Chapter 11
With Naruto
Despite having his home moved to the island. Naruto would sometimes sleep in a cave while in dragon form. The Dragon of the Apocalypse would for some reason find comfort and a sense of familiarity in a cave rather than a traditional cave. At the same time, his animal familiar lied near him and also slept for the night. Seemingly unaware of Marianne peaking around the corner while giggling to herself.
'I'm surprised he hasn't detected me yet. I hope Hans and Atalanta don't ruin things and expose me.' Marianne thought.
The woman was tempted to reach out to the gigantic dragon. Only to hold herself back and shake her head. All the while she looked at the night sky and hummed to herself.
'I do have to thank mother. These false bodies work wonders.' Marianne thought before frowning. 'Oh no, Maggie is whining.' she thought before reaching into her jacket and pulling out a box.
Marianne gently put down the box before quietly backing up. Once she was a long distance away, she started to run into the forest. Where no ordinary person could see or detect her. With that done, Naruto would wake up in the morning to open the mystery gift. Only after forcing his sidekicks to open it out of suspicion that one of them was trying to prank him.
Naruto was not the type to enjoy pranks aimed at him. Which the three sidekicks were known for.
The next morning, with the final four
Waking up in the middle of nowhere, Duncan and the rest of the campers find themselves in bed and stranded. Looking around in confusion and frustration. The final four wonder what sort of torture Chris has planned to put them through. When their answer came in the from a helicopter floating over them and Chef jumping down from said helicopter.
"Rise and shine maggots!" Chef yelled.
"Please don't tell me it's another army challenge." Gwen begged.
"Wrong, but it doesn't mean I'm suddenly going soft on you!" Chef replied before two bags fell behind him.
Everyone sighed at the realization that they are now lost in the woods. With Chef most likely having them wander around the woods until reaching the goal point he's about to mention. Along with any other rules the military veteran is about to cover.
"The rules are simple, you will be going in two teams. Team 1, Delinquent and Chubby. Team 2, Grim and Grimmer." Chef said as he gave both teams their respective bags. "Everything you need are in these bags. All you need to do is make it back to camp and touch the totem pole. Which won't be easy, especially when traveling at night. Unless you have night vision goggles like these." he explained as he pulled out a pair of goggles.
Suddenly Duncan held onto Chef for dear life, "Please don't leave us! We'll probably die!" he cried out.
Chef shoved Duncan away and shook his head at how pathetic Duncan acted. Even the others looked surprised by how Duncan reacted at the thought of being abandoned in the woods. However, Heather started to feel suspicious since Duncan acted far too cowardly than he normally wood. After everything he's been through, traveling blindly would be the least of his problems.
"There's no timer set, but move your butts north of here where the camp is at." Chef said before grabbing onto the helicopter's latter.
Once gone, Duncan grabbed the bag and started running with Owen. Leaving the girls behind to check their inventory before making any hasty reckless decisions. A moment later, they heard Owen screaming about missing food. Which made sense as the girls found everything to survive minus food and a map.
"Actually, we have some energy bars." Gwen said.
"That will have to do. So will this compass, Chef said that we need to go north right?" Heather asked as Gwen nodded.
With Naruto
Flying high in the sky, Naruto was currently carrying Kanna on his back. Initially, the dragon was just hoping to find some peace by himself in the woods. Only to find Kanna eagerly wanting to tag along on what she thought was a camping trip. Now, he was finding a good spot to land and start exploring.
"Did you eat before we left Kanna? I don't want you feeling lethargic." Naruto said in his booming voice.
"Yes papa." Kanna answered.
"Good, because I didn't prepare any cooked meals." Naruto said before finding a good spot.
Upon arrival, Naruto reverted to his human form and placed Kanna over his shoulders. As the two took a small trip down a river stream. Where they suddenly found Duncan and Owen climbing up a hill. Naruto scratched his head in confusion as he wondered what those two idiots were up to. Then again, Naruto is one of the few people who met the real King Solomon, son of King David. With all the divine wisdom that no human could have ever achieved through natural means, Naruto knew one thing.
Never offer wisdom to a fool, because the fool will disregard said words. That and it's always a waste of time to speak to a fool.
"Papa, what are they doing?" Kanna asked.
"Look away Kanna, their stupidity is infectious." Naruto said as Kanna nodded.
As the father and daughter continued to travel. They overheard Gwen and Heather mentioning something about a compass. Thanks to having amazing hearing due to their draconic biology, the two could hear them clearly despite being so far.
"Hey ladies, you're going the wrong way." Duncan said as he prepared to mock them.
"I don't think we are." Heather said.
"What makes you said that?" Gwen asked.
"Check you map." Duncan said.
"I would if we had one, but we do have a compass. Which says this way is north." Gwen said.
From there, Naruto put down Kanna and covered her ears to muffle Duncan's cursing. As he soon realized that the girls moved ahead of the boys. No thanks to Duncan's poor sense of direction and poor attempt at reading the map despite Owen's earlier suggestion.
"Luxuries, those two have it easier at their age and with their resources." Naruto said.
"Why do you say that papa?" Kanna asked.
"Because they weren't at your age. Well your mental age and without parents." Naruto said as he remembered his own life.
Kanna felt curious, "Papa, I know you don't like your childhood, but I wanna ask. Did you like anyone from your home?" she asked.
Now this felt like a strange question coming from his daughter, "All the good people are buried and transcended Kanna." Naruto said cryptically.
"Not even a real friend?" Kanna asked.
Naruto pondered it for a moment, 'The only human with a form of decency? Irene, no she doesn't count.' he thought. "Maybe, there is one. From an unlikely clan with lots of bad people." he said as he vaguely remembered one person he tolerated.
"Do you remember them papa?" Kanna asked.
Naruto closed his eyes and nodded, "Nayotake Uchiha." he answered.
Later that evening
After some more traveling as well as exploring. Naruto started to set up a camp fire with Kanna being given permission to find wood and any other potential items they could eat. Naruto snorted as he started remembering the basic lessons his adoptive mother gave him. Lisa was a doctor during her living years and would try to research different ways to help people.
"Papa, I'm back." Kanna said as she came back with some wood and various plants.
Naruto looked over her harvest, "A lot of these things are not edible Kanna." he said as Kanna looked saddened. "Don't pout, your grandma said the same and that helped me do better. Back then, I couldn't swallow poison and survive." he said as he picked out the good and bad.
"What was grandma like?" Kanna asked.
"I already told you lots of stories didn't I? She had the heart of a saint and she wasn't a world class doctor, but she likes to help people instead of focusing on money." Naruto answered as he kept looking.
"Were doctors expensive?" Kanna asked.
"Yes dear, I feel sick looking at modern doctors. Humans have gone far and cured so many diseases they caused. Yet, their own financial support find little loopholes to not pay anything to save money." Naruto explained.
"Huh?" Kanna asked.
Naruto laughed at his own answer, "Okay, maybe that was too complicated. Kanna, some people are so greedy. They promise to give money for medicine, when they want to find an excuse to demand more money and pay for no medicine." he said.
Naruto's Confessional
Naruto gave the camera a blank stare, "Total Drama Island and anyone working or associated with this production does not agree with certain opinions of the cast including myself." He suddenly said.
Then he went silent for a moment for viewers to digest what he said. All the while wondering if someone forced Naruto to say this so insurance comapnies would not file a lawsuit.
"I'm not saying this to defend Mcclaine, I say this so everyone offering affordable healthcare can invest in good lawyers… or in barricades once the locals start demanding your crucifixion." Naruto continued to say.
Back to the show
"But papa, Canada has free hospitals." Kanna said surprising Naruto.
"I gues you're right Kanna. I forgot Canada has Universal Medicine." Naruto said as Canada along with a few other countries have prepaid medicine through collected taxes. Then he realized something, "Wait, since when did you learn that?" he asked.
"Saphie told me." Kanna answered.
"Oh yeah… for someone so brilliant. How did she fall for an idiotic human? What was his name again? Glenn?" Naruto asked as Kanna nodded. "What sort of stupid name is Glenn anyways?" he asked.
"You don't have a problem with Prosperina when she married Pluto." Kanna said.
"That's because I like Prosperina and her personality is strict but fair." Naruto said.
Like so few of his children, Naruto's fifth son is married. Ironically, both have very similar names and this was one of the inside jokes as to why they were married. Named after Hades and his spouse, Hades Pluto Uzumaki is married to a woman named Persephone Prosperina Brimstone. Hades personally attended because he wanted to see how things turned out. He had a good time too.
Still, unlike this Glenn individual, Naruto seems to hold Prosperina in high regards.
Before Kanna could further ask about her brother and sister in-laws. They heard the sounds of screaming, traps and arguing. Leaving Naruto to sigh at the stupidity of the teenagers.
"I know this is a team challenge, I know they are not supposed to work together, but fighting will only make it worse." Naruto said as the fighting in the distance continued.
Kanna sensed the distant hostility and pulled out a small shovel, a bucket and an army helmet. Using all of them to start digging a trench into the ground. Naruto just ignored his daughter's antics as he prepared a dinner with what they had. Doing so for about a half hour until came back without so much as a speck of dirt on her clothes.
"Are you hungry Kanna?" Naruto asked with Kanna answering with a nod.
Once dinner was being served, Naruto heard various explosions right next to them. He quickly grabbed Kanna in a protective manner before seeing the four campers being caught in what looked like a mine field.
"Did you set up explosives too?" Naruto asked with Kanna nodding again. "I see, hopefully those four can learn the real victors of war." he said loud enough for them to hear him.
"And what's that!?" Duncan and Heather asked.
"The vultures always win. They pick up the spoils of what's left of the war." Naruto answered as everyone sighed.
With Chef
While the campers were still very far from camp. Chef chose to relax and enjoy the peace. Right now, some of the interns were setting up a real dinner since there was more space to work with. Without any producers or Chris around, Chef attended the dinner in his finest jacket.
"I think I'll be predictable and pick the bisque." Chef said as he passed the menu back to the waiter.
As Chef waited for his food. He can see how nice the canteen looked now. Instead the dirty old mess hall where he served food to the ungrateful teens. Chef saw entire place redecorated to look more like an uptight restaurant for rich people in the 1920s.
"They better clean this up before the kids get back. I don't want to hear any complaining." Chef said as a second waiter arrived.
"Your appetizer sir." the waiter said.
Before Chef started to eat, he heard a loud clanging in the kitchen along with some plates shattering. The waiter sighed and walked in the kitchen to find a mess.
"Get your act together Souma! Tonight is a busy night!" the waiter yelled.
Chef looked around, "It's not that busy." he said.
It was just Chef along with Pluto and his date in the restaurant. Whatever was going on, Chef ignored it as he started dining. Not caring at what happened, even when a fired appeared to have taken place. As he saw several individuals dressed like firefighters come running in.
"I swear if this is Souma again, I'm going to take the blade of my axe handle and beat him with it!" one of them yelled as they ran inside of the kitchen.
"This is fine." Chef said as he ignored the smoke coming from the kitchen.
When a half burnt waiter came out with his lobster bisque, "Here you go sir, I apologize for the wait and do mind if it tastes overcooked." He said.
Chef shrugged, "This is also fine." he said as the lobster looked completely fine, but a tad bit hot.
"I think your brother is burning the kitchen, love." Pluto's date said.
"I'm sure the firemen can handle it Prosperina." Pluto replied.
While things were still fine in the main dining area. There was a massive fire caused inside of the kitchen by Souma due to him trying a new experiment in between orders. It was hard to explain what happened as they have yet to put out the flames. That and Souma normally does not damage kitchen equipment. So this was a mystery even to him.
Back with Naruto
Now having forced the campers to settle down and being forced himself to share the camp fire. Naruto watched as the teens were still looking annoyed with each other. Except Owen, who combined every energy bar they had left into a giant ball.
"Anyone want a piece?" Owen asked.
"I think I would prefer your sleeping bag." Gwen said.
"Sure thing." Owen said as he gave her his bag while eating the giant energy bar.
Naruto sighed, "Come here Kanna, you're shivering too." he said as Kanna crawled towards him.
Naruto then extended his wings and covered the little girl as he lied back against a rock. All the while, he could see Heather cuddling up to Duncan. Sensing negative intentions as Heather slowly started to pick pocket him and found a map. Naruto was sure that Heather would end up robbing the boys with Gwen likely having no objection out of desperation to win.
'Such is desperation, the need to survive by any means necessary.' Naruto thought before drifting asleep.
The next morning
Kanna woke up feeling startled by Duncan's angry yelling. Prompting the little girl to escape her father's protection and kick the delinquent in the face. Sending him crashing a couple hundred meters away while Owen backed away in fear.
"That's it! Which one of you fools scared Kanna awake!?" Naruto asked angrily.
"It's not our fault! The girls stole our bags and ran away before we woke up!" Owen said defending himself.
"Well you two better hurry, the camp is not too far away by this point." Naruto said before smelling a sweet aroma. "Are those brownies?" he asked.
Owen started to salivate, "Brownies? Those are so mine!" he yelled as he started to run.
Just then, Duncan came back with a limp, "Go Owen! Those things probably lead back to camp!" he said while trying to limp towards the camp.
"Technically, Chef said only one person needs to touch the totem pole." Naruto said which only made Duncan more optimistic.
"Papa! Those brownies are like the ones grandma makes!" Kanna said making her father's eyes go wide.
"Kanna, no." Naruto said.
Only for Kanna to transform into a full dragon and started flying away. Naruto sighed in frustration, he knew his kids loved Echidna's sweets. All of his in-laws too, but they were attracted to them like a cat to catnip. Making them too crazy to ignore such a delicious smell.
"I better stop her before she destroys something." Naruto said before flying after Kanna.
At camp
Marianne cheerfully sat on a chair next to a running fan with some brownies on a tray. The dark haired woman happily hummed herself as she knew Owen would be attracted to the food. Which would most likely make the girls feel desperate to try and win. Adding more tension to the race as a way to end the episode.
'I have to thank mother for taking the time to cook this up.' Marianne thought as she could see Owen running towards her and past the girls. 'Here we come, who will win?' she asked.
When suddenly, several trees shattered as Kanna started flying towards her. Marianne's cheerful face turned into one of sheer shock as Kanna ame flying right at her. Leaving Marianne concerned as to what to do only to hear some loud snarling.
"Brownies! Here I come!" Owen yelled.
*SNARL*
As Owen came closer, he was suddenly pounced on by an infant girl riding a three headed demonic dog. Marianne looked even more surprised before tossing the brownies into the air and running towards the girl.
"Maggie no! get off Cerberus now!" Marianne yelled.
Meanwhile Kanna caught the brownies with her foot and started to fly away towards her own corner. Where reverted to human form and started eating. Leaving Marianne focused solely on moving the dmeonic dog away from Owen. Only to run once Naruto had arrived.
"Maggie!?" Naruto yelled before taking the baby off of Cerberus. "What are you doing here? Where is your mama?" He asked only to receive a sucking sound in return.
Naruto sighed as he looked around wondering how Maggie got here or how Cerberus escaped the underworld. Not noticing that Owen was knocked unconscious or how the girls already won the challenge by touching the totem pole.
"And they won." Naruto said as he heard the girls cheering.
Suddenly, Maggie escaped his arms and started riding around on Cerberus again. Prompting Naruto to chase after his newest child.
"Maggie! That is not a puppy!" Naruto yelled. "Veldora! Pluto! Anna! Everyone get your butts out here and help me save your newborn sister!" he yelled.
As the entire camp was swarmed by Naruto's progeny started to scramble and chase after Cerberus who was being ridden like a dog. Leaving everyone watching in awe as Maggie was practically riding Cerberus as if this were a rodeo.
Heather's Confessional
"I just got here and won and normally I wouldn't care, but what is going on?" Heather asked, confused by the sight of Cerberus and Maggie.
Gwen's Confessional
"I… have never seen anything like that. Was that a newborn baby riding a demon dog?" Gwen asked with wide eyes.
Kanna's Confession
All anyone could see was Kanna eating brownies like the adorable child she is.
At the bonfire
With the craziness having settled down and Maggie being put to sleep. Arrived with the marshmallows and the votes he received form Yuri.
"Well, I'm glad this is over. I can only imagine the sad excuse of survival skills you maggots have. Which I guess is good in it's own way, because I can kick one of you out now." Chef said followed by a loud laugh. "That reminds, there should have been a flute in one of those bags. What happened?" he asked.
"There was a flute?" Heather asked with a look of shock.
Technically, there haven't been any winners in a while. The last winner was Gwen during the hunting challenge. After that, the campers were competing in pairs and it ended with a draw, then Leshawna was kicked off for reasons that they haven't been told yet. So it's more than likely that one of the bags had the flute and was most likely lost during the battle both teams had when trying to steal from each other.
Maybe those energy bars had no worth.
Chef shrugged it off, "Oh well, not my fault. Two of you already got immunity. Now Grim or Grimmer have to leave and I don't wanna see your ugly faces ever again after this." he said.
In his own way, Chef decided that would be the best way to remind them of Chris' rules of elimination.
"Let's get this started. Gwen, Heather, you're both safe and the loser." Chef said as he gave both boys a dirty looks. "It's Duncan." he said as Duncan crossed his arms in disappointment.
Clearly, both girls saw Duncan as more of a potential threat for the next challenge. Leaving Duncan as the next loser on this show.
"I'm sorry Duncan! I'll avenge us!" Owen shouted as Duncan got onboard the Boat of Losers.
The next morning
Naruto walked up to the kitchen and took a deep breath. The show was about to end in the next two episodes. It felt nostalgic in a way and slightly fun in some cases. However, he had one big concern after having reviewed some footage. After Kanna smelled Echidna's baking despite the fact that the woman isn't anywhere near the island. Naruto marched into the kitchen and found Marianne working on pancakes by herself.
"The pancakes will be out in a minute Owen. Please wait before…" Marianne stopped as Naruto grabbed her shoulder.
"I think it's about time you take a break." Naruto said as Marianne stiffened.
"Oh? Lord Naruto, I didn't hear you…"
"Medusa." Naruto said interrupting the woman.
Marianne pouted, "This is why I avoided you. You ruined my fun." she said.
"I never took you for someone who enjoys childish games. Especially by hiding with an avatar like your mother." Naruto said as "Marianne" rolled her eyes.
"I suppose it's the avatar. Some of them come with a random personality." Medusa said with a sigh. "Still, I did my best to be cautious. Not that our more air headed children." she said knowing Milim and a few others wouldn't sense Medusa in the fake body.
Naruto sighed, "That explains how Maggie got loose." he said knowing his wife is never that reckless.
"I think our newborn is a bit too unpredictable." Medusa tried to argue.
"Whatever the reason just… try not to lose focus." Naruto said before leaving the kitchen.
Medusa smiled, "He's in good spirits." she said before continuing to cook.
The food may be specially prepared and delicious, but that won't stop the suffering to come for the campers from what Medusa heard. Though she was now worried that Maggie is likely going to run loose again.
'Maybe I should focus on my real life.' Medusa thought as she kept making pancakes.
At the castle
As the castle was being reorganized as to make sure it looked nothing like the little bit revealed on live television. A certain Tobi clone was skipping around the halls of the castle before waltzing into a museum a special storage room. Where he took quick inventory much to his boredom.
"Tobi could do so much more. Tobi has dreams too." Tobi whined before hearing some glass moving. "Eh? What's that?" he asked as he looked around.
Where he found himself standing near a sarcophagus. Tobi tapped on the ancient coffin and wandered if it grew so old that it started to crack. Not hoping to incur the wrath of his master and creator. The Tobi clone made sure he didn't damage anything as he studied the ancient artifact. Only to notice something inscribed on the side.
Irene Belserion
Tobi scratched his head in confusion before pulling out his clipboard. When suddenly, the sarcophagus started to shake on it's own. Tobi gently poked the sarcophagus with his pen to make sure it wasn't his imagination. Making it shake again in the process.
"Is this a prank? This Tobi hates pranks. Pranks are so cruel, embarrassing and sometimes exceedingly painful." Tobi whined as the sarcophagus continued to change. "Get out of there! I hate jokes!" he yelled before kicking the sarcophagus.
Only to jump up and down on one foot while nursing the other which was in pain. As he cursed his own stupidity at breaking his toes and most likely an ancient artifact which can never be replaced. The lid of the sarcophagus started to nudge slightly, making Tobi feel nervous. As by now, this is most likely not a prank.
"Tobi is getting out of here! Tobi can't battle the undead!" Tobi yelled before running away in terror as to what was awakening.
Later that day
At the stage again, the interns set up a wheel with the photographs of all the previous contestants. The wheel itself will determine a sort of torture through some form of punishment. Though modern day youngsters refer to these as dares. An act of stupidity to force other people into partaking in stupid acts out of pride of which results in embarrassment.
"It's simple yet painful." Naruto said as he saw the stage being finished.
Just then, Kurama arrived wearing a wig and bow tie and started adjusting the sound equipment. The fox gave thumbs up and wink at Naruto who sighed. As the fox tried to set up the stage, Naruto saw a giant metal cargo container being moved behind the stage. Most likely filled with tools or materials required to harm the campers.
"Let's get this started. Only one episode left after this." Naruto said as he moved behind the stage just as Chris arrived.
"Hey little fox, is everything ready?" Chris asked.
Kurama contemplated an answer, only for Bradley to pop out of the floorboard while carrying a blowtorch. The skunk gave the host and Kurama a thumbs up only for a loud spark to be heard under the floorboards. The skunk scratched his head in confusion before giving a shrug. Not caring for a potential safety risk, Chris decided to start filming again.
A brief while later
All three of the remaining contestants arrived and took their seats. Just awaiting for whatever Chris was going to do to physically or mentally harm them. Only to look at the spinning wheel with photos of everyone who had been eliminated up until this point.
"Welcome everyone to, I Triple Dog Dare You!" Chris announced.
"What is this? The Fifth grade?" Heather asked.
Chris shrugged, "I don't know, the producers were out of ideas. So we asked every one who got the boot. It turns out, they have a lot of ideas." he said with a chuckle.
"What next? Seven minutes in heaven in a dirty closet?" Heather asked.
Owen started to laugh, "Yeah, let's definitely do that!" he said with excitement, only to be slapped by Heather.
Chris then started to spin the wheel, "The rules are simple, you spin the wheel and take the dare. If you complete it, you win a freebie to skip a dare. That or you could dare someone else to do it." he explained.
"What if we decline?" Heather asked with a smug look.
Chris shook his head, "Not a good idea. In a nutshell, you automatically get eliminated and lose your chance at 500,000 dollars." he answered. When he remembered something else, "Actually, so you don't think about chickening out or think of a loophole. The challenge has to be done as explained. No accidents or excuses allowed." he said as to add a technicality in his own favor.
With that in mind, everyone was going to wait and see what was in store. When the game started and Chris asked for a volunteer. Gwen hesitantly volunteered herself and spinned the wheel. Landing on a photo of Duncan.
"Duncan's Dare: lick Owen's armpit." Chris said, making everyone wince. "Remember Gwen, do the dare yourself or ask someone else." he said reminding her of the rules.
Gwen smirked, "I triple dog dare Heather." she said as Heather gagged.
Owen slowly raised his arm and revealed his hairy armpit. Heather felt very disgusted and it didn't go past her mind to just back out and forget this. At least until Chris had to remind her that it would count as direct disqualification and she would be sent straight to the Boat of losers.
"Someone has to lick some armpit or go home. Those are the rules." Chris said.
"Just pretend you're licking some ice cream Heather." Owen said.
"Shut up Owen." Heather said as she moved closer to him.
"Minus the BO and the pit hair." Owen said as Heather licked him.
Causing Heather to gag and fall onto her back. As she the disgust of Owen's armpit violated her from her mouth down to her throat. As she started violently tossing herself on the floor.
"Wow, that almost made me want to barf. Almost." Chris said before it was Heather's turn to spin.
When she didn't, it landed on a photo of Ezekiel.
"Ezekiel's Dare: Chew your own toe nail, slowly." Chris said.
Heather immediately dared someone else, "Gwen, I dare Gwen!" she said forcing Gwen to accept the challenge.
Gwen was then forced to sit down as Chef took off her boot. Where he clipped her toenail and placed it onto a plate. Gwen hesitantly took her toenail and started chewing in an attempt to just finish the challenge already. At least until Heather ruined it.
"Do it slowly." Heather said.
Chris did mention technicalities just a few moments ago. Either Gwen would be eliminated for not listening or do it all over again.
"Unless you already swallowed. I can let you redeem yourself with a second toenail if you have any to spare." Chris said as Gwen shivered in fear.
The goth then proceeded to do it slowly. Elimination and retries were the last things she wanted. Still, Gwen passed the challenge and it was finally Owen's turn. Where he took Beth's dare.
"Chew Harold's gum." Chris said as Chef took out the jar.
"I'll take the dare." Owen said without any worry.
"Seriously dude? It's Harold's chewed gum, gum he already he chewed." Chris asked.
"It's fine, Harold was probably saving it for a special occasion." Owen said as Chef fed it to him. Where Owen chewed the gum like this was a wine tasting, "So many flavors, how summery. A fruity aroma with a hint of citrus. With a crunchy center." he said describing the gum.
Everyone was ready to vomit as they theorized that Harold stuck his boogers in his gum. Owen didn't catch onto this rumor as he started blowing the gum like a bubble until it exploded.
"Owen wins the first freebie and a tetanus shot if he wants." Chris said.
Suddenly, there was a small team of medical professionals on the scene. Which Owen politely declined any help from as he accepted a bottle from Chris.
"Hey Chris, what's that one?" Gwen asked as she pointed at the wheel.
Chris looked at the wheel for a moment before realizing the goth meant the blacked out photo.
"That? I think you should wait for that surprise. Trust me, it's real fun… for me anyways." Chris answered with a sadistic laugh.
Gwen tried not to think about it as she took her turn. With the wheel landing on Cody.
"Shove some ice down your underwear and let it melt." Chris announced.
Of course, Gwen rushed with this dare. Immediately shoving several cubes of ice from Chef's bucket down her underwear until they melted. Awarding her with a freebie of her own. Heather was frustrated by seeing a less disgusting task and immediately walked up to the wheel.
"I'm taking the next dare, I don't care what it is." Heather said as she landed on Tyler's dare. "Nothing could be more disgusting by this point. I already licked Owen's armpit." she said.
"Eat jelly out of Owen's belly button." Chris said as Heather gagged. "I can't tell what's going on. Are we picking on Owen or Heather?" he asked, laughing either way.
Heather tried to hold back her vomit as she looked at Owen.
A few minutes later
Heather was now on life support and being tended to by several medics, "How is she?" Chris asked.
"Give her a few minutes. We might need to get the vacuum." one doctor said.
"Cool, Owen you're up." Chris said.
Owen took his turn and landed on Izzy.
"Give a Purple Nurple to a sleeping bear." Chris said as Owen cheered for excitement.
Before realizing he had no idea what a Purple Nurple was.
A few more minutes later
Now the doctors were tending to Owen's injuries from twisting a bear's nipple. As Owen needed to be treated by the doctors. Gwen took her turn, but was surprised by her landing on the mystery photo.
"Cool, little bonus here. The mystery dare can't be passed onto someone else or be rejected by a freebie." Chris said as Gwen gasped.
"That is not fair!" Gwen argued while Heather looked gleeful.
"It kind of is, I just forgot to mention the rules. Though there is an upside to this." Chris said as Gwen listened closely. "You get a free doubloon. If you win one, you can skip another mystery dare or trade them for three freebies. What do you say?" he asked.
Gwen curled her hands into fists, "Fine, I'll take it!" she said.
"Good because, the random dare is…" Chris trailed off as he picked up a red velvet envelope. "…eat a steaming bull of the Curry of Life." he finished.
"Is that one of Souma's experiments?" Gwen asked.
"Nope." Chris said as Naruto opened up a secret floorboard.
Where he proceeded to hand Gwen a bowl of curry. Gwen shrugged at it for a moment as the food just seems to be a bit too hot. Only once she took a bite, her entire body turned red and she started breathing fire.
"What is this? Pure lava?" Gwen asked.
"Curry of Life, for some people. It makes them very powerful." Naruto said before sinking back into the floorboards.
It was 15 minutes of pain for Gwen, but at least she was very energized. Still, Chris pulled out a doubloon with a spiral on the back.
"You want to save it or trade it?" Chris asked.
"I'll take the risk and trade." Gwen said.
"Cool, cool." Chris said as he gave Gwen three freebies instead.
Owen took his turn and also landed on a mystery spot, "Sweet, I hope I get tasty food too!" she exclaimed.
Chris opened the red velvet envelope, "Owen, your secret challenge is to feed the Cryptid." he said.
"Aw man, wait what's a Cryptid?" Owen asked before the floorboard opened.
Where a dangerous unearthly monster started to snarl at Owen. The beast tried it's best to lunge at Owen who screamed in terror. While Naruto was trying to hold down the beast until Owen fed it.
"What do I feed that thing!? People!?" Owen asked.
"Give it some corn." Chris said as he handed the vegetable over to Owen.
"Corn? This thing eats corn?" Owen asked with wide eyes.
"It eats anything, just feed it." Naruto said as Owen moved his hand towards the wild beast. "You could have just tossed the food at it's mouth." he said.
When suddenly the beast bit down on Owen's hand and pulled him down. Causing him and Naruto to slide back down the floorboards. As Naruto proceeded to pull the Cryptid away from Owen. Who was still screaming in terror as he clutched his injured wrist while Naruto was beating up the Cryptid. After a few minutes of repeatedly kicking and smashing the Cryptid's head against the wall. Naruto finally slayed the beast and tended to Owen.
"Hang on one moment, this is a delicate injury." Naruto said as he gently lead Owen to one of the doctors on standby.
Some time later
Owen came back up from the secret floorboard with a lovely brown haired nurse, "Now Owen, try to avoid heavy lifting or anything related to animals." she said.
"Yes Miss Natsuki." Owen replied.
"Now here is your doubloon and a lolipop." the nurse said as she handed both over.
"Thanks Miss Natsuki." Owen said as he happily took his rewards. Only to notice Heather and Gwen looking sick, "Did I miss something?" he asked.
"Gwen drank from a toilet and Heather was shot out of a cannon and into some manure." Chris answered as Owen took his seat. "So, you want to keep the super freebie or three regular freebies?" he asked.
"The coin is cool, but I'll take three freebies to be safe." Owen said as Chris traded with him.
Under the stage
Naruto looked at his three animal familiars as they were looking over a cauldron filled with a green liquid. With all of them chanting over the pot as if they were casting medieval magic.
Naruto sighed as he saw the nurse come back, "Is he going to live Aki?" he asked.
Aki Natsuki nodded, "I heavily discourage this gameshow in general though." she said.
When suddenly, a Tobi appeared, "Boss! Something woke up! I think a zombie from that fancy coffin is coming out!" he yelled.
"What coffin? What are you talking about?" Naruto asked.
"Irene's coffin! She's waking up!" Tobi yelled.
Naruto suddenly bursted through through the stage floor and flew directly towards his castle. Leaving the host and contestants feeling very confused as to what is happening. Then again, everyone is always confused.
Regardless of anyone's feelings, the show must continue.
An extended series of pain followed by Gwen and Owen teaming up on Heather
Chris laughed at the pain Heather was in, "This is totally unfair, I admit that now. However, can't change the rules by this point. It's also your turn again Heather." he said.
Heather groaned as she started spinning the wheel again. This time, landing between Lindsay and the mystery dare which made Heather feel confident that her former lackey was too stupid to think of anything harsh. However, it seemed like Chris looked unsure.
"That's weird, it's perfectly stuck in the middle." Chris said.
"Do I get a do over or something?" Heather asked.
Chris shook his head, "I think this is the universe going easy on you Heather. So, I'll let you decide, but I doubt either of your fellow competitors will accept the dare." he said knowing that Owen gained a lot of freebies after Naruto left and shared some of them.
There is also the mystery challenge, which Heather can't avoid even if she had a freebie.
"Fine, there's nothing that threatening that Lindsay could come up with." Heather said arrogantly.
"Lindsay's Dare: Let Chef shave off your head." Chef said as Heather looked terrified.
"Lindsay is amazing!" Gwen said as she high fives Owen.
"You can still consider the mystery dare Heather. Only I can't reveal it unless you accept the dare." Chris said as Heather quietly tried to think it through.
"Alright fine! I'll take the stupid mystery dare!" Heather yelled as Chris took out the mystery envelope.
The anticipation was slowly killing Heather and leaving the other two feeling anxious. Unsure of what potential sadistic punishment was hiding under that envelope. Especially with hose cheerful Chris looked, as if the envelope was hiding the secret of world peace.
"Wake up Bradley's family." Chris said as everyone gasped. "Yup, this is definitely worse. Too late to back out now." he said.
At Bradley's den
Bradley's family had officially moved to the island in a large series of tunnels. Where the skunks lived in a large labrynth leading to a room where they all slept. From the looks of things, they were all partying or something with how late the day is and how they're still asleep. Heather was then forced into crawling down a large whole connected to their dorm room.
"Heather, you're free to back out, but if you do. That's it. You lose the game and a chance of winning 500,000 dollars." Chris whispered as she went down.
Heather grimaced as she crawled down the hole. With Bradley following her with his camera to get live footage as well as proof of Heather actually waking them up. Though the girl knew that once those skuns are awake, they will more than likely fart in her face. Creating an explosive filled with stink that Owen could rival on the worst of nights with a can of beans. Still, was it worth 500,000 dollars?
After nearly 10 minutes of hiding in the hole where she crawled from. Heather shook her head and wanted to back out. When one of the nearby skunks farted in sleep and made her gag.
"That's it! I'm out!" Heather said as she started to crawl out.
Bradley sighed as this felt disappointing. Sure, Heather is going to be disqualified but this felt underwhelming for the skunk. Until Heather must have kicked a nearby rock or something. Causing the hole where she crawled from to fall down screaming.
"AHHHHHH!" Heather screamed causing the skunks to wake up.
"?" Bradly asked when all of his relatives woke up in fright and started skunking Heather.
Bradley laughed out loud at Heather's situation. Before she desperately ran around the labyrinth, activating more stink traps in the process. Before somehow finding a way out and back to the top. Where the stinking gas on her body killed every plant within 10 meters of her. Bradley came running out with the footage to show Chris who whistled.
"Sorry Heather, you lose." Chris said.
"What? They skunked me!" Heather argued.
"As funny as that is. Okay it's super hilarious, that's not the challenge. You just had to wake them up. Not all of them would have farted on you if you did it gently." Chris said as Heather gritted her teeth. "Still, you tried running and woke up during your escape attempt. So technically, you did wake them up only after quitting." he explained.
"What are you saying!?" Heather asked in a threatening manner.
Chris sighed, "Look, you lose. They win." he said as he pointed at Gwen and Owen.
"No way!" the pair said excitedly.
Heather let out an angry scream. One so loud that it was heard all the way to the island paradise where the losers were secretly taken. As a result of the scream and the skunk stench. Heather's hair fell and caused her to go bald.
"I am so suing you!" Heather yelled.
"Could someone call the Orange Berets?" Chris asked.
Suddenly a smoke grenade fell in between Heather and Chris. As Kurama pulled Chris away as several foxes in army flak jackets and orange berets tackled Heather down. Where they placed a bag on her head and zip tied her arms together. Before stuffing her in the back of an army humvee.
The fox leader saluted everyone before driving off with Heather towards the Boat of Losers.
"That was a bit intense don't you think?" Owen asked.
"It had to be done Owen. The Orange Berets are the elite." Chris answered. "Besides, you two need to prepare for the final challenge. Because the two of you are officially in the Final Two and one step away from winning the 500,000 dollars!" he announced as Chef presented the money case.
"Seriously!?" Gwen asked excitedly.
"It's almost over! I can't wait!" Owen yelled.
Chris then looked at the camera, "That's right, next time will be final challenge. Who will win and go home with this fabulous prize? Will it be Gwen or Owen? Find out next time, on Total! Drama! Island!" he announced as the show stopped filming.
"Hey where's Naruto?" Owen asked.
At the castle
As Naruto abruptly left the stage and challenge. He ran through his labyrinth of a home and found himself outside of the special storage room where he kept Irene's sarcophagus for several centuries. Naruto ran up to the door and took a couple of deep breaths as he turned the nob. Where he opened the door and saw the lid of the sarcophagus being kicked open.
Then it was silent. The sound of a pin dropping all the way from Northern Ireland could be heard with how quiet it became. As Naruto cautiously approached the sarcophagus, he remembered the very woman that indirectly brought him to this world.
Flashback, many years ago in the Elemental Nations
Naruto was shivering in the cold night air. While aimlessly wandering around the Elemental Nations for months, the boy never realized he crossed the border. Eventually finding himself at the coast of River country. Seeing how late it became, Naruto looked around for a good spot to camp. Preferably a cave, because the sense of shelter felt better than being out in the open.
As Naruto looked around for a cave or something remotely equivalent. He looked down at his hands, as they started to grow scales similar to that of a lizard with large claws he couldn't cut. Such a physical appearance made him feared by people outside of Konoha and even ostracized.
'I only have myself. I have to keep living.' Naruto mentally told himself.
As he gathered the wood needed for a fire. The air started to grow colder and almost menacing. Though that could be his paranoia as he looked around.
"What brings such a little boy to go wandering by himself?" asked a disembodied voice.
"Who's there?" Naruto asked.
"Do you seek me boy? Why should I reveal myself?" the voice asked. Naruto stood his ground and tried to look brave, "You are too young to be feared by anyone child." the voice said taunting him.
Naruto started to move on all fours as his scales started to grow and his irises changed shape. Before long, Naruto started to grow wings and a tail.
"Oh my, here I am thinking I was alone, but that's not enough boy. It's not enough to keep up with me." the voice said only to be shaken. "What's this?" it asked.
That's when Naruto's power flared as he started to grow into a black and blue dragon with a gray underbelly. Transforming from a simple child to a monstrous beast only known in myth. Before long, the owner of the voice stepped out from their hiding place. Revealing themselves to be a red haired woman with several braids and a uniform that would easily make anyone believe her to be a witch.
"So the Fairy Heart has passed onto someone else. Though that's not a worthy name now is it?" the woman asked. The dragon then looked down at the woman, "Dragon Heart, that's a more worthy name, but as special as it is. What is your name?" she asked as she looked at Naruto with interest.
End of flashback
The woman stepped out from her sarcophagus, "How long have I been asleep nephew?" she asked.
"Too long Irene." Naruto said as Irene stretched her body.
"How long have I been asleep? Better yet, why are you keeping me stored like unwanted holiday decorations?" Irene asked.
"You have been asleep since the dark ages in the sixth century. The year is currently 2007." Naruto answered as Irene raised a brow.
"I've been asleep too long." Irene said as she stepped passed hm.
Unaware of all the security she triggered. As her awakening released a powerful amount of magic that the castle's defenses tried to keep contain and released onto the island. Better yet, all that power would have likely caught the attention of most of the Canadian population.
TO BE CONTINUED…
NOTES: I hope you enjoyed this series of randomness. Because the season's finale is coming up next. With more wacky adventures and Irene revealing the past before Naruto's arrival to the world. Anyways, see you all next time. I might try Total Drama Action if there's a chance for it later in the next year.