A/N ~ thank you so so so much for the reviews! they make my day and are genuinely so encouraging :)

Meredith was officially an expert avoider. It had been three weeks since she broke down in the elevator with Derek, and ever since, she managed to keep conversation between them short and professional. Any time his gaze lingered on her, which was too often, Meredith found a way to prevent the crossing of any lines. And usually, she did it very skillfully, although two days ago, she vowed to be more careful when avoiding led to walking in on a wretched mother being told her son was dead.

She told herself it was better this way, that she was being mature and moving on. But no part of her even resembled moving on. Whenever she'd spot Derek and Addison together, she felt the same physical reaction each time. The sensation of her stomach dropping and her mouth drying up. Her heartbeat quickening, and sometimes slight nausea. When she'd lay in bed at night, she'd think about how unreasonable it seemed to be so upset over simply seeing them together.

As a teenager, Meredith would watch some of her friends experience their first heartbreaks. She'd console them with soft strokes along their upper arms and hushed phrases like, 'he's an ass,' and, 'you deserve better,' all while wondering why they were being so dramatic. She once had a conversation with a friend, where she admitted to speculating if they all determined their reactions on how they thought they were supposed to react, subconsciously imitating what they'd read in romance books or seen in movies. The friend scoffed and smiled at Meredith, calling her 'lucky to be so naive.'

But now, Meredith understood. Nothing was manipulating her. It was sincerely how she felt. And it was horrible.

"I don't want to go jogging with you; that doesn't mean I'm depressed, Cristina." Meredith had gone into work early and was sitting on the bench in the locker room with Cristina, both of them bored and waiting on their shift to begin. "Jogging," she repeated, looking sternly at her friend, "We don't jog."

"Oh, yeah? Sure, we don't jog. I kind of suggested that as a joke. But when's the last time you left the house for something other than work?" Christina asked and raised her eyebrows.

Meredith looked up with a slight winning smirk. "Four days ago."

Cristina merely rolled her eyes. "Taking me home after the termination of fetus does not count."

Meredith's smile faltered. "How are you doing with… that?" she asked softly. Although she knew that the abortion was, without a doubt, the right choice for Cristina, her silence in the car after the procedure worried her slightly.

"Don't change the subject," Cristina replied without missing a beat, but sighed when Meredith gave her a pointed look. "I'm fine. I promise. Bleeding and occasional cramps." Meredith couldn't tell if she was putting up a front or was genuinely fine. Cristina was a good liar, but Meredith didn't have the energy to prod any further, so she nodded and continued resting her head in her hands.

"Well, I'm fine too."

Cristina sucked her teeth and shook her head, choosing not to reply because the door swung open, and Izzie walked in alongside George.

As insignificant conversation commenced between her friends, Meredith sucked in a deep breath and leaned down to re-tied her shoelace. Everyone struggles a bit after a break-up. She hadn't gone out in a week, and Cristina was being awfully dramatic about it. If anything, she should be proud. It's not like drinking every night and sleeping with random men was the best coping mechanism.

Derek was sitting briefly in the research room, wanting to check some details for his surgery later on that day. He squinted at the computer screen, his eyes stinging. He squeezed them shut, and grimaced. He took a deep breath and focused on the computer again.

"Shepherd," Dr. Burke walked into the research room and nodded politely.

Derek turned his head to Burke without looking away from the screen and raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement.

"Unexpected news about Dr. Grey, huh?" Burke said conversationally after an extended moment of quiet.

Derek frowned quickly, and turned to face him. "Sorry?" his body heated ever so slightly as he began pondering what the hell Dr. Burke could be talking about. Meredith had been acting fairly off recently, but he assumed it was about himself. He had never until now considered that something completely separate could've happened to her.

"You didn't hear? She got admitted not long ago. And she has advanced Alzheimer's," he said, Derek's expression making him apprehensive.

Derek blinked and shook his head lightly, extremely confused and waiting for more information.

"Dr. Ellis Grey!" Burke exclaimed. "Sorry," he chuckled, slightly nervously. "I forgot about the other… yeah."

Derek tried to hide his sigh of relief. "Oh," he uttered, feeling his body slow down internally at the realisation that Burke wasn't talking about Meredith at all. He looked back at the computer screen, but was no longer reading the words. "Yeah… yeah, I knew about Ellis' Alzheimer's. Meredith told me not too long before…" he trailed off distractedly. "Did you say she got admitted? Here?" he darted his eyes to Burke again.

"Mhm," Burke nodded, curious at Derek's reaction.

"What happened?" Derek took his hand off the computer mouse.

"I heard something about diverticulitis, maybe. Not sure," Burke shrugged. "She was very aggravated when they brought her up to the surgical floor. Caused quite the scene."

"God, that's…" Derek couldn't figure out how to ask him where Meredith was when this occurred. On the rare occasion Meredith would talk about her mother, it was never overly positive. Derek didn't pretend to have any understanding of their relationship, and he had no idea how Meredith was feeling right now. But he was worried. He knew it was likely she was powering through and convincing everyone she was fine. He wanted so badly to turn back time, and be able to offer her some comfort. But it wasn't his job anymore, and she had made that very clear, multiple times. Still, though, the desire to make sure she was okay was overpowering the knowledge that she was too stubborn to talk to him.

"I've gotta…" Derek stood up and left his research on the computer screen. He pushed the chair away and made his way to the door. "I'll see you."

Without waiting to hear a reply from Burke, Derek stepped out of the research room and started towards the main surgical floor.

Derek stopped walking and smiled at his luck when he saw Meredith talking to a visitor and pointing to the front desk. Once the visitor had smiled, said thank you, and walked away, Derek took a deep breath. "Dr. Grey!" he exclaimed, perhaps too brightly.

Meredith looked at him and sighed. "Oh my fucking…" she muttered, closing her eyes and shaking her head at the floor as he walked towards her. "Yes, Dr. Shepherd?" she mumbled, looking up at him wearily.

"How's uh… I heard about your mother," he began hesitantly, discouraged by her attitude.

"Who hasn't at this point," Meredith replied ruefully.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice just above a whisper.

Meredith stared at him, her eyes boring into his. The longer they silently stared at each other, the more he felt as if she was drifting away from him. It wasn't that she hadn't looked at him in the past week, but she hadn't looked at him like this. He wasn't used to the absence in her eyes, the way something about her was missing. It scared him. After a moment, she scoffed so lightly and glanced away from Derek's gaze. Her harrowed conduct was unfamiliar, and it unnerved him.

"Meredith, don't be like this. I'm asking you if you're okay and you can't even have a friendly conversation with me. How long are you going to hold this grudge? I have a wife; I didn't kill your dog."

Derek winced as soon as he said it. He didn't know why he was being so awful. But the kind approach wasn't working and he was desperate to get a reaction from her. It had been a week since he'd seen her express what he interpreted to be a genuine, strong emotion. Not long ago, she was all over the place, from crying outside bars and inside elevators to yelling at him in front of everyone in said bar. Now, she was like a ghost. He hoped she'd at least respond with some remark, but the only reaction he got was her face tightening ever so slightly, followed by her head bowing even further. He frowned in concern when he thought her breathing seemed to grow almost unnoticeably uneven and strangled.

"I- I'm-" he stuttered out and shook his head while watching her with furrowed eyebrows. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

Meredith nodded rapidly at the ground as if to say she understood, it's okay.

"Hey," he whispered, stepping closer to her and frowning even deeper.

She very quickly sucked in a breath and stepped backwards. She looked up at Derek. He prepared himself for tears in her eyes, but they only displayed the emptiness. "I, uh. I don't have a dog."

Derek narrowed his eyes at the trace of humour in her voice. "It's a metaphor…"

Meredith's eyes softened at his response, and the corners of her lips turned upwards faintly. "I gotta go," she spoke smoothly and delicately. Derek couldn't think to say anything, so he just offered a gentle smile and she left.

Derek remained standing in the middle of the hallway, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

Derek stood at the nurse's desk, waiting for his ex-girlfriend's best friend to emerge from the female bathroom. He knew it was weird, but he told himself it was a small sacrifice, for he didn't know how else to corner her. Derek tapped his pen rhythmically against the chart he had in front of him, still thinking about his interaction with Meredith half an hour ago. The more he thought about it, the more perplexed he got.

His eyes snapped up from his chart when he heard the door open, but he quickly looked down when he locked eyes with a nurse he had never seen before. He blew out a deep breath and shook his head, laughing softly to himself at how ridiculous this was. He was one of the most sought after neurosurgeons in the northwest, yet he was stationed waiting outside the women's restroom. The door opened once again and he looked up for a second time, relaxing when this time it was who he was hoping for. Cristina met his eyes briefly as she walked over to collect the stack of charts she had left sitting there three minutes ago.

"Dr. Yang," Derek nodded. Cristina ignored him. He sucked his lips in and steadily slid the chart closer towards her, "Kelly Roesch, ETS, persistent blushing. I could use another intern…" he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Derek knew Cristina was focused on cardio, and this wasn't a particularly intriguing surgery for her, but he wanted the opportunity to talk.

"Uh, thanks, but I've got charts," Cristina replied without looking in his direction, picking up her pen and holding it above the paper before her.

"It shouldn't take longer than 2 hours. I've got Karev doing pre-op."

Cristina blinked slowly and finally looked at him. "Dr. Shepherd, I hope you know it would be highly unprofessional to offer me a surgery to get me to talk to you about Dr. Grey."

Derek tilted his head and frowned. "I'm offering you a surgery because it's my job to teach you, Dr. Yang."

Cristina laughed dryly. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Dr. Yang, I am your superior-"

"Just-" she cut him off. "I really do not want to be stuck in surgery with you asking me whatever the hell you want to ask about her. Just," she sighed, "ask now. Make it quick and don't expect an answer."

"Can you at least tell me she's doing okay?" Derek pleaded, "It's killing me that I don't know if she's okay. Just, please?" he all but whispered. The hospital buzzed around them, but Derek was focused on Cristina's face, watching for any non-verbal answer she might give him. He was tired of Meredith walking away from him at any opportunity, acting like they were never together. Cristina was watching him, looking like she was considering actually talking to him. "I still care, Cristina," he used her first name and winced slightly, prepared for an adverse reaction. But her face didn't change, she opened her mouth slightly as if to speak, but all that came out was a sigh.

"She'll be fine," she said plainly.

Derek shook his head with slight frustration. "Yang, you can't just say-"

"She'll be fine," Cristina repeated firmly. Derek didn't say anything. "You don't get to-" she let out an annoyed sigh. "Don't you get how confused she is right now? You have a wife. A wife! You leave Meredith for your wife, and yet you're still trying to pretend nothing changed. She's trying to let go of you but you're making it fucking difficult. You broke up with her; act like it."

Derek was taken aback. "Pretend nothing changed? Believe me, I know everything has changed. That doesn't mean I don't care about her." Cristina was too far on Meredith's side; Derek somewhat knew she wouldn't be able to see from his perspective.

Cristina slammed down her pen and swiftly looked at Derek, fuming. "Do you actually think she might be okay right now?"

"Well, no-"

"Obviously she's not okay. You broke her. It sounds dramatic, I know. She's not admitting it, and I don't know if she's even aware of it, but she's broken right now. You come up to me asking if she's okay, are you that stupid you thought I might say yes?"

"Dr. Yang," Derek said firmly, trying to stop her rant, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears.

"Answer me."

"No. I guess I knew she wasn't okay, but you can understand I just needed to know you were looking after her."

Cristina's mouth fell open and her eyes widened. "You needed to know, did you? You don't need anything from me, or Meredith, for that matter. You see what's happening right now?" she gestured between them. "This is you feeling guilty about leaving her lying on the cold ground. So, in the hopes of making yourself feel better, you go for runner-up, the best friend. You thought you'd come up to me, ask about Meredith, and I'd grumble a short reply and walk away. And," she threw her hands up in mock defeat, "At least you tried! You did all you could, right? You won't have to feel guilty anymore."

Derek's jaw opened slowly and he blinked, bewildered, and shook his head. "That's not at all what I was trying to-"

Cristina held her hand up. "I don't want to hear it. Please don't talk to me about anything not work-related. Thank you for the offer to join you on your surgery, Dr. Shepherd, but I'll decline."

And with that, Cristina gathered all the charts in her arms and walked away, leaving Derek baffled.

A/N ~ I am always multiple chapters ahead of what I post so I can PROMISE you merder starts to increase soon. The whole wife thing is still fresh right now. Also, when I use the same storyline as the show (such as Ellis Grey being admitted), I try to avoid rewriting scenes. But just know that the scene in the show with Meredith hiding behind walls, and Meredith in the locker room being assigned charts, those things happened in this universe.