we just had the incident..." Nee-san's gaze hovered towards me... It wasn't my fault the fight ended that way, "It's important to talk about the basics of IS combat."

"Are we having a mock battle then?" Rin concluded.

"Yes, it will be a two-on-one engagement." Orimura-sensei continued... So someone will end up outnumbered... Hold on... This conversation is going in a dangerous direction. I activated Stealth Hikki, hoping to not be selected."Hmm, let's see? How about our "dynamic duo," show us what they're capable of." She pointed toward the original pair of male pilots. Wait, what?

"Why do I have to fight, Sensei? I was in the infirmary only a few days ago?" I tried to excuse myself from participating.

"You wouldn't be going against me, Hikigaya?" Nee-san's gaze hollowed out as she stared at me.

"Come on, Hachiman, let's just do what she says..." Ichika dragged me towards the center of the arena.

"But, it's..." I started but stopped after looking at my classmate's face. It was clouded over, almost like he lost all will to argue.

"Ok," I accepted and resigned myself to this miserable state.

"You two will face..." Orimura-sensei gestured above to an incoming object. What is it, and why is it getting faster?.. Oh, no.

"Ichika, get out of the way!" I exclaimed while running out of the collision zone.

"Huh?.." He was too late.

"Boom!" The object collided with Ichika, creating a large crater on the arena's floor.

"Ooh, that must hurt."

"Uh, what's going on... Glomp." My classmate groaned as he latched onto something soft.

"Ah, Orimura-kun~." In response came a flustered noise... He actually did it; I never thought it was possible. Orimura Ichika pulled off a real-life "Lucky Pervert" event.

"Yamada-sensei, why are you on top of me?" And he was none the wiser of his exploits. His density truly has no bounds.

"Ichika!"

"Ichika-san!"

"You animal!" However, unlike trashy media, in reality, actions have consequences. The ojou-san, gorilla, and slave-driver pounced on Ichika for his unintentional boldness.

"I-It's not what it looks like... Glomp." He tried denying responsibility, but...

"Boom!" The facts say otherwise.

"Hah, hah, hah." I enjoyed the show of my former roommate running for his life. For once, the Rom-Com Gods were on my side, "Ouch! What was that for?" my laughing was interrupted by a stinging pain.

I turned to find the source of my troubles and saw a glaring Laura Bodewig, "You disgust me, Hikigaya Hachiman."

*sigh* My high school life is so wrong.

Infinite Loner

"Ok, with everything sorted out now," Orimura-sensei commented once Ichika was done running... So I can't avoid this fight, huh? Well, let's at least make this a painless experience.

"Come, Byakushiki!"

"Solitude is my strength, and logic is my sword!" We summoned our ISs in preparation for the training exercise.

"We will now begin the mock battle!"

IS Academy Practice Match

[Yamada Maya- Rafael Revive (Long-Range Variant): Shield Energy- 110/110%]

Versus

[Orimura Ichika- Byakushiki: Shield Energy- 100/100% and Hikigaya Hachiman- Undefeated Champion: Shield Energy- 100/100%]

Match Start

"We'll go with the usual, Hachiman. Formation Number 3?" Ichika asked once the announcement ended.

"Ok, but can you not bring up that name? A part of me dies every time you refer to it." I added, displeased by his words. Before anyone asks, I did not devise the Formation idea; that was all him... Except for the specifics, those might have been a Hikigaya production...

"But it sounds more exciting this way, almost like we're superheroes fighting crime." He complained, being quite fond of his creation.

"Whatever, let's fight now, discuss later!"

"Roger," after that prolonged discord, we quickly shot apart. Our goal was to attack Yamada-sensei from opposite flanks. We had the equipment to launch a multi-pronged offensive.

"Take this!" My classmate roared, his bladed Yukihira Nigata glowing bright with energy. Reiraku Byakuya, huh? So he's not pulling any punches from the beginning. I guess that means I should support him from afar with my bow.

"Whoosh!" I fired an arrow, hoping to distract Sensei and stall for time.

"Clink!" She blocked my attack with the barrel of her sniper rifle. So you've stopped me, but what about the charging Byakushiki? We've caught you in a checkmate, Sensei; there's no way...

"Crash!" And as expected, Ichika landed a hit on our opponent. However, it was not a clean strike, as Sensei contorted herself at the last minute to limit the damage. She lost shield energy, but not the decisive ending the strategy called for.

"How?" Ichika blanched, realizing he did not score a finishing blow.

"Keep your head in the game! The fight isn't over!" I exclaimed, trying to regain his focus before his inaction could be exploited.

"What a pleasant surprise, Orimura-kun." Unfortunately, I was too late, as Yamada-sensei reappeared behind my classmate, warmly smiling. How could she move so fast? The stats said the Rafael Revive was...

"Dunois, explain how Yamada-sensei outmaneuvered Orimura."

"He underestimated the Revive's flexibility in combat, mainly how quickly it can move when paired with a skilled pilot."

"Boom!" She fired her machine's weapon point-blank at Byakushiki... This is bad; he was outplayed in a heartbeat.

"Ichika, talk to me?"

"Heh, I guess she wasn't a teacher for nothing." He mused from across the field, Sensei's attack having sent him flying.

"Care to go a round, Hikigaya-kun?" My assistant teacher asked as she charged at me.

"No thanks, I was never one to dance," I responded, swapping weapons for my daggers and rocketing toward her.

"Clash!" We traded blows, her gun barrel against my daggers. Thankfully, my strength didn't give out, and I slowly started overpowering Sensei... Let's go, Hachiman!

"Here I come!" Ichika decided now was the perfect opportunity to return as he raced towards us.

"Wait, don't!"

"Crash!" Yamada-sensei loosened her grip on her weapon and retreated. Leaving Ichika with a crash course toward me.

"Whoosh!" I barely meandered out of the way before our paths collided. "Boom!" My roommate, however, was not as lucky, being flung again, cratering the arena floor... How many times has he done that this semester? Probably more times than expected for a personal IS pilot... But who am I to judge.

"Fang, care to elaborate on what just happened?"

"Ichika and Hachi-kun's poor communication allowed Yamada-sensei to turn the tables on them."

"Are you still alive down there?" I asked, opening a private voice channel with my associate.

"..." His line returned only silence, somewhat concerning me. Is he okay? Did his protagonist's luck finally run out?

"Uh, H.H., phone the infirmary (reference)..." Until he groaned seconds later, clearly alive if he was making movie references. And a foreign classic: not a genre you would expect from him.

"Done already, boys?"

"Such a performance is disappointing for our pair of outsiders."

"Maybe if they trained, this fight would have lasted longer." I wanted to retire and return to the shadows, uncaring of how a loss would blemish my record. After all, winning doesn't matter, but the experiences and friends you made along the way. Therefore losing and having no friends is the ultimate success. Am I lying to myself?... Absolutely not!

"This approach isn't working. We need to try something else," I advised, my brain-to-mouth temporarily short-circuiting. What are you doing, Hachiman? This fight was supposed to be uncompetitive; a victory would prove nothing and only attract more unwanted attention.

"And what would that imply, Hachiman: Strategy Number 2?" Ichika replied, slowly rising out of his dusty dormitory.

"... Even though the name is childish... Yes," I sighed through gritted teeth, the topic sounding too much like something the chuuni would enjoy.

"..." We shared a glance, fully aware of our new direction. Sure, we probably cannot defeat Yamada-sensei: my fighting skills are inadequate compared to our classmates, Ichika had a defective machine, and our teamwork was mediocre at best, but... Pride is a strange thing; it always resurfaces in unexpected places. And now might be one of those times.

"We're not going down today!" The two of us affirmed in unison. Ichika reactivated Yukihira Nigata while I summoned two daggers, our eyes, like his weapon, were coursing with energy. This is it, our second wind. I can prove my naysayers (read: classmates) wrong. Hah, hah, hah!... The year of the loner has arrived!

Infinite Loner

"Checkmate~?"

"We surrender," Unfortunately, due to budget cuts, daylight savings, leap year, etcetera, the year of the loner was cut short. The duo of male pilots did not have plot armor, shielding them from Sensei's blasts or a plan that turned the tides in their favor. They were soundly defeated, each of their moves picked apart and dissected by their opponent. Nor did Hikigaya Hachiman find any catharsis in shattering his classmate's expectations. If one were to describe his expression, it would be... disappointment, a shock for the man who regularly underperformed. The match was a failure on every front, further confirmation of how reality tends to betray dreams... Wait, why did I refer to myself in the third person?

"I am not related to a certain Railgun, after all, Hikigaya affirms."

"Next time, learn to respect your superiors more," Orimura-sensei remarked as we disengaged our machines, shaking me out of my esper-induced shock.

"I guess you learn something new every day. I never thought Yamada-sensei would easily outmatch us," Ichika mused.

"She was a National Representative, after all," nee-san answered.

"Hold on, a National Representative? Then why is she an assistant teacher?" I asked. It didn't make sense that someone so impressive chose teaching. There were so many more lucrative options for skilled IS pilots... I should know since I've been researching potential backup careers if the house-husband plan goes wrong. It's never a bad idea to prepare for the worst-case scenario.

"You don't need to sound so shocked, Hikigaya-kun. I was only ever a National Representative Candidate," Yamada-sensei replied, somewhat embarrassed.

"So you're telling me that there are pilots much stronger than you?"

"I feel like you're forgetting about someone," nee-san grumbled.

"Whatever do you mean, nee-san? You're washed..."

"It's Orimura-sensei to you, brat!" She roared in response.

"Ouch!" I nursed another head wound... Why does this keep happening to me? First Bodewig and now her Instructor.

"H-how does it feel, Hachiman, being on the receiving end for once?" Ichika commented, struggling to hide his grin.

"At least I didn't pull off a "Lucky Pervert" incident."

"Hey, what does that mean?"

"Who knows?"

"I know that look; you're making fun of me!"

"That statement is subjective, Ichika. You could have misinterpreted my intentions."

"Don't try and worm yourself out of this, Hachiman. We both lost the fight."

"Do you see me complaining?"

"You two are very close, huh?" Dunois interrupted our conversation with his comment.

"What are you talking about, Dunois? I don't have any friends."

"You don't have to say it, Hickory, if it bothers you that much... Just know that I'll always be there for you," and Holmes joined in, shedding crocodile tears.

"Oi, what's so funny about my love for privacy?"

"Nothing~," she hummed, her palm slowly growing closer to my back... Why does that seem familiar?... Wait, she is about to...

"Not today, Holmes," I pulled away, not allowing her to strike again.

"Boo~, you're so boring, Hickory," she visibly deflated, puffing out her cheeks in exasperation, "But you're not like him, right, Charlie?" Before bouncing back into a bright mood, turning to Dunois... Wait, did she already give the transfer a nickname?... How fast. The day has not even ended... And she didn't butcher his name either... But it's not like I'm jealous or anything!

"I will strive to meet your glowing expectations, Holmes-san."

"Call me Mary. I've never been one for formalities."

"But what about Hikigaya-san? He refers to you by your family name."

"He's... he's an exception... as my Watson," my clubmate shuddered while speaking, probably floored by Dunois's logical assessment. Why was she so informal with everyone, anyway? I thought she was from some prestigious European family? Or was her name and personality just a coincidence?

"Wasn't today interesting, Hachiman?" Ichika interrupted, breaking my train of thought.

"In what regard?" The two of us walked side-by-side, spaced from our peers and teachers. He probably slowed his pace to meet mine and have this conversation.

"... So much happened," he sighed, washing away some of his usual positivity. And there he is, my (former) roommate, Orimura Ichika, after hours. He did not have a mask per se like the common riajuu, a front to show off to the masses, but a battery for social interaction. At full charge, he was your averaged bright-eyed protagonist, but near empty, indifference took over. And right now was one of those moments.

"I never thought my first day back would have been so eventful."

"You and me both, especially the whole roommate change."

"You're against the move; I thought you liked making friends?"

"Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Dunois or anything; we could even become close friends. However, everything is moving too fast. It was like I blinked, and everything changed. At some point, you wonder if we missed the memo or something."

Feeling inspired by his words, I glanced around at our surroundings, the gears turning in my head. ... Being left in the dark, huh? The same message continued to reappear throughout the day. Its most blatant representation is...

"I will crush you, Orimura Ichika..." the skulking silver-haired student, trailing the line out of the Arena. If there was anyone to be wary of these days, it was her... And wouldn't you know, she happened to hate my closest liability... I mean, acquaintance.

"Well, you know what they say, bon voyage." Momentarily shaking off my paranoia, I shrugged, keeping my skepticism to myself.

"What does it mean? Is it French?"

"Maybe, maybe not?"

"Always glib with your words, Hachiman... Never change." He laughed with a harder edge than expected but was still joyful.

"You don't need to tell me twice." And for the first time in a while, my face curved slightly... Was it a grimace or a smirk?... The verdict is still out on that ruling.

Regardless, today marked the end of an era... One that did not have the best start, climax, or even end... but happened nonetheless. Orimura Ichika might not have been the brightest student, made the best decisions, or shared all my tastes. Under most other scenarios, I would have avoided someone like him habitually. However, this was IS Academy, which made him the best worst option. Especially when compared to someone like his successor... Who was probably sending me a death glare at this very moment.

I may not be showing a visceral reaction and appear calm more than anything... perhaps a little too laissez-faire or apathetic. But give it time: maybe not today, tomorrow, or the day after that. The realization will sink in, and nostalgia will start rewriting history like that one visual novel... What was it called, something related to a key? Who knows?

The point is that a line has been crossed, checkpoint passed. If life was a game, this would be the point to save and take stock of the situation. Alas, our reality isn't that kind, as if it was, my middle school experience would have ended differently... Like before, I had no choice but to blindly bound forward, unaware of the storm brewing around me.

And so, without much fanfare, the 1025 duo went their separate ways

Infinite Loner

"Good teamwork is essential to any aspiring pilot, as not everything can be solved by one person. Remember to reach out to your classmates, and practice in groups, whenever you have the chance."

"Ding, dong!"

"And with that, classes are now over, so everyone is dismissed." Please, I don't need teamwork; I'm a one-man wrecking crew.

Academy classes were the same old experience, as I made it through another uneventful lesson. Over the past week, I finally found more time to partake in my favorite pastimes of reading light novels and ignoring the world, seeing that great weights were recently lifted off my shoulders in the Class-League Tournament and subsequent room change.

Sure, I still have Detective Club, but we never have any requests, so it's no big deal when all I have to do is show up on time and sit on the floor. Yes, I gave up picking a good chair, as Hamilton somehow sabotaged all twenty in storage, and it's too much work to check the rooms next door.

Those developments meant it was no longer necessary to masquerade as a decent person, and I transitioned from a socially awkward yet upstanding student to a reclusive loner. I let my grades slide a little, sharpen my gaze, and not comb my hair, and no one likes me anymore. It's incredible. Besides, the best expectations are the lowest ones, and my new role suits this mentality perfectly, just like an old baseball glove.

My personal evolution brought about the surprising side effect of my teachers' lectures dulling in intensity as Loner Skill #88: Feigning Focus finally kicked in, and time began slowing to a crawl. Granting me ample time to strategize ways to avoid interaction with my classmates (read: internally complain to death about youth and its problems).

Speaking of them, the first night with the soldier (you know the drill) passed uneventfully, as I slept like an infant after our talk during training. Sure, I heard weird noises at night, but I ignored them. Paranoia is not something worth suffering insomnia over.

There weren't any other strange tests besides her glaring daggers at me throughout our Academy classes. Are you trying to test my endurance to disdain, perhaps? Sadly for you, my mental walls are thicker than the Maginot's defenses, source: me, so stare all you want. I feel nothing...

I recall another anomaly from the past week: my German classmate constantly egging me into a fight. After our conversation during practice, she spent nearly every waking hour demanding a challenge from the Undefeated Champion. Knowing my policy on effort, I clearly and consistently rejected all her offers, but she refused to give up. It was like having a heavily armed parrot squawking in your ear nonstop. Hold on, maybe that was the reason everyone avoided me? No...

Uh... This routine was pretty standard fare in IS Academy (see the Hikigaya Archives for further details).

[Flashback]

From mornings...

"Hikigaya Hachiman, I demand that you fight me!"

"Do you know what time it is? We have classes in five minutes."

"That is more than enough to crush you."

"Whatever... I guess someone forgot who our homeroom teacher was..."

"Homeroom... Ok, I may need to reconsider my request."

To lunchtime...

"Finally, a reprieve from the grueling slog of classes. Now, what should I have today? MAX, MAX, or possibly... MAX?"

"Hikigaya Hachiman, the time for our clash is now!"

"Are we seriously doing this again? Was last time not enough for you?"

"Our paths colliding is inevitable. You are a roadblock standing in my way."

"Can this wait until I have my daily MAX?"

"No, because you will find a way to worm yourself out of the situation."

"Is that Orimura-sensei chastising a student with her cold glare?"

"Where? Where?"

"Heh... how gullible."

And not even after school was I safe...

"Today must be my lucky day; club was canceled, and I have no homework. If this isn't a free pass to laze about, what is?"

"You may have foiled my earlier attempts, but I have cornered you, Hikigaya Hachiman. Fight me!"

"Huh?... Oh, I didn't see you there. I had my headphones in."

"When did you put those on?... Stop ignoring me! I am a member of the elite Schwarze Hase brigade!"

"Huh? I can't hear you, [Super Stream] is on, and it's my favorite song."

"Super Stream, why does that title sound familiar?..."

"And before I forget, Orimura-sensei is also a dorm supervisor, so keep it down. She may not condone your constant screeching."

"Instructor..."

"I swear this is getting easier over time..."

[Flashback End]

I had fun doing that.

All in all, life almost approximated my ideals of high school, which was just more of the latter stages of middle school, part two. No one pays attention to me, and I do the same to them. It was so soothing, therapeutic even.

However, all good things must end, and it's been a while since my last mid-life crisis... I mean, school-sanctioned fight, so there's a doubles competition next month, as Orimura-sensei explained this morning. We can't have things go any other way.

Maybe the school's higher-ups were inspired by my gallant efforts supported by my "childhood friend" against that violet intruder two weeks ago. I highly doubt it since the battle only ended in a double knockout, but I can pretend to matter.

"What am I to do?" I idly asked myself. Thanks to my complicated mess of a social life, I had numerous options. Sure, they all had flaws, but it's the thought that counts, right?

"Hachi-kun, do you want to team up as the "best friend brigade"? We'll have loads of fun in the process, just like middle school." There was the "childhood friend" or the slave-driver... Haven't I already done this bit? Ignoring the formalities, we're not friends. All we have is a parasitic relationship where you try to warp me to suit your whims. Only one person can tell Hikigaya Hachiman what to do, and that's Senpai... I mean me! Also, you and I have very different definitions of "fun.".

"Maybe he would want to make the "slacker squad"? Right, Hachi-kun?" You're only lazy when it's convenient. Also, I do not want to end up on American television for working with you; I have enough problems, and I don't need 24-hour news channels amplifying them.

"No, Fang, Hamilton, Hachiman is obviously going to work with me as fellow practitioners of the blade." I never liked kendo, as it's too much work, and the uniform reminds me of my black period, "With this mask, I call upon the spirits to activate my special move, Hyper Beam!" (I could feel chills run down my spine, recalling that memory.) Also, have I ever told you that you remind me of a gorilla?

"You're all mistaken, as Hikigaya-kun will choose me and create an unstoppable duo of personal IS users," stay away from me, stalker. I'm not giving you my contact information or my sister's birthday. I don't want a surprise visit to the Hikigaya household either; Komachi almost cried the last time that happened.

[Flashback]

"Knock, knock! Hello, Hachi-kun; are you there?"

"Onii-chan, I can't believe it!"

"What's all the commotion for?"

"Someone's at the door for you."

"It's probably Ichika."

"No, it's not him, but a girl. I can't believe I would see the day when a girl came to visit you, onii-chan. I could now die happily as a younger sister, but I won't because you would be helpless without me. Oh, that has to be worth a lot of points!"

"No, this can't be happening. I must be dreaming... Yeah, that has to be the case, so I should go back to bed and wake up. Orimoto will be waiting for me there, smiling."

"Don't even bother to try and ignore me, Hachi-kun. I can hear your muttering from across the door."

"M-muttering, what are you talking about? Besides, how do you even know where I live?"

"Ichika told me your exact address."

"He betrayed me... the idiot."

[Flashback End]

Never Again.

"I don't necessarily have much of a vested interest in this debate, but if I could partner with Hikigaya, I could gain much-needed data for my project." Don't treat me like a lab rat; I have rights, you know~?... actually, I'm okay with this pairing. You're the only person whose name is not on my avoid list.

"Maybe as his club's president, I could work with Hickory..." I've run out of witty arguments against each offer, so... loners don't work with others. It's "Hi-ki-ga-ya," not "Hickory," please get it right next time, and you already had a scene during the training exercise. If we spend any more time together, it might activate a secret route.

Alright, with every scenario prepared for, I'll respond, "What if I..."

"Your opinion doesn't matter!" They all exclaimed in unison.

"..." And I was immediately shut down, so much for my free will.

Not even five minutes after it was announced, a ring of students formed around me. All of them were jockeying for the honor of working with (read: exploiting the services of) one Hikigaya Hachiman. I couldn't even turn to Ichika as a distractor, as he was already partnered with Dunois. A bit too quickly for my taste, but who am I to judge? The two male pilots were as thick as thieves, talking to each other, hanging out, and whatever else friends do together. That left me as the neglected third wheel. Which is very bad!

"..." I didn't necessarily want to be chained to any of my "friends?", "peers?", "classmates?" so I gave no answer to their requests. My heart has already been shattered by Orimoto, and I can't risk more trauma. The feelings of a loner are very fickle, you know~? And I'm only slightly joking about it too.

Just as I was going to leave this mess behind me and head for the dorm, Orimura-sensei interjected, "Hikigaya, I see you don't have a teammate. Not looking forward to that lottery, huh?" If you didn't know, unpaired students were all placed into a lottery with their partners decided by chance. It wasn't the most elegant system, and I would rather be alone than with a random student, but that's how the cookie crumbles.

*stare~*

*stare~~*

*stare~~~*

Strangely, the entire class and the multiple visitors were intently listening to this conversation. I guess they all cared about the fate of the Year's weakest pilot.

"Sensei, I don't really care about this tournament, as I just fought in two already, so it's not my place to protest. In fact, as the class rep, I encourage everyone else to try their hardest in the upcoming competition, so they can enjoy some time in the limelight while... I quietly watch them from the stands. I'm just being a synergistic player and a responsible leader by outsourcing some of my attention, creating a win-win situation." If I could crash and burn out from the first round, I would be a satisfied Hachiman. One, training is the worst. And two, foreign governments and multinational corporations attend this competition, and I have no desire to draw their attention. I may have been joking with my earlier dramatization of organizations studying the "Infinite Loner," but the Class-League Tournament provides the perfect excuse for them to do so.

Sure, all the upperclassmen... Wait, there are only two guys here... three if you count Dunois (there is something about them that feels off), so isn't it upperclasswomen? But that's a mouthful... all the Senpai would dominate most of their attention because each year had its own tournament. Third-years since they were scouted for vacancies in National and Corporate Representatives or entry in the prestigious Mondo Grosso competition (the Olympics with IS pilots). While for Second-years, organizations could track their progress over the last 12 months, especially the Student Council, whose President resided in this class.

The scouts even cared about some First-Years since there were multiple personal IS holders (Blue Tears, Shenlong, Iron Maiden, etc.) among them due to the appearance of the world's first male pilots.

After all those people, you would think I'd be nothing but a blip to these organizations, but... male IS pilots are weirdly fascinating subjects for some reason? The Undefeated Champion also did something remarkable against that intruder; I think it's called the "first instant-kill IS skill," but I'm unsure. Adding in my luck makes it all the more likely that somebody cares about my performance... Aside from nee-san, she has always been laser-focused on me. Maybe that was due to her personality or the embellished stories Ichika told her about me before we met, or it was something else entirely; who knows?

In conclusion, I'm an uninteresting case study; my IS is boring, and I'm boring, so stay away from me, multi-national corporations. My life causes enough problems, and I don't need the privacy-blind paparazzi, some evil syndicate lurking in the shadows, or rabid diplomats breathing down my neck, making matters worse.

"Well, if you're so committed to fair play, here is an offer you can't refuse as the leader of Class 1-1... You and Bodewig fight together in the tournament in a month."

"Hmm, interesting offer Sensei, but what if I refuse? I'm not necessarily a fan of crazy child soldiers."

"Grr..." It appeared that someone wasn't too happy about my words as the soldier growled at me from the back of the classroom.

"Who said this was a request?"

"Huh?"

"I am completely serious."

"You're joking, right, Sensei?"

"Why would I? We've known each other far too long for that to be the case."

"..."

"This is mandatory, Hikigaya, and if you try anything funny... Well, you already know the consequences." This proposal was not ideal since the German government would be cued into my performance throughout the tournament. Why? Because they had a transfer student with a personal machine that seemed experimental. They obviously needed extensive data collection to iron out some of the bugs. And look at that; there's another mysterious pilot working with their representative. Why wouldn't they pay attention to them if they already had their focus there anyway?... And then that train of thought continues: why doesn't the country contact this other pilot and see if they're interested in a study abroad opportunity or an internship? The excuse itself doesn't matter, as the intention is all the same, opening a line for further collaboration, repair rights, sponsorships, etcetera. Infinite Stratos cores were rare, so any opportunity to acquire one, let alone an unaffiliated, had to be pursued.

"Uh, maybe I could give you a raincheck on that?" I nervously replied while inching towards the door, opening it, and sprinting away. I had no interest in being a pawn in a geopolitical chess game. That was why I avoided popularity like the plague. The more my name spread, the more parasites it would attract, looking for a willing host.

"Run all you want, Hikigaya, but that won't change your responsibility. Besides, Bodewig knows where you sleep!" Sensei exclaimed as I moved further from the classroom.

Please, I'm not running away, but moving to a more advantageous position. It's a coincidence that I'm running to my secret spot. Why would someone like me shirk duties? I'm the most reliable guy around...

I'll consider your offer, Sensei!" Right now, I'm just hoping that I won't have to eat my words later.

Now that would invoke "such misfortune"...

Chapter 13.5: The Gods Continue Toying With His Emotions

"Uh, I hate running." After leaving my morally corrupt homeroom, I hid in my new secret hideout, a cliff overlooking the ocean surrounding the Academy, to avoid the prying eyes of my classmates. I stumbled upon this spot after a particularly rough Detective Club meeting ("Fish-boy, you're ten minutes late, you know what that means?"

"No, you'll never catch me alive, fallen angel!") as it was the only place where Senpai couldn't find me. I didn't have much to do there besides staring out at the water, but it felt nice to sit in silence. Maybe I should start eating my lunches out here? I would have the luxury of admiring the feat of engineering that was IS Island every day; just five years ago, it was an uninhabited strip of land, but here we are now. That sounds nice and relaxing, an hour without my annoying classmates... Wait, now's not the time to be distracted. Where was I... what did I want out of the Class-League Tournament?

Sure, I could easily refuse Sensei's offer and take my chances with the lottery, but that wasn't the best idea. By my calculations, I had about a 9% chance of being matched up with a potential headache if I chose that path, which was too high for my risk tolerance. I wasn't too keen on suffering another stint under "Houki-sensei," after all.

Also, a new "love interest" (read: a thorn in my side) could appear if I started reaching out to my other classmates, and I don't want that. If I just swallowed my pride (whatever's left of it) and worked with the soldier, I could achieve the secret, Lazy Ending.

From what I've seen, she's pretty strong, so I can hide behind her most fights and win by doing nothing or lose and tarnish my reputation (which is a great motivator). I would love to fade into social obscurity and live my life as a background character, laughing at Ichika's antics as the Academy's "only" male pilot.

After putting all the pieces together, I left the best place for my new dorm, Room 2012 (just what I needed). It was a bit farther from 1025, but I could now use my alternate entrance to save some time since it was in a less crowded wing of the Academy. It only required activating [Stealth Mode] before calling upon partial deployment, letting all the smoke subside. Then no one could see me. For once, I'm glad I have an onee-chan willing to dote on me.

Infinite Loner

[The Prodigy]

"Achoo!" While working on Project Camellia, I was overcome with a sudden urge to sneeze. Doesn't that mean someone is talking about me? I wonder who it could be? It can't be Chi-chan, her brother, Komachi-chan, or even Houki-chan, as they're all busy this time of day; I also don't consider many worthy of my attention, which further narrows the list. For some strange reason, Machi-machi is the only person who comes to mind, a smile lining his face as he mouths the words, "Thank you.". Wait, does that mean he's accepted me as his loving Onee-chan?

"Alright, I need to work harder too! Houki-chan can't be the only one left out, after all." Motivated by the thought of a smiling Machi-machi, I continued hammering out the design of my latest creation. Let's see, power-sharing fits well with Byakushiki, but what about the Undefeated Champion? Maybe a ramp to increase speed, making Machi-machi a more effective melee fighter or a weaker variation of his Stealth Mode...

Infinite Loner

[The Loner]

"Whoosh!" After flying for a few minutes, I arrived on the balcony and walked inside my room. While in midflight, the wind felt unusually chilly, but I attributed that to a stray breeze. The weather sure is unpredictable these days.

More importantly, I have nothing to worry about from my roommate. It's not like she expects anything from me, as her introduction declared all students of the Academy "undesirables," and she may still want my head on a pike for undisclosed reasons. I can't forget her calling me out during practice as well, and with those facts in mind, I gave it a 99.9% chance that hellish training was not in my immediate future. Maybe I could continue reading the light novels I brought from Chiba. I'd like that...

"I have been expecting you, Hikigaya." Wait, why does the soldier have a slight sparkle in her eye and anticipate my presence? I have a bad feeling about this... Wait, it could be the usual "fight me Hikigaya" routine. There is only a 0.1% possibility of the other scenario occurring. Thinking about this situation logically, I have nothing to worry about. Slight tangent, but does anybody notice how small Bodewig is? She almost resembles a highly armed stuffed animal. So cute. Woah, slow down, brain, that's a loaded opinion. We all know Komachi is the best, and it's not even close...

Infinite Loner

Hold on, why am I back here? A desolate landscape of endless desert, overcast magenta sky, lone swing set lying in isolation, the only place that comes to mind is the IS Realm. If that's true, then only one individual is responsible for this... "Sachi, where are you!" I call out, my voice echoing into the distance.

What warrants my IS disconnecting my conscious from reality? I'm not in a fight right now, and nothing serious has occurred with the Undefeated Champion... Besides, that time I beat myself half to death (Shield Energy Hit Absolute Zero)... or when Ichika had hit me with the Reiraku Byakuya (barrier disabling attack) while we were training... multiple times.

Ok, maybe Sachi's public service announcement could be warranted.

Or, she's going to explain the whole "Hyper Beam" issue; I didn't have the energy to launch it at the time, but it still worked, or perhaps introduce a brand new IS skill altogether. I'll take any advantage I can get at this point, for I'm a dirty cheater who mooches off his adorable sentient AI assistant and regrets nothing.

"Sorry, did you wait long, partner?" Finally, after what appeared to be a millennium, the sentient AI in question decides to show up.

Turning around, I address my "IS companion," "No but riddle me this, my childlike partner in crime. Why are you wearing a black sundress instead of the white one from last time? Did you spill your animal crackers or something during snack time?" Seeing Sachi without her ivory garment was unsettling, almost like a distortion in the universe. Even her eyes lacked some of their earlier excitement. Is she okay? I was close to consoling her with a head pat, but I restrained myself. Remember, Hachiman, the courts don't care about your feelings. Anyone can go to prison for child endangerment, no matter the evidence.

"*sniffle* I was watching, Hachi-san, today, and you likened your crazy classmate to someone on my level of cuteness. She tried to kill you, you know? I couldn't stand that, so I dragged you here. So tell me, do you even care about me anymore?! Or are you just a dog wagging its tail at whoever it meets."

"What?..." my thoughts slowed to a halt. Did Sachi really care that much about my thoughts of her?

I know this is all a joke, being someone who deserves no sympathy: I'm a person who excels at acting unordinary, am generally cold to others, and only recognizes the low lights of youth, and Sachi is programmed to work with me. But... I feel something emanate from the stone lodged somewhere in my body. I've never experienced this before, but maybe it could be that elusive feeling out of reach for loners... I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I, the two-faced, egotistical liar who cheated his way to the top, could have something so, so... genuine.

"Don't worry, Sachi, as nothing will change this undeniable fact; under all scenarios, and no matter what I say, do, or think, you're number one in my book, and don't get that twisted. You should be honored as I only hold one other person in this highly, my sister. So turn that frown upside down, and give your partner a hug." I know this goes against everything I believe in, but all the greats contradict themselves, so why can't I?

"I never knew you were such a softie, Hachiman, but this feels nice. Thank you." Sachi lightly murmurs into my chest. This is such a touching moment that not even a cynic of my caliber can ridicule it. For maybe the Rom-com Gods despise my guts, but the Family-drama Gods finally decide to throw me a bone. Yet it all feels bittersweet... almost like I'm in a nightmare hallucinating right before the rose-tinted curtains close. In any case, I've made it as a human being. Komachi, someone actually values me. Sure it may be a preprogrammed AI for my giant robot, but progress is progress, no matter how insignificant. Nothing could possibly ruin the almost euphoric feeling I'm experiencing...

Infinite Loner

Unfair. Life is just unfair. I have one meaningful conversation with Sachi, and the Rom-com gods intervene. Are you implying that the Sachi route is locked? I want a refund, as this game of "reality" blows. I can't believe the developers lock off the best girl. Ridiculous. What am I doing again... Right talking to crazy Bodewig over there. "No, I'm not doing this. I thought you hated my guts and saw yourself as the super-elite. How can I, a pitiful loner, help you?"

"Simple answer. You are now my dog." This conversation feels very familiar. Have I done this before?

"And if I refuse?" Let's see how this one ends.

"How do you feel about collars, Hikigaya." Hold on, that's not the punchline. She must be joking.

"You're not serious here, Bodewig-san?"

"No."

Just my luck... now I'm staring at my greatest fear, becoming a "boy toy" chained to an IS Academy student.

At least someone (probably) genuinely cares for me, so I call it a net-zero day on my part... Wait, Sachi also called me a dog...

Chapter End

Author's Note: I feel like we've covered a lot of ground today: a classic monologue, the introduction of our other European pilots, a tumultuous arena scene, and the obligatory manipulations of Hachiman's feelings. Do you have any suggestions for future editions to the story, have insight into my technique, or just want to cheer me on, write a review, as I'm genuinely curious about my audience's opinion of Infinite Loner. I know, I know, it sounds like a broken record, but I need some direction from others or my writing veers in a weird direction. And no one wants that, right? But if you're interested in more Mayflower Productions, check out my new story Catastrophe, as it somewhat resembles this story in style, but explores the exciting world of catgirls and my interpretation of the accident. I may update it soon if it generates enough interest, so give it a look if possible. As for any other plans... let's just say that time travel may be involved. Thank you for spending time reading Infinite Loner and I'll catch you on the flipside.

Please check out the poll posted on my profile, and vote for your favorite chapter of Infinite Loner. Your cooperation would be very much appreciated.

Preview:

"I'm Orimura Ichika."

"And I'm his close childhood friend, Fang Rin."

"And welcome to the fourth iteration of the Hikigaya Hachiman Watch Party!"

"So why did you drag me out of class, Rin? Charles and I had plans after school today. He was going to teach me how to use a sniper rifle."

"Can it, Ichika. Can't you see how what we're doing is more important?"

"No, not really. Can I go now?"

"Hah, hah, hah, you're such a tease, Ichika. In other news, just who is Isurugi Mio, Hachi-kun's Senpai?"

"Oh, her, she seems to be such a nice girl. I'm glad that she's close to Hachiman... and keeping his eccentricities in check."

"Ichika, did you just?"

"What?"

"Never mind. From what I've heard, Machi-chan's made quite the impression at her middle school. She's even an honorary member of some sort of Amusement Club. I should visit her soon. Speaking of clubs, Ichika we should join one together. It could be just like the good old days of you, me, Hachi-kun, and the other one... What was his name?"

"Dan, Gotanda Dan, the guy who's been our friend since elementary school."

"Yeah, that one! So how about it, IS Academy could be our oyster, and we're the pearl."

Steps echo behind them, growing louder until they stop, and an irate teacher growls," No matter how much I try to stop it, you people keep rising out of the woodwork."

"Chifuyu-nee!"

"What happened to that after-school meeting? You said it was important."

"Yeah, I sent Hikigaya to take care of it, so..." Her gaze sharpened at the two students.

"Next time on Infinite Loner- Chapter 14: Like a Stone, His Presence Creates Ripples." And they quickly understood her message.

"Oh, it's finally my turn to take the lead. It's not like I'm the other main character... Maybe I could explore Charles's reluctance to be around me?"

"So I've been overshadowed this time, well I don't care as I was just the primary antagonist. I'll let everyone else have their time in the sun... Wait that soldier took my potential screentime?! Ok, now it's personal. Watch your back, Laura Bodewig, as no one's closer to Hachi-kun than me."

"I hope you spend this break wisely, Hikigaya as if Bodewig's involved your future may not be smooth sailings."

*P.S.* If anyone would like access to the original version of chapter 13 please PM me as I still have the file...

Chapter End