Chapter 4

Kate came downstairs the next morning and found Rick standing at the picture window gazing out over the backyard. In winding paths, raindrops rolled steadily down the glass, blurring the gray of the day beyond, and from nearby a gentle music played over the scene like a soundtrack. It was a piano, nothing more, and while independent of one another the sight and the sound were beautiful to her, together, sharing that space and that moment, they were magic personified.

Between her socked feet and mind and body not altogether free of the cobwebs of sleep, her arrival was quiet, and if he was aware of her presence it wasn't acknowledged, so she chose to leave his peace undisturbed, but to linger there in the background and to savor with him a rare offering of stillness. Inside the bubble of that unfamiliar winter place, it felt as if they were the only two people in the world.

"Hey," she announced herself after a short while and moved into the room.

Rick glanced over his shoulder then turned, a mug in his grip. "Hey, yourself." They each crossed toward the middle and met at the island. "You must've caught some good Zs last night. You look…refreshed this morning."

It'd happened so many times before and he nearly slipped again, nearly said beautiful, managing at the last second to ad-lib a passable substitute, one that didn't cross any lines she might not want crossed, but thinking it and not saying it continued to test his already depleted supply of restraint every time he saw her.

Kate was already showered and comfortably dressed, her face clean and her hair left wet. It wasn't a version of her he'd often been treated to, and because of it he let his gaze hold a bit longer, his mind wander a bit further.

"The bathroom in my room is like being at a spa. There are massage jets and music speakers in the shower. I could've stood there for hours."

Rick went to the coffee machine and poured a cup for her, returned with it.

"For the right offer Paula might sell the place to you," he joked. "The commute would suck but real estate unfortunately does involve some compromise. There's milk and creamer in the fridge for that if you want. I made a run over to the store when I got up and picked up a few things."

Kate doctored hers with the latter, pulled out a stool, and sat. "If I worked until I was a hundred, Castle, I still probably couldn't afford even a quarter of this house," she said then studied him a beat. "You don't look refreshed, you look tired."

"Yeah, I was up and down all night. More up than down."

She was also, but doubted it was for the same reason, and she was clearly better at hiding it.

"I heard you a couple of times," she told him. "I wasn't sure you'd want the company."

"Well, Detective, allow me to help clear up any potential future uncertainty by saying that if the company is yours, I'll always want it." His weary eyes crinkled sweetly above the rim of his mug. "I bought us some bagels for breakfast. Sorry I wasn't up for doing a big, fancy spread, though I do think I saw some French words on the container of cream cheese, so they may just be bagels, but they'll have a touch of class."

Kate softly laughed.

"You don't have to be sorry. I don't need you to cook for me, Castle."

"No, of course, you don't," he thought aloud more than responded, and there was something in the way he did, something that struck, a perceived bite in his tone she couldn't let go by.

"Why do you say it like that?"

"Like what?" His brow dipped. "I don't think I said it like anything," he countered and reached for the bagels, let the bags drop between the two of them. "It doesn't exactly come as a surprise anymore to hear there's something you don't need me for if that's what you mean. The teacher has taught the student well."

The smile he gave her was put on and they both knew it.

"Castle—"

"I found a toaster in one of these before I went out earlier," he cut in. "Hang on a sec. Yep, jackpot!"

Crouching in front of a set of low cabinets, Rick raised the thing high up over his head as though he were showing off a won trophy, but Kate was already too deep inside her own head to take any notice.

xxxx

It was midway through their second movie viewing of the afternoon when Rick excused himself from the room to take a phone call. With the break, Kate got up to stretch her legs and the rest of her stiffened muscles. For a sofa she imagined came with a price tag that would drop her mouth to the floor, her body found it about as comfortable as sitting on a pile of rocks.

To combat the aches, she wandered a slow circle around the room, ended up at the built-in bookshelves that lined the den's far wall. They held an impressive collection, not only in its number but in its arrangement, she noticed, with its entirety alphabetized by author, which made it easy for her eyes to land on the books marked with Rick's name.

With a finger she traced the spine of one that starred Nikki Heat and thought about how far she and Rick had come together, how their journey, in itself the stuff of fiction, was as improbable as the name of the character she'd inspired; yet there they now were in some new place, literally and figuratively, and the chapter being written was a very real one.

"Feel like going for a walk?"

Startled, Kate spun around, stumbled on her feet. She wasn't sure how long he'd been there, but Rick was leaning against the doorframe.

"God, Castle, you scared me. Sorry. Isn't it raining?"

Watching her as she composed herself, the corners of his mouth turned up.

"It is," he confirmed and raised up his hand, "but we're covered. Leave it to Paula to have a thousand-dollar umbrella laying around but to not keep a single spare roll of toilet paper in the joint."

She approached, took the umbrella from him. "Louis Vuitton? Seriously? For that much did it come with a guy to walk with her and hold it?"

"I don't know if it did, but it does now." He tipped his head in a tiny bow. "At your service, and we don't have to go far. Or I can go alone, that's fine, too. I could just use a dose of fresh air for a few minutes."

"No, I'll go." She handed it back. "Safety in numbers in case a gang of raccoons pops up," she quipped and walked past.

"What, you think they'd be wearing those masks if they weren't up to no good?"

"I'll meet you at the front door, Castle," she replied around a smile.

At the gate at the end of the driveway and weather permitting, they set off into the grass intending to loop the property's boundary. Rick angled his head up, checked to be sure he still had Kate soundly protected from the rain, and despite the verification inched a bit closer for good measure.

"You've been quieter since we left. Was everything okay with Alexis?" Hers was the phone call he'd stepped away from the movie to take.

He set a hand at her back, helped guide her around a puddle.

"Minus a point for quiet, plus a point for chivalrous. Puts me back to even," he asserted.

"Back to even with one point?" She snickered. "Imagine."

"Wow, kicking a man while he's down. I didn't think that was your style, Detective." As they walked on, he began to feign a limp. "Maybe we should head in so I can put some ice on this. Alexis is fine," he added when his little performance yielded no reaction. "She's upset with me right now, but other than that."

Kate glanced over but his focus remained ahead.

"Why, because you're here?"

"She and my mother don't know where here is. They think I'm in the Hamptons because that's what I told them. It was easier than having them ask me more questions I didn't have answers to." When the rain picked up again, he steered their course toward the house. "Alexis wants me to be done. This"—he lifted his injured arm, lowered it—"she says should make the decision for me to be done no decision at all, and she doesn't like that my opinion on that differs from hers."

Time and again the same thought had visited Kate, though of late with greater frequency and impact due to the ever-growing depth of their bond. The notion of his walking away from their partnership pained her, but what she was now as certain about as she'd ever been about anything was that she could work without him, but she couldn't live without him. That reality was unimaginable, and if it meant her letting go of something she loved for someone she loved, that's what she would do.

"Maybe she's right, Castle. Maybe you should think about—"

Still raw from the events and revelations of that week Rick was a walking nerve ending, his defenses heightened to protect, and they did their duty fiercely.

"Is that what you want? You want me to quit because I have a scratch on my arm? A bullet from a sniper killed you, Beckett. You died, but you're back out there every day running around with your badge hanging over a hole in your chest."

"That's not fair, and it's not about me. You have a family that loves you and needs you, that doesn't want to lose you, and they almost did. You were lucky this time, Castle, that's all, and putting your life and the rest of theirs on the line isn't part of your job. Alexis and Martha are smart enough to know that. Just because you hear something you don't want to hear doesn't mean you shouldn't hear it."

Kate knew something about that.

When for too long there was nothing but the patter of drops falling onto the umbrella, she started to reach for him but thought better of it and drew back.

"I'm sorry, Castle. I shouldn't have raised my voice. All of this has been hard enough already, and I don't want to fight with you."

"You're right. I let you pick the movies. You should be nicer." The two shared a look, a connecting of affectionate eyes. "I'm the one who should be sorry, and I am. I shouldn't have snapped at you. The last thing I want to do is upset you, too. So," he went on after a cleansing pause, "what do you say we throw these wet sneakers in the dryer for a few minutes and then go find us something to eat in this town, your treat."

She agreed because what else could she do? He let her pick the movies.