Genres/Rating: Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Friendship. (T)
Characters: Mercedes, Felix, Warin, Rodrigue.
Summary: Wherever she went, regardless of the day's intentions, Mercedes ran into things she either was never meant to see, or troubles that needed her aid, even if it was unasked for. She was a healer born and bred, and to delay her own schedule for others came naturally to her, but sometimes she wondered if she was taking on too much of a burden. A lost orphan, her professor's scarred and misunderstood brother, and Felix's father... All in a row, all too much for her to handle by herself, yet she never shrunk away from it. She wanted to help, it was in her very blood, and when she found herself stumbling... She knew exactly who she needed to reach for.
Pegasus Moon
Garreg Mach Halls
Noontime
Mercedes was well and truly vexed as she stood at the entrance to the halls, her hands on her hips as she surveyed her surroundings thoughtfully... The problem that had been thrust on her shoulders was not exactly one she was certain she could solve, if only due to her inexperience, but she was more than willing to try to offer aid to the young woman who had come begging for it the moment she had seen her passing through on her way to the chapel. Mercedes had been glad to put aside her own obligations when she had seen the worried and fearful look on Dorothea's face, and once the situation had been explained to her, she could well understand why the former Black Eagle was so worried.
One of her children had simply disappeared and never returned from playtime for lunch with the rest of her friends, and none of the other monastery children had seen hide nor hair of her since they had all left their studies to play. Though there was no doubt she was still on monastery grounds, it didn't make Dorothea any more comfortable to know that one of her wards had wandered off somewhere. Garreg Mach was still undergoing repairs, and many of the worse areas hadn't been properly sealed off to prevent a child's curiosity and their desire to explore. It was very likely she could get herself injured if she wandered off too far, or into the wrong place, and though Dorothea had already enlisted a handful of helpers from the church, she still was asking every person who passed by to keep their eyes out.
Mercedes was glad to join in the search, as the chapel certainly was not going anywhere, nor was the goddess, and delaying her prayers to find a missing child was certainly a valid reason to put off her usual habits. Though it had been a little more difficult in wrangling Felix into the hunt, as he had been accompanying her to the chapel before his usual training exercises. The swordsman had not been interested whatsoever in lending his hand to the search, and Mercedes had been forced to cajole him into entertaining the idea. It wasn't surprising that he didn't much care, as it didn't involve him personally and was cutting into his time in the training grounds, but Mercedes hadn't been about to permit him to use either of those things as an excuse.
"She's just a little girl, Felix. She may be scared, or hurt." Mercedes tried to hide her disappointment in hearing him brush aside the concern so callously, even if it didn't quite surprise her. Very few things were as important to him as training, especially in these days, and usually she was wise enough to pick her battles and permit him to do as he liked without trying to change his mind. Now, however was not the right time to cede to good manners, especially when a child's welfare was at stake. As much as she doubted her ability to find one little girl in the entirety of Garreg Mach all on her own, she certainly was not about to simply brush it aside for someone else to do. It simply was not in her nature... and she didn't believe it was truly in Felix's, either. "Surely your training can wait just until she's found, can't it?"
"Doesn't this monastery have more important things to attend to than chasing after orphaned children? Children, who by the way, shouldn't even be here?" Felix shook his head as his fingers impatiently drummed a tattoo into the hilt of the sword that was hanging from his belt. His father's gift upon his joining up with their forces was one he wanted to learn as quickly as he possibly could, and every moment he wasn't training with it was a moment wasted. It didn't help that he still didn't understand what his professor had been thinking, permitting a lot of orphaned children to find shelter in Garreg Mach in the first place, but he already knew it wasn't for him to argue against. She had made it very clear that this was one decision no one was about to argue on, and not a soul had the courage try and debate with her after that particular challenge, and that included him. He valued his neck more than he valued his right to speak venom whenever he felt it pertinent.
However, his professor was not here to overhear him, and that loosened his lips. It didn't matter that he knew full well Mercedes was completely behind her decision, either. He still saw no sense in it, and he didn't care for the idea of "charity". There were already lives at stake, and a clear conscience meant nothing to him if it meant taking on more risks for no gain. That sort of behaviour wouldn't sharpen his blade properly. It only made it all the more likely for it to break, and that showed in his voice as he muttered mostly under his breath, "It's a base for the rebellion, not an orphanage. I don't know what the professor was thinking, accepting this lot in..."
"She was thinking that even if this was the base for the rebellion that Garreg Mach could not afford to forget its roots. Nor could the Church of Seiros." Mercedes reminded him patiently, and she felt her heart warm at her professor's efforts to remind the soldiers, and former students, of what was truly at risk even as they fought what looked to be an impossible fight. The war effort was more than just sending the able-bodied and battle-ready to the frontlines to fight... and her professor knew it, even if others did not, or could not see that clearly. "Peace, learning, and charity... They are all tenants of the teachings of the goddess. Even in wartime, they cannot be forgotten."
"Peace, learning, and charity won't save your life when you're fighting." Felix pointed out with a raised eyebrow, but his voice only held the faintest hint of his usual vitriol. It was different, arguing with Mercedes about war, as he had come to learn quickly during their student days. She was an idealist, and deeply devout and empathetic, which were all foreign concepts for him to act on. At first he had considered her naive, and relatively annoying at that, but her had been drawn to her all the same. Her warmth was comforting. Her accepting attitude, even in the face of his worst, had stirred up guilt rather than making him feeling defensive. She had thrown herself all-too-happily into blows meant for him in those days, simply stating it was what she wished to do, even if she knew she was not a fighter as he was.
No, she was a healer at her core, on and off of the battlefield, which meant she needed a guardian to protect her from herself. It had been with annoyance that he had taken on that role to repay his debt, minding her on the field while he swung his sword, and now he could not feel at ease unless he was sure he knew where she was at all times during the fighting. He knew it wrong. She was capable, far more capable than she looked with both a bow and magic in hand, but she was still prone to acting first and thinking later when it came to those in need. Not so much a stupid motive, as her kindness was absolutely pure, but it made him worry sometimes that she'd lose sight of the true goal and one day earn an injury even the best of them, which had always been her, couldn't heal. It made his voice sharp, but not with anger, as he pointed out, "And as nice as it is, filling up the monastery with children who need homes, it puts a strain on our resources. Professor has to know that, but she took them all in anyway. And a former Black Eagle at that, to boot. It's like she wants the boar to lose what little mind he has left."
Mercedes winced, but decided it was best she not remark on the fact that Dimitri was vocally against the Imperial citizens taking refuge in Garreg Mach. He had been overruled, as their professor had put her foot firmly down, and with Seteth and Gilbert's support, had made any argument towards her choice moot. The orphans had been moved in, and were to be undisturbed. Dorothea would not be joining them in fighting, and instead would handle minor tasks and relief work inside of the monastery to "earn her keep". It was clear Raine didn't believe she needed to do such a thing as a refugee, but she saw the need to give Dorothea further protection from any possible assaults on her motives, and it saddened Mercedes greatly to think that acts of charity had to be scrutinized so. "The professor made her decision, and she made it very clear that she won't permit arguing over it. I doubt even His Highness will test her as she is right now... and all that aside, it still leaves a little girl lost in the monastery. Even should we debate all day, she will not disappear. I am going to find her. Will you look with me?"
"I don't have time to waste tracking children. I have to train." Felix repeated bluntly as he turned his face back towards the training grounds, but he didn't need to look at the blond beside him to know she was disappointed with him. Normally, such a thing wouldn't bother him. He'd grown quite used to being a disappointment. A second. A replacement. But Mercedes didn't look at him that way, despite their initial misunderstandings, and disappointing her left him stinging in a way no one else could manage. She made him feel guilt in a way few people could dredge up, and it both annoyed him, and left him wondering why she was so damned capable of manipulating him to her own ends without making him even consider turning on her for it. Perhaps he was a glutton for punishment. Perhaps it was training, learning to deal with people that he normally would consider foolish, but were truly wise... Or perhaps he was just too afraid to lash out and hurt her again, because that sad, meek look she wore when he turned on her in anger and spite had struck him more keenly than an arrowhead in the heart.
She was giving him that same look again, he could see it from the corner of his eye, and it irritated him. He hated when she did that, and he was glad she didn't do it often. She knew how to work him, yes, but she never pushed him beyond his level of comfort. When she had learned his father had joined their forces, she had been initially quite pleased for him, and had urged him to spend some time with the man. One curt "no" had been more than enough for her to realize she was treading on thin ice, and she had respectfully apologized and let the matter lie. It was that patience, that kindness and concern for his feelings, that made him soften, if only because he just couldn't stand seeing her look so damned upset whenever he even so much as raised his voice in anger or disgust. She thought him a good man, for reasons he couldn't fathom, but... She also made him want to be what she thought he was, if only because it wasn't a goal that had no merit to it.
"I'll look on my way to the training grounds, and I'll fill in any soldiers and knights as I go, then." Felix eventually let out the words in a sigh, and he wondered if he was going soft. The sight of her frown turning rapidly into a brilliant smile was a warming one, which heated his cheeks and made him abruptly start walking off for his goal. He hadn't done it because she asked. He was still going to train, but he could inform a handful of people of the search as he went. That was a token effort, and enough for her, wasn't it? He was doing what she wanted. She couldn't give him that look if he agreed to that much.
Two warm hands grasped his wrist and forced him abruptly to a halt, and Felix wondered errantly at her strength as she easily pulled him back towards her. However, that proved to mean nothing as those hands changed into a pair of warm arms, squeezing his own to her chest in a facsimile of an embrace she was obviously longing to give to him. His feet abruptly grew roots, pinning him as easily in place as a lance, and his breath and his heart caught at once as he felt her brush up against his side as she stood on tiptoe to press her lips against his cheek. Her voice was gentle and sweet, somehow both a balm and a wild irritant all at once when she murmured with one last, long squeeze, "Thank you, Felix."
"I'm only doing it because it's on the way!" Felix scrambled for an explanation as she let him go and stepped back demurely, but her eyes were sparkling and her smile was broad when he glanced at her. She knew exactly what she was doing and that he was lying, but he couldn't well argue without proving her right. Again she had beaten him, and she needed no weapon to do so. He was beginning to understand why Annette had always said Mercedes was likely the most dangerous out of all of them when she was pushed, even though he had scoffed at her five years prior. This healer was more than a match for him. Far more. Perhaps that was why he found it hard to breathe around her, especially when those gentle fingers pressed against his skin. "It's nothing special, and definitely not because I care about some little girl!"
"I know, but thank you all the same, Felix." Mercedes allowed as she tried to hide her smile from growing, and she said nothing else as Felix stormed off in the direction of the training grounds without further words. He was muttering under his breath as he went, his pace much faster than normal, but it didn't stop her from seeing the tips of his ears glowing red all the same. She had to stifle a little giggle, despite herself... Normally, she wouldn't have dared to be so bold...but he was too easy to tease, and far too easy to care for. He needed a little gentleness in his life, even if he didn't want it, or thought it was necessary. She was more than happy to provide for him, when he would let her, and such moments were becoming more and more frequent now. Even though it had been war, tragedy, that had brought them together again... She couldn't say she wasn't glad to be back at Garreg Mach.
Mercedes shook her head roughly, bringing herself abruptly back to the present and out of that pleasant lingering of thought that was distracting her from the task at hand. She hadn't seen Felix since, but she knew he had kept to his word as she had seen several knights poking about while on patrol, clearly on the lookout as they went about their business. It was a happy reminder, and one that warmed her face despite it all. She knew it was selfish, indulging in her own wants like this, but she couldn't quite help herself. He needed it... and frankly, she knew she needed it, too. It simply felt better, having someone to lean on, than it felt standing alone.
'Hmm... Alone...' The thought gave her pause, and she turned about to survey her surroundings with a new, sharp eye. The priory she had spent her last few years serving in hadn't had a shortage of orphaned children, but she hadn't been in charge of their care, then. Still, she had learned a few things about the little ones who had had their families torn apart by war, and that knowledge quickly made her realize she had been going about her search in all of the wrong ways. She had been looking in populated places, where business and a constant stream of people could disguise the presence of one little girl, but that was obviously not helping. She hadn't thought from the perspective of a child. 'How often did we find one or two of those little ones hiding away in the chapel because something frightened or upset them...? It's not mischief she's getting into. It must be something else. Or someone would have found her by now...'
Turning on her heel, Mercedes turned back for the sprawling expanse of the gardens, where she knew by experience with the orphans of Remire that there were plenty of hiding places for the young and eager. The great hall and dormitories were too busy to have any good places to hide away properly, but the same couldn't be said outside of the hallways. How often had she and Annette been roped into playing hide-and-seek with the orphans, finding that those little village children were brilliant in finding the tiniest of alcoves to wedge themselves into in order to escape being found?
"Why didn't I think of that earlier...?" Mercedes murmured with annoyance as she hurried back into the daylight, casting a new eye about as she rushed along the paths towards the gazebo and tree-lined walkways. She knew though, despite herself, why she hadn't considered such an easy solution, and it made her chest ache. She had become hardened over these past few years, as much as she had tried to devote herself to healing and prayer. She had never forgotten her archery, or her magic, and when the Kingdom had fallen, she had joined the ranks of those trying to rebel for their freedom. She had fought instead of fleeing, had summoned up her courage and her training, and refused to be anything less than the soldier her professor had made her into. Those carefree days of learning were far behind her now, no matter how much she wished she could go back to them... and that experience had made her forget what a child's mind, a child's innocence, could lead to.
A small, sad smile played at her lips as she continued to cast a wary eye about herself, glancing at each alcove, at each tree, for signs of a child hiding themselves away... Her thoughts continued to run wild, despite her duties, and she wondered at her professor and her wisdom. Indeed, Mercedes realized that she had forgotten, but it was clear that their professor had not. Why else would she make such a passionate case for Dorothea and her children to be housed inside of Garreg Mach, despite the clear risk and drain on their resources? She wanted to remind her men, all of the men, of what they were really fighting for. Of what they had forgotten, in the past five years of continuous, agonizing warfare. The denizens of the Kingdom had not been the only ones to lose everything. Someone, somewhere, had lost something... and it was their duty, as rebels, as knights and priests and nuns... to remember the common good was their true goal, and not simple vengeance.
'She hasn't changed at all... It makes me really believe that she hasn't been awake for these past five years... She's just as she was, before the fall of the monastery... Sad, but understanding... Seeing everything as a whole, and no longer only what lay in front of her...' Mercedes winced, reminded of those sad, distant looks she had caught on her professor's face sometimes during their lessons when she thought her students were too busy to see her. How often had her gaze drifted out the window, pained and longing, for the graveyard where Captain Jeralt was buried? Vengeance hadn't satisfied her. It had given her nothing. She was still without her father, still empty and grieving and torn apart with guilt, and that lesson was still fresh in her mind.
'A lesson she's dearly wishing to impart on all of us, despite it all... She may be our commander now, but she still remains our professor...' Mercedes took in a deep breath as she forced her feet to still as that pain in her chest threatened to overwhelm her for a moment. It was empathy at its purest, reminding her of what her professor had lost, and was struggling with, despite her best attempts to seem otherwise. She had taken on the mantle of command, had put herself at odds with His Highness, and was doing it all without flinching or showing how unsettled she truly was... but Mercedes knew better. She was in pain, deep, true pain, and she was not asking for help when she needed it the most. She didn't want to rely on them, because she had not lived for five years in war. They had suffered enough. She could hold the burden herself.
Her eyes burned, and angrily Mercedes brushed a hand over them to stop the tears from forming before they could fall. It was not fair of her to feel such sadness, or guilt. Not when others were suffering. Was that not why she had turned to the healing arts in the first place? To stop pain? To heal hurts that others simply could not? She had failed too many times in the past... She had promised herself she would not fail again. First with Emile, then with her professor, and Annette... Now she was determined to right her wrongs. She had repaired her relationship with her beloved friend. She had found her professor again. She would find her brother and bring him home... and she would help Felix, as much as he would allow her, because she needed to see him smile. She was tired of failure. Tired of war and pain... She needed to give love, as much as she needed to receive it.
The thought and resolve stiffened her spine, and she took in a deep, cleansing breath before she readied herself to begin again... only to find herself pausing as she caught sight of a familiar back, partially hidden by an alcove that she knew was filled with crates of supplies and the odd wandering stray cat. She hesitated as that familiar head of navy hair tilted to the side, and she bit her lower lip as curiosity got the better of her and forced her to approach in silence. It was strange to see her professor's elder brother in the gardens, and she knew for a fact he was not the type to spend his days off indulging in leisure. He was like Felix in that, preferring to train either his mind or his body in his every spare moment, and she had often found him in the library, pouring over books, if he was not on the training grounds, lance in hand and gauntlets affixed to his wrists.
Now, though, Warin was kneeling down with his back to the garden, clearly occupied by whatever it was he had found amongst the crates, and Mercedes crept closer in silence to see what it was he was doing. She halted in her tracks as she managed to sneak a glimpse over his broad shoulder, and confusion, amusement, and relief flooded her all at once as she realized he had managed to beat her out. A young girl was curled up against the far wall, sniffling and crying softly out of Warin's reach and cleverly hidden behind the crates, and she matched the exact description Dorothea had given her. The scarred mercenary had found her first, and was clearly trying to coax her out of her hiding place to rejoin the others now that he had.
Mercedes bit her lip as she felt the automatic urge to offer aid, and with great self-control she kept herself silent as she stepped to the side and instead listened intently to Warin's voice. His tone was quiet and gentle, surprisingly so, and she wondered at the kindness in his voice. He had never struck her as a rude man despite his blunt words and tone, and she had never once feared him as she knew some of her classmates did. Their professor trusted him implicitly, and had often spoken of the fact that he was a much more complicated man than he looked, and Mercedes had believed her at once. She didn't need evidence. Warin's presence in the monastery alone was enough for her. He lived and breathed for his family, for his sister, and even if his demeanour was brusque and somewhat detached... That did not mean he was devoid of kindness.
She saw that now as she listened to Warin's gently coaxing voice, speaking softly to the crying girl as he knelt at her level to make himself as non-threatening as he possibly could. He knew his appearance was intimidating, knew his scars and weaponry could frighten off a grown adult, let alone a child, and so he worked to make himself look approachable without delay. There wasn't a hint of pride in his manner whatsoever, proof that he only cared about the girl in front of him, and that showed, too, in his voice as Mercedes listened in closely to catch their conversation, "It's all right to feel upset, and sad... Being different can be difficult... but that doesn't mean you're any less than your friends."
"They said I'm ugly. And scary..."
Mercedes flinched at the tear-filled voice that replied, and she immediately remembered what Dorothea had told her about the young one's appearance. She was a victim of one of the border villages, one that had tried to resist the Empire's stranglehold when it had first begun seizing territory in the west. Like any and all of those who had opposed the Imperial troops, they had been met with ferocious and devastating force as a sign of what was to come to future territory who would not lay down their arms and join with the Empire willingly. The entirety of this girl's home had been burnt to ashes, and it been with quiet, painful words that Dorothea had explained that the little girl had suffered horrible burns on her hands and arms from her desperate attempts to dig herself out of her home when it had been set alight. And she had been one of the lucky ones, a survivor, but it made sense that those scars were not a point of pride for her. She was still young, and children could be cruel.
"Your hands are beautiful. Scars and all. They don't take away from you." Warin's reply came smoothly, easily, and Mercedes watched closely as the sobbing little child looked at him sharply, disbelief shining in her tear-filled eyes. It was clear she had been a victim of bullying as well as the war, and nothing Warin was saying was new to her. It had been likely Dorothea had tried similar tactics, only to have her work undone by the children forcing her out because of her disfigurements, but Warin was quick to interrupt the little one's reply as he held out his own hands to show her his scarred palms and knuckles when he spoke, "You see? I'm just like you. I have a lot of scars, too. I understand how it can look to people who don't know what it's like. They think I'm scary, and ugly, too."
Mercedes bit her lip, and wondered. Warin spoke so calmly, not permitting hurt or disappointment to colour his voice in order to not upset the girl, but it didn't make her ache any less for him. Of course he knew how his sister's students viewed him. How almost everyone had to view him. Had not almost everyone, to a man, looked at him like he was some sort of beast when he had returned to the monastery after having spent five years playing dead to avoid the Empire's hunts? He was a patchwork of scars, and bore cold, distant eyes in response to the trauma of fighting without pause for his life for all of that time, and it had made everyone wary of him. He had discarded their causes, discarded any care of the war and those it affected, because he, too, had been discarded by everyone else. He fought for his sister and her ideals and nothing else, and he didn't care who knew it, or how they judged him. He was a mercenary, no longer bound by the archbishop, and he was through with playing the charade of an obedient soldier.
Yet... There he was, hands extended to show a crying orphaned child that he understood her pain intimately in an effort to reach out to her. Kindness no one would have expected, or even dared to think him capable of. It made her chest hurt with the injustice of it all. If only his worst detractors could see him now. How dare the knights call him soulless? Incapable of loyalty, or love? They knew nothing of him. But, she supposed with a wry smile, that neither had she. She had been surprised, hadn't she, when she had first seen him. She had crept in close to listen, wanting to see how he would handle the job of calming an upset child rather than stepping in herself... She was no better.
"You're different, but that doesn't make you scary. Sometimes it's just difficult for others to understand that being different can be a good thing. You're the same as all of the other children here. You just want to make friends, don't you?" Warin continued in that same quiet and gentle voice, not moving an inch forward lest he scared the little girl further and made her decide she wanted to flee. The risk was real as she was still sniffling quietly and huddled up against the corner, but for all her crying, she was intently fixed on everything the older man was saying. Somehow his words were reaching her, and he seemed to know it as he mused in a surprisingly kind tone, "You have friends already, you know. Dorothea is very worried about you, and she's been looking for you. She gathered everyone she knew to search. You're very precious to her. Your scars don't matter to her."
Another sniffle escaped the small child, and she rubbed at her yes at the mention of her caretaker and her concern. Guilt flickered across her young face, and she made a brave attempt to rub at her eyes as she sat a little taller in her hiding place. She obviously was far more bothered with knowing Dorothea was worrying over her than the bullying that had forced her away from the others, and though there was a slight hiccup to her voice, it still rang clear as a bell as she questioned furtively, "M-Miss Dorothea is worried?"
"Very. Do you want to come with me to see her? I'm sure it'd make her happy to know you're all right." Warin extended his hand just a little farther in offer, but did not move from where he was kneeling. He watched the little girl's bright blue eyes look from his neck, face, and to his hand rapidly, and her little chin bobbed as she swallowed down either a sob or a whimper. The fear and shame was still printed all over her face, and it only worsened when she glanced down at her own scarred hands again. The scars of her burns snaked their way across her fingers and palms in large, dark swathes, disappearing beneath her sleeves in what could only be worse evidence of her former injuries. Warin disregarded them entirely, saving his gaze for her face only as he continued calmly, "You don't need to come out right away if you aren't ready, though. I can stay with you, for as long as you'd like."
Mercedes watched as the girl struggled with the offer for what felt like forever, but in the end, she nodded her small head and pushed herself awkwardly to her feet to accept Warin's hand. He pulled her easily over the crates with her permission, settling her back on her feet in one smooth movement before turning her gently back in the direction of the mess hall where Dorothea was overseeing the search. The girl however reached again for his hand, squeezing it between her own before she looked up at him with shy expectancy. Warin offered her a crooked smile before he nodded, and he allowed her to lead him away, grasping his scarred, battered hand like a lifeline as a timid, but growing, smile crossed her face in answer to his accepting hold.
Warin said nothing, merely allowing her to pull him along towards the mess hall, but his keen eyes missed nothing as he spotted Mercedes watching them from a stone's throw away. The healer felt a shameful heat rush to her face as his navy gaze pierced her through like his lance, but there wasn't a hint of judgement or anger on his as their eyes met. Instead he merely offered her a cursory nod, turning back to the young one gripping his hand as she clung to him tightly. Mercedes held her breath, not daring to move or even blink until the odd couple disappeared around the corner and towards the mess hall, and she didn't doubt Dorothea would be a bundle of happy tears and gratitude when Warin showed up with the little girl who had been the cause of such stress these past several hours.
Mercedes folded her arms about herself as she let out a breath, and she wondered errantly if anyone, save Dorothea, would believe her when she explained how the crisis of the day had managed to have been solved. She doubted anyone really would, but the thought didn't matter to her overmuch. It was clear he had done some good and was happy to have done so, and the little girl he had helped would remember him and his words for a long time to come. She chuckled quietly to herself, wondering if his little sister at the least would understand, and also be amused if she was told what her brother had been up to on his precious day off. 'She said he was kinder than he looked, and sounded... I suppose this is just more evidence of that... I think it'll be wiser to keep it to myself, for a little while. I doubt he wants anyone to know he has a soft spot for children...'
The thought made her giggle a little bit more as she turned on her heel and allowed her feet to pull her away from the gardens in a thoughtless fashion. As detached as he wished to look... Mercedes was wise in the way of men who didn't want to interact with the world at large. Warin was not nearly as singular as he wished to look, and it was obvious that his heart had plenty of room to love with. The way he looked at his sister was proof enough of that, but Mercedes had seen similar looks passing between him and a certain Dagdan sniper, when the two believed that nobody was there to see it. It was subtle to anyone else, but Mercedes was too eagle-eyed to miss anything when she wanted to watch.
And she had seen much, in the passing moons, between both her old friends and comrades. War had brought them all together for a common cause, but it had also reignited old flames and interests, despite it all. Sylvain had become something of a buffoon whenever Ingrid was around, and to her eternal amusement, Ingrid was playing it off with a smile, and a hidden sort of glee shining deep in her eyes. Then there was Petra and Ashe, rarely apart and always finding excuses to be the ones to head into town for supplies or information, and even if Ashe was trying his best to be polite and courteous, it was quite obvious Petra's interests in him were far more intimate. Even Professors Hanneman and Manuela had seemed to soften about each other, even if their bickering had picked up in frequency. Their barbs were no longer pointed, and more often their comments came with smiles than scowls, but Mercedes wasn't about to watch those two for too long. Her friends were one thing, but she had more respect for the alumni of the monastery to put her nose into their personal affairs.
'I suppose if this war did one good thing... It brought us all back together. Even if it hadn't occurred... Maybe, we all would have come here as we promised we would, and picked off just as we left... Is that wrong of me to wish, I wonder...?' Mercedes allowed her thoughts to wander, and her fingers errantly reached to trace the polished stone walkways that she threaded her way through without much direction. It hurt, in a strangely bittersweet way, to imagine a life they could have had if Garreg Mach had not fallen, but she dearly wished for it all the same. Annette would not be in mourning with the knowledge that Dedue had lost his life in saving his king, and Dimitri would not have changed to the point where he was almost unrecognizable even to their dear professor. And their heartache was palpable, and it made Mercedes wish her powers of healing could reach past the flesh and to the spirit, even though she knew it foolish.
'I cannot return the dead to life... but I refuse to believe His Highness is yet beyond her grasp... If anyone can break through to him... It will be her. She will return him to how he used to be... I believe that. I must believe it. There's been too much heartache already... and still so much more to come. They need one another. We all do...'
The sounds of swordplay broke through her thoughts, and Mercedes realized with a bit of a jerk that she had absently found her way to the arena. She could hear Felix inside, the sounds of his exertion and his blade as clear as a bell on the silent eve, and abruptly a rush of heat flamed her face ruby. Like a moth to flame she had found her way to him again, and she bit her lower lip with both embarrassment and realization that despite her best efforts, she wasn't able to really reign herself in. Whenever her thoughts strayed she found herself near him, whenever her heart was aching she sought him out for comfort, and despite how much of an annoyance she had to be to the nobleman... He continued to allow her in, time and time again, when she had need of him most.
'Heh... Who is truly helping who, I wonder...?' Mercedes paused as she looked at the heavy doors and continued to listen in silence as Felix continued his training in ignorance of her presence just outside. He had left in a huff earlier, and he had cleaved to his word to spread the news of the missing girl, so she had no real reason to bother him. Interrupting him just to let him know that the lost child had been found would be unfair if he was absorbed in his drills. She took in a deep breath as she buried her own emotions, deciding it would be best to tend to them later before she turned back south and towards the dormitories. She wouldn't be a nuisance. She had done enough of that already.
"Pardon me, milady. Are you perhaps Miss von Bartels?"
"Matritz." Mercedes found herself correcting the mistaken last name she had discarded long ago when both she and her mother had left for the church, and abandoned the Bartel name along with their noble titles. She froze however as she turned and realized who it was she was addressing, and her face almost at once returned to a bright red shade as she understood she had not been the only one to have been listening in on Felix's intensive training. Swallowing down both her embarrassment and shame at her rudeness, she quickly bowed her head as she hurriedly apologized, "Oh, forgive me! I wasn't aware you were here, Lord Rodrigue! It's a force of a habit, you see, my mother and I changed our names many a year ago. Please excuse my rudeness."
"Please, please, there's no need for formality. And forgive me for addressing you improperly. I had thought I recognized you from my son's description, but I had forgotten your name entirely." Rodrigue's smile was easy as he waved away her apology, and Mercedes said nothing as she watched the warmth of his face closely. Despite their great differences in personality, Felix greatly resembled his father, especially when he showed his rare smile. The older lord bowed his head in return, his bearded face broadening in a warmer smile as he greeted her a little more carefully, "You are Mercedes, then, yes? The young lass my son spoke of?"
"I am." Mercedes nodded in assent, and she wondered at the fact that the lord of Fraldarius had bothered to remember her name, regardless of the fact that she and Felix had grown so close. It also made her marvel at the revelation that Felix had spoken of her to his father, especially considering the knowledge that the two of them were barely on speaking terms at the best of times. It was true that Felix had returned to his territory during the outbreak of the war, and had been fighting beside his father to defend his people from the Dukedom, but she hadn't assumed that he had ever spoken of her to him before. It made her cheeks redden and her stomach clench as she began somewhat hesitantly, awkwardly, as Rodrigue looked her over with careful, searching eyes, "F-Forgive me, but... Your son spoke of me?"
"Frequently, when we did speak, at any rate. I'm aware that he can be... boorish, at times, for lack of a better word, but he only ever spoke highly of you when he mentioned his time here at the academy. I believe you made quite an impression on him, if his eagerness to return to Garreg Mach at the date of the Millennium Festival is anything to go by." Rodrigue explained with a low chuckle, and he watched with those same sharp eyes that his son possessed as Mercedes bowed her head awkwardly in a futile attempt to hide the darkening red in her face. He was not surprised by her reaction, not with all he had pieced together over the past five years, but it amused him all the same to see it... Hadn't his son had the exact same look on his face, even when he was explaining hotly that he wasn't leaving for a "promise with a dead woman" but rather to make sure that someone didn't end up hurting themselves on the way to the monastery? It was very clear now who that someone was, and Rodrigue shook his head as he mused with another laugh, "I had been hoping to meet you, at least once, now that I and my men have joined with the rebellion's troops."
"I-I see... Felix is... a very good friend. I was glad to hear that he had been fighting alongside you, these past five years... and I was also glad to know that you were well, when Professor spoke of you and your allies joining our efforts." Mercedes chose her words carefully as she spoke, unsure of what exactly was proper to say when Felix was so close by, and his father was chatting with her so idly. It wasn't as if Felix had warned her to keep her distance from the man, and she doubted that he ever would issue such a command to her outright. He had said once and only once he wasn't interested in speaking much to him himself, and Mercedes hadn't wanted to push the issue. Now, however, she was treading on foreign territory, and she wished to both respect Felix and his father, but was unsure of how to do so as she murmured, "Felix was also relieved to see you had been doing well without him."
"I believed so, though he wouldn't ever say it aloud. My son always has much to say, but most often it is not to me. Still, that is my fault, and burden to bear as a father." Rodrigue nodded knowingly, and he watched as Mercedes offered him a small, shy smile at his words. It was a gesture of comfort, and Rodrigue was slightly surprised by how quickly and freely she was willing to give it to him. He was a stranger to her, yet she didn't hesitate to offer kind words or a smile, and he nodded to himself as he understood just how it had been her of all people who had managed to slide underneath his son's shields of sharp words, and even sharper actions. "Ah, but I forget my manners... I know that you know of me, but permit me to introduce myself. I am Lord Rodrigue, of Fraldarius. Felix is my son. I must thank you for taking care of him in my absence. I am aware that both you, and Professor Raine, have done much for him in your time in the academy, and now, in forming of the rebellion."
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lord Rodrigue... but I'm afraid I cannot accept your thanks. Our professor took care of all of us... Anything you see in Felix is due to her influence, and not my own." Mercedes shook her head as she offered a kind smile, and she wondered just what else Felix may have said to his father to make him think she had such an impact on his son. She knew it was her professor's doing, that the former mercenary had touched all of them in their single year underneath her guidance, and she refused to take credit for her effort. All of them stood there today because of her, and because of their own iron wills. "We were blessed to have her with us, that year. And we are again blessed that she returned to us, against all odds."
"Your professor is a very singular creature, that much is true..." Rodrigue agreed with a nod, and he touched his chin thoughtfully as he wondered on the woman he had only managed to have a handful of short conversations with. She had struck him as a strong-minded young thing, brave and loyal, yet also quite kind and empathetic, and he had seen her influence easily on both his son, as well as the young prince back in their student days. Now she had acquired a harder edge, the chains of commanding were a harsh burden to bear, but she wielded them willingly, and with an iron grasp. She took to the task as naturally as anything, but her kind spirit hadn't dampened. The fact that she had demanded that the orphans from the Empire be given sanctuary within Garreg Mach had been a divisive move, yet Rodrigue could not help but agree with her when she outlined her reasoning so fiercely. "However, I believe that contributing everything to her is doing you, and the rest of your classmates, a disservice. After all, it was alone that you all made your way here, was it not? That takes courage and will that only you can draw upon from yourselves."
"But we were inspired by the courage and will of another." Mercedes pointed out with a growing smile, and she saw from Rodrigue's second nod that he wasn't entirely unwilling to discredit her argument. It felt somewhat strange, sharing what was a casual chat with a nobleman who was far ahead of her in stature and in age, but Rodrigue didn't seem to think of her as any less than himself. His tone was courteous and his demeanour friendly, as if she was simply a friend he wanted to speak freely with, and she appreciated his frank kindness. It was different from any behaviour she had ever seen from a grown nobleman, but she certainly was not about to complain even if she wasn't entirely sure how to handle herself.
"Indeed you were... but I still will say that I believe it was you who inspired Felix, for the most part." Rodrigue once again gave her his agreement, but his eyes were twinkling with a youthful sort of merriment that made Mercedes feel even more heat cresting in her cheeks. Just how much had Felix spoken of her back in his home territory? And what had he said, to make his father look at her as if he knew everything without needing to ask such intrusive questions? It didn't matter, however, as Rodrigue seemed far too polite to make such inferences directly, and instead he only continued with a thoughtful nod, "Mind you, I will indeed give the professor credit where it is due. She has done very well by the Blue Lions, and by my son. I owe her my gratitude... but I also owe Felix's friends my thanks for standing by him when things were at the most dire. It has been a difficult time for all... Which means your influence on my son warrants all the more gratitude."
"Th-Thank you for saying so, Lord Rodrigue..." Mercedes looked at her feet, unable to hold that knowing, gently amused gaze that saw right through her and made her far too embarrassed and self-aware. She knew her own heart. She always had. But seeing that someone else knew it, too, and was not judging her lacking, but rather praising her actions and the emotions that had spurred them... She wasn't entirely sure whether it flattered or horrified her. She tried her best to shove it all down, at least for the moment as she reached for a safer topic blindly and asked, "Are you here to speak with your son?"
"No... I'm afraid that would be a waste of both of our times. It is difficult to get a word in edgewise with the boy when he has a sword in hand. I was merely passing by to see if he was well." Rodrigue's smile flickered, changing from gentle to sad and regretful, and Mercedes felt her heart throb in response to it. It was a look of a guilty and remorseful man, one who was aware he had stumbled, but also was aware that the time for forgiveness and reconciliation had long passed him by. It hurt her to see, for both him and for Felix, but she knew it was not her place to intervene. Felix had made his stance clear. She would not go against him. Thankfully, Rodrigue did not linger on the topic, but instead cast a glance about him at the knights who had resumed their post since he had last looked, and he waved a gloved hand idly as he remarked, "I had heard of a ruckus involving a lost girl, but it seems to have calmed down now. In fact, I had heard it from a passing knight, who had told me my son had informed him of the matter. I was ready to give my aid, as I had some spare time, but it seems I'm too late."
"Oh, yes... She was found, thankfully. I imagine she's with Dorothea again now, safe and sound." Mercedes fought a smile, and she thought longingly of Dorothea's commitment and her ability to love so freely and so warmly. She was a natural with her children, acting all the part as a mother hen, and Mercedes wondered if she would protest an additional hand in the work. She admitted she wanted to know more about their plights, to know more about how to lend her own aid, even if she was only a commoner and a healer, but she couldn't quite help herself. It was simply in her nature to want to provide and care for.
"Good. Those poor children don't need more fear in their lives, especially now that they are wards of the church. Your professor made a wise decision bringing them here and offering them shelter... It's a reminder of the old ways, that we've lost in our time as soldiers... Of our true goal, beyond the war..." Rodrigue remarked slowly, and Mercedes looked up to him sharply at the words that her professor had spoken when she had made the announcement of Dorothea and the orphans being welcomed refugees in the halls of Garreg Mach. She had stressed the importance of the gesture as a return of the Church's true function to give her decision weight amongst the most pragmatic, yet Rodrigue did not seem too bothered by that line of thought. His words were softer, gentler as he spoke of the children, and he shook his head as he sighed, "If, and when it ends, there will be many more of them to look after... It is wise to remember that the future we seek will not be an easy one to tread, if we find victory. Starting now is a firm reminder of the reality of this war, as well as a firm reminder to the church that the new hands on the reigns shall be much more tight."
Mercedes blinked, and this time she couldn't help herself as she turned slightly to take Rodrigue in with new eyes. She had heard the stories of the nobleman beside her. A ferocious fighter, a dear friend of the former king, and a keen tactician with a calm mind and a sharp wit. She did not know if he was devout, but she did know that he had always been welcome in the halls of Garreg Mach, and held tightly to his virtues as a knight. To hear him voice support so openly of the change of leadership within the Church of Seiros was of great interest to her, and she tilted her head slightly as she questioned as politely as she possibly could manage, "You support the professor's control of the Church of Seiros, then?"
"I am not sure I would go as far as to say that..." Rodrigue allowed after taking a long moment to drink in Mercedes' words, and appreciate her bluntness. Most would not have dared to ask him outright of his thoughts, especially of such a thing that still was a cause of great debate amongst the most devout of the church... but he supposed his position as a nobleman of the Kingdom allowed him to stand aside of those things. He chose his words carefully, understanding he was being studied, but also aware that the young woman's loyalty was to her professor first, and the church second when he spoke, "The direction she is pointing the church in is indeed one that is needed... Both pragmatically, and ideally. The church is greatly diminished with the loss of Archbishop Rhea, in both power and influence. To rebuild it from the ground up, following your professor's beliefs in charity, is not a thing anyone would really argue about in such times... but it is clear that this is not a duty that she is taking to willingly. She is not a believer, herself, even if she was personally appointed to lead the church by the Archbishop. That alone will cause rifts, as will the shifting of power... but that may change, when Archbishop Rhea returns. It seems clear that your professor does not intend to hold onto this power when the war ends."
Mercedes was silent, and she knew that Rodrigue spoke the truth. Her professor has no desire for power, and even less for leadership. She was only doing what she had to because the burden had been forced on her shoulders, and even then, she was doing her best to spread out the weight amongst her fellow commanders to prevent her from being made into a figurehead. She had no interest in the spiritual aspects of the Church of Seiros, and was merely acting pragmatically in order to cover her empathy. She would never have sent away Dorothea even if she was not in charge, but holding the power Rhea had given her and given her an opportunity to use it to her advantage to shift the focus of the Church of Seiros in a more favourable position. It was a gamble, for certain, but it was one the professor was willing to make if it meant doing good.
Rodrigue tilted his head slightly to the side, then hid a small, wry smile as he heard the sounds of swordplay behind the great doors to the arena beginning to slow. He had spent too much time dawdling there, wondering and hesitating, as always, but he supposed it had not been too much of a waste as he again glanced to the young woman standing next to him. He had been eager to meet her, this healer that had both vexed and charmed his son, and he was grateful that he had stumbled upon the chance. Still, he could not linger, even though he wished he could. Her presence was a balm, her kind wisdom a rare sight, and he understood full well why his son was drawn to her. He offered her a half-bow, forcing calm politeness to his voice as he began regretfully, "Ah, how the hour grows late... I've kept you too long. My apologies, my lady. I imagine you had your own deeds to be attending to before I interrupted you. If you see my son, please pass along my regards, if that would not trouble you overmuch."
"Oh, of course..." Mercedes shook her head to clear away her errant thoughts and brought herself back to the present, and she offered a curtsy in answer to Rodrigue's display of courtesy. She was still unsure what exactly it was this man made her feel, as she saw Felix in every inch despite their complete difference in demeanour, but she was well aware that was not something she could ever speak aloud. It was best she tread carefully regardless of his charming nature and kind words, as she was still a commoner at the end of the day, and he a distinguished knight and nobleman. The differences between them were far too vast to be bridged over a simple conversation and a connection to Felix, and she returned his smile with some effort as she replied gently, "Have a good day, Lord Rodrigue."
"And you as well, Lady Matritz. May we speak again soon. Perhaps over a cup of tea, next time." Rodrigue offered her another smile before he was turning about and making his departure back for the war room. He was well aware that the professor and Seteth were likely there again, embroiled in one of their long, serious discussions of the future of their army, as well as their next move. He had not come to Garreg Mach simply to provide and watch over the men he had given to the rebellion, and though he was not sure he was welcome, he still wished to give as much aid as they all were willing to take. It was what Lambert would have wished, and though his old friend was long gone, he had no plan to break his promise to the former king. He would take care of Dimitri, and those who valued him and were valued by him in return... Until the young prince was capable of remembering that the weight of the dead did not need to be cold and cruel.
Mercedes watched as Rodrigue left, chewing her bottom lip with a mixture of confusion and wonder at the offer he had left ringing in her ears. A cup of tea? With Felix's father? She could only imagine how outraged the swordsman would be if she dared to accept such a wild invitation. Yet, it also made her redden sharply with understanding that Rodrigue was very aware of the nature of her relationship with his son if he was making such kind overtures. It wasn't entirely an unpleasant thought, but it was a somewhat frightening one. She hadn't been thinking to the distant future, there was no real time for that, and she wasn't entirely sure she was ready to do so, either. That day seemed too distant, and too out of her reach. There was a war to fight, before she could even begin to think of a future in peace.
"If you stand there lost in thought for any longer, someone is going to end up having to pick you up off of the ground when you inevitably get knocked over."
"Felix!" Mercedes felt herself jolt right out of her skin at the swordsman's voice suddenly speaking just behind her, but as soon as she tried to turn around, two strong hands grasped her shoulders and held her immobile with impressive ease. She struggled only for a moment, confused, but when his fingers gave a warning squeeze, she stilled her movements at once. He was not gripping down tightly enough to hurt, only enough to keep her still, and she wondered if he had overheard her conversation, and was angry about it. The thought made her wince, and she looked guiltily at the ground as she asked after a long, tense moment of silence, "Did you... overhear?"
"I've no idea what he's up to, playing nice with you, but I suppose it doesn't matter. Ever since I came back from the academy, he was incessantly nagging over the people I had met. He took a special interest in you. I guessed he'd eventually track you down when he came here." Felix's voice was flat, but there was no edge of anger to it, nor to the hands that were still holding her firmly where she stood so she could not turn and see his expression. Rather, his hands seemed to gentle, and she felt him step closer to her before he continued on in that same, errant tone of voice, "But it doesn't matter. I don't dictate who you can and can't talk to. If you want to accept the old man's invitation for a cup of tea, that's your business. Now, why are you here? Did that little orphan girl get found?"
"Yes, she did." Mercedes answered immediately, and she had to hold herself back from leaning backwards into him as she felt the front of his chest brushing against the back of her dress. He was close... Too close. It wasn't like him to allow her to be that near unless she initiated, and he rarely was the one to step up first. He seemed to be content to let her lead the pace, if there was a pace to be led, but now she felt herself floundering uncertainly. He seemed dismissive of the fact that he had overheard her talking with Rodrigue, and instead wanted to know about her initial errands, and she knew her confusion was obvious in her voice when she explained somewhat hesitantly, "I... I'm not entirely sure why I came here, to be completely frank. I was lost in thought, and before I knew it, I... had walked myself here."
"Were you looking for me?"
Mercedes closed her eyes and fought a reflexive shiver as Felix's mouth came dangerously close to her ear when he asked her bluntly what she had been doing. The heat in her face travelled south quite abruptly, only making her more aware of those strong hands on her slim shoulders, and the weight and strength of him standing behind her. He had leaned in to prevent their bodies from touching, but that didn't matter overly much. When his breath touched her earlobe, she shivered and bit her lip, and the truth came out thoughtlessly even though she knew she shouldn't, "Yes. I was looking for you."
"You're too focussed on everyone else... It's high time you focus on yourself for a change." Felix turned her abruptly about, and Mercedes came stumbling at his strength and speed despite herself. He caught her effortlessly against his chest, with one arm winding tightly, supportively, about her waist before his other arm reached upwards and his hand caught her chin. He tilted her head up, his dark, adust eyes blazing as he gripped her chin tightly before leaning down, "You came looking for me. Let me give you what you wanted."
His mouth covered hers in a harsh, fierce kiss, and Mercedes heard herself gasp before even that was being swept away as his hand caressed her cheek and then moved to tangle itself in her hair. He was rough yet gentle, holding her close to him even as his tongue parted her lips to slide in to taste, caress, and claim. Against both her better judgement and sense, she felt herself leaning into his chest, hands grasping at the front of his cloak as her eyes fluttered closed against his sudden display of passion. This was new, new for the both of them, but he didn't seem at all unnerved or off-balance. Rather, he seemed oddly impatient, and it showed as his hands grasped down tighter on her svelte form, and his breath came ragged on her lips when he finally pulled back to ask her gruffly, "Was that enough?"
"E-Enough...?" Mercedes repeated his last word dizzily, unsure of his meaning as she glanced up at him through dazed eyes. Her fingers had curled themselves tightly into his cloak, and she doubted she could release her hold on him even if she wanted to. He was holding her too tightly to make it an option anyway, which only made her wonder what he meant, and what had spurred him to act in such a manner. It wasn't entirely unlike him, he was always frank and to the point, but this kind of intimacy was still new. He had accepted her chaste kisses before, and they had happened more than once, but this was different in a very new, and very pleasant way... but still, she didn't wish to misinterpret him, or have herself misinterpreted again when she asked breathlessly, "What do you mean?"
"You keep coming around me whenever you're getting tired of all the work you do. When you get worried, when you've had enough, but don't want to look it, or show anyone else. I noticed. You want to be selfish, but you don't know how to ask. You need to learn." Felix's explanation was blunt and brusque, but the look in his eyes had softened slightly, as had the hand that was cupping her face as she looked up at him in mute wonder. Her cheeks had turned the colour of rubies and she looked somehow both ashamed and thrilled by his words, which only made him all the more confident that he had chosen the correct course of action. "Let me make it clear, and be aware I'm only going to say it once. Whenever you want something, just ask for it. I'll give it to you. Anything you want, whenever you want."
Mercedes wasn't entirely sure what she felt more, joy, or shock, to hear such words coming out of Felix's mouth. His eyes were steady, as were his hands, though there was a slight dusting of pink on his cheeks despite it all. They weren't words he was saying lightly. He wasn't the type for japes, especially ones like these, and she knew to trust his word implicitly. Yet... She pulled away, despite how eager her hands felt to reach for him and hold him tightly. She couldn't ask him for more than she had already. He had endured enough of her misplaced longings, and even if that misunderstanding was behind them... She couldn't in good faith ask for more. "That isn't necessary, Felix."
"Your answer just proves that it is. You spend so much time fretting over others that you don't bother to fret over yourself. If it weren't for me, or maybe Annette, too, you'd collapse on a daily basis. This is my attempt to start taking care of you. Properly." Felix's reply came quick and sharp, as keen as a swordstroke, and Mercedes' felt her face fall at the argument she couldn't quite deny. She knew he was right. Why else had she found herself there in the first place if he wasn't? Still... The hesitation was clear on her face, and Felix beat her to speaking as again his hand grasped her chin, but far more gently this time as he angled her face upwards so her eyes would follow and focus on his when he spoke, "You said you wanted to be near me more from now on. I didn't argue. I'm still not arguing. But if you want to keep staying near me, you need to allow me to watch out for you just as much as you watch out for everybody else. And if it makes you feel better, this isn't an offer I'm giving away freely. Stay by me. I'll take care of you. You can even be selfish every once and awhile. I don't see why you wouldn't accept. Unless you don't want me."
"I do want you!"
The moment the words slipped out, Mercedes knew she had lost. The wolfish look on Felix's face only proved it. She had stumbled so easily into his trap that she may as well have walked into it with full knowledge that it was there. Her face burnt red, but this time she felt no shame. It was impossible to, after what she had just said, and with how utterly smug Felix looked to hear her say it. His thumb brushed over her lips, still swollen from his kiss, and she looked at him silently, not about to deny it and knowing better than to even try. His expression softened as her eyes held his, gentle, warm, longing, yet almost sad... and his voice was quiet when he explained simply, "I want you, too. This is my selfishness. So be with me for awhile, Mercedes. We can look to the future when that time comes. Our future, if you want to share it."
"I didn't know you could be so much of a cheat..." Mercedes leaned forward, resting her face into his shoulder as her arms reached of their own volition to wrap tightly about him. He twitched in surprise at her movement and her words, but he didn't seem ready to protest. Rather, he seemed to be holding his breath, waiting, and she was glad to hide her smile against the warm, rough fabric of his cloak as she sighed and surrendered. He had won, again, and moreover... He was right. She wanted to be selfish, even if only a little, and if it was with him... Then it didn't feel too bad to do so. He was offering, after all. "All right, Felix... I accept... but I hope you realize your offer goes both ways. Whenever you want or need anything... I'll be here."
"I know." Felix felt her nuzzle his shoulder gently, letting out a quiet, tired sigh as she did so, but he felt no concern. Her arms were tightly wound about him, and her fingers were buried in the thick cloth of his cloak. She wasn't about to let go, no matter how guilty she may have been feeling about her acceptance of his offer. In any other circumstance, he may have enjoyed it, hearing her give way to him so honestly, but there was no room in him for that. He simply wanted to hold her for a little while, to allow her to take her time in his arms as she sorely needed. Anything else could come second. Would come second. If she would never treat herself first... He would take up the gauntlet, and gladly. He could do that much for her, when she had done so much more for him. So, he stood quiet and composed, arms cradling her svelte form close and his chin resting on her hair... It would be fine. He'd make sure of it.
AN:
Long and rambling, and not really what I intended to do, but I am satisfied by it nonetheless. There wasn't exactly much plot here (I intended to write some, but it got lost in the shuffle) but for those looking for plot, don't worry. There's going to be a whole bunch of chapters in a row purely dedicated to it. The entire sequence with the bridge is going to span at least three chapters, and Grondor is going to be a spectacle all on its own... That bit, (the bridge, especially) is where my "changes" to the route will begin. Mind you, they will start small, and may not look like much at first glance, but I intend to make a tidal wave of Azure Moon. So much needed reworking, and since I'm on this kick, I intend to fix what I can while keeping it all in the realm of possibility. (Or believability, I guess?)
Anywhosit. Everyone who guessed Lindhart was with Lysithea gets a cookie! Congrats, you lot! Mind, it's not like it was a difficult puzzle, but still... I really wanted to make it clear that while the Black Eagles (for the majority) will not be joining with the rebellion, that they have their own lives and attachments that they are still holding onto and influencing them. Unfortunately, with my focus being on the Blue Lions, I can't quite dive into that like I would like to beyond the odd comment. It's sadly a lot like the game itself, being locked out of the loop depending on your path, and AM is sadly one of the two routes that suffer the worst for this. (CF being the other, but that's more for lack of content and closure.)
I won't be leaving a long AN, as it's five am and I'm exhausted and in sore need of sleep. Thank you for reading this far, and I apologize for the rambling and the disjointedness of this chapter. Hopefully the next few make up for it. Drop a review should you feel the need, and have a good one! See you again soon!
Mood: Sore
Listening To: "Face My Fears" - Utada Hikaru (Kingdom Hearts 3)
~ Sky