Genres/Ratings: Family, Hurt/Comfort, Mourning, Angst. (T)

Characters: Warin, Raine, Dimitri.

Summary: It had been awhile, perhaps too long, since they had had a chance to sit together and speak frankly. And both had much to say, after the previous moon. Much had changed, and there was much they had not been able to tell one another... Family was everything. It would always be everything, no matter how many moons passed, and how much they grew, or with who they grew. That they knew and held close to the chest, now that they were all they had in terms of family, and it was time to reaffirm it, after all that had happened between them after the battle at Grondor Fields.

Garland Moon

Fhirdiad (Castle Balcony)

Nightfall

The castle behind her was a din of noise, laughter, music and other celebratory noises, but it was all at Raine's back as she stood quiet and alone at the balcony, looking out at the castle's surroundings as a fresh blanket of snow covered everything her eyes could see. Sometime during the day the first white flakes had begun to fall, but she had been too busy with work to have gotten a good chance to see it for herself. Now, taking a chance to slip away from the celebrating of both her men and the allied nobility, Raine tilted her head back, allowing for the snow to fall onto her face and savouring every little sharp pinprick of cold. She hadn't fully believed her students at first when they had told her of their icy and snow-covered home, as she had never been far enough north herself to see it, and she mused that she owed them all an apology later.

It was an absolutely beautiful sight, even in the flickering firelight lamps that lit up the castle grounds. The white expanse seemed to go on forever, covering housetop and street alike far into the city, and she wondered what the countryside had to look like underneath the snow. For miles it had to stretch, fresh and unbroken white on white, and even in the midst of the war, she couldn't help but find it all to be so peaceful. The snow made everything quiet, calm, and as it continued to fall down in lazy spirals, she wondered how high it would pile up before morning, and what would be done to remove it to make travel through the streets less of a challenge.

Leaning on the balcony, Raine savoured the quiet as she closed her eyes against the sounds of the feasting coming from behind the closed doors. Though the castle was beautiful in its own way, after being stripped of all its Dukedom trappings and returned to its former glory, she still couldn't stand being in the centre of the crowd. She still had work to do, planning for the travel to Derdriu after Claude's coded message and the taking of the Silver Maiden, once her troops had time to rest and regroup, but she knew the need for rest was paramount, especially now. If she was to be caught bending over a map, or with her nose in a book, especially tonight of all nights, she could well imagine the scolding that she would get. She had no wish for it, especially considering how many drunkards were currently filling the ballroom... Though, she mused with a small smile, that if anyone deserved a chance to cut loose, it was the men and women she had been fighting alongside for the last several moons.

It had been a magnificent homecoming, for both her students and for Dimitri, though he had been taken aback at the clear support his people had given him on his return. He had done his level best to appear calm and in control, to accept it with grace, but she had spied his tears of awe and relief, and reminded him gently that it was all right to let go. She hadn't seen him since he had slipped free of the party, once the cleaning of the streets and castle had finished and the celebrating had begun, but she knew better than to look. He was home, and it had been almost six years since he had last been. He needed time and space, and she was happy to give it to him, knowing eventually he would return to her side when he was ready. There was likely much running through his mind now, much he wanted and needed to do, and unless asked, she had no intention of getting in his way and stopping him.

"You'll catch your death out here if you linger too long, you know. Is the party too loud for you?"

Her brother's voice made her smile, and she turned slightly to watch him carefully ducking out between the doors, his hands carrying a large pint each as he made his way to the balcony beside her. She moved a little to the left to give him room to join her, watching with raised eyebrows at the little twist of steam that escaped the top of the tankards he was carrying. He handed one to her, resting his own on the top of the thick railing, and though she didn't admit it, as her fingers curled around the large drink to feel its warmth, she was glad to see him, as well as his offering. She answered as she glanced down into the golden liquid inside of the tankard curiously, "I just needed a small break from the noise, that's all. I'll be back inside to be tossed about like a party favour once I've caught my breath... Now, what exactly did you bring me?"

"Hot cider. Apparently a Faerghus speciality against cold nights. Don't worry, there's not a drop of alcohol in it, so drink your fill. It'll keep you warm." Warin answered, and to demonstrate, he took a large swig himself and let out a long, satisfied breath as he did so. It had a sharp taste, sweet and honeyed with apples and other ingredients local to the city, and he could well imagine how the drink had gained its popularity. It kept the body warm without needing the sting of alcohol to carry it, and as Raine took an experimental sip, then smiled broadly at the taste, he was glad to see she shared a similar like. Her hands tightened around the warm glass, warming up her cold fingers, and he rested his elbows on the railing as he mused, "You've never been this far north before, have you? Father never took you into Fhirdiad. How are you liking the northlands?"

"They're beautiful... but I can see why Father kept me at camp while the two of you went north whenever you had dealings with the nobility here. It's a cold land. Treacherous to those who don't know it." Raine answered honesty, and again her eyes swept out over the grounds, taking in the snow and wondering if she would have been able to appreciate the sight before her in her youth. She doubted it. She had seen snow before, but never in such a vast quantity, and she had never really cared for it. It was difficult to travel through, even harder to fight in, and all of the layers of clothing needed to stay warm in such a hostile environment had always been an annoyance. Now, with age and experience, and fresh new eyes... Raine could appreciate the beauty in the danger, and she was glad that her first experience with Faerghus was now, and not in her childhood when she hadn't known her emotions enough to form anything beyond opinions based solely on pragmatism. "The people here a hardy folk to live here year round, if this is what they have to put up with. I'm starting to understand why my students are the way they are, now that I've been here myself."

"Fhirdiad was a beautiful city when we were here last. Father always said he preferred dealing with the nobility in the Kingdom over those in the Alliance or the Empire. Though, if you ask me, I'm pretty sure it's because they brew better ale here." Warin remarked, and he took another long swig as he imagined the cider in his hand peppered with alcohol. It was already a good, strong drink of its own merits, and adding alcohol to it would make for any mercenary happy to brave the northern cold if it meant filling their flask freely. His father had been that exact type, and it made him chuckle as he added, "There is an alcoholic version of this floating about the party, but I figured you might appreciate something more easy to go down. You're still banned from drinking, aren't you?"

"Not necessarily banned, but Mercedes hinted she wouldn't be pleased with me if she caught me visiting the tavern until well after next moon." Raine replied with a small laugh of her own, and she was planning to keep to the warning and stay completely dry until she was given explicit permission to indulge in the mercenary's worst vice. It was a cautionary advisory more than a demand, she knew, simply because of how much weight she had lost over the past few moons, and until she had put most of it back on, drinking simply was not wise. Her tolerance had always been excellent, it had to be if she was to earn the respect of any mercenary serving alongside her father, but she was a weaker woman now. She had to take better care of herself, and if it meant avoiding drinking for a little while... She could go without. "I am however recovering well, if my last visit to Flayn meant anything. My sword arm is as good as it used to be, and I'm not as easily tired as I was... but I don't blame Mercedes for being overly cautious. Felix tells me he had to literally carry her off sometimes from the infirmary to make her rest rather than worrying over me."

Warin smirked into his drink, and he silently toasted the young son of Rodrigue for his brass in taking Mercedes of all women to task for not caring for herself. Even Annette had been reduced to worriedly hovering and commenting, and she never dared to go against the healer of the Blue Lions. Felix had the courage of a bear if he was willing to get physical in stopping Mercedes from overworking herself, and even though the young man grated on him, he could and would respect his commitment to the woman. Still, the topic sobered him as quickly as dunking his head in a trough would, and he set his tankard down before glancing sidelong at his sister and asking, "And your wound? Does it still pain you?"

"Only on the dreary days. The rain makes me ache, but not so much that it's a hindrance to my swordplay... The snow, somehow, doesn't seem to bother me much in comparison." Raine answered, and absently, she reached over her shoulder thoughtlessly to rub through the thick fabric of her cloak and shirt to feel the mark that she didn't doubt she would carry throughout the rest of her life. So much magic had been poured into her body that any pain at all surprised her, but she knew that was simply the way the body worked. Healing magic relied on as much as the caster's strength as it did the patient's will and usual health, and hers had been incredibly weak at the time of her coma. It made sense that the scar would never vanish, and that she would be haunted by flickers of pain every so often, but she had made her peace with that. "I'm told the scar won't heal over, but that's not much of a bother to me... It's not as if a mercenary gets by on looks. Wasn't that what Father always said?"

"He meant that in concern to himself... and also to the men. Not the women." Warin corrected her, and he didn't smile when his sister looked to him sharply in reproach for the comment pertaining to her sex. She had made a point to never be judged by her gender amongst the mercenaries she had fought alongside, and Warin had always been the most cautious of that when it had begun to be a problem. It was true enough that she was a woman, but she had met enough female mercenaries to know that gender meant nothing on the field of battle. It was only skill and strength and speed that mattered, and anyone, man, woman, and even children, could prove themselves capable or useful if they put themselves to the task. Yet, knowing all this, he had made the comment all the same, and her eyes narrowed on him, but he didn't look remorseful as he continued quietly, "Father wouldn't have wanted you scarred. I... didn't want you scarred."

The confession took all of the wind from her sails, leaving her quiet and wary as he sighed and looked off into the distance without truly focussing on anything in front of him. His body was slumped over the railing, the tankard idly being swirled in his hand, but his expression was incredibly sombre. His eyes were distant, quiet, pained, and it made Raine take pause. She had dreaded this conversation, as she knew exactly where it was heading, and yet... She knew it had to happen. Warin was not a man who took to words easily, even if he could rip apart most with his tongue as well as his lance or gauntlets, and he had been shockingly merciful in sparing her from the lashing she had expected to get for her actions in Grondor.

Their meeting, brief as it was in the infirmary, had been professional and quiet, with him telling her all he knew she wanted to know, and leaving her only with a warning to listen to her healers lest he be called back to restrain her. He hadn't said anything to her since of Grondor or of her wounds, as if he was tiptoeing about the subject she knew was clearly always on the tip of his tongue whenever they were alone, and she had wondered what was holding him back. Her brother never gave quarter to anyone, not even her, and yet now... He reminded her much of Dimitri, timid and cautious, and she bit her lip as she decided it was best she never say such a thing aloud to keep her own self safe, and to spare their pride from the commonality between them.

Now, however, he had broached the topic as gently as he possibly could, and even if it sounded and looked as awkward as a fish flopping about on land... Raine was well aware she owed him answers to the multitude of questions and accusations that he likely had to have. She let out a breath of her own, watching the breeze carry away the mist as soon as it left her lips, and she likewise crossed her arms and bent over the railing to join him, though her eyes remained firmly fixed on her brother's face. She spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully, lest she prick his temper, or say something she did not entirely mean as she began, "I'm aware you've always wanted to protect me, since what happened five years ago. And... I'm aware that... I broke a promise to you, that day in Grondor. However, I... I can't say that I'm sorry for my actions. What I did, I'd do again. What happened afterwards... I didn't want to hurt you, or cause you distress... but I'm aware that I did. I'm sorry for that, at least. For believing that... You'd be all right, if I was gone."

"You really don't believe you have any worth, do you?" The question was cutting, but Warin's tone was tired, disappointed, as he looked around to his sister. She winced and looked away almost immediately, her eyes looking to the ground with guilt written all over her face, but he knew it had to be said. He had seen her face, just as Dimitri had. That damned peaceful, relieved expression when she had been laying bloody and limp on the ground, and it had both horrified and infuriated him at the moment. Now, however... All he felt was sadness, a deep, mournful sense of regret and sadness to know that she had been broken so thoroughly to believe such a thing of herself. In so many ways she had grown since they had entered Garreg Mach... and in as many ways, she had regressed. "Back when we were young, I suppose you didn't ever consider the idea that life would be easier without you. You didn't think of things in such broad strokes. You were always focussed on the here and now, rarely looking to the future, and even less to the past, unless you were trying to better yourself and your skills. Now, your eyes are always fixed on the horizon... and you fail to see the eyes fixed on you."

"Believe me, I'm well aware of the eyes fixed on me. It's a burden I'd gladly love to shove into someone else's arms." Raine remarked with a bitter laugh, but it was merely a sidestep to the topic that Warin was pushing on her. Still, she could not quite help herself, especially when only recently had she felt that horrid weight loosening its stranglehold on her body. Dimitri had been true to his word, and had taken more than half of her assigned tasks into his own hands, and it had lightened her load greatly. She worried over him, over his steep learning curve, but he never complained, and only rarely interrupted her work to ask aid if he was well and truly stuck. She appreciated his earnestness as much as it exasperated her, and she shook her head as she muttered under her breath, "It's grown easier, I'll admit that much, but it's still a burden I never asked for. I'm only glad that now I can do as I please in the open, and not act like some puppetmaster in the shadows. It was disgusting, acting underneath the noses of people I was leading and meant to trust. I hated every moment of it, and I'll continue to hate it until the day I die."

Warin admitted that it was fair of her to say so, and she had already voiced her frustrations over the course she had been forced to take in order to see her ideas realized, but she was wandering away from the point he wished to make. He pulled her back in firmly, his voice brooking no nonsense as he repeated himself, "Still, you seem to think that the world will keep revolving without you... and you're wrong. This rebellion can't continue if you fall. Nor can your students. Nor can I. I know you think little of yourself, and even less of the impact you have on your brats, but you're doing yourself, and them, a grave disservice if you believe they've all outgrown you just because you were gone for five years. Without you there to keep them in line, they fell quickly to anarchy after Grondor. You hate the pressure and the responsibility, and you're right to, as no one asked you for your opinion when you were made to lead, but the point remains... Your influence holds your students together. It keeps me sane. We cannot go on without you."

Raine was silent, feeling the words hitting like blows, but she couldn't for the life of her find a fitting reply. It reminded her too much of her knee-jerk reaction to break down in tears when Dimitri had claimed her existence as his reason for living, and it made her shiver reflexively. It was not as if she didn't wish to be so important to Dimitri, or to her brother, or her students. That was not it at all. She loved them, each in their own ways, and only wanted the best for them... She had simply never considered that her well-being, her living, was such an integral part of allowing them happiness and giving them peace.

Warin took her silence as permission to continue, as he did so without delay or preamble. The dam within his chest had broken, and it made his emotions flood, but he worked hard at keeping them at a somewhat steady flow rather than allowing them to pour out wildly. It would do her and him no good if he was to succumb thoughtlessly to them, and that kept his voice measured and somewhat calm as he spoke quietly, "I won't chastise you for breaking your promise... I won't do it because had I been in your shoes, and it had been Shamir and not Dimitri I was saving... I would have done the same, without hesitation or thought. It's simply how it is. To put you to task over it would make me a hypocrite, and so I'll leave that matter where it is... but the one thing I can't abide is how easily you believe we can put you behind us, and move forward. You must remember your life has value, even if you don't think so. I know you know you're loved. Your students would kill, and die, for you. You know that. So what is it that makes you think you can die for them, and it wouldn't hurt them as sorely as it would hurt you, if it was one of them taking your place?"

Raine bit her lower lip, but she knew she had no answers for him. At least, none that would truly satisfy him. It was difficult, placing herself anywhere in a position that gave herself merit. A leader she was, not by choice, but it made no difference, just as it had when she was a professor. She had approached leadership the same way she had approached teaching, to give it all she had simply because that was how she did things. If she was to be given this mantle, she would wear it as well as she could until she no longer had to. Eventually, the weight had become too much, and things had become too muddy. To keep them alive was paramount. Herself? Herself no longer mattered. "I don't know, Warin. Truly, I don't... Teaching opened me to things I didn't realize I could feel. To things I didn't realize I could do, or want, or need... and then, it was gone, and I was taking up a much larger burden instead. I had no time to adjust. No time to think, just to react... and I reacted poorly. Somewhere along the way, I think I... just simply started drowning, and I stopped trying to claw for the surface. I was so tired of kicking and screaming and fighting the current. I guess I just... thought it'd be easier to sink."

Warin exhaled deeply through his nose, trying not to let his face register the lance of agony that pierced through his chest at her words. He had seen it. He had known it for what it was... and he had done nothing to help her. No one had, even if they had whispered, had worried and fretted amongst themselves. She had put up a brave front physically, but mentally, she had been an open book to all of them. She did not wear her masks as well as she thought she did. Not any longer. He didn't know if that pleased or hurt him, and he was aware that would torment him for ages, but he soldiered on regardless, "I'm aware you had those thoughts... and I'll own up to doing absolutely nothing to help you, likely when you needed me most. I failed you as an older brother, and no amount of apologies will make that okay. I just... I need you to understand just how much you living truly means. Even if it takes you a decade, by the flames, take three or four of them if you must, but... Please, understand that some of us simply can't survive losing you. And I'm one of them."

Raine felt her eyes sting, and she sniffled despite herself as she raised a hand to rub at the sharp pain to make the tears disappear before they could overflow. She felt guilt and anger and shame, and she couldn't for the life of her figure out where it was being directed. Part of her wondered if he knew he was utilizing guilt as a weapon, but another already warned her that Warin was far and above using such petty tactics. He was being sincere. Any side-effects of that earnestness were accidents, and never intentional. He never aimed to hurt, even if his words were sharp. He was kinder than most knew, and it made her ache as she mumbled through her sleeve, "You didn't fail me, Warin... Hands were always there for me to reach for, but I never tried to grasp them. That's my own fault. I can't promise you that I'll be able to... think of myself as important, not right away, but... I can try. I can try my best."

Warin reached over, carefully encircling his arm around his sister's shoulders to draw her close, and she came willingly and without comment. She nestled against his side, happy for the embrace and the comfort he offered, and he sighed as he turned his head to press a kiss to the top of her own. It felt good to feel her against him, to see her strong and solid and healthy, though he still felt a pang of pain deep in his heart all the same. It brought a wry smile to his face, and he couldn't stop himself as he squeezed her gently and remarked ruefully, "I imagine the princeling will be able to help with that."

"Of course you know..."

The immediate response came in a groan, and Warin felt his lips pull into a smirk as his sister's face fell into her hands so she didn't need to show him her expression. She didn't have to, as he could imagine the shame and embarrassment and awkwardness, and it made him want to laugh despite the rawness in his chest and throat and eyes. She slumped against him, whether it was theatrics or genuine exhausted embarrassment he didn't know, but he didn't care as he supported her easily and explained frankly, "Yes, of course I know. Raine, I knew five years ago. Father knew. That's how blatant it was. Now, mind you, I'm aware you're only acting on it now, but the fact remains. And no, I'm not scolding you for it. I admit, I'm still not entirely pleased with him, but that's my problem, and not yours. What you do with your life, who you let into your bed, none of that is my business unless it hurts you. And I've seen no evidence of that."

Raine peeked through her fingers as she listened intently to his words, and she swore she could see steam rising from her cheeks from the amount of heat that was coursing through her face. Still... A great part of her felt much lighter, hearing her brother say so matter-of-factly that he was not about to intervene or comment negatively on her relationship with Dimitri. She had not expected him to be happy about it, and he was blunt in saying he wasn't, but he still was respecting her choices all the same. He loved her enough, respected her enough, to back away and swallow his pride, which they both knew was his cardinal sin, in order to let her be happy. It brought a smile to her lips, and she leaned in against his chest as she asked half-jokingly, "Is that your way of giving me your approval?"

"If that's what you want to call it... Perhaps." Warin allowed with a long-suffering exhale through his nose, but his smile hadn't faded as his sister looked up at him with mischievous affection shining in her seafoam-green coloured eyes. It made him relax, reminded him of better, lighter times, and he hugged her just a little bit closer before releasing her as he explained what he had seen for her bluntly, "Look, you were sick long before Grondor. We all knew it, and we all saw it. Secluding yourself in your room, training at late hours, refusing to eat with the others because you had so much else to attend to... and ever since you and Dimitri made amends, or began whatever it is you two are doing, your behaviour has taken a change for the better. I know full well it's his influence. I've seen him escorting you on your rounds, taking paperwork from your hands, and sitting with you in the dining hall with the others. You're sleeping well. You're gaining weight. Your eyes are alive again. If that's his doing, and I know that it is... Then how can I not approve of him? It isn't as if anyone else is capable of giving you what you need. I may want to punch him in the throat still, but that's my business. He's treating you well now. That's enough."

"Even if you did punch him, I'm afraid it'd do the two of you no good. You can't punish him any more than he's punishing himself." Raine sighed with a shake of her head, and her chest constricted tightly at the thought of violence breaking out between the two men she loved the most. She could understand it, and she already knew it had come dangerously close to happening. Dimitri had kept nothing from her once they had spoken at length and shared a bed. He told her everything just as she had told him all, and she was well aware her brother was the only thing that had stopped him from making a suicidal march to Enbarr not long after she had been declared stable. Dimitri had expressed his gratitude for it, for his harsh words and damning accusations, but he still felt too much shame to say the words to Warin himself. "I know that the two of you have to work out your differences yourselves, and I won't try to get in the way, but... I hope you believe me when I tell you that he's already condemned himself more harshly than anyone else ever will. He may be on the way to being the man he once was, that he wants to be, but even when he gets there, he doesn't believe it'll change anything in the end. He fully believes he'll find the flames awaiting him once he dies, and he's embraced it fully as a part of his repentance."

"So long as he isn't rushing head-first into death's arms, whatever he believes awaits him in the afterlife is of no consequence." Warin dismissed the words with a shake of his head, and he returned to his cider and took a long draught of the spiced drink even though it had long since lost its warmth. Raine was watching him closely, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and worry, and he looked back to her as he continued firmly, "It's what you do with you life here and now that lands you where you deserve to be in the afterlife, no? Is that not the Church's teachings? Five years of living as a monster, four more chasing vengeance... That's not enough to consign him to the flames. Not as long as he works every day of his remaining life to bettering the world about him. He's earnest enough about that, isn't he?"

"He is." Raine answered immediately and with absolute certainty, and her body stiffened in instinctive defiance to any idea of the opposite being assumed of him. She had seen it herself, and heard it, especially when he had thought she wasn't listening. She had already overheard him speaking several times to Ferdinand, the two nobles deep in conversation and thought of how to best pull the Empire out of the rubble that had buried them once Edelgard was out of the way, and that alone had been enough concrete evidence that the monster he thought he was was simply no more. The Dimitri she had met again after her five year slumber would have never thought of the Empire's well-being. "He isn't interested in conquering, or death, or vengeance... He just wants the truth. The honest truth about what happened to his family in Duscur, and after that... What's best for the people. Both in his homeland, and in the Empire and Alliance. He cares for Fódlan, and he wants to see it heal, and not only recover, but better itself for everyone who calls it home. I want that, too. So long as he continues to walk a path that will see that future become a reality... I intend to stand beside him."

"Then he's not bound for the flames when he dies. Even if he fails to make it happen, should he put in the effort, he'll find himself somewhere better when his time comes. Actions and intent are what you're judged upon. He spent a near decade as a beast, but what's a decade to the rest of his life?" Warin shrugged idly, feeling both completely confident in his words, and yet somewhat ill at ease with himself as he spoke them. He, like his sister, was not a believer in the Church of Seiros. From what he now knew of Sothis, he doubted she was even truly a goddess, if she could and had died. A true god could not die. It went against the very definition of godhood. But an afterlife went beyond the realms of the Church of Seiros. It was something that bound many cultures, almost all of them, throughout the history of man... He could reject the church, but he could not entirely reject the concept of a world after death. He wasn't sure if he wanted to. It raised far too many questions he could not answer, and that had never sat well with him. "We've all committed our fair share of sins... No one goes through life with completely clean hands. Especially when war is raging. I may not believe in the Church of Seiros, or any of its teachings, but if there is an afterlife, and there is something that will judge you for your acts when you die... I'd like to believe that neither you, or Dimitri, are bound for punishment for what you've done."

Raine smiled, wondering where such philosophical musings had come from, and musing herself that perhaps Shamir had had more of an impact on him than she had initially assumed. Still, she had noticed that he had not spoken of himself, and she gently nudged her elbow into his ribs as she reminded him gently, "If that's the case, then I believe the same should be said for you. You ran for five years, and had to resort to terrible things to survive, too... but never once did you do so with malice, and I know full well it still haunts you, even today. Shamir's gentled your edges, and I'm glad for that. I never knew what to say to you that you likely hadn't said yourself... but Shamir has a sharper tongue than I do, and a lot less concern for your feelings, even if she has your best interests at heart deep down. I'm not much like her in that."

"She's... been a great balm to me. I can say that honestly... I don't know where I'd be without her." Warin admitted with a nod, and he idly reached for the chain he was still wearing around his neck, even if the ring was no longer there to rest against his chest. It was at home on her hand, where it belonged, but he still felt himself reaching for it whenever he thought of her. It was habit now, and he had to remind himself to drop his hand as he looked to Raine's kind smile and continued honestly, "I gave her Mother's ring... We've promised to make no plans, until this war ends, but... I wanted to show my sincerity. We can't marry, not with the war raging and with all of the risks, but... As it is, we may as well be, and that gives me comfort. She gives me comfort. Something I never asked for, but something she gave, all the same. It's... just like Father always said it would be. I love her with all my being. And that's why I won't judge you for Dimitri. You feel for him the same way I feel for her. That's real. And I can't judge anyone who is that single-mindedly devoted to another. And damn me for it, but he loves you the same way."

"He does... I can say that with certainty, as... embarrassing as it sounds. And honestly, the only reason why I can listen to what you're saying now, and do what you're asking of me, is because Dimitri said similar things to me already." Raine confessed with a shy, pained smile, and she rubbed awkwardly at her nose as the warmth in her cheeks heated more strongly at the reminder of his declaration. To say her existence had saved him... had given him reason to live... It had been so humbling, and so painful all at once. She adored him with every ounce of her being. To make him hurt by neglecting herself, by dying, was unthinkable. It was not for herself, it was solely for him, but... It still was a step in a direction she knew she needed to take. "He... called me his reason for living. After hearing something like that... I can't very well think of throwing my life away so easily, can I?"

"It's good he cares that much for you. It makes me want to punch him less."

"Be careful, Brother, or I might start to think you're jealous, and not overprotective."

"Shut up..."

The cemetery was cold. A stiff, chill breeze blew through the long stretch of land, with no trees or columns to block it. Instead there were only rows upon rows of graves, silent and grey and snow-covered, all within throwing distance of the castle courtyards. It had been ages since Dimitri had last stood there before them all, but his feet had known the way there all the same without needing any input from his mind. When he had slunk away from the celebrations in the castle, needing the clear air, needing the silence, he had begun to walk aimlessly... It had only been once he crested the hill that led to the graveyard that he had realized where he was taking himself. Only for a moment had he hesitated, looking at his empty hands before back to the garden of headstones, before he had allowed himself to be pulled forward. It was what was expected of him, after his homecoming, and he could not resist the siren's call.

Now, Dimitri found himself standing tall and alone, studying the three graves that lay closest to the entrance, all built lavishly and decorated in true Faerghus fashion for the nobility, and yet he felt smaller than an ant as he gazed down on them in silence. The names of his father, birth-mother and step-mother all stared back at him, and for once, just once in what had seemed like a lifetime... Their voices were silent in his ears. Perhaps it was because he was there, finally seeing them as they were and not the ghosts that had been haunting him due to his guilt, due to his rage, but he did not care one way or the other. The silence was a relief... even if being there, ankle-deep in snow and feeling the cold biting into his skin was anything but.

He had nothing to lay on their graves, as he had come without thinking, but he would rectify that in the morning, when he had time to collect himself and remember proper protocol. His feet had taken him there too quickly and unexpectedly, but he doubted that they would be angered by his lack of a tribute. It had been too long since he had come there at all, and hopefully his presence for now would be enough. He would make up for it, as he would make up for everything else he had done since he had left Faerghus and Fhirdiad long behind him for fear of his life, but for the moment... He wished to be there, to see their names, and pay his respects now long, long overdue.

"I've come home... Father... Step-Mother... I am sorry that it has taken me so long to return." He spoke the words quietly, and the wind took them from his mouth almost as soon as he said them, but it did not matter. He had carefully brushed away the snow, revealing their names and the intricate carvings of crowns and flowers, and the sleek, oblong obelisks of gravestones still made his hand tremble when he touched them. They had not been desecrated, the entire graveyard was as he had remembered it from his youth, and for that, he was grateful. Cornelia had either not cared enough to uproot it, or had known that doing so would have inflamed the hearts of both the nobility and smallfolk alike had they discovered her actions. For that and that only he owed the woman thanks, but he felt a strong clench in his stomach as he looked to his step-mother's grave and reflected on all that had happened in the past several days.

Everywhere he looked, to everyone he spoke... Patricia's hand in the Tragedy of Duscur seemed to be everywhere despite his own misgivings. Even Rodrigue had come clean with his own suspicions, though Gilbert had been quick to remind him that it was only speculation, as Patricia herself was nowhere to be found after what had taken place in the regicide. If she had truly returned to the Empire, would she not be out and about now, free from the shackles of needing to hide now that her daughter was Emperor? Yet there was no sign of her, despite all orders to have left her carriage alone, and his last sight of her having been disappearing into the flames of the wreckage. Had it been a fever dream, from the pain, from the gore and fear and torture? Dimitri could not trust his memory, nor could he trust the murmurings... There was no solid evidence to be found, no matter where he looked. Only whispers, only speculation, and it left him hallow and aching as he wondered.

"As naive as it sounds, and speaking only for myself... Even if she wished to go home, even if what was said about her desire to see her family was true, that doesn't make her responsible. Those dark-robed mages... They've all proven time and time again they prefer to use people, before they show their hand. Doesn't it make more sense that they would use Patricia's heartsickness to their advantage, before she would turn to murder?"

Raine's words continued to echo in his head, giving him a small, slim thread of hope to cling to, but he was not sure if it was a poison, or a welcome balm. His memories of his step-mother were so few. Were so painful. Her longing stares out the window, her quiet demeanour, the indignities she had suffered by being taken from the Empire to live in the Kingdom... He had burned for her in outrage, had wished her happiness, had mourned for her... and to be told, from the lips of Cornelia no less, that is was quite possible she had had a hand in the Tragedy, even if it was only as a pawn...

Dimitri sighed raggedly, and ran a tired hand through his hair. It got him nowhere, no matter how many times he ran all the scenarios he could think of through his mind, and it only served to worsen his usual headaches whenever he tried. Raine's words were a string of hope to cling to, and cling to it he did, if only because it was the only thing that could give him peace. To see his step-mother as a victim, as he knew she had been before the Tragedy, was far easier for him to contemplate than it was to imagine her the mastermind. With the additional information that Cornelia had been of Thales' ilk, credence was being given to Raine's theory more than any other. It made sense, at least logically. It fit in with the established pattern... and it made him hate for them, and wish he had not been so damned blind to the truth of everything he had looked away from.

"I will not... hold you responsible until I know for certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt... that what happened that day was your doing. I cannot do it. You were the only mother I ever known, and I will not believe Cornelia's lies that you did not love me." Dimitri heard rather than felt himself speak, though he knew it was nothing but pure selfishness that goaded him on. He had no proof, absolutely none, and yet... It freed him, believing in this, rather than anything else. "I have nothing but my own instincts to go on, and they've proven me wrong many a time before... and if I am wrong about this, so be it, yet... I wish beyond anything, beyond everything, for it to be true. The few who knew you, said I was like you... and, in the end, I know for certain my feelings for you were and always have been real. Perhaps you did hate me. But that would not change the fact that you were the only mother I knew, and the only mother I loved. If that must be enough... I will let it be enough."

His hand tightened unbidden, and he felt the object in palm begin to press warningly against his bare skin. Immediately he released his grasp, opening his fingers to look at the silver band that was thankfully unharmed from his momentary lapse. The emeralds studded into the band were likewise shimmering as they always had, without a crack to be seen, and he allowed himself a relieved breath... After having scoured his quarters for hours, trying to remember where he had put it and fearing it had been stolen during his absence, to find that ring again had been nothing short of a miracle. He did not wish to see it damaged now.

Dimitri could still well remember Lambert giving it to him, with a smile and a gentle pet to the head as he explained it had belonged to his birth mother, and now it was his own to claim until the day came when he took someone to be his queen. He had held onto it after her passing, not wishing to give Patricia a gift that belonged to the dead when she was her own woman with her own past, present and future, and so he had passed it down to his son instead. The young boy he had been had no interest in the bauble despite its importance, as romance and thoughts of brides and weddings and queens had frightened him witless, and so he had hidden it away for a time when an older, more mature man could take it and use it as it was meant to.

He was not quite sure if he was ashamed or amused of his younger self for his fear, and yet as he stroked the ring in his palm and glanced to his father's headstone... He knew it had to be a mixture of both. He was still a boy in spirit, floundering in fear and uncertainty, even if he had long since grown since those days of youth and innocence. His father's words and instructions had fallen on deaf ears then, but he had grown enough to heed them now. It had been what had sent him into such a flurry when he had returned home, remembering the trinket that likely meant nothing to anyone else, but was the world to him now that he was back in Fhirdiad.

He supposed if that made him a fool, then he likely was one. He had been surprised to find his personal quarters undisturbed, even if the castle was so greatly changed. The Dukedom had tried to drape their trappings everywhere, mocking his home and destroying its identity, but the change had only been skin-deep. Cornelia had not made too great of an effort to make the castle her own. She had been too busy with her machinations with the Empire to attend to her vanity, which was another thing he supposed he had to be grateful for. A few days' worth of work, of stripping down banners and tapestries and throwing away propaganda had restored Fhirdiad to its former glory, and it was the reason for the celebration tonight. Their work in the castle and the city had been finished, the dead had been buried and their enemies seen to, and now, with the tension gone... Their spirits were high, and there had been no reason to deny his people when they had asked to celebrate their freedom and their success.

It had made him feel a bit like a villain, sneaking away from the party that was mostly being held in his honour, but he could not help it. The noise, the attention, the congratulations had been too much for him to handle. Hearing his people calling his name that day when the rebellion had freed the city had been difficult enough with the battle fatigue still weighing down his body. Now, well-rested and more settled in his thoughts, he could not quite get away from the discomfort. He knew his people wished him success. He knew they were grateful for his return. Yet, was he worthy of it? Worthy of the pomp and circumstance, their love and adulation, after all he had done? Even if he had returned as their liberator?

A long sigh escaped him, misting up above his head and disappearing on the wind... Raine had told him it was simply a king's welcome, a gleeful festival of freedom and jubilation, and if he did not wish to be there, he did not need to be. She had freed him from staying, offering to cover for him for as long as he wanted, with only the sheepish request that he had least join her sometime before the party ended so she could figure out where she was to sleep for the night. He had given her that promise, grateful for her care and patience, though he knew he didn't deserve that, either. She was an uncomfortable with the attention as he was, as this was their first victory since her healing, and the first true step in pushing back the Empire. Of course her men wished to cheer her on as much as they wanted to call for their future king, but she had remained while he had fled, and he owed her more than an apology for that on his return.

He studied the ring in his hand closely, and unbidden, selfishly, he wondered how it would look on her hand when the time came for him to give it to her. He had decided already, that first night when she had told him she loved him, that it belonged to no one but her. She could reject it if she wished, and he would not mind if she did. Once the war ended, he knew all she wanted was to live a simple, burden-free life, and to ask her to take the mantle of a queen was anything but. It didn't matter that she would have full rights and reason to step back and merely stand quiet and supportive in the shadows rather than rule at his side... She simply was not the type of woman who would take such an easy out, or shrug away from supporting him in the open. She wanted the best for the people she knew and did not know, and she would always work for their betterment. As a queen she would have those opportunities, would have that power... but she would also be bound by tradition and obligation, things that had nearly overwhelmed and killed her. To ask her to take that burden on again when she could have true freedom instead...

Another sigh heaved his shoulders, and he carefully pocketed the ring as he reminded himself that he was getting too far lost in his dreams. The future was so far off. Too far off. Raine had made it clear to him that the war would not end with the fall of the Empire. She wished to pursue Thales and his ilk, wherever and however she could, and she doubted they would fall with the Empire. Their web stretched too wide to be bound solely to Edelgard, and it was clear now to him that she was merely their figurehead. It was true that her dreams and desires were her own, and she was using their power just as much as they were using her status, but still... It was that mage, that cursed mage who had brought down the Tragedy of Duscur, and he wished him dead as sorely as Raine did. The war would not end until he and the rest of his kind were put into the ground, and he fully supported this idea, even if he knew it would be a task far beyond just him and the men of the rebellion.

Still... His fingers brushed that silver ring, and he found himself glancing to his father's headstone. A small, painful smile curled at his lips as he wondered what his father would think of him now. He was sure there would be shame, disappointment, but... could there also be pride? At least, if in nothing else, but the choice of the woman he wanted to stand beside him? He did not mind overmuch if there was to be shame and hate sent his way for his failure, for his wrongdoings, for his survival... but he hoped, hoped beyond hope, that Raine at least would be the one thing to bring a smile to the face of the man he had worshipped as a boy.

"She is nothing like the women I imagine you thought of, when you gave me this ring, Father... but I doubt, somewhere deep down inside of me, that you would care. Substance has always been what you judged a person on... Substance, not bloodlines or nobility, and she is far from both." Dimitri once again felt the words escaping his lips without his consent, but for once, he felt calm as he spoke to the nothingness, and saw no ghosts staring back at him with hateful, agonized eyes. There was only that cold, gorgeously engraved stone, and that was something he could look at, could take in, without feeling that lance of pain and guilt. Their whispers, their presences, had ceased for the moment, and because of that small mercy, he found himself feeling safe in speaking the truth. "Starting life as a mercenary, and then to a professor, and then compared to Saint Seiros herself with her gifts... Now, the leader of the rebellion... She may have come from humble beginnings, but now... She stands far and above any nobleman or woman I have ever known... No, she's beyond any sort of comparison I could ever make. I was besotted with her as a boy, and now as a man... She's all I yearn for. All I wish for. If I could give her the world entire, I would... and yet all she asks is that I love her. It seems foolish... Unfair. She asks for so little, when she deserves so much more."

Yet, as Dimitri smiled fondly at the thought of her, was that not really a part of her charm? That even as she was, with so much power at her fingertips, commanding so many men and women who listened to her every word with complete faith... Her wants were so simple. Her wishes even moreso. She was a mercenary at her core no matter where life had taken her, and it had taken her far from all she had ever known, but she had not really changed at all. She was still that kind, patient and gentle professor that had taken his heart and made him waver when nothing in the world had managed to do so, and now... "I wish to marry her, Father... If I could, I'd beg your blessing. Now, I can only hope that you would give it to me. Of course, I know that I cannot do so until all this ends, until I can promise her something concrete, and not mere empty words and gestures... but I know she is the one I wish for. She's spent so much time guiding me, pulling me away from the dark, and back onto the right path... I wish to spend the rest of my life showing her my gratitude, and giving her a lifetime of peace and happiness in return."

He closed his eyes as he pulled his hands free of his pockets, and he again felt that sharp stinging reminder that what he wished for was not what he deserved. Yet, he was beginning to rationalize it, beginning to understand what Rodrigue had said that if he could not find it in himself to live for his own will... then he could live for another, and that would be more than acceptable. He could not say he deserved freedom or happiness. Not after all he had done... but the same could not be said for her. "I still am a monster... and when I leave here, I know I will hear your voice again in my ears, and see you again in my nightmares. You will always haunt me... and I accept that as my punishment. I will not block my ears, nor will I look away... I will do all I can to ensure a better future, but more than that... I will make her happy. I will live for her, to make her wishes come true, to give her peace and safety and comfort... and I believe that will be enough for me. In truth, it's... all I wish for. She could make me her slave, and I would live and die a happy man..."

Silence fell again, save for the whistle of the wind, and Dimitri watched the stones ahead of him for what felt like an eternity. They gave him no reply, but he had not expected, nor wanted one... and he had found himself running short of things to say. He could feel a pull deep in his stomach, urging him to turn on his heel and return to the castle, and he let out another long breath as he ceded to it. He had done all he could do tonight... In the morn, he would return with the proper gifts to lay on their graves, but for now, he had other business he needed to return to. He bowed his head thrice, once for each headstone, before he turned away, following the faded footsteps in the snow that would lead him back to the castle.

The trip back was mercifully quiet, with the wind at his back and no longer stinging at his face as he made his way back up the hill and through the large, sprawling courtyard. Snow covered everything he could see, but it was a welcome sight to him. How long had it been, since he had seen such an expanse of clear, white snow spreading out in every possible direction he could look? Faerghus had somehow, in the past five years, become a distant sort of dream to him. He had lost touch with his homeland, with his birthplace, and he had forgotten how much he had come to miss it. Everything was comfortingly familiar, welcoming him home with open arms, and yet... It didn't quite feel right to him.

As the castle came back to fill his vision, he caught a glimpse of a head of familiar seafoam-green hair on the balcony that he had been planning to slip back into the party from. He caught himself short, wondering momentarily why she had left the gathering, and then feeling a bittersweet pang in his chest as that somewhat empty feeling vanished abruptly from him. She was what had been missing from it all, even if it was his home he had returned to. Of course it hadn't felt completely right without her. It made him smile ruefully, as he took the steps two at a time, and he wondered how she could make him feel so strong, and yet also so incredibly weak.

"Raine."

She turned abruptly at his call, eyes widening momentarily before her expression softened into a smile at his appearance. She was leaning on the balcony, looking for all the world as if she belonged there, and he felt that familiar pulse of possessiveness that made him want to ensure that she did despite it all. He noted the redness in her cheeks, the thinness of her normal clothing against the cold wind of his homeland, and as she began to greet him, he stopped her short as he shrugged from his own cloak and dropped it over her shoulders without preamble. She blinked, surprised, and he offered a small smile before she folded the overlarge garment across her front and remarked with a small laugh, "If you keep giving this to me, you'll have to be well prepared when I start stealing it myself when you aren't looking."

"If you wish to have it, you may. Especially considering how ill-dressed you are for the climate. I'd prefer to be without a cloak than see you ill. I'm much more used to the weather here than you. It may be spring, but it still grows frightfully cold in Fhirdiad." Dimitri answered just as lightly, and he reached idly to wrap his arm about her waist to draw her close. She came willingly, leaning against his broad chest, and he slid his hand down her arm, finding her cold hand to wrap his own snugly about it. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, asking idly as she snuggled firmly into his embrace with the knowledge that no one was about to witness them, "How long have you been out here?"

"Perhaps an hour. Maybe an hour and a half? I was speaking to Warin shortly before you arrived. We had a talk that was long coming." Raine answered honestly, and when she felt Dimitri stiffen uncertainly, she curled her fingers through his and delivered a comforting squeeze. She nestled a little closer, relishing the warmth of both him and his cloak before she explained gently, "It's all right. There was no arguing or scolding... We just had... lost touch with each other. There was a lot we needed to talk about. Things we both needed to say to one another... but... I think things will be fine between us now."

"I'm glad to hear it." Dimitri replied honestly, and from the look on her face, one of mixed relief, affection and peace as she spoke of her brother, he knew that she was speaking the truth. He had seen the tension between the two of them, felt Warin's anger at war with his own shame and disappointment, and though he had hoped the two siblings would find a way to patch the gap between them, he had known it was not his place to intercede. Warin still held a great deal of contempt for him. He very well likely would for the rest of his life. He could accept that, and would accept that, so long as it did no harm to Raine. "The two of you are much stronger together than you could be apart."

"Funny you say that... He said a similar thing of the two of us during our conversation."

At that, Dimitri blinked and pulled back, not quite sure if she was jesting with him, and not quite sure if he would prefer if she was. She looked up at him with a little smile, her eyes glittering with honest affection, and she reached to squeeze his forearm reassuringly when he frowned down at her uncertainly. She stepped in close again, nestling herself back where she had been before she continued for him softly, calmly, "I know the two of you had your... moments. And I'm sure there may be more ahead. But you ought to know that for now, my brother approves of you. Of us. He has no intention of telling me what to do, or who I can or can't see. He's not the type, even if he is very protective of me. He respects my autonomy enough to let me do as I please, so long as what I'm doing won't lead me to harm. And he's agreed that you aren't about to hurt me."

Dimitri said nothing for a long moment, now thoroughly unsettled and not entirely sure what it was he could say to such a proclamation. It wasn't true. Not in the slightest. He was doing his best for her, he could say that with honesty, but he had already hurt her. To give him a chance to do it again, with his seal of approval no less... It made him shake his head slowly, uncertainly as he managed to reply in a mutter, "And all that happened before...? He thinks that acceptable?"

"Of course he doesn't... but are you treating me as you did before?" Raine answered him with a sharp jab in the ribs, and Dimitri winced despite himself. She either had spectacularly good aim, or had truly regained every ounce of her former strength now, and she looked up at him, her expression certain and her eyes so calmly sure. It made him wilt, and she reached up to brush his bangs back away from his face, allowing her fingers to linger lovingly on the thick black fabric that covered up his scarred eye before she continued firmly, "My brother and I both know that you don't intend to sweep the past several moons underneath the rug and pretend they never happened... but I've told him that punishing you further won't do you any good. No one will be able to punish you worse than you're punishing yourself. There's no point in trying. You're aware of your wrongdoings. You've claimed them as yours, and you're doing all you can to undo the damage. That takes effort and will, and sincerity. He knows you love me, and you'll be doing all you can for me going forward... That's all he wants to see. And, according to him, your efforts are already bearing fruit, so there's even less of a reason to take you to task anyway."

"If he believes so, then I... I suppose there's nothing for me to do but accept it as well, then." Dimitri replied uncertainly, and he truly was at a loss as Raine stroked her fingers again through his hair and leaned against his chest. He held onto her automatically, instinctively pressing her even closer, and her touch was warm and comforting. He turned his face against her palm, nuzzling her warming skin before he sighed into her fingers. He wasn't sure what to do with this news. What to do with all of the flood of support and well-wishes and approval. It knocked him far and away from what he was used to, and as good as he admitted it felt... There still was that pang of guilt that it was not yet truly won or deserved. He confessed as she reached to curl her other arm about his neck, drawing him down for a long, honest embrace that brought him nuzzling his cheek to her own, "It... It isn't as if I'm glad to hear it, as I am, yet... I don't quite know how to answer. It's all... very conflicting. It may be that way for a long time. Will that be a bother to you? My not knowing how to handle these... gestures?"

"It won't be a bother to me, so long as you accept at least some of them before spurning it as something you haven't earned. You've done good already for both me, and your own people. I understand if you don't find it adequate, but not everyone sees things as you do. If my brother says you've proven yourself trustworthy, then I'm inclined to believe him." Raine pointed out gently, and she squeezed him close momentarily before letting go so she could get a good look at his face. Her hands drifted down his arms, slowly tracing her way down back to his hands before she slid her own back into his grasp. He looked quite lost and out of sorts, but she understood that well enough. It had been a difficult few days for him, even if they had been days of celebration and victory. He was still working. He would be working for the rest of his days. But that was all right by her. He would not be carrying his burden alone. "Besides, even if he didn't... I told you I'd walk beside you for as long as this path remains yours. Warin isn't about to make me turn around and abandon you. He doesn't have that kind of sway over me."

"Very well... I won't say anything further, then, if that's your conclusion." Dimitri allowed, and any ideas or wants he had to argue were far and distant anyway. The sounds from inside of the castle's ballroom were still at full volume, and though the moon was rising up high into the night sky now, he doubted it would be quieting anytime soon. There was much to be celebrating, after all, and everyone needed the release. For himself, however... His thumbs rubbed errant circles into the backs of her hands as he held them tightly in his own, and his voice was low, musing as he began, "I'll admit, I've no real desire to go back inside to attend to the others... Are you of the same mind?"

"I could be persuaded to skip out on the rest of the celebration." Raine allowed with a small, but quickly growing smile as she caught that warm, wanting look in his eye as his hands clasped her own a bit more firmly. He had kept to his word of returning before the party ended, and it didn't seem as if anyone was actually missing them from the din that was still continuing on behind them. It wouldn't exactly be professional of them to slip away, but she was rather certain the two of them were due for a little slacking off in that department. One night would cause no trouble, at least. "Do you have somewhere else in mind to be right now?"

"You know full well that I do." Dimitri answered her with a chuckle, and he reached up to stroke her cheek as she shared in his laughter despite the half-hearted attempt at scolding. It didn't seem to matter that they had been spending most nights together since he had visited her in her quarters several weeks before... They were both admittedly greedy, wanting to catch up on all those missed and ignored moments they could have had, if things had somehow been different when they had met again, all those moons ago. They were aware they had to have been noticed, were likely being judged, but to Dimitri, so long as she was still willing... He tweaked her ear playfully, making her laugh at the ticklish sensation before he leaned down to catch her lips with his before he answered, "Come with me, then, my beloved. Let me show you my home and share it with you as long as we're able. Tonight you can lie with me in my bed... We won't be disturbed so easily there."

"Mmm... That does sound nice." Raine mused softly, and she allowed for him to lead her away and out of the cold, sidestepping the ongoing celebration for a cleverly hidden door that led right into the hallway, rather than the ballroom. Dimitri's hand was tight on her own even as they walked side-by-side throughout the castle's halls, not so much leading as he was guiding her, and she admired that calm look on his face as their fingers interlaced and held on tightly with each step they took together. He was well and truly home, in his element as the future king of Faerghus, and she admittedly could not be happier for him. After all he'd suffered through, after all he would continue to suffer through... He deserved this happiness, simple and small as it was... and if she could do anything to make it better... She intended to do so. Both for him, as well as for herself.

AN:

It's one of those days, and been one of those weeks. I'm extremely tired and feeling sick, so I sadly don't have a lot to be saying. I've been a bit stuck in FE, (as I've been focussing so heavily on one chapter, so there's been a lot of things I've been replaying and re-watching) so I'm glad to be moving on to Derdriu, Claude and the rest of the standard plotline, as much a I really enjoy my fluff with two characters in sore need of it. Sadly, I'm on a schedule, and I would like to see AM done. It's just a matter of giving myself a kick in the arse and working on through the slump. Once I'm better, I'm sure I'll feel more up to writing and gaming.

Anywhosit, this was the long-awaited chat between Warin and Raine, and I'm hoping I did them both justice. It's amusing, as the two characters are so ideologically opposed, but still incredibly close and loyal to one another despite it. (Whereas Aidan and Eve in my Fates works were twins, and never had much reason to argue.) I like the dynamic between these two and want to write much more of it... Thankfully, Derdriu, as well as the infamous parley scene, will give me plenty to work with once I get there. Heheheh, I'm really excited for that particular bit, even though having to replay it and write out the script again might make me want to bash my head into a wall. Ah well. Suffering for our art. -laughs-

Anyway, there's always more to come, and I'm thankful as always for your continued reading. Another short author's note, but my eyes are crossing, and if I write much more, I'm probably gonna devolve into typing with webdings. Anyone but me remember webdings? I feel really old. -hit with a frying pan- So! Please drop a review should you feel the need, and I'll see you with my next chapter soon. Have a good one, as always!

PS: Due to the quarantine, I figured I'd just let everyone know that what's bothering me has been mostly medication and stress related, and not the problem that's currently rampaging across the world. I am not that kind of sick, though it hasn't been doing my mental health any favours, hence the longer wait than usual for this chapter. I'm isolated at home anyway because of my disability, which also unfortunately means I won't be seeing my fiancée for awhile due to the border closures. It's hard to stay motivated, as well as rested and energetic, but I will be working my way through it, day by day. Y'all stay healthy and safe as well!

PPS: The next chapters will be all revolving around fixing certain... narrative devices that have popped up since this fanfic is currently en route to be melding with other routes and their storylines. This means that Claude will be dropping in soon (not next chapter, but the one afterwards), and as with Edelgard even further down the line, I want to remind everyone that how I view and write a character likely will not be in line with how everyone else does. If this bothers or concerns you, you are free to say so, but please do not be rude or aggressive when you do so. Edelgard, Claude, and Dimitri are all highly divisive characters with no shortage of fans as well as problems, and juggling the lot of them with how I view them, along with the plot of the story, and their current roles in the canon means that things are going to get messy. This is the nature of human bonds, as well as the situation that everyone is currently in, regardless of their motivations or not... Anywhosit, consider this a little head's up of what's to come soon!

Mood: Sick.

Listening To: "BE Zero" - Hilcrhyme (Cagaster of an Insect Cage OP)

~ Sky