Back in black, I hit the sack!
I've been too long, I'm glad to be back!

Bess held the radio in her arms, just so happy to be able to communicate again. Jay and Silent Bob helped pay for it, seeing it was Jay's fault she needed a new one in the first place.

"Alright, we get it", Jay said. "What do we do now?"

I want candy!

Bess and Silent Bob both smiled at this. It was still early and they could use some breakfast. Jay shook his head at the two of them.

"Keep it up and you'll be as fat as tubby here", he gestured to Silent Bob.

Bess looked at the larger man, feeling a little concerned. Why did he put up with all of Jay's mean nicknames? Half of them sounded like stuff her father would say to her. She almost had to wonder if any of it bothered Silent Bob.

Bess watched him shaking his head, waving it off. The two had literally known each other all their lives. Nothing Jay said bothered Silent Bob anymore.

The three of them began walking to the food court before Bess stopped. Right next to them was a pet shop that had the cutest animals right at the glass windows. Gerbils, kittens, and so on. She just had to go inside and pet one of them. If only her father would allow her to buy one. Jay and Silent Bob looked at Bess who was practically glued to the glass. Looked like she was going to be kept occupied for a while.

Jay took the radio and started playing music. He needed something to do while Bess gushed over the kittens. With the music blaring over the speakers, he started dancing, making Silent Bob roll his eyes. Trying to keep himself entertained, the larger man pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. Silent Bob looked at the cigarette in his hand and concentrated as hard as he could, trying to make it move.

"Knock it off!" Jay slapped it out of his hand.

He shook his head, thinking his big friend was making an ass out of himself. The stoner turned, banging his fists on the glass, startling Bess and the kittens.

"Kitty, kitty, kitty!"

"Hey, Jay!"

Two guys approached them, one in a brown coat, happy to see them, the other looking all mopey. Brodie Bruce and TS Quint.

"Brodie, man!" Jay smirked, giving nudges as their secret handshake. "Noochie, noochies! Yo, you probably haven't met Bess yet. She's Silent Bob's new girlfriend."

Bess and Silent Bob looked at the newcomers with wide eyes and visible blushes on their cheeks. Trying to distract himself from this embarrassment, he pulled another cigarette out of his pocket and went back to concentrating.

"What's he doing?" TS asked as they looked at Silent Bob.

"Shithead here watched Empire and Jedi last week", Jay began explaining. "Ever since, he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick. Crazy fuck thinks he'll levitate things with his thoughts. Knock it off!"

He slapped the cigarette out of Silent Bob's hand again.

"The Force is strong with this one", Brodie smiled, seeing him pull out another cigarette to try again.

"Dude, don't encourage him", Jay shook his head.

"I was just telling TS here, we need to find Jay and Silent Bob. If there's anyone that can help us out, it's the two guys that have even less to do than us."

"What is this shit, man?" he asked confused. "Everyone is looking for us today. We're ducking Tricia cause she wants to talk to Obi-Wan about her video setup."

"Why him?" Brodie asked.

"Silent Bob's an electrical genius. He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player with some chicken wire and shit. Motherfucker's like MacGyver, no he's better than MacGyver!"

Bess looked at Silent Bob with even more respect than before. So, not only was he a sweet guy, he was also smart! She continued watching him concentrating on the cigarette before Jay slapped it out of his hand.

"We need you to embark on a little sabotage mission on behalf of TS' love life", Brodie explained.

Excited for the first time all day, the dynamic duo began air guitaring, happy that they were going to be having even more fun today. Even Bess looked happy to be in on the fun, gently bouncing on her feet to get herself hyped.

"You know about this game show thing they got going on here?" Brodie started. "We need you guys to somehow ensure that it doesn't happen."

"Is that it?" Jay asked disappointed. "We were going to do that anyway."

"Really? Why?"

"What else are we going to do? Silent Bob stole the schematic of the stage frim some foolish carpenter and found a weakness just like the fucking Death Star."

Silent Bob reached into his coat, pulling out the stolen plans to show just what Jay was talking about.

"He figures you pull this crossbeam out, fucking bickety-bam! The whole stage comes crashing down."

Bess smiled, jumping up and down excited. She had always followed rules all her life. This was the first time the mute girl was going to get involved in vandalism of any sort.

"Only problem is LaFours", Jay brought up.

"Who's LaFours?" Brodie asked.

"LaFours is only the most feared security guard in the business, man. 240 collars, all convicted. I hear he's even got two kills."

Jay pointed to the tall security guard on the ground floor. The same serious one they saw coming into the mall. Straw hat and all, still failing to crack a smile for anyone.

"Holy shit!" Brodie smirked. "I never thought I'd see the day when two such highly reputable mischief-makers as yourselves douse their drawers at the sight of a mall security guard."

"Shit, bitch we're going to bust that stage like a high school kegger", Jay said trying to hype the group. "We're just going to outwit LaFours, X-Men style."

"Should I call you Logan, weapon X?"

"No, Wolverine! Snickety, snickety, snoime!"

Everyone watched amused as he got into character, waving his fists around like said comic book hero. This was going to be so good!

"Alright, guys", Brodie said. "You have your mission. Go forth, wreak havoc."

Ready to work, Jay had one last thing to do. He knocked on the window, gently this time.

"Bye, baby kitties."

He frowned, seeing Silent Bob just standing there, smoking like a chimney with a fresh cigarette. Shoving his shoulder, the blonde turned back to the window.

"Dang, Silent Bob", he said. "Show some heart."

The large man really didn't care for cats. He was more of a dog person. Silent Bob looked at Bess who was giving kisses to the kittens. Wanting to satisfy everyone, he turned to the window, gently tapping his fingers against the glass.

"Pss, pss, pss", he whispered through his teeth.

"That's better", Jay said. "We're on the job."