A/N ~ thank you to the wonderful people who reviewed :)

After his conversation with Meredith, Derek spent the rest of his day in low spirits, snapping at anyone who tried to talk to him for too long. Especially Addison. She had not only come to his hospital and ruined his fresh relationship, she had accidentally dragged along his ex best friend. This day was all too much, he felt like he was drowning. So when his shift ended, he decided on going straight to his trailer to drink and mope. But when he saw a group of residents on their way to Joe's bar, he thought of Meredith, and made his way to the bar in hopes of seeing her.

When Derek entered through the doors, he scanned the room and didn't see the blonde, but her best friend. He made his way over, and hovered next to her, not sitting down.

"Yang." he sighed. Cristina just looked up at him disapprovingly. When she looked back ahead, he spoke again. "Is she coming here?"

Cristina once more didn't respond, but stood up from her seat and walked off to a table with the rest of the interns. Derek sighed and took her seat. For a moment, he stared at the bartop and picked at the corner where the top layer was peeling. He briefly looked up and a girl emerging from the bathroom at a brisk walk caught his attention. "Meredith!" He frowned as she either totally ignored him or maybe just didn't hear, but she made no difference in speed and ran out of the main door to the bar. Derek glanced over worriedly at the table where her friends were sitting, but they were engaged in a busy conversation and apparently didn't see Meredith. So Derek stood up and quickly followed Meredith out the door..

Out on the street he didn't see her anywhere, but after a car passed and a silence fell, he could hear sobbing coming from far away. He could feel his heartbeat in his throat when he rushed towards the sound and turned into an alleyway, where she was crumpled on the ground, bawling.

"Meredith…"

She looked up at him quickly and his chest tightened when he saw the look on her face. Her cries paused for a moment before her breath hitched and she started sobbing again. Derek crouched down in front of her.

"Mer, hey- Meredith. What's wrong? Meredith you have to breathe." He tried to catch her attention but she kept sobbing and he grew more and more worried. He reached his hand out but as it made contact with her shoulder she pushed it off. His frown deepened and he exasperatedly ran his hand through his hair. "Meredith. Breathe" he whispered.

"I, I'm fi- I'm okay!" she struggled to get the quavering words out.

"Hey, no, none of that. It's okay Mer, just- just breathe." Derek breathed.

"I'm- I'm fucking trying!" Meredith gasped.

"Meredith just," Derek sighed. "Look at me. Take a deep breath." Meredith didn't look at him but did take a few deep breaths. "That's it, Mer. You're okay. You're safe."

"Derek.." she whimpered.

"What happened?" he spoke softly, still frowning.

Meredith shook her head, and murmured "nothing" but Derek gave her a look. "It- it really doesn't matter, I- I'm being dramatic" she said as she wiped her cheeks.

Derek frowned. "It matters to me. Meredith, you're crying like someone died." Meredith scoffed at that. "What?" he asked.

"I just-" she looked up at him. There was a brief moment where they stared at each other for a moment. "Where's your wife?"

"Meredith, I…" Derek shook his head softly.

Meredith just looked at the ground with silent tears still falling. Derek remained watching her and contemplating what to do, but Meredith's phone started ringing.

"Oh-" she began rummaging through her purse until she found her phone and murmured "Cristina." She took a deep breath and brought the phone to her ear as Derek sighed and watched. "Hey, yeah I'm just- okay. Yeah I'll meet you outside. Okay. Bye." She hung up the phone and looked up at him. "I, uh, am going home."

Derek nodded and stood up, offering his hand to help her up but she ignored it and used the wall to slowly stand. "Meredith."

Meredith avoided his gaze. "Bye."

She started to walk back to the main street but Derek caught her wrist. "Meredith," She looked down at it and frowned before looking back at him, and tugging it out of his grasp. "Meredith I just-" he took a deep breath. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." she murmured. "I'm meeting Cristina."

"Okay just- okay."

Meredith nodded and slowly turned around, and he watched as she stumbled away.

Meredith's alarm woke her up. She rolled over and rubbed her forehead, forcing her eyes open. She stared at the ceiling for a moment before her door opened, and she glanced over, surprised to see her best friend standing there.

"Cristina?"

"Rise and shine."

"I uh," she frowned and sat up. "Why are you here?"

"Wow." Cristina scoffed. "Seriously?"

"No I… I know you came home with me. I- why are you here now though? Is it not a regular work day?"

"It is. Which is why I'm dressed and ready to go, as opposed to you." she gestured to Meredith. She watched as Meredith pulled the duvet aside and got out of bed slowly. "I stayed here last night."

Meredith looked at her and frowned. "Why?"

"When we got here you ran straight to the bathroom and threw up. Multiple times." Cristina grimaced.

Meredith scrunched up her face. "Right, I just, was it that bad you had to stay?"

"Eh, George and Izzie were asleep and I just didn't feel good leaving you on the floor all miserable. Besides, it was late and I was tired. I slept in your bed with you after you stopped, you know, spewing."

"Right." Meredith nodded. "Well, thanks."

"Whatever. Get ready or I'm taking your car and leaving without you." she said and walked out of her room.

Meredith sighed and sat down at the edge of her bed. She thought about last night, when Mark had kissed her and subsequently she ran out crying. Then, of course, Derek had to find her wailing in some random alley. She groaned and put her face in her hands. She hadn't spoken to him much since Addison's arrival and she had no idea what was happening with that marriage. She knew they hadn't spoken in a while, but things may change with her being here in Seattle. And not only was she still reeling from finding out her boyfriend was married, now she had to deal with him seeing her a drunken mess. And she had absolutely no clue as to how Mark would fit into this, but she still felt gross from Mark practically making out with her outside the bathroom. She just knew she didn't want to deal with any of this. Meredith lifted her head and took a deep breath. She just had to get through this day, and then she'd have one day off to sulk. She stood up and walked to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

"So, I'll see you in there" Derek smiled at his patient.

"Thanks, Dr. Shepherd" the young man replied. Derek smiled at him, and walked out of the room.

"Derek."

He looked up and saw his wife standing in front of him, holding a chart.

"Not now, Addison." he said gruffly and turned away from her to walk down the hall.

"Well, then- when? Derek, we have to talk at some point!" Addison replied as she followed him down the hall. Derek ignored her. "Derek, please. I'm sorry about Mark, I have no idea why he's here. Just- forget about him. Just, can we please have a moment to talk."

Derek stopped walking and turned around. "Forget about him?" he said accusingly. "Something tells me I'm not going to just forget about him"

"Derek… come on." Addison sighed.

"You have no idea why he's here? What, you think it's a coincidence that the day you make your marvellous arrival, suddenly he's here too?" He raised his eyebrows.

"That has nothing to do with me! I don't know how he'd even know I came here."

"Well, he's here."

Addison groaned and looked down the hallway, then grabbed his arm and started dragging him down.

"Addison- let go."

"Just-" she pulled him into an on-call room and shut the door, standing in front of it she turned to face him.

"I'm working." Derek said from the middle of the room.

"Just, listen to me. Please."

Derek sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Fine. Talk."

Addison offered a small smile and took a deep breath. "Derek. I, I'm sorry. I messed up. People mess up-"

"You slept with Mark."

"Derek-" she inhaled and shook her head.

Derek watched for a moment before gesturing, "Go on."

Addison looked at him and sighed. "I think- I just. Listen. There's two ways we could go about this. I could apologise, you accept and we give it a go. We promise to actually try and make it work. Or, we could-" she sighed, "not give it a go. It will be easy, I won't be a total bitch about it if that's what you want. But Derek, I really think we can do this. It won't be easy but, I really think we can do it. We can fix it. We can- we can fix us." She smiled at him and nodded to signal she was done.

Derek looked at the ground and swallowed.

"Okay just- just think about it. You don't have to decide anything. God knows I can wait." she smiled and turned around to open the door. She paused in the doorway and looked back at Derek. "Just know, I still love you." She turned and left the on-call room. Derek stood in the silence, thinking. He took a deep breath and nodded, then followed Addison out. As he emerged from the room, he looked down the hallway and saw Meredith caught off guard, standing there holding a chart with a pen in her hand, watching him. When they made eye contact, she took a deep breath and looked around her before looking down at the chart and beginning to walk away.

"Meredith" he spoke in a hushed voice. When she ignored him, he spoke louder, "Dr. Grey." Meredith paused and turned around.

"Yes Dr. Shepherd?" she said evenly.

Derek let out a small breath at the look on her face. The look of defeat in her eyes. "How are you doing?"

She frowned slightly. "I'm fine."

"Meredith, what happened yesterday? You-"

"Yesterday was nothing." She cut him off. "Just forget about it, okay?"

He nodded, still concerned.

"Did you need me for anything, Dr. Shepherd?"

He looked at her for a moment, before shaking his head slowly. "No.

He watched her go as he ran his hand through his hair, and started walking down the other direction to continue doing his job.

A/N ~ I just re-read this because I'm about to upload it and idk what I was on when I wrote it but it's so fucking boring. I'm sincerely sorry. Stay with me guys. Anyone watch the white lotus? The season 2 finale had me gasping, like literally sitting in my bedroom, alone, gasping at my laptop.