Eh~ and maybe one or two years (?) later, here's that chapter =-=. Oh my. If you've been waiting, I'M SORRY. And for everyone that's come and supported me and everything, THANK YOU.

So the chapter might be horrendous but uh. Here it is all edited...

Also, as always author-chan needs motivation. Please by all means leave me comments~

Chapter 9 (Picnic part 2/2)

EMA

Not going…? But… why?

I haven't seen him act like this since… since I was in high school… He makes excuses… he runs away.

"How about you? Coming or not?" Yusuke's voice cuts me from my thoughts.

I look back at Makoto as he pulls on the door handle to his room. His eyes meet mine. I don't know what exactly I see in his eyes in those milliseconds before he smiles.

"Go on without me. Have fun~"

...

It pains me when his door closes without another word.

...

"Coming?" Yuusuke asks again.

His face is contorted into something of confusion and maybe a bit of concern too.

"Yeah, okay. I'm coming."

He hasn't changed since we were kids. He's still the same boy who waved goodbye whenever friends invited me and excluded him. His face has changed. He's grown. But he's Makoto Takahashi. The same Makoto Takahashi. Shy. Just trapped in another body.

MAKOTO

"Damn!" I lay my face on the cool wood of my desk. "What the hell am I doing here?"

I glance at the lab report flickering on my old laptop screen.

Even if I wanted to work on this report, it'd be useless. I can't think about work right now. I can't help but picture what those guys… Around her… What they're doing right now.

My pencil cup falls to the ground with a clatter when I get up slamming my palms on my desk.

Damn it… Why does... Why does loving her have to be so hard…

EMA

"Strawberry cake!" Wataru crows. "I love cakey, cakey, cakey~!" The child sings as Masaomi begins dishing out slices of Ukyo's made-from-scratch strawberry cake.

Ukyo's cooking is world class and my mouth is already watering just at the sight.

"Now Wataru, our guest should get the first slice, isn't that right?" Masaomi calmly pats Wataru's fluffy, cream-colored hair.

"Right!" He obediently passes the first slice to me.

My hands accept the cake somehow but I can't move my eyes from Masaomi.

When our eyes lock, he smiles with such warmth– I can't look away. There's something in the depths of those dark irises that's so mysterious… so subtly alluring… And so… warm.

But there's a knot in my stomach. You know how hoses sometimes get kinks? And all that water is getting backed up somewhere? Well in this case, it's not a hose, it's your stomach. Or rather, in your heart. And all that water is all that pressure. All those feelings you can't put to words.

I want to love him. But my emotions are caught in that knot… That knot tied by Makoto.

I tug my attention away from him and look at the cake on my lap.

...

This looks so good!...

"Aw, Masa-nii, I want Ema to look at me like that too," I look up to see the white haired twin wearing a pout on his lips.

Huh?

"Won't you look at me?" Tsubaki hums, whisking my hand into his. "Just for a moment, 'kay?" With a tug we are almost nose to nose.

So close! I can smell the cologne at his neck. Feel his breath fall on my tongue.

"I heard from a fortune teller today that–"

THWACK! Azusa, the other twin swats the white haired one with what looks like a rolled up newspaper. "Stop that, you're making her uncomfortable."

A true angel. I hope the look I give Azusa shows my thanks.

NATSUME

My brothers are such trouble.

I pop the lid off my thermos and take a sip. What's the big idea. She's nice. But what woman wants to be constantly pestered by a bunch of guys. Much less a bunch of guys that are all brothers.

"Ah- you have a little piece of cake on your face."

I nearly choke on my water.

Kaname tilts her by the chin… His face nearing hers… "I'll get it for you."

He opens his mouth, ready to swipe the crumb away with his tongue. "Stay still for a second."

Geez Kaname is an animal.

Ema closes her eyes, tightly, "It's okay,that'snotnecessary, I'llgetit!" She scrambles for the napkin on her lap.

What the hell does he think he's doing?

EMA

"Stop." His voice cuts through the taut silence. "Stop, Kaname."

My heart pounds in the back of my throat. It's panic and relief all at once.

"Oh? What's wrong, brother?" There's that familiar glint of mischief in his eyes and I'd be stupid to trust anything about him. It's that look from before. That same look from when I first met him. That mouth that began for trouble smirks mischievously. In a flash, he pulls my arm to his chest making me fall into his lap, my back against his chest.

I would push back but I think my limbs just turned into jello.

Masaomi's clenched fist is suddenly around the collar of Kaname's shirt.

"Don't do things that make our guest uncomfortable. You're all acting like animals, rather than gentlemen. I'd like to believe we've been raised better." There's a bite to Masaomi's words. I've never heard him speak so sharply. Much less with one of his own brothers.

KANAME

Masaomi hasn't fought with me since we were in high school.

When he looks like that, he loses his dad look. He looks weak nowadays. I can't help but let a chuckle slip out, "I'd really begun to think you'd grown soft Nii-chan…"

"What does that even matter if the pen is truly stronger than the sword?" He shoots back and for once, it catches me completely off guard. The Masaomi we know doesn't fly off the handle like that.

This… girl? For her?

I swat his hand from my shirt. "You're right, I forgot my manners. Sorry."

Of course, If I actually meant that... That would only make me a fool.

EMA

"Sorry." His coffee eyes widen a bit as he looks at me but quickly lowers his gaze. "Um… here." He passes me a folded tissue. "...For your face."

"I don't think you're one to talk either, Masaomi." Natsume is the first to break the stillness in the aftermath of the battle as he smirks, setting down his thermos on the picnic blanket.

"Pfffhahaha!" Tsubaki laughs, "Yeah, Masa-nii! I've never seen your face look like that!"

"You should have seen your own face," his twin comments under his breath.

I'm thankful for the return of the light atmosphere. Their laughter. Their smiling faces. It feels like family. It has such a warmth and familiarity.

"Masa-nii's face looked so scccccaryyyy!" Wataru giggles.

I…

I….

I want to be a part of this family.

...

"Well, I should be on my way,"I sigh. "It was an amazing picnic, thanks for inviting me, the food was great!"

"Come and visit again, onee-chan!" Wataru chimes as he swings his arms around me.

Onee-chan? Wataru's so cute! I really do wish I had a little brother like him!

"Hey, I'll walk you back to your apartment," Masaomi bumps my shoulder lightly with his own, tucking his hands in his back pockets.

That grin… his mannerisms. Something about everything- his smile. His genuine smile.

Soon enough we're on our way down the way towards Mako and I… our place.

And my heart…

Why is it sinking?

Masaomi swings an arm out beside him, offering his palm, "This alright?" He asks nervously, biting his lip.

He's…offering his hand… to hold?!

"Uhm, yeah, this is fine." I find myself slipping my fingers over his palm on the way to finding them interlaced with his.

He's so warm. So radiant. Everything is so safe and easy and familiar even though I've never held his hand. Things are just so easy with Masaomi, he's the kind of person…

That makes you never want to let go.

What a dangerous thought.

When I feel such... loyalty to Makoto...

How can I think that?!

Heat seems to seep my cheeks and neck and soon I fall a pace behind. How is it that I don't want to let go? How is it that I feel like I'm betraying Mako…

Isn't this how I learn… learn to forget… learn to find happiness with another… learn to give up what's impossible…

But is it all just my sorry excuse?

"Everything okay Ema?" Masaomi's face levels with mine. "Are you feeling okay? We're almost to your place."

No… Of course I'm not fine.

MASAOMI

I hear how close to tears she is when she sighs, "Yeah… yeah... I'm just fine." She says that but her voice aches in an invoiced sob.

She seems to know that I don't believe her words any more than she believes them herself.

"I don't want to lose the only friend I've ever had..." tears begin to stream down her face. "He... He's been here for me through everything..." Her voice shatters and I see her jaw tighten as she bites back giving voice to her tears.

I bend down to look in her eyes, "Surely they can't be lost if they loved and supported you through everything. If they truly are your only friend, that's something very special. A very special bond that can't be broken."

Does she mean...? Him? She truly cares for him... More than he realizes. Maybe even more than she realizes herself.

I look at the small hand held in my own. "Would it bother your friend that I'm near you?... Holding your hand, I mean." I practically choke on my own words.

I can't stand it. The sight of her crying. For Makoto... Even when he's causing her so much pain… He's being so selfish.

What can I possibly say to heal?

To take away her pain...?

EMA

"Just please don't cry anymore." He pulls me in with an arm wrapped tightly around at my waist. His touch is gentle as he pushes the stray strands of hair from my eyes and secures them behind my ear. I feel the warmth of that hand as it continues trailing it down my chin.

I don't cry in front of others.

I want to hide my tear-soaked face. My red eyes.

Hide it from him. From the world.

"Please don't… stop... Please just..." the warmth of his thumb traces a faint path along my bottom lip. "Ema…"

I feel like I could drown in the melancholy of his tone.

"You're not alone…"

When he says those words, I want nothing more than to be wrapped in his embrace.

To feel his closeness as if we were the only two people in the world.

MASAOMI

Her deep forest eyes widen as I near, but she doesn't flinch, doesn't push me away.

I don't want to lose you.

Not to him.

Not to anyone.

A final tear descends as my lips glide over hers. Her soft warm breath mingles with mine.

EMA

A half-empty cola clatters sharply against the pavement, shattering the quiet.

I look across the street at the figure. And my stomach lurches so far into my throat I feel like I'm about to puke.

He's standing there. His mouth hung agape with shock resting on his tongue, his hand still falling in the shape where the can had been.

When he finally finds his words, they tremble and shake.

"So that's how it is then?" Makoto can't even bear to meet my eyes to see me shaking my head.

My voice catches in the back of my throat. My hand, caught in a time freeze, perpetually reaching out to him.

W-Wait...

"I see… Look, don't worry. I get the message... loud and clear." He turns on his heel and heads back towards the apartment complex.

He doesn't look back and I fear that I may never again see the golden glint in those stormy irises looking into mine.

...

I fear someone else will see what I had.

And I fear someone else will see what I love about him.

That those familiar eyes will look into another's and crinkle as he smiles at her...

I would see my selfishness as impalpable if not for the horrible, horrible...

Jealousy...?