A Heartless Nursery

Dash's head was spinning as they left the lab. Could there really be another way to save the world? Could it be true that the Machine, that all of this, was a waste? Impossible. Can't be. I've given everything for this. She didn't know what to believe, but it was clear that this being, this thing was angered by the Factory's operation, and even its existence. She thought about the reading on the detector. The reason it malfunctioned was that it couldn't process the truth, she understood that too well. She somehow felt disloyal to test him like that, as if she betrayed him. That's crap, my duty is to protect this Factory… no, to save the world, and our way of life… from him. And she was running out of options to convince him

Yeshua asked, "Where are the fillies?" The tone of his voice was normal, just as it had been before. It seemed he was letting Dash's behavior slide.

That was a small relief, but their destination was a bigger concern. Nevertheless, Dash gestured ahead, and led the way past the mouth of the device and down an adjoining corridor. She wanted to take advantage of this short moment when they were moving from place to place. Unless he wanted to go looking at bunks and pipes, the tour was almost over. Time was almost up. And she had wasted it, finding other ponies to talk to him and make her case for her. They only ended up arguing, and his mood must be worse now than at the start. And then she had to go and pull that stunt with the detector. She wanted to kick herself. Thank the Princess that she hadn't gotten the psychologist involved.

Dammit, I'm so stupid. He TOLD me what he wanted, he said he wanted to talk to me, not get into a fight with every big talker in the place. His only positive interactions were with her and that random guy losing his mind in the chapel. Apparently he liked pitiful creatures more than big egos.

"Hey, you know, when I said I'm doing okay, I meant that I can deal with it," she said in friendly tone. She slowed down to drag out the moment.

He turned his face to her, showing more interest than before.

"It's really hard, of course it's hard. This is not a job, that, like, anybody wants. I don't like doing it, I don't like seeing it, I don't like talking about it. I was really losing it for a while there. It's really tough, but I guess I got tougher. Now I'm taking some pills and controlling my breathing. Exercise and diet help. I mean, I'm still having trouble sleeping, but now I can focus again."

To her surprise, he just listened to her. When she trailed off, he didn't have some kind of witty comment or objection to anything. Maybe she was getting somewhere now.

She took a deep breath and continued, "I feel really bad sometimes, and I miss my friends. I can't really talk to them about this. I mean, they're happier if they don't know." It wasn't easy being vulnerable, but she see in his eyes that he was really empathizing with her. "I can't really go back to my old life. I said I'm okay because I can deal with it, and I'd rather not pass this off to someone else."

Now she had to turn all of this into a positive. "I was asked to be a part of this, to run this place. I go through all that, and I stick with it because we need this. This is what I'm supposed to do, it's my duty. And if you look past how ugly it is, it's a good thing for everyone. It's not for us in the factory, it's so everyone else can live a normal, happy life."

"I mean, even for the fillies, it's like we're doing them a favor," she rationalized. "They're the ones that everybody picks on, they're poor, some of them have disabilities. Nobody wants them. I mean, they just won't be able to live up to anyone's expectations in life, and I think they'd be pretty miserable growing up like that in the city."

Yeshua pointed out, "Fluttershy got picked on a lot growing up, and she really struggled in flight school. If the Factory were operating back then, she might not still be here."

"But-" she objected. She thought that was really unfair to say, but she couldn't explain how that was different. "Things were different then. And Fluttershy…" how could she even describe, Fluttershy didn't belong in the same world as this place. "She's a special case."

He replied as only someone who knows her could, "Yes, she really is."

"But you know, I'm protecting her." That felt true, really true. I'm even protecting her from myself. "She needs this like everyone else, but she's so gentle and it would really hurt her to know what goes on, even if it's for her own good."

"I'm working really hard to make this place better. It's hard on all of us, not just me. That's why I got more medical support, and mental health stuff. And not just the workers. After the little riot we had—I'm assuming you know about that…" She winced as she said it. There was just no nice way to put it.

She tried anyway. "After that I had second thoughts about the way we take care of the fillies while they're waiting. Well, I mean, we didn't really take care of them at all, they were just out in the open and saw everything. It really scared them and made them…" Truth is it made them panic and try to escape, and one of them almost did escape. She really was speaking from the heart, but it felt like she was making excuses. "It made them do things that could get them hurt. It didn't feel right. So I built them a safe waiting area, like a nursery. Little groups of them wait in their own cute little rooms, and everyone's nice to them until their time comes up. I'm not doing any of this out of malice, okay? I mean, everyone deserves a last meal, right, and I just wanted their time here to not be so bad." As she finished, they arrived at the door to the holding area.

"So you made them a nice little jail," he summarized flatly.

"Well yeah, what was I supposed to do." She swiped her access on the lock and swung the door open but stood still. "There, you can see it. But we don't need to go in."

"What, and miss the good part?" he asked, as if he had been looking forward to coming here.

Dash didn't like that. "I mean, I usually stay out. Watching them, seeing their faces, just makes what we have to do so much harder."

"Not really," he said. "Getting to know them makes it easier to do the right thing."

As he stepped toward the doorway, she reflexively blurted, "Wait!" She had a hunch, an almost overwhelming certainty that it would be impossible to stop the flow of events once he entered. She sensed that, whatever he had in mind, he would be compelled to carry out if he was around the little inmates for anything more than the briefest moment. "Please, I mean, you might disturb them."

"You think that my plans will change if I spend time with them and get attached to them. That was my plan all along. That's why I came to spend time with you as well, before I do what must be done."

She fell stone silent as he walked past her into the heartless, sterile nursery. He had guessed her thoughts, exactly, again. He knew her. For so long, she had struggled along, but pushed forward, only to do what she had to do. What must be done. That's what she always told herself before erasing small helpless beings from existence. Was that it, then? Was he going to get rid of her? Was she just helpless, just an object of wrath to be pitied, walking ignorantly to her inevitable demise?

She followed after him, watching him. It really was built like a jail. Locked doors and windows of one way glass lined the wall, to observe and access the inmates. The open part was built like a hospital or school, but each cell was brightly decorated with cutesy themes. Inside, the colorful young ones sat on the floor, paced about, and whispered to each other. There were no more than five kids in each room, and due to the walls and special windows they couldn't see or hear what happened to the other groups. Even if one batch got out, they would be outnumbered and contained within the holding area.

One of the staff shut the entrance to the factory floor behind them and ensured that it locked. Several guards milled about the holding area. Ostensibly they were supposed to keep watch on the inmates, but their eyes were dulled with boredom. They all straightened up and pretended to be alert as soon as Dash walked in.

Their presence should have made her feel more secure, but she only felt more tense. It didn't quite make sense. If that's what he meant, why did he want to see them, and see her? It's as if he was asking her to change his mind. So was she supposed to play cute and try to be lovable, like a dog at a pound? Did he want her to grovel for her life? The very thought made her mad. But I didn't do anything wrong. I do what they tell me to do. I do what I'm supposed to even when it's hard. That's what loyalty means, right?

Maybe she was supposed to beg for her life, but that never worked for these kids, so why would it work for her? Maybe that was the point. And yet as cold as that would be, his face was telling a different story. As he gazed into those windows, the sharpness and intensity had turned to mush, to kindness and maybe deep sadness. "Where do they come from?" he asked.

"At first we were taking outcasts, abandoned, a lot of flight test failures. But then—demand kept going up. It wasn't enough. What can I say, pegasi are born to fly. Orphanages. Celestia expanded the orphanages in Cloudsdale, and made it easier for anyone to leave their kid anonymously. It's kinda… takes a lot of pressure off unprepared single mothers. Frees 'em up to pursue their careers and stuff… we've gotten a lot more productive. Instead of throwing society off balance, these foals end up restoring the harmony of it all. That's what they say."

They came to the batch which was first up for processing. They had just been gagged and hog tied. Some were struggling, others were crying.

He stopped, and motioned to one of them. The boy pegasus was light tangerine with a brighter orange mane, but a red-purple tone showed on the side of his face, where he had obviously been struck. "Why is that one bruised?" Yeshua asked, offended.

The colt did indeed appear to have been handled far more roughly than necessary. Dash lied, "I don't know." Lobo, you idiot. "That's not how we normally do things." She knew it was him, even though she'd told him to stop, and ordered the other guards to keep him in line. They were more confused than anything by her desire to protect the subjects, and a couple of them were his friends, or more accurately members of his gang.

Without looking away from the fillies, Yeshua said, "Have the guards wait outside. I don't want any interruptions."

"I'm… really not sure about that." Dash tried to figure out if he would really try some sort of jailbreak, or if the guards could actually stop him.

"You can have them block all the exits if you want," he offered. "Don't worry, I won't let any of the kids out of their rooms. They'll be safer where they are, for now."

She thought about it. This would make everyone suspicious that something was going on, but something WAS going on. After all, she could use an out, a backup plan. "Alright, fine. Just give me a moment." He nodded, and seemed content to wait with the fillies. She spoke louder in her boss voice, "Everybody come with me, we are taking a break in the mess hall." They were confused, but when she moved toward the back door they filed out behind her.

As soon as they were all out, she shut the door. She zipped over to the nearest worker and got in his face, speaking quietly but intensely. "Tell Lobo I might need his special assistance. And tell Doctor Atmosphere his detector works just fine. There is no Ironshoe. You got that?"

The worker went stiff, his eyes wide with confusion. "What?"

"You don't have to get it, just tell them." She paused until he nodded. "Tell them to be ready, but don't do anything stupid until I say so. Go." He stepped away slowly, rehearsing the message, then turned and galloped away.

She spoke up loudly again. "NO ONE opens the door to the nursery until I come out. Got it?" She waited until they acknowledged, then slipped back into the ward.

He was waiting patiently, not even looking her way, just staring at the glass like he was window shopping for puppies.

If he suspected anything, he didn't show it. She took the moment of silence to review her options. She didn't know for sure that he could be overpowered. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that. When he revealed himself the first time, his aura was overwhelming. Maybe he wasn't even here to do anything, but that seemed unlikely. Why come here of all places, just to talk?

But she did have one more opportunity to convince him, in the neophyte room. No victim, no crime. If he just gives us more time, we'll fix all of this ourselves. That's a good pitch, right? As long as no idiots barged in and interrupted them, that was still her best chance.

In fact, she wondered if she was his greatest weakness, since he seemed to take some sort of a weird liking to her. Guys are such creeps. She looked back to him, as he gazed at the little ones with the face of an incurable softie. Okay, so maybe I'm thinking about Lobo. Ugh, I can't believe they let him come in here and make me look bad.

"I'm going in with them," Yeshua said to her. "Do you want to join me?"

She avoided his eyes and found herself speechless. Why would you even ask? She shook her head in frustration. "We can look just fine from here. All you're gonna find in there is more heartache."

He gave a breath that might have been a sigh, moved to the door, and pulled the latch.

As he stepped inside, Dash knew this was a very bad detour, one that could derail the whole thing. She stayed in the hall, waiting to lock the door behind him. She would have no part in this toxic encounter.

Dash's guts began to twist in knots. She wondered if that was because of the tension, or because of her condition. It always triggered in this room. She hated coming here because certain memories were harder to suppress when she got close to the fillies. She reached for the extra chill pill she kept in her jacket pocket and swallowed it without water. She didn't need feelings, she needed to be sharp.